Twenty-one days after the night of the full moon she peed on that damn stick. It read: pregnant, three weeks.
They decided to keep her condition to themselves. For now. Danni didn't want anyone to treat her differently or to feel she was a burden or liability to the group. She kept up with chores and social necessities.
After another two weeks, she was, however, suffering mind-blowing fatigue. She'd always considered herself a trooper when it came to energy and getting the job done. Hell, she'd toured and played shows every night with a bout of mono once. Apparently mono can't shake a stick at the whole "growing another human" thing. She'd never felt so exhausted in her entire life. Her ability to fight it for the first couple of weeks abandoned her and it became impossible to do much more than sleep as the month wore on. She felt guilty, almost ashamed to contribute so little to the group. However, when she wasn't asleep, she was overcome with nausea and became dizzy every time she stood. When anyone questioned her more frequent absences, Daryl just said she had the flu. He worried about her, but she told him the nausea and exhaustion were normal. At least that's what she'd heard.
"I just have a more extreme case than some women, I guess."
"He's already a little troublemaker, huh?" Daryl commented.
She nodded. "Big time. I do need you to take care of me but only because it's what little troublemaker wants. He's the one in control now. I have no say anymore."
"He's smart."
"An Aries." She summed up.
She swallowed her pride and let Daryl bring her meals and watch out for her; she knew he loved every minute by the 'I told you so' look on his face.
Since she knew nothing more about being pregnant than the morning sickness thing, Danni decided to listen to her body. It must know what it was doing. Women had done this for hundreds of years on their own, before hospitals, books, and the epidural. Right?
At about nine weeks in, she felt a shift; she was definitely not alone in her body. Upon waking every morning, she focused her attention on the baby. She talked to him and tried to notice when he woke up too. She meditated on beginnings and sang to him every day. She wanted him to know music even if it would only ever be his mother singing to him. Songbird was another Irish ballad Brigid taught her.
For you there'll be no crying
For you the sun will be shining
'Cause I feel that when I'm with you
It's alright, I know it's right
And the songbirds keep singing
Like they know the score
And I love you, I love you, I love you
Like never before
To you, I would give the world
To you, I'd never be cold
'Cause I feel that when I'm with you
It's alright, I know it's right
And the songbirds keep singing
Like they know the score
And I love you, I love you, I love you
Like never before
Like never before; like never before.
Daryl had put his sleeping bag on top of hers weeks ago and forced her to use both pillows for comfort. Fionn Kitty only left her side to hunt for his meals. He'd taken to supplementing Daryl's rabbit with field mice and sparrows. Between naps, she'd lay back and study the herbal correspondence books seeking remedies for her nausea and for flowers and infusions to help labor when the time came. The Bayerl Compendium of Herbal Magick was her go to book because it included illustrations of the plants making it easier to find them in the woods. She kept her tarot cards close but hadn't done a reading in weeks. She focused on the present and hadn't felt a need.
Colder weather was on the way. The air had a slight chill early in the morning and close at dusk through the nights. She wore her tattered hoodie, sometimes one of Daryl's flannels over it. She realized they'd need winter supplies like blankets and warmer clothing. They needed to go on another run soon. She felt useless realizing he'd probably have to go without her. She was practicing radical acceptance, but it actually sometimes sucked.
She was glad she'd packed her beat up security blanket of a leather motorcycle jacket even though she'd left for the tour in June. She'd felt silly when as it was 90 degrees. Not now. Something told her she'd need it.
Daryl pulled out his few long-sleeved shirts and wore his leather vest every day. Whenever he turned and she saw, the wings stitched on the back she'd sing Faithless Street by Whiskeytown.
"If angels are messengers from God, please send one down to me..." He'd tell her to shut up, but she never did. For some reason, the song made her think of Merle ever since the day he'd cornered her in the lake by the quarry, what seemed like a million years ago. Seeing that vest, every day brought to mind not only the song but also Merle. Daryl rarely mentioned him. His big brother wasn't looming so large over them anymore.
Danni had never stopped writing the date in her journal and knew it was the beginning of October. She had begun a book for her baby the night after she'd told Daryl she was sure, calling it The Once Upon a Time Diaries. She wrote to the baby daily. She wanted him to know everything when he was old enough.
