Victor makes his way on the arch's ledge, fifty feet above the water. His bare feet thread carefully on the sharp edges of rock, trying not cut himself or fall. He watches below as a large school of fish approaches. Waits until it's right below him before he jumps. The ocean comes fast at him. Victor presses his arms to his sides and holds his breath as his body breaks the surface. The ocean become unsettled from the impact. The school of fish dispersing into different directions all around him.
He watches Yuri appear from his hiding spot. Using the chaos to his advantage and snatch as many fish as he can with quick deadly moves.
Victor stays below, holding his breath as long as he can. Watching in fascination as Yuri hunts. As Yuri stops with an armful of fish and smiles as he closes the space between them. Victor holds on to Yuri's arm as he swims by and together they reach the surface.
Above the sun is new and a day has started.
Yuri drowns in the warmth.
His entire body arches up as droplets of sweat and water drip down his body.
He sinks down. The head of Victor's cock pushes inside him. "Ah—"
"Fuck, Yuri…" Victor presses his lips against the natare's chest, next to his nipple. "You're still soaking wet, I don't know if I can hold you up, I'll go inside you too fast."
"Isn't that fine?" Yuri tilts his head down, fingers digging into his aman's shoulders.
Victor groans. "You're going to kill me, love."
Yuri sinks lower, pulling his aman deeper inside him as their noses brush. As their lips meet and hunger. Victor manages to hold him despite the soaking skin, despite the friction. Yuri moves first, pulling himself up slightly to sink back down as hands roam, grab, and hold. As soft pants become louder.
"Hold me close." The natare gasps against Victor's lips. The human's grip tightens around the spot where skin and fin meet, pulling him closer, pushing deeper inside him, until teeth find his shoulder and Yuri feels his mate's need spilling deep inside him.
Their hearts beat in unison. Victor doesn't let go.
Yuri rubs his nose against his mate's neck, Victor's cock pulses inside him with each small movement.
He holds on as tight and long as he can.
Outside the sun has already set and another day is gone.
Victor kisses Yuri's neck with soft lingering presses, fingertips feeling the soft pulse of a heartbeat beneath the skin. He's careful not to wake his sleeping beauty. Treasuring every second that passes.
The world was such madness.
A month ago he was considering retirement. His inspiration and love depleted by the loss of his mother. The heartache was still fresh from her sudden passing. From the moment he'd heard from the accident. From being by her side holding her hand until she was gone.
'Move on', his father had said the day after they buried her. 'Move on," he said the day they started putting her things in boxes. He wasn't even allowed to mourn. Strong Russian men just didn't grieve the loss of a loved one. They moved on.
He always had a strenuous relationship with his father. His mother the fine line that kept them in a balanced existence. His father would never understand what her loss meant to Victor. She had been the one to take him to every practice at the crack of dawn. The one to support him when others mocked him for wanting to dance. She'd been the one present at every show in sad little theaters with no reputation. She was the one front and center at opening night in the The Bolshoi Theatre.
Dancing meant life.
When he danced the world faded and only the music existed.
When he danced the voices murmuring and hundreds of eyes watching disappeared.
When he danced It was just him, the lights, and the surface that he brushed with his feet.
Dance meant love.
When he finished the roar of the crowd overtook his every sense and heart. When the curtains closed the happiness of his family overwhelmed him with affection.
Without his mother he would have never known this life. He would have never known this love.
So when he felt her warmth fade as he held her hand, his life and love went along with her. His passion to dance lost to the void. His feet falling on empty rhythms on the stage. He just didn't have it in him to keep dancing. As a result he canceled sold out shows. Hid away from the world. Not even Yakov and Mila had been able to pull him out of the void. Their visits becoming less frequent as the days went by.
It had been his father's idea for him to travel. The one to make arrangements behind his back and make promises under his name. To board a steamship under an exclusive contract. World famous dancer Victor Nikiforov giving a private performance to sponsors that could afford him. His father tried selling him on the glamour of cruising and the opportunity to see the world, but Victor had refused until Yakov and Mila convinced him to go and promised to accompany him.
The SS Naronic was a vessel that was anything but glamorous. It was a cargo ship with capacity to carry passengers. Victor's sponsor, a rich American merchant, was able to secure the entire passenger portion of the midsize vessel for his personal whims. At first Victor was convinced he had made a mistake. But as the days went by and the distance grew between and his motherland, the weight started to lift. The sorrow started to be less painful. The night he danced again, he could almost feel the music inside him again. He felt the heart that had been missing all this time.
