In an instant the room was swarmed with doctors and nurses. Shane's shirt was yanked off and tossed aside. One of the doctors placed a bag over his face and another slammed paddles into his chest. Jethro and Amy clung to each other in pure terror. They had known going in that Shane may not survive this, but they had assumed they would at least have time. Never in a million years did they even imagine that it could even possibly end like this. Shane had been fine that morning. It hadn't been his best day but it also hadn't been his worst. How could they ever anticipate anything like this. It was just across the room but it felt like it was across the planet. The doctors shouted orders and continually shoved the paddles into Shane's chest.

"We have a pulse!" One of the doctors finally yelled.


Once the ordeal was finally over Shane was transferred to a room in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit. He was hooked up to a seemingly endless mass of tubes and wires. Jethro shuddered at the sight. He was still haunted by the memories of when Tony was so sick. Of all those hours of uncertainty. He clearly remembered if Tony would be able to follow his order. Now he looked down at Shane and while the circumstances were very different. The terror was the same. Nothing was certain and even his orders may not be strong enough to save Shane. He gently stroked the boy's forehead and wondered if this was it. If it were what was the point of this whole thing? Why did he find Shane only for him to die in such a horrible way? Why did he find this precious link to Tony only to lose it? He still had Laura but she was not the same. Not because she was a girl but because she did not share the likeness to Tony that Shane showed. They had a lot in common and she was basically girl Tony in appearance. She just did not have that personality. The bold but fairly shy personality.

"Please keep fighting." Jethro pleaded as he held Shane's hand.


Hours later Jethro found himself sitting in the hospital's small chapel. Amy had spent hours in prayer for Shane and was now home with the other children. Jethro had scoffed at the idea of praying to the same God who had given Shane cancer. The alleged Savior who had failed to save Tony. Faith had never exactly been Jethro's strong suit. Not after watching his mom die a horrible and drawn out death from cancer. When he was small he went to church because Jack made him and he was not yet bold enough to argue. Once the testosterone kicked in at puberty that was all over. The residents of Stillwater said it was just because he was young. That their son had done the same thing at that age and had come around in time. Jethro did not come around. It would take the death of Jackson Gibbs himself to bring Jethro back to the Stillwater Community Church. He stormed out of a service three days past thirteen, sped past it on his way to the Marines, and only entered when he was forced to see Jack's body. Shannon's parents were devout Catholics but Shannon rarely attended church. Until Kelly was born. Then it was church every Sunday but Jethro always had an excuse. Diane only acknowledged God in the bedroom and Jethro would hardly call that devotion. Rebekah was brought up as a Baptist and practiced religion when they first met but then the drinking took over everything. Stephanie had grown up practicing Judaism but in adulthood declared herself to be agnostic. Amy was the first who had insisted that Jethro attend church. He had tried and he had even appreciated it. Until Shane got sick. It was kind of hard to love God when his three year old may be dying from cancer. Shane did not deserve any of the hand he had been dealt. If anyone deserved this fate it was Anton. He was the monster who had put Shane and Laura through all the suffering. A life in prison was not enough for the sins that man had committed. It did not make sense that God would let Shane suffer but would spare a monster like Anton. He knew that Amy would tell him these feelings were normal and drag him to see the father. The only reason he was in here. Was because he needed to get away. Pure and simple he needed to get away.

"I guess you think that you are being funny. To take an innocent child. Sure he could pull through but really, how many more chances does he have? I thought Tony was invincible but then he took himself from me. Now Shane is lying up in the ICU and they can't tell me anything. Just that if there isn't major improvement overnight. It would be best to bring the other kids to say goodbye. This was supposed to be good. Shane was supposed to beat the cancer. Why do you keep pulling the rug out from us? He has done nothing wrong. I sure as hell have but why punish Shane? Why Amy your most loyal servant and why my innocent children? Why are they paying for my sins? Why did Tony pay the price for Anton's? Why can you not punish the right people? Amy will say it is part of your plan but what plan? What could we possibly learn from a toddler dying of cancer? What good will it do? What Laura will become a doctor or medical researcher. She is a bright kid. She could have come to that on her own. What is it to teach Liam and Emma patience and understanding. Well Liam got it and Emma is still young. Why could you not give her time? What is it to bring me and Amy closer together? To teach us to appreciate what we have? Well we get that! You have done not good! Just stop with this charade and save my baby boy. Please just save my baby boy!" Jethro shouted to the darkness.


A/N: Poor Jethro has so much doubt. Will he ever be able to understand Shane's illness. New chapter will be up soon. Please review and thanks for reading.