How can I explain how you came to be? How can I describe the world you'll live in? I want you to thrive and be fearless like your daddy. You'll never have known our old world; the one he and I had to leave to so we could find each other and create you. Maybe that's a good thing? This new world gave me your daddy and you. My first real family. There is good here. It can't be all bad.
She loved her son already.
She copied the lyrics of a song about Fionn at the end of the day's entry. His constellation had disappeared from the night sky with the end of summer, but he and Sadhbh remained in her thoughts.
"The Legend Of Finn MacCumhail"
This mighty soldier on the eve of the war
he waged told his troops of lessons learned from battles fought:
"May your heart grow bolder like an iron-clad brigade," said this leader to his outnumbered lot.
Known as a hero to all that he knew, long live the legend of Fionn MacCumhai!
The brave Celtic leader of the chosen few, long live the legend of Fionn MacCumhal!
-Dropkick Murphys
.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .
"Rick's worried he's getting out of control. The guy's losing it or something. Up in Herschel's face the other morning. Getting dangerous. Rick ain't stupid."
Daryl spoke as she tried to eat the breakfast he'd brought her. She was sick of scrambled eggs, but she could usually keep them down. Fruit was completely out and she was averse to coffee which left her in shock. They sat outside next to the fire. He'd gotten into the habit of keeping it going all day for her because he knew she had chills sometimes but also just liked staring into the dancing, crackling flames. He continued to tell her about his conversation with Rick questioning the group's future at the farm. Herschel had a major problem with Shane.
"He's gonna have a meeting or something with Herschel. He wants me there."
"Are you going?"
He shrugged. "What for?"
"Because Rick asked you."
"I don't want to get mixed up with their bullshit.'
"Daryl."
She stared at him. The cat stared at him. He tried to ignore her, but ultimately, he relented.
"Fine, I'll go but its a waste of my damn time. "
An hour or so later, Danni was actually feeling okay. She decided to take advantage of the rare respite from fatigue and queasiness and walk to the edge of the woods looking for nettle for a tea to help calm her stomach. She strolled slowly, ready to head back if she started to become dizzy but so far so good. Moving was feeling welcome, her blood was flowing and she felt clear-headed. Leaves were turning, reminding her how much she loved Autumn.
"This is good." She said to the baby. "Why can't you just let me stay settled down like this more often."
Approaching the barn, Danni was shocked to see Shane pinning Beth, Herschel's younger daughter against the wooden door. Maggie's little sister was a tiny thing, seventeen, maybe eighteen? Danni thought she was the spitting image of the midsummer night faerie illustration in her old childhood bedtime story book. Delicate, white blond with rosy innocent cheeks. When she saw Shane naturally frightening her, the familiar anger and disgust she felt toward predatory men began to rise in her chest; she was too emotional to think better of heading over to them.
"What are you doing?" She demanded.
"Oh great, just great. What do you want now?"
"Beth are you okay?" Danni grabbed Shane's arm instinctively pulling him away from the younger girl.
"Of course she's all right. We were just talking. You need to mind your own business and get out of here."
"I.. I'm ... he won't let go..." The girl stammered in her sweet tiny voice.
"When someone tells me to 'get out of here' that usually means I shouldn't. Get off her Shane." This seemed pretty low for Shane to go; Beth was a really young eighteen. Rick's worried he's getting out of control. He 's losing it or something.
Beth wriggled from his grip, looking relieved, and thanked Danni with her eyes. "Go on Beth, Maggie's looking for you."
"You've really become a pain in my ass you know that!" Shane said catching Danni off guard grabbing her shoulders roughly.
... .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .
Daryl had finished talking with Rick about possible changes to the camp with the new season upon them. The idea of everyone possibly moving closer to the farmhouse or even inside made him uneasy. He wasn't sure how he felt about such close quarters for himself. Maybe he'd have to suck it up for Danni's sake. He wasn't sure yet. Still, all that hinged on whether he and Rick could keep Shane from blowing the whole thing and alienating Herschel further. Rick kept saying we. It made him bristle a little, but Rick had ideas, plans; Daryl respected Rick's efforts and if something needed doing around here, Daryl figured he'd get on it. No sense in wasting time sitting around on my ass all damn day. But, we?
