Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. The rights to those characters and to the show belong to the creators of the show, to CBS, The Sullivan Company and to A&E.
Chapter Twenty- eight
Boston – January 2, 1847
Josef clutched the telegram in his hand as he headed for platform four where the children's train was due any second. After he arrived at the platform, he opened the telegram once more to read it hoping there was something he might have missed the first time.
Josef,
Bringing children to Boston myself. Will explain when I get there.
Anna
No, it was still the same two lines. Why in the world would Anna be traveling with the children to Boston? Michaela and Sully had returned by themselves over the summer. Something didn't feel right to him and he was anxious for their arrival so that his mind could be put at ease. Within minutes the train had pulled into the station and passengers began to disembark. Josef looked along the length of the train for a recognizable face. Near the end of one of the passenger cars, he spotted Michaela just stepping onto the platform. Quickly he made his way to her.
"Mike," Josef called. Michaela looked up at him and then rushed into his outstretched arms hugging him tightly as if she hadn't seen him in months. "Mike, is everything okay?" Josef asked as a slight panic settled in his chest. Yet before Michaela could answer, Josef looked up to see Sully being helped off the train by John. Anna was behind giving orders as to their movements. Josef quickly let go of Michaela.
"Good God, what happened?" he asked noticing Sully was moving stiffly.
"Broken rib," Sully managed to utter between labored breaths. The exertion of moving off the train had nearly worn him out.
"How did you fracture a rib?" Josef asked still dumbfounded at what he was seeing before him.
"All in good time Josef," Anna replied as she eased herself onto the platform. Marjorie was right behind her and just like Michaela she hugged her father as if she had been absent from him for a long time.
"Is someone going to tell me what is going on?" Josef asked again still stunned by everything that was happening.
"Not here we're not," Anna stated in a matter of fact fashion. "Now, come on. Sully needs to get home and rest." Anna started toward the street leading the group in her wake with a slightly stunned Josef bringing up the rear.
The carriage ride was short but to Sully it felt like an eternity as he seemed to be jostled more and more with each passing second. The pain medicine had completely worn off and after the time spent on the boat and then the train from Maryland he was overwhelmed. Another sharp pain shot through his chest as he inhaled a little too deeply. The pain hadn't been this bad since he had first woken up on New Year's Day. Anna had sent John for the doctor right away and had chastised Sully for not telling her about his injury the night before. Sully swore to her that he hadn't known. At first, Anna had thought to keep Sully in Maryland and only send the girls back. Yet she needed to speak to Josef and Elizabeth about Marjorie and so the decision was made to bring Sully back to Boston.
Michaela looked across at Sully who she knew was in a great deal of pain. She wanted to take his pain away but at the same time she wanted her own pain to go away. New Year's Day she had awoken to find that Sully was injured and that a doctor was in with him but still everyone had been vague about how exactly he had come to be injured. She figured out it had something to do with Marjorie but that was about as far as she got. Every time she entered a room, she felt as if conversations were dropped and smiles put on for her benefit. All New Year's Day she had wished to go into Sully and apologize for slapping him the night before but she hadn't and soon the desire had passed as she allowed the anger to regain control.
When they arrived at home, Sully was promptly escorted up to bed where Josef administered more pain medication. Michaela had quickly ascended to her room after greeting her mother and had found when she descended fifteen minutes later that a meeting was going on in the library that she was not privy too. At that point she had gone back upstairs to her room. As she passed Sully's door, her heart quivered within her and she knocked softly. Hearing no answer, she pushed the door open. Sully was asleep, his face turned towards the door. There was no peace upon his face though and she knew immediately that his sleep was drug induced and troubled. Quietly she closed the door and retired to her room to let out the tears that had been building ever since the train station.
After Josef had made sure Sully was resting comfortable, he had insisted that Anna tell him everything that had happened in the few short days since Elizabeth and he had left Maryland. Even though she felt bone tired from traveling, Anna had agreed seeing the look of worry on Josef's face. She had hoped that Elizabeth would have been out for the afternoon and when only Josef had arrived to greet them at the train station she had allowed herself to believe it was true. Now sitting opposite her in the library, Anna was dreading what was to come.
