CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

My throat hurt from screaming so much, my eyes burned from all the tears that had fallen, I head killed so many people and I don't even know why.

Kakuzu needed another heart to be back to normal, Sasori said he had enough. Pein told Hidan to restrain me. I had forgotten he had been in the room. He was being quiet, standing in the corner looking flat out shocked; Emi didn't even seem to know that the silver hair immortal was even in the room. He had a red metal spike through his shoulder but he didn't seem to be in pain. His eyes were wide; he was in trance before Pein had told him to restrain me.

Hidan didn't move at first, Pein shouted at him and he sprung to life. Moving like only a commanded shinobi could. He grabbed my shoulders and pulled me up from the ground, I struggled in his grip but he was stronger, so much stronger. I was still screaming, everything in my body felt like it was being torn apart. I was thrashing against Hidan, Emi was helping Sasori by cleaning blood that was flowing from the large slash down his torso.

He looked dead, like he was on an autopsy table. The thought made my screams louder, my tears fall faster. I don't know why. My mind was everywhere, focused on the pain, trying to get to another heart for Kakuzu. The world was spinning I felt Chakra binds wrapping around me. Itachi stood in the doorway with his hands out in a justu hand sign. He must have heard the screaming.

I felt the Chakra absorbing into my skin it hurt, I forgot what this had felt like. It was terrible. I couldn't move, Hidan released me and I fell to my knees, arms tightly bound at my sides. I felt the kunai knife digging into my flesh and screamed again. I was a bloody mess.

Reality was tearing to shreds around me, I had nowhere to go, no one to go to. The kunai in my side shifted and I screamed again, not that I had really stopped. I think my throat was bleeding from all my screams. I could barely see through the tears in my eyes. Sasori and Kakuzu were behind me, I couldn't see the stitched man. I wanted to see him. Make sure his hearts were beating; make sure he would be fine. I wanted to see his perpetually angry face scowling as I explored the halls in the middle of the night.

He needed to be okay. The Chakra was in my system flowing like blood through veins. I screamed louder, collecting the Chakra in the center of my chest, it hurt so much.

The Chakra was building then it was gone. The Chakra surged forth, I felt it prickling my skin then it blasted. It shot forward the Chakra that bound me was blasted away; the large black ball of energy exploded against the wall, the room shook. So much agony, I was tired now. My barely open eyes saw Itachi standing with angry Sharingan eyes blazing and a charred half sleeve where he had deflected the black energy into the other wall where a large black scar now took the place of several cabinets that were once there.

I jerked around to see Kakuzu, his eyes were closed in a grimace again. I wanted to reach out for him, I couldn't I collapsed onto my stomach. The kunai knife jarred in my side and I whimpered with no energy to scream. I vaguely heard Hidan cursing in the background. My ears were ringing loudly. My all over hurt I wanted to rest but I had to get Kakuzu another heart; Sasori be damned if he thinks he doesn't need the last one. Of course he needs it.

I was strewn on the ground, my head barely lifted up to look up at what I could see of Kakuzu. He needed the last heart. Especially when one of the ones he had was almost lame, all of his heartbeats were so loud. I wondered if everyone that they were loud. I could hear the damaged one faltering every so often. My own heart hurt. I don't know why. I hate being confused.

I thought as heard as my shrieking head would allow, thought about the last heart that Kakuzu needed. I felt the jerking tug of teleportation. It hurt so much. Like nothing I have ever felt before. I was being torn apart. I stopped with my panting on the ground, covered in blood, tired, hurt, angry, and desperate. My eyes were glazed and unfocused but I saw him.

The man stood at the edge of a river some odd feet away from me; his back facing me while he crouched next to the water. I didn't have my strangely acquired meat cleaver. I didn't know what to do until I felt the kunai in my side shift again. I grabbed the handle of the blade and ripped it free from my side. I nearly screamed, biting my lip to lower the sound to a dull whimper.

The man turned quickly but I dove at him, we went back into the water. Him landing under me with a giant splash as his back hit the gravel river stones under the water. The water closed around his face before he shoved me off. I didn't miss a beat and dash back to hide behind a tree. The man got out of the river and looked around, on guard and confused. Everyone was confused these days. It's easier to be confused than to understand.

I dashed behind him, using the trees as cover. I wasn't in control again. I was standing to the side while my body knocked the man back down and drove the kunai into his chest cavity. Carving a long gruesome line down his chest, I watched my hand reach into the very thick cut and grab the sternum, or perhaps just some ribs and started snapping them out of the way. The sound filled my head and it tormented me. I hadn't paid attention to what my body had actually been doing before but this time my eyes were drawn to the scene happening before me. A sort of morbid curiosity that made me feel dirty.