He decided to stop at Carol's to see if she had any lunch ready to take up to Danni. Not that she'd keep it down, but...His thoughts evaporated, surprised to hear her fight voice swearing and cussing close by. What was she doing down here? He rounded the barn and saw Shane gripping Danni's shoulders while she kicked and called him a son of a bitch and yelled something about him going after girls half his age.
Daryl saw red when Shane pushed her forcefully, sending her skidding backward, slamming hard to the ground. She tried to stand, but doubled over and remained curled on her side in the dirt. Wind knocked out of her.
Daryl was over the fence in a what felt like seconds, swinging at Shane, caught by surprise.
"Don't touch her, hell you doing your hands on her like that! If anything happens to my kid, I'll gut you first an' kill you later!"
Shane pushed Daryl off and stepped back, a look of disbelief crossing his face. He hadn't missed 'kid."
"You two are the dumbest motherfuckers I ever come across. Having a kid now? Making your own walker bait is what you're doing."
Danni was up by then, holding Daryl back. "Leave it, let's just go." She was still dizzy.
"What the world doesn't need is you two spawning." Shane added. "Though I give you credit Daryl, least she 'ain't your cousin."
After that, Danni let him go. She stepped back and watched, making no attempt to stop Daryl, who's rage, was understandably intensified by her condition, from shutting Shane's mouth with his fist.
Eventually, Rick and T-Dog heard the commotion and along with Glenn and Maggie, who'd been comforting a crying Beth, were there pulling Daryl and Shane apart.
Shane was breathing heavily, spitting bloody saliva. "So you gonna tell them? I bet the rest of these people here would like to know how you two are putting them at even more risk."
Daryl, still agitated struggled in Rick's grip.
"Tell us what?" Lori and Carol had joined them concerned by the ruckus.
Both Daryl and Danni remained silent. Finally, Shane expelled a mean laugh. "Danni's pregnant. Know what that means don't you? Y'all know how loud screaming bawling brats are and how hard it is to shut them up? Gonna be like ringing the dinner bell for the geeks. Y'all want that? I sure as shit don't."
"Shut the hell up! You don't know what the hell you're talking about stupid cop!" Daryl almost broke from Rick's grasp again.
"Daryl?" Rick questioned, pushing him farther away from Shane.
"Well, what do want us to do, huh Shane?" Danni asked giving Rick his answer. Giving them all the answer.
"Leave. That's what I want. You two ain't safe to have here anymore." He looked around. "You all know I'm right. I see it in your faces. We can't risk them bringing a baby into this group. Things are hard enough already."
The shock of the news and Shane's forceful, decisive tone kept everyone silent. Except Andrea. "Shane's right. We have enough to worry about. A noisy baby's going to bring more risk right to our door."
Danni swore Andrea was smiling a little when she added, "They need to go."
"Fine." Daryl shook away from Rick. "We'll be out of your way in the morning." He turned to Danni. "C'mon."
Danni couldn't believe no one had said anything to counter Shane and Andrea. No one.
... ... .. .. .. ... .. .. .
"You okay? Think anything happened to him?" Daryl asked, back at their tent, sitting beside her on the sleeping bags.
"I think he's fine." She hadn't felt any pain or unusual cramping after Shane had pushed her. "He's tough like you."
After a minute of deep silence, she stated, "We aren't leaving."
"They don't want us here."
"We don't know that. Shane doesn't speak for everyone."
"Might as well. Saw how they looked at us."
"We need to be here settled as much as possible with the cold coming. This place is the safest we've been so far. No one is driving us off and making us risk anything happening to him. No one. Especially not Andrea and Shane. Fuck them."
He liked that she wasn't backing down, but he refused to be a burden on anyone. That was not how he lived his life. Never had. Never would.
"Don't want to be where we're not wanted like a couple skunks at a lawn party." He shook his head. "'Besides, we don't need them Danni."
"They need you."
"Hell you mean?"
"You said it yourself. Rick's worrying about Shane. Look at him. He's obviously getting more unreliable, he's losing it like you said. How many times have you been out with Glenn and T checking perimeters? How many times has Rick asked your opinion lately? Who do think he's depending on if anything happens. It's not Shane."
He wasn't looking at her, just squinting and chewing on his thumbnail.