Josef entered the library now and closed the doors behind him anxiously looking at Anna.
"Mother, what happened?"
"This isn't my story to tell. It really is Marjorie's but she asked me to tell you both and I agreed because I know how painful and hard it was for her just to admit it to me." These words brought no comfort to either Josef or Elizabeth and they exchanged nervous glances with each other before turning back to look at Anna.
"The young man, Thomas, who invited us all to the New Years Ball, apparently took a liking to Marjorie."
"I thought he liked Michaela," Elizabeth interjected.
"I'm not sure Thomas is really that discerning when it comes to the girls as I'm sure you will agree when I finish explaining," Anna replied. "At some point in the evening he asked Marjorie to go somewhere private and talk with him."
Again, Elizabeth interrupted, "Please tell me she didn't. I am going to skin that girl alive if she did." Josef looked at his wife imploring her to let Anna finish the story.
"She did," Anna confirmed and Elizabeth gave a small gasp but held her tongue. "Thomas at that point forgot how to act like a gentleman and proceeded to try to take advantage of her. Fortunately for Marjorie, Sully overheard her screams and managed to get to her before things got out of hand."
"What exactly happened before things got out of hand?" Josef demanded.
Anna breathed in deeply before beginning her answer afraid of the reaction that she might receive. "I believe she willingly kissed Thomas once. After that he became aggressive by placing his hands on her chest improperly. He held her down on a desk and began to lift her dress. That is the point at which Sully encountered them."
"Thank God it wasn't any worse than that," Elizabeth said shaking her head. "I've warned Marjorie that boys aren't to be trusted." Anna felt the words rising in her throat but she swallowed them knowing now was not the time to get into a fight with Elizabeth.
"What does all this have to do with Sully's injury?" Josef asked still trying to connect the pieces.
"Sully jumped Thomas to get him off of Marjorie. Thomas shook him off and then punched Sully hard in the abdomen. The doctor believes that either the landing on the floor or the punch could have caused the injuries," Anna finished.
"I guess we are also lucky that Sully wasn't hurt worse," Josef said looking at Elizabeth.
"Michaela doesn't know about any of this," Anna informed them. "She had words with Thomas earlier in the evening and had gone outside to clear her head when all this went on. Though I wasn't sure it was a good idea to keep her in the dark, I respected my agreement with Marjorie to tell no one about what happened besides the two of you."
"I'm sure Marjorie feels quite embarrassed about the whole situation not to mention ashamed and guilty," Josef said this looking at Elizabeth all the while. Anna knew that he had the same fear that she did- that somehow Elizabeth would make this out to be Marjorie's fault.
"I totally agree," Elizabeth said. "I'm sure she needs a woman to talk to about what happened to her. I better go to her." Elizabeth got up and headed for the door.
"She did talk to me Elizabeth." The words slipped out before Anna had a chance to censor herself.
"Oh, of course, I just meant.." Elizabeth fumbled.
"Don't worry. Go talk to her," Anna said waving her out of the room. Elizabeth turned rather red in the face but said nothing else in return.
As Josef entered the bedroom, he looked over at Elizabeth who was changing for bed and humming a little tune. She had been in an excellent mood all day which surprised him especially since Anna was to be their guest for the next couple of days. All through dinner, she had chatted happily with everyone as if today had been the perfect day. This confused Josef. What had been so wonderful about today? They had found out about the attempted rape of Marjorie, Sully's injury and to top it all off Michaela had returned sullen and despondent and had refused to leave her room for dinner.
"What has you in such a good mood?" Josef finally asked as his wife sat at her vanity to brush out her hair.
"Having all the children home I suppose," Elizabeth answered with a smile perched upon her lips.
"Is that all?"
"Well, I must admit even though I hate to think about the events of the New Year's Ball, they seem to have wrought a remarkable change in the children. I can't help but be happy about that."
"I'm not sure I understand," replied Josef now sitting on the edge of the bed, anxious for Elizabeth to explain herself.
"Marjorie is like a changed person. When I went up to talk to her this afternoon, she was pleasant and repentant for her previous actions as far as boys are concerned. We talked for at least an hour. It was like I had my little girl back again."
