Remember the Name

A Naruto x Harry Potter Crossover

By

EvilFuzzy9

"As an individual, I myself feel impelled to fancy ... a limitless succession of Universes... Each exists, apart and independently, in the bosom of its proper and particular God."

- Edgar Allan Poe


A/N: I haven't been writing all that much, lately. But I've been tired lately, and it's been busy at our house lately. My younger brother, the middle one, Sky, is moving back in along with his girlfriend (he moved out of the house a year or two ago after our parents told that they would like him to start paying rent – just fifty dollars a month, really – since he was working and not really attending school).

I'm not clear on what exactly caused him to decide to move back in, but he is, and he and his girlfriend have been helping out with some long overdue cleaning. Now, I say "helping out", but honestly his girlfriend has been doing the bulk of the clean up and the rest of us are really just helping her. It's kind of unbelievable how capable and enthusiastic she is about cleaning house. Honestly, in our family, messiness is kind of the status quo. Most of us are terrible about tidying up, and entropy is quite evident in how things get scattered about. Mom, bless her heart, tries to keep the house clean, but she has a job of her own, and it's simply a losing battle.

But Sky's girlfriend, Tiff, is like some kind of human... cleaning thingy, and even the basement (which has always been something of a disaster zone) is actually starting to once again look fit for human habitation. It's amazing, really.

And then there's the cats.

Now, we have a cat, a fat maine-coon named Bella, but I'm not talking about her. No, I'm talking about the stray cat that moved into our basement some time during the winter. This stray... well, we knew for a while that she was down there, sneaking in and out through a hole in the foundation. We'd often see it or her, rather on the back porch whenever we went out there to do something or other, after all. But the kittens were a recent discovery.

Yes. A stray cat has been raising her kittens in our basement, which we have been cleaning out, living in the room under the stairs (which lead up to the back door, then up again to the back porch and a side door that we haven't used in forever due to aforementioned hole in the foundation causing the floor next to the door to basically be non-existant).

We have taken to calling her Mama Cat.

:3

Also, I recently registered at Pottermore. My username over there is NewtMugwump9268, and my house is Hufflepuff. And my wand is English oak, unicorn hair, 10 inches, and slightly springy.


"... Extendable Ears?" Ginny muttered questioningly, skeptically eying the flesh colored string that was dangling from her hand. "Is this for real?"

Ron shrugged, looking to the twins for help. "I dunno," he told her, "Fred and George insisted on having you join us, so we haven't been able to try them out yet..." His eyes went to an identical string that was hanging to his own hand.

"What," said Fred, sounding affronted, "don't you trust our merchandise?"

"Weasley's Wizard Wheezes stocks only the finest in mischief making materials," added George.

"If there's anyone you can trust to help you cause trouble," Fred continued, "it's us."

Hermione shook her head in exasperation. "Yes, yes, that's an excellent sales pitch," she said dismissively, "But do they work? That's the question."

George sniffed theatrically. "Of course they work —" he said.

"— Why wouldn't they?" Fred concluded.

Ginny rolled her eyes. "It wouldn't be the first time you foisted a faulty prototype on us," she said bluntly with a nonchalant shrug. The twins made faked cries of outrage in response to this.

The five of them – Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Fred, and George – were gathered on the landing above the door to the basement kitchen, where the Order of the Phoenix was currently conducting a secret meeting. Apparently, Fred and George were just as curious about the Order's secretive agenda as the rest of them, and had been working on a way to listen in on the meetings and find out what exactly the Order was doing.

And, at least according to the twins, they had finally succeeded in this with the creation of their Extendable Ears. According to them, their Extendable Ears would enable easy eavesdropping with minimal risk of being caught. The Extendable Ears were completely inconspicuous, they claimed, and could be quickly reeled in at a moment's notice. These were just prototypes, with no additional features, but they were hopeful about further improving them with such things as automatic disillusionment and quick casting-retracting capabilities as well as extended range. But that was for the future, they said. The Extendable Ears worked fine, and just needed a field test, or so they insisted.

Ron was excited about the opportunity to finally learn more about the activities of the organization that would no doubt be instrumental in thwarting the plans of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, if a bit wary of the duo's invention and their track record for testing their unpredictable prototypes on him. Hermione and Ginny, however, were considerably more skeptical. They didn't trust the twins and their experiments any further than they could throw them – a good deal less, really.

"I just don't think this is a good idea," Hermione said, pressing the attack, "There are so many things that could go wrong even if these do work perfectly, and that is rather dubious, honestly..."

