Hello everyone!

Look who's back finally!

First thing first, I wish you all a very, very happy and successful year!

Then, once more, I'm very sorry for the lateness of this chapter... I really feel like I'm repeating myself constantly...

Anyway, this chapter is the perfect proof that I always go back to my prompts even if they were sent to me an eternity ago. I just hope you will read that chapter TeganL74 because it's been a very long time since I've read from you :(.

So, this is a continuation from chapters 20 and 21. I hope you'll like it! I can't wait to have your opinion.

Until next time!


Prompt by: TeganL74
Oh no, I've thought of another reason to continue...what if someone found Gaius for him, and they could be reunited? Lovely thought.


Like I always have

It took only one week for Arthur to leave his apartment and move in with Gwen and, of course, they invited Merlin to share the house too. It may not have been very large but it was enough for the three of them and they were happy to be together again.

They spent most of their evenings talking about Camelot or learning about their new modern days lives.

Arthur quickly went back to work despite his promise to stay with Merlin. But the warlock understood and assured him he would be quite fine alone.

Gwen still spent her days in her little bookshop and sometimes Merlin came to help her but most of the time he just found himself wandering the streets lost in his thoughts.

Everything felt strange to him.

Of course, he was delighted that Gwen and Arthur were back but at the same time it brought back memories of all of his other friends in Camelot and served to remind him exactly how much he missed them. How much he missed his home.

And sometimes it felt as if those last days had only been a dream. A very pleasant dream but not reality. And it was in those moments that fear and depression gripped him so hard that for a moment he was unable to breathe and had to stop himself from running back to where he knew Gwen or Arthur would be at the time.

He didn't dare tell them how he felt. In fact, he still spent most of his time lying to them. This time, not about his magic but about his feelings.

It wasn't their fault, they had asked him about what he had gone through during his long wait but he wouldn't, couldn't, talk about it. He didn't want to put such a weight on their shoulders. And he didn't want them to see him any differently from the young man he had been in Camelot.

He didn't want them to know how very lonely and afraid he still felt.

He didn't want to tell them of everything he had seen, of all the times he had failed.

He wanted to live in the present.

But still he was unable to forget. The pain. The waiting. The feeling that all this suffering had been for nothing.


But, of course, times has changed and Arthur was another man, a man with different experiences. His memories of Camelot gave him a new insight into Merlin and of his friend's feelings and capacity to hide things, important things.

And that was why he found himself following Merlin one night as the man took a walk in the streets of London, on the day his ex-manservant had been unusually silent

The warlock ended up sitting on a park bench elbows resting on his tights and for a moment, Arthur just watched his friend from a distance, knowing something was bothering his friend but not knowing how to approach him.

A far off bell had chimed midnight before he finally took a deep breath and went to sit down next to Merlin. The man in question tensed slightly but didn't acknowledge the once and future king.

"So..."Arthur began awkwardly. "What's bothering you?"

"Nothing."The warlock answered quickly and automatically.

"Merlin... I know you think it but I'm not actually that stupid anymore."

The other man sighed audibly and draw himself back to lean on the back of the bench, looking up at the star-filled sky.

"It's not important."

"If I have learned one thing, it's that with you there's no such thing as not important." Arthur snorted, trying to lighten the mood.

Merlin let out an humorless laugh. "Since when did you become so clear-sighted my lord?"

"Since I became aware of how much you've done for me without me even suspecting."

"Gwen told you then." Merlin sighed again, closing his eyes tiredly.

"Of course she did. I'm her husband. And your friend. But I have the feeling she doesn't know everything, does she? She only knows what Gaius told her before leaving Camelot and that wasn't everything, was it?" Arthur asked gently.

Merlin didn't answer. He didn't want to talk with Arthur about his past life. Arthur sighed.

"Tell me what is bothering you Merlin." He insisted after a long silence.

"It's… Stupid." The warlock relented.

"Coming from you I wouldn't expect anything else." Arthur joked and was relieved to see the corners of his friend's mouth lift in a small smile. "Come on, tell me."

Merlin took a deep breath and straightened himself.

