A Heart For My Nobody says:

Hey guys! Thank you all! As of last update, "What Makes A SOLDIER" has received its 100th review! This was my second story ever to have broken even the double-digits in reviews, and now, thanks to all of you, it's broken the triples! I can't express my appreciation enough for all of my viewers who have stuck with me and given me such wonderful reviews, and for all the people that will do so in the future. You guys rock! I hope you all enjoy this next chapter, and thanks again for reading this far! Much love.


Cloud

I hadn't planned on returning to my house again so soon, but when I woke up and saw that Zack was nowhere to be found, that's where I decided to go. I figured that Zack was probably paying Sephiroth another visit. I wondered what was going on with them, but I went to my house to clear my mind. I supposed I really enjoyed being able to go back to a place from my past, a comfortable place. My mom didn't question me too much about my job, or about SOLDIER, because she was proud of me as it was, and that was a comforting feeling. I found myself laying on the bed downstairs, listening to the water run as she cleaned the dishes, and just thinking to myself. After a few minutes, the water faucet turned off, and she turned my direction, drying her hands on a small towel.

"My, how you've grown," she said. Her voice was quiet, but it carried well through the air. Smiling, she placed the towel back on its rack. "I'll bet the girls never leave you alone."

"...Not really." I responded, finding it hard to talk after so much thinking.

"They have no opportunity with you always going on your missions, then," she decided, stepping closer to the bed. "...I'm worried about you."

"Why?" I asked, turning my head to better look at her. She shrugged a little as she formulated her words.

"There are a lot of temptations in the city..." she started, pausing again before saying anything else. "I'd feel a lot better if you just settled down and had a nice girlfriend."

"...I'm all right," I said, sighing a little. I would've been able to take that comment a little better had I actually been a first class, but the idea of 'settling down' after only achieving such a mediocre job didn't sit well in my stomach. Even still, my mom had been talking to me about relationships for a while, so it wasn't a surprise.

"You should have..." she thought aloud, touching her chin, "an older girlfriend, one that'll take care of you." She smiled, seemingly content with her choice. "I think that would be the perfect type for you."

"...I'm not interested," I responded, even though I realized the answer was a bit blunt. I couldn't think about my words too well, because my thoughts were occupied by the fact that she seemed to be describing someone who fit the standards of a female Zack. I figured that I may have just been paranoia, but her next words didn't help.

"...What about Zack?" she asked, taking a seat on the bed. I flinched, but I didn't think she'd noticed. "Does he have a lady?"

"I don't know," I said plainly. She shifted and stood up from the bed.

"Well, don't let yourself become one of those all work types." She walked over to the counter again to clean a few more plates. I leaned up on the bed to watch her as she continued to talk. "You young men need lives too, you know?"

"We have lives," I said defensively, standing up and walking closer to her. "Would you like help with those?"

"I've got them." She smiled back as a thank you. "What about food? Are you eating right?"

"I'm all right," I assured her. "The company takes care of me."

"Is that so?" She turned around with a skeptical look in her eye. "You can't cook, right? I was worried sick about how you were doing..."

"Mom, I'm telling you," I smiled, crossing my arms, "I'm all right. I'm getting by fine." She smiled back and nodded, shutting her eyes.

"Oh, I know." She laughed a little. "But I can't help but to worry. I am your mother after all." She walked past me and started straightening out the bed. "Anyway, that army food can't compare to good old fashioned home cooking. Why don't you and Zack come over again for dinner? Where have you been staying, anyway?"

"In the inn." I gestured in the general direction of the place. "And sure, I'll ask him about it."

"You've been staying at an inn in your own hometown?" She cupped her hands on her hips. "You can stay here tonight."

"I don't need..." I started to say, but she kept talking.

"Why don't you invite Zack, too? There's an extra bed upstairs, and I'll just sleep down here."

"Mom, you don't have to," I said, feeling surprisingly imposing on my own home. She shook her head.

"I know I don't have to," she went on, "but I insist. Who knows how long it will be until I have more visitors after you leave?" It was from those words that I could tell that she really meant it. Also, I knew it would be a losing battle to try and argue her hospitality. It was around midday when I went out in search for Zack again. I found him where I had suspected, just outside of the Shinra Manor. He perked up when he saw me, and ran over.

