Disclaimer: FFVII and all respective characters belong to Square Enix
Updated: 20 November 2011
Glass Butterflies
Chapter 28
Waves crashed on the sandy shore of the beach, their soothing and rhythmic sound mixed with cheerful voices in the air. Rufus turned, the sun turning his hair into gold and copper. There was a happy smile on his face, but Rufus wasn't smiling at him. Tseng followed the laughing woman with his eyes and watched her slip her arms around his waist, leaning against him with a warm smile on her face. Rufus looked down on her, slipping one arm around her, and mirrored the expression.
The wide, colourful see-through scarf covering her bare shoulders and her long, light blue dress danced on the wind and against the light, linen clothes Rufus wore. She tilted up her chin and slowly pressed her small breasts against his chest. Gently, he brushed long, near-black strands of hair from her face and tucked them behind her ear. For a few moments, all he did was stare into her dark and yet bright eyes, before bringing down his lips to meet hers.
It wasn't in any way the kiss Tseng had seen Rufus share with Reno. Yet, despite the faint gloom that surrounded him, Rufus did seem happy most of the time. The sun and the relaxation were doing him good, not to mention the pleasant distraction the woman provided. She was quite unlike the girls visiting the high society parties back in Midgar in her personality and depth, and Rufus seemed to enjoy her presence, even when – in one of their occasional arguments – she ignited into passionate and dramatic anger.
Call him crazy, but Tseng swore that in those moments Rufus seemed to come alive.
They had only been together for a few weeks now, but the gradual improvement in Rufus' mood had not been lost on him. Initially, Tseng had scolded him in his mind for getting into a new relationship so soon and not taking the time to mourn Reno's death, but perhaps the pros weighted out the cons. Or perhaps he hadn't been lying when he'd said Reno had only been a distraction and there really wasn't anything to worry about. Perhaps his behaviour really had stemmed from exhaustion. Perhaps.
No doubt time would tell. In all honesty, Tseng hoped – albeit against better knowing – that the latter reason was true. That he could be happy with the girl – Inez – possibly even fall in love with her. He deserved it.
Not to mention Inez wouldn't give him any trouble with his father. Unlike Reno, Inez came from a wealthy and well-respected family. She was easy on the eyes, well-mannered, well-educated, and well groomed. Tseng cautiously smiled to himself, she had all the potential to live up to both Rufus' as his father's expectations. He hoped she would.
Of course, when Reno had learned of their relationship in a gossip magazine, he had been shocked and then furious, shouting all sorts of accusations and foul words directed at Rufus and flinging nearby objects through the room. Then he had gone silent for days – only speaking when sulky grunts did not suffice. Tseng still did not understand why Reeve had a subscription to that sort of trash.
A wry and nearly painful grin tugged on the corner of Tseng's lip. He wondered if the arguments between Rufus and Reno have been much like what he had witnessed between Rufus and Inez?
"Can you believe it?" Reno spat, and narrowed his eyes at the television screen. He angrily gestured at the swiftly changing images with the remote control. "I've barely been 'dead' for two weeks, and he's already getting frisky with some Costan bitch."
Reeve said nothing. He put the screwdriver to edge of the print board and carefully levered it out of the robot's chest.
"What is up with that?" he complained. "Did he really trick me into believing he loved me?"
Curious, the older man looked up. "Did he? Love you, I mean."
"Well, he didn't say it..." Slowly, Reno glanced over the back of the couch. "But he most certainly insinuated it." He snorted at himself and let his head fall back against the couch. "Who am I kidding? He didn't say it, because he didn't mean it. He couldn't say it, because it was a lie and he's not that good a liar." Lost in thought, he stared at the ceiling. Then bounced up again and glanced over the edge of the couch, frowning. "I don't believe that. There's got to be another reason."
Initially, Reeve continued tinkering with the animatronic, until he realised Reno had implicitly asked him a question and was now intently staring at him, waiting for an answer.