"She's right, you know!" Ginny added in a fierce whisper, being careful not to draw any unwanted attention to them. "You haven't given us any good reasons to trust these things!" She waved her own Extendable Ear in Fred's and George's faces to punctuate her point. "Who's to say these won't transfigure our ears into turnips the second we try to use them, huh?"

"We're to say," said Fred, smiling indulgently at his little sister. "Right, Fred?"

"Right you are, George!" George nodded. "We wouldn't joke around about something this serious —"

"— Yes you would," Ginny deadpanned without missing a beat

"— and turning ears into vegetables is old hat, anyways, eh Fred?" George concluded, looking at Fred.

"Eh, George," Fred nodded.

Ron groaned, tearing at his hair. "Oy, quit that!" he insisted.

Fred cocked an eyebrow at his little brother. "Quit what?" he asked, "We aren't doing anything, are we, Fred?"

"Don't believe so, George," said George, shaking his head. "Are you sure you're quite right in the head there, Ronniekins?" he asked facetiously, trying and failing to stifle a snicker.

Ron scowled at the pair of incorrigible jokers, and he was joined by Ginny and Hermione.

"Don't act like you aren't doing anything!" Hermione huffed lowly, pinning the duo with an unamused glare. "We came here because you insisted that this was something serious, but if you're just going to keep making jokes, then —"

Whatever she was going to say next, it was drowned out by the distinctive sound of someone rapping their knuckles on the front door.

"Ah, it sounds like Samui's back," they heard Lupin declare quite loudly and awkwardly.

"Yes, it does, doesn't it?" they heard Mr Weasley declare in a similarly over-loud voice, his words being pronounced in a distinctly stiff, forced tone. "Why don't I go get the door for her, then..."

"No, Weasley —" the quintet flinched at the sound of Snape's voice, practically able to hear the sneer that was no doubt on his face, "— I will get it."

"N-no, no," they heard Mr Weasley nervously continue, "There's no need for you to get up. Allow me, I insist."

They didn't hear Snape's response to this, if he made any, but a moment later they saw the knob on the kitchen door turning, and they quickly made themselves scarce by ducking inside a nearby door.

They heard familiar footsteps echoing up from the basement landing, footsteps the pattern and tempo of which had been permanently ingrained into the psyche of every non-Slytherin student to attend Hogwarts in the last fifteen years. Fred, George, Ginny, Hermione, and Ron unconsciously held their breath as they heard the much feared and hated (though mostly by students) Professor Severus Snape make his way up the stairs and down the corridor leading to the front door.

Snape's pace was not hurried, but neither was it exactly leisurely. He moved at just the speed he needed to in order to get where ever it was he needed to go, no faster, and no slower. He had a gift for hurrying without seeming in any way the least bit hurried, really. No known student during the entirety of Professor Snape's tenure at Hogwarts had ever seen the man break out into a run, and the man had carefully cultivated a certain nasty mystique that made him seem to be more along the lines of something like a particularly greasy, mean-spirited vampire than any sort of human. He never had any need for haste, the upper years would always say, because Professor Snape was always exactly where he needed to be, precisely when he needed to be there, to make the most misery for Gryffindors, Hufflepuffs, and Ravenclaws.

The quintet's hearts nearly stopped when they heard Snape's footsteps come to a stop outside the door they had hidden behind. They could see, in their minds' eyes, the spiteful potions master glaring icily at them through the door, as though his eyes were just as capable as Moody's at seeing through solid objects. They could faintly hear him mutter something unpleasant-sounding under his breath, and for an instant they feared that they had been found out. But after a few agonizing seconds of wondering whether he was going to get it over with and just throw the door open already, they finally heard his footsteps resume onwards in the direction of the front door, and they let out a collective sigh of relief.

"That was too close,"Ron whispered weakly, his face so pale you could have counted his freckles.

Hermione nodded in agreement, though it was a little difficult, considering how her chin was pressing into the lanky redhead's shoulder. It was a very tight fit, inside the room. It was so cluttered with detritus that one could scarcely go more more than a foot from the door without getting buried beneath decades of junk. She was being veritably between Ron and a big, ugly, moldy cabinet, and Ron was honestly not faring much better with Ginny being squished into him by the twins, who were themselves barely able to breathe pinned as they were against a cracked and weathered gargoyle (though what it was doing in there was anyone's guess).

