I do not own Criminal Minds, only the characters I have created in that world.
Third attempt at this chapter and I still couldn't get it all to fit. I just couldn't help it. Some of it I started to write and couldn't stop. Thus, the wait. But I think it was worth it. I like to consider this a post Holiday high. As we're all coming down from the rush and excitement of the New Year, I'm here to pick you up again… Like a present for no reason. (I sound like I'm high right now, but I swear, I'm not.)
Speaking of, hope all the holidays were great and fun for everyone. Welcome to 2013! The world is still here and maybe this year I'll finally learn to say no and not get roped into babysitting every day.
Chapter 28: Dating Game
She was tempted to bring it up all week. Keeping her thoughts to herself was, literally, driving her mad. When Hotch sent her and Morgan to Pennsylvania, she thought it'd give her some sort of reprieve, that the distance would make it easy or make her forget what she believed she knew, but it only gave her mind more time to go there and think things over. It only made her realize how much she missed it; how much she didn't see or just ignored.
Not once did she mention it to Will other than to answer his concern by saying it was about Emily. He understood that that was all she could say; friendship confidentiality and all. She thought about talking it through with Garcia, but that didn't seem right or fair. JJ did all she could not to come out and say what the task was while they were locked in there, but Garcia knew what they were searching and chose not to be aware. And JJ wanted her to have the plausible deniability that the tech needed, because that was what Garcia was doing; forgetting what she knew and she made it look easy. JJ couldn't do that. Why wasn't it like that for her? And she could go right up to Hotch and ask, but that was asking for trouble she didn't need. That was poking a sleeping bear with a stick and expecting it to want to cuddle. It just didn't happen. Plus, if it was him, if he was Charlie's father, the anger she was carrying for the hurt he caused… Well, she liked her job too much.
The person she really wanted to talk to and needed to talk to, was Emily. She just hoped her friend wasn't too upset by the invasion of privacy. She spent most of her day considering what to do. Did she just drop by unannounced? No, they did that all the time and it usually wasn't an issue, but JJ wasn't going to barge into Emily's home and disturb the peace; especially not with Charlie there like she normally was. It was not a kid friendly conversation. She really didn't know what to say, but she needed to say something. The thoughts were festering. It was a potentially explosive secret they were keeping and she needed to know the truth if she was expected to keep it too. While she understood it, she was also upset and angry that Emily didn't tell her about all of it. Emily was secretive. That was always true, and JJ didn't know what she'd do if roles were reversed, but she did know that she'd want her best friend to lean on. And that was what JJ wanted to offer; a shoulder to cry on, an ear to bend, and a hand to hold. But she also needed answers of her own. Things needed to be confirmed. They had to rely on the trust they built and talk to each other.
And Saturday was the day for that, or at least the start of that. There was no pressure or anything. She wanted Emily to come to her, but, well, it took five years for her to meet Charlie, she didn't think tight lipped McGee was going to be dropping by for tea and baby daddy talk. So, she spent the day trying to figure out what to do. In between playing with Henry, cooking, and cleaning, she found herself wandering to the phone. Her hand would always reach over, hover for a second, and then she'd walk away. She just didn't know what would cause fewer problems; confronting the issue or hoping for selective amnesia. Realizing that the latter wasn't likely, though she and Emily did take quite a few hits to the head in the line of duty, JJ finally gave in. It took her all day to get there, but as the night sky grew more present, she managed to find the phone in her hand and her fingers dialing. She was only waiting for an answer. "Hello."
"Emily, it's JJ." She responded firmly; not aggressive, but not her usual nurturing tenor either.
"Hey Jayje, what's up?"
"Are you busy right now?"
"Not really, no. Why?"
"We need to talk." Emily wasn't sure what the tone of her voice meant. It was nervous and scared, but almost a little mad too.
"Ok. Is something wrong?" JJ heard the concern, but she couldn't school her emotions. It was all there and she couldn't help it. She couldn't compartmentalize like the brunette could. Wouldn't know how even if she tried…
"I'd rather talk in person." That didn't soothe the nervous fluttering in her stomach. Something was wrong…
"Is everything ok?"
"Everything's fine. I think. I'm not sure." She fumbled for the right words. She didn't want to alarm Emily. Nothing was truly wrong, but there was something important that they needed to talk about. Maybe it wasn't her business, but… No, it was her business. If Emily and Hotch had a child, fine, then they did. And if they wanted a relationship, well, JJ would support them. That was what friends did. She wanted them happy. But if her boss was being a deadbeat dad and hurting her friend, well she couldn't support that. She wouldn't. And she couldn't sit back and watch the train wreck in slow motion. But they weren't there yet. First she needed answers; answers she deserved to know.
"Is it Will? Or Henry?" She asked seriously. JJ sounded stressed and Emily didn't know why. But when she received no response she tried being a little playful. "Do I need to come over with supplies? Will we be burying a body? I know where an incinerator is…"
"It's… nothing like that." There was no playfulness, no witty retort, none of their lighthearted moments, and that was disconcerting for Emily. "We just… I have something I wanted to talk to you about."
"Oh, alright… What is it?" Nervousness encased both parties. "Do you want to come over?" Emily asked hesitantly. "I'd come to you, but Charlie's watching a movie and getting ready for bed."
"Right. No, that's ok. We don't have to talk tonight." She was backtracking, second guessing whether amnesia was the route to take after all and if she really wanted to step deeper into the quicksand. There wasn't always a way out.
"Are you sure? It sounds important."Emily noticed the tired voice. JJ had something on her mind. That much was clear. But what?
"Yeah… yeah, I'm sure… Tomorrow?" She had to do it, but not with the kids around. Public place Jayje… Do it in public.
"Sure, ok. You want me to come over?" Emily didn't know what JJ wanted to talk about, but she knew she felt unsettled.
"Umm, no. Why don't we go out? Just the two of us."
"I can probably swing that."
"Coffee at the bakery we love so much? I'll buy you a chocolate croissant."
"I'll buy. Just name the time." She didn't know if she had reason to be, but she was scared.
"Henry needs new shoes. Grew out of the last pair already so we're going shopping. Sometime after that. Three work for you?"
"That should be fine."
"Ok, great. See you then." JJ was about to hang up when Emily spoke again.
"Hey Jayje!"
"Yeah Em?"
"Are you sure everything's alright? It's just…" Just what Emily? "You sound… Are you ok? Really ok?"
"Yeah. Everyone's fine. I'm good. Talk tomorrow. Night Em."
"Night JJ." She responded though JJ already hung up. Yup, something was going on. She added it to the list of things to worry about. Hanging the house phone up Emily said, "Ok, well that was strange." And it was, but there was no time to think it over. She needed to get Charlie in the bath and into bed so she could make a phone call. Someone had to watch Charlie while she was with JJ. But first, it was Charlie time.
In an apartment not too far away from the Prentiss residence, Hotch was making a call of his own. Pulling out his cell, he scrolled through the contacts until he found the right one and hit send. Then he waited for an answer. Receiving one, he responded, "Hi, it's Aaron…"
"Hi Aaron, I'm so glad you called."
"I know it's short notice, but would you have dinner with me tomorrow?" He was either going to prove himself right or wrong. He didn't know which would be better. But he was going to find out either way.
"Like on a date?"
"Yes, exactly like a date."
"I don't know." She played hard to get. "I gave you my number nearly two weeks ago and you're just calling me now." There was quiet. He felt like an idiot, but he wasn't sure he was ever going to use that number. He liked her, sure, and she was nice, but if people weren't telling him what he felt and just let him feel it, he probably wouldn't have called. "What did you have in mind?"
"I was thinking, if you like French food, we could go to Montmartre. I've never been, but I've heard good things."
"I've heard of it."
"Do you like French food?" He was no good at the flirting and the dating. He turned her down when they first met after one of his runs. But he ran into her several times since, many times actually, then and she decided he should have her number. "Call me if you change your mind" she said after he kindly refused her advances. They knew each other for weeks at that point and he wasn't ready.
"Love it."
"So dinner?" He was hopeful. He was putting himself out there and he hoped she would respond to him.
"I'd like that. What time were you thinking?"
"Seven. I have an early day Monday."
"That's ok. Seven's good."
"Should I pick you up?" He was a gentleman.
"I have to go into work for a few hours. Why don't I meet you there?"
"Ok." He preferred to be a bit more chivalrous; pick her up, drop her off, walk her to the door. But that worked. "What time do you have to work until tomorrow?"
"I just have to put in a few hours. I'll just head to the restaurant from there."
"If another day works better…" Cold feet… Could he have cold feet about something so trivial?
"No, no tomorrow's good." She assured him.
"So, I'll see you tomorrow Beth."
"I'm looking forward to it. Goodbye Aaron."
"Bye Beth." Hanging up, he didn't know if he was relieved or scared. People kept telling him what he was feeling, and maybe they were right, but he needed to figure that out on his own. Dating seemed like the place to start. If Haley could do it, so could he. Hopefully… He was anxious. The dating game wasn't something he actively participated in for well over a decade. He was married. With a wife, date nights were planned and usually just consisted of a little kid free time and a nice dinner. Still, he was confident he'd pull through without too much injury; or he was trying to be.
Whether it went well or not, it was something he had to do. Putting himself out there was the only way to tell what was real and what wasn't. He may have felt something for Emily, and he still wasn't admitting he did, but he needed to know it was true and not just something continually put in his head by everyone else. Or, if he had it his way, he'd realize it was just everybody else and their lives would remain only just complicated instead of potentially explosive. That was what he wanted. Simplicity was too much to ask for and so far out of the realm of reach, but something akin to it would've been nice.
