Family Secrets: Part two – chapter 8
They flutter behind you your possible pasts
some bright-eyed and crazy some frightened and lost
A warning to anyone still in command
of their possible future to take care
in derelict sidings the poppies entwine
with cattle trucks lying in wait for the next time
Do you remember me? How we used to be?
Do you think we should be closer?
Your Possible Pasts - (Waters) Pink Floyd
The heat of the burning warehouse was overwhelming, even from a distance. Sam stood behind Alta, his hands on her shoulders as they both stared into the pyre that held the body of Gwyn Campbell. The orange light flickered across the faces of those gathered, circled around the bodies of their kin. He could feel Alta's deep sorrow and he squeezed her shoulders lightly to let her know he was there and he understood her pain. Four other Campbell's had died in the battle and she grieved for all of them.
They left it to the clan to get the Campbell compound in order. The physical structures could be cleaned, the warehouse and the bodies of the demons and monsters burned, but the damage to the very fabric of the clan was another matter and Alta wondered if they would ever be the same. She wondered if she could ever be a part of the Campbell clan again. Without Samuel, Christian or Gwyn the clan was struggling to find its leader. Alta had refused. They asked Sam to step in and lead the clan. He said he would consider it but he felt he needed to be with Dean, Lisa and Ben until he was sure they were safe from Crowley.
... ... ...
Dean had pulled a chair into the bedroom of Sam's apartment and was sitting next to the bed watching Lisa sleep when Sam and Alta got home. He came out to meet them in the living room.
"How's Lisa?" Sam was as worried about Dean as he was about Lisa but he knew… how Dean was… depended mostly on how Lisa was.
"She was hysterical." Dean's voice was shaky. "She finally cried herself to sleep." He looked into Sam's eyes and let out a little nervous laugh.
"You Ok, Dean?" Sam's voice was gentle... sincere. Alta couldn't help but remember the first time she had seen the brothers interact. Then, they had not seen each other for months and Dean had thought his brother was dead and was overwhelmed with joy. Sam had been cold... This time she could see how much he cared for Dean.
"Yea... I think... It's just... I don't know if she's gonna get over this."
"Bobby's here. He's on his way up now."
Bobby brought Kat with him. He had a strong suspicion that she might be needed and she was willing to come on the trip.
"Dr. Wilson, this is my brother, Dean Winchester." Sam introduced her.
"Call me Kat" She smiled at Dean and he thought she just might be the first doctor he might actually trust. "I came with Bobby to see if I could be of some help. I understand Lisa has been through quite a lot. Do you mind if I see her."
"Sure." Dean led her into the bedroom where Lisa tossed about in an uneasy sleep.
Kat pulled the chair closer to the head of the bed, then looking up at Dean she said, "I would prefer to examine Lisa alone."
"No. I'm not leaving her." Dean didn't exactly yell, but his voice carried clearly into the living room where Bobby heard and immediately ran into the bedroom followed by Sam.
"Watch your tone, boy! She came here to help and you damn well better be glad!"
"It's ok, Bobby." Kat smiled.
Sam put a hand on Dean's chest and gently nudged him toward the door. "It's ok, Dean. She's very good. She helped me when Alta was injured. You can trust her. I promise."
Dean allowed himself to be guided out of the bedroom and Sam closed the door behind them. Dean turned to Bobby.
"I'm sorry, Bobby. I didn't mean to..." his eyes cut to Sam and one eyebrow rose so that his face was like a big question mark. Sam grinned in return and nodded his head, cutting his eyes toward Bobby.
"Yes! You boys just can't imagine that a person can have a life that doesn't involve you. You don't know everything about me."
Dean slapped him on the back. "God Bobby, she's beautiful."
"Yea, I know."
"She's got class too." Sam smiled, his eyes darting from Dean to Bobby.
Alta came out of the kitchen with beers. She had watched the exchange with amusement.
While Kat was with Lisa; Sam, Dean and Alta filled Bobby in on all the details of the fight in the warehouse.
"Samuel and Christian are dead and as far as I can tell that was the extent of Crowley's control over the clan." Alta glanced at Sam and he nodded in agreement.
"Yea I'm pretty sure the clan is clean again. But Crowley is still walking and talking."
"He did a number on Cas. Wonder how that happened?" Dean shook his head. He had been sure Castiel could kill Crowley. So had Sam.
Bobby was the type to take in all the facts before he weighed in on the matter, so when he did speak the brothers tended to listen. "Well, Crowley turned tail and ran. I'm thinking that means he'll probably lay low for a while and regroup. But he's not the type to quit. It seems once he's decided on a grudge he sticks with it to the end and apparently he's got a major grudge against all three of you."
