Chapter Twenty Seven
Over, Truly Over
Lily had left the hospital by the time the sun rose and even though he was upset by her absence Harry was not too surprised that she had left. He guessed that the birth was all rather hard on Lily and her trying to patch things up with Ginny probably made her thoughts more jumbled than normal. Hermione was stirring from her sleep when Harry went to see her after he told Rose and the others that Lily had left. Rose and the others said they would stay for a while but they needed to get back to the castle soon, they all had revision to do and Harry was not going to get in there way. The sunlight lit up Hermione's room as Harry walked in; a large mug of coffee was in his hands along with a mug of hot water for Hermione.
"Morning" Hermione said with a smile when she saw Harry. "Is everything ok? Harry? Is something wrong?" She asked when she saw Harry's expression.
"Everything is fine, don't worry Hermione." Harry said. "It's just that Lily went back to the castle this morning. Rose, Hugo, James and Albus will go back to the castle in a while. That is all." Harry explained.
"Is everything ok with Lily?" Hermione asked and Harry simply shrugged. Hermione sigh to herself and shook her head. "What has happened now?" Hermione asked. Yes she loved Lily but it was clear that Lily was beginning to drive Harry round the bend; that was if she hadn't already driven him around the bend.
"Lily says that I have to tell Ginny about you giving birth. Lily says that Ginny, along with Minnie and Ron, need to know about Elodie being born." Harry said. Hermione chewed on her lip nervously. "I know, I know but I think it is for the best or Lily will never speak to me again and I've grown rather attached to her since she started talking to me again." Harry said.
"Isn't Ginny going to be even more upset than she already is?" Hermione asked with trepidation.
"Yes but she would be even more upset if we didn't tell her and she found out some other way and most importantly, I don't want to lose my daughter." Harry said Hermione nodded even if she looked nervous. Harry gripped onto to Hermione's hand firmly and looked into her brown eyes. "Hermione I love you but Lily is my daughter, I cannot lose her again. I really love you and I love our daughters. I love all my children and I really did love my wife for a time so she deserves to know. She deserves it."
"You what is even more scary when someone is reasonable?" Hermione asked. Harry shook his head. "It is even scarier when it is you that is being the reasonable one. If you think it is best to tell Ginny then I agree with you even if it makes me sick to the stomach." Hermione said.
"It will all be ok, Hermione it will all be ok. Yes Ginny and Ron will be mad at us but we have each other." Harry said.
"Harry-"
"Hermione, I want to marry you ok? I want to marry you, live in a big house out in the countryside and be ridiculously happy with you. I had a terrible childhood until I went to Hogwarts and found friends, until I found magic. Well that was until a crazy man decided he wanted to kill me and nearly succeeded several times. So now I just want to live happily in the countryside with you as my wife so we can be happy." Harry said clearly.
"I want that as well, but no more children ok? I've done this three times now and it never stops being painful as hell." Hermione said with a chuckle. Harry laughed to himself and bent down to kiss Hermione on the lips.
"Don't worry; we don't have to have any more children. The ones we have are a handful enough without adding this little tyrant in the making into the mix." Harry said. As if on cue Harry and Hermione heard the tiny Elodie up and grumbling. "I worry about her, ever since you told me you were pregnant I've worried about her. I want her to grow up happy and loved, I don't want her to have the same slightly crappy childhood that Lily had. I want her to grow up happy and surrounded by love."
"Harry she'll be happy, she's going to have a happy childhood and be surrounded by love so please stop worrying." Hermione said with a brilliant smile she leant forward and kissed Harry on his lips. "Now can you pass me my beautiful baby daughter so I can say good morning to her please?" Hermione asked. Harry chuckled and went to pick up the tiny Elodie. He kissed the new born on the forehead before passing her over to Hermione.
"We will sort everything out Hermione, I promise." Harry said with determination
.
Once I was back at Hogwarts I couldn't stand being around anyone even Victoire though she tried to get me to talk to her. I needed fresh air. I needed fresh air and I needed space. All I wanted was to be away from everyone else. Victoire tried to get me to talk to her but I made it clear that I needed time to myself.
The only place I wanted to go to was the owlery because it would no doubt be empty apart from a large amount of owls. The owlery was one of my favourite places in the whole of Hogwarts after the library or my four poster bed. When I came here I would forget about everything else in this world. I could sit for hours, read or simply watch the world go by in a slow and peaceful way that was so different to my life.