Being the type A personality he was, Hotch decided to prepare early. He made a reservation at Montmartre, which wasn't as hard as he thought it'd be, but still difficult; something he should've considered earlier. It was a successful restaurant, reservations weren't easy to come by, but he had some pull. He didn't need to use it, but it helped to have a brother who just opened a fairly successful restaurant; not that he'd ever mention to Sean that he used his name, or that people actually knew his name… Anyway, that made getting a table with a great view of the patio much less of a hassle. After that, he ironed his outfit for the next day; white dress shirt, black tie, and navy suit. He almost went with the red tie, but he just couldn't. He wore it all the time. He wore it Monday, but he couldn't wear it for Beth. It was stupid, but it was what it was.
With everything ready, dinner eaten, files filed and put away for the night, Aaron had some time to kill. First thing first, he had to call Jack before it got too late. Doing that always made the day feel complete. Though, it still didn't feel quite that way. There was Charlie too. And he thought about making the call, his hand reaching for the phone before thinking better of it and pulling away. He wanted to, but he wouldn't. Would it make sense to a child for a friend to call and say goodnight; a friend that wasn't Clyde? He didn't want to confuse her. Pushing the thoughts away, just holding on to the thought of one day, he changed into his loungewear, and settled in for some crappy TV watching and a little light reading.
Emily too settled into bed, completely unsettled by JJ's call and the thoughts that whirled within. She looked to Charlie beside her. The girl was probably too old to still be sleeping in her bed, but she couldn't help but love it. It reminded her of the good in the world, the reason to get up in the morning, why she breathed the air she breathed. And it wasn't every day. It didn't matter what was normal or right; it was what was best for them. Truth was she wouldn't want it any other way. As long as Charlie wanted to be there, she'd be there. And Emily was more than ok with sharing her bed. It would keep the mattress from wearing too unevenly…
Charlie had been asleep for an hour or so and Emily decided to call it an early night as well. She'd try to finish the books she bought until she was tired enough for sleep. With just the dim light of her bedside lamp illuminating the room, Emily slowly pulled the covers up until it encased both her and her daughter in a fluffy cocoon. Running her hand through her daughter's thick mane, she made sure Charlie was resting comfortably before reaching over for her book. In doing so, she glanced at the clock. Ten. "Shi… Crap." It was ten at night and she forgot to call someone to watch Charlie while she met JJ.
Putting her book back down, she searched for her phone. Sighing, she tried to think of a feasible option. She could ask Will, assuming he'd be home with Henry while she and JJ were discussing whatever, but she didn't want to intrude on their time together. It would just be another favor to ask when he already offered to watch her when he could as she travelled with work. So no, she wouldn't be asking Will. Morgan and Garcia both had plans for their weekends, so they were out. Who knew what Rossi was up to? As a last resort, she'd call him. And Sarah was off duty. She could always ask Reid. She knew he'd do it, but she suddenly had a better idea.
She sent off a quick text. Are you awake?
It took a little time, but she received a response in the affirmative, so she pressed all the right keys and waited for the answer. "Emily."
"Aaron. I'm glad you were still awake."
"I'm not that old. It's not bedtime yet." He joked. He was in bed though, so technically it was bedtime.
"Right." She let the word linger. It felt… It just was… There was an unusual feeling within her being on the phone with him late at night listening to his voice and hearing him crack jokes as she laid in bed. It was nice. It was freeing. But it was bizarre too and that, all together, made it a little awkward.
"What's going on Emily? Why are you calling so late?" Not that he didn't want her to. He did. He just knew there had to be a reason.
"I… I had a good time the other night." Not what she was planning to say. It just came out. Her censor was broken. "With you and Jack and Charlie. It was…" right, so very right, "nice." She needed to work on her vocabulary. The only adjectives she could come up with were nice and good. Really?
"I had a really good time too."
"Charlie had fun."
"Jack too." They didn't know why it seemed so, so sterile. They both could easily flow through a conversation if they allowed it, but they were both being so oblivious and so stubborn that they held back thinking that was what the other wanted. Or, maybe they just didn't know what they wanted. And, instead of just saying whatever, they sat there, in their respective beds, listening to the silence of the line.
"I made an appointment with Dr. Lozano." Emily said randomly. Nerves immediately filled him. Was she leaving the team? Did she feel unready? Was there something happening that he was unaware of?
"Why? Is something wrong?"
"I called her the other day about Charlie." She looked to the perfect, still body that lay next to her, so peaceful in her slumber.
"Charlie? Is she ok?" Panic overwhelmed him. Lozano wasn't a medical doctor, but still, if something was wrong, whether mentally or physically, something was still wrong and that alarmed him.
"She's… She's perfect, but she needs help."
"With what?"
"She doesn't understand the risks of our job; not really. What she does know, is that mommy went to fight a bad guy and almost didn't come home. One day I caught her watching me sleep to make sure I woke up. And on one of the first days back from the hospital, she continually poked me until I opened my eyes. That wasn't fun for either of us."
"I'm sorry. I didn't…"
"You didn't know." She finished for him. "I know. And don't be sorry. It's not your fault. I just, I don't want her to be scared every time I go to work. And she's doing ok. I just want to make sure it stays that way. So I read some books about it and I'll listen to what they said, but I called Dr. Lozano anyway. I asked her for some advice or a recommendation, and she mentioned that she has some experience with child psychology and if I wanted to bring Charlie in with me next time I go, that I could."
"And you think that's the right thing to do?"
"You don't?" She questioned, honestly wanting his opinion.
"Do you think maybe she should see her own therapist?"
"I'm hoping I didn't damage her enough to need that."
"You didn't…"
"I did, but it was bound to happen eventually. I got through five years without too much. But, whatever. I'm going to take her with me to my appointment next week. She said that she'll see where Charlie's at, talk with us both, and, if needed, she'll recommend someone to take over Charlie's care."
"Do you think she needs that?"
"One appointment won't hurt, but I'm hoping that's all she'll need."
"Me too."
"You could…" Did she want to do it? Doing it was opening a door that could never be closed again. "You could come. For her… You could come to be there with her." She was extending a rather large olive branch; too large for where they were at.
"To see Dr. Lozano?" He asked.
"If you wanted to." He did.
"Is that wise?" He was always, mostly, practical. Logic usually won.
"Probably not." Did he care?
"Does she know?"
"No. Your name was never mentioned in that capacity." He took a breath before he answered, not wanting to answer the way he knew he had to.
"I'd like to be there, but I think it'd be unprofessional and confusing for Charlie." She knew that, but it didn't stop her from wanting him there with her and their daughter. It didn't stop him from wanting that either.
"You're right." She answered defeated.
"But, why don't I wait in the reception area for the both of you and you can tell me all about it?" At least he'd be there in theory.
"That sounds good." It was better than nothing and probably the most reasonable solution. Maybe they could handle to co-parenting thing after all.
"Agreed. Just let me know the time and I'll be there."
"I will." She made a mental note to send him a reminder email the following day.
"I want her to feel safe too Emily. I want her to know that she has parents who love her and want nothing more than to protect her and make her happy."
"Me too." That was the only thing that could leave her mouth. She didn't know why she was so emotional, but she was.
"Was that the only reason you called?" He wasn't trying to get off the phone, in fact, he'd like nothing more than to listen to her talk, but there was something else. He could feel it.
"No." She paused briefly. "I was thinking about something you said before."
"Something I said?"
"Yeah…" She pushed herself deeper into her pillows as she waited for something, just anything, to get her talking again. "I was thinking about what you said about having some time just you and Charlie."
"You were?" He sounded surprised, and he was. They both seemed so up and down that he didn't know what to expect at any given time. It was a welcomed gesture though, to know that she was at least thinking of him and listening to what he had to say.
"Don't sound so shocked Aaron." Her voice was quiet and raspy, almost seductive, but he didn't want to hear that. He needed to just hear regular old Emily. "I'm going out tomorrow." She stated.
His heart fell. "Like… like on a date?"
"Like a date…" heart definitely feeling under the weather. "…with JJ."
"Oh?" He perked up again. Consciously, he knew it shouldn't have affected him at all if she were dating. He was dating. And he knew he'd pretend to be happy for her if she were too, but, subconsciously, he was really happy it was JJ she was going out with.
"Yeah, just going for coffee."
"Alright…"
"I was thinking about what you said about having alone time with Charlie. So, I was wondering if you'd watch her tomorrow." Tomorrow?
"Uh… Tomorrow?" She missed the hesitancy in the voice, luckily, and spoke.
"Yeah, I want to head out around 2:30. I was thinking you could come over here and just spend time with her in a comfortable environment. Or, if you wanted, you could take her out. She'd like that too. She's easy to please; simple and complicated all wrapped up in one pretty little package. But I won't make you do this. If that's not something you want to do, there's no pressure." There was, a little, but not really. It was an actions not words thing. "I can just ask Reid. He owes me a favor and I think Charlie likes to annoy him by asking him why over and over. And he likes her because she likes his stupid facts and has a few random things up her sleeves. He's not around kids too often, but he's really not bad with them. It's surprising actually." She rambled until she realized, he was saying nothing. "So, I should call Reid?" She took his lack of response to be ambivalence when in reality, he was just enjoying her rambling.
"No." He answered quickly. No, he wanted that time. "What time did you say?"
"It would be great if you could be here around two. I don't think I'll be gone too long. I'd probably be back by five, the latest." He'd still have time to get home, shower, and change for his date. And, even if he didn't, being there was something he wanted and needed. It trumped any other plans any day of the week.
"Ok, I'll be there."
"Are you sure? You don't have to."
"I know I don't. But I want to." He said reassuringly. "I want this. I told you I'd fight for her. And I will, but this is you making the fight a little easier. So yes, I'll be there at 2 tomorrow. There's nowhere else I'd rather be."
Hearing him speak with such conviction made her happy; made her feel like things could and were working out. "Ok."
"Hey Em?"
"Yeah?"
"Thank you for raising her right." Haley's words stuck with him. She made him see that, yes he wanted things to be different, but he knew that Charlie was who she was because of Emily, and he loved who she was turning out to be.