"I guess that is good. I hate to think about what almost happened to her but I suppose if it will encourage her to be more careful now," Josef drifted off wondering if this line of thinking was really for the best right now.
"Her attitude towards Sully has certainly changed. Did you see them talking during dinner?"
"I did notice," Josef said the same worried expression on his face. "But Michaela..."
Elizabeth interrupted him. "I know Michaela is despondent again but I'm not sure even that is such a bad thing."
"How can you say that?" Josef felt anger rising inside of him.
"Calm down Josef. I don't want to see her depressed but it is only natural. The fight with Sully at Christmas is apparently unresolved. Then Thomas rejects her in favor of Marjorie. I know she doesn't know what happened but she certainly knows something happened and everyone is keeping her in the dark. Those three things together explain her behavior," Elizabeth paused now to give Josef a chance to respond. He said nothing but lay down on the bed, his forehead creased with concern. "Josef, it means that Michaela really did like this Thomas and that even after being rejected by him she didn't run back and make up with Sully."
"Elizabeth," Josef sighed.
"I know you don't agree with me but I can't help but be pleased with Sully and Michaela's separation."
"And what about Sully?"
"I'm not happy he was injured but I must say I am pleased that he is learning to protect his sisters." Josef looked over at Elizabeth as she used this word. "You do realize that with Marjorie feeling friendlier toward Sully that the adoption should precede without a hitch?"
"Possibly," Josef said.
"Possibly? Josef what you have wanted since Sully came to live with us is about to become a reality and all you can say is possibly." Elizabeth turned in her chair to consider him. He seemed lost in thought.
"I still need to ask Sully how he feels about it," Josef finally said.
"Josef, he is a child. How he can he possibly know what is best? He needs our guidance." Josef shrugged his shoulders and climbed out of bed. "Where are you going?" Elizabeth asked.
Away from your insanity Josef thought to himself but he answered, "To get a glass of milk." Then he turned and exited the bedroom.
Boston, January 3, 1847
"Thank you for seeing me on such short notice Mr. Hankins," Anna said smiling across the desk at the lawyer who sat before her.
"I must say I was a little surprised to hear you were in Boston Mrs. Quinn."
"I was escorting my grandchildren home after Christmas," she explained.
"I see," replied the lawyer. "You said the business was urgent. I do hope nothing is wrong."
"No, nothing is wrong but I need your help with some business transactions and discretion is of the utmost importance."
"Our law firm can be trusted, Mrs. Quinn. What type of business transactions?"
"It has come to my attention that a Mr. Thomas Brooks Sr. had incurred heavy debt with the companies I have listed here." Anna slid a sheet of paper across the desk toward Mr. Hankins. Mr. Hankins perused the names. "In addition, I have it on good authority that several banks are about to call in loans on Mr. Brooks. His plantation is one of the largest on the eastern shore of Maryland and I want to own it." Anna came right out with it seeing no reason to beat around the bush.
Mr. Hankins leaned back in his chair and folded his hands together considering what Anna was asking of him. "Mrs. Quinn I have never known you to have an overwhelming interest in acquiring property or a business such as this one."
"You are right, Mr. Hankins. Normally I choose to invest my money in other ways. Do you think what I am proposing is possible?"
Mr. Hankins looked over the list again. "With the right amount of money," he said considering the options before him.
"Mr. Hankins, if you turn the paper over you will see the amount of money I am willing to spend on this venture. Is it possible?"
The lawyer quickly turned the paper over, almost chocking at the amount he saw written there. "I would say that plantation is as good as yours."
"No one is to know that I am the buyer. Is that clear Mr. Hankins?"
"Mrs. Quinn, rest assured your name will be far removed from any proceedings until you wish to reveal yourself."
"Then draw up the forms Mr. Hankins. I will only be in town for two more days and I want the wheels turning as soon as possible."
