A/N: I reread the earliest chapters again, and the author's notes. That reminded me that, not only is this an Impossible Christmas for Tentoo and Rose, but for me as well. I never expected to get this far. I have 122 pages of this. One hundred and twenty two. Not only is this my longest story but also most reviewed. One hundred twenty-two pages, thirty-five follows, twenty-one favorites, and around a hundred reviews. This is all thanks to you guys; I cannot thank you enough for the encouragement and inspiration. Merry Christmas, God bless, and enjoy the show!
Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who
"So sorry we're late!" Rory apologized to Rose.
"No, you're fine," Rose insisted, giving them each a hug. "Happy Christmas!"
"You too," Amy exclaimed as she hugged her friend.
"Hello, Mels!" Rose greeted Amy and Rory's daughter.
"Hi, Mrs. Tyler," Mels let go of her father's hand to high-five Rose.
"We brought these." Amy handed Rose the boxes she had been carrying.
Rose raised one eyebrow and smirked as she examined them. "You really were in a hurry, weren't you?"
Amy looked for the first time at the boxes her husband had handed her before they rushed out of their flat. One was a box of frozen fish fingers. The other was custard. Fish fingers. And custard. "Rory!"
"I couldn't remember if were supposed to bring a dessert or an appetizer," he flinched into a defensive position.
"Oh!" Rose laughed. "Don't worry; it was Jack who was supposed to bring dessert, but he didn't!" She addressed the last bit to the man in the long coat in the sitting room.
"I got hungry!" He called back.
"''Scuse me," Melody asked Rose, "Where'd Jack and Donna get off too?"
"They're in Jack's room playing with Tony," Rose said, "they must not have heard the door."
"Sneak up on 'em," Jack Harkness suggested.
"Don't sneak up on them," Rory advised his daughter.
"And if you end up playing chess, don't cheat," Amy added as Melody left.
"Tony doesn't like to play chess," Melody reminded her mother.
"That's cause you all cheat," the twins' father said knowingly.
"Come on in, we're just settling down," Rose ushered the Williams' into the sitting room.
"Amy, Rory, I believe you know Sarah Jane, Martha, Donna, and Clara," the Doctor pointed out the people he named. "These are Rose's parents, Jackie and Pete."
"Hello, dear," the blonde woman shook Amy's hand, "lovely to meet you, I've heard so much about you two."
"Good things, I hope," Rory laughed nervously as Jackie firmly shook his hand.
"Tish, of course," she nodded.
"Pleasure to meet you," Pete shook their hands too, more reserved than his wife.
"That's Clara's boyfriend Danny, he's a maths teacher–"
"No, I'm not," Danny shook his head, "I'm a P.E. teacher."
"Are you sure?" The Doctor asked.
"We go through this every time we see each other; I teach physical education, not mathematics." Danny stated. He then turned to the Williams'. "Hello."
"Hello," Rory shook his hand.
"So this is him, eh Clara?" Amy called as she shook Danny's hand.
Clara covered her blushing face with her hands when Danny looked back at her.
The Doctor changed the subject. "And that's Jack Harkness. He's a coworker of ours. He's just loitering, don't mind him."
"Hey," Jack waved and called out his greeting from the rocking chair Rose and the Doctor had dragged in from their room.
"I nursed my babies in that chair, be careful," Rose warned as he rocked precariously.
"Don't worry," he waved off her mistrust.
"Don't worry, Rose, I'm kicking him out," the Doctor motioned for Jack to move.
"Why?" Harkness asked through a mouthful of walnuts.
"Cos, now scoot," was the Doctor's answer.
"Aw," Harkness obeyed grudgingly, moving instead to sit in the kitchen chair beside it.
"Everyone find a seat!" The Doctor waved to the assortment of furniture crammed into the sitting room, circled around a coffee table with wrapped gifts set upon it.
"What're we doing?" Amy asked, sitting on the end of the couch beside the chair Rory had taken.
"White elephant exchange," Rose explained.
"It was Pete's idea," the Doctor nodded appreciatively to his father-in-law.
"He picked the stuff, though," Rose jerked her head to indicate her husband. "Even I don't know what some of this is."
"Explain this to me again?" Harkness asked.
Donna Noble rolled her eyes. "Where're you from?"
"Don't answer that," the Doctor instructed him. Only a few of them knew that Jack Harkness was a Time Agent from the fifty-first century; Donna was not one of them.
Rose sat next to her mum in the love seat. "The Doctor found a bunch of useless random items and wrapped them up; your goal, by trading with people, is to get the thing you want."