"Ah... well..." he started, and removed the soldering iron from the wire he held it against. "Perhaps he's trying not to feel it."
He frowned, confused. "Hmm?"
For a moment, Reeve was silent and a shadow crept through his expression. "The ache in his chest." He put the soldering iron on the table and straightened up. "If he truly loved you, regardless of the intensity, you must've left an empty space inside him. Like a wound. From the looks of it, he's trying to fill it." Then soft and slowly, as he focussed on the animatronic: "Rather than healing it."
Reno looked at him for the longest time, but said nothing. Then he tore his gaze away. "He shouldn't have to feel that way! I'm still alive, for Shiva's sake. Why should he...? Why should... I?" His voice trailed off.
Reeve didn't look up, intently staring at the robot and pressing the soldering iron against wires inside its body.
Reno pouted. "I want to see him."
"You can't." the older man matter-of-factly said.
"I know..." he sighed with a complaining tone in his voice. "I'm just saying it isn't fair."
"Life rarely is."
Reno shot a glare in Reeve's direction. What had he deserved the curt answers to? Then he glared at the television which had long since moved on to the next program. "It's horribly unfair that they get to be all lovey-dovey in public, and I'm not even allowed to love him in secret. That's all I'm saying."
Reeve's lips formed a thin line, but he said nothing. Reno saw it and sighed, turned off the television with an angry press of a button and stalked off towards the stairs with his hands buried in his pockets. "I'm going to bed."
The cool evening breeze blew in from the sea through the open balcony doors. Tseng stepped onto the small balcony and looked down onto the dark garden. Leaves rustled in the breeze. Pebbles ground underneath feet. Two pairs of feet, one set fast and loud, the other hurried and light.
"Don't beat yourself up over it." a gentle woman's voice floated up from below.
In the faint light of the moon shining through a veil of clouds, Tseng could make out two human forms walking through the garden. The woman slid her arms around the man's waist and pressed a kiss against the side of his face. He wore a dress shirt that hung open from his shoulders and his hair was a mess.
"It's just nerves." she said, "Don't worry about it."
The man jerked his head away. She pressed another kiss against his neck. He sighed, tired, frustrated, and allowed himself to relax in her embrace.
"Rufus..." Her voice was soothing. "We've got all the time in the world. I'm in no hurry. Don't be angry with yourself. You didn't learn how to walk in one day either, did you?"
"...no." he answered, a hint of protest rising in his voice.
Inez gently pressed a finger against his lips, still leaning against his chest with one arm wrapped around his neck. The fingers of her other hand stroked the back of his head. "It's just nerves. It's all very new, isn't it?"
"Hmm..." He looked away again.
"Well, then." She let go and grabbed his hands as she leaned back. "Come to bed with me and let's just sleep."
Tseng followed them with narrowed eyes until he could no longer see them. A sliding door quietly fell in its lock. With his gaze fixed on the sound's location, he frowned and repeated the conversation in his mind.
Nerves...?
He pondered on that thought, slowly leaning back against the brick wall. The white translucent curtains floated outside on the breeze and back inside again. The breeze rustled the leaves and the clouds washed across the sky.
His cellphone vibrated in his pocked. He dug it out and glanced at the display. "Reeve."
"Tseng!" The panic was evident in the man's voice.
Alarmed, Tseng straightened up, moving away from the wall. "What's wrong?"
"He..." Reeve's voice trailed off, "Tseng, there are things missing, my wallet is gone, and the window's open! I can't find him anywhere in the house!"
His mind stopped in its tracks and he grabbed the balcony's railing. "He didn't...! For Ifrit's sake, Reeve, you would keep an eye on him!"
"I did! He snuck out through the bedroom window! I couldn't know that! He just jumped!"
A dry slap sounded as Tseng's palm hit his forehead. "Gods be damned, Reno... Is this how you show gratitude?"
"I will scout the streets." Reeve said. "Perhaps I can still find him."
