A/N: Sorry BIG week, holiday plans with family and friends got in the way of writing. I will update in between exams next week because I will die of boredom otherwise anyway enjoy! (It won't be long, my best friends sleeping over and I can't write for long sorry!)
Bella's POV
As I watched Edward and Jacob talking I relished in being able to talk to Edward. It was nice just knowing that we had a chance of figuring things out between us and maybe becoming friends. I mean when you're sixteen you look back and think of all the relationships before high school don't count. Right?
So even if I was to date him I wouldn't remember when I am older and even if I didn't I wouldn't think of it as a real relationship. We're not dating anymore I shouldn't be thinking of that anyway. No we won't get back together until I can be in an argument with him and not get scared. That probably won't be until I get home at the very least.
After Jake said good-bye, after half an hour joke around with Edward talking about all of the pranks that Jake had seen due to the connection the wolves share. Hearing about them was pretty funny, once Edward got over his shyness he was a trouble maker. Jake hugged Edward and I much to Edward's refusal, we walked back to camp in an awkward silence.
Well that was until he grabbed my hand and started messing with my fingers, I didn't have it in me to pull away because it felt so right just to be with Edward. Even after yesterday, it felt like an eternity ago now because I had so much racing through my head.
When we arrived at the edge of the forest I smiled at Edward and slipped my hand out of his I didn't need an excited Alice or pissed of Rose on my case today. I saw the question in his eyes, I shook my head. I wasn't ready yet.
I had to stop lying to myself first and except myself before I could let anyone else except me for who I am because I might not even be telling them the truth and I won't know. I couldn't be more than friends with anyone yet; my friends will understand if I change because they won't know my deepest darkest secrets as a boyfriend would. They wouldn't be able to deal with the massive change I would have and would feel like they didn't know me anymore.
Edward looked disappointed as I pulled away and started walking towards my tent; I was beginning to form a plan in my head. I was going to avoid everyone I could in the next few days, but I wouldn't talk to Edward at all. I needed time and space from everyone to figure myself out instead of dealing with everyone else's drama and problems.
I unzipped my tent and dived in like superman onto my sleeping bag with a loud ugh, and the floor was hard and lumpy, I can't believe I'd been sleeping on this for the past 2 weeks. I rolled onto my back and looked at the dirty green slanted ceiling that was my tent.
Right first off, was I shy? It a part of me or am I just putting it on? Well I believe that it's just me being stupid but I know for a fact it isn't yes a lot of it is stupid like getting scared when someone yells at me, I mean, if you've had someone yell at you and you connected it to something bad of course it'll; scare you and make you flinch and shy away every time someone yells but I've never had that so it's ridiculous. To a point I am shy, everyone is even the most confident person would be shy because of one thing. SO I just need to come to terms of being shy with something's like new people just not as bad as my fainting spells.
My easiness around adults, why is that? I've never got this part of my shyness; I can't talk to people around the same age as me. 3 years either way I get really reserved, but people who are older and younger than that is because little kids try to impress you and adults generally are nice to you because you're younger and want to learn off them. However people the same age as you don't look up to you they think of you as an equal and can be really mean to you. That's been reluctant to get friends because I was always scared they'd turn around and be mean to me even if I was being nice to them and never gave them any fuel to be horrible to me.
As I thought of all of these things I drifted off into a light slumber, dreaming of bunnies and rainbows. Actually I don't remember dreaming I was just kidding around.
A/N: I hope you like I didn't know whose POV to do as an extra because no one suggested, you could have had a whole extra 200 words if you'd told me :D
R&R and tell me who's POV to do next!
xoExoMxo