"Yes," Hermione agreed, her voice so low that her words were more breathed than spoken, "It really seemed like Snape had caught us, for a moment there..."

Ron shook his head, which was the only part of him that he could freely move (it was times like this that he thanked whoever it was up there that had decided to make him so bloody tall), his cheeks faintly red in the dim light of the room.

"I don't mean that," he murmured awkwardly, trying not to shift his position to much. "I mean... it's..."

Hermione flushed as she became aware of just how compromising their current position was.

Ginny gave a mortified squeak, jumping up with a start. "Ron!" she hissed.

"I'm sorry!" he squawked, "It's Hermione, she's right there, and her — her — are — !"

"Well, get off of her, then!" Ginny snapped as quietly and impatiently as she could manage in the present situation.

"... I can't," Ron whimpered.

Ginny twisted around, trying as best she could to avoid pressing against her brother, but she was stuck between him and the twins and there wasn't much room to move. She gave her brother a nasty glare. "And why NOT?" she spat, scarcely bothering to lower her voice.

"You're right on top of me!" Ron quietly whined, causing Ginny to huff and flush and the twins to snigger.

"Oh, this is gold, George!" Fred whispered not-so-quietly.

"Too true, Fred," George agreed. "Wait until the others hear about this. Why, I bet they'll —"

"Don't you DARE!"Ron and Ginny hissed as one, practically spitting fire as they rounded on the two.

"If anyone ever heard about this, I'd die of embarrassment!" said Ginny.

"We're not those kinds of purebloods!" Ron added frantically, "Even the Malfoy's aren't those kinds of purebloods!"

"If either of you ever breathes a word about this to anyone, I'll kill the both of you!" Ginny hissed ferociously, her voice dripping with a feminine menace to similar to their mum's for the twins' tastes. "Understand?"

Fred and George sweat-dropped nervously for a moment, before sharing a look with one another and nodding.

Fred smiled all too sweetly for it to be genuine. "Yes, we understand," he whispered, "Right, Fred?"

"Right you are, George," said George, a smile identical to his twin's adorning his face. There was a twinkle in his eye, which Fred mirrored.

Ron glowered at the two, leaning forward over Ginny, who stifled a squeak and shot a dirty look at her brother.

"No, I don't think you do," he whispered surprisingly dangerously, ignoring Ginny's protests as he leaned in even closer until his nose was nearly poking Fred in the eye. His eyes were hard and narrow. He was being remarkably intimidating, and the twins were actually rather impressed.

... at least, until Ron crumpled bonelessly to the floor after a sharp elbow to the gut courtesy of a fuming, red-faced Ginny, who was finally able to scoot out of the five person pile up.

"Watch what you're doing, you great bloody pillock!" the only daughter of Molly and Arthur Weasley hissed at the youngest of her older brothers. "I mean, really...!"she sighed, shaking her head in annoyance.

"Methinks dear Ginniekins doth protest too much, eh, Fred?" George snickered, causing Ginny to whip around with a livid expression on her face.

"Eh, George," Fred agreed, before ducking a swing from an irate Ginny.

"I'll kill you!" the youngest Weasley hissed, swiping her arms wildly at the twins as she struggled against the hold of one Hermione Weasley... er... Granger [1].

With Ron laid out wheezing on the floor, they were no longer packed together like anchovies, and were once more free to move about, even if there wasn't much space to do so in the room. Naturally, Ginny wanted to use this freedom of movement to beat Fred and George into a barely recognizable pulp, and Hermione of course was opposed to such a violent course of action and tried to restrain Ginny while the twins huddled up in a corner far away from the girls and Ron caught his breath on the floor.

But then all five of them froze when they heard the approaching footsteps and voices that reminded them why they'd crammed themselves into that room in the first place.

They were perfectly silent, deathly afraid of being caught by Snape. As the five stood stock still in the cluttered room, they heard the voice of an older man speaking with Hogwarts' resident potions master.

"... I still don't see why you joined Albus's little club in the first place. It doesn't seem like your kind of crowd..."

"Who's to say I really did?" they heard Snape sneer coldly in response. "After all, I am a spy, aren't I?"

TTFN and R&R!


[1]: Honest to God, I have no idea how it happened, but I actually typed "Hermione Weasley" by complete accident, and then decided to make a one-off gag of it, like I often do with notable or funny typos.


translation notes:

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[This chapter sponsored by B.I.A.S. – boners in awkward situations. Because I am incorrigible.]