"I was just doing my job." She said nonchalantly, almost rejecting the compliment.
"You did it well."
"Well, there's still a long way to go. Let's see if I was any good at it when she hits puberty."
"She'll be amazing… like you."
"Thanks Aaron." She was blushing. Like a school girl with a crush, though he couldn't see her and wasn't actually there, she was blushing; seriously blushing and embarrassed by it.
"It's getting late. Get some rest. I'll be there at 2."
"Goodnight."
"Goodnight Emily."
They both hung up the phone after that with a sense of ease and levity. Things still weren't fixed. They still had a very long way to go, but they were so far from where they were just a short while ago and that comforted them both. There was security in that; hope that the fantasies of it all working out were closer to reality than they thought. But they wouldn't allow themselves to get too wrapped up in it; not yet. There was still work to be done, still things to take care of.
But, in the meantime, they were both content, ready and willing to fall into an easy dream filled sleep. They were all good dreams; or it felt that way when they woke up sweat free and relatively calm. It was nice. It was a change. For once, they weren't focused on what could go wrong; they were seeing what could go right. And, for them, that was a huge feat. They weren't pessimistic people, they still saw the good in the world, but they were also realistic, so they always saw some of the evil that was lurking. It was habit. But they were suddenly feeling a lot lighter; seeing a lot less of the bad and focusing more on the good.
That didn't mean things were forgotten. They still had plenty on their plates, but they had other things that actually felt more pressing. Like, whatever was on JJ's mind. That was worrying Emily. It sounded important. The way the blonde talked made her nervous. Her mind went to Henry or health issues… They weren't great thoughts. So, she was worried. Thankfully, she found distraction in her little 3 foot something, 30 odd pound laundry helper.
"Do I get to go with you mommy?" Charlie asked as she passed Emily one of her shirts.
"No Charlie Bear. You're staying here while I have some grown up time with JJ."
"Is Henry going?"
"Is he a grown up?" Charlie shook her head. He may have been older than her and bigger than her, but she knew he was still little too. "Then he's staying home too."
"With me?" She asked excitedly.
"Sorry, Henry has other plans."
"Where do I go?"
"You're staying here." Emily explained as she finished folding clothes.
"All alone?"
"No." Emily laughed. "Someone will be here with you."
"Who?" She asked excitedly, leaving her own pile of clothes forgotten.
"Why don't you wait and see?"
"But I want to know!"
"And you will," she looked to her watch, "in two hours."
"Two hours? That's a long time. Like forever long."
"Not that long. And if you finally get dressed lazy bones, then it will be even less time."
"Can I play outside?"
"If you hurry up. But you have to remember the rules. Stay away from the big…" Charlie interrupted.
"I have to stay away from the big hole in the ground so I don't fall in because I'll never come back out."
"I didn't say that last part." Emily laughed.
"Uh huh."
"No, I don't think I did."
"How come the hole isn't a pool yet? I want to go swimming."
"It takes time for it to be a pool. They only just started working on it because the ground was too hard."
"And now it's soft?" She looked to her mother confused. Why would the ground be soft? Wasn't it always soft? Or always hard? Which was it?
"It's softer. Even if the pool was ready, it's not warm enough outside to go in. So let's not worry about it right now. Go get dressed."
"Ok mommy. Love you."
"Love you too baby."
Charlie sped through the dressing process picking the first things she could find. Surprisingly, or not, she actually had on a cute little outfit. "Can we play now?"
"Sweater first." Emily said as she held out the navy cardigan.
"Now?" She asked impatiently as she slipped her hand through the last sleeve.
"Yes, now we can go outside."
"Awesome!" She said as she ran for the back door. Emily attempted to keep up.
Emily tried to stay in the moment. While keeping an eye on the time, she just tried to focus on her daughter. It wasn't all that hard. Charlie was always a great attention grabber and she loved chasing her around the big backyard, but other thoughts still lingered. As more time passed, she couldn't help the fluttering feeling in her stomach. She was nervous, but she didn't know what she was more nervous about. Hotch, or JJ? Thinking of Aaron coming over made her giggle like a schoolgirl. Then, she subtly reminded herself he was coming to see Charlie; to babysit Charlie. Still, she felt the ghost tingle in her lips as she reminisced about their last kiss… There'd be no kissing, she told herself; she didn't want more… Lie. And there was JJ. She didn't even want to go there. She was really hoping the theories she had in her head were much darker than the reality of the situation. She needed to believe she was making more out of nothing until she was in front of JJ and hearing otherwise.
"Come on Charlie. Time to head inside for a little while."
"But I want to stay and play."
"Maybe you can come back out once I leave, but I'm all dirty so I have to go get changed and I don't want to leave you out here alone."
"Who's coming?"
"I think you'll be happy with who it is."
"Will she want to play?"
"I think if you asked him, he would play with you."
"It's a boy?"
"Yes."
"Is it Spencer?" Emily shook her head. "Is it Derek? Can we have a sleep over with him again?"
"It's not Derek and there will be no sleepovers Charlie."
"Fine." She huffed. "Is it Dave?"
"No Charlie. It's Aaron."
"Aaron! Is Jack coming too?"
"No, just him. Jack's with his mom."
Shyly, hesitantly, Charlie asked her mother, "Is Aaron really coming this time?"
"Yes. I promise he'll be here and you'll have fun." He better not let them down. She made that promise fully believing that he would pull through.
"Can we all go out again? I liked having dinner with them at the restaurant."
"We'll ask him later, but I'll tell you a little secret." In anticipation, Charlie moved closer as Emily leaned down to faux whisper in her ear. "He said he had a ton of fun with us too."
"He did?!"
"Yeah. He really likes spending time with you."
"I like when he plays with me."
"Maybe you can tell him that."
"Doesn't he know?" Her face scrunched up.
"Sometimes grownups can be dumb. Sometimes you have to remind us of things we should know." If only she realized how true that was for herself. If she took the time to listen to Clyde and really think about it all, she wouldn't be where she was; in a state of flux and denial.
"Really?"
"Yeah. I bet it would make him feel happy to know that."
"Ok."
"Ok. Want to help me pick out something else to wear?"
"Yes!"
"I thought so." Emily winked. "Let's get a move on."
She had no reason to dress up. It was just a coffee date with JJ. They, apparently, needed to talk about something specific. That was beside the point. She was meeting JJ at a bakery they went to all the time. But, even so, she felt the need to look good. Maybe it was the thought of seeing Hotch. She needed to look her best. For him… It was so not like her; so not logical.
"You look very pretty mommy."
"I do?" Charlie nodded. "Thank you."
"You're welcome.
"Are you going to put on more jewelry?"
"Do you think I need more?"
"You need to wear the pretty earrings." She insisted as she pointed to the jewelry box on the dresser.
"Which ones are those?"
"The ones me and Clyde got you."
"But those are fancy. I'm not going anywhere dressy Charlie. Just to get coffee with JJ."
"Aaron would like them. He would think you're pretty too."
"Why would I want him to think that?"
"Penelope says you should always look your best so all boys think you're pretty. You might want to take one home to play with. Or girls mommy. She said girls were ok to take home if that was what I liked."
"Remind me to supervise your visits with her. You will not be taking boys… or girls home for a very, very, very long time. Ok?"
"Even Henry? Henry comes home all the time."
"Henry's ok… for now. We'll talk more when you're older."
"Mommy…"
"No boys. You're too young for us to be discussing these home visits and sleepovers. Come help me pick out the earrings." Emily needed to deflect. Her daughter was five. They were not going to be discussing the type of sleepovers they were alluding to. Innocence was bliss and Charlie embodied it. It had to stay like that until she was in her thirties.
"Mommy, I see the car. He's here!" Charlie yelled as she peered out the window.
"Ok, go answer it." Emily encouraged.
"All by myself?"
"All by yourself, just promise to ask who it is first just to make sure."
"You're the best mommy!" Charlie gave Emily a big hug before bolting out of the room. Emily knew it was him and it pleased her to see how excited Charlie was. She had to grab her sweater and then she'd join them too.
Charlie made it to the door in record time. She arrived just as the first knock sounded. "Who is it?" She asked with an air of impatience.
"It's Aaron."
Opening the door and throwing herself at him, Charlie greeted him, "Hi Aaron!"
"Hi sweetheart." He happily responded as he took her into his arms and held her tight. There was no better feeling like that; holding his child. He'd never grow tired of it.
"Are you going to play with me?"
"I'd love to."
"What are we going to play?"
"Why don't you think about it?"
"Ok. I have lots of ideas."
"I bet you do." He said as she put her down on the ground. "Where's your mom?"
"She's coming." Charlie informed him before moving on to more pressing issues like whether they should go back outside or try something else. Charlie was just excited. As they walked by the staircase, Charlie stopped and yelled, "Mommy, Aaron's here. You can go now!"
"Are you trying to get rid of me Charlie?" Emily asked as she approached the top landing.
"No, I never want you to leave, but I want to have fun with Aaron." Charlie looked up to the voice as Emily moved her way down each step.
"You better not want me to go. I'd be very sad."
"Don't be sad mommy. I'll kiss it better."
"Thank you." Emily accepted a big hug and a sloppy kiss as she reached the bottom where they stood. "I feel much better now. Go grab my purse please, it's in my office."
"Ok." Charlie said and ran along.
"Hello Aaron."
"Emily…" Wow. "Hi." He was captivated by her. From the moment he heard her voice echo in the stairway to the moment he first laid eyes on her, he was just taken. Her soft waves were delicately tucked behind her ears allowing the rubies in her earrings to sparkle in the light. Her face was natural, just a hint of makeup to accentuate the beauty. She was wearing a skirt. He loved her legs; her long beautifully pale legs. And her top was red. Red was her color. She looked really good in red. She looked good in anything. "You look wonderful. Are you sure you're not going on a date?"
