DISCLAIMER: ALL THINGS TWILIGHT BELONG TO STEPHENIE MEYER.
A/N: Thank you so much to the most wonderful beta on earth, JustineNicole _ you are too fabulous for words and I love you! Thanks to all of you that read, review and rec - I appreciate it so much!
~XXXX~
EPOV
"I'm scared, Bella. I don't want to be in trouble."
She squeezes my hand and I notice her eyes are watery when she looks at me.
"I know. I don't want you to get in trouble either. It will be okay. It will..."
Bella's words don't make me feel better. It feels more like she is talking to herself than me.
"Edward, they're ready for you now." The secretary speaks softy and smiles at me.
Bella kisses me on the lips and whispers, "I'll be right here. I love you, no matter what."
I hug Bella tight, pressing my face to her, wishing I didn't have to go into that office.
Bella lets me go and steps back. She tries to smile, but I know she is worried.
I walk through the door marked Hospital Administrator, my nerves making me feel ill.
Mr. Alistair, the hospital administrator, watches me enter and motions for me to take a seat in one of the chairs in front of his desk. I sit in the only chair left; Paul is sitting in one, Carlisle in another.
I'm glad I get to have Carlisle in here with me. He will make sure I don't mess up.
"Alright, gentlemen, I think we need to examine the events that occurred recently to determine exactly what happened."
Mr. Alistair slides a piece of paper across the desk. "Paul has lodged a complaint against you, Edward. He states that you struck him in the face without provocation. Is this true?"
I feel panic twisting my stomach and look to Carlisle. He leans close and speaks where only I can hear, "Provocation means reason. Did you have a reason for hitting Paul?"
"No. I had a reason," I inform Mr. Alistair. I look to Carlisle again and he nods at me. Bella and I already explained everything to Carlisle, and he told me it's very important that I explain everything to Mr. Alistair.
I tell him about my first day. I tell him about the jokes and how I didn't understand them, and Paul giving me the name Special Ed. I tell Mr. Alistair about Bella explaining how Paul was making fun of me, how I had asked him to stop, and how I had been ignoring him. Finally, I tell him about the day I punched Paul. How it was a regular day - he teased, I ignored. I tell him about Bella coming to take me home and Paul laughing at the idea of Bella being my girlfriend. I explain how Paul called me Special Ed in front of Bella and about the snapping inside me and hitting Paul.
Mr. Alistair doesn't say a word while I talk. He doesn't smile or frown, just watches me and listens. He looks at Paul. "Is everything Edward said true?"
Paul squirms in his chair, looks at the floor and doesn't answer.
Mr. Alistair looks annoyed. "Mr. Lahote, will you please answer the question?"
Paul shifts again and looks up. "It's true."
Mr. Alistair sighs loudly, looking back and forth between Paul and me.
"I should fire you both, but your supervisor spoke highly of both of you, and I don't have people beating down my door to work here."
He sighs again and begins shuffling papers across his desk. "You will each apologize to each other, to your supervisor, and the rest of the kitchen staff, and both of you will be on a probation period. Any more incidences and you will be fired. Do either of you have anything else to add?"
"I can't apologize; I'm not sorry," I state.
"Can I speak with Edward a moment?" Carlisle asks Mr. Alistair.
He gives a small nod and turns his attention to the papers on his desk.
Carlisle leans close and speaks in a whisper. "Edward, it's important that you apologize."
Carlisle's words confuse me. "But I'm not sorry," I say again.
"I understand, Edward, but sometimes we have to say things we don't want to or don't mean."
"You...you want me to lie?" I'm even more confused now.
"No, not lie exactly. Isn't part of you sorry for how things happened, even if you aren't really sorry for punching Paul?"
I'm sorry I have caused trouble for Carlisle, but not for hitting Paul, and I tell Carlisle that.
He sighs deeply. "You should tell Mr. Alistair you are quitting. It looks better than being fired."
I look away from Carlisle. He seems tired. I look at Mr. Alistair, but he's still looking at the papers on his desk. Finally I look at Paul. His eyes are on the floor. His lips are still bruised and his nose is kind of swollen. Even looking at his face, I feel no sorrow for my actions. But, looking at the tired faces of Carlisle and Mr. Alistair, I feel bad for causing trouble for them.
"I'm sorry." All eyes are on me. "I'm sorry for the trouble I caused."
Paul gives a small nod and mumbles a "Sorry" at me.
