Here it is folks, the next chapter!
Again, I am really sorry about the long gap between updates, but thank you all so much for sticking with me and this fanfic. Your support means a lot to me, and without it I wouldn't have the motivation to keep writing it to the best of my ability.
A huge thank you as always to all of the people who continue to read this, add it to alerts, favourites, leave reviews etc, and in particular a massive, massive thank you to queen cullen0527 for her continued support.
Please continue to leave me reviews or PM me with your thoughts or with any suggestions regarding the direction of the story. I also just wanted to respond to a couple of reviewers from last time:
1. At the end of the last chapter, Edward is saying to Bella how they don't want to get carried away in terms of sex and Bella said "Don't worry, I'm on the pill. We should be fine in terms of protection." I don't think I made this clear enough, leading to some people misunderstanding, but it was meant as a joke; since Bella is already pregnant there is no chance of sex leading to her getting pregnant for the next few months. Sorry, I didn't make it clear enough it was a joke, but I hope I cleared that up.
2. A guest reviewer over the last week left me some reviews regarding some of the earlier chapters and, understandably, felt that the story is quite controversial, to say in the least. I just want to say that I do not feel that ANY kind of abuse is ever acceptable, and I did not write this story as a way to promote abuse. The reason I wrote this story the way I did is because things like this do happen in real life, and we need to be aware of them so that we can identify and help people who may be in trouble. I would never wish for ANYONE to face the kind of abuse that Bella has seen here, and I feel that by opening our eyes a little bit can help save other women and men from sometimes life-threatening situations. I apologise from the bottom of my heart if I have offended anyone with this story, it was truly not my intention.
The usual warning applies for language and some adult content.
Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns the characters, this plot is mine though!
Enough talking by me, let's get on with it! Enjoy!
EPOV
"That looks as if it's healed nicely," the doctor said, examining my shoulder. "Can you move it properly?"
"It still twinges a little if I move too fast, but on the whole it's okay," I said, moving my shoulder to demonstrate. "I thought that dislocated shoulders took ages to heal? It's only been five weeks."
"Anywhere between three and twelve weeks," he explained. "So five weeks is not uncommon, it's quite slow when you compare it to other people. Luckily, yours wasn't too bad and so was able to heal up on its own. You can get rid of the sling now and carry on as normal."
"Thank god," I muttered. I hated having to depend on Bella for anything that required two arms; I'm a grown man, I should be able to do it for myself.
"It's a shame," Bella said. "I quite liked it when you were walking around with the sling and all colours of the rainbow on your face. You looked tough."
I snorted. "I didn't feel tough. Now I'm finally completely back to normal."
My shoulder was the last thing to heal from my run-in with those stupid kids. My ribs had sorted themselves out at some point, without me even noticing, and my face had long ago gone back to its normal colouring.
"Let's go," I said to Bella. "Give me the keys, I can drive."
"I don't think so," she said, holding her purse close to her chest. "I quite like your car, there's no way I'm giving it back to you."
I just stared.
"I never gave it to you in the first place," I grumbled, following her out of the hospital room and to the elevator. "You can't steal my car."
"It's still your car," Bella beamed. "You're just not allowed to drive it."
I grabbed hold of her waist and pulled her into my side, nuzzling my face into her neck.
"Is that so Miss Swan?" I said, whispering the words into her ear.
She pulled me suddenly to the side of the corridor and pulled my head down, before planting a huge kiss on my lips.
I responded enthusiastically, pulling her against me and moaning against her mouth as her tongue fought with mine.
"Edward?" she asked breathlessly, as I kissed her neck.
"Yes?" I managed to groan.
"Can I have something?" she asked, pulling away for a second and looking up at me from beneath her lashes.
"I'll give you the world," I promised, eager to get back to kissing.
"Good!" she grinned, and slid out from between me and the wall. "I'll drive."
"Fuck," I said, hitting my head against the wall before following her. "Miss Swan, you will be the death of me."
She giggled sweetly and grabbed my hand in hers. I tried in vain to try and get her to let me drive back, but she wouldn't. And so I gave in, just this once, and let her drive us back.
"I've had a few emails about the bakery," Bella said, merging easily into the heavy traffic. She was a better driver than I'd thought she would be.
A few weeks ago, Bella had spoken to her staff and told them of her decision to close the bakery, and spoke to a realtor about putting the building up for sale. The details of the building were up on their website the very next day, and apparently there had been a lot of interest. The bakery was going to officially close in three weeks time, and Bella wanted to have some interested buyers by then, if not an offer on it.
"The realtors think that they will be able to close a deal over the next few days. They're just waiting for the interested parties to stop outbidding each other," she said.
"That's great," I said. "The quicker it's sold, the quicker you can put that phase of your life behind you."