I moved across the owlery until I got to my normal window. It was the lowest in the owlery and faced the lake. I sat down and let my mind wander from everything going on in my life. I just needed things to slow down, I needed things to sort themselves out.
"Lily." A voice called out startling me. Why was it that people felt the need to always startle me when I was trying to think? I wondered if people got a kick out of it or something. I turned to face whoever it was and was surprised to see Sirius of all people standing in the doorway. It had been so long since Sirius and I had been up here in the owlery alone, a lot had happened since then and I doubt I was still the person I was back when it happened. It was safe to say that I didn't really want to talk to Sirius at the moment. Before he could say anything else I turned away from him and went back to staring out the window.
"Lily please." Sirius said.
"What do you want?" I asked as I turned back to him.
"I didn't see you at breakfast…" Sirius practically mumbled. I couldn't help but snort.
"I just need some fresh air so I came out here." I said firmly. "I don't mean to sound harsh but what are you doing here?" I asked. Sirius shuffled from foot to foot and looked everywhere but at me.
"Look Rose came to see me, well to shout at me over my behaviour towards you and how I acted at the party." Sirius mumbled. Damn you Rose.
"When did Rose get back?" I asked. I checked my watch and it was only midday, I was sure Rose wasn't coming back till later in the day.
"She's been back about an hour. One of the first things she did was come and yell at me if you really want to know. I think the lack of sleep has made her even snippier." Sirius said. I just raised an eyebrow as if to ask why he was talking to me. "I'm not going to say sorry because I was hurting at the time but I know it wasn't the decent thing for me to do so I thought I would make it up to you." Sirius said walking over to me and holding out a stack of toast.
"Toast? You think you can make everything right by giving me toast?" I asked. Sirius shrugged. "Does it have jam or marmalade on it? No wait I don't want to know what it has on it! I don't want any toast Sirius, I'm not hungry." I said moving away from Sirius and towards the window. The sunlight was glinting off the lake and everything looked so peaceful and yet nothing was peaceful anymore.
"Rose told me you have a sister now-"
"Sirius I don't want to talk about this right now ok. I don't want to talk to you about anything at the moment. Plus you don't have to pretend that you like me anymore; you don't have to pretend that we're anything anymore so why even bother? Why bother anymore Sirius?"
"Lily please-"
"No Sirius, I have officially lost my fight so I really do not want to hear it. After years and years of fighting I have finally lost my fight, I have no more fight left to give anyone." I snapped. Sirius stared at me in shock.
"Lily please can we just-"
"I don't dream anymore, did you know that? Ever since all this happened I don't dream anymore. I just lie there waiting for sleep to come and when it finally does it is just darkness. I used to dream all the time, I used to dream about so much but no I just don't dream anymore and I miss it so much. I used to have dreams so vivid that I was convinced I was awake at the time. I loved dreaming but now…now I don't. I miss it so much…" I heard myself babble. Sirius just stayed silent and occasionally kicked at the floor. "I don't feel like myself anymore and I have no-one to blame but myself." I said.
"Lily you don't just have to blame yourself, you can blame a fair few of people." Sirius explained. "Like I said, I'm not going to say sorry to you because I'm still hurting but after everything that has happened I do feel sorry for you."
"I don't want your pity Sirius; I don't want anyone's pity." I snapped.
"It's not pity Lily…I just…I…" Sirius mumbled.
"Look, I came out here for some peace and quiet. Can you please just leave me alone?" I asked. By the look on Sirius's face he heard the venom in my voice, he saw just how angry I was.
"What happened to you Lily?" Sirius asked.
"Excuse me? Are you that stupid?" I hissed. "Since Christmas my whole life has pretty much been thrown upside down-"
"Lily I know that. What I want to know is what happened to you to make you this…bitchy? You were always a bit prickly but you have gotten so much worse…"
"Wow…you really are a dick." I said bluntly. "Most people would be allowed to be pricklier after what I have been through."
"Lily-"
"Sirius I am tired! I am tired and pissed off! I had to stand by my father last night while the woman he left my mother for gave birth to his daughter. Yes I have a beautiful baby sister but I am tired! I have had hardly any sleep and before I was dragged to the 'miracle of birth' I ended things with Scorpius because of you and my family. I am allowed to be pissed off, angry and very bitchy. Please, please just leave me alone to wallow in my own self-misery." I snapped. Several owls turned to us with their freaky owl heads and stared at us.
