Please REVIEW, I know this is a crazy story and I want to read your thoughts :)
chaka1967, Farina, krebsbach, Lovergyul and everyone that ever reviewed this story - you're the reason this story is where it is. without you, I'd probably wont have the motivation to keep writing it.
Coreys Kitten, thank you so much for helping me with whatever I throw at you. You are truly one of a kind ;)
It's all about The GAME and how you play it!
I guess I'm supposed to say that I do NOT own Triple H's character, so I don't own any wrestling character.
Rated M, for language and sexual content.
- SLASH -
Chapter 28
As I stood in the hallway in front of his room, I couldn't help but have a flashback from the day I first met him. Looking at the keycard in my hand, I remembered the first time I ever touched him. The firm hand that shook mine turned out to be the hand that would lead me to my solvation. Every moment we ever shared, everything he taught me, it was all flashing before my eyes.
As I opened the door quietly and walked in, I could feel my heart pounding. It was dark, but I immediately noticed him sitting on the couch with his legs up and his head thrown back looking at the ceiling. When I closed the door behind me, he jumped and saw me standing at the entrance with Hunter.
"What the hell! How did you get in here?"
"It doesn't matter."
"The hell it doesn't."
When he approached me, he looked weird and when I smelled him, I knew exactly what was going on. "Are you drinking alcohol?"
"None of your business."
"Since when are you drinking?"
"Since when do you care?"
When he turned and started walking, I grabbed his arm and he pushed it off, almost hitting me in the face. "Just wait a second."
When he realized what he had just done and how close he was to hitting me, he took a deep breath and angrily pointed at the door. "Get out and don't ever come back! You hear me?"
I don't know where I got the courage or the nerve, but somehow him yelling at me didn't sit too well with me at that moment. I grabbed his arms and pushed him towards the nearest wall. When he was pinned to the wall, he finally looked into my eyes and the anger just grew on his face.
"Get your hands off of me!"
"Or what?"
"Or this will be the last thing you ever do with your hands."
"I'm sorry, Paul." I whispered as I looked into his furious eyes and put my hand on his chest to prevent him from moving.
"I don't care." He fired.
"I miss you."
"No you don't. You made that pretty clear earlier."
"I know why you left and I know what you're doing." I whispered in a choked voice and the raging man closed his eyes as he looked away. "I get it. I understand, but I just needed to say goodbye. I promise I'll be gone in a minute and never bother you again."
When the word goodbye left my mouth, Paul opened his eyes and a single tear fell down his cheek. "You think I want your goodbye? How blind could you be? I love you damn it. I want to be with you and I can't and it's killing me! Don't you get it?"
The tears showed up and completely washed his furious brown eyes. As they came down his face, I closed my eyes and rested my head on his chest. The sight of the great king of kings standing in front of me with tears in his powerful eyes was unbearable. "Paul, stop please, I can't watch you cry."
"I've been crying for the past 3 weeks, kid." He confessed as he wrapped his arms around me. "I've been hiding in the bathroom looking at your pictures, working out like a mad dog because I'm so damn angry. If you really loved me, you would've moved to Connecticut in a heartbeat."
"I'm trying to protect you."
His gentle hands slid off of me and he pulled me away from him. "I didn't need your protection. I needed you to love me and trust me."
Hearing him speak in past tense broke my heart. I realized he made up his mind and that this was the last time I would ever see him. I felt it as he pulled me away from me and went to the door. "You wanted your goodbye, you got it now." He said and opened the door.
I didn't remember much of what happened after he opened the door and waited for me to leave. I only remembered that as I stood there looking into his eyes, I suddenly couldn't breathe.
I woke up in a hospital bed with Paul sitting next to me writing something on his phone and Hunter lying next to my bed.
"Paul?" I said as I tried to get up.
"Shhh. Lay down, will you?"
"Don't tell me what to do." I said as I pushed his hand away. "I need to get out of here."
"We're not going anywhere. You passed out, don't you remember?"
"I don't care. You have to get me out of here." I started breathing heavily. "I can't be here, Paul, get me out."
"Calm down." Paul smiled as he sat on the bed and held me. "What's wrong?"