Two weeks passed in the Quinn household bringing with it a few changes. Sully's injury was healing nicely and it was decided he could return to school if he was careful. Sully was nonplused about this announcement as he had used the days off from school to concentrate on painting a birthday present for Michaela. Even though he was supposed to be resting, he found that if he held his arm a certain way he barely felt any pain as he painted. He missed Michaela terribly and it only intensified when he would hear her footsteps as she passed his door. Everyday he would pray that he might hear those footsteps stop at his door and enter his room. Yet they never did. Essentially he was confined to his room and so it was nearly impossible to go to Michaela. He had tried once, standing outside of her door knocking but she refused him admittance. As the pain in his chest lessened from the injury, he became even more acutely aware of the pain that was growing in his heart.
Marjorie remained pleasant and friendly towards Sully. She even stopped by his room to bring him his homework which she had agreed to pick up for him each day. Often she would stay and talk with him for a few minutes. The secret was still firmly fixed in her mind though she hadn't told anyone about it yet. Michaela had been so distant from Sully that she really thought that maybe the secret wasn't exactly true anymore. Watching Sully struggle with Michaela's banishment of him from her life was difficult. Marjorie had never been particularly concerned with others but for the first time in her life she actually empathized with Sully.
The problem was that any attention that Marjorie gave to Sully only made Michaela angrier. Secretly she felt horrible for slapping him, afraid that she had added to the injury that he had apparently received at the hands of Thomas. Though Michaela couldn't be sure because everyone was still hush-hush about what had occurred while she was absent from the party. Everyday when she arrived home from school, she headed straight to her room only to be coaxed out by Josef at dinner time. She refused to even look at Sully during these meal times and if their eyes met accidentally, she would hastily drop her gaze afraid that he would see past the anger to the hurt that seemed only to get worse instead of better.
Josef tried talking to Michaela to find out exactly what had her so out of sorts but she brushed off each attempt. The only time he saw the old Michaela was on Saturdays when she would go to the hospital with him. Then for a few hours a spark of life would enter her eyes and she would become animated and alive. Yet as soon as they entered the carriage to return home, she crawled back inside of herself to stay hidden for another week. Elizabeth seemed to think that in time she would come around but Josef was becoming more and more worried about her. In desperation, he sought out Rebecca, hoping that she would be able to talk to Michaela.
When Josef had asked Rebecca to talk to Michaela, she had readily agreed. She assured her father that there was nothing to worry about. Elizabeth had explained to Rebecca how Thomas had chosen Marjorie over Michaela at the New Year's Ball. Rebecca was convinced that Thomas was the young man Michaela had referred to during their Thanksgiving conversation, and if that was true, Michaela simply suffered from loss of her first infatuation. Still she hated to see her younger sister suffer and so one afternoon she visited her childhood home to have a talk with Michaela.
Michaela was in her bedroom supposedly doing homework when Rebecca arrived. Her bedroom door was open a crack and Rebecca decided not to knock but simply enter. She had not seen Michaela since they had returned from Maryland and she was a little alarmed at the sight that greeted her. Michaela stood by the window looking out at the backyard. She turned when the door opened, a little startled at first.
"Rebecca," she said with almost no emotion in her voice.
"Michaela," Rebecca greeted her cheerfully going to her and hugging her firmly. "It's good to see you." Rebecca drew back to really look at her. Her features were drawn and Rebecca was sure that Michaela had lost weight since she had last seen her. Josef had been right, her eyes appeared almost lifeless. "Could we talk?" Rebecca asked, afraid of what Michaela's answer would be.
"That would be nice," Michaela agreed and she went and sat on the edge of her bed.
Rebecca joined her there, pleased that Michaela had agreed. "Michaela can you tell me what has you so upset?"
Already the tears were forming in Michaela's eyes. Feeling safe in Rebecca's company she let them fall. Rebecca soothingly rubbed her back encouraging Michaela to lay her head in her lap. Though she wanted Michaela to share what was causing her the hurt, Rebecca waited patiently afraid to press her for information. After a few minutes Michaela willingly began to share, a sense of urgency in her voice.
"It hurts so badly," Michaela cried. "How can it hurt so badly? I just want to make the pain go away but nothing helps. I can't stop thinking about him. I just want to be angry but that doesn't help either."