That would be of little use. Turks did not leave tracks, and if they did... an untrained eye would not find them. It was a shame Elena or Rude couldn't get involved, they'd have a much better chance of finding him. He nodded regardless. "Do so."
The little window creaked in its hinges when Reno pried it open. The woodwork was coated with stray shreds of cobwebs and sand that had been swept up with the rain from the cobble stones just a hand width below. The thick, heavy raindrops pulled his hair down his face in pathetic, darkened strands. He sat on his knees by the window and bent down until his face almost touched the street to stick an arm through. Cautious, he pulled a small bag through and when he couldn't reach any further down, he let it drop to the floor. It barely made a sound when it hit the surface.
Then he stuck his other arm through and pulled his head back into his neck. Slowly, he let the air escape from his lungs and started to wriggle the rest of his body through the small opening. With his fingers stretched out to break his fall with his hands, he bend down after his waist had made it inside. Slowly, he let himself slide down, careful that his heels wouldn't get stuck behind the window frame as it moved over his legs.
The floor felt cold, moist and dirty under his hands. He moved his feet over the wall until he could bend down far enough to place them beside his hands. With his eyes only, he glanced up and scanned the dim area for any signs of detection. When he decided the coast was clear, he moved his head and slowly stood up. He was surrounded by racks full of clothes and costumes, shelves with hats, shoes and other props.
The only light came through the small window from the lamppost outside and a small strip of bright light coming from underneath the door. Reno took the bag and swung it over his shoulder. After he had made certain it wasn't going to slip off easy, he placed a hand against the door and peered through the chink when he slowly pushed it open.
By the wall sat someone hunched over a desk with a broad mirror on top of it. Reno noticed the needle and thread she stuck through the colourful heap of fabric before her. He hadn't expected anyone to still be here at this hour.
Suddenly, her eyes darted up at the mirror and she stared straight at him. Almost immediately, they widened. She jumped up and screamed: "Aaaaaaiiiih!"
Frantic, she reached for broom standing next to her against the wall and wildly waved it through the air. "C-come out now and I w-won't hurt you!" Then as an afterthought: "I know martial arts!"
He pushed the door open and held up his hands. "I mean no harm, Caitlyn."
Her face scrunched into a confused frown. Then her eyebrows flew up and she blinked her eyes. "...I know you!"
"Yeah. I was here a few weeks ago." He smiled, reassuring, but kept his hands up just in case.
She dropped one end of the broom and snapped her fingers. "With your boyfriend." Swiftly, her eyes wandered off to a folded newspaper lying a little further on the desk. She stared at the page, frowning, and slowly looked back to Reno. "Who now has someone else... What happened?"
He shrugged, awkward. "I died."
Her grip on the broomstick tightened. "...you don't look much like a ghost."
"I'm not. Very much alive, still." Water dripped from his hair and clothes onto the floor where a puddle had started to form. He shivered against his will. "I... I was hoping you could help me. One more time. I didn't know who else to turn to."
Caitlyn stared at him, both worried as confused. "You could've just called?"
"My cellphone was taken from me." He shook his head. "Besides, I couldn't risk calling you. I don't want any trails leading to you. No one can know where I am."
Both her confusion as worry increased, and she looked at him with narrowed eyes, but did not speak.
Reno shifted underneath her piercing gaze and the tense silence. "Could I... get a towel perhaps? I'll will explain everything." The silence continued. "Or should I leave...?"
She startled. "No, no. I'm sorry. I'm confused." She bit her lower lip. "Am I in danger? No, I mean... are you in danger? What happened? Did...? Argh! Please tell me..."
He opened his mouth to speak, when Caitlyn suddenly started moving, pressed the broom back again the wall, and almost dove into a closet to her left. Swiftly, she dug through the fabrics, moved away without taking any, ran around a rack of clothes and disappeared behind it.
Frowning, Reno took a step towards it, but stopped himself mid-way. Caitlyn popped up again from behind the rack, held up a large towel and walked up to him to drape it around his shoulders.