"Blonde hair and blue eyes are very attractive, but I'm really not a boob girl. I'm sure Will appreciates that." She wanted to add, "Would it bother you if I was?"
"Or he'd like it."
"Would you?" Emily cringed after she said it. "Please don't answer that. Not only was it inappropriate, I don't want to know."
"I don't think it was inappropriate. We're friends. Friends talk about… things." Though, the mental images he was conjuring weren't kosher. Damn it Emily.
"We're stepping into territory I don't have time to dredge through right now. Yes, we're friends, but I don't think I want to know if you have any girl on girl fantasies. And, since our daughter should be back any second, I think it'd be best we just dropped it."
"Agreed." It was getting a little weird. "So uh… She seems happy I'm the one watching her."
"She is happy Hotch."
"Yeah?" He said with a schoolboy smirk.
"Yeah, she wants to spend time with you. Did you not see her practically kicking me out just now?"
"What am I… What are we supposed to do?" He was nervous.
"What do you mean?"
"I've spent time with her, I know, but there was almost always someone else around. And now it's just going to be us. I thought about taking her out, but I wanted some time just with her. But she's a girl. What are we supposed to do?"
"What would you and Jack normally do together?"
"Blocks… coloring… cars…"
"Well, there you go. She likes all those things too. Boys and girls aren't really all that different when it comes to playtime. She'll do anything. Just relax, have fun, and follow her lead."
"That easy huh?"
"Yes." She answered with a smile and a gentle laugh. "Just don't give her any sweets. She'll try to trick you, but be firm. She's going to get hungry so there're some things you can make in the fridge or wherever. Help yourself to anything. She's not that hard to make happy."
"So she won't wear me out?"
"No, she will. You'll want to crawl in bed and sleep for days if she has her way. But it's so worth it."
"I know it is." He stared at her and her at him. There was that connection again; rearing its ugly head when they don't expect it and try not to feel it.
"Here mom!" Charlie yelled as she approached them with Emily's bag, effectively breaking up said moment.
"Thank you. Give me a kiss so I can go." Charlie did just that. "Love you. Be good, but have fun."
"We will." She told her mother confidently. "Love you."
"If you need me, call. I won't be too long." Moving toward Hotch, Emily leaned in for a friendly hug to cover her words. "Just be yourself. You have nothing to worry about."
When they broke apart, he whispered, "thank you," and watched her leave. "So, what do you want to do Charlie?"
"Can I have chocolate?" Emily was not wrong…
"How about we make lunch instead?"
"Are you going to cook for me?"
"I'll help you cook."
"Ok!" She exclaimed. "And then we can have ice cream?" Saying no to her was going to be a problem for him. But he'd figure it out… Hopefully, before Emily came home to find every sweet in the house mysteriously missing.
They were going to have fun. Emily, on the other hand, wasn't too sure whether she was. She was nervous and unsettled as she found a table and ordered their usual. JJ was running a little late. That wasn't disconcerting at all; no, not at all… because, it was so normal to tell a friend they needed to talk about something, be all serious, and then show up late. It was great for dramatic effect.
"Sorry." JJ's voice traveled as she haphazardly made her way to Emily. "I had to drop Henry off because Will was running late, and his friend's mother is a talker. She really wouldn't stop… Anyway, I'm sorry."
"It's ok." Emily tried to calm her. "I told them not to bring the coffee over until they saw a crazy, scatterbrained blonde make her way in." She joked. "I got your regular order. I hope that's ok."
"It's great. Thank you."
"Are you going to sit?"
"Oh, yeah." She took the seat across from Emily at their table by the window. It was the one they always used. It had the best view and it allowed them to see other people. Usually, the familiarity of it would give them comfort, but they were both a little on edge. "I'm happy you're here."
"I said I would be." JJ nodded.
"How are you Em?"
"I'm… good?" That wasn't why they were there to talk. Formalities… They didn't need to be formal. "How are you?"
"Great." She said with false sincerity. "You look nice. I hope it's not all for me."
"Thank you. I just… I just felt like getting spruced up a little. A woman needs to feel pretty every once in a while." Especially when she had someone to look pretty for…
"Who's watching Charlie?"
"Uh…" Did she want to answer honestly? "Aar… Hotch is with her."
"Oh." Another reason to add to the growing suspicion.
"What's going on Jayje? What's wrong with Hotch doing that?"
"It's nothing Em. I just, I don't know. I would've assumed you'd ask Garcia or Spencer, maybe Morgan."
"They were busy."
"Ok…" Or not. JJ was confused. She knew why she asked Emily there, but being there and saying what needed to be said was harder than she anticipated.
They listened to the sounds of the little café, the baristas at the cappuccino machine, the customers chatting over coffee like they were supposed to be doing, and the shuffled movement of feet. The atmosphere kind of took over until Emily finally said something. "Why do I have the feeling I should've made this coffee Irish?"
JJ laughed, actually smiled, and it lightened the tense environment. Emily was struggling to figure out what she did in the first place because JJ didn't look happy. "I think you'll be ok."
"Think or know?"
"Only time will tell." Cryptic again; Emily didn't know what was up.
"Ok, Jayje." Emily sat, back straight, before leaning in. "What's going on? You've been acting… off… all week and then I get your eerie phone call. I've been nothing but nerves since." Moving just a little closer, a hint of defeat on her face. "Is it because you don't want me back? You don't think I should be on the team anymore? That's what this is right?" She was confident in her abilities and accepted her place back on the team, but that didn't mean she didn't have her uncertainties. "It's not just in my head. People don't want me back."
"What? Emily no…" JJ's voice went unheard.
"It's ok if you don't. I'm sure everyone has their doubts about me being back and my competence, but I swear I'm ok."
"Emily, I promise you, we all want you there. This has nothing to do with that."
"Then what is it? I've been trying to wrack my brain. That was all I could come up with." With pleading eyes, desperate for some answer, Emily said, "Tell me what it is. Tell me what I did. Please."
"I…It's just…" Words JJ, use your words… "I need… You've been…. This is harder than I thought it'd be."
"Just say what you need to say Jayje." Emily said with concern. "Whatever it is… I want to help. I need to hear it."
"I… there's something that I…. We need to talk about something." It didn't need to be so hard, but JJ really didn't know how to broach the subject. She didn't know how Emily would react. And she didn't know if she was breaking some sort of nonverbal agreement they made to just not talk about it. But she was going for it…
Back with Charlie and Hotch, they were just finishing up with lunch. Making it was a bit of an adventure. They made apples and peanut butter on the side of vegetable stir-fry Emily had premade. None of that was hard, but she was a five year old girl that wanted to play with knives. To be fair, she didn't want to play with the knives, she just wanted to cut up the apple herself, but he had to say no. It was one of the first times he had to be stern with her. But she was a kid and he didn't want her handling sharp objects. He didn't know what she was capable of yet, but his adamant no's weren't enough to dissuade her.
"Knives are for when you're older."
"But mommy let's me do it by myself."
"I doubt that."
"She does!" Charlie said exaggeratedly.
"Then she's crazy."
"Oh, I'm telling on you."
"You do that." He said indifferently, but truly, he was a little upset. He just wanted her to like him and seeing her want to tattle on him wasn't helping his ego.
"Can we use the apple cutter then? I can do that!" She was stuck on being able to do everything on her own when all he wanted was to help her with any and every task; to experience it all with her.
"An apple cutter?" Girls were much more difficult than boys.
"Look, it's in here. Mommy keeps it up high." She said as she climbed up onto the counter.
"Whoa, relax. I don't want you to fall." He helped her, lifted and guided her onto the counter for safety. She was, apparently, going to do it anyway. He decided he might as well be complicit.
"I won't fall silly." She said, standing taller than him with the added height if the marble counter below her. "It's in here." She maneuvered through one of the drawers that she could've reached without the climbing. A simple step on the chair that was already near it would've helped. Girls… "See." She pulled out a silver, glittering, apple corer. "An apple cutter. Can we use this?"
"We can," he took it from her and held a hand for her to take so he could help her down, "if you promise not to climb anything else."
"Even a tree?" She asked as she made her way into his arms.
"Especially a tree."
"Even my playground?"
"That, that I think you can climb."
"Can we play on it? Will you push me high on the swings?"
"After lunch."
"Ok!"
With his help, because it took more arm strength than that of a tiny little girl, they cut the apple up. As peculiar as it was, as complicated as it was, and as annoying of a process it may have seemed, helping her with such a simple task made his day. He wasn't there the first time she fed herself without any help. He never got to feed her, her first solid meal. And he wasn't there the first time she tried to help Emily cook. But that was ok, he was realizing, because the plain moments, like the bickering and back and forth and helping her core an apple made up for that. It was amazing how something so simple could make up for so much…
Food eaten and stomachs settled, they moved on to the next activity; arts and crafts. That was a treat. It was thirty minutes of glue and pom poms and sticky things that he wouldn't even know what to call, but she loved it. So he managed to love it too. He just wasn't very good at it. But, he assumed, that was par for the course. He wasn't great at a lot of things Jack liked too. They were just easier to fake. Drawing wasn't his forte.
He was surprised when her tiny hand overlapped with his and halted his movements. "What's wrong?" He asked.
"You write with this hand." She stated.
"Yes, do you know which hand it is?"
She stuck out her fingers to see which one made the 'L.' "The left one."
"That's correct." He told her proudly. His children were baby geniuses; destined for greatness from the womb on.
"Why do you use that one?"
"I've always used it. I was born like that." Sundays were not fun growing up. The nuns liked to slap his wrists with rulers during Sunday school because being left handed was being a portal to the devil. He grew up to battle the evil. If they could see him now…
"How come I use this one?" She held her right hand up, her fuchsia crayon still in between her fingers.
"Because that was the way you were born."