Rebecca smiled down at the back of Michaela's head as thoughts of her own first love returned to her. "Sweetie, it won't always hurt like this. You just need to give yourself time."
"But I thought he was the one," Michaela chocked out surprising herself at her own admission. Rebecca suppressed a chuckle at her sister's immaturity.
"We often think the first guy we fall for is our dream come true but I doubt they ever are," Rebecca said, her tone light and uplifting.
"But I loved him," Michaela continued to cry, again surprised that she had used those words to refer to Sully.
"No, sweetie, you didn't love him. I'm sure you think you did but well love is so much more than what we ever think when we're younger. You'll see in time that what you felt wasn't really love. It was infatuation."
"What's that?" asked Michaela sitting up and drying her tears.
"It's when we focus on someone so much that nothing else seems to matter. It starts with a look or a touch and then you feel incredibly wonderful every time you see that person or even think about that person. You idealize that person but rarely do they live up to that ideal." Rebecca stopped now and watched her sister who was obviously thinking about everything Rebecca had just said. After a moment, she asked, "He let you down didn't he?"
"Yes," Michaela answered.
"I am so sorry, he hurt you Michaela," Rebecca sympathized. "But I promise in time you'll feel better. And someday you will meet that special person who you will truly love."
"How do you know when it's love?" Michaela asked still trying to sort out her feelings.
"Ah, you aren't asking the easy questions today, are you?" Rebecca smiled at her younger sister. "Love is more than just a feeling. It is a commitment to stand beside that person no matter what. It's not about kisses or touches, though that is part of it. Love is when you look at the other person and see the best in them – the best that they can be. Love is a trust that no matter what life brings your way, you'll not forsake one another," Rebecca stopped here sighing loudly. "Oh, it's so hard to explain Michaela. I don't know that I am doing it justice. I hate to sound cliché but well you just sort of know."
Michaela smiled at her sister. "It's okay. Things are never very easy, are they?"
"No, I guess not," Rebecca agreed. "Do you feel any better?"
"A little," Michaela said willing her statement to be true. Honestly she wasn't sure she really did feel any better but maybe Rebecca was right and she just needed time.
"Why don't we go down and get some cookies and milk?" Rebecca suggested.
"Thanks, Rebecca but I really am not very hungry," said Michaela.
"Michaela you can't stay in your room forever; you have to face Marjorie sometime. I know it hurt your feelings when Thomas chose her over you but she is your sister. Trust me boys will come and go."
Michaela almost laughed at this statement. Is this what everyone in the house thought? She was trying to avoid Marjorie for stealing Thomas. She realized that only Sully knew why she was really upset. And the thought of Sully sent her back into her depression.
Boston - February 12, 1847
Throughout the rest of January, Michaela had really tried to put Rebecca's advice into practice but any thought of Sully was enough to send her off to her room crying again. As February dawned, she decided Rebecca's advice wasn't really working and she set about to work through her feelings in a more logical fashion. She started by looking up the definition of infatuation in the dictionary. It had read "A foolish, unreasoning, or extravagant passion or attraction." Next she had looked up the definition of love. It had read "A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness." After reading those she had sat down and made a list of the ways she thought about Sully. Every time she kept coming back to the last words of the dictionary definition of love – a sense of underlying oneness. Never before had someone so instinctively known her like Sully seemed to. There was still a great deal of hurt and anger about what had occurred over New Year's but Michaela could not convince herself that she had merely been infatuated with Sully. She was positive she loved him. Was it possible that he loved her as well?
No longer did the hurt and anger restrain her but rather the fear of his rejection. Rebecca's conversation with her had served to convince her that what she felt for Sully was more than she even imagined. Was it possible to be so young and feel so much? She knew everyone around her would tell her she was being silly – love is for grown-ups but again the definition came back to her – love is a sense of underlying oneness.
