Still wearing towels, both in the waters of the hotsprings, Ren backed Nora against the edge.
"You see, Nora... I" his body closer... "Have..." His face closer... "This urge..." His lips closer to hers... "To kiss you".
He could feel her breathing.
He could feel the heat her boiling blood produced coming out of her skin.
The vapor didn't seen to come from the waters, but from Nora herself.
But... just as he was about to finish her off...
"I'm sorry, I can't!"
She pushed him and jumped out of the waters.
"Oh, no. You just DIDN'T!"
That was it.
He could cope with most of what happened in the last traumatic days of his life.
But not that!
Before she could run away, Ren grabbed her ankle and she tripped.
Nora rolled on the ground, and before she could get up, a shadow was above her.
A predator was pinning her to the ground.
The face of the man that stole her hear was a silhouette against the clouded skies. His eyes seemed like pink ominous stars.
"You see, Nora?" Ren started to speak. "I tire of this game. It's all just the same. I run, you seek. I make plans, I get owned. I try to survive, I get dunked. Don't you find yourself tired? Don't you want more?" Ren aproached his face. "Aren't you tired of these shenanigans that seem to conspire against us ever moving forward? It's as if we are in a loop. And I am about to break it".
Nora was blushing furiously.
"Y-Y-You see, R-Ren? I-It's not like I don't want it. I want it! Iwantitalot,butit'sdifficultforagirltodothistypeofstuffand-"
Ren stopped listening to her. He was tired of it.
Tired of running.
Tired of having his plans foiled.
Tired of her talking.
This started as a plan. Now it was personal.
And he was going to for once win.
Ren's Mind Theory:
1- Nora starts talking a lot
2- Le Ren closes in
3- "You talk too much"
4- Le kiss happens.
5- Improvise some super-duper perfect protagonist kiss Mary Sue-style.
6- Bitches love Le super-duper perfect protagonist kiss Mary Sue-style.
Real Life:
The first 3 steps actually went really well, but...
*BITE!*
"Aaaaaargh!"
"I'M SORRY! Ren I-"
He stopped listening. He couldn't listen!
He closed in for the kiss. The kiss was supposed to work!
The problem is she was talking like a machine, so when he kissed her, his lips went for the small interval when her mouth opened to talk more.
When the mouth closed that *happened*
'Ohmygod how did I mess up so bad?!' He thought. His bottom lip wasn't bleeding but would surely be black by the next day and swollen. And now Nora didn't stop shouting apologies.
The plan backfired!
"Nora..."
"SORRYSORRYSORRY"
"Nora!"
"SORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRY"
"NORA!"
"SORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRY"
Talking didn't work. His lip was burning. His plan failed.
But he sure as hell didn't give up yet.
'Think, Ren! Think of a way to shut her up and kiss her! What does she... THAT'S IT!'
Location: still above her, pinning her to the ground.
The perfect place for a kiss.
Ren pointed to the right:
"Nora, look! A pink unicorn!"
"WHERE!"
'NOW!'
The moment she shut up...
The exact moment her eyes shone and her head twisted...
Ren grabbed her chin, closing her mouth and finished with the kiss.
Her lips were soft and for a second, the pain of his bottom lip ceased. Nora's eyes were wide opened. His eyes were closed.
His mind ran a plan:
Le super-duper perfect protagonist kiss Mary Sue-style plan.
1- Bitches love Le super-duper perfect protagonist kiss Mary Sue-style
2- The super-duper perfect protagonist kiss Mary Sue-style isn't static, but depends on a way to arouse the other side and balance the girl's emotions.
3- Tongue?
4- Before step 3, tease her about bitting bottom lip with smexy smug tone.
5- Tongue?
6- Smexily and smugly softly bite her bottom lip for maximum arousal.
7- TONGUE!
Ren's mind: 'this plan is PERFECT!'
"Hey, Nora..."
"Y-Y-Yes, R-R-Ren?!"
Ren activated the skill [Smexy Smug Tone]
"It really hurt when you bit my lip you know?"
"!"
Ren looked at her face. She was cutely and dangerously blaming herself for hurting him.
Ren aproached his face and...
"I have to 'punish' you" and gently bit her bottom lip.
He heard her moan. The plan was going well.
Now, for the last part: during the moan close in and-
"REN!" Nora shouted.
The light disappeared from her eyes.
"Wha-" he opened his mouth in surprise.
That was a mistake.
She took that oportunity to close in, kiss him and her tongue invaded his mouth.
Nora flipped them both and pinned Ren to the ground. Her tongue slid over his teeth, gums and Nora started to suck his tongue out.
His saliva, the air from his lungs and he felt his tongue nearly rip out!
Finally, Nora released him and Ren's head hit the ground.
"You were right!" She said. "YOU WERE RIGHT! Youwererightrightandright!"
He couldn't speak. He was too surprised for that.
But Nora did the speaking next:
"I was too afraid, but you ceased my worries Ren!"
"Nora, I'm starting to think I was wrong and we should take this more slowly and-"
"NO!" Nora covered Ren's mouth with her hand. "That's a mistake! Everything is already confirmed! We are in love! The kiss was proof enough! There is only one thing left to do!"
Nora slid her free hand under her towel and took something out. Ren recognized it: a condom.
'Oh my god...'
"You just made me a woman" she said upon opening the plastic. "Now, I will make you a man!"
'Timeouttimeouttimeout!' His plan heavily backfired!
Nora threw the condom in her own mouth:
"Dun wowwy; dish ish goin eshacly whewwe itch hash to go!"
'Oh god oh god oh god!'
He never felt more scared in his whole life.
'What kind of idiot was I?! I just kissed a yandere right away!'
Fearing the future to come, he realized he threw meat at the lion's den
Meanwhile, Cardin's side.
Inside the dungeon, Cardin was alone at the hotsprings (save point)
He lost his connection to Jaune and his plan failed:
Cardin's plan:
1- Kiss da gurlz!
2- TONGUE!
It was too lewd for even Velvet and both girls ran away.
"Yippie..." He muttered boredly. "Yaaaay... Damn, I hope Jaune is getting owned by the boss right now or something..."
Heretic notes:
You know what's cool? Getting to the point!
Truth to be told, I re-read this all and got bored.
Bored of cliffhangers and unsurprisingly developments.
I felt it was different from most harem fics but constant cockblocking bored me. So, I decided on: STOP THAT!
I'm not saying it will be like that from now; there must be a balance or something. But, well, screw balance!
One thing homestuck has taught me is: get to the point. Like a true gamer, wreck some sh*t! And if the game is impossible, break the game!
And I was like: give that bitch a kiss. Bitches love kisses.
"But sir, harem protagonists cant kiss da bitches!"
F*ck that!
Seeya around people!
Heretic, out!