"Thank you, gentlemen. Make sure you extend these sentiments to your supervisor and your fellow employees at your earliest convenience," Mr. Alistair says. He doesn't even stop looking through the papers on his desk when he speaks.
Carlisle touches me on the shoulder, telling me it's okay for me to leave now.
~xx~
Bella's hug feels wonderful once I'm out of Mr. Alistair's office.
"How did it go?" she asks, her voice worried.
"Okay." I tell her everything that was said.
"Sounds like Mr. Alistair was trying to be very fair. I'm glad you didn't get in real trouble." Bella pulls away from me to look at my face. "You don't look very happy. Are you alright?"
I notice Paul and Carlisle over Bella's shoulder as I think about her question. Carlisle already told me he has patients waiting on him and he checks his Blackberry as he hurries down the hall. Paul walks past us silently, never moving his gaze from the floor in front of him.
"Yes. I'm alright. I'm just glad this is over."
Bella looks at me a moment longer. She knows I'm not telling her something, but she doesn't ask and I'm glad for that. Even though Mr. Alistair seemed pleased with my apology, I feel like I wasn't really truthful, but I just couldn't make myself be sorry for hitting Paul. So I apologized for the only thing I could - causing trouble. It still feels wrong, though, like a half-truth. I remember Mom telling me as kid to always tell the truth, but I also remember Dad telling me sometimes it's okay to tell a half-truth, like when we would have a surprise for Mom and I would have to keep it a secret.
All these thoughts make my head hurt and there is only one thing I am sure of: being an adult is hard.
~xx~
BPOV
One final look in the mirror…and I still can't believe I let Alice talk me into buying this outfit.
The black leather pants fit like they were sewn onto my body - more a second skin than a piece of clothing, and the flimsy silver top shows off my minuscule cleavage...I feel virtually naked.
Slowly, so I don't break my neck in the ridiculous shoes I'm wearing, I make my way out to the living room where Edward is waiting for me. He's watching TV on the couch when I step out of the bedroom, though he shuts it off and stands up as soon as he sees me.
My breath catches in my throat when Edward stands before me. I have seen the clothes that he and Jasper picked out for the club tonight, but seeing them on the hanger and seeing them on Edward are two entirely different things.
The dark wash jeans hug his legs making them look even longer than they naturally are. The black button-down shirt he's wearing shows off his toned body, from the rolled sleeves revealing muscled arms, to the silver buttons running the length of his torso - making for a very appealing package.
When he slides on a pair of reflective sunglasses and extends his hand to me, I feel my mouth go dry and my temperature shoot up a few degrees.
On any other man that move would have looked rehearsed, but on Edward...it's perfect.
He settles an arm around me as we walk out the door.
"I like this shirt," he tells me. When I look up at him with questioning eyes his only response is to stretch his fingers further across my back. His touch is his answer. Of course he likes it...this shirt with it's low-scooped back makes it impossible for me to wear a bra and gives him unfettered access to a patch of bare skin.
Shivers crawl over my skin, but not from the nip in the night air. Edward's touch is lingering and promising; he seems excited. Perhaps going to this club won't be such a bad idea after all.
~xx~
I can feel the music thrumming through the concrete as we wait in line to enter Club Twilight. Alice and Jasper are just ahead of us, lost in their own world, holding each other close.
Edward has his arm around me again, his fingers tracing up and down my spine. I observe the people around us, most similar to ourselves - couples and small groups waiting their turn to get inside. Several pairs of eyes are lingering on Edward, drinking in his beauty and he is completely oblivious, his eyes are focused on me.
When it's finally our turn to enter, excitement permeates the air around us, pulsing through the crowd with a life of its own. The club mix of Moves Like Jagger has set everyone dancing and I'm amused at how Edward watches with fascination.
The song changes as I pull Edward along the edge of the dance floor, intent on making my way to the bar for a soda.
I don't recognize the song, but the rhythm is slow and rich, almost seductive.
Edward and I watch the couples begin to sway and grind to the beat.
"Teach me," he whispers in my ear.
"I don't know how to dance like that, Edward."
"You know how to dance, I've seen you."
I can feel the surprise cross my face. I'm always careful to make sure no one ever sees me dance.
"When have you seen me?"
"When you aren't looking." There is mischief in his eyes when I look at his face and I'm left completely speechless.
Edward moves to the dance floor, pulling me with him and finds us a spot where the crowd doesn't press too tightly.
Edward watches the people around us for a moment before pulling me flush to his body, his hand sliding to the small of my back.