"It's just with you and Gwen here… It feels like it's not real sometimes… And… It's reminding me of the others… The Knights… Gaius… My mother…" He interrupted himself, clearing his throat. "I've waited so long for your return and I always believed you would be the only one returning. But now, there's Gwen…"

"And you wonder if the others are back too." Arthur suggested softly when Merlin stopped speaking again.

"Yes… And no… I don't want to let myself hope if they're not there. But I miss them all… So much."

"Why don't you look for them? Can't your magic find them?"

Merlin shook his head softly.

"I don't want to. I won't be able to cope if I don't find them. And even if I do, I couldn't force them to remember…"

"You did it for me." Arthur remarked.

"Not on purpose."

"You would have left me without my memories of Camelot?" The King exclaimed, surprised and confused.

"Well, you have a normal life on your own. Why would you have needed them for? I guess that maybe one day I would have had no other choice that to reawaken them but in the mean time…"

Arthur gaped at his friend and his unselfishness. He would have willingly condemned himself to watch him live his life without remembering him just because he thought he wasn't important enough to be remembered.

"Merlin…"

"As I said." The warlock interrupted, getting up. "It's stupid. Come on, we'd better go home, I'm sure Gwen will wonder where you are."

"Merlin…" Arthur tried to protest.

"I'm fine Arthur, really." The other man lied so convincingly that Arthur almost, almost believed him.

He knew, however, that it would bring nothing to argue further with Merlin, the man was far too stubborn for his own good and instead stood up and followed his friend all the while promising himself he wouldn't let this situation continue for long.

They quickly arrived back to their house and Merlin excused himself to his bedroom before Arthur had even had time to take his shoes off. He shook his head and slowly removed his coat before making his way as silently as possible to his bedroom. He was surprised to find Gwen awake when he sliped through the door.

"Guinevere?" He breathed surprised. "I thought you were asleep.

"Well… I was worried too… How's Merlin."

"He says he's fine." Arthur answered, slipping out of his clothes and into the bed to take his wife in his arms.

"But you don't believe him." She guessed with a smile.

"Of course not."

"What are you going to do then?"

"Find the others. Beginning with Gaius." He answered and Gwen smiled proudly at him, snuggling in his side.


The next day, Arthur woke up feeling like he was entrusted with a very important mission. It almost felt like the old days when he was preparing to go on a quest. He took his breakfast alone with Gwen as Merlin was nowhere to be seen before he quickly left, eager to begin his search for his former court physician.

He arrived to the police station with a purposeful step and greeted his colleagues almost absent-mindedly before sitting himself down in front of his computer.

Then came the hard part. How do you find a reincarnated medieval physician? He opened the police database and entered Gaius' name on the first field before validating.

To his dismay this sole request gave him thousands of answers, making him frown unhappily.

Seeing that he was the same age that when he died so he supposed without much risk that it would be the same for the Physician. He excluded all the results of men under fifty years. Best be large.

It helped but there were still far too many results. He sighed, tapping his fingers on his desk.

A few minutes later and he decided that he could began searching the people who had a medical profession.

Only a couple hundred results. This can be dealt with.

Two hours later and he was still shifting through file after file, feeling despair and discouragement creeping on him. He straightened himself and stretched for a few minutes before concentrating once again on his computer and then, finally, came across the photo of a slightly different but still unmistakable Gaius.

He felt like crying out in relief and jumping around his office like a child.

Loosing no time he printed Gaius' file and checked his address. A small town just on the outskirt of London. It wouldn't take more than two hours to get there.

Losing no time, he grabbed his key and, ignoring the strange looks his colleagues were sending him, almost ran out of the door.


The usual morning traffic jams had been pure torture for Arthur but after three hours he finally came to a stop in front of a small cottage with a white fence and a great garden that could be seen from the road.

He took a deep breath as he gathered his courage. He got out of his car and rang the doorbell, hoping the old man was there. The few minutes that it took for the door to open felt an eternity to Arthur but in the end he was rewarded with being face to face with Gaius.

"Hello." The old man gritted with a kind smile that made Arthur's heart aches with the familiarity of it. "What can I do for you?"

