The Demon Barber is Alive!
Chapter 28: Merrh…/Lovett Puddle
A/N:
This chapter is dedicated to Biohazrd23 for his awesome inspiration, read his resident evil parody: Fun at the Mansion!
THANKS BIOHAZRD23!!!!
Driven has decided to kidnap Biohazrd23 for the time being.
She pulls a few levers and flicks a few switches and he is standing before her.
He frowns at her, "I am sick of you, and your magic tricks!"
Driven picks Pyro up, "Hello friendly friend…DISCLAIM!!!!!"
Hazrd sticks the finger up at her, "Driven owns nothing,"
Will stops screaming when he does not feel fangs on his neck.
Instead he hears laughter. The man lets him go and says, "Did you think I was going to bite you William, drink you dry, turn you into a creature of the night....Hmmm…? HA!"
He giggles and walks out, locking the door behind him.
Will faints.
SCENE CHANGE TO THE PIE SHOP!
Mrs. Lovett is happy to be back at her post and is very grateful to Mr. T for getting her some supplies.
She is re-dusting the bench with flour when a customer walks in.
A woman with a small son, who is gazing around curiously, walks over to the baker and says, "Hello…I'd like a…" she cannot make up her mind.
Mrs. Lovett quivers slightly, "Would you like a…merrh…" She stutters.
The woman is about to question her before the baker interrupts, "I'm sorry I don't know what came over...merrh…, It seems that I cannot stop saying…merrh…merrh…….merrh!" She suddenly melts into a puddle on the ground.
Sweeney looks up from his razor, where he is standing in the corner.
The costumer shrieks and runs out.
Sweeney rushes forward, pulling a jar off the shelf, he kneels over the Lovett-puddle and scoops it into the jar, carefully.
He strokes the puddle a little before putting the lid over the top. He whispers to the jar, "Oh, Nellie, what happened….I, this is terrible!"
He places the jar back on the shelf and begins pacing with his razor.
"I love Nellie…I love Lucy…I love Nellie….I love Lucy…I love Nellie…I love Lucy…I love Nellie…Lucy…Nellie…Lucy
…Nellie…Lucy…N…L…N…L…N..." He stammers.
Suddenly Acro Princess appears holding a half dead stinking fish, "MAKE UP YOUR MIND, YOU STUPID BARBER!" She screams as she whacks him across the head with the fish.
"What the fuck are you doing with that fish?!" He yells.
"I'M PUNISHING YOU!" Acro Princess yells back before realising that she's talking to the punisher of the millennium, the demon barber of Fleet Street.
"Whatever…." He waves his razor like a wand and she disappears. (WOW AND THIS ISN'T EVEN A PARODY!)
"Oh, Nellie…why did you have to say merrh…?" He whispers to the Lovett-puddle.
SCENE CHANGE TO ST. DUNSTAN'S MARKETS.
Toby is standing at his stall where he sells small blankets woven from goat hair.
When he got Marge he was told he would have to earn his keep to keep her.
So he learnt how to weave, and using all of his friends excess hair he had taken up making blankets and rugs, he dyed some of them too, with dye that he bought. He sat with a money tin and only his small brain as a calculator. Rugs were piled around him with signs saying things like: 'this section=1£', 'All baby blankets=10 shillings' and 'Dyed rugs=5£'.
He didn't get many customers but when he did they usually bought a lot.
He sits falling asleep as the sun stared upon him. He hears a voice, "No…It's too early to get up…"He murmurs at it before coming to his senses and realising it is a customer.
"This rug, how much…?" A man jabs, at one of the clearly marked piles, with a dirty finger.
Toby jumps up and runs over, dusting grime from his freshly woven work, "The sign says, '3£, sir, would you like to buy it, I just finished makin' it yesterday,"
The man frowns…is this a tear?" He points at piece where Toby couldn't get the threads together.
Toby grins and leans forward, ribbing off loose ends to make it more presentable, "Certainly not, sir, 3£!"
The man grunts and pulls out a small bundle of money. Toby's eyes light up at the money and he picks the rug up and takes it to the counter. He refold it carefully and passes it to the man in return for the money, without a word of thanks, he leaves with the rug.
Toby thanks the sky and drops the money into the tin and sits back at his post with the sun….beating…down and he…falls deep into sleep.
SCENE CHANGE TO INSIDE THE JAR!
Lovett-puddle glances around her surroundings; she is safely encased in a jar, on a shelf. Drift. Voices…whose voice? HIS. Sweeney Todd's voice, mumbling something sadistic to his razor, about…what? I hear my name, he says the word love, and now I hear nothing.
The silence fills Lovett-puddle's thoughts. She feels the jar, cool and safe, her nest, like an egg. She spins and stops and spins around again, slower, looking out of the smudgy jar into the shop…she can see HIM.
I watch him tuck his razor into his pocket and run his gloved hand through his beautiful hair, that hair I love to touch and stroke, I love his hair.
His eyes flick around the, otherwise empty, room, his eyes. Like nothing I have ever seen before, they are never-ending pools of chocolate filled with thoughts. He seems down and emotional all the time, but I know better than that, he has a reason to live. If he had nothing to drive him he would let himself die.
He was once driven by love for his wife and child and after that he was driven by revenge (YAY! Drivenbyrevenge! THAT'S ME!) But what is he driven by now? I don't care, it doesn't matter, and I love him.
Love isn't the right word, it's more than love, this wonderful feeling he gives me without knowing it, I need him, he is my world and I would die for him and I will if it comes to that.
He bites down on his lip, the lips that have missed mine and spun me to heaven and back to Earth every time he moves them.
He smirks slightly at something, I don't know what…one side of his mouth turns up and his eyes light up, he's laughing inside but he hasn't laughed for so long that he's almost forgotten how.
I don't know what has happened, I'm a puddle now, in a jar, but it's given me time to think, when you are a puddle you can really come to grips with things.
He stands, I love it when he stands, he doesn't need to move, the way he stands, it's a wonder. He stands with a purpose.
I watch as the barber walks over to my jar. He picks me up. I feel myself tremble and wonder if he can feel it. He puts his mouth to the jar and says something but I cannot hear much all I hear is, "Nellie…Sorry…How did you……………merrh…Nellie…I" Then it stops and he puts me down with a sad, confused smile, the smile I love so much.
SCENE CHANGE TO THE PARLOUR!!!!!!!!
Sweeney walk in. He takes off his jacket and throws it to a corner, her places his razor on his dresser. He sits on his chair of doom and cries. He cries his eyes out, he cries his eyes out for Lovett-puddle.
A/N: Biohazrd23 looks at driven, "So…um…BYE!" He disappears.
Driven screams, "I'M SO FUCKING SICK OF THAT HAPPENING!! I NEED A DISCLAIMER!!"
Charlie rolls his eyes, "Why don't you just kidnap someone else?"
Driven says, "Maybe, I'd rather have someone volunteer…I could kidnap someone from the fanfic! THAT'S A GREAT IDEA…MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!" she laughs maniacly and goes off to read 'Lord Loss' by Darren Shan.
Reviews….please…:-) …I beg of you…:D
P.S. So…anyone read 'The Luckiest' yet? READ IT!! OR ACRO PRNCESS WILL HIT YOU OVER THE HEAD WITH A FISH!!!!!