"Daryl, what worked for us as kids, what we had to do to survive our fucked up families, it doesn't work out here in the real world. Running away, hiding, retreating, disappearing aren't the kind of survival skills we need now. Not if we want to do our best for our son, okay? We don't have to be those kids anymore." Her voice lowered. "We're not them anymore. We deserve more than that, he deserves more." Hold Fast to the harder path.
Daryl heard her words, but believing them was something else. His relationship with Danni was one thing, but the rest of them? He shook his head.
"Don't you see it?" She asked. "Cause I do."
She knew it was hard for him to hear. She kept going anyway. "Rick needs someone who's not going to crack under pressure. You don't. You won't."
"Sure you're okay?" he asked again.
"Yeah, I'm okay."
He got up, looked down at her and nodded. "I gotta get out of here."
She knew he was struggling. She let him go.
"Cat's out of the bag now." She said when Carol entered the tent after Daryl stalked past.
"Is he okay?" Carol asked concerned.
Danni worried she'd upset him, but said, "You know Daryl, he's fine."
"I had a feeling about you. Those questions you asked me and you're up here all the time lately. How are you feeling?"
"Like shit. Honestly, I've never felt so sick in my life. And tired. I could sleep all day, every day."
"That's normal."
"For the whole time?"
"It's different for everyone, but usually just the first trimester."
Danni let out a long deep breath of relief.
"You'll feel more normal once you start the second." Before Danni asked, she added "A trimester is about 12 weeks."
"I don't know anything. I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm just letting him take over, but it's hard for me to just surrender." Danni laughed a little. "He's giving me no choice."
"This is probably the best thing for you. We all need to go a little. You said he."
She nodded. "I just know. My dreams."
"Well, old wives tales say that while carrying a boy you don't get as big as with a girl, sometimes you don't show much at all till late into the pregnancy."
"When did you start to... get big?"
"Not till about 5 months actually, but it's different for everyone
"Everything's gonna be so hard then. Trying to move around and stuff."
"You'll get used to it. I have a feeling you'll make it work just fine."
Danni felt slightly embarrassed asking her next question. She thought she knew the answer, but wanted to be sure. She twirled her hair around her forefinger.
"Carol, is it okay to...to have sex while I'm ...like this?"
Carol nodded with a smile. "If everything's normal you can have sex up until labor if you want."
"Not that I feel like it lately, but I miss it sometimes. Daryl won't touch me. I think he's afraid of hurting me or the baby."
"Most men are, its kind of funny how they get."
"Can I ask you things if I need to? Like this?"
"Of course." She pushed the hair gently back from Danni's eyes. " I owe you everything; you brought my little girl home."
... .. .. ... .. .. .. ... ... .. .
Danni finally made it to the woods a couple of hours after the morning's drama. Daryl hadn't returned; he needed time alone to process. She was determined not to let anyone drive them from the farm. It was a new feeling. After the first sting of rejection, when no one spoke up for them, she got angry and decided to hold her ground. Their ground. Part of her wanted to just take off with Daryl, but an emotionally driven choice like that would offer only a temporary fix. Little Troublemaker wasn't just affecting her body. He was getting into her head; influencing her to make rational decisions. The words returned to her mind. Hold Fast to the harder path. He'd given her a mantra.
She saw the nettles. Making a tea with nettle and raspberry leaves could ease nausea. She'd try anything at this point. She felt someone behind her. She immediately pulled her knife and spun around. After her experience with Tony, her senses were heightened.
"I know you're not here to congratulate me, so what the hell do you want?" She said, turning to find Shane a foot behind her. He didn't answer.
"Honestly, I've had enough of you today. And just so you know, we're not going anywhere. Pass that on to your girlfriend." She remembered Andrea's smile earlier.
"Don't get too comfortable yet, the group is gonna vote on this and you ain't gonna have a choice."
Before she could answer, she saw him look at her and mutter "Son of a bitch."
He pushed past her and pulling his police folding knife plunged it into a Walker's head. Danni felt a momentary shock watching the creature fall in on itself and crumble to the ground. It seemed so long since she'd actually had to face one. Suddenly, three more snarling rotted bodies advanced from deep in the woods. Danni took out the next one, her reflexes sharpening quickly, Shane the one after that. It was disgusting but manageable with the both of them working together. She didn't pay attention to what the dead looked like or try to figure out who they had once been anymore. They were just dangerous things to kill. She felt dull arms heavy over her shoulders and the unmistakable rot filled her nose.
