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Chapter 28
"Dimitri, its not what you think." I told him. I hoped he would be calm and collected about this. Though, I wouldn't blame him if he wasn't.
"You just told another man. . Ivashkov at that, that you are pregnant. We both know I can't get you pregnant so what else am I to think?" he hissed venom dripping off his words. The way he said his words hurt. Like I said I couldn't blame him.
"Please, just calm down." I said trying to stay in control. The way he spoke to me brought tears but I head them back.
"How the hell do you expect me to be calm," Dimitri yelled. That made all the tears go away and replaced them with anger.
"Don't fucking yell at me. I'm trying to fix things here." I snarled.
"How do you expect to fix this huh?" Dimitri growled.
"I don't know maybe if you would calm down for one second we could figure this shit out." I yelled. I was losing it. My control. I didn't need this. Not now. I also didn't need anyone walking into our conversation.
"How do-"
"Stop fucking asking 'how'." I hissed. My breathing was heavy and I was pissed. It was silent and I heard Adrian speaking from the phone.
"Rose. Rose. Is everything okay? Where are you? I will meet you? Rose?" I heard Adrian say from the the phone.
"I need to umm, call you back." I hung up without another word and I tried to bring my control back.
Dimitri's face was still radiating with anger. Which left it up to me to bring things back to normal. I started to walk toward him.
"Can we talk about this?" I asked taking his hand but he pulled it away from me.
"I don't know if I want to talk about it." Dimitri said walking away from me.
"Dimitri," I called after him. "Dimitri, be reasonable about this."
"If I wanted to be reasonable I would. I should call a divorce." He called back. I had started to go after him but stopped, when he said those words. How could he even think that? I loved him and I would never want to hurt him. And he had said those words to deliberately hurt me. Yes they were said out of anger but they were still said. My mind started to wonder if he was actually considering it. We had just gotten married he couldn't possibly consider it. We had a great night only for things to turn to the worst at the last minute. Tears built in my eyes and threatened to spill. I needed to talk to him. He would need to calm down before I could explain anything to him. He was gone within minutes. Hot tears spilled down my cheeks. I sighed and went back to our room. Pondering how I would explain it to him. Where would I start? 'Oh Dimitri yeah I'm pregnant but I don't know whose it is because Adrian said he would remember having sex with me and I don't remember anything from that night so it could be anyones.' That wouldn't do anything but make him more mad. Not only that it made me sound like a complete whore. It hurt. The thought of talking to Dimitri about this. It also hurt because it didn't guarantee he'd listen. I could have sworn those were the only things that happened that night. I would remember the rest.
I sat down on the couch and thought about calling Lissa, but decided against it. She wasn't the one I needed to talk to. Dimitri was. I should have went after him. I shouldn't have let that end the way it did. I could understand why he was angry. He had every right to be. I should have told him before I told Adrian. Maybe things would have worked out better. But there was something in my head that had to ask Adrian so I could make sure it wasn't his. When did things get so complicated?
I heard the front door open and shot up. Two hours had pasted since our talk. Er. . well argument. He avoided eye contact with me. He closed the door and finally looked at me. Mixed emotions played onto his face. I could see a little disappointment. Anger was still there but it wasn't overwhelming. He started walking over. I took a deep breath and I sat back down on the couch and he sat distantly away from me. I wanted to say something. I opened my mouth but words refused to come out. Just when I was about to force the words out he spoke.
"Whose is it? Adrians?" Dimitri asked suddenly. I swallowed. My tongue felt thick in my mouth. I knew this question was coming but I still didn't exactly know how to address it. For that matter I really didn't know.
"Uhmm. .I don't know." I told him after trying to figure out what to say. It was a stupid answer but it was the truth. He put his hands to his head and started rubbing his temples. Letting out soft swear words in Russian. I wanted to touch him,comfort him but the air between us was too oppressive.
"How don't you know?" He asked, the note in his voice showed he was struggling to stay calm.
"I just don't." I told him lamely. I felt my strength debilitating. He stayed quiet and continued rubbing his temples.
"I don't know how this could have happened. I wouldn't ever dream of doing it on purpose. I don't even believe I did. I would never ever hurt you. You have to believe that." I told him. He stayed silent for a while.
"I've done a lot of thinking. Rose, I'm not mad. . Okay I'm a little mad but I'm more upset. Are you sure its not Ivashkov's?" He said his name with animosity. I sighed.
"No, he wouldn't lie to me and plus he said he would remember having sex with me if he did." I told him. I made to see him writhe when I said 'having sex'.
He sighed and turned to me. I expected to be chastised about how stupid I had been or something. What I wasn't expecting was him taking my hand which abated the oppressive air.
"Look, Roza I'm sure it isn't mine. But we can work through this. Love is about accepting a person for there mistakes right? Well I guess I have to accept this because I love you." he said voice soft as if he couldn't believe he was saying these words. I swallowed. Tears built in my eyes and spilled over. He put a hand to my face and gently wiped the tear with his thumb.