"Exactly," she said, stopping at a set of lights and turning to face me. "I'm going to miss it, and everyone who works with me. It's such a lovely place, and throughout the 'marriage'", she said with a twisted expression, "it was my place. James had no input except buying the building, and I liked having a place that was mine. But since he bought the building, he still has a link with the bakery, and I don't want my business to be associated with him. I've promised my staff that I'll contact them the second I think about opening a new bakery, which hopefully will be ten times better than this one."
We began moving again. "How much are the buyers offering?" I asked.
"Quite a lot," she said. "I don't know the exact figures, but I've been told that they're offering at least thrice what James paid. Obviously prices have gone up considerably since James bought it, and it's very close to Central Park, so it will sell for quite a high price. I've told the agents that however much they get for it, I just want a small percent of the profit. The rest can go to a domestic abuse charity or something."
"Bella, you're entitled to that money," I said. "You're the one who worked at the bakery and turned it into a success."
"I know, but I don't want to feel like I'm living off James' money again," she said. "I'm going to give my staff a portion of it as redundancy. I haven't settled on how much I want yet though."
"Ultimately it's your decision to make," I said. "But you're going to need a start up if you decide to open another bakery, and you want to make sure you have enough."
"I was going to stay at home with the baby for a while," she said. "I don't want to jump into something straight away, not with such a young child to the point where I can't spend any time with the baby. So I just need enough to see me over the next year to eighteen months. Two years maximum. I just need to cover the pitiful amount of rent you're charging me and groceries, and how much is that? Hardly anything."
The week after those kids beat the shit out of me, Bella told me that she wanted to start pitching in financially. She said that she was beginning to feel like she was taking advantage by paying no rent, no utilities, eating food that I was paying for. It was utter nonsense, and initially I outright refused. She kept on at me for a few days about it, and I just began to ignore it whenever she brought it up, thinking that she would get bored.
It wasn't until she stopped talking to me that I realised how passionate she was about it.
Four Weeks Earlier
"Bella," I pleaded. "Please talk to me."
She didn't even look up from her magazine.
I began kissing her neck.
She simply pushed me away and carried on reading.
"I can't take your money," I said. "Especially since you're not working right now. I would still be paying for all this if it were just I here; it's nice that you're here to share it with me. I don't expect any money from you."
She sniffed and turned the page.
"Bella, I don't understand the issue, help me out here," I pleaded.
She finally closed the magazine. "Edward, I don't want to be a freeloader. I want to feel like I have some sense of independence, even if it's just being a normal roommate and contributing some money towards facilities that I use. It's not fair when you're paying for everything here, and there's just one Cullen but two Swans living here."
"Bella, you can't use mini-Swan as an excuse, he hasn't been born yet," I snorted. "Besides, I thought you were pretty certain that you're carrying a Cullen."
"Please let me help," she said. "I know you don't need me to, but I need to. For myself."
One look at her face, which was twisted into a sad expression, and I was a goner.
"I suppose you could help with the groceries," I grumbled. "But we'll split it, fifty-fifty."
"Only if we split the rent as well, fifty-fifty," she said.
"I'm not taking that much off you," I said firmly. "Fine, all of the groceries, and no rent."
"But rent costs way more than groceries!" she protested. "I'll pay for the gas in the car."
"Look," I said, my patience wearing thin. "You can pay for the groceries, and a small fraction of the rent. That is it."
There was a small pause.
"How much rent?"
"Twenty percent."
"Forty."
"Twenty-five."
"Thirty."
I thought about it for a minute, trying to work out how much this would be in my head. "Fine."
I was almost happy about it when I saw the smile spread across her face. "Thank you!" she squealed, jumping into my lap and kissing me passionately. She was leaning into my bad shoulder, but I couldn't bring myself to care as I kissed her back.
"But don't think I'm going to start giving in to everything you ask for," I warned.
"Hey Edward," Bella said, pulling me back to the present. "Have you thought about the nursery yet? Lauren is what, thirty-something weeks now?"
"Thirty-four," I said automatically.
"She could give birth any day now, we need to start getting the stuff in," Bella said.
"I know, that goddamn pixie keeps texting me about it," I said. "I was waiting for my shoulder to heal up before I started looking properly at any furniture. I don't know what to do though. You should decide on it. This sort of thing is a woman's job anyway, I haven't got a clue, and this nursery will be used by both of our children."
"Are you sure?" she asked, but a grin was beginning to show on her face.
"Sure," I said. I honestly wasn't too bothered about the nursery; it wasn't as if the kids would remember it. "Just don't make it pink. I don't think your son would appreciate that."
She laughed. "Luckily, I didn't want pink. I was thinking green. We don't know the sex of your baby, and green is a great unisex colour. Which room is going to be the nursery?"
"Well we tend to sleep in the same bed anyway," I said, throwing a wink at Bella. "So I was thinking that you could move into my bedroom and make yours the nursery. Or I could move into your room."
She nodded, pulling into the parking lot for our building. "That sounds good. I'll move all of my stuff into your room. Your room has that amazing, huge window along the whole wall, it would be wasted on the kids."