"Fuck!" She tried to twist out from under it avoiding its teeth. She tripped, falling beneath the corpse's moving dead weight. Shane was over in a second, pulling it off. Then it happened. While he was helping Danni, a last unexpected Walker appeared over his shoulder and tore a piece out of his neck as she watched. He pushed the creƤture to the ground punching it then fell back against a tree. She pulled herself up and skull crushed the Walker, who'd been on top of her and stomped the head of the one that had bitten Shane. The air became silent and still. She turned slowly, to see Shane against the tree. It had not been an illusion.
"You, you're..." She struggled to make sense of the scene before her. "You saved my life."
"Its my way of apologizing for being such a dick to you lately." He tried to joke.
She felt a tear roll down her cheek and tasted its salt on her lips. He was matter of fact, but his eyes were wide with fear. She knew what she had to do. Her stomach churned.
"Do it. Got no choice girl. You know what'll happen." He handed her the Glock 22, the gun he'd tested her with at the quarry camp; the one given her when she'd gone to Atlanta to look for Merle.
"Keep it. It's got your name on it remember?" He said repeating his words to her from that very day. He had been a good guy at one time. "Don't say I never gave you anything."
"Shane, what happened to you?" She wondered aloud.
He shook his head. "He's lucky... Daryl. I don't know what you see in him, but I know what he sees in you. If you'd gone for me, everything might have been different." He smiled sadly. "I know that thing we did, when you broke down on the road, meant nothing to you, but I fell for you that day. Really did. Say you liked it; I could tell you did." He let out a wet cough. Blood was getting into his lungs from the bite to his throat.
She was too overcome to say anything.
He stared into her eyes and ordered. "Do it. Now."
"All right, so give me the four rules." She said blinking back tears. She wanted him to think about something else. She used the gun safety rules, one of the first things she had ever said to him.
His voice was getting weaker with blood loss and she still heard fear.
She aimed for his head knowing he wouldn't close his eyes.
"All guns are always loaded," He coughed up a spot of blood then went on, "never let the muzzle cover anything you are not willing to destroy, keep your finger off the..." She pulled the trigger and the crack echoed louder in her ears than any sound ever had.
"trigger until your sites are on the target, be sure of your target and what is beyond it." She continued his list softly, feeling unreal as he slumped over and slid down the tree trunk.
The shot brought Rick and Daryl running to the trees. Four or five dead scattered Walkers lay on the ground. Danni was sitting beside Shane's body, his neck ripped open by dead teeth and his head pierced by her bullet. They were clear about what had happened.
She turned to them and looked up, her eyes huge, darker than Daryl had ever seen them. "He saved my life."
.. ... ... .. .. .. .. .. .. .
Even the air felt solemn as they all stood in a half circle around the fresh mound of dirt. The smell of cold, fresh acrid earth overpowered Danni. Sweat and muddy grime covered Daryl and Rick from their hours of digging and burying. They insisted on doing it alone; the best friend and the adversary. The symbolism was not lost on her.
Danni stood by the grave long after the others had drifted away. Then she sat. Shane had broken. He had been a decent guy at the beginning of all this. The pressure and horror of this new existence brought out the worst in him. But in the end, his decency came through. He'd saved her baby's life. She sat down, feeling conflicted and more grateful than ever before in her life.
"Danni, hey there." Maggie drawled and sat beside her on the ground. "I'm really glad you're okay."
Danni smiled slightly and gave Maggie's hand a quick squeeze.
"I'm so sorry for what I said the other day. About how stupid it would be to get pregnant."
"Its okay." Danni drew her legs up, hugging her knees to her chest.
"I didn't mean, well what I meant was ..."
"I know." Danni paused. "Its scary now. That's what you meant and you're right. It is damn scary."
"You're staying right here on this farm. No one wants you and Daryl to go, you know that right?"
Danni nodded again.
"And you can count on us, Glenn and me, to help you if you need anything."
"I know, I appreciate it, really."
"Hey Danni, congratulations. You're gonna be a mom." She smiled.