"Slept in today..." He grinned, scratching at the back of his neck. I didn't know what he was talking about. As far as I knew, he'd been the first one up in the morning.

"Mom wants us to sleep at my house tonight," I said, wanting to get the offer out. "She also invited you to dinner again."

"Nice!" he said, gripping his fist tight in front of him, as he seemed to like to do. "I guess she likes me, huh?" I smiled at him, and he smiled back. Then he walked closer and put his hand on my shoulder. "Listen, man... you have to go say hi to Tifa at some point."

"I know..." I hung my head. "Just let me do it on my own time, okay?"

"Right." He nodded, and took back his hand. "Well, I'm gonna go tell the guys that they have the place to themselves!" He ran off before I could stop him. I didn't exactly want to rub it in the faces of the other infantrymen that I was hanging out a whole lot with Zack. They'd already given me the idea that they thought something was up, especially Dallert.

A short while later, I met with Zack again outside the well, and we proceeded back to my house. That evening, my mom served a pasta and salad. Everything was fresh, as always, and it still all reminded me of when I was a child, but my mind was focused more on Zack. Somehow that felt different than the first night he was over. The three of us seemed to talk more freely amongst each other, but I actually felt more nervous about Zack than my mom. I'd never had someone stay over my house before, not even Tifa when we were young. And finally that time came, when my mom removed the dishes from the table and turned back to me.

"Why don't you show Zack where he'll be sleeping?" she said over the clatter of plates. "I'm going to do a few chores down here." I nodded in response, standing from my seat, and Zack stood as well. He was staring at me, waiting for me to lead, so I turned and started toward the stairs, signaling him to follow.

"Didn't actually notice this place had an upper floor," he said, looking around as we reached the top. The upstairs was small, consisting of only two rooms. One room was occupied by miscellaneous things, and served mostly as a storage room, and the other room had two beds, my mom's bed and my old one. I took Zack into the room with the beds, and pointed to my old bed.

"You can sleep there," I said, and he looked the bed over. "I'll be sleeping on the other one."

"Where's your mom sleeping tonight?" He cocked his head at me, taking a seat on the bed.

"Downstairs. She insisted." I shrugged and chose to keep standing. Zack laughed.

"A sleepover..." He shook his head, smiling. "I'd heard of them, but I've never had one."

"Me neither..." I said, walking over to a framed photo on the nightstand. I picked it up and looked at the faces. It was myself, my mother, and my father. I wasn't a baby in the picture, but I was young enough that my mother was carrying me. I remembered her telling me that picture was the last one we took together before my father died. I was so young that I barely remembered him.

"...Your family?" Zack startled me as he walked up, and I put the frame back down.

"Yeah," I answered, not turning to look at him.

"You look happy," he said and turned away, throwing his arms up behind his head. He took a few steps around the room, and it looked like he was thinking to himself. "Hey, Cloud?"

"Huh?" I turned to look at him, and he was staring out a window. There was a long pause before he spoke again, and I almost decided to respond a second time.

"If it's alright with you..." he started, but paused again. Then he turned around to face me, looking serious. "When we get back, I'd like to recommend you for SOLDIER." I took a deep breath, and felt myself stop. I had to replay his words over in my head, unable to really believe them. Just the other day, Zack was talking about how SOLDIER was something to not get involved with. Even still, it had been something I'd wanted for years.

"Zack..." I said, wanting to say something. I didn't really know how to respond to him. Was that really the way I wanted to get into the SOLDIER ranks? Then again, weren't most SOLDIERs recruited based on a higher rank's observation and recommendation?

"I mean... you don't have to decide until we get back," he said, shifting and taking a step forward. "But I think you'd make a great addition to the team."

"I'm gonna get some fresh air," I said finally, and I turned to walk out. He looked disappointed until I looked back at him and smiled. "Come on. I want to show you something."