"Lily...you're sorry for what you did aren't you?" Sirius asked. I nodded; I knew he would never really accept my apology but I hoped that we could go back to something like friends, something like before even if I was pissed off at him. "I'm not going to forgive you and I'm not going to say sorry for what I said to you before but I want to stop being angry at you. I want you to know that I am no longer angry at you." Sirius explained and it felt like a weight had been lifted from my chest. I felt free in a way. He probably would never forgive me but knowing he was no longer angry at me made me feel light. "I know you want me to love you alone so I'll go, I just wanted you to know that." Sirius said. He walked away from me and was almost out the door when I called out.
"Thank you." I made sure that all of my relief drowned my voice and I saw Sirius's face react when he heard it. He understood that this hurt me just as much as it hurt him; he had lost me as a friend and a girlfriend but I had lost two friends, a boyfriend and a potential boyfriend. Ok maybe I was still pissed off but at least I could feel slightly better.
I could only stay up in the owlery for so long. I had to return to the castle and face up to things. Plus I had a massive amount of homework to do that I had been neglecting for days. I figured that a trip to the library was needed. I expected the library to be empty and wasn't at all surprised when I saw a grand total of three people sat around tables reading. What did surprise me was that Scorpius was one of those people. I turned to walk away but Scorpius looked up to see me and coughed loudly.
"You don't have to run away just because I'm here." Scorpius said. "You should be able to talk to me you know."
"I'm not running away." I protested.
"Of course you're not." Scorpius said with a sarcastic snort. I sighed and shuffled in my shoes. I wanted to talk to Scorpius more than anything but after what happened the previous night I just couldn't find the words anymore and I hated it so much. It felt like a lifetime ago that I was ending things between us even though it had only been less than a day.
"I just came up here to get a book for potions" I mumbled more to myself than anything. Scorpius shrugged and returned to the book he was reading. I had I think of something, anything, to say to him but I was completely clueless.
"I heard about Hermione Granger going into labour, Cissia told me." Scorpius said. I had told Cissia just before we left last night so that wasn't really surprising. "I'm surprised you're back this early." Scorpius added.
"I needed to get back, I have work to do. Professor Longbottom has given me some NEWT exam papers to look over." I said. I was trying to think of the most banal things to talk to Scorpius about because I couldn't think of anything else to say and I hated it. "I best go and get my book" I muttered awkwardly.
"Lily wait-"
"No...I best...I best go." I said quickly as I dashed off to search for my book. I doubt that meeting could have gone any worse. I doubt it could have gone any more awkward either.
"That was painful." someone said from between the aisle of books. I saw a flash of slick blonde hair then Cissia walked out from between the aisle, shaking her head as she did so. "You two are beyond ridiculous and you both know it." Cissia added with a snort.
"What are you doing up here?" I asked.
"Oh Dominique heard I was going to talk to Professor Calistra and she asked me if I could pick up a book for her on Care of Magical Creatures." Cissia explained.
"Such a good little helper." I said with a smirk. Cissia smirked back before rolling her eyes at me.
"Are you to ever going to just get together?" Cissia asked in annoyance.
"We're not together Cissia, I ended things ok? I'm sorry that it happened but it happened." I said.
"I know that, what I want to know is when are you going to get over that?" Cissia asked.
"I...I really don't know ok." I said with a loud sigh. Cissia looked at me with something that looked like annoyed pity. "Look I have work do and a book to get so can we just leave this for the moment?" I asked.
"I told you not to hurt him." Cissia said.
"I know, I know and I'm sorry ok?" I said. Cissia shrugged and walked back towards the aisle of books. I felt like screaming but I was in a library that would not be the best thing to do, shouting in the library was strictly not allowed. I stomped back to the common room in a foul mood and hoped to Merlin that I could just go to my dormitory and wallow in my own self misery.
"Here you are! I've been looking for you for ages! I thought about going to the owlery but it's raining too badly. I was just about to check the library." Rose said as soon as I walked back into the common room. She was sat at a table with Victoire, Dominique and a stressed out looking Jasmine, a large stack of books was sat in the centre of the table.
"I was at the owlery before." I said. "Then I went to the library to grab a book" I explained.
"Which book?" Rose asked looking at my empty hands.
"It's a long story." I explained.
"Did you see Cissia while you were there?" Dominique asked.