Maggie was the first to say it. Although they didn't know each other well, Danni took a chance, reached over and hugged her. Maggie hugged back and they began to laugh.
"You know there is something else." Maggie began. "Glenn told me you're a psychic. You can do Tarot readings."
"Yes. I don't say psychic, but yeah, readings definitely."
"Could you do one for me?'
"Why? Is something wrong or are you just curious.?"
"The pregnancy test. I took it and it didn't give a result. It blurred together. So I figured it was defective. I tried another one same thing. Danni, the third one too. Weird right? Yours was from the same batch and I'm guessing worked."
"It did. That is weird. I wouldn't worry though."
Maggie looked worried.
"Tomorrow, I'll come by and we'll do a reading okay?"
"Thanks, I'd like that."
"But, send Glenn to get another test."
Maggie stood nodding and while walking away said, "I'm happy for you and Daryl. Real happy."
... ... .. .. .. .. ... ... .
After dusk, Daryl approached and crouched beside her. He put her hoodie over her shoulders.
"Staying here all night?"
"Are you glad he's dead?"
"Not glad. I hated the prick, but nobody deserves to go like that."
"You realize what he did, don't you?"
Daryl knew he owed Shane his baby's life, Danni's too. He wished he didn't. He nodded.
"He was gonna be a problem. Don't forget that. He was goin' off the rails. He don't deserve you sitting vigil like this." Daryl didn't like it.
"I know."
When she didn't get up, he said, "It's getting cold." Meaning 'let's go.'
.. .. ... .. ... .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .
The fire outside the tent was going strong, providing warm, golden light. The flames flickered in both their eyes.
"I didn't mean to upset you. I know Shane was a problem. Hell, he's been our problem for months."
"He tried to come between us, you know that." Daryl reminded her.
She nodded. "But, pulling the trigger, looking in his eyes after what he...was just..."
"It's done, stop thinking about it. Can't afford to. You're here, he's not; that's all that needs thinking about."
"It's done." She assured him, knowing he was right.
He hadn't said anything about their earlier conversation, but Danni realized he'd spent most of the day with Rick even after the Shane situation. Walkers getting so close today was a potential disaster. Rick needed Daryl's help more than ever.
She stood and pulled him to his feet.
"Hey, Little Troublemaker isn't giving me any trouble right now." Danni leaned forward, wrapped her arms around Daryl's neck and shoved her body forcefully against his. One of his hands drifted to her waist while the other slid up the side of her body and cupped the back of her head, fingering and playing with her ponytail.
"You like my hair, don't you?" Danni asked softly.
"Yeah." It was black as midnight and smelled like honeysuckle all the time.
He missed her body; missed connecting with her that way. "You sure we ain't gonna hurt him?"
"Yes, I already told you."
It had been weeks since she'd felt okay enough to have sex. On the rare occasions, when she had, he'd begged off. She knew he was afraid. They'd never gone this long without each other since they'd been together.
Daryl angled his face down and kissed her, sliding his tongue in between her lips seeking out her own. Upon finding it he sucked at it gently and she moaned softly into his mouth.
"Let's just take it easy, tonight." He pulled back.
He was still thinking about the baby. Worrying. She shook her head, pushing against him.
Kissing her and feeling her warm body pressed against his sent heat up his spine and he began to harden. He tried to hide his erection from her, but she pressed her right thigh against it and began to rub from side to side, trying to work him up more.
"I need you." To fuck this whole goddamned day out of me. She felt desperate for him. It had been so long and her hormones were all over the map.
Her words broke him down. He slid his hand inside her jeans and cupped it against her sex, stroking and rubbing at her pussy through the moist cloth.
As his hand stroked her between her legs, she moved her mouth back to his and began kissing him hard while rubbing her thigh against his crotch to keep him nice and stiff.
The cloth of her panties became damper as her hips began to slide against his hand urging him to rub harder, faster.
The torture of being kissed and finally touching her again made him start moving back and forth between her thighs gaining a certain amount of pleasure from the friction. Danni eased her lips away from his and slid her tongue down his cheek, licking its way along his jaw line until her lips made contact with his ear. She pulled him down and straddled his lap facing him, grinding slightly, to maintain their intense arousal.