And then it sank…
The waves crash outside the cave. Yuri's chest rises and falls as he takes soft breaths. His skin tepid as tepid as Victor gently places his palm on his stomach.
If he had never boarded that vessel he'd probably be sitting alone in his home right now. Alone drowning in memories. If he had never gotten on that vessel Mila and Yakov would still be alive. If he had never boarded that vessel he'd had never met Yuri.
A splash of water catches Victor's attention. Yuri's tail dips in the water as the natare wakes from his pleasant slumber. "Is the sun out already?" He asks as he rolls closer to Victor.
"Almost," Victor answers, unable to resist running his fingers through the dark locks.
"My skin is dry," Yuri mentions and rolls back until he falls in the pool. Victor closes the space immediately, hand dipping in the water so he can rub Yuri's cheek. "Did you sleep well?"
"My back hurts a little, but I'm ok." Yuri leans towards the touch, eyes closing as Victor's fingertips graze his skin.
The moment is fleeting. Victor wishes it would last forever. But it doesn't. Yuri's skin leaves his touch. He moves away in the water and looks at the world beyond the cave.
Today is the fifth day.
Today Yuri leaves.
Victor still wasn't entirely sure why Yuri couldn't stay. His little fish had been vague and scared whenever the topic came about. All he really knew was that if Yuri didn't return both their lives were in danger. A danger he still couldn't quite grasp. He did not fear what Yuri was, never had to be honest. Yet he understood that the way Yuri saw him wasn't how other natare would see him. To others like Yuri he was something to kill or destroy on sight.
"I'll hunt us some food," Yuri speaks softly, pushing himself from the edge and makes his way to the barrier, breaking the contact between them.
Victor's heart suddenly fills with fright. He can't forget that night. Can't forget the sight of Yuri disappearing into the darkness. He uses his legs to push himself into the pool and enclosed Yuri in his arms. "Don't leave," he whispers in his little fish's ear. "Stay with me."
The natare's skin prickles and warms beneath his touch. His voice trembles and falls. "Victor… you know I have to."
Victor holds on tighter, lips against the back of Yuri's neck. "You can get us breakfast if you want. Just come back and never leave. I don't want you to ever leave."
"I can't." Yuri's voice shudders. "I can't." It cracks.
"I don't care about your nest. I don't care if they want to kill me. Let them come and find us. Whatever they want, whatever they told you to do, we can face it together."
Yuri stiffens instantly, Victor can almost feel the fear travel across his beloved's spine. Yuri shivers, hands leaving the water so he can hide his face behind them. Victor asks what's wrong, but Yuri doesn't speak, just shakes and cries.
At first Victor doesn't know what to do. He tries his best to comfort, tries his best to calm, but his words remain unheard. His beloved little fish just weeps and breaks in his arms.
Why is he always saying the wrong things? Why does he hurt his heart so?
"Please..." When did his own voice start shaking too? "Yuri, please… I'm sorry. " He repeats kind words until his voice is sore. But nothing he says quells the cries of his little fish. Nothing he does stops the quivers. Of the knowledge of what's to come. Of the farewell that's inevitable.
All he can do is wait. All he can do is be there and hold Yuri until the shaking stops and the sobs end.
Victor is not aware of the passing of time. He finds a corner in the pool to rest and hold Yuri in his arms. Wipes the natare's tears away as they fall. Kisses his brow again and again as he waits. Waits until Yuri is ready. Waits until Yuri finally speaks.
"I have a close friend." Yuri's words are shaken still. "A very good friend. His name is Takeshi." He rests his head on Victor's shoulder. "He's been my friend since we were little." His body curls around his aman's body, itching for warmth. "My family died a few years ago. Did I tell you that?" his eyes glance up. Victor watches silently, listening to every word. "My mom and sister we're killed in accident. My dad was so sad. He was very very sad. So sad he forgot I was there. So sad he stopped eating. He stopped everything and then he died. Cause that's what happens to true mates in my nest. They can't live without the other. They die without the other." Yuri gets even closer. "Takeshi became my family after they were gone, he and Yuko where there for me. We spent all our time together. They care about me a lot you know?" Victor nods. Yuri nuzzles against his neck. "Takeshi followed me here. The first night we slept in the cave. He saw you. He saw us. And I—" Victor is ready this time when the shaking starts. "I was so scared." He's ready when Yuri's voice breaks. "The first thing I thought was that he had killed you. Because that's what we're supposed to do. That's what my kind is trained from birth to do. Kill humans on sight so we remain in the dark. So we are never found." Victor knows. He nods. Yuri takes a deep breath. "We have to remain in the dark." And another as the shaking slowly calms. "I'm not making sense anymore am I?"