"Get me out of here, Paul. I can't stand hospitals." I chocked. "The sounds, the smell… Please, Paul, get me out of here."
"Just calm down, kid, I got you." He whispered as he cradled me. "I'm right here."
When my breathing became steadier, Paul looked into my eyes and smiled. "You're fine, kid. I'm right here."
"I'm not, Paul." I lay back down. "I hate hospitals."
"I understand, but I had to call 911 when you passed out."
The doctor suddenly opened the door and came in. The smile he had on his face made me want to punch him. I hated doctors probably more than I hated hospitals. I just couldn't deal with them. That year and a half I spent in hospitals left too many scars and I just couldn't bear the memories all the smells and the sounds brought back.
"I'm glad to see that you're up."
"Yeah, I'm up. I feel great." I said as I tried to get out of bed only to have Paul keep me down. "Did you bring a release form?"
"Not so fast, Mr. Astor. When you passed out you hit your head and we're afraid you might have a minor concussion. I advise you to stay here tonight for observation."
"That's a great advice, doc, but I'm sure you've got better things to observe. If you could please sign my form so I can get out of here…"
Paul started laughing quietly at first, but it became louder as he looked at the doctor. "This kid is killing me." He said, still laughing. "Isn't he like the funniest guy in the world?"
The doctor didn't find it funny and apparently Paul didn't either, because right after he said it, he turned to look at me with a dead expression. "Shut up and lay down, you're staying here for the night. End of discussion."
I lay back down and looked at the man who just made me feel like a little boy. It felt like one of those moments where someone thought he got the better of him, but then the Cerebral Assassin would knock him out with a sledgehammer. I was literally scared looking into his dead eyes. He wasn't going to take my shit and he made it perfectly clear to me.
"Great." The doctor smiled. "I would like to take this opportunity to run some tests, if you don't mind."
"Actually I do mind. I'm pretty sure I don't have to agree to those tests, so no thank you. Have a good night, doc. Oh and don't forget to be here first thing in the morning to release me."
"He'll do the tests." Paul gave me a hard stare and then smiled to the doctor. "Don't worry about it, doc. Just send someone over whenever you want."
The doctor shook Paul's hand and left the room. I turned my back to him and he started laughing again. "Come on, kid." He chuckled as he rested his chin on my shoulder. "Don't be a baby."
"Don't you have a wife to go to?"
"Sadly for you, my wife is getting on the corporate jet in the morning with my beautiful little girls and we are all spending the weekend here with you. So you're going to have to suck it up and deal with it."
"At least she's nice to me. Maybe I should just stay with her while you go back home."
"Awww, the little baby doesn't like how I'm treating him?" He mocked me in a baby tone.
"Asshole." I muttered.
"Could you please turn around and look at me?" His tone was serious suddenly.
"I know what you look like. What do you want?
"You scared the shit out of me, kid." He confessed as caressed my shoulder. "If something would've happened to you I would never have forgiven myself."
"It's not your fault I passed out."
"No, it's your fault. The doctor said you were probably dehydrated and I noticed when they undressed you that you lost some weight."
"Right, so why the hell do you care?"
"Because I love you, kid."
"Yeah, you love me. Well I don't believe in love. It's stupid. It just gives you hope and then breaks your heart."
"It doesn't have to be like that."
"Oh really?" I turned to look at him. "So what other outcomes are there for love? Because from where I'm standing, my heart is broken and hope is dead."
"Why is your heart broken? I'm right here. I promised you that you'll never be alone again and I'm right here."
"So you're going to leave your family and be with me or do you expect me to have an affair with you for the rest of my life?"
When he didn't answer and stood up I knew his answer. At least I knew he wasn't going to do anything stupid and ruin his life because of me. He started pacing the room and I was starting to get angry. Silent Paul was new to me.
"I didn't think so. Do me a favor, let's just forget all that happened. Go home, forget this and forget me. It's for the best."
"Sorry, I can't do that." He answered simply and stopped to look at me.
"You have too."