I snickered. "Look at you, depriving our kids of the best room."
"I'm sure they won't mind," she said, patting her belly and parking the car. She switched off the ignition and we sat in silence for a moment.
"I just thought," Bella said, a smirk on her face that I wasn't sure I liked. "You're a slut!"
"What? How did you figure that one out?" I said in shock.
"You're having two babies with two different women," she laughed.
"Oh. That," I said. "Trust me, I've had this conversation with my family, I'm not having it with you as well. We won't have anywhere to put the bed that's in your room," I said, trying to change the subject. "We'll have to sell it. Or I'll see if I can put it in my parent's storage unit."
She nodded.
"Shall we go to the store and pick out paint?" I asked, not quite ready to head up to the apartment and do nothing.
"Absolutely," she said, and before I knew it the car was back out of the space. She drove us to the nearest Benjamin Moore store, and made a beeline for the greens.
Bella was instantly drawn to a soft, soothing pale green colour. It was fresh and spring-like but without being too bright. "Sounds of Nature" seemed to be the shade that Bella wanted, and it really was a beautiful green, almost a sage green but much better, a bit brighter. The nursery was going to look fantastic with Bella co-ordinating it.
"Are you sure this is the one you want?" I said, picking up a few cans.
She just glared at me and picked up a can as well. "What's wrong with it?"
"Nothing," I said hastily. "Just double checking."
Bella tried valiantly to pay for the paint, but I managed to hand over my card to the amused assistant first.
As soon as we got home, I called Emmett and Jasper over for "a drink", insisting that Emmett drive over in his truck, trying to ignore the snickering from my pregnant roommate.
Poor Emmett had even brought beer with him.
"No," he said. "I am not helping with the nursery, you said to come over for a drink."
"Emmett, why would I call you at four in the afternoon for a drink? It's a little early don't you think?" I said. "We need to move the furniture out. It's about time I converted this room into a nursery."
"Where's Bella going to sleep?" he asked slyly.
"In my room" I said defiantly, challenging him to take the piss. Luckily for him, he had more sense than that. "Bella is clearing out the wardrobe at the moment, so we should start by moving out the bed. Unfortunately for you boys, I still can't do any heavy lifting." A little white lie never hurt anybody. Nor did the sling that I had put back on temporarily, to help my case. "So you guys can do it, and I will supervise."
"What are you doing with the bed?" Jasper asked.
"I was going to put it in Mom and Dad's storage unit until I can sell it," I said.
"I'll buy it off you," he said.
"What happened to yours?" I asked stupidly.
"It broke."
Emmett and I stared at him for a moment. Emmett clapped him on the shoulder. "I didn't know you had it in you Whitlock."
"Fuck's sake guys, that's my sister," I groaned. "But sure, you can have it."
I felt bad that I wouldn't be doing much else, so I took the mattress off of the bed and stood it up against the wall and stood by to watch, as Emmett and Jasper carried it out of the apartment. They managed to load it into Emmett's truck without any major drama.
Bella had long since finished moving her stuff into my room, and was trying (unsuccessfully) to hide her laughter as the very manly Emmett complained of a broken nail.
"We're going to go drop the bed off at mine and then carry on here," Jasper said. "I want to dump mine at the junkyard before it gets dark."
"We should make them dinner as a thank you," Bella said as they left.
"Or," I said, grabbing her hand and pulling her into me. "We could use their absence more wisely."
She giggled, burying her face in my chest. "What did you have in mind?"
At least that's what I think she said; it was a little muffled.
I threaded my fingers through her silky hair, breathing in the smell of it.
"Edward Cullen, did you just sniff me?" she laughed. Her laugh was really beautiful, and I wanted to make her laugh all the time. Bella needed laughter; she had seen too much sadness, and unfortunately, a fair bit of it was because of me.
"You bet I did," I said. "You smell amazing."
She laughed some more, and I just couldn't help myself. I needed to feel her.
I took her laughing lips in mine and held them in a slow, searing kiss. She moaned, and this encouraged me to deepen the kiss.
Over the past few weeks we had done a lot of kissing but not much else, and I was aching for that to change. My skin was drying out from the cold showers I was having to take. Right now, I could feel my cock coming to life as I grazed my hand lightly along her side, brushing along her breast.
Fuck, that was good.
I was like a virginal boy, getting hard because of a bit of over-the-clothes side-boob action.
I stopped myself there, putting my hands back at the small of her back. I didn't want to push her until she was ready; the last time she had had sex had been with James and he had pretty much raped her. I didn't know how this had affected her psychologically, and so wouldn't do anything more than kissing unless I was sure she was ready.
And it seemed that she was, attacking my lips hungrily and holding onto my shoulders she pulled herself up onto her tiptoes, pressing hard against my erection.