Somehow she needed to get back to Sully but after over a month of ignoring him she wasn't sure how to accomplish this. As her birthday approached she became more desperate and several times at the beginning of February she had actually spoken to him but each episode had been brief. But today was the day that she would make everything all right. As soon as the carriage brought her home from school, she made a beeline for the library where she knew Sully would be doing his homework. Marjorie had been sick that day and had stayed home but that thought was the furthest thing from Michaela's mind. Rushing in the front door, she dropped her books and ran to the library. Without knocking she entered. Sully was seated at Josef's desk and Marjorie had propped herself on top of Josef's desk near Sully. They were talking and laughing. Michaela's heart hurt not because of jealousy but to see that Sully had achieved their relationship with someone else.
Sully was the first to notice her. "Michaela," he said surprised to see her there. "How was school?"
Michaela stared at the two of them and even though her heart was thoroughly resigned to patch things up with Sully, her tongue seemed to have a mind of its own. "Super! And how was your day?" Her tone was biting.
Sully was almost afraid to answer. Michaela had only begun speaking to him a short while ago and he knew their relationship was tentative at best. "It was okay," he said in a small voice glancing at Marjorie.
"And Marjorie how was your day at school? Oh that's right you were sick but you seem to be feeling much better now," Michaela said her eyes shooting fire at her sister whose change in attitude toward Sully had unnerved her. No one spoke for a moment and Sully and Marjorie exchanged another nervous glance. "Don't worry I'll leave the two of you alone!" Michaela yelled slamming the library door behind her. Quickly she took the steps two at a time, racing up to her room to hide behind her door once more.
Just as she started to slam the door, a foot entered her room impeding her. "Go away," she screamed not even bothering to notice who the foot belonged to. Marjorie pushed the door open the rest of the way. "I'm not going away. I have something I want to say to you and I'm going to say it!" Michaela walked over and sat on her bed turning her back to Marjorie. "Look, I don't understand exactly why you are so mad at Sully but don't you think it's time you let it go! For goodness sake Michaela it has been over a month."
"Why do you care? Seems like Sully has taken up just fine with you."
"Michaela, stop being ridiculous!"
"Oh so now I'm being ridiculous. What were you two doing in the library?"
"What do you think we were doing? Kissing? Talking about you? Michaela you are so stupid. I was helping him with his Latin which you used to help him with before you decided to treat him like dirt."
"You don't know anything Marjorie! I have good reason to treat him anyway I want to."
Marjorie wanted to yell at her sister but she didn't. Instead she took a calming breath and walked around to look Michaela in the eye. "Why? Cause he won't tell you what happened to me.
"It's not fun being kept in the dark, everybody knows except for me."
"I didn't want you to know. I asked Sully not to tell anyone and he kept his word."
"It doesn't matter," Michaela sighed turning away again.
"I don't think that's why you're really mad at him anyway. Is it because he kissed Thomas' sister?"
Michaela responded without thinking, "He didn't kiss her, she kissed him!" When the reality of what she had just said hit her she panicked. "I mean.." her mind raced trying to think of something to say.
"I know what you mean. I overheard your fight on New Year's Eve."
"What?" Michaela asked, panic continuing to build in her chest.
"I know," Marjorie said.
"You don't know anything," Michaela returned.
"I do. Thomas told me – I know." Michaela looked at Marjorie, her eyes were wide with fear.
"Are you going to say anything?" Michaela asked.
"Why should I? I mean sure I think it's a little weird but well you've never been what I'd call normal." Michaela frowned at her. "Sully isn't so bad. He really is a good person. He kept my secret even though it caused trouble between you two. I'm going to keep his secret too."
Michaela sat there staring at Marjorie as if she had just grown an extra head. "What happened to my sister? She was here a minute ago."
"Hey, look I'm still my same cruel self. I could have told you this weeks ago and brought your turmoil to an end but I didn't and even now I was having a little fun with you before I admitted I knew." Marjorie gave a little laugh but Michaela still didn't look convinced. "Listen, you are going to have to tell Father and Mother sometime unless it's really over," she looked at Michaela trying to get some sort of comment out of her. Michaela remained quiet and motionless. Marjorie walked over to the door. "Hey, it's not my secret to tell so don't worry. Of course you might want to stay on my good side."
Michaela looked up at Marjorie and shook her head as a small smile formed on her lips. "Thank you," she whispered.
"He's still in the library," Marjorie said as she opened the door and left.
