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Jasper POV

After spending a few days in the hospital bed, I was moved into some other place in the hospital in which they made me change into some sort of white suit. Carlisle promised me that this was only temporally and depending on how I'm coping would decide on whether I would get to leave this place or be sent to a proper mental institution. I already felt like I was in one. I wasn't allowed anything in my room that could be a suicide threat and I had to have somebody with me when I went to the bathroom. When they had first told me that, I freaked. I couldn't stand the idea of doing something supposedly private when somebody had to accompany me and what if one of these people was like my father. They could hurt me and nobody would know. In the end, Carlisle was called to calm me down and he did so by negotiating with the others who were suppose to be looking after me and said that he would be the one to take me to the bathroom. I knew Carlisle and so far he hasn't hurt me therefore he is the most trustworthy one here. I just hope that this isn't all an act. There is always that possibility where he could suddenly turn on me.

I had only been in this place for two days but I was already missing freedom. Well, I suppose freedom wasn't the correct word but I definitely didn't want to be here. I missed Alice. I wanted her here but she hasn't visited me since I was in hospital. It wasn't her fault though; Carlisle told me that he wanted me to adjust in this place first and then he'll let Alice visit but I wanted her here right now. I won't adjust to no place without her.

"Jasper, are you Ok?" a voice spoke.

My mind was so focused on that one person that I was so on that I completely forgot about my surroundings was in my current room but I clearly wasn't alone. In order for the doctors to see if I'm mentally well enough to be released, I had to talk to a psychiatrist so that I would get better. In my opinion, there is nothing wrong with me; I just view the world differently to others and maybe want to end it every now and again but I wasn't thinking straight. I just didn't realise how much I needed Alice. I still need her.

"Jasper, talk to me. Tell me what's going through your mind" my psychiatrist spoke again.

My psychiatrist was some guy called Nikolai Mactavish. He was Ok, I guess. He wasn't too pushy for answers but he was still constantly asking me questions. I suppose that's his job really but it was still annoying.

"Alice" I whispered.

It was a strange thought but I couldn't help but want to try and kiss her again. The nerves got the better of me last time but eventually I will get use to it. Perhaps I was forcing myself to do something that I wasn't yet ready for but I am a 17 year old who has yet to passionately kiss somebody. People at this age had already made love. I may not be a virgin but I sure as hell wouldn't call that 'making love'. Why was I even thinking about this kind of stuff. As soon as my father is locked away, I won't do anything sexual ever again. I just wouldn't be able to handle it; especially with this panic disorder thing that Carlisle said that I had. He had already started me on antidepressants and he told me they take a while to kick in.

"Tell me about Alice, Jasper" Nikolai said.

I smiled at the sound of her name. Why did she have such an effect on me?

"I need her" I whispered back to him.

I had to see her. Every time Carlisle came to see me, I pretty much begged him to let me see Alice. Does she want to see me? Maybe she doesn't. Maybe she has finally realised how messed up I really am. But then again, why did she visit me in the hospital?

"Why do you need her?" Nikolai asked gently.

It was actually a difficult question. Why did I need her? There was something about her that made me feel comfortable and ironically, this place was actually making me insane because she wasn't here to comfort me. I couldn't touch her hands, couldn't talk to her, I couldn't even gaze at her and I was craving all those things. She was like my drug. I relied on her and I was addicted to her comfort. I want her so terribly badly.

"She makes me safe" I answered.

"Do you mean she makes you feel safe?" He tried to correct me.

I shook my head at him. I knew what I meant.

"Tell me what you mean" Nikolai said.

"She saved me" I whispered.

"Tell me more about that" he questioned.

"She kept me away from him. She made me feel comfortable around her; I have never felt comfortable before" I admitted.

It was the truth. I may have felt comfortable before my mother had left but I don't remember anything before the beginning of hell. I only remember Alice and her warm touch when she puts her arms around me the times when I am desperate for her comfort.

"Do you feel comfortable now?" He gently asked.

I shrugged at him. Alice wasn't here, therefore I wasn't comfortable. But I wasn't uncomfortable either. I mean, he was sitting the complete opposite end of the room because he knows about my panic attack and that being close to strangers can cause that.

"Only Alice makes me comfortable. I need Alice right now" I said.

"You seem incredibly reliant on her Jasper" he commented.

"She's my angel. She replace the bad thing in life with the good things. I will always need her".

A sudden thought occurred to me. She wouldn't want me to stick around all her life but I knew that without her, my life isn't worth living. It will go back to the way it was before I met her.

"Jasper?" Nikolai called.

I looked up and I noticed that he was looking at me curiously which made me realise that I was shaking.

"I don't think I can talk anymore today" I said firmly.

Normally, I wouldn't be given a choice but to talk to the psychiatrist at least an hour every day but because of the whole constantly in panic mode thing, they ease off a lot more.

"Are you sure you don't want to tell me anything else?" He asked.

I shook my head at him. I didn't want to say anything more. I just wanted to sit in silence and think about Alice.

"Alright then. I shall speak to you tomorrow" he said as he got up from the seat.

I waited for him to leave the room before I carried myself over to my bed. I didn't like the idea of turning my back on people, especially those that I hardly know. It wasn't even late, nor was I tired but lying in my bed, wrapping myself warm was the only way that could make me feel even the slightest bit comfortable.

But I still needed Alice.

Ok guys, I deeply apologise for such a short chapter. It just seemed the perfect moment to end the chapter, but anyway... I actually updated twice today so you can't hate me that much but I'll try and make the next chapter longer. Also, are you guys Ok with me making the time fly a bit because so far, everything has happened within a matter of weeks and I feel that it's all happening a little too fast. That's why this chapter kind of skipped 4 days.