"And mommy too."
"And Emily too, yes."
"But not you?"
"No. I use the other one."
"So you're special."
"I guess so."
With very serious and profound eyes, she moved her gaze up to him and said, "I think you're special."
"Thank you." He replied with a smile. Touched, delighted, loved… words couldn't begin to describe how he felt.
"It's cool that you're different."
"I guess it is." They shared a moment; one of many bonding moments to come. It was over almost as quickly as it begun, but it made him feel special just like she said he was. Because to her, he was special and hers was one of the few opinions that counted. Charlie went back to her drawing, though, and he followed her lead and did the same until they moved on to the subsequent activity.
Up next was tackling the great outdoors. Charlie was insistent that she show him her "swing skills." He was more impressed with her ability to run out of sight before he had the chance to find her in the first place than her ability to nearly fly off the death trap they called a swing. Were playgrounds a work out for the children or adults? She was a quick little thing and it made her hard to keep track of. He had a feeling she was using that to her advantage. She liked to run and play just like Jack. She was more adventurous and free, just like Emily. But she had these moments of caution, these moments where she just stopped and thought things through, that he liked to believe she got from him.
"Look how high I can go all by myself!" Charlie exclaimed as she finally made her way to the swings.
"You're almost flying." He played along.
"Push me Aaron. Please." There was no way he was saying no. "Higher! Higher!" He obliged to a point. Any higher and she would literally be flying.
The sounds of her jubilee and giggles made him proud. They made him happy. They made him feel fatherly. He loved every single second of it. All the innocence, all the happiness, and all the smiles; it made his day whole. Very few things could've made their time together better, but he wasn't dwelling on them and there was more to come. He finally felt like lost time as being made up. It was him and his daughter and it was great.
"Aaron, Aaron, the phone is ringing." Charlie's voice interrupted his thoughts.
"Huh?"
"Your phone silly." He hadn't heard it until it was pointed out to him, that was how focused on her he was.
"Right." His phone was on the bench by the house. "Charlie, stay here and don't move. I'll be right back."
"Ok." He watched her as he moved toward the bench. She remained in her place, swinging on the swing. As he got to and held his phone, he looked at the caller ID. Beth. He needed to answer it, though he didn't want talking to her to take away any time with Charlie.
"Hi Beth." He answered, turning his body back around to face his daughter.
"Hi Aaron. I just wanted to call and make sure we were still on for tonight."
"Yes, of course. Seven at Montmartre."
"Great. I am…" He didn't listen as he placed the phone on hold drowning out her voice.
"Charlie, get down from there please."
"But I'm climbing to the castle."
"It's dangerous Charlie. Please get down." Every moment she stood on the wooden ledge of the playhouse he became more nervous. His heart thumped in his ear. "Now Charlie."
"I'm trying." She yelled. "I can't! I'm stuck."
"Ok Charlie. I'm coming. Stay right where you are." He took the phone off hold and brought it to his ear.
"…and as soon as the exhibit's open…"
"Hey Beth, I'm so sorry to interrupt, but I really have to go. I'm looking forward to tonight, but now's not a great time." He wanted to just get off the phone. His focus needed to be solely on Charlie. He shouldn't have been on the phone at all and he should've been moving faster. Why wasn't he moving faster?
"Oh, ok. That's fine Aaron. I can't wait for tonight."
"Me too. Bye Beth."
"Bye Aar…" He hung up before she could finish and he didn't care.
"I'm coming Charlie. Hang on ok?"
"Aaron. Aaron!" Charlie yelled as she lost her footing and fell to the ground, a distinct thump echoing through the open air as her body collided with the dirt.
"Crap." He hissed before rushing the remaining steps to her. "Are you ok? Where are you hurt? Charlie, talk to me. Talk to da… Talk to me." He spoke to her, kneeling next to her on the ground, his eyes scanning for any sign of deformation or serious injury.
"It hurts." She whimpered.
"Where? Where does it hurt?" He asked panicked. "Does your head hurt? Did you hit your head?"
"No." She sniffled, but she hadn't really moved. She just looked to him with sad, watery eyes and sniffled.
"Can you tell me where it hurts?" Hotch asked as he carefully helped her into a seated position.
"Here." She moved her left hand slowly to point to her right leg. "And here." The second area was her right forearm. The right side of her body took the brunt of the fall.
"Ok, you're going to be alright." He said soothingly. He needed to reassure her, but he was panicking a little. That was not supposed to happen. He wasn't supposed to get her hurt. "I have to check it. If it hurts too much, let me know. Ok?" She nodded. He lifted up her pant leg first. When he moved it, he could see the fabric was torn and slightly matted with blood. There were small scrapes surrounding a bigger cut and it was definitely going to bruise, but nothing looked broken and the cut wasn't too deep. Moving on to her arm, he saw the damage there wasn't too serious either. More scrapes and more bruising, but again, nothing was broken or deep. "I think you're lucky. We can just clean this and you'll be all better."
"I will?"
"Yeah." He stood. "I'm going to pick you up so we can go inside and get these cleaned. Is that ok?"
"Yes." She was still sniffling and it was breaking his manly resolve. He ached for her. She was so tiny and she was hurting.
"It's ok to cry." He told her before lifting her up. He carefully placed her on the left side of his body so her injured side could dangle. He just wanted her to be as comfortable as possible. He placed soothing circles on her back as she refused to cry. She was a big girl, Emily told him, and she was in the big girls don't cry phase. "Oh, your mother is going to kill me. She's going to kill me and never let me see you again." He didn't say it to her, just loud enough for her to hear. It was more his thoughts out loud.
Through tears she was desperately trying to hold back and head buried into his shoulder, Charlie quietly said, "I won't tell." Her voice tickled his ear. "I like when you come play with me."
Every word she spoke was music to his ears. He loved her. There was nothing that could make him love her more. He instinctually held her tighter, giving her more of an embrace than just support. "Thanks Charlie. That's very sweet, but I think your mom's going to notice. It's best we tell her. We don't want to lie to her. Right?" She agreed and snuggled closer into his body.
As soon as they got inside, Charlie then calmed a little more, he placed her on the kitchen counter just next to the sink. "Sanitary." He thought, but whether it was or not, it didn't matter. Knowing she was ok was most important. Making sure she was secure on the counter and not likely to take another fall, Hotch began scrounging up whatever he could.
"Are you going to put on that stuff that burns?"
"Alcohol?" She nodded. "Do you know where the first aid kit is?" She pointed to the cabinet under the sink and he immediately moved the step over. "In here?"
"Uh huh."
Opening it up, he saw a little blue kit just like she said he would. "Here we go." Everything he needed was in there. First, he needed the antiseptic spray.
"Is it going to hurt?" Charlie asked as he approached her with it.
"I don't know. I never used this one before. But, I know you're strong and you're brave, so you can handle it. Though, if it does hurt, you can cry, and I'll still care about you so much."
"You will?"
"I promise."
"Do it fast." He sprayed the scrapes as she squeezed her eyes and looked away.
"All done."
"You are? It didn't hurt."
"That's good. I don't want to hurt you." She gave a timid smile. "Do you want the blue bandage or the orange?"
"Orange please."
"Good choice." He strategically placed the bandages over the larger cuts to include as much of the other scrapes as possible. He didn't want to make her look crazy with a hundred band-aids or anything like that. "You're all set." He started putting things away. "I'm going to get you some ice and then we'll sit on the couch for a little while. I'll even read you a story. You like stories/ Do you want to read with me?"
"Will you read me our book?"
"The book I gave you?" Her head bobbed. "Yes, we can read that if I can find it."
"Ok." She said before telling him exactly where to find it.
Fifteen minutes later, she was changed into clean clothes and they were cozying up on the couch. Charlie was laying with her head resting on the pillow he placed on his lap, her body curled as close as she could get it to his as the ice sat on her wounds. One of his hands was resting on her back, occasionally giving her a loving caress; just a simple pat or circle to relax her. The other held the book he read to her. The fall was a normal everyday moment; a first that he thought he handled fairly well. So he panicked. What father wouldn't? And he felt guilty. He should've been paying more attention and he wouldn't blame either of them if Charlie and Emily wanted nothing more to do with him. She could've been seriously hurt.
"Aaron?" Her sweet little voice made him relax. She was ok. He wasn't completely incompetent.
"Yes sweetheart?" He asked as he ran a hand through her hair.
"Do you know my daddy?" What time was it? Where was Emily?
"Wha… What?" To say he was caught off guard would be more than an understatement. He was holding his daughter, exhausted after hours of play, and being asked about his own secret identity. Was that what being a superhero felt like?
"Do you know my daddy? He gets the bad guys like you and mommy. Do you know him?" What the hell was he supposed to say?
"Yeah, I know him." His answer was hesitant, stalled, but she looked at him with question in her eyes, almost demanding an answer and he had to give her one. Her face was too irresistible to do otherwise.
"Is he your friend?" Sometimes a friend, and sometimes his worst enemy too.
"He can be my friend."
"Does he like my mommy?"
"I think they're really good friends."
"Does he love her?" Did he? Why did everyone want to know his exact feelings for Emily? Why couldn't they all just ask simple questions like, "How was your day?"
"I think you need to have this conversation when you're older and can understand everything."
"Everything happens when I'm older! Why can't I be older?"
"I don't want you to be older." He was thankful for the change in flow. Evasive tactics worked. A smile graced his lips. "Neither does your mom. You're perfect right where you are."
"But I want to know now."
"I know you do. I wish I had all the answers." He really did. "But I don't Charlie. I'm sorry."
"It's ok." She sounded slightly defeated. "What's he like?"
"Who?"
"My daddy."
"Do you ever ask your mom about him?" He asked. Looking up to him, she shook her head. "No? Why not?"
"Mommy gets sad." He struggled to hear her as her volume dropped, but he did hear her.