Victor rubs Yuri's neck and cheek gently. Pulls him closer, hands drifting across his skin. "I'm following. Tell me everything."
"Takeshi said he would kill you if I came back to see you. That's why I had to say goodbye that night. No one knows I'm here right now. They all think I'm with my assigned mate Jean. If I don't come back they'll know I left. Jean knows. Takeshi will know. They will figure it out and it won't be long before the entire nest knows. And if my family can be so heartless to tell me that they are willing to kill you. Then it's too frightening to think what the rest of my nest will do. That's why," He pulls slightly back. "That's why I have some time to hunt, but then I must leave."
A large wave crashes against the cave's entrance, claiming the natare's attention for a brief second. Victor watches as Yuri watches with frightened eyes at the world away from him, and he suddenly understands. Every smile Yuri makes hides his fear. Every laugh Yuri voices hides his fright. Victor has been pretending everything will work out. That no matter what things will go their way.
Victor can't pretend any longer.
"Yuri." He says his beloved's name.
The natare turns around. His eyes shine with tears. "I must leave and I don't know if I will ever come back."
Victor looks around for a moment. The lump on his throat is heavy and fast.
All he can do is listen as Yuri tries. "I'll try to come back. I promise. I wish I could stay more than the world, but I can't stay if it means you could die. We didn't have much time together, but what little it was I will cherish forever."
Another wave crashes.
Their time is up.
This was goodbye.
Victor reaches Yuri in the pool. Holds his face firmly so there is are no regrets. He feels the tears escape his own eyes. "I would exchange one hundred years of not knowing you for one day of a life with you. Whatever you decide I will be here. If you want to run away until they hunt us down. Or if we have to go back to our own worlds and promise to keep each other in our hearts. Whatever you decide I will follow."
Life or death.
Yuri hands find Victor's hands. Fingers closing together and tightening as he holds on to his aman.
"If a sorrowful life without you means you will live. Then I will choose that a thousand times. As long as we both breathe we can come back here. We can meet again. We can remember each other. But if we're gone— If we're gone we'll have nothing."
Victor closes the space between them. Holds Yuri so tight he knows both will remember this moment no matter what. He doesn't want to let go. He doesn't want to say goodbye. If it were up to him he would run, he would fight. But he can't run in Yuri's world. He can't fight while he's trapped here.
They watch each other for a minute. Watch the small twitches and flickers on each other's faces. Victor takes Yuri's hand and draws circles on each knuckle. Yuri moves. He drags Victor to the center of the pool. Tail curling around Victor's body as mates do. Victor's feet brush against the bottom, the water slowing him slightly as he pulls Yuri close. Hand on hand. Hand on hip. Yuri looks at him with uncertainty for a moment as Victor starts dancing. Leading Yuri along as he moves around the pool. They dance together in the water. Victor's feet shuffling across the bottom of the floor. Yuri swinging his tail against the water.
Victor places lingering kisses all over Yuri's skin as they move. As they follow the music in their hearts and the rhythm of the ocean.
Yuri smiles every time Victor's lips touch his skin. Returning the kisses with some of his own. His lips warm on Victor's palms. Laughing together as if the sorrow has vanished.
At the end of the dance they part.
As Victor finds his life and love again and lets it go.
A large wave crashes against the entrance pushing water into the pool. Victor grabs Yuri as the water shifts them around. Using its lull to bring them together once more.
The natare nuzzles into his arms. "We still have some time. I don't have to go yet. Not yet."
"Then…" Victor softly presses fingers on Yuri's face, tilting his chin up, lips searching and needy. Creating a moment between them. A memory. "For the time we have left stay by my side."
Yuri arches towards the touches and pulls Victor to him slowly. Hand in hand. Palm to palm. Moving together in unison.