We both moaned shamelessly at the contact, and she began unbuttoning my shirt, tracing over the planes of my chest. I grabbed her hands and placed them back on my shoulders, buttoning my shirt back up.
She broke the kiss. "Why are you doing that? I like it better open." She pouted at me, and I almost gave in to her indirect request.
"We need to decide what else they're moving," I said.
"But you said to use their absence wisely," she said adorably, her lips pink and slightly swollen up, and her hair mussed up from my hands.
" I know," I groaned, leaning my forehead against hers. "But later they'll be absent for the whole night, they could come back at any minute now. Let's wait."
She thought about this for a minute, before turning away and going into her old room. I adjusted my pants and followed her.
"I think that everything else can stay," she said. "We need a wardrobe for the kids stuff. The guys have taken the bedside tables already."
"What?" I said, looking around the room as if the guys had just hidden them. "Why? I needed those!"
"For what?" she asked sternly, hands on her hips. She reminded me of my mother in that moment. "You have some in your room, and the kids don't need them. They matched the bed, so Jasper said he would have them."
"Fine," I grumbled. "That fucker can pay me for those."
Bella rolled her eyes at me.
"Why will they need a wardrobe?" I said. "There's a closet in here."
"Where?" she asked, looking around for the door.
"Behind the wardrobe."
"If there is a closet, then why did you put a wardrobe in here in the first place?"
"I didn't. The old tenants left it here."
Bella gave me the stink-eye. "You mean I've been keeping my clothes in some trash that the other people didn't even want?"
"I thought Alice would have told you," I shrugged innocently.
"Fine the wardrobe can go. What about the drawers, did the old people leave those too?" she said sarcastically, and I nodded, too scared to speak.
She swore under her breath, probably cursing Alice for not telling her. I didn't get the big deal about keeping your clothes in someone else's wardrobe, but females are funny about this sort of stuff.
"Dressing table?" she didn't event wait for my answer. "How do you feel about emptying the room altogether?"
"Great idea!" I said. "It can all go to the junkyard."
The next twenty-four hours were hell for Jasper and Emmett, as they lugged all of our furniture down the stairs of the building, into the truck and drove it to the junkyard, but finally the room was empty and ready to be painted.
"Edward," Bella whined. "Let me paint."
"No," I said firmly. "I read online that paint fumes can be harmful for an unborn baby. You're not painting."
She began pouting at me, as I poured paint into a tray.
"Still no."
She stuck her bottom lip out further.
"You can pout as much as you want, you are not painting. Why don't you shop around online and pick out some furniture?"
"Just because I'm pregnant," she muttered as she walked past me. I'm sure that it was an accident when her elbow made contact with my stomach. Rather painfully.
"Remind me later to give Lauren a call. I don't know whether she is still going to induce labour early, and I need to find out," I called.
Bella stuck her middle finger up at me in response.
After the first coat of paint was up, I phoned Lauren. "Thanks for reminding me Bella," I said sarcastically. I chose to ignore her unladylike reply.
"Hi Edward," she said, sounding congested.
"Hey Lauren, how are you?"
"Fucking fantastic," she said sarcastically. "Oliver broke up with me."
"Oliver?" I said dumbly.
"The one who turned up at your place," she said impatiently. Oh...him.
"I'm sorry," I said, not quite knowing what you were supposed to say to someone following a breakup.
"Yeah, right, like you're interested in my life," she said rudely. "What do you want?"
I suddenly felt very uncomfortable. The whole reason she was going to induce birth early was so that she and Oliver could go away together on holiday. If he was no longer on the scene, did that mean that the holiday was off?
"I was just wondering about the baby," I said. "How is he?"
"She."
"It's a girl?" I said, a smile breaking out over my face. "I didn't know you knew."
"I don't. I'm hoping."
"Oh." I was a tad confused. "I don't mind either way, as long as the baby is healthy."
"I've been thinking," she started. This couldn't be good. "It's been a week since we broke up, and I've realised how lonely it is being on your own. And then I was thinking about this baby."
I really didn't like where this was heading.
"I would like joint custody of the baby. I know you are adopting it, but I want visiting rights. I'm going to need something to fill my time, and having a child at the weekends will be just the thing." I had never known Lauren to sound this enthusiastic about anything.
"Lauren," I said, as evenly as I could. "You said to me that you didn't want anything to do with this baby. You can't keep changing your mind like this! No, all of the paperwork is filled out, you are not having anything to do with this baby when it enters the world."
"Look Edward," she snarled. "This baby is growing inside of me. I can do whatever I damn well please! I could, if I wanted to, jump on a plane right now to somewhere halfway across the world with this child and there is nothing you could do about it."
"Are you at home?" I asked. She said she was. "I'm coming over, we're not having this conversation over the phone."
"Is everything okay?" Bella asked, as I grabbed my keys and slipped on my shoes.
"Lauren wants joint custody of the baby. She broke up with her boyfriend and needs something to fill her fucking time with," I said angrily. "I'm going over there."