"I do this with my family," Martha nodded. "Leo tries to get the craziest thing he can find."
"Knowing the Doctor, we'll have a pretty high level of crazy," Clara said, moving closer to Amy so that Danny could sit next to her.
"Okay, who goes first?" The Doctor rocked in the chair, energy built up the the maximum.
"The noob," Harkness pointed to Danny.
"What?" Danny started.
"You don't have to if you don't want to," Rose assured him.
"No, that's okay," he shrugged. He thought for a moment, then picked the wrapped thing nearest to him. Opening it, he found that it was not a box, as he had anticipated, but a red foam die.
"I don't even want to know where you picked that up," Amy laughed.
"And there's no one to trade with," the Doctor put his hand to his chin, "but I think you can exchange it for something on the table."
"Is that allowed?" Sarah Jane wondered aloud.
"I dunno, I guess," the Doctor shrugged. "I've never done this before."
"That's okay, I'm not taking my chances," Danny shook his head.
"So, let's go clockwise. Martha, you're up."
"Oh, okay," Martha too picked the wrapped object nearest to her. She unwrapped the box and opened it to find an old lightbulb. She opted to trade for another wrapped object, which turned out to be a box of children's cereal.
"Oh, yeah," the Doctor smiled. "That stuff's original release, that is."
"This is an antique box of cocoa puffs?" Martha asked incredulously.
"That's not how I would have said it," Jackie noted.
"You're turn's up, you're stuck with it," the Doctor said. "Donna?"
Donna chose an object from the table, unwrapping it to find an old horseshoe.
"Do horses have feet that big?" Rory's eyes widened. Donna frame her face in the shoe.
"Not on planet Earth," Harkness scoffed.
"Actually," the Doctor said, "Yeah, that is from Earth."
"You say that like some of this stuff isn't," Amy said.
The Doctor didn't respond to that. "Sarah Jane's go."
"Donna doesn't want this die?" Danny asked.
"No I don't want that ugly thing," Donna responded.
"Just go," Clara told Sarah Jane.
"Oh, Alright," she said, taking a small gift bag from the table. She unwrapped it to find rocket-ship patterned socks.
"Oh those are sweet!" Jackie said.
"Yeah, those used to be mine," the Doctor smiled. Then, in response to the looks he got, "I washed them!"
"Yeah, but they're not as good as this die, right?" Danny held it out to her hopefully.
"Oh, no, I like them fine," Sarah Jane said.
"Okay, it's the Doctor's turn," Rose shook her head, laughing.
"But I know what's here!" He protested.
"Fine," Rose picked a random object and handed it to him.
He unwrapped it carefully, for the wrapping gave way to reveal a delicate china plate, patterned in white and blue.
"Oh, that's lovely," Martha said.
"Was from a friend," he said. "Here, I'll trade you," he held it out to her.
Martha's eyes widened. "I can't take that!"
"He was a lousy friend," the Doctor shrugged. "Go on, Happy Christmas."
Reluctantly, Martha took the plate from him, handing over the boxed cereal.
"Alright, my turn," Harkness said. He picked up the package before him by the handle that was sticking out of it. He unwrapped it to find that the handle connected to a rectangular bit. "What the heck is this thing?"
"It's a sandwich maker," Pete said. "You put the bread and stuff in there and hold it over the fire. You found that in our garage, didn't you?" His question was addressed to the Doctor.
"Yeah, hope you don't mind," he replied.
"Nah, what're we using it for?" Jackie answered for him.
"What am I gonna use it for?" Harkness asked.
"You can still trade it," Rose said.
"Yeah, how about a nice giant die?" Danny offered.
"Nah," he held out the sandwich maker to Donna.
"What?" Donna blinked. "Fine." She handed over the horseshoe.
"Aw, Jack and Donna stealing toys from each other," Amy laughed.
"Ha ha," Donna replied sarcastically. "Joke's on you, though, Harkness, I got the good end. I got a present for Gramps."
"Yeah, well I can fly a spaceship with this puppy," Harkness mimed steering a ship, using the horseshoe as the steering.
"What are you doing?" Danny asked the Doctor, who had opened the box of cereal and was munching on a handful.
"I'm hungry," he mumbled innocently.
"We just ate!" Rose reminded him.
"That's gotta be, like, a million years old, mate," Rory gaped, disgusted.
"Nah, only about..." He frowned and checked the back of the box.
"That's gross," Martha coughed.
"That's gotta taste like dust," Donna scoffed.
"Pete, quick, get something you can trade," Jack urged him.
Pete opened the little gift bag to find what looked a bit like gummy bears.