"What do you mean?" He thought Emily said she never really talked or asked about him.
"I heard her talk about my dad and she was crying." Damn it. He made Emily cry.
"Why was she crying?"
"She was sad." It was clear he wasn't going to get much information from her. What did he expect? She was just a kid. He was surprised her memory was so good. He doubted he could've gotten the who, what, when, and where he was looking for.
"Do you know why she was sad?"
"Uh uh. But she was crying and I don't like when mommy cries. It makes me sad too."
"I'm sorry." At least he could apologize to her. She might not understand why he needed to, but he needed to because every second he spent with her, he learned more and more how wrong he was about the whole situation.
Her response was a smile and that was enough for him. For the time being, it had to be. But it was simple and it was enough. "Does he have holes like you?"
"Holes?"
She moved her left hand to his face, resting it on his cheek. "You have to smile." He gave her a wimpy grin, just enough to bring out his dimples. "Holes." She said.
"You mean dimples?"
"Yeah pimples."
"Dimples." He corrected with a laugh. "And yes, he has them; just like you."
"Is he handsome like a prince?" Was he?
"I think he's ok."
"Is his hair like mine?"
"It's brown like yours." She continued to pepper him with questions as she harmlessly played with the lapel of his collared shirt. She asked about things from looks to personality and he was more than willing to answer. Sometimes, he was a little cautious and hesitant to be forthcoming. He wasn't sure how Emily would feel about their conversation and some of the details didn't need to be known, but it was a talk between a father and daughter and they both deserved to have the questions asked and answered their way. So he did his best. The girl was just trying to understand who she was and where she came from. That was a hard task for anyone, let alone a child; a brilliant one if ever there was one, but still a child.
Some of the questions were hard. He'd be the first to admit that. She was forcing him into a type of self reflection that, maybe, he wasn't ready for, but he did it anyway because she deserved that. But then, then she asked a question that he truly wasn't expecting. "Mommy says he does, but I don't know." She started, and before he could ask "does what," she continued. "Does he love me?" He didn't need time to answer that. His answer he was sure of. But it hurt him that she had to question that. Emily did her job; she did her best, but he wasn't there to reaffirm it all. He was there then, though, and he was determined to make it known.
"I know he does. He loves you very much." So much more than he could express in words. "You don't ever have to doubt that. He loves you Charlie. He loves you and he is so proud of you."
"How do you know?"
How did he know? "I just do. Trust me. He loves you with all his heart."
"Do you know where he is?"
"Um." They were stepping into dangerous territory. He and Emily agreed to wait; wait until the time was right and he got to know her more. She said they'd know when that time right was and, then, he wasn't sure if it was right. And he didn't want to go behind Emily's back to answer Charlie's curiosity especially when he was so uncertain himself. "Charlie…"
"Hey, where is everyone?" Emily's voice carried through the room.
"In here." Hotch called back, so grateful for her good timing.
"Hey Aaron, Charlie Bear. Did you have fun?"
"Mmhmm." Charlie mumbled, too content to move even for her mother.
Emily took a seat on the couch next to them, a look he couldn't quite place on her face as she looked around the room. "Everything seems to be in working order. What did you two do while I was away?" She was pleased by the sight before her, but her conversation with JJ was weighing on her. They just looked so cute that she chose to temporarily forget the rest of her problems and just focus on what was right in front of her. "You weren't wearing this before I left. Did you get dirty?"
Charlie looked to Hotch as she moved to sit up. He nodded, feeling bad that she thought she needed his permission to answer. "I fell outside mommy, but Aaron took good care of me."
"You fell?" She scooted closer, "Are you ok? Were you hurt?" She looked to them both for answers as her hands moved to search Charlie.
Hotch placed a hand over hers to still her and calmly said, "She's fine. She got a little banged up. There will be some bruising, but the scrapes weren't bad and nothing was broken."
"I'm a brave girl mom."
"I know you are; my sweet, sweet, brave girl."
"I'm happy you're home!" Charlie said with a hug.
"I think my big girl deserves a treat."
"I do." She agreed.
"Yeah. I brought home some goodies. The big box in the kitchen is ours. Go pick something out."
"Ok." She jumped off the couch, carefully minding her battle wounds.
"Just one Charlie." Emily yelled as Charlie left and then turned to Hotch. "How was it?"
"It was good." He had a grin that Emily hadn't seen on his face for some time. "Despite the fall, I think she had a great time with me, and I did too."
"So you had fun?"
"Until she scared me to death by falling off that stupid death trap of a playground you have out there."
"It's her castle Hotch. And I'll have you know, it's not stupid. It's one of those ones that you can build on as the kids get older and you can add more or change parts. I don't know. I knew it was what she wanted. But kids fall. She's fine. That's what matters." Hotch was relieved by her nonchalance. He expected worse. And, if Emily didn't trust that he took good care of her and made sure she was perfectly fine, it would've been so much worse. "What about after the fall? Did you have fun again then?"
"Yeah." He reflected. "Yeah, I really did."
"I'm glad." It was her turn to put a hand over his, squeezing it a little tighter than necessary. "I'm very glad." Looking at each other, they both opened their mouth to speak.
"I need…"
"We have…"
"You first." He said.
"No, please, go ahead. You need something?"
"Yeah, there's something we need…"
"Mommy, these are so yummy!" That was the problem with talking around children. They were always interrupting. They were always just right there.
Both adults shifted their attention to the little girl who then had chocolate smeared on the sides of her mouth. "I thought you'd like that one." Of course Charlie would pick the double chocolate whatever she saw and immediately bought two of. "You have way too much chocolate on your face for the amount you've eaten." It was only missing a bite. "Did you only take one thing?"
"Only one."
"Are you lying Charlie?" She paused before looking to Emily with eyes that said. "please don't be mad." So she shyly nodded. Yeah, she also ate a chocolate covered pineapple star, but mommy didn't need to know that.
"I'm sorry." She quivered before pushing out her hand that held the treat. "You can have this one back."
Emily just laughed. "It's ok Charlie. You won't get in trouble this time. You got hurt. We'll call it an extra treat for being a brave girl. Just, go eat in the kitchen. You're making a mess."
"Ok."
"Kids right?" Emily asked Hotch as Charlie left them alone once more.
"She's no kid. She's a mini adult; 5 going on 15."
"You're telling me. She's going to kill me when she's a teenager. I think I have gray hairs now. I'm going to be completely gray by the time she hits 12." She sighed. "But anyway. You were saying something."
"Yeah, but you had something too. What was it?"
"Not right now, because I'd prefer not to do it with Charlie just in the other room, but there's something we need to discuss. I'd rather do it before we go to work tomorrow." She informed him. She needed to talk to him before he saw JJ…
"There's actually something I wanted to talk to you about too." But suddenly he was more than nervous. What did she want to discuss? "But, unfortunately, it's already 5:30."
"I know, I'm sorry I was late. We lost track of time." There was a lot to talk about and, apparently, they need not leave any stone unturned.
"It's ok. Really it is. I enjoyed my time with her, but we do need to talk and I do have to go so…"
"So later I guess…" Though, for once, she just wanted to talk then. She didn't wait and neither did he. And the thought of cancelling with Beth certainly crossed his mind. He actually would've if it wasn't such short notice and he wasn't such a gentleman. But it wasn't an emergency and, even if he didn't want to put it off, he didn't have real reason why it couldn't wait.
"Before work tomorrow?" He asked hopefully. "I can come by in the morning and we can take Charlie to school together. Neither of us will be late and I get to see her again. I would really like to see where she goes to school."
Nodding with a smile of accomplishment and progress and overall pride, Emily said, "Ok. Tomorrow morning." And she stood. "We should get into that kitchen so you can say goodbye. We're leaving an absolute dessert junky with a box of pastries and sweets. Probably not the best idea."
"No," he laughed, "probably not." He stood next to her and put a hand on the small of her back. "After you."
"Thank you." They walked into the kitchen to see Charlie practically licking her plate. She wasn't, but if she tried to scrape any more chocolate off the plate, she would've been. "Charlie, say goodbye and thank you to Aaron and then go clean your face please."
"You're leaving?"
"Yes sweetheart. I have to get going."
"But why?" She asked with sadness.
"Charlie, he has to go. It's not your business to ask why or where. Ok?"
"I'm sorry. I don't want you to go."
"I don't want to go either." He looked to Emily briefly. "But, I made a commitment so I have to go."
"Will you come back soon? You can bring Jack. Jack likes me." She enticed him.
"He does like you very much. And so do I."
"We can go out again. With mommy and Jack…" She suggested.
"We'll make it a date."
"We will?"
"Yes. I'll talk with your mom and we'll work something out."
"Really?"
"Yes."
"Thank you." She ran to him, wrapping her arms around his legs. "Thank you. Thank you."
"You're very welcome sweetheart." He bent down to hug her properly. "I had a lot of fun with you." And he never used the term sweetheart so much in his life. He once thought he never would; ever… Terms of endearment like that just weren't for him.
"Me too." She said. "It hurt when I fell, but you made me feel all better. I liked that. And I like you." She gave him a big, wet, chocolaty kiss on the cheek. "Thank you."
"You're welcome again Charlie."
"Bye Aaron."
"Bye Charlie."
"Ok, go get cleaned up messy girl." She waved one last time and took off. "You should…"
"I should go." But he didn't want to.
"You uh…" She moved closer. "You have chocolate on your face." She gracefully moved her hand to his cheek and used her thumb to wipe it off. "There. All better."
"Uh…Thanks." He stuttered it out unable to move away just as she was unable to pull her hand back. "You can… You can let go now."
"What? Oh." She quickly pulled back. "Right, sorry."
"It's ok. Thank you." They stood still for just a moment before he realized he really did need to get going. He barely had enough time to get home and changed and to the restaurant on time and he always liked to be early.
"I'm sorry that I kept you."