"Show me," he says again.
"Put your other hand on my hip and find the beat with your body."
Edward's hand glides down to grip my hip and he moves his body along with mine. His natural grace puts me to shame.
I have no idea how long we sway to the music, long after that first song ended, and I find that I don't mind being on the dance floor. At least, as long as Edward is with me.
"Bella! Edward!" Even yelling Alice's voice can barely be heard above the music and she's only a couple feet away. "Drinks?"
I nod and only now notice Edward and I are the only ones still dancing slowly. Everyone around us is moving more vigorously to an up-tempo beat.
We join Alice and Jasper at a small table, grateful for the cool moisture of our sodas.
Alice is in her element - she enthuses about the music, the mood, and discusses half the girls' outfits in the place. Jasper just smiles his ever patient smile, holding her hand and placing the occasional kiss on her neck. Edward looks as stunned as I feel. I love Alice to death, but sometimes her never-ending chatter could wear the patience of a saint.
Edward and I stay seated after Alice and Jasper headed back to the dance floor. We don't talk, just watch. I watch the dance floor and Edward watches me. Every time I check to see if he has shifted his gaze, his eyes are fixed on me - longing clearly reflected in their depths.
We dance to a few more songs, but Edward doesn't seem as enthusiastic as before; he seems distracted.
"Are you okay?" I ask him.
"Yes. Can we leave now?"
"Of course," I respond and we find Alice and Jasper to let them know we're leaving.
Alice looks a little disappointed, but thanks us for coming up to Seattle, and before I can even assure her it was no trouble, she has melted back into the crowd of dancers.
~xx~
The drive home is quiet, too quiet really. I expected Edward to have a hundred questions, about the club, about the way people were dressed, or the very suggestive way some of them were dancing.
"Are you sure everything is okay?" his silence finally drives me to ask.
"Yeah. Just thinking."
"About anything particular?"
"Just some things I want to do," he tells me.
I let the subject drop, even though I'm dying to know what's going on in his head he has the right to keep his thoughts to himself.
~xx~
I get ready for bed the same way I always do: brush my hair, my teeth, and slip into a tank top to accompany my underwear.
When I step out of the bathroom, I'm met with anything but the typical scene. Usually Edward is waiting under the covers in his boxers in the dark. Tonight when I walk out of the bathroom, both the bedside lamps are on, filling the room with light, and, rather than lying under the blankets, Edward sits cross-legged in the middle of the bed...completely naked.
My mouth actually falls open. Does this mean he's ready to take the next step?
"Are...are you...do you…?" I manage to stutter as I step closer to the bed.
Edward doesn't answer. Instead, he rises to his knees, reaches for me, and grabs the waist of my underwear, pulling me close.
"What are y-?" Edward cuts off my question when he presses his mouth to mine, consuming my lips with his.
His hands slide up from my waist underneath my tank top, forcing it up my body.
He pulls his lips from mine to free me of my shirt.
"I want to see," he murmurs against my skin as he moves his mouth to my shoulder.
"What...what do you want to see?" I ask, barely able to form the question with the feel of his bare skin on mine.
"Everything," he tells me, pushing my underwear over the swell of my bottom.
"Oh" is the only thought that comes to my mind.
Edward sits back down on the bed, pulling me with him until we are both seated facing each other.
"Lie down."
I comply with his request, taking his hand to lower him down with me.
"No. I want to see you. All of you," he tells me, pulling his hand from mine.
"I thought...never mind." I feel flustered and embarrassed that I misread his signals.
Edward is brushing the hair away from my face, fanning it out across the pillow.
"You thought we were going to have sex."
It's a statement, not a question. He knows my thoughts like he can read my mind. I confirm his statement with a nod.
"Not tonight. Is that okay?"
"Of course," I tell him, sitting up and reaching for his face. "I didn't mean to presume or rush if you aren't ready."
"Shhh." He presses his fingers over my lips, silencing me at once.
His hand cups my cheek, his thumb stroking it gently.
"I've felt what your body does when I touch you. I want to see what it does.
Oh...Oh! I think again as he nudges me back toward the pillows.
Once I lying completely flat Edward sits back on his heels and just looks at me. I fight the urge to cover myself with my hands, not because it bothers me for Edward to see me naked, but it's unnerving to have someone study me so intently.