Once more, the once and future king found himself at a loss for words and gaped ineffectively at his former physician. The older man lifted an eyebrow at him.

"Oh… Yeah… Hello…" Arthur cleared his throat, feeling awkwardly. "My name is Arthur Pendragon."

He searched Gaius' face attentively and saw something flash in his eyes.

"Can I talk to you for a few minutes?"

"Yes. Of course. Come in, my dear, I've just made some tea."

Arthur nodded and followed Gaius inside the house. Strangely, he immediately felt at home there. It was like a modern version of the cluttered physician's chambers with a jumble of books and plants and paintings.

"Follow me, we can sit in the kitchen."

They sat down in the small kitchen and Gaius presented Arthur with a mug of tea and some biscuits which he gratefully began eating – he had had breakfast a long time ago and was feeling quite hungry.

"So you wanted to talk to me about something?"

"Yes… But it's… Complicated and… Well… It's going to sound really mad but… Hum…."

Arthur interrupted himself. That was far more complicated than what he thought.

"Doesn't my name remind you of someone?" He finally asked.

Gaius watched him curiously for a few seconds before answering.

"I believe your namesake was the great and legendary king of Camelot."

Arthur nodded.

"Yeah, well, that's me."

Silence fell on the room and then Gaius was laughing.

"That's very funny young man but you really shouldn't make fun of an old man. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have others things to do." The old man pushed himself up and showed Arthur the door, clearly notifying that their discussion was closed.

"No, please wait! It's the truth!"

"Listen, I've spent my whole life studying the Arthurian legends! And you should be ashamed to play a trick like that on an old man life's work!"

Arthur gaped at his friend but raised his hands in a placating gesture.

"I'm sorry. But please, you must listen to me. I was King Arthur and you were my court physician! Surely if you spent your life researching Camelot it's because you remember that somewhere in the corners of your mind! You have to remember!" Arthur cried out despairingly. "We fought dragons and witches together! And as a child you always took care of me! And you've got to remember Merlin! He needs you!"

Something seemed to spark in Gaius' eyes again but once more it was gone quickly, replaced by anger.

"This is quite enough! Now get out of here!" He commanded, steering a stunned Arthur forcibly through the house and out of the door.

The former king could only stare as the front door was slammed at his nose.

He sighed deeply. So much for trying to make Gaius remember. Despair crawled at his heart. He had wanted so much to give someone back to Merlin, to, for once, be the friend the other man needed and look how that turned out.

On an impulse, he took one of his cards and wrote a small note on the back of it before sticking it through the door with an inward prayer.

I know you don't believe me but if one day you remember, call me. Merlin needs his guardian.


During the rest of the day, the encounter played itself in Arthur's mind as he tried to search for something he could have done differently. Maybe he shouldn't have blurted the truth out like that. Maybe he should have taken Merlin with him.

He scratched that idea immediately. That would had have been far too cruel for the other man. Gaius' rebuke had been hard enough for Arthur, he didn't even want to think about how painful it would have been for Merlin. He had seen more than a glimpse of it the first time he had met Merlin in this life.

By five o' clock, he had decided that he wouldn't usefully achieve anything else so he took his coat and went to his car to drive to Gwen's bookshop and surprise her. And because he needed to see his wife.

He parked across of the little shop and took a moment to observe Gwen through the front window as she talked to a middle aged woman, showing her some books with a smile. The woman nodded and Gwen turned away to let her chose and only then did Arthur notice that Merlin was organizing books a few paces away.

Arthur sighed for the umpteenth time of the day, feeling defeated before straightening his back. He got out of his car and entered the shop just as Merlin left through a backdoor. Gwen looked up from her computer and grinned at him.

She quickly made her way to him and Arthur squeezed her against his chest with perhaps a bit too much force.

"Arthur?" She asked confusedly, sensing something wasn't right. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." He said and let go of her;

"Don't lie to me Arthur Pendragon." She chided softly.

Arthur looked around him to make sure they were alone before whispering.

"I found Gaius."

"What?" Gwen cried out, a happy smile already making its way to her face. "But that's…"

"Don't… He doesn't remember." Arthur shook his head sadly.