"Really. I was happy to do it."
"You should go. I don't want you to be late for whatever." Though she wondered what whatever was.
"I should go." Yet he wasn't moving. Why wasn't he moving? "Tomorrow, I'll be here at six?"
"Six should work."
"Good." He finally decided to take a step. He checked his pocket for his phone and moved toward the coat rack for his thin jacket. Slipping it on he said, "So, I'll see you tomorrow morning. Bright and early."
"Bright and early Sir." She joked but it made him not noticeably, cringe. With everything going on between them, it definitely brought about a few dirty thoughts.
"Bye Emily."
"Bye Aaron, have a good night."
"You too."
As she walked him toward the door, she saw the small yellow box she brought home just for him. "Wait Hotch."
"Yes?" He stopped as soon as he heard her.
"Here." She handed him the pastry box, the company logo proudly displayed on the top.
"What's this?" He asked as he accepted the box.
"They're bear claws. Consider them a thank you for watching her. I remembered you liked them and they were fresh from the oven so I just had to buy them."
"Thank you Emily, but you need to stop thanking me. Watching her isn't a job. It was something I wanted to do whether it was a favor or just because. It's not watching her when she's my own daughter. I'm thankful for the time with her. So you need to stop. Ok?"
"Ok." She responded with a cheeky grin. It felt a little like success for both of them. Definite steps were being taken one at a time; day by day. And it was great. "No more thanking you."
"I'm going to hold you to that. And when we're done talking about everything else that we need to, we're going to pick a date to go out again."
"Out?" She nearly choked on her spit.
"Me, Jack, Charlie, and you if you'd like. I told her we could. I hope that's ok." She was there when he said that right?
"It is." She answered quickly. "It's more than ok if you follow through." And, she ruined it. Of course she did.
"I will. I promise I will."
"Well, I'm going to hold you to it."
"I hope you do." They were stalling with banter. Neither seemed to want it to end and neither could understand why. They chose to remain oblivious. Yet, they chose to play into it a little more each time. It was an odd cycle, a dance of sorts, but that was their story. They were direct and forward and forceful in every other aspect of their lives but with each other. With each other, they were passive. They let things slide and bob rather than attack it and fight for their true desires. They just ignored those.
"We'll pick a date and a place tomorrow."
"Ok."
"I have to go."
"So go." She encouraged with some conviction; not much though.
"Thank you for the …" He lifted the box in acknowledgment.
"You're welcome. Thank you for doing me a favor."
"What did we just talk about Emily?"
"How you were leaving…" She joked. "Bye." This time she was pushing him out of the door. She knew, they both knew, if she hadn't, he would've stayed.
She watched him leave; leaning against the door as soon as it was closed and letting out a breath she shouldn't have been holding. "He is… Agh." She was frustrated for unknown reasons. He just got under her skin. He made her feel things she wasn't sure she was ready to or wanted to feel. But, she had other things to worry about than her possible, denied, feelings for her superior, friend, and daughter's father; like her talk with JJ. Yeah, she really needed to talk to him about that. But, until she saw him in the morning, she didn't want to dwell. Instead, she needed to focus on Charlie. Speaking of… It was entirely too quiet.
As she did that, Hotch walked to his car, looking back and staring for a moment as if he could see her there against the door. But, in reality, he couldn't. He just imagined what he thought she'd be doing and lingered on the thought before making his way home. He wished he cancelled or rescheduled; something, because the only thing on his mind were his girls; yes, he was calling them his. It was wildly possessive and not at all accurate, well semi accurate, but it was how he felt. How he honestly felt; in so many ways, they were both his.
He was running so behind. His usual timely manner was being tested and he had to ready himself in haste. No time for a shower, he cleaned himself up, sprayed on a bit of cologne, primped his hair, and clothes were changed quickly, but he had to hope for light traffic. It was a Sunday evening, it shouldn't have been too bad, but the place was on Capitol Hill, so there would be some. So much for being prompt. He needed to put himself out there. He knew that and reminded himself when appropriate. But why'd he pick that day? He could've rescheduled the moment Emily asked him to stay with Charlie. Then he could've stayed with them all day. His talk wouldn't have had to wait until morning, and he would've been there to say goodnight. His timing sucked. Moving on sucked. But, a part of him felt that the timing worked. He was looking for an excuse to remain partially distant with Emily because that was what he needed. And a date gave him that.
Thankfully, he arrived with ten minutes to spare. Beth was nowhere in sight. She wasn't much of an early bird, he concluded. She always struck him as a just on time kind of girl so it was no surprise that she showed up at seven and the maitre d escorted her to their table. Immediately, he stood. That was the proper way to greet a lady. "Beth." He acknowledged her politely.
"Aaron," she smiled, "it's good to see you." She walked to him and gave him a friendly hug. They weren't at the kiss greeting yet and anything more than a quick exchange was more than he was ready for with her.
"It's good to see you too. I'm glad you could make it." He pulled out her chair. "Please sit."
"Thank you."
"How was work?" He started in on the friendly small talk to break the nervous ice.
"It was good. We got everything we needed finished. All the new pieces arrived and were catalogued."
"That's good, right?" What did he know about the inner workings of museums?
"It's very good. It will save me from a few headaches tomorrow. I might even get a chance to get in some cycling if I'm lucky."
"I doubt I'll get that lucky."
"No, I don't think you will…"
Their light ice breaking talk went on for a little while so they could get to know each other a bit more. The waiter took their orders and they each chose a glass of wine; just one because they were driving. They were trying to have a good time. And they were, but Hotch's mind was divided. A part of him was there, present and having a fairly good time, but the other part was with his family; was with Emily and Charlie and thinking about how he wanted to approach his chat with Charlie that he was forced to have in the third person. They needed to discuss Charlie's curiosity about her father, about him, and figure out where they went next. But he tried to remain with Beth, tried to keep all thoughts about his date. Good news was that he was so divided he didn't have much room to be the anxious mess he thought he would be. He was poised, who was he kidding? He was always calm, cool, and collected; except with Emily. With her, he was anything but.
As he reached over to grab a roll, his sleeve rolled up exposing his wrist. "Nice bracelet." Beth teased.
"What?" He looked down to his right hand. "Oh. Yeah, I like it." He treasured it. A twisted mess of blue and red pipe cleaners tied around his arm as precisely as a little kid could manage and it was an immediate prized possession; a true sensation if only to him.
"It's cute. Did a kid make it for you?" She questioned curious to its nature.
"Yes."
"From a case?"
"No, no, not from a case. Uh, my kid made it for me." He wasn't sure he wanted to mention his children yet, but why not?
"Oh, you have a child?" Her eyes widened in surprise. She didn't know that. Though, why would she? They talked about neutral topics as they ran together, if they talked at all.
"A son… and uh… and a daughter." It felt weird. He was introducing a daughter to a new person for the first time. He openly got to say, "I have a son and a daughter." And there was no question. She didn't know the baggage there and the complicated history he had. To her, he just had a son and a daughter; not just a son. That made his dimples show.
"Oh, awesome. Is he as handsome as you?"
"I think he's much better looking than I'll ever be."
"And your daughter must be a little gem." She gave him a flirtatious grin. "How old are they?"
"We just celebrated his eighth birthday and she's five." Talking about them would never get old. His eyes shined a little brighter, she noticed.
"Such cute ages. We get kids at the museum all the time. It's amazing to see them look at everything with such new eyes. What are their names?"
He pulled out his phone like the proud papa he was and clicked on his photos. "That's Jack. It's from his party." She accepted the technology from him and examined the photo.
"Isn't he adorable. " Looking from the phone to Aaron, she compared the two. She saw so much of him in that little boy."He must just emulate his dad. Are you his super hero? FBI Aaron? He probably wants to be just like you."
"He has his moments. He dressed up as me for Halloween once."
"Oh, that's too cute." She returned the phone to him feeling like they were actually making headway. "What about your daughter? She dress up like you too?"
"No." He wasn't sure what she was for Halloween. He should know that… "She's more into the fairy tale version of what I do." That much he knew. Emily kept her connected to them by telling her stories in ways suitable for a child. He was Sir Aaron.
"Awe. Is she your little princess?"
"She's a very special girl." His sweetheart; his daughter, his life… "Here." He showed her a picture he took that day of the two of them together on the swings. Charlie was sitting on his lap and, though their faces were the only things seen in the photograph, she had one hand intertwined with his as they held onto the swing's chain. He surprised himself by sharing so much of his life with her so soon. He was a, generally, guarded person and he had restraint. On a normal day, he wouldn't just show off pictures to someone he was just getting to know. He was more cautious than that, but he wanted to forget that and just share the amazing creatures that were his children.
"God, look at that smile." She was talking about both of them. She knew him for a few weeks. They talked and they trained together, but not once did she see a smile like that on his face. It made him all the more attractive. "She's a beautiful little girl Aaron. You have some gorgeous children."
"Thank you." He would've blushed if he weren't so proud. His kids were great. Having it reaffirmed never hurt. "Do you have any?"
"Kids?" He nodded. "No, I don't have any kids. Love them; just never found the right guy."
"It could still happen." He just didn't know if he could ever see it happening with him.
"Maybe someday." It was time for a change in topic. Kids were not a first date topic.
"So, tell me a little more about what you do at the museum. Which museum was it anyway?" Beth gladly shared her work stories and he gladly listened.
"Do you like your work?"
"I do." He told her. "It's hard sometimes and it's challenging, but when we succeed and we help, it's all worth it."
"The travel though, that must be hard."
"It keeps me away from my children and that can be hard, yes, but I'm used to being away and they understand." For the most part…
"I go back and forth to New York for work, but that's nowhere near as extensive as your travelling. Do you even have set work hours?"
"We do. It doesn't mean we stick by them. They're more suggested than fixed. We get called away whenever we're needed." Work talk ended quickly, he wasn't up for talking serial killers and usually remained pretty censored about his work anyway.