Edward's first touch is so soft I barely feel his fingertips graze the edge of my breast. I look down my body to see him bring his thumb to my nipple and give it a gentle flick. I close my eyes at the small jolt of pleasure, pushing my head further into the pillow, and arching my back, my breasts eager for another touch.
His next touch is just as gentle, though I'm a bit surprised to feel a gentle tug at my nipple. I open my eyes and look to Edward's face. His expression is a mix of delight and fascination. Looking back to my body, I see his fingers gather my sensitive peak, give a little tug and let go. He repeats this again and again until my nipple is almost painfully erect.
His hand slides between the valley of my breasts seeking my other peak, my skin pebbles in anticipation of his touch. When both of my nipples have been brought to hard buds, Edward brings his gaze back to my face.
"Can I kiss them?"
I nod and watch him lower his face until his lips brush against my nipple. He kisses twice, his mouth pressing firmly against the skin before his lips part and my nipple disappears in his mouth. My eyes close again as his tongue draws circles on my skin. He moves to my other breast, applying a small amount of suction this time and eliciting a moan from me.
I open my eyes again when I feel his mouth leave my skin.
He is sitting back on his heels again, just looking at my body. I can see his gaze move up my legs, past my stomach and breasts until he's looking in my eyes again.
One of his dazzlingly beautiful smiles crosses his face before he scoots down to the end of the bed.
He lifts my knee gently, stretching out on his stomach, my leg hitched over his back and his face on level with my most sensitive area.
It's startling to have him down there like that. I've had sex before - twice, but in the dark with lots of fumbling. I never experienced something like this and honestly it feels more intimate.
He brings the back of his fingers to my already tingling lips and brushes up and down, sending shivers running through my body.
After several more brushes I feel the tip of his finger part my folds.
I'm torn by the desire to lie back against the pillow and concentrate on each sensation and the desire to watch Edward's face. My desire to watch Edward wins out and I push myself up. If he notices my shift in position his face doesn't betray it - he is wholly engrossed in his exploration.
His fingers continue their mission until he finds my clitoris and I can't help but let my head fall back as my breath leaves my mouth is a pleasured hiss when he strokes softly over it.
I open my eyes to see he's shifted his gaze to my face. His eyes are filled with awe and hunger. He watches my face as he continues to rub me, dipping down to collect moisture just like I have taught him.
When his fingers linger near my opening his gaze shifts to his hand momentarily and then back to my face and I can read the question in them before he even needs to ask.
"Please," I tell him and I'm surprised to hear how desperate I sound. He brought me to orgasm just two nights ago, but him watching me and me watching him watch me is infinitely more erotic then just sensation in the darkness, and it is driving me near madness with desire.
When he pushes a finger inside, a moan escapes my lips and excitement crosses his face.
He quickly finds a rhythm, pushing in and out, rubbing and always watching—watching his fingers please me and watching me watch him through a haze of pleasure.
My limbs begin to shake, beads of sweat are running between my breasts, and I'm having difficulty maintaining my gaze on Edward while I writhe and moan in his hands.
A mantra of "Oh, please, Edward, please" tumbles from my mouth as my orgasm edges closer and closer.
When my climax rolls through me, I shudder from head to toe, Edward looking on with an expression of blissful triumph.
When my mind begins to clear from my post-coital haze, I look at Edward, who has moved from between my legs.
He's sitting beside me, looking at me expectantly, like he's waiting for me to say something, and he's very obviously turned on.
I move to sit at his side facing him, capturing his lips with mine and sliding my hand over his hard-on.
He moans into my mouth at the contact and thrusts himself more urgently into my hand.
A few strokes and I pull my mouth from his. I want to watch him just like he watched me.
I move my hand slowly, watching in fascination as he jumps in my grip when my fingers run over the rim of his head. I never would have thought I would enjoy this as much as I am, but seeing what I do to him...watching him come undone at my touch, it's the single most erotic thing I've experienced.
I take a look up at Edward's face to see his heavy-lidded eyes watching my every move.
Moments later I watch in wonder as Edward's eyes squeeze shut and I feel him swell and release in my hand.
He leans heavily on me, kissing along my shoulder.
"You are amazing," he whispers to me.
I turn to look at him, smiling at the adoring look on his face.
"You're the amazing one."
After a quick trip to the bathroom, I climb back into bed with Edward and relish the feel of him when he curls his body around mine.
"I love you, Edward."
He hugs me tighter to him and I feel his breath touch my skin as he speaks. "I love you, my beautiful Bella."
~XXXX~
A/N: Thank you all so much!