Quickly, Michaela made her way down the stairs praying silently that things would go well. The library door was open when she got there but Sully was not inside. Even though she knew it was irrational, despair overtook her at his absence. On the window seat, Sully had left one of his sketchbooks. Walking over to it, she lightly ran her fingers over the cover. She picked it up and pressed it close to her heart wishing that it could fill the gaping hole that still existed there. Silently the tears began to fall again. She sat down on the window seat and randomly opened the book. The eyes that stared back at her were her own. The picture was her seated sideways on the window seat her back resting on the bookcase, just like she was doing now. A single tear drop fell onto the picture and she hastily tried to wipe it away.
"Don't cry on my picture," Sully said. Michaela looked up. She hadn't even heard him come in.
"Sorry," she said hastily closing the book and placing it back where she had found it. Before she knew what was happening Sully was at her side, running his fingers lightly through her hair.
"Happy Birthday," he whispered.
"My birthday is not for a couple days," Michaela replied.
"I know that but ya just saw your gift."
"What?"
"That picture you were looking at. That was my preliminary sketch. I painted it for ya in oils and your father had it framed."
"Oh, Sully," she exclaimed and turned her head to rest against his stomach as unbidden tears fell again.
"Why are ya cryin'?" Sully asked lightly pressing her closer to him.
"Because I want to forget all about you and the way I feel about you. Rebecca said first love never lasts. That it is just infatuation and that eventually you get over it and move on. But everyday I see you and everyday I miss you more and more. And I feel so empty inside."
"Me too," Sully said weakly.
"You want to forget about me too?" Michaela asked scaring herself in the process.
"No, I feel empty inside," Sully replied.
"Empty because you don't feel that sense of underlying oneness anymore?" Michaela asked remembering the dictionary definition.
"What?" Sully said confused by her question.
Michaela actually let out a small laugh. "I've been reading the dictionary again."
Sully smiled down at her and shook his head. "I think Rebecca's wrong. I know what everyone thinks – we're just kids. Maybe we found each other earlier than most people do and maybe that means we're going to have a harder road to walk but I mean it when I say the way I feel about you ain't gonna change."
Michaela looked up now into Sully's eyes. "How do you feel about me Sully?"
"Like everyday that were apart like this is a wasted day."
"Is that all?" Michaela asked silently willing him to say what she so badly needed to hear.
Sully dropped his hands to his side and stared down at her. He lowered himself down in front of her on the window seat. "No but I'm scared to say the next part."
"Why?"
"Cause ya might laugh at me or ya might turn away," Sully replied.
"Try me," Michaela said smiling weakly.
"I love you," Sully whispered bringing his hand up to push a strand of hair out of her face.
"Oh, Sully," Michaela exclaimed as she buried her head in his shoulder forgetting all the hurt and anger of the past month. She reveled in the warmth of his body for a moment before pulling back to look him in the eyes.
"How do ya feel about me?" Sully asked taking her hands in his.
"Like everyday we're apart is a wasted day."
"Is that all?" Sully asked smiling widely.
"Promise me you won't laugh at me or turn away," she said repeating his words from earlier.
"Promise," Sully agreed.
"I love you," Michaela whispered feeling the hole in her heart closing or possibly not closing but certainly being filled.
"I know we agreed not to kiss and touch," Sully began.
"But we've been apart for over a month," Michaela said. "I think we could make exceptions for special occasions and it is my birthday soon."
"So I gotta wait til your birthday to kiss ya?" Sully asked.
"Let's pretend it's my birthday," Michaela said a crooked grin forming around her mouth.
"But what if someone walks in?" Sully said anxiously looking over at the door.
"Mother is still out. Father is still at work. Harrison or Martha would knock first."
"Marjorie is here," Sully reminded her.
"Well," Michaela said raising her eyebrows at Sully.
"What?"
"She already knows."
"What?" Sully asked as panic took over.
"She overheard our fight and I guess Thomas told her also. Don't worry. She says it's our secret and she won't tell."
"Do we trust her?"
"I guess we have to. Besides I have a feeling she's keeping it because of you."
"Really?"