I pounded at Lauren's door for a full three minutes before she answered. "Jesus Edward, I was on the toilet, you don't have to be such an ass about this."
"I'm the one being an ass?" I laughed. "That's rich! We have a signed agreement about this baby, we signed it months ago. You said to me you didn't want this baby. Yet the minute your boyfriend leaves you, you suddenly decide that this baby is going to be your latest project!"
"I didn't think that I would be this attached to the baby," she said. "I didn't think that I wanted it!"
"Really? How about you go back to that frame of mind? How are you going to handle a baby? You can't even look after yourself properly! By the looks of it, you're barely coping since he left you!" I motioned with arm at the dirty clothes scattered everything, along with various plates and food packets littering the floor. "You want to raise a baby in this?"
"Hey!" she yelled, in my face. "If you think you can do this, then I definitely can! What makes you think that you are such a shining specimen of a human? Huh? Who gave you the right to swan around and tell every fucking person on this planet how they should and shouldn't be living? How about you get your head out of your ass and stop thinking that Mr. Edward Cullen is the best damned thing to happen to the world!"
I was a tiny bit taken aback by this. Is that how people saw me?
"How dare you come into my home, insult me, my house and my abilities as a mother!"
There was no stopping her now, she was on a roll.
"I am going to get joint custody of this- ooh!" she stopped for a minute. "Of this baby and- shit!"
"Are you okay?" I asked, out of politeness rather than genuine concern.
"Do I fucking look okay!" she screamed, an awful shrill noise. I'm surprised her windows didn't crack. "I think my water broke!" I just stared at her, shocked, my mouth open. Sure enough, her pants were wet. "Are you going to take me to the hospital or not!"
I snapped into action and helped how down the stairs and into my car.
"It's too soon," I said, reversing out of the space as quickly as I could. "It still has six weeks!"
"No shit Sherlock," Lauren yelled. "It's inside me, I fucking know how long it needs!"
I rang Bella, praying that I wouldn't get pulled over for using my cell. "Bella, Lauren's gone into labour, I need you to call my parents. Baby Cullen is on its way."
"Okay," she said. "Do you want me to come over to the hospital too?"
It didn't hit me until just then how unprepared I was to be a father; until now I had thought that being a father would be okay. I just had to feed my kid, wash it and make sure I didn't leave it anywhere, I knew all that. But until that moment, it hadn't felt real, it had felt as though I was just dreaming and I would wake up and someone else would be the father.
"Edward?" she prompted, sounding hesitant. "It's okay if you don't, I completely understand, this is a time for family-"
"Err, yeah," I said, cutting her off. "I need you. And if I ever hear you refer to yourself as not a part of my family again, there will be hell to pay."
I needed someone to help me sort this out in my head, and I couldn't think of anyone I wanted with me more than Bella, when my child came.
Lauren and I didn't talk on the way to hospital, and the atmosphere was tense, broken only by Lauren's grunts.
Fortunately for me, at the hospital some responsible adults gathered around Lauren and took over. Before you could say 'baby', she was in a hospital gown, a hospital bed and some nurse was feeling her stomach.
"Will the baby be okay?" I asked anxiously. "It's a bit early."
"Don't worry Mr Cullen," she said calmly. "We've delivered healthy babies earlier than this before. Babies only come out when they're ready, and not a moment before."
Wow. That was the biggest load of bullshit I'd ever heard- where did this chick get off?
Bitch.
Luckily, Bella distracted me with a text, or I'm sure I would have insulted the nurse.
I quickly texted her the floor and room number, and ten minutes later Bella came in.
"Hey," she said, giving me a hug. I breathed in her wonderful floral, sweet smell and was instantly calmed. "Hey Lauren," she said, walking over and hugging her too. Lauren looked uncomfortable but not displeased as she hugged back. I was hit with a huge swell of pride for Bella.
The world had pretty much pissed on her, but she was such a caring, genuine person. She had overcome so much and could see the good in everyone.
"I brought you some ice chips," she said, holding out a cup to a surprised looking Lauren. "Did you want me to call someone? Have you got a relative or friend you want here with you?"
Shit, I hadn't even thought that Lauren might want someone here to support her.
Lauren coughed. "Err, no. No thanks. My parents live across the country, and I don't really want any of my friends here."
Bella just smiled and nodded. "Never mind, we'll give you plenty of support. Edward, I need to talk to you," Bella said, and I followed her out of the room. "Your parents are on their way, but it might take them some time to get here. They were out of town, Carlisle had a conference today, but they should be here within the next couple of hours. I've phoned Rosalie, Alice and the guys, they said to phone them when stuff starts to get, and I quote, "exciting" and they are going to come over then. They thought that there would be too many people filling up the waiting room all day."
I nodded dumbly, glad that Bella was on the ball today.
"What did she say?" Bella said. "Does she still want the baby?"