"Oh…." Gwen sighed sadness spreading over her too. She would have said something else but a crash made themselves aware of Merlin's return. "We have to tell him! Maybe he can…"

"No." Arthur deadpanned quickly. "Not a word to Merlin. Gwen, please. Trust me."

She seemed to hesitate but then nodded slowly.

"Arthur?" Merlin asked as he entered the room. "What are you doing here so early? Is everything alright?"

"Yes! Of course! I just thought that for once I would finish early to see my wife."

Merlin looked at him unconvinced for a few seconds and then nodded.

"Right, yeah. Where do I put these Gwen?"

Gwen gulped deeply, eyes fixed on Arthur's for a long time before replying.

"They go here in the front. But leave them like that, we can organize them tomorrow."

The king nodded his thanks silently and watched as Merlin struggled with the large pile of books that he settled on an empty corner of a table with a small smile.


Three weeks later, on a Wednesday morning, Arthur's phone rang with an unknown number displayed.

"Arthur Pendragon." He said in the receiver.

"Hello! It's… Hum… Gaius Brown speaking."

"Gaius! Oh hello! How are you?"

"Fine. I… I thought about what you said and… Well… I'm not saying that I believe you… I was just wondering if you were willing to tell me a bit more."

"Yes! Yes! Of course! I could come to your place any time that suits you!" Arthur immediately proposed, joy and relief spreading in him.

"No. That won't be necessary. As it is I am in London right now to visit a friend so maybe we can meet somewhere?"

Arthur lost no time in giving Gaius the address of a café down the street from the police station and they agreed to meet there within the hour.

Which meant that Arthur spent the next fifty minutes mostly staring at his computer, waiting for the time to pass. Which it did, only far too slowly.

Finally he left, sitting himself down at one of the table on the terrace, waiting for Gaius.

After half an hour of waiting, Arthur was beginning to think that his former Physician wouldn't come and was debating calling him when a voice called him. He turned to see Merlin approaching him with raised eyebrows.

"Merlin?" He asked, feeling panic entering his bloodstream. "What are you doing here?"

"I… Hum… I…." Merlin spluttered and the king swore he saw him blushing before he drew himself up. "I could ask you the same question!"

"Well, I'm just drinking a coffee. But you're not answering my question."

Merlin opened his mouth to answer but at that exact moment, Gaius appeared behind him.

"Mister Pendragon?" He asked and Arthur saw how Merlin froze at the voice.

His eyes widened with a myriad of emotion and he stared at his friend.

"Arthur, what did you do?" He breathed voice low and angry.

Arthur ignored him and got up, extending his hands to shake arm with the old man that came to stand next to Merlin.

"Gaius, I'm glad you came. This is my friend…"

"Don't." Merlin interrupted taking care not to let his eyes land anywhere near his mentor, pain and longing clearly written on his face. "How could you even do that Arthur?"

"If you could excuse us a minute. Sit down. We'll be right back." The former king said and steered if friend away by the elbow.

Only a few steps away and Merlin shook free of his hold and turned towards him and Arthur could safely say he had never seen the other man look so furious.

"I can't believe you!" He cried out angrily.

"And I you! I thought you would be happy to see Gaius again!"

Merlin cringed and seemed to deflate, eyes turning sad.

"You don't understand."

"Then explain to me."

Merlin sighed.

"This Gaius is an old man. He had lived a long and hopefully happy life. His life in Camelot was not just happy Arthur, he too had to suffer more than you think. Do you really want to give him those memories back?"

Arthur opened his mouth but closed it again quickly, thinking.

"That's what I thought." Merlin said, nodding. He began walking away but Arthur stopped him.

"But what about you?" He asked.

Merlin sighed, hanging his head and shaking it softly.

"I don't matter Arthur."

And with that he went back to the table were Gaius sat, excused himself for his previous behavior and quickly shook his hand. And then he was gone. But not before Arthur had the time to see the raw agony deep in Merlin's eyes as another of his former friend didn't recognize him.

Arthur suddenly felt guilty at forcing his friend through that. Again. He breathed deeply before joining Gaius. He sat down in front of the old man but he didn't seem to notice it. His eyes were lost at the place where Merlin had stood.