"So he'll keep rearing his fugly head until we kill him?"
"Looks like." Sam answered.
"He's not the type to make a frontal attack. He won't want to dirty up his hands. He'll get reinforcements and he'll come at you sideways… try to catch you off guard. Seems to me we need to find out what he was doing capturing all those monsters."
"Amusement?" Sam offered.
"I don't think so. Crowley's twisted." Bobby ran his hand over his beard. "No doubt about that but that's a lot of work just for fun. There's something else to it. Finding out what he's using the monsters for is probably the key to finding Crowley."
Everyone turned to look as Kat opened the bedroom door. She stepped out and motioned for Dean to come in. When he entered, Lisa was sleeping peacefully. He had been so distraught, his emotions a direct reflection of Lisa's as she alternately cried and screamed. He hadn't really seen the bruises on her face. But when he did see the angry blue and purple spreading across her left cheek he paled and wondered what other wounds were hidden under the comforter.
"I sedated her so she should sleep peacefully. She has some ugly bruises and a few scrapes but physically she fine." Kat smiled and placed a hand on Dean's arm to reassure him. "But mentally... she's taken quite a beating. I understand she's not a hunter. She's a civilian?"
"Yea." Dean was overwhelmed with guilt. I did this. I got her mixed up in this. I should have known better. I should have known!
"I'm sorry." Kat could see the guilt and blame playing out across his face. "She's likely to have some PTSD. You know what that is?"
"Yea, post-traumatic stress... I've got a bit of that myself."
"Most hunters do, though they don't generally admit it. And they don't deal with it in the same way civilians do… She won't be able to push it away and ignore it like you… like hunters do." Kat leaned forward to catch and hold Dean's eyes. "She will need you to be strong, Dean. You can't do that if you are blaming yourself. Nobody is blaming you."
"Did she tell you... what he did to her?" He swallowed hard against the knot in his throat. He wasn't sure if he wanted to know. He knew she would need to talk about it. She always wanted to talk about her feelings. But the Winchesters never talked about their feelings... Well… except Sammy... But even Sam wasn't Sammy anymore and he didn't think the man Sam had become would be any better at it than he was.
"She told me some of it. But it will likely come out in bits and pieces over time."
"Over how long...?"
"It's different for different people, Dean." Kat continued to give him sympathetic smiles. Her voice was low and calm. "She should sleep through the night. If she doesn't I'll give you some pills to give her... for anxiety… and that will help. But if she wants to talk... just try to listen and let her talk. I'll be back in the morning." She waited for a response. Dean's face was strained with worry. "If you need me, you can call Bobby's number. We'll be nearby."
"Thanks, Kat."
"It's late. You all look exhausted." Bobby laid his arms across Alta's shoulders. His unspoken approval of her being back in Sam's life was obvious and she smiled a silent 'thank you' back to him. "Get some sleep. We'll meet you back here in the morning." He nodded to Sam and stepped up to Dean looking him in the eye. "It's gonna be alright, son." His eyes were full of sympathy and he held Dean's gaze for a long moment. Then he sighed. "Well." He turned to Kat, put his arm around her and guided her toward the door.
"Remember, call if you need me." Kat glanced back at Dean as they left and Bobby closed the door behind them.
"Bobby, you old dog!" Dean muttered softly and grinned at Sam who smiled back broadly at his brother raising his eyebrows, his cheeks dimpling.
"Honestly, you guys!" Alta couldn't help but giggle. "I adore Kat… and Bobby. I think he deserves someone special like her."
"No doubt about that." Sam agreed. "She's got a boatload of class for an old hunter like Bobby."
"Well, he's right about one thing. I'm exhausted." Dean was already at the bedroom door, opening it quietly and peering in. He mouthed back at Sam and Alta. "She's asleep." Then he slipped into the bedroom.
Dean stood looking down at Lisa for a long moment before he slipped under the covers and gently eased up just barely touching her. Her sleepy eyes scarcely opened. "Dean?" She rolled over… he raised his arm and she settled into him, her head resting on his shoulder. He lowered his arm and cradled her in his embrace, his cheek resting on the top of her head. Lisa… you got a boatload of class for a 'too old… too soon' hunter like me.
Just like that… everyone was gone. And they were exactly where they had been… with unresolved issues. Alta sat on the sofa… in the exact spot she had been… Sam stood gazing out the window… exactly as he had been… and the same questions hung in the air between them.
If you don't love me… why?
… I could know what it feels like to love you…
… could you possibly love me?