"Hey are you stalling here?"
"Sorry," Sully smiled. Gently he brought his hand up to cup her cheek. Michaela's eyes were wide open but she gently closed them as he drew closer. Gently he pressed his lips upon hers as he placed a light kiss on her softness. Pulling back he looked at her and felt lost in her eyes. Suddenly her words from earlier seemed to make sense; a sense of underlying oneness – that was exactly what he felt.
Colorado Springs, March 1865
Brian opened his eyes as the sun was just peeking over the horizon feeling the overwhelming need to visit the privy. Quickly, he jumped out of bed, pulling the curtain to the side and headed for the door but the sight he encountered halted him in his tracks. There on Dr. Mike's bed he saw Sully sitting up asleep and Dr. Mike asleep with her head in his lap. This confused him and he started to wake Colleen but he remembered the reason why he had got up and decided to take care of that first.
Sully opened his eyes as the door closed, smiling to himself. "Michaela," he called looking down at her. "Michaela."
"Hmm," she said as she stirred. The heat of Sully's body against hers brought back all that had happened in the past few days and the proceeding night. Quickly she sat up.
"Good morning," she said shyly. "I didn't expect you to still be here."
"I promised you I wouldn't leave until you fell asleep. Looks like I fell asleep too."
"I guess we better get up before one of the children sees us," she said blushing now.
"Too late for that," he responded.
"What?"
"Brian just went outside to use the privy but he saw us before he left." Michaela's blush deepened and she hastily got off the bed. "Michaela, we weren't doin' anything wrong. Just sleepin'."
"I know but it doesn't look right and Brian is so young. He might tell someone how he found us."
"Are ya worryin' about what other people think?" Sully's eyes clouded over as he asked the question.
"Oh Sully," Michaela said feeling bad for making him doubt her. "No, I don't care what anyone thinks. I just don't want the children to think we were being improper."
"It's hard to be improper when you're fully dressed," Sully said grinning at her. Michaela bit her bottom lip and shook her head. Then she turned to start getting breakfast ready.
A minute later, Brian returned to the house. "Why did ya sleep here last night Sully?"
Sully could see Michaela's discomfort clearly written on her face. "Cause Dr. Mike and you all have been goin' through a rough time and I needed to be here."
Colleen popped her face out of the curtain. "Sully?" she asked disoriented by his voice.
"It's me Colleen," Sully answered watching Michaela busy herself with making oatmeal.
"Why are ya here so early?" she asked but before he could answer Matthew walked in the door.
"Sully?" he asked also surprised by his presence.
Sully laughed. "Listen, Dr. Mike and I had a lot of things to discuss last night and we stayed up real late talking."
"Cause ya had that fight?" Brian asked with all the innocence of a six year old.
"Right," Michaela said finally turning towards the groups now huddled around Sully.
"Hope ya all don't mind me bein' here cause I gotta a feeling I'm gonna be here more often," Sully said looking at the three children.
"Why?" Colleen asked.
Sully looked over at Michaela. "Cause me and Michaela are gonna be courting."
Matthew smiled and let out a little laugh. "Fine by me," he said.
Colleen had already stepped to the side to wrap her arms around Michaela. "Fine with me too," she said happily.
"Why ya gonna be courtin'?" Brian asked. "Do ya love Dr. Mike?"
Michaela dropped her eyes refusing to look at Sully, as a fear she hadn't allowed herself to feel began to spread throughout her body. They had come so far last night but they hadn't spoken about love. She held her breath waiting to see what Sully would say.
Sully took a deep breath feeling just as scared as Michaela. Several times last night he had wanted to say those three little words to her but fear of rejection had held him back. Now he screwed up his courage and boldly spoke what he felt deep inside. "Yes, Brian, I love her. I always have."
Michaela looked up at him and smiled as all of her fears were washed away by those simple words.
"And you love Sully?" Brian asked turning towards Michaela.
"Yes, sweetheart. I love Sully," she said her eyes locked with Sully's as she lost herself in the underlying sense of oneness that still connected their hearts.
This is my first fan fiction. Please review and let me know what you think! Thanks for reading.