"Jelly babies!" The Doctor exclaimed. "Forgot I threw those in there."
"No way are you getting this too," Pete shook his head.
"I'll trade you for the die," Danny suggested. "I'll keep those from him."
Jackie shook her head and took her turn. "I swear, you're worse than the kids." She opened her package and pulled out a glass jar.
"As a mother and grandmother, it is my duty to confiscate that cereal from you," Jackie took the box out of the Doctor's hands, handing him the jar. He cheered up again when he found that taking the lid on and off the jar made a fun popping sound.
"Go on, sweetheart," Jackie said. It was Rose's turn.
Rose unwrapped the unknown object to reveal a metal yard decoration reindeer.
"What is that?" Amy cackled.
"That was in our garage too!" Pete pointed.
"Oh, keep that," Danny laughed.
"I dunno, that die is pretty nice," Rose joshed.
"Wait, really? Take it," Danny thrust it to her.
"I was kidding," Rose laughed. "I'm gonna– no I'm taking that thing away from you," Rose snatched the jar from her husband, ceasing the flow of incessant popping sounds made by his opening and closing the jar repeatedly.
"Aw," he said. Then he was handed the deer.
"That was a dangerous trade," Clara said.
"Too late, it's my garage deer now," the Doctor replied. "Rory's turn."
"Okay," Rory picked a safe-looking flat package, which ended up being a "No Parking" sign.
Amy laughed. "That's brilliant!"
"Sure you don't want to trade?" Danny held out the die.
"Not the garage deer!" the Doctor hugged the metal deer protectively.
"No, I'm fine," Rory shook his head.
"Okay, I'll go," Amy said, taking the last wrapped box from the table. She opened the box to find a license plate– BADWOLF.
"Great, you can hang it next to the sign," Sarah Jane laughed.
"How'd you manage to find that?" Rose asked the Doctor.
"I know, right, what are the odds?" he replied, stroking the garage deer.
She gave him a look.
"Yeah," he admitted, "probably a hundred percent."
"Why, is bad wolf important?" Amy asked.
"It was Rose's... nickname in.. high school." The Doctor offered.
"We don't do high school in England," Rose reminded him.
"Not yet, anyway," he shrugged.
"You should have it, then," Amy handed it to Rose.
"Not if you want it," Rose protested.
"Nah, besides, we can use the jar," Amy said.
"How about a die?" Danny offered, but it was too late.
Clara patted his shoulder empathetically before taking her turn, taking the light bulb from the table.
"I think you can still trade?" Rose questioned the Doctor, but he was too busy playing with the deer.
"I think this is beginning to get unhealthy," Clara said, moving and taking the deer from him, handing him the light bulb.
"Hey!" he protested. "Why are you all taking stuff from me?"
"Sorry," Clara shrugged.
"Nevermind. Rose, look," he held the light bulb over his head, and, with a whirring noise, it lit.
"How are you doing that?" Donna gaped.
"Time Lord magic," he replied.
"Is not, I can hear your sonic," Rose laughed.
"Is too!" the Doctor said. "Danny, you still want to trade that old die?"
"Actually, I think I've grown attached to it," he replied with a shrug.
"You can't trade anymore," Harkness pointed out.
"Can too," the Doctor slapped him upside the head. "Fool of a Took."
"Sorry, what?" Amy asked. "Why's he calling you that?"
"Cos he hasn't seen Lord of the Rings," the Doctor said scornfully.
"Oh," Amy shrugged. "Neither have I."
The Doctor shook his head, aghast. "Amelia, Amelia."
"Are you hungry?" Rose asked, changing the subject. "You two came in late."
"I'll pop over and get you some fish fingers and custard," the Doctor offered, swinging himself out of the rocking chair.
"Not together, right?" Rory clarified.
"Of course not, right?" Rose insisted.
The Doctor shrugged this off as he maneuvered, taking the die from Danny as he passed and leaving the light bulb.
"Hey!" Danny protested. "Come back here with that!"
"Here we go," Amy laughed.
A/N: Danny Pink and a big red foam die. Still a better love story than Twilight.
Also, if I got the rules wrong, sorry. I've only done this once at a friend's birthday party– most of the gifts there were used in this, including the jar, garage deer, horseshoe, and "No Parking" sign. I had this idea way back then of a TARDIS gift exchange, and this is what it turned into.
Also, eh heh, I suppose I have left out Tony Tyler for a bit long, haven't I? Add him to the list of characters that need to show up more ;)
Wishing you the best of whatever holiday lights up your December this year!