My body tossed the ribs and meat chunks to the side, away from the gasping man. He had been screaming so loudly that it hurt my muffled ears. I watched my hands reach deep inside the autopsied body and cut the heart out. I gagged as I actually looked at the organ that my controlled body was gripping loosely. I was suddenly back in control of my body, holding the hot heart in my hand with a caring grip. I gagged and dry heaved, it hurt to do so. The teleportation feeling felt like it stretched my body to impossible lengths then squished it as the jerking took hold. I didn't know that a person could hurt so much for so long with no relief.

I was on my hand and knees when I was back in the medical ward, the heart still clutched gently in my hand, I passed it off to Sasori, he took it without a word and continued working. Pein stood next to my gasping and gagging form. My entire being hurt, not just physical, but mental, and emotional as well; I was lost I guess. I didn't know why I was here, for what purpose was here. I didn't know what was making my act so strange, trying to save a man I had barely ever talked to because I desperately needed him to be okay and safe and well.

I had no more screams or tears left in me; I wallowed in my pain on the ground next to Kakuzu's operation bed. No one touched me, no one came near me, and no one spoke. Kakuzu was groaning in pain. I heard it faintly through the ringing in my ears. It made my heart hurt to hear such a sound from the normally stoic man. I don't know why. I hate not knowing things but it had been such a long time since I had known something for certain.

I wasn't in control again, it became a common thing, even if it had been only several minutes that it had started to occur. I didn't think it was a good thing that it was common. It was probably a very bad thing but the pain dulled when it happened. My only sweet relief, the pain wasn't one but it wasn't nearly as bad as it had been. I watched my body as it struggled to its feet, I was in it again but I still wasn't in control. Emi stood next to me, blood spilling from the gash that was appearing on her chest under her shirt.

I looked at Kakuzu, watching the wound slowly heal before black threads flew out and started stitching the cut back together. Emi's healing stopped as she back away in shock before resuming the healing, not completely, a thin but long scar split the stitched chest. Emi fell back on the other medical table to let her new wound heal. Kakuzu was gasping, I hurt and the control was mine again. Sasori left the room, Hidan left with Emi soon after. Itachi had already gone. Pein stood there staring at me weakly standing form next to Kakuzu who had just barely opened his eyes.

Why hadn't they given him anesthesia? The question nagged at my mind as I leaned over the conscious five hearted man. His normally tan skin was pale. He gave a loud gasp and his hand shot to the neatly stitched scar, clutching his chest and wincing in pain. I was confused. Joy coursed through my body to see that he was okay, in pain, but okay. No chance of him just spontaneously dying from the failure of a lame heart, I was so happy that he was okay. I could hear his hearts beating strongly, except for that one. That one would be fine though. It would heal and get better. It was just important that he was okay.

Why was it important? I don't know. Why did it matter so much? I don't know. He was a murderer, not a friend of mine, I barely knew him. I had killed people for him. Why? There was no reason. Why would I murder for this man? I don't know. The pain slammed into me like a freight train, a very fast moving freight train at that. I whimpered and leaned against the medical table, it hurt to move but I was so happy that he was okay. Why though? I don't know. I hate not knowing! Kakuzu was watching me with confused eyes. It was strange. He didn't look right confused.

It didn't matter though, he was okay. That's what mattered. Why did that matter? I was confused. Kakuzu was still watching me as I leaned against his medical bed, the pain was weighting me down but I still wanted to make sure that Kakuzu was okay. Pein didn't say anything, just left with a thinking brooding face.

I did the only thing that I felt was right to do. I grabbed either side of Kakuzu's face; his stitched cheeks were both rough and smooth under my palms, it was strange. I closed my eyes and kissed him. His lips were oddly smooth with my own rough chapped lips contrasting his. I think he responded but I don't know; I could have imagined it or he could have just been shocked or still in to much pain to even know what was happening. Then again, thought, maybe not.

But I wasn't confused anymore, the weight that had been on my shoulders lifted like a helium filled balloon. The pain was gone from every inch of my body now, I was in bliss. Pure and utter ecstasy at my sudden knowledge; I smiled for the first time in a very, very long time. Or what felt like a very, very long time at least.

I wasn't confused anymore. Not when I was sure he was kissing me back now.

There was no reason to be confused now. It was so strange.

I knew why it was all so important. I was so relieved. Nothing else mattered anymore.

I loved this man.


End

Please Review. Thanks to all my readers. I love you, faithful reviewers! I hope you liked it.

Sincerely, Absinth