"How's your training coming? I haven't seen you there all week."
"I've been busy so I've been going much and when I have it has been later in the evening. But it's going well. I shaved some time off my run, so that should help."
"That's great Aaron. By marathon day you should be ready."
"How about you? You ready for yours?"
"Yes." She stated cockily.
Dinner went well. They enjoyed their meals and talk with their wine. They ordered dessert and kept things pretty light. It was a good time. It was a date. And it wasn't as awkward as he was anticipating. But it was time to go. Being the man he was, he helped her with her coat and escorted her to her car.
Stopping just a foot in front of him as they reached her car, Beth said, "I have to admit, after the phone call earlier and how abruptly it ended, I wasn't sure how this was going to go, but I had a good time."
"I did too Beth. And about that phone call… I'm sorry. I was with my daughter and she got hurt."
"Is she ok?" Beth was quick to ask.
"She's… yes, she is. But I didn't know that at the time. So I apologize."
"No, don't apologize. You did what you needed to do. I just overreacted."
"But I did have a good time with you."
"We should do this again." She suggested.
"Sure, call me." It was easier that way; her calling him."
"How about a morning bike ride Saturday?"
"I have my son at 10."
"We can go early, work permitting. I could really use the extra practice and it's more fun with company."
"I'll try to make it work."
"And I'll understand if you have to cancel."
"Goodnight Beth." He opened the car door for her.
"Thank you." She said, and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek. "Goodnight Aaron. See you soon."
Overall, he had a good time, but the most fun he had all night was talking about his kids. That seemed a little pathetic; sweet, incredibly so, but pathetic. It was a good first date though. It was pretty painless and he knew it was a start to putting himself out there. He just wasn't sure it cleared up any of those questions he had swirling. What exactly was he feeling, and who was he feeling it for?
Getting in the car, he headed out. Dating was weird and being back in the dating game was weirder. He never thought he'd have to experience the awkwardness. Though, it wasn't so bad. It could've been so much worse. He honestly wasn't sure what he was expecting from it all. Instant answers weren't something he thought he'd get, but a little clarity, maybe. And he didn't know what a normal date really was for an adult. Haley and he were teenagers when they met and they learned it all together. So it was different. His world was different in so many ways. It was just something he had to get used to.
Somehow, he ended up back there. That wasn't the plan. The plan was home. But when he got to the light and was given the choice left to home or right to her, he chose her. He turned on the blinker and switched lanes so he could go to her; to them. Pulling into the driveway brought about a nervousness he shouldn't have had. There was no reason for it. He was a strong man; he didn't need to get nervous when visiting a friend… visiting a friend that mothered his child… late at night… after being on a date with another woman… Yeah, it was a totally normal situation.
Grabbing the bottle he bought at the restaurant's wine bar, he exited the car and anxiously made his way to the door and knocked. He shouldn't have been there, and he shouldn't have knocked. It was late. What if they were sleeping? What if he woke her? What was he even doing there? Every part of his body was nervous. He didn't know what he was doing, but he needed to be there.
"Hotch?" She greeted the man at her door. "What are you doing here? It's almost ten and we agreed to talk in the morning."
"I know. Can I come in?"
"Yeah… I mean, yes, come in."
She escorted him in, offering to take his jacket. She assumed he was there to start their talk early. In many ways, she was grateful to just get it done rather than wait for the morning. "Charlie is…?"
"Asleep, in bed. It's a school night."
"Oh, well, I'm sorry I missed bed time."
"Next time."
He liked the sound of that. "Next time."
"You're dressed up for a weekend. Where were you?"
"Just… Just out." He didn't want to tell her where he was. "I brought this… for you. I remember you saying you found a taste for this one last time you went to France."
"Yes, thank you." She accepted the bottle. "Is this your way of telling me I shouldn't be sober when we talk?" She joked. It was a recurring theme. Maybe she needed a little alcohol to lower her inhibitions and talk more freely.
"You might want a glass." He said.
"I'll make it two. Join me in the kitchen and we can talk." He seemed almost surprised by the notion. "That's why you're here isn't it? To talk?"
No… Yes… Yes and no. "Of course, to talk." The two of them made their way into the kitchen to uncork the bottle and shuffle through some of that baggage they thought it was about time they unload. It would be an interesting end to their Sunday night and it would make for an interesting morning as well.
Curious to know what went on with JJ and Emily? Me too. Next chapter. I really did want it in this chapter, but I couldn't do it. It was that or the fluffy goodness and I had to go with the latter. I can't control myself. I try to write a small family scene and it turns into half the chapter. But I just love a little Hotch/Charlie and Hotch/Emily… and I would've loved to put them all together for more than a few written minutes, but it didn't fit. There was just so much I wanted to write…
P.S. The Beth part killed me, but there's a reason she's there and I did warn some of you she might be making an appearance. But boy, the thought of them together made me want to vomit a little.
ForensicMidnightReader I was happy I updated too. And thank you. Enjoy the new chapter. I had a little fun with it.
frogs First, thank you for reading the story and thank you for the condolences. I am a big animal lover myself and my dog was very much a member of my family. So thank you for the support and I hope you like the new chapter.
TombRaider7 Thank you, it's always nice to know people are enjoying this story. It makes the effort more worth it. I haven't decided how I'm going to do the rest of the team's reactions, but I promise to try and make it something good. Kids do seem to pick up on things first. They're generally more intuitive than most adults. And I didn't want to make Haley the bad guy. Yes, she was angry, but she also realized she didn't have a right to be. Granted, she was (and probably still is) a little upset, but nothing could be changed so she chose to be supportive. That felt more sincere than the alternative. I'm sorry to hear about your cat as well. It is hard, but I'm dealing.
Cinnamonfa Haley striked me as the advice giver; like that woman who doesn't really have it figured out but still has great advice and she didn't need to be the bad guy. They were equally at fault for their relationship undoing and I wanted that to show. But 90% seems about right, probably down to 20% if he took her advice. But what fun would that be? I'm involved in the lives of fictional characters as well. Maybe we're all crazy lol. Thank you, and I hope your dog gives you many more great years.
inheritancedrottningu Thank you! Here's more… a long more for you to read over and hopefully enjoy!
rmpcmfan They're not quite there yet. I'm sorry, don't kill me. The buildup will make the result better I promise. Or I hope; your opinion's not something I can promise. They admit things, but they deny them, but I've got some big things planned I just need to write them. Haley did her job. She made his feelings known. The rest is up to Hotch, and Emily too.
SouthunLady Everyone sees it but them and a group of profilers. Isn't that how it works? The people who should notice, don't… But he had to tell her. Haley deserved to know just like she needed to tell him what was obvious. She seemed most likely to do it. She had no need to hold back. Sorry I didn't get it in time for Christmas, but I hope the family time in this one makes up for it. I really wish the network would find a way to bring her in for a few episodes though. I need some Emily time and I believe Paget said she would, but Messer said it was a lot of red tape or something along those lines.
greengirl82 Animals are family and thank you. I'll miss him greatly. Sorry to hear about Buddy, but happy you found new cats to love. I think I'm giving myself a breather before I get more. I didn't want Haley to be vengeful. It didn't seem like her. Angry yes, jealous, yes, and those will come into play again, but she was still a voice of reason. She just wants Hotch happy just like he wants for her. If that meant being with Emily, she'd help him out or at least accept it. The mini date was fun to write. I think I'll do another one eventually if it fits with the chapters. I think this chapter has some good moments too. And don't underestimate yourself. It was a good story.
Danielle . Scott I love that you love this story! I think most people expected Haley to act angry rather than the way I wrote it. In a way she was. She was angry and hurt, but she also understood it and she wants him to be happy.
HGRHfan35 Thank you! I don't really enjoy writing Haley, but I asked myself to put me in her shoes. They both accepted it was over between them. I gave them a sense of resolution and finality, so how would she react? They're friends, but she still felt a little jilted. I thought it was feasible. Glad you agree. There was a dinner date… but not between Em and Hotch. But there was a lunch date with Hotch and Charlie and dessert between our budding duo. Thanks for the condolences and I'm sorry about your loss as well. Animals always hold a special place in our hearts (unless we're serial killers).
Emilyhotchnerforever JJ's more than suspicious. Oh boy… Haley's reaction was natural. It felt like he cheated and it stung, but I think anyone would've did that. But she realized what was going on and tried to be reasonable. I'm avoiding writing Strauss as much as I can. Does she ever have to find out…? blah I don't want to think about it. She reminds me of an old teacher I had… Not fun at all. The reactions will all be interesting and different for each person. They all have a different role so it should be cool to see I think.
That Squirrel Thank you! It never hurts to hear how much the story is loved. Not ever. My ego could use a boost every now and again. So thank you and I hope you keep reading and enjoying the story.
HPforever-after They're not running, but they are. I think now it's more about obstacles and acceptance. But once they get there, I think it will be great. The problem is getting there. He needs to realize things for himself rather than just believe everyone else. Emily kind of does too, but, in many ways they do realize their feelings. Denial is a hard virus to shake.
CalleighJ Emily's trying to be passive to protect herself and her little girl. It seems like something she'd do even if it meant missing out on something great. (which she is) but they're slowly coming to realization. It's coming and, I'll give you a teaser. There is a kiss coming up that Hotch doesn't initiate. Hope you had wonderful holidays. The reactions are coming. I'm excited. Are you excited?
Rugbygirrl I fooled everyone huh? I'm such a bitch. But there will be dates to be had with Emily and with Hotch. Dates will be had… Haley will be a big help I think, in the long run.
Sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors.
Thank you everyone who has added this story to alerts or favorites and to those of you who have given feedback. Opinions are much appreciated; feedback, input, whatever. Constructive criticism also welcomed. I hope you enjoy. Until next time…