Zack followed me out of the room, and into the adjacent one. Along with the piles of trinkets and antiques, there was a small ladder leading to a large open window. I climbed up and he followed me, out onto the gentle slope of the roof. The sun was down already, and the night breeze welcomed us as I took a seat. Zack said nothing, but took in the sight contently.

"I used to sit up here a lot," I said, looking off the roof into town. "The quiet and the view helped me think."

"Hmmm." Zack smiled, looking off the side as well.

"I like high places," I continued, pulling my legs in close to me. "One day I'd like to ride in one of Shinra's airships, and not get sick." Zack laughed a little and looked at me.

"I know you can do it." He smiled. Then he tilted his head back to look at the stars, letting the moonlight reflect off his face. "Someday... I'd like to fly up really high into the sky." His smile broadened as he thought about that. "It's the only place I can't reach, and it's so... big. I can't really think of a good way to describe it, you know?" I nodded to myself and made a noise. He seemed to take that as enough of an answer, and continued to watch the stars. "Those mountains might be rough to travel, but they're sure pretty at night," he thought aloud. I leaned back.

"Why'd you change your mind about SOLDIER?" I asked, and he turned his head to me.

"Well..." he said, leaning up a little. "You said something to me that I said to my mentor in the past."

"Angeal...?" I thought aloud, and he nodded.

"Yeah, and it reminded me of when I was excited about my job." He clutched his fist shut. "SOLDIER's about honor, and living your dreams. It's always been a dream of yours, right?"

"Hmmm." I smiled, looking at the stars myself. "Yeah."

"And with Commander Lazard... killed in action, I just need to pass it by Tseng and... Sephiroth." He paused in his speech, apparently shrugging off some discomfort. "After this whole Genesis thing, we really need more guys like you."

"Zack..." I shifted and turned to him. "Thank you." My tone was even more serious than I meant it to be.

"Ah... hah." He scratched at the back of his neck, grinning off his embarrassment. I wished it were a little lighter, so that I might have actually seen a first class blush. I felt myself tense as I went on.

"And thank you for bringing me to Gold Saucer with you, and for coming to my house with me..." I felt like I was beginning to ramble, and Zack ceased his embarrassment to watch me talk. I paused for a long moment, letting my head hang a little. The cool night air felt just a little too cool that moment. Everything felt a little too present. Nothing felt like the right moment, but I knew I needed to start thinking on my own. I knew that I could finally expect a future where I wouldn't be waiting for my orders, or for someone else to make their move. So I made my own move, and I leaned forward, closing the distance between me and Zack. I lifted my hand and drew his face in closer to mine, until I felt our lips touch together, slowly. His lips were already parted, and I kissed them gently, getting used to the feeling, all the feelings. I pulled away just a fraction of an inch, breathing a final time, and then pressed again into him. I felt him sigh into the kiss, but it was a good sigh. Then, his hand was against the back of my head, just behind my ear. He leaned into the kiss, and I heard his glove crinkle as his fingers closed around my hair. His lips were warm, and the kiss turned into several, as we took breaks for hitched breaths.

His hand slid out of my hair and down the back of my neck, resting on my shoulder. I felt his other grasp the hand I was using to hold myself up, and he leaned against it. As our lips parted again, I heard the sound of our heavy breath, and we touched our heads together. My eyes eased open, and I hadn't really realized that they were closed. I scanned Zack's face, watching his mouth move with each breath, and how his eyes seemed to flicker under his still closed lids, and I smiled.

Nothing could destroy that moment. It didn't matter what had happened yesterday, or what would happen tomorrow, or in a week. That moment, with Zack there under the stars... it was untouchable. He opened his eyes to look into mine, and I watched as the mako swirled in his stare. There was something so perfect about him. I didn't really know what it was, but when I was with him, I felt safe. I felt like the world was safe, and like everything was okay. Like I could do anything. It felt hard to repay that feeling, but as I watched his mouth curl into a smile, I saw a reflection of exactly what I was thinking. That night, my life had more hope than it ever had, and more meaning. We sat there in silence for a long time, and even as we got up to go to bed, it was all that was on my mind. I went to sleep with a new confidence, ready for the events of the next day. Once again, Zack had helped me figure out exactly what I needed to do.