Little bit of a filler chapter, sorry you guys! But you get two in one day- How awesome!

The anger and sadness running through me was like liquid fire in my veins. It hurt so much to think about James, and everything that had happened to him, and now he had died before he ever had the chance to be saved. It hurt so much inside that Roach could just pass it over as it were nothing. My knees grew weak at the thought, but I kept running blindly, pushing past twigs and branches that scratched my face and arms. Eventually, the weight of it all just made me collapse.

I fell into a nearby tree and sunk to the ground, tears streaking my face, making the scratches sting and burn. I sobbed, feeling my body shake with exhaustion. I had had almost no water the past few days, past week even, and minimal food. I had had plenty of sleep, but it had been fitful. I was wounded, bleeding, and I questioned whether or not my body would give up on me, just like James' had to him.

I could barely hear the pounding of feet that rushed up to me. I buried my face in my hands, hearing the panting of whoever came after me. I knew it had to be Roach. I hid my face further, and called out weakly.

"Go away! I don't want to talk to you!" I didn't even care how stupid I looked. I hurt all over, and was on the brink of losing it. I might have already gone off the edge, my strength ebbing as Brutus' blood had spilled from the wound I had inflicted. It could have been when I was on the brink of blacking out when I had lost my finger, or it could have been just moments ago, informed of James' death. I just didn't know, but I was almost positive there was no going back. I expected Roach's comforting voice, which was the last thing I wanted to hear, speaking to me, but rather, it was another one I knew and craved for at the moment.

"I would just be happy to be here with you. You don't have to say a word." The thick, but silky words drifted to me through my tears and pain, and the moment earlier in the morning drew me to my senses. I sniffed, my turn to recover from tears in front of the other, and looked up. Matvei was standing casually in front of me, not looking at me, or anything really. Now, I repaid the favor he gave me this morning. I moved over a bit, making room for him next to me. He sat down, taking the offer. I tried hard not to sob again, my breath hitching in my throat. He surprised me again by draping an arm around my shoulders. I stiffened at first, but then relaxed as the words spilled from my mouth.

"I just can't believe he's dead. He was one of the strongest ones! I thought that he would surely make it." My throat sounded parched, which it was, but Matvei seemed not to care. His other hand gently moved a piece of hair from in front of my face.

"So did I" he told me. "Even the strongest can be struck down. You brought down my uncle. Not even I was strong enough to do that. I think that you are the strongest." The memory of Brutus that he stirred up stung my insides and I spoke what I thought, not even trying to filter it. I was beyond caring. He could have my secrets, my thoughts, and my soul for all I cared.

"I am nothing more than a coward, a killer too. I cry, I run, I can't do anything brave. Rather than defend myself properly, I killed a man." He looked at me rather sternly, and removed his arm. The change in his face was drastic. It was as if a storm cloud had rolled in, turning his eyes to shadows and making his whole face angry. His voice trembled with deadly rage when he spoke, the hate coming off in toxic undercurrents.

"You are NOT a coward. My uncle was the coward. He hurt a thirteen year old girl who had no defense, and was about to kill you. He killed and tormented men who had all dignity torn from them, and couldn't even move away from his assaults. I couldn't even become brave enough to strike him down. You, you did. You did what no one else could have, because you are brave. Right now, you are not a coward. You are angry, and have every right to be. Something precious was taken from you, and we can't fix that." His words slowly became softer, less acidic, and I realized they held truth in them, and wisdom far beyond his years. He had seen a lot too, and gone through a lot as well. I took in a deep breath, only to find his arm returned around my shoulders. It relaxed me immediately. I started talking again, taking the mental filter off.

"But what about back there? I just lost it, didn't I? What about Roach?" Matvei sighed softly, and his words were gentle when he spoke.

"That man, Roach, he loves you like a sister. I would know, because I had a sister. I know you were angry, but those words hurt him. I could see it. I think you have to go and fix it. You made him hurt for something he could not control. I know that you are angry, but you need not take it out on him. If anyone, you should be angry at me. I should have gotten you out sooner." I shook my head, nearly pushed to tears again as I thought about what I said. I might as well have made a sword and pushed it through his heart. I had had no right to accuse him of not being there for me. I couldn't blame a soul except for the man I had just killed and Makarov for ordering it in the first place. I had taken my instability and anger out on someone who loved me. I bit back tears that threatened to spill once more, but directed my attention on speaking to Matvei.

"Do you think I could fix it?" He nodded, his words firm and sure.

"Yes, I do. Would you like me to take you back?" I nodded, and he took my hand and helped me up. My feet shook under me, the toll of everything coming together hurting once again. He gave my hand a comforting squeeze.

"We have food and water. You will feel better, I promise." I nodded, having to believe him. My battered body was feeling the effects of the past week strongly, even more so now that I had wasted all of my conserved and much needed energy on a mindless sprint. I realized only about halfway back that Matvei was supported most of my weight. I tried to take some of my own, but he shook his head.

"Don't waste your energy." I nodded, realizing how painful everything was. When we finally got back to the others, Roach was sitting on a log, staring miserably at the ground. Ice was doing something that I couldn't exactly understand with some vines and sticks. Roach's head turned up immediately once he saw me. His eyes were shining, but no tears were falling. Part of me smiled in side. I think sometimes men's testosterone blocked up their tear glands. Matvei helped me over to him, and before I knew it I was in his arms, crying again. He took me in the embrace, and we stood like that for the longest time.

There you go! That's all for today, sorry, and maybe tomorrow. Or a few days. I hope not though!