"You are too good for me." I said sobbing. He pulled me into his chest. Something told me he was taking this a lot worse than he made it seem. I knew he was still mad. He was pushing it all aside. "I don't deserve you."
"Roza-"
"No, I don't. You have ever right to be mad. You should be repulsed to touch me. Even to look at me. You deserve way better. You have every right to divorce me. I'm only a downfall in your life." I sobbed. I didn't know if it was the hormones from the baby or if I really felt this way. My mind wrapped around being away from Dimitri forever. It hurt. A lot.
His warm hand wiped tears away from my face and turning it toward him.
"Roza, there is nothing more that I want than to be with you. What I said about the divorce earlier was out of anger and it shouldn't have been said at all. I love you despite all the downfall we endure. You are the one that keep things from falling apart." He assured me. I continued to sob.
"But-"
"But nothing. You have my heart and even if this isn't my child, I will treat him or her like it is." Dimitri said rubbing circles into my back. I didn't remember drifting off to sleep but I woke up in the morning wrapped in Dimitri's arms. I tried hard not to wake him as I got up. It wasn't that early and I wandered off to Adrian's after a short walk. When I came to his door, I thought twice about knocking. I ended up knocking anyways.
"Do you know how early it is," He hissed rubbing his eyes. I folded my arms and glared at him. He stopped rubbing his eyes and looked at me.
"Sorry Little Dhampir, I didn't know it was you." He apologized with a lazy smile. I pushed passed him despite his protests. It seemed like I was an angry girlfriend trying to catch him in the act of cheating. But instead of searching the whole suite I sat down on the couch.
"Little Dhampir, is there a reason you are here?" Adrian asked sounding a little nervous. His hair was messy and he only wore his boxer. I could tell I had just woken him up but I needed to see him say it to me in person.
"I need to know. In person. Did you?" I asked. He knew immediately and sighed.
"Rose, I told I would remember. We didn't do anything that night. As much as I wanted you and loved you I wouldn't do that to you. I knew how you felt and I wouldn't take advantage of the state of mind" He said brushing some hair out of my face. I sighed as tears built up in my eyes.
"I'ma slut. I slept with some random guy and I don't even know how Dimitri can accept this baby." I sobbed. I would have never thought I would ever call myself a slut considering I have only slept with one. . two guys in my life. I sighed mentally. I tried to replay all the events from that night. The spa, the bar with the boot and mechanical bull, the frat house, the tattoo parlor, the fire station, Adrian's hotel, and the sports club. I couldn't remember any place else.
"Its going to be okay. He loves you and you guys will work through this just like any other thing." Adrian said comforting me. He pulled me into him stroking my hair. I sobbed into his chest.
"Its gonna be okay Little Dhampir." He told me softly."Everything will be just fine. I'll make sure of that i'l-" He was cut off by someone clearing their throat.
"I uhh. . forgot you were here." Adrian said. I wiped my eyes and looked up. I seen Sydney looking back at me with one of Adrian's button up shirts on.
"I err. . didn't mean to ruin this." I told them getting up.
"Its fine Rose. I thought it was someone else. Maybe one of Adrian's ex-girlfriends." She said. I left out the protest that I had actually been Adrian's ex-girlfriend, because that was irrelevant. Plus I could have sworn I told her.
"Still. I didn't know. I'll be going. I will err. . see you guys later and hopefully fully dressed." I said with a small chuckle. Sydney blushed and Adrian accompanied me to the door.
"Bye, Little Dhampir. Things will be okay. And I didn't sleep with you that night." he told me. I saw in his eyes he was serious. I nodded and left back to my room. When I got there, Dimitri was pacing.
"Where have you been?" Dimitri shouted sounded more panicked than mad.
"I went for a walk." I told him. There was some truth in it but it wasn't the whole truth.
"I talked to Oksana and Mark." he said.
"And." I beckoned for him to go on.
"And they said that there has been one case as rare as it is, that a dhampir couple has had kids." He told me. Excitement and hope glinted in his eyes. Hope that I wanted to return but I didn't want him to get all worked up if in some way I really did screw up my marriage. I smiled but it slowly dropped when I came to this realization.
"What's wrong?" Dimitri asked putting his hands on my shoulder lightly. I shook my head.
"I'm fine, its just I can't believe it. It would be great if this was really our baby." I said.
"But?" he asked.
"But I don't want you to get all worked up if its not." I muttered quietly, almost not wanting him to hear.
"Even if its not I will love that baby regardless. It is god giving us a miracle to have kids and I'm happy to be with you." He said. I bit my lip fearing the tears might come back.
"Really?"
"Yes Roza, I love you." he told me, pulling me into a hug being careful of my stomach.
"I love you too." I said tears filling my eyes.
Ehhh.. Sucks yes I know. I'm just not in the mood to write this or my other story lately. That's why I've been slacking. Sorry but I will get the chapters up so don't give up on me just yet !
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