They sat for a moment and looked at one another, sharing the silence in complete comfort. That was one thing that he still found hard to believe, how easy it was with her. It wasn't just sex. Daryl felt comfortable no matter what they were doing. She moved off his body and lay beside him. They silently rushed to undress. He positioned himself on top of her with his erection pressed between her legs. He distributed a large part of his weight onto his left arm which was lying above her head so he wouldn't be too heavy on her body.
He shuddered in anticipation when he moved himself against the folds between her legs. He reached down between them and eased himself in. It had been so long since he'd been here. He lay still inside wanting to feel her adapt to him. Everything suddenly faded until only Danni remained. She was looking at him with her large hazel eyes, lips quivering slightly as her tongue darted out now and then to lick them.
"Fuck me," she finally whispered, loosening her legs around his waist.
Daryl didn't need to be told twice. In the time, it takes to blink he'd already pulled back and thrust deep into her again, groaning as she tightened around him. The initial strokes were long and slow; he wanted the experience to last as long as humanly possible.
Soft throaty sighs escaped her as she panted and her body began to rock in time with his, elevating her pelvis to meet the thrusts, making him drive into her harder and faster. Then she kissed him, passionate and hungry all tongues and soft lips.
"You feel so goddamn good." Danni couldn't hold back the words.
Every time he banged deep she would let out a low, guttural grunt. Her eyes were shut tight and her brow was creased, sweat forming on it as they continued to pound their bodies together.
"I'm not hurting you, am I?" he asked, still worrying a little.
Danni didn't open her eyes or answer him, she just continued to shove her hips upwards and pull his body down to hers. Her warm confines were driving him insane.
"Don't know how much longer..." he gasped, beginning to get that familiar ache as he slammed in and out of her.
"It's okay," she whimpered. "I'm going to come soon...don't hold back, keep fucking me as hard as you can."
'Yeah?" He rasped.
"Uh huh," she said, bringing a hand to his face and stroking his cheek gently. Her trembling lips found his and they kissed while he continued thrusting.
"Make me come." She breathed from beneath him, pressing her hips against his still trying to drive him further into her body. Her arms tightened around his back as her lips became shaky on his and her entire body quaked. She was close.
"That sounded...like...an order," Daryl groaned, his own orgasm so imminent that he could only stammer out his words.
"Good, because... that's what it was."
"As long...as we're clear...about it."
Then Danni came. At first her body hardened against his and her mouth opened and melted into him, her hips jerking against his with involuntary thrusts and grinds.
"Oh shit, I can't...please..." she whispered and whimpered as the pleasure between her legs shot through her entire body. Daryl loved doing this to her, creating such a powerful reaction.
"Fuck Daryl, don't stop."
While her body shook with the intensity of her orgasm, he felt her spasm and twitch every few seconds at his continuous invasion. Small cries came from her throat as he kept fucking her, each hard stroke bringing him one step closer to reaching his own climax. All of a sudden she pulled his neck down to her mouth, clamping her teeth around his skin in trying to smother the cries. The vibrations and muffled moans that passed through her teeth to his skin, coupled with the effects her pussy was having on him, sent an intense rush of heat through him. It had been so long since he'd been here with her like this.
"Now it's your turn, come for me," she sighed, her voice husky and trembling. Danni's words drove him over the edge. Her soft, warm body was still writhing against his and it began to build up; he throbbed and spurt, shuddering as came deep inside her body. Daryl's lips found hers and he kissed her, groaning into her mouth as he let himself go. Warm skin touching warm skin, wet tongues, soft breasts, stroking hands; it was all so much that he began to shake.
"Daryl? Are you alright?"
"Fine." he stammered.
"You're not fine, you're shivering."
"It's just that what we just did feels ..." It was almost like their first time.
"I know," she whispered. "Words can't."
They kissed again, this time a sweet kiss with one of her hands tenderly caressing his cheek while the other roamed his back. It took almost five minutes of soft kissing and gentle stroking for Danni to settle him. Her patience and warmth were so apparent that he couldn't help but feel his heart ache realizing she always knew what he needed.
"Better?" She smiled. The one he'd loved since he first saw it.
"Yeah, sorry 'bout that."
"Never be sorry with me."