"I'm sorry. It's late. I have a lot on my mind." She squeezed her eyes shut and her face twisted as if she was in pain. "My rent is due and I still have to pay for last month. And..." She sighed and rubbed her temples.
Reno put a hand on her shoulder.
She looked up at him and placed her own hand over his with a wry smile.
"Maybe I shouldn't have come." he softly said.
Caitlyn shook her head, determined. "I will always help someone in need. When I can. If you're not asking me for money I can't spare." She looked up at him with worried eyes, and only now Reno noticed the dark circles underneath. "You're not asking me for money, are you?"
"I need a plan." he said, shaking his head. "That's all I know."
A short nod. "I need tea." Abruptly, she turned about and disappeared behind the clothes rack again. "I imagine you could use something warm too?"
Reno pulled the towel closer around him, and frowned. "Yes."
The sound of tap water streaming into a container filled the air. At the same time that Caitlyn turned off the tap, the water boiler clicked into its holder and started bubbling.
The gloom down in the living room felt calm and soothing. It's presence was all around and seemed to have nestled itself into the very core of every single object present. The air was full of it, the furniture was full of it, and the plants were full of it. On the cool night breeze flowing in through the open glass doors to the garden, the white translucent curtains moved in and out of the room as if on the rhythm of a breath.
There was a second type of gloom emanating from the light couch before the open doors. This one was harsh and dominating. Tseng entered the room with the silence of a ghost and approached the other person sitting with head resting on his intertwined hands.
"Rufus." he simply said with a softness in his voice.
The man startled a little, but tried not to let it show. He looked up, too tired to glare, sighed deeply and looked away again.
"It's late." Tseng came closer.
"I couldn't sleep." he softly answered, his voice weary. "There's a gorgeous woman in my bed and she keeps me up for all the wrong reasons."
He crouched down before the couch where Rufus sat, sought his gaze, and for the first time in weeks his presence was not fought. Rufus deeply sighed and closed his eyes, his fingers now buried in his hair. "What am I supposed to do?"
Tseng frowned and studied the man who had been his charge since childhood.
"I want this to work. I really do." he said and opened his eyes.
Gently, he placed a hand on the man's arm and waited for it to be slapped away. But Rufus just looked at him. "It will." he said, reassuring, "Just give it time. Midgar wasn't build in one day, so why would it be different for your marriage?"
Rufus's whole body tensed. He sat up and sucked in a sharp breath. Then he got off the couch and walked towards the open doors, stopped, turned about, shifted on his feet, and looked back to the garden. "Why do I have to get married? Why now? I'm only twenty-one..."
"My parents were younger than you when they got married." Tseng shifted on his heels and leaned back against the couch.
Rufus fidgeted and shifted on his feet, constantly glancing back and forth between Tseng and the garden. "But..."
"Your father wants to make sure his hard work is not lost, and I believe he is starting to feel the years count up." He sought Rufus' gaze. "He believes that you getting married will ensure that his legacy lives on."
He sighed, pained, and rested his forehead against the glass pane next to the door. "What if I don't want to carry on his legacy...?"
Tseng arched an eyebrow. "You don't want the company? After you fought so hard to obtain it early a few years ago? You were always talking about inheriting it..."
"...I know." He pressed a few fingertips against the cool glass. "But..."
Tseng was silent and looked at him leaning against the window, condensation forming near where his skin and breath touched the glass. The moonlight painted him an otherworldly silhouette.
Another tormented sigh. "There are days I just want to run off, never to be seen again. Like I tried as a child. Live my own life... somewhere..." He fell silent for moment. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do, Tseng. I don't know what I want. What am I supposed to do?"
He shifted his weight, not sure how to respond.
Rufus turned and looked at him, locking into his gaze. There was some desperation in his eyes. He looked lost. "Can't you give me some advice?"
Thinking, he rose and sat down on the edge of the couch. "What do you want advice on?"