Alta had watched him kneel before her begging her to understand… humbled and beaten… and then she'd watched him take control … fought by his side… he did what had to be done… he was focused and decisive… he had radiated power and strength. Sam had become agonizingly complex… beautiful. And she knew that complexity came at a great price. He turned from the window and smiled at her. Suddenly she couldn't bear to look at him. Her eyes dropped to the floor. Her chest burned… her breath was ragged. He watched as she struggled and feared what she might be thinking.
"I know what Bobby said. And he's probably right, but I don't want to leave Dean until I know Crowley's not going to double back and make a counter attack." He walked over to her. "I need to stay here tonight." He bent down and placing a finger under her chin and gently raised her face. "Stay with me." She nodded. She knew there were tears in her eyes. She wasn't sure exactly why. "Good, I'm starving." Not sure what her tears meant, he needed to lighten the mood; change the subject before she said what he feared she might say. And he was hungry. He could hardly remember the last thing he'd eaten… eggs and toast… way too many hours ago.
They ate cereal and pop tarts and laughed and talked quietly about Bobby and Kat, Dean and Lisa and Ben and the clan. They talked about everybody but themselves. Finally they settled in for the night.
"Do we need to take shifts and watch?"
"No. Come here." He sat on the end of the sofa, stretching his long legs over the coffee table and motioned for her to sit beside him. "I really don't think Crowley will be back tonight. I just wanted to get you to stay." He grinned and waited for her response.
"Where'm I gonna go?" She laughed.
"Right here." He patted the sofa. "You stretch out. Lay your head in my lap."
She laid her head on his thigh. He stroked her hair and then eased himself down until he could rest his head on the back of the sofa. His hand wandered down to lay across her waist.
"This can't be comfortable for you…"
"Shhh… be still… "
Next morning when Dean came into the room to make his way to the kitchen and the coffee maker, he smiled at the sight of his 'little brother'. Sam was clearly too long for the sofa. One leg stretched out across the floor and the other, knee up against the back of the sofa with Alta sleeping on top of him, her head on his chest and her body draped down between his splayed legs. Maybe he finally found someone who is actually good for him, Dean thought. She had stood by them in the fight and she was a good hunter. Maybe, just maybe Sam's 'apple pie' was a little different than everybody else's. Sam stirred when he heard the growling of the coffeemaker. Alta woke when she smelled the coffee.
"Coffee'll be ready in a minute." Dean was pulling mugs from the cabinet. "You got cream and sugar? Lisa likes to 'froo froo' her coffee up."
"Um… Yea." Sam cleared the sleep from his throat. "In the fridge and on the counter, Dean." Alta pushed herself up but Sam quickly pulled her back down against him. "Wait a minute." He whispered to her. She saw a kind of helpless look in his eyes. And as he held her against him she felt the reason he didn't want her to get up… hard against her belly. Her eye brows rose and there was a smirk on her face. What? I can't help it. "Just give me a minute." He whispered; his eyes cut toward Dean. Alta snickered and settled back down.
"Ok." She whispered.
Sam's situation was not lost on Dean. Hell, I'd have a boner too if I woke up with someone like her on my lap! "Ok, then." He turned to the refrigerator and swung the door open. "Let's see what we have here for breakfast."
Then Lisa appeared in the doorway. "Morning everyone." Her voice was tentative, but at least she wasn't crying.
Alta heard Sam's muffled sigh and looked up at him. He looked into her captivating green eyes, wide with mischief and her hair tousled all over her head. She blew him a little kiss and a sly smile. Sam's head fell back on the sofa and he let out a loud sigh, not caring who heard it or what they thought. I am not sleeping on the soft again tonight!
... ... ...
When Lisa was ready to talk, it was Alta that she asked for. She came into the bedroom, Lisa had showered and she sat on the side of the bed. Alta noticed the bruises but she also noticed a timid smile.
"I'm sorry I put you and Sam out of your bed."
"It's ok, really. Sam wouldn't fit on the sofa so I made him sleep sitting up and used his lap as a pillow." Alta smiled. "It was a pretty good pillow... A little hard, but..." She rolled her eyes and Lisa gave a tiny giggle. Alta saw a little of the Lisa she met at GrayStone Spa just a few months… and a lifetime ago. She was lighthearted and friendly then. Alta had enjoyed spending that time with Lisa.
"How do you do… what you do? How do live with this awful… stuff… in your head?" She spat out the word, not knowing what to call it.