I nodded again. "We had an argument, I think that's why she's gone into labour. It was the stress."
"Well, there isn't anything to do about that now," she said briskly. "We need to help her realise that she doesn't want this baby as much as she thinks she does. She wants the baby for all the wrong reasons, she just can't see it yet."
"What?" I said. "We can't do that!"
"Trust me," Bella said and marched back into the room. She sat down on the seat next to the bed and went straight for the kill. "So Lauren, Edward said you were thinking about custody?"
I rolled my eyes at little-miss-subtlety.
Lauren nodded. "I need something to fill my time with, and people are always saying how satisfying it is bringing up a child. I have a child right here, so why not?"
"Well it is satisfying," Bella admitted. "But it is so exhausting! Edward, have you seen that woman down the grocery store?"
I had no idea who this woman was, but I nodded anyway.
"So there's this woman at the store right," Bella said, putting on this bitchy-high-school-girl tone of voice. I could see Lauren leaning in and a glint in her eye; she never could resist a good bitch session, whether or not she knew the person who was being slated. "She has three little boys, they're like five, three and just under one. She looks so tired all of the time, and she has bags under her eyes and her boobs are beginning to sag, even though she's barely thirty." Bella said this last bit as an exaggerated whisper.
Lauren looked down at her own silicon boobs with a worried expression on her face. She probably paid a lot of money for those.
"She's a single mom, and those boys run rings around her. Everyday she'll be begging one of the sales assistants to babysit her kids at the weekend so that she can go out and get drunk, and probably laid, but no one ever wants to. People are just so busy, it's difficult to find babysitters, especially here in the city."
I almost felt bad for the mother of my child, who was pretty much being tortured by now, but someone had to tell her the cold, hard truth about motherhood.
Bella continued. "I asked her once what the hardest part was of being a single mother, and she said not being able to drink when you want. I mean, if you're looking after a little kid, you just can't have a glass of wine with dinner, or a beer in front of the TV, and you can hardly ever go out. I mean no alcohol, or going out in the evenings for dinner or to a bar? That is a big sacrifice to make. And Friday and Saturday nights are the best for pulling at bars, guys are out looking to release tension after work."
"Yeah," Lauren mumbled, a reminiscent smile on her face. Urghh.
"Anyway," Bella laughed. "I'm sure you don't want to be thinking about all that while you're giving birth."
"Edward," Lauren said suddenly. "You were right, it's unfair of me to consider this baby a project. What I really need to do is get myself back in shape, and then get myself back out there."
"Out where?" I said dumbly.
"In bars. I'm not cut out to be a mother. This baby will ruin my social life, why should I have to give up my lifestyle? And why deny those hardworking guys who need me at the end of the week? I can't do that to them."
And there's the Lauren we all know and love.
The next few hours were spent listening to Lauren happily plan all the things, and people, she would do once she lost the baby weight, punctuated by increasingly frequent contractions.
"Not long now," the cheery nurse said. "You're just over half way there, about four and a half centimetres to go."
My leg was bouncing up and down, and I was having a hard time controlling my nerves. In a few short hours I would be a father, and I wasn't so sure that I was ready.
Bella put her hand comfortingly on my knee and grabbed hold of my hand. "Do you need a minute? Maybe you should go for a walk, clear your head."
I shook my head. "I'm fine."
"Edward," she said firmly, pulling my face round to face her. "GO. I'm sure nothing will happen in ten minutes, and if it does, I'll call you straight away. Find the shop and get Lauren some magazines or something."
I nodded dumbly. "Call me the minute something happens."
I hadn't realised how much I needed to get out of the room until I was stood outside, the strong wind biting at my skin. I leant against the cool wall of the hospital and let out a deep breath, watching my breath swirl in the cold air.
The baby was on its way early, and I didn't even have a nursery ready for it. I didn't have any baby clothes at home, any diapers, anything at all that made our apartment ready to be a home for a newborn baby.
It seemed that fate was pulling a prank on me: as soon as we begin organising the nursery, the baby turns up. Why hadn't I sorted the nursery out earlier?
I sighed and ran a hand roughly across my face, feeling it catch on the stubble on my chin. I pulled out my phone.
"Edward!" Alice screeched at me, as I held the phone a full foot away from my ear. "How are you? Did stuff get interesting yet?"
"Not yet Alice, calm down," I said tiredly. "I need you to do me a favour. I haven't got any diapers or formula or anything at home, could you pick me some up please? Are you with Jasper?" She said she was. "Great. Can you get me a car seat from somewhere as well, take Jasper with you and get him to pick out a good safe one. I'll pay you guys when I see you-"
Just then I heard a huge crash, followed by several people cursing at once.
"What's going on?" I asked, confused.
"Fucking Emmett," she said. "He knocked over my coffee table. Emmett, fuck's sake! What the hell are you doing?"