He shrugged. "I don't know. On something. Something that'll help me figure all this out."
That wasn't very specific, but Tseng decided not push the matter. He could tell Rufus felt lost in the woods and didn't know what direction to take to come out safely. "Give it time." he said, "You'll see that if you wait, things will sort themselves out, and before you know it: you'll know exactly what to do.
"As for now: why don't you just enjoy your lady's company and not worry too much about expectations. From anyone, including yourself. Maybe your problem is simply that you're expecting too much. There are countless of stories how love is supposed to be like, and none of them live up to reality. Believe me."
Rufus hesitated. "You sure?"
"Rufus, should you ever feel struck by lightning... Tell me. You'll be the first I know. Real love is more like a gentle stream of affection that grows deeper over time."
He seemed not entirely convinced, and silently stared through the glass at the garden. Tseng walked up to him and put a hand on his shoulder. "Go to bed. I'm sure things will look different in the morning."
The clock struck two as they sat around a pot of steaming vanilla flavoured rooibos tea, both with a warm cup clasped between their hands. Reno sat on top of a table with a big, thick sheet wrapped around him while his drenched clothes hung over the heater to dry. Caitlyn's eyes were drawn to the scars on his chest whenever the sheet would slip far enough for her to see. Especially the fresh, round scar on his right shoulder, just below his collar bone, was a magnet for her eyes.
He watched her stare at him with the teacup pressed against her lips. "It's rude to stare, you know."
"So is breaking an entry." she said, matter-of-fact, without taking her gaze off the scar. "It's amazing you survived a wound so close to an artery."
Gingerly, he touched the fresh scar tissue and a shadow swept over his face. "That shot did kill me, I guess." He sighed. "Even Rufus thinks I'm dead."
Caitlyn pursed her lips, thoughtful. "There's a reason you don't call him, right?"
Reno's lips formed a thin line. "If his father finds out I'm still alive, there will be hell to pay. He'll kill the very people I've grown to consider my family. And he will know if I call Rufus."
"...then what do you hope to accomplish exactly? What do you need my help for?" She frowned.
Reno sighed deeply and for the longest time only stared at the half-empty cup in his hands. "...I don't know." He met her gaze and then looked up at the ceiling as if though he could see the sky through it. "I don't know. I just had to do something before it drove me crazy. I want to see him, I want to know if he's all right. And I want to know where I go from here. If it's goodbye or that..." He sighed. "There's no way."
Caitlyn pressed a thumbnail between her fore-teeth and frowned in thought. "Well... for me to form a good plan, I need to know exactly what you want." Her eyes studied him intently. "Do you want to say goodbye then? Or do you want to say hello and disappear again?" She grinned and a mischievous twinkle appeared in her eyes. "Or do you want to run off with him and never be seen again?"
Reno laughed and looked at her, unable to wipe the grin off his face. "Running off sounds good. If that would work. He is Rufus Shinra after all. His father would search the ends of the earth for him just to make sure he'll carry on his dynasty."
The twinkle in her eyes grew. "Oooh." She chuckled. "It's like a fairy tale! The prince and the...?" She searched for a comparison.
"...street rat?" he filled in, and quirked an unimpressed eyebrow.
"You're from the slums?" She frowned, surprised. "I knew that. It explains the accent. Hah! Well, it's like a Cinderella story then! You just need a fairy godmother to put you in a pretty dress."
Reno glared at her with all his might. "Like hell I'll be wearing a dress!"
"Hee hee hee." Caitlyn hid her face behind her tea mug. "I can make you a disguise though!" She chuckled, cheerful. "I'll turn you into a prince."
Exasperated, he sighed and looked away.
Suddenly serious, she smacked the mug again the table with a 'clang' and sat up straight. "That's actually not half bad!"
Reno looked at her if she had gone mad.
She slapped her fist into her other hand, a fire burning in her eyes. "If I throw a ball and turn you into someone of wealth, you can just walk up to your