The dance is slow this time. Victor memorizes every touch, every movement, every time Yuri's pupils widened as they meet his eyes. He wasn't lying when he said he would exchange a lifetime for this moment. He wouldn't hesitate to exchange the world for one more day with Yuri.
But it didn't matter how much money he had. It didn't matter his influence in the world. As long as he was trapped here he would not even survive. As long as they were both here, they had no future.
Yuri's voice brings him back from his thoughts. Gives him a look that Victor has grown to know well in the last few days. Their mouths meet gently over and over. The natare's warmth breath hovers over Victor's lips as he speaks words that cement the memory forever in Victor's heart. "For the time we have left. Look only at me," before pulling him into a deep kiss and dragging him beneath the surface.
Yuri's heart is in chaos.
His world shivers and shakes.
When Victor kisses him beneath the water it feels like coming home. When Victor brings him close and pushes inside him, it feels like he is whole. He watches the bubbles float to the surface and break, the air leaving his aman's lungs. He takes a deep breath, let's himself fill his body with breath, taking it and giving it to Victor when their mouths meet. The weightlessness of the sea swaddles them as one. Their mouths rarely part, their bodies claiming each other like they've done many times before. And when Victor's teeth find his skin and he feels the warmth fill inside him, Yuri's heart finally calms and accepts the world as it was.
The sun sits almost at the center of the sky.
Yuri is late. His time is already up.
"If a boat comes. I'll leave this in the center of the pool." Victor places the seashell next to him by the barriers edge. His legs soak in the water as Yuri nestles between them. Head resting on Victor's thigh, nodding listlessly at the words that are spoken, his back to the sea beyond.
"I'll remember this place. I'll come back I swear."
Yuri nods.
"So please keep coming back as well."
Yuri nods again.
The moment is heavy. Yuri feels like sinking down in the deep and taking Victor with him. He wants to say no. Convince Victor to wait for him here no matter how long he was gone… but he can't. Deep in his heart he knows that stuck in this place, his human would die. If only he didn't have to return to the nest. If only it weren't for the reunion.
The reunion of maters after the five mating days was to ensure new mated pairs conceived fry. The day the five days end — today — all the maters are relocated to the nursing caves. It's tradition. He can't miss it.
The reunion of maters has always been a secret. Yuri wasn't sure on the details of the tradition. Only that it happened every mating season. He isn't even certain how many days the reunion would last. He wishes he knew. He wishes he could tell Victor exactly how long he would be gone.
Six days. Twenty days. Forty or more...
He imagines coming back too late. He imagines years and years of searching for his aman. Years of waiting and finding an empty island. He'll end up having fry with Jean. Jean is his official mate. Mates are supposed to have fry. Mates that don't have fry… that doesn't happen. It has never happened. Sooner or later he will have to carry Jean's fry, and once he does he will be forbidden to leave the nest. He'll be a parent responsible for his children. He won't be able to come back.
Fingers push gently against his skin.
This will probably be the last time he would be with Victor. The last time he would be able to swim beside him. Touch him and kiss him… These are the last moments before his heart broke.
It hurt terribly, but he knew it was going to end this way. He knew when he decided to escape. He knew whatever time they had was borrowed. That this chance was to create a better ending than the one before. One where they both leave with hope.
He straightens up and starts moving away from the human. He's lingered long enough. They have said their goodbyes already.
Victor's suddenly reaches out and grabs his left hand. Fingers curling between fingers. Creating a final connection between them. He squeezes. "I wanted to tell you something before you left." Yuri tilts his head just enough to meet Victor's eyes. "But I'm afraid if I tell you I really won't see you again."
"Human words?" Yuri wonders, curious.
Victor nods. "Human words. Natare words. They might be the same…" He smiles sadly. "I'll tell you when we see each other again." Victor reaches down and kisses him as they slowly part.
He drinks it all. Specially the warmth as they let go.
"I'll come back quickly." Yuri lies.
"I'll wait here." Victor lies.
Yuri braces for a hard wave that crashes into his back, before turning around and facing the open blue. Don't look back. Don't look back.
Another wave pushes him back towards the cave. He glances back. He can still see Victor in the shade.
"Remember me!" Yuri doesn't lie.
"Even if I live a hundred years!" Victor doesn't either.
Yuri accepts it all and turns around one final time.
The sun centers on the sky as he dives below.
Don't look back. Don't look back.
Inside the cave. Victor cries.
