Well I kinda put off writing Harry, because I worried about not doing it good enough. Still actually don't think it is. But I might as well give it a shot, right?
28. Harry
1. Even though, whenever anyone hears about him sleeping in a cupboard for years they look horrified, it doesn't bother him all that much. For years that place was his, his personal space, his private refuge, somewhere he could cry, or think, or be alone.
And as strange as it seems, there's a kind of nostalgia about it – whenever he thinks of it, it's almost fondly. Because without his cupboard to go hide in, what would he have done?
(Of course, a bedroom may have worked just as well.)
2. Sometimes, when someone says something about his role in the war, about him being the wizarding world's saviour, he goes blank. Because, except for when one of his kids, or his nephews or nieces asks about it, he rarely allows himself to think about that time in his life. So it takes him a minute to realise the stranger in the street is talking about him.
And then, of course, he has to deal with the flood of memories. Sometimes, he really hates people.
3. He knows that people assume he named his children, and that Ginny had nothing to do with it. Even his own kids believe it. But, while he suggested the name James, Ginny chose Sirius, and suggested Albus, as well as Luna.So, when you think about it, it's pretty much even.
4. Once, Albus found an old article, written by Rita Skeeter in Harry's fourth year, describing Harry's "relationship" with Hermione. Al was about nine at the time, and got extremely upset, apparently convinced that his parents were going to split up and that Harry would marry Hermione.
To everyone's surprise, it was Ron who sat Al down and explained that there was never anything like that between them, that the woman was just lying. Harry still remembers the way Hermione beamed as Ron explained that she and Harry were like brother and sister.
5. Sometimes, James' reminds him so much of Sirius that it hurts. And while Harry knows there's no real way James could take after Harry's long-dead godfather, there's something of Sirius in him. Something, Harry supposes, of his own father in him. The familiarity of it causes stabs of pain, even as it causes stabs of pride.
Because there's far worse things James could do than act like Padfoot and Prongs.
6. He knows that Teddy is an important part of his family, and he loves the boy like a son. But often while Teddy was growing up, he had to force himself into creating some distance between them.
Because he was terrified that if he got too close to the boy, if Teddy regarded him as too much of a father figure, it would erase Remus from his heart. And he would never forgive himself for that.
7. One of the biggest arguments he and Ginny ever had was over Teddy. He accused her of being too close to Ted; she accused him of pushing Ted away. When he angrily yelled that she couldn't replace Tonks, she looked rather like she wanted to slap him.
"Tonks was my friend." She'd hissed, in a low, deadly voice. "And loving her son is the least I can do for her. Don't ever say I'm trying to replace her. Ever."
And he knew, really, that she wasn't trying to replace Tonks, that she couldn't anyway. And he knew, really, the he harboured some amount of jealousy over Teddy. Because they'd both lost their parents at a young age, but Harry gone to people who disliked him, Harry had faced neglect and hardship. Teddy lived with a grandmother who loved him, had a large system of people who loved and cared for him, and would face none of the horrors Harry had. And the fact that he was jealous of a young, orphaned boy who didn't truly understand why his parents weren't around, disgusted him.
8. He's consented to a small amount of interviews over the years. One of the most common questions he's faced is, "What is your proudest achievement?"
He knows they expect him to say his defeat of Voldemort, or his work as an Auror, or the wizarding orphanage he set up. But his answer is always the same two words. "My children."
9. When Lily told him she was seeing Scorpius Malfoy, the shock rendered him breathless. But then he noticed the way that her brothers were stood protectively on either side of her, and wondered if they suspected he'd lose his temper and hurt her. This shocked him more than her relationship, and enabled him to calmly discuss it with her.
It was only later that he wondered if the way James and Al had stood had been designed to manipulate him that way. Smart boys, his.
10. He has many sources of guilt, and the emotion seems to reside in him often. He still feels guilty over Sirius' death, and the deaths in the battle. He still feels guilty over his parents' deaths, because if not for his birth they would have lived. He especially feels that he ought to have protected his mother, because surely that what sons are supposed to do? Even if he was just a babe in arms, shouldn't he have done something? He feels guilt over the things he put Ron and Hermione through in their childhoods, and the way his children struggle to live up to his past, his name. He feels guilt over a million other things.
And he feels guilty that he considers Ron and Ginny's family his, that Molly and Arthur Weasley are like parents to him. Because he has parents, and he hates that he's tried to replace them.