"Yeah she should be up soon; I'm going to lie down for a while." I said. Rose moved in her chair like she was planning on following me but I shook my head. I knew I was shutting Rose out but I couldn't help it because as soon as I let people in it usually went to complete pot.
Ginny Weasley was tired. She was tired and grumpy. Minnie had kept her up half the night complaining of nightmares and asking for her father. Over time Ginny had run out of excuses for why Harry wasn't visiting, about why Ginny always looked so sad. Now Ginny was surrounded by half empty cups of coffee at various temperatures while she sat in the living room trying not to fall asleep. She needed to finish writing an article for The Quidditch Quarterly along with an article for Witch Weekly and The Sunday Prophet yet her brain was just not focusing. A clatter from the kitchen made Ginny look up and she spotted her mother setting about to make breakfast. Molly Weasley spotted her daughter and gave her a weary smile.
"Good morning Ginny, did Minnie get off to sleep in the end?" Molly asked. Ginny nodded tiredly. "Would you like some breakfast?" Molly then asked. Ginny shrugged. "Oh for Merlin's sake Ginevra! Will you stop moping around the house and do something? Don't you have articles to write?"
"I'm writing them."
"I haven't seen you near a parchment for two days. Stop sitting around and feeling sorry for yourself!" Molly snapped.
"Who is feeling sorry for themselves?" Arthur Weasley asked as he walked into the living room. "Oh good morning Ginny dear." He said nodding at his daughter as he leafed through a stack of envelopes. "The post has just arrived Molly." He added. "Now who is feeling sorry for themselves?"
"Ginvera, like always. Now Arthur will you please tell her to stop sitting around the house."
"Now Molly she did go and see Lily to try and patch things up, that's something to be happy about."
"Oh congratulations! She spoke to her daughter; honestly I could kill Harry bloody James bloody Potter for doing this to you. Him and that silly woman!" Molly snapped. "Now who wants sausages and eggs?" Molly added. Ginny rolled her eyes and sloped off to her study where several half-finished articles were waiting for her. She had just lost the determination to finish any of the work she was supposed to finish.
By mid afternoon Ginny was halfway through finishing several of the articles she had reluctantly started. One of them was meant to be published in The Sunday Prophet in the next coming weeks but she was unsure on submitting it. Most newspapers and magazines had been keen on interviewing Ginny about the deterioration of her marriage but Ginny had made it quite clear that she was not going to talk about it to anyone. It was her business and her business alone.
Ginny was just putting the finishing touches to her sentence when she heard the faint knock of the front door. There was some scuffling and Ginny heard Minnie's voice call out "I'll get it!" Thinking that it would just be one of her brothers Ginny went back to her article until she heard Minnie's squeal of excitement.
"Daddy!" Ginny heard Minnie cry and her blood ran cold. No, Harry could be here could he? She had not seen him since that night over Christmas and it had now been a couple months since that night. It was not possible for Harry to be here could it? Why would he come here? Why? Unless he was here to say that he had made a mistake and that he wanted Ginny to come home. Even after what he had done was still clinging to some hope that Harry still loved her, that he was here to tell her that he did not want Hermione and that he wanted her, only her.
Ginny quickly placed her quill onto her desk before straitening her clothes. She rushed into the kitchen and sure enough there was Harry. Ginny had almost forgotten how handsome her estranged husband was with his dark hair and brilliantly green eyes. He looked tired on his and slightly weary but he was still the Harry that Ginny had fallen for all those years ago. He was busy hugging Minnie tightly will Mrs Weasley looked furious. Ginny was about to make her presence known when her father came stopping into the kitchen from the living room.
"You!" Mr Weasley shouted loudly has he stormed over to Harry. Minnie gave a yelp and hid behind her father, her large almond brown eyes full of fear and worry.
"Dad stop it now, you're scaring Minnie!" Ginny snapped. It was then that Harry realised that Ginny was there. He looked up and saw her standing in the doorway.
"Hello Ginny." He said in a stilted voice. Ginny tried to stop her heart from fluttering when he spoke. She hated that she still loved him so very much.
"Hello Harry." Ginny said. She was very aware that she had no makeup on her face and that she was only wearing a random pair of jeans and an old jumper her mother had knitted for her father back when Ginny was little. Ginny quickly smoothed down her hair and walked from the doorway and into the kitchen. "I hope you are well." Ginny said hoping that Harry would hear how friendly she was sounding. Harry simply nodded. "That's good." Ginny said. Harry looked nervous and Ginny was now wondering what he was here to say. "Um…would you like to talk in living room?" Ginny asked. "Alone." She added glancing at her parents. Harry looked visibly relieved.