"It's who I am, Lisa. It's what I was raised to do." She touched Lisa's hand. "I'm sorry you had to experience that. But when innocent people get hurt… if I can save them… It's what I live for. It's all I know how to do." Lisa seemed to consider her answer for a long moment.
"That man… Crowley…"
"Crowley is a demon. He stopped being a man centuries ago."
"He took that man's soul."
"What?"
"He took that man's soul. He pulled it out of him."
"Wait… can I get Sam and Dean? I want them to hear this. I think it's important. Can you tell them too?"
"I think so. If it will help."
Sam and Dean stood by the bed while Alta sat next to Lisa. "Describe what you saw Crowley doing."
"There was this man… and two other men brought him to Crowley… he looked bad. Like he'd been beaten, t-tor-tortured." Lisa swallowed hard. "They held him and it looked like Crowley just… sucked this glowing light out of him. The man… moaned… oh God, it was awful… the sound… and he…" Lisa's voice fell to a whisper. "He died."
"Lisa." Dean sat next to her and put his arms around her. "It's ok… you don't have to do this." He was stroking her back and pulling her to him. He wanted to protect her, to ease her pain… to make it go away.
"Dean, let her get it out." Alta spoke softly but Dean glared at her, Sam tensed and Lisa held up her hands to calm them all.
"She's right. Let me finish this." She looked at Dean. "It's important." He nodded.
"This glowing bright light that came out of him… Crowley sucked it inside of him. It gave him power. He kind of… shined. He said he was going to take my soul. He was going to pull it out of me and he wanted Dean to watch while… I… I … d…" She swallowed hard once again barely able to whisper "…while I died." She buried her face in Dean's chest. Her body shook with giant sobs. Dean looked up at Sam. His face was an angry knot. Sam looked from Dean to Alta.
"Lisa, you did good." Alta stroked her back. "Thank you for sharing that. You were so strong… and brave." She turned to Sam. "Get some water." Then to Dean. "You have some pills?"
"Yea."
"Get them." She lowered Lisa on the bed. "I think you should rest a little. Kat will be here soon."
"I'm here." Kat spoke up from the door. "What's happening?"
"She just wanted to talk some. It was difficult… but she did really well… it was just… a lot." Alta didn't know exactly what to say. But they needed to figure out the information Lisa had given them and she needed to get Lisa taken care of so that they could talk about this.
"I've got her." Kat motioned to the others. "Go… let me take care of this."
Dean hesitated. He'd done his fair share of nurturing and he didn't want to leave Lisa. Sam put a giant warm hand on his brother's shoulder. "It's ok. She's in good hands." He nudged Dean toward the door. "We need to talk and we need Cas to hear this."
The hunters all huddled together in Sam's living room. Sam, Alta and Dean filled Bobby and Castiel in on Lisa's revelation.
"Souls are the most concentrated power in the universe. Few humans ever understand how to tap that power." Castiel was leaning against the kitchen counter. "Merlin was a master at it."
"Wait… Merlin?" Dean's face was awestruck. "Merlin… the magician… like King Arthur … Merlin? He was real?"
"Yes." Castiel's face showed no emotion. "Not exactly like your legends portray him, but he was quite powerful."
"Back on track." Sam sighed. "So… Crowley is taking souls in to increase his power."
"Yes, it explains how he was able to overpower me like he did."
"What if we could get our hands on the colt or Ruby's knife?" Dean questioned. "We could take him out with one of those."
"Maybe, but he's likely too powerful for the knife. The colt would be the best bet." Bobby was watching Cas intently.
"So do you know where the colt is?" Alta shot a look at Sam. He shrugged.
"The last place I saw it was in Carthage Missouri when I shot Lucifer in the head." Dean paced across the room. Alta noticed Sam's eyes glaze and he seemed to swoon, not enough for everyone to notice, but Alta caught it. His eyes closed, his forehead wrinkled and he pinched the bridge of his nose.
At the mention of his name, Sam felt a sudden flash of unbearable heat and a sharp pain flashed through his head. God no! I know this pain. He quickly turned his back to the group. Going to the window he stood, leaning with one hand balancing him against the frame and the other still pinching the bridge of his nose. Stop… stop… Get away from me… Stay away!
The pain was gone as suddenly as it appeared. But Sam knew it would be back. "It would be best if we stick together. As we are… where we all live… we're too spread out. This place is too small." He eyed Alta and wondered if she planned to stay with him… and he wondered if it would be fair to ask. He had no doubt he was in for the worst struggle of his life, one that could possibly be the death of him.
"I need some time to talk to Lisa."
"We all need some time to talk this over." Sam's eyes were still on Alta. Her face was unreadable.
TBC
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