"Gaius?" Arthur asked, frowning.

"That… That was Merlin." He finally said after a very long time, gaze shifting back on Arthur.

Arthur thought he could cry with relief at the recognition in the old man's eyes and didn't think before getting up and hugging the old man who laughed slightly.

"It's so good to have you back Gaius!"

"Thank you Sire. Good to see you alive too."

Silence fell for a moment as Arthur let Gaius bask in his newfound memories.

"So… What's the matter with Merlin?" The physician finally asked.

Arthur rubbed a hand on his face tiredly.

"He's… Changed…" The former king began, not really knowing how to explain to the other man what was wrong as it wasn't anything you could see if you just watched the warlock. It was more of a feeling.

"What do you mean?"

"I've had my memories back a bit more than a month now." Arthur explained. "And quickly after that we found Gwen. And then we began living together with Merlin and…. Well, I thought he was happy you know… But then I began noticing that sometimes, when he thought no one was watching, his gaze would turn sad... And at nights he often would go out. One night I followed him and asked what was bothering him and he finally told me that he was missing you and the others. So I thought I would find you but… I don't know why he reacted that way." Arthur finished lamely, shaking his head.

"I think I do." Gaius finally said. "Merlin… Has always been a very private person. Even with me he wouldn't always share his feelings but I know him. And what I know is that he wouldn't want anyone to be sacrificed for him and I think he believes that giving me my memories back would be some kind of a suffering."

"He told me he didn't matter." Arthur added and Gaius nodded sagely.

"Merlin has always been far too self sacrificing for his own good. We'd better go and find him."

Arthur readily agreed and lead Gaius to his car and drove back to their shared flat even if he didn't think Merlin would go back there. He was quickly proved right.

"Where could he be?" Gaius asked and Arthur thought about it.

"I think I have an idea. Follow me."

Arthur leaded Gaius outside and tried to remember the way Merlin had taken the night he had followed him. It was just an instinct but he had the feeling the warlock had spent more time in this small park than they thought.

It took twenty minutes but they finally arrived in the secluded area and sure enough Merlin was there, sitting in the same spot as last time.

Arthur took a step forward but Gaius stopped him.

"I think I'll go there alone if you don't mind Sire."

"Yes… Yes, of course." Arthur squeezed the older man shoulder and turned away.


Once Gaius was alone he entered the park and made his way towards the bench where his ward was sitting, hunched up on himself. Upon approaching he noticed that the man was trembling, eyes tightly shut, tears streaming down his familiar features.

Gaius felt a pang on joy spread through him as well as worry.

Two more steps and he sat himself down next to Merlin.

He didn't say anything but draw the still young looking man towards him and hugged him as tightly as he could. He sensed Merlin hesitate for a few moments before reciprocating the hug, his thin arm making their way around Gaius middle.

The physician felt him crying and began rubbing his back.

"Shhh Merlin… It's alright. I'm here now. I'm here for you." Gaius said softly.

And for a long time they stayed like that, enjoying each other's presence and warmth.

"I've missed you so much…" Merlin finally breathed, his voice rough and fragile as he pushed himself up.

"I know. And I've missed you. I may not have remembered you in this life but I always had this feeling of something important missing in my life." Gaius explained, making sure that his ward understood what he was saying.

"I'm sorry…"

"Oh my boy… Don't… You have nothing to be sorry for. This isn't your fault."

"You don't understand Gaius… It's been so long! I've seen so many things… So many… And…It changed me… Sometimes I didn't even recognize me… And… It scares me…" Merlin confessed.

"Don't worry Merlin." Gaius said, once more hugging Merlin against him, just like he had always been doing whenever his adopted-son needed comfort. "I'm sure everything will be okay with time. You just need to adapt and I'm going to help you."

"Like you always have." Merlin added.

"Like I always have." Gaius confirmed with a nod, ruffling his ward's dark locks with a fond smile. "Like I always have."


So... What do you think? Bad?

Oh, and, little side note. For my fellow Sherlockians, have a hug for tonight in advence. Personally, I am so very not ready.