"Yes, thank you Ginny." Harry said. He looked down at Minnie and smiled. Ginny cursed herself inwards when her heart panged because of that smile. "I'll be back in a minute Minnie." Harry said to their youngest daughter.
"Ok daddy." Minnie said with a small smile. Ginny nodded towards the living room and began to walk towards the room. Her head was racing with what Harry could be here to say. Once they were in the living room Ginny motioned for Harry to sit down.
"Thank you Ginny." Harry said as they both sat down. Once again Harry's voice had such a formal tone to it. Ginny was now very much confused as to why he was here. Realising that this could possibly be her only chance to speak to Harry in a long time Ginny reached over and touched Harry's arm gently.
"It's good that you have come here Harry." Ginny said "I know we had some harsh words for each other during that time during Christmas but I have really missed you-"
"Ginny-"
"I know what you did was a terrible thing but maybe we could work things out and-"
"Ginny, Hermione went into labour yesterday. She gave birth to my daughter during the early hours of the morning. We've called her Elodie." Harry said interrupting Ginny
"Pardon?" Ginny said. She was not sure if she had heard Harry correctly.
"Hermione's had the baby and we've called her Elodie. Lily helped us deicide upon the name."
"You mean you're here to tell me that she had the baby? That's all?" Ginny asked.
"Yes, Lily was very persistent when it came to you knowing. She said that both you and Ron ought to know as soon as possible otherwise it may hurt your feelings if you found out from someone else." Harry said. Ginny could feel tears welling up in her eyes but she was determined not to let Harry Potter see her cry. "Ginny, why did you think I was here?" Harry asked.
"I don't know Harry, I don't know."
"You said…you said that you wanted to work things out…Ginny?"
"I thought you might be here to patch things up…I thought you were here to come back to me not tell me that she had given birth, not to tell me that you now had another daughter thanks to that woman!" Ginny heard herself yell loudly.
"Ginny you deserved to know. Hermione-"
"Do not say her name! I cannot believe I was this stupid to hope that you were coming back! Why would I even want you back? You chose that woman over me and now you can live with the consequences." Ginny snapped.
"Ginny I'm sorry if you thought that we could work this out but I'm in love with Hermione-"
"Stop saying her name!" Ginny screamed.
"No Ginny! I am in love with her, we have had a daughter and I want to spend the rest of my life with her!" Harry retorted.
"You promised me that we would together for the rest of our lives! We were declared bonded for life! Bonded for life not just until you found someone else who was married to your best friend and my brother! Not until you lied to our whole family for sixteen years!" Ginny cried.
"Ginny you need to calm down."
"No, you need to get out of this house before I hex you. I cannot believe you had the nerve to come here and wave your 'love' and your bloody new born brat in my face. Do you enjoy seeing me like this Harry? Do you get a kick out of it?" Ginny hissed. Harry sighed and gripped onto Ginny's hand. She tried to rip it away but Harry clung on.
"Ginny I never intended to hurt you by what I did to you all those years ago and I never intended to hurt you now but you have been hurt. For that I am so very sorry and I mean that. I want you to be happy I really do. I never have and never will get a kick out of seeing you this way and I am very sorry. Ginny I will always love you very much but my love for Hermione is very different. It's a different kind of love and I am sorry I never felt it with you." Harry explained. Ginny stared at him and wished that her heart didn't hurt this much.
"Harry…Harry please just go…please. If you still care about me then just go." Ginny said as all the fight she had in her drained from her body. She felt deflated and tiny as Harry stood up and ran his fingers through his ever untidy hair. With a pang Ginny realised that she would never tease him about his hair ever again. She would never try to tame it or brush a stray hair from his face. She would never do any of that anymore because Harry wasn't hers anymore. He would never be hers again.
"Ginny-"
"Harry please…just…go." Ginny said. Harry sighed once again and walked out the living room. Ginny waited for a moments before crumpling in on herself. Hot tears coursed down her face and a sob escaped her chest. It was all over now. It was all well and truly over yet all Ginny could do was cry onto her arms and mourn her destroyed marriage.
Thanks to everyone reading this, you guys are great. Only three more chapters to go then I can officially call this fic finished.