"Shut the fuck up pixie," I heard him groan. "Pretty sure I just broke my damned leg on that, excuse me for being a smidgen more concerned about my leg than the fucking furniture!"
"Okay Edward, we'll head out now," Alice said, apparently not thinking Emmett's comment worthy of a reply. "All four of us are at mine, we'll go together and get the stuff."
"Fine, but drive here separately, tell Em and Rosalie you'll meet them at the hospital and then go get the stuff. I don't want Emmett anywhere near you when you get the car seat, knowing him he'll pick out something stupid and dangerous, and you'll get talked into it. Get Jasper to choose it." I trusted Jasper the most out of all those fuckers.
"Trust me, you couldn't have picked anyone better for this job," Alice said. "I love shopping!" I rolled my eyes. She was probably jumping around the room in joy.
"Don't buy too much," I said. "I just need the basics, I want to do the main shopping myself."
"See Edward, this is why we always tell you not to leave things to the last minute."
"Shut up."
"Love you too," she trilled, hanging up.
I stood for one more minute before deciding to head back in. I picked up a selection of magazines for Lauren at the hospital shop, which she all but snatched out of my hands as soon as I entered the room.
"Has the nurse been in again?" I asked.
Bella shook her head. Lauren was so absorbed in Cosmo I doubt she'd heard me.
I leaned my head on Bella's shoulder, and she began to run her hands through my hair. "Are you okay?"
I nodded, pressing a kiss to her neck. "Just overwhelmed. How am I supposed to be a father, I don't know anything about babies."
"That's understandable, you're a first time father. I'd be worried if you didn't feel the gravity of the situation. The fact that you're already worrying about being a good father to your child, who isn't even here yet, shows that you'll be a great Dad. I have faith in you," she said, and I could hear the smile in her voice.
I sat up and turned to her, feeling as if a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Her words were just what I needed to hear. I might not be a perfect father, but I would damn well die trying to be one. Unless I killed myself first for turning into such a cheesy bastard.
"Thank you." I pressed a gentle kiss on her lips and grabbed both of her hands in mine.
She stayed by my side the whole time, and when the time came, she grabbed hold of one of Lauren's hand and encouraged her to keep pushing and reassuring her that yes, her lady parts would go back to normal.
She was there for both of us, calming us both down in the way only Bella could.
My parents and friends were all anxiously pacing the waiting room, but she was the only one I wanted by my side. As far as I was concerned this was my child's real mother.
She looked so beautiful, her hair pulled back in a loose bun, with little tendrils escaping around her face, smiling that radiant smile of hers and helping a woman she barely knew.
I knew she thought that I had done a lot for her, but really she had changed my life. Before she had stumbled into my life I had led a very lonely existence. I lived alone, rarely ate home-cooked meals and found little to be truly happy about throughout my day.
I realised now that what I used to think was being happy, was nothing compared to the sheer joy I felt every time I laughed at one of her jokes, or ate one of her meals, or woke up next to her. Everything seemed a thousand times more colourful when she was at my side, and a million times more wonderful.
She had embraced the idea of my child, from another woman, so readily and accepted me and all my flaws. I had fucked up so many times, and still she took me back without any grudges.
The realisation almost knocked all the breath from my body; I loved her.
I loved Bella Swan.
She was it for me, and now that I had her, I couldn't imagine my life without her in it.
"What are you grinning about?" Bella asked. She looked in pain as Lauren tightly gripped her hand, but she never once complained.
"Nothing," I said. Bella raised an eyebrow.
"Then get your ass over here. Your baby is being born and you're dawdling by the window, grab Lauren's other hand!" She looked closely at me for a second. "You look like someone wired you up to a car battery. Are you sure you're okay?"
Lauren laughed out loud. "Do you mean his hair? It's always like that."
"No," Bella said slowly. "He looks a bit manic. Like he's going to go and do something psychotic after this. Maybe you should go for a bit..."
"I'm fine," I beamed, grabbing Lauren's hand, slippery with sweat, helping her through every contraction, coaxing my baby out of her womb, all with the realisation that I loved the beautiful woman sitting opposite me.
And at 3.21 am, after a gruelling eleven and a half hours, my beautiful child entered the world.
"Daddy? Do you want to cut the cord?" One of the nurses beamed over at me.
Blinking back tears, I took the scissors from her and broke the one final physical link between Lauren and me. The nurse quickly bundled him up in a towel, and although the baby was all gross and covered in gunk, I took it from her quickly, not wanting to waste a second before meeting my wonderful child.
My son: Blake Masen Cullen.
"Hi Blake," I said, rocking him gently. "I'm your dad."
Everything in the world seemed to have stopped: it was only me and Blake, this amazing mixture of me and Lauren contained in a six pound, four ounce body. His eyes were still closed, and I longed to see what colour they were. His hair was already thick and a dark brown. It looked soft, but I was wary to touch it since he hadn't been cleaned up properly yet.
I felt a warm hand on my back, and Bella suddenly appeared at my side.