Daryl loved how she looked at him, but he still didn't know how she saw into his soul to emotionally connect with him in a way no other person ever had. Or ever would. He just knew he trusted her.
His eyes continued to pierce hers until finally Daryl felt tears forming, forcing him to blink rapidly. As he wiped them away and opened his lids, the first thing he saw was Danni softly smiling at him, tears streaming from her own eyes.
"You're beautiful." He'd never said that to her before. He wasn't comfortable with compliments, so she treasured this one.
"Flattery will get you everywhere."
"I thought I just did get everywhere."
... .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ... .. ..
After an hour or two he woke and reached for her but she wasn't next to him. She was always up at night now. He heard her retching outside the tent. He went out and found her on her knees. He leaned over her, holding her hair back, feeling helpless as she heaved with nothing to expel. Finally, she collapsed. He pulled her crumpled, spent body onto his lap, and pushed her strands of sweaty hair back from her face.
"I'm fine, go back to sleep."
"Bullshit you ain't fine. Just shut up." He said as he held her. "Sorry." He mumbled, wishing he could stop this from happening to her. It was all the time lately. She couldn't keep anything down.
"Little Troublemaker at it again?"
She nodded into his lap.
"Try to sleep." He said.
She crawled into the tent with him and lay beside his substantial form, head on his arm, her nausea beginning to subside.
Little troublemaker all right. She laughed softly, pressed against him for warmth and closed her eyes.
"You can take the gun off my back Merle. And untie my hands. I'm not going anywhere; I'm bringing you to him. I promise. After what you did for me back there-'
"Promise, huh? Well, little queenie, seeing as we're practically family, I can do that."
Family; oh my god. Uncle Merle?
He untied her.
"Can I have my knife back, I'm kind of sentimental about it."
"Don't think so darlin'. We ain't family yet."
She sighed two out of three was pretty good.
"And just remember I didn't do nothin' for you. Did it for Daryl."
"Like a big brother should." She stated.
Merle grunted.
They walked through the woods in silence until Danni said "You couldn't have saved him you know."
"Hell you talking bout queenie?"
"I saw his scars. You have your own fair share I bet."
"Watch it, you don't know nothin' about me and my brother. Want me to put a gag on ya? I will."
"I know you meant to go back. But once you get away, really get away, the freedom and the not being afraid and having a life for the first time it just...it gets in the way. You mean to. You meant to go back."
"I think I might be using that gag in a minute." He warned.
"But everybody forgets about you." She kept on. "You got the shit beat out of you too. Or worse. You had to save yourself because when you're the oldest there's no one looking out for you." She sounded far away as if she were talking more about herself than Merle. "No one. You could only have protected him so much. Shit, you were just a kid too. Maybe older but still a kid. Sometimes it doesn't seem fair they put too much on small shoulders you know?"
"Life ain't fair." Merle was visibly uncomfortable. "This what my brother likes about you? All this running your mouth off? Got tongue enough for ten rows of teeth." He said it with less gruffness than she expected.
"I never told anybody this."
"Well don't go tellin' me then. Shut your mouth or I'll shut it for you. I don't care what Daryl thinks." Again, his tone had less snarl, less anger than usual.
Her voice got softer. "I did go back, but it was too late. She was already gone. She killed herself that night, right before I showed up to take her away from it all. My little sister; she was only thirteen. I was an hour too late. A fucking hour." Danni still had the note, but she'd memorized Tara's written words; they lived forever in her head.
I met the devil in a dark white room, said she was up for me to play the fool
Then she gave me a gift, "take this pill and go to sleep."
I never woke up
Danni didn't cry over it anymore. She was struggling to come to terms with the fact that it wasn't her fault. She was seventeen, just a kid too. She imagined Merle living with his own kind of guilt.
"Queenie, why you tellin' me this?"
"Because you're the oldest too." She studied his eyes, he looked away agitated.
"You didn't lose Daryl. I'm taking you to him."
"Merle is alive." She said aloud opening her eyes.
She shook Daryl awake.
"What, you okay..."
"Merle is alive."
"What are you talking about?" He turned toward her. Her words sent chills down his spine. She was breathless and earnest as she spoke.
"A dream, my dream. He's out there Daryl and I think he's looking for you."
If angels are messengers from God,
Please send one down to me