"I didn't tell you this." He started as he sat on the chair facing me. "But you should know that Steph found me crying a few nights ago. I was this close to telling her about us, but I didn't break my promise to you. I thought about what my life would look like, if I leave everything behind and I realized I was just a wimp. I'm too scared of losing everything I have that I figured you deserve better. What good am I to you, if I can't love you like you deserve?"
"I told you from the start that I don't want to ruin your life. I knew what I was getting myself into. I knew my time with you was limited. I love you, but I never expected you to leave everything you ever cared for. I would never let you do that."
"I can't live without you, kid. I'm begging you, please move to Connecticut. I need you with me." He took my hand in his. "It would be so much easier, if you were closer to me."
"Paul, it's too risky, you know that. Why don't you get out while you still can? I know you love your family. I know you love your job and I don't think you're a wimp for choosing your family over me."
"I love my family with all my heart, but I want you with me. What does that tell you?"
"I know you love them and I know you love me, but you can't have us both. I'm not living in a dreamland where you walk out on everything you worked for your entire life just to live happily ever after with a man. Your wife is not stupid, she will figure it out one day and she'll leave you with nothing."
"So what, this is it? I have to walk away from you?"
"Paul, you love your wife and your girls, as you should. You and I can never really be together, can't you see that?"
"We were fine until now, but you made it pretty clear to me that you didn't feel the same way when you asked me to leave the other night."
"What? I didn't ask you to leave. I just didn't want you to get in trouble because of me."
"You asked me to do you a favor and go home and today you said that it was fun, but it's best that it ended. You looked me in the eyes and you basically told me that I meant nothing to you."
"I only did it because I didn't want your wife to be upset with you and as for what I said today, you seemed to be pretty happy making out with your wife at the lake after not calling me for 3 damn weeks. What was I supposed to do? Break down and cry about it?"
"You know that none of this would've happened, if you kept your nose out of my business. You always worry and it's annoying, why can't you just relax and trust me?"
"And you want me to move to Connecticut? We can't even talk for five minutes without arguing. We'll kill each other after 2 days."
"That's not true. So we argue, so what?"
I suddenly heaved and Paul nearly jumped from his seat and rested his hand on my cheek. "Paul, you're giving me a headache."
"I'm sorry, kid. Let's just leave it for now." He smiled, but the smile turned into an evil grin. "I promise to shut up, if you tell me that you love me and you don't want me to leave."
"God you're impossible. Did you not hear a word I said these past few minutes? Did I get a headache for nothing?"
"I will never ever leave you and I will love you for the rest of my life. It's your fault anyway."
"Yeah, sure, my fault."
"I'm waiting."
"Fine. I love you, you big baby. I don't want you to leave."
"Thank you. Consider yourself kissed for being a good boy."
"I loathe you."
"Yeah, yeah… I'm getting coffee, try to get some sleep."
In the morning, after they took my blood for the tests, they signed my release form and Paul took me home. We stopped on the way so he could get his things and check out of the hotel before going to my place. Chris was waiting downstairs to take Hunter when I arrived and looked very concerned.
"Yo, Ace, you don't look too good."
"I'm fine."
"You're pale. You need to eat something."
"Yeah, I'm sure my bodyguard here will make sure I eat until I'm dead."
"Hi, Mr. H." Chris shook his hand. "Nice seeing you again."
"You can call me Paul."
"Sure thing, Paul." Chris smiled. "Well, I'm off to walk the little monster. I'll see you in a while."
We went up to my apartment and Paul pointed to the couch when he closed the door.
"Don't push it. I'm not too sick to give you the finger if you start bossing me around." I said as I gave him the finger and went to the kitchen.
"Just lie on the damn squeaky couch and get some rest before I break that finger."
"I'm getting some water, want some?"
"I'll get it for you, just go rest damn it." He followed me.
"Just chill. Jees, I'm not dying you know."
"You're not, but you have a concussion and you need to rest."
"I have a minor concussion and I'm fine. I'm getting water and going to the porch to rest."
"I swear if you smoke, I'm…" He started, but I didn't let him finish.
"You're what? Stop making threats, okay? You and I both know you're not going to do anything to me so stop already." I smiled smugly.