"He's beautiful," she whispered, grabbing hold of his tiny hand. "He looks just like you."
"He does?" I asked, my heart swelling with happiness.
"Yeah, of course he does. He has your nose, and his face shape is exactly like yours. Even his lips have the same curve as yours, he's identical to you," Bella smiled, tracing Blake's tiny features. "Just because his hair isn't the same colour doesn't mean he doesn't look like you."
We stood in silence for a moment, just watching Blake.
"You'll have to think of a name now Daddy," Bella said, nudging my shoulder.
"I sort of have one," I said, suddenly feeling shy. "I thought of it a few weeks ago, but I wasn't sure about it. Seeing him though, I think it suits him."
"What is it?"
"Blake Masen Cullen. Masen was my birth mother's maiden name, and I read the name Blake in a book and liked it."
"I love it," she beamed at me, kissing my cheek lightly. "It suits him."
"Mr. Cullen?" the nurse said. "We need to take him away now and clean him up a little, if that's okay. Plus, we just need to check him over since he was a bit early."
I reluctantly handed Blake over. "Don't worry, he'll be back soon," Bella said sweetly in my ear. She grabbed one of my hands. "You should go and tell your family."
I nodded dumbly, and let her pull me out of the room, smiling like a total moron.
My parents, Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie were sat in the waiting room, apparently playing Go Fish. Well, everyone but Esme, who had been pacing by the window.
"Well?" she said, as soon as she saw me, rushing over. "How is my grandchild?"
The others all stood up and gathered around me and Bella, still holding hands.
"Your grandson," I said, my smile getting impossibly bigger. "Is absolutely fine."
Esme let out a sob, and I pulled her in for a hug. Everyone else simply cheered, and Emmett and Jasper seemed to be exchanging money. Well, Emmett was handing it over to Jasper.
"How much did he weigh?" Jasper asked.
"Six pounds four," Bella answered, and Jasper handed back all of Emmett's money.
"Have you picked out a name?" Alice asked. "Call him Alistair, I love that name!"
"Blake Masen Cullen," I said proudly. I was no longer shy about the name, not now that Bella had voiced her approval. I trusted her judgement more than anyone else's in the world.
Muttering, Jasper took more money out of his pocket and handed it to a beaming Emmett.
"Did you guys place bets on everything about Blake?" Rosalie said, exasperated.
"Not everything," Emmett pouted. "When can we see him?"
"He's just being cleaned and checked over, as soon as that's done," I said.
I went back into the room where Lauren was now being attended to. I sat down beside her, taking her hand in mine. "Thank you," I said sincerely. "Thank you for my son."
I thought I saw a few tears well up in Lauren's eye, but I must have imagined it judging by her response.
"If my vagina has permanently stretched because of you, I will fucking castrate you."
Blake was gone for almost forty minutes, and I was getting concerned, but the minute I saw him my fears vanished. He was clean and pink, and had been dressed in a white onesie. His hair was now shiny and smooth and even softer than I had thought it would be, and my family absolutely loved him. Everyone was fighting over whose turn it was to hold him, and Emmett and Jasper were placing more bets over his first word and when he would learn to walk.
At around 7am, I convinced everyone to leave. They had all been there for almost twelve hours and looked shattered, and I promised that I would phone them the minute we got home with Blake so they could come over.
"Here," Alice said, handing me a bag. "Some clothes and bottles and stuff for him now in case you need it. I dropped everything else off at your place."
"Thank you," I said, giving her a hug before she left.
We sat just watching Blake sleep. He looked so peaceful, and I was finding it hard to believe that I was now a father and responsible for this child.
"I can't wait to take him home," I said to Bella as I handed him over into her waiting arms. "I'm scared as hell, but in a way I love the fact that I have a son that I can play football with and take out to the movies, and hold birthday parties for."
Bella nodded, a strand of hair falling in her face. I tucked it behind her ear and wrapped my arm around her waist, my hand grazing lightly over her own baby bump.
"Oh shit," I said suddenly. "You haven't eaten anything since we got here! You need something to eat!"
"You haven't eaten either," Bella pointed out.
"I'm not pregnant," I said.
"You had me fooled."
"Haha haha," I said dryly. "Hilarious. Go eat."
However she remained by my side with Blake for a few moments later. I wrapped my arm around her and she snuggled into my side, holding Blake between us.
"I don't want this moment to end," she admitted eventually.
"Me neither," I said, kissing her temple. "But I'm excited for all of the moments still to come. We have so much more to look forward to."
Okay, so I know a lot of you didn't want this baby to be Edward's, however hopefully you will later see why it had to be like this.
So what did you think? What was your favourite part? Drop me a review and let me know!
Reviewers get previews!
Also, for anyone who skipped the AN at the top, if nothing else, please do read the numbered list, especially the second point. I feel that it is really important that you read that point.
Thank you
xxxxx