"God Steph was right. You're just like me. Stop smiling like that."
"Feel free to join me." I chuckled as I left the kitchen.
Around noon, the doorbell rang and Paul went to answer the door while I was lying on the couch covered with a blanket. Sometimes I felt that he was treating me like a baby, but I just couldn't do anything about it. I would lie if I said that it didn't feel good having him take care of me the way he did.
"Joe!" I heard Murphy call. As she ran towards me she smiled and jumped on the couch. "I missed you, Joe."
"You're getting big, Smurfy. I missed you too."
"I missed toy too, Joe." Aurora said as the all approached me.
"Aurora, hi, come sit." I smiled as I sat down and made room for her.
Paul was holding Vaughn and holding his wife's hand. "How are you feeling, Joe?"
"I'm fine."
"He's not fine. He has a concussion." Paul explained.
"What's a concussion, daddy?" Murphy asked.
"It's when you hit your head really hard, baby."
"But you're okay, right, Uncle Joe?"
"I'm absolutely fine, Murph."
"Good."
"So, I stopped on the way and got some lunch." Stephanie smiled and kissed Paul on the cheek. "I brought a few sandwiches and a chicken salad for you, honey."
"Great. Are you hungry, kid?"
"No, you guys eat if you're hungry. I'll just be outside."
"Will you stop smoking, for just a few hours?" Paul nearly begged.
"I'm not going to smoke, Paul. I just need some air."
"Alright, call if you need anything."
"I will. Why don't you show Steph around in the meantime?"
"Call her Steph again and your concussion won't be minor."
"Leave him alone, honey, come show me around."
After they all finished eating and the girls started playing with Hunter, Stephanie came outside with a steamy mug and sat next to me. "Here, I made you some tea." She smiled as she brushed her hand along my arm. "This is a very nice place you have here, Joe."
"Thanks."
"I love the view." She smiled as she walked to the ledge and looked outside.
Damn it, this is hard. How can I even look her in the eyes? I'm having an affair with her husband and she doesn't even have a clue. God I'm such a scumbag. When I released a heavy sigh, she immediately came to my side. "What's wrong?"
"It's nothing." I smiled. "I'm just a little tired."
"Why don't we go check into a hotel and let you rest for a while. We can come later and have dinner with you."
"You can stay here. There's plenty of room."
"You only have two bedrooms, Joe."
"You and the girls can take the rooms and I'm pretty sure my buddy Chris has a crib for Vaughn." I said as she listened with her sweet smile. "My couch opens up to a bed. It's just an idea, you don't have to stay if you don't want to."
"I would never let you sleep on the couch, Joe."
"I've spent many nights on this couch and I have enough sheets and blankets. Like I said, it's just a thought. If you feel more comfortable in a hotel it's totally okay."
"Well…" She smiled and caressed my hand. "I'm sure my little girls would love to stay with their uncle and my husband would have one less thing to worry about, so I think we'll stay."
"Stay where?" We heard Paul ask as he walked out with Vaughn in his arms.
"Here, with Joe." She smiled to her husband as he handed her a bottle and the little hungry baby. "He says he has enough room for all of us."
"Oh." Paul smiled wickedly. "Are you planning to sleep like a baby between me and my wife? You only have 2 beds here."
I almost choked on the hot tea after hearing his blunt question. Stephanie started laughing and he just winked at the both of us. "Oh, honey, you're just awful."
"Okay. I'm sorry." He smiled. "Walk me through the sleeping arrangement, kid."
"You're just going to have to trust me." I smiled back.
Later that night, I was half lying on the couch turned into bed and watched WrestleMania 18. I couldn't sleep. I knew he was in my bed with his wife and there was nothing I could do about it. He was right, I deserved real love, but it was something that he couldn't give to me.
As I laid there looking at the screen, watching him make his great comeback and win the undisputed championship, the tears showed up. He brought me back to life that year and every second he was in my life gave me strength and hope. I would've given up my life in a heartbeat, if it meant waking up beside him every day, but deep inside I knew I could never ask him to do that.
Criticism is part of the creative journey, and I appreciate it.
Thank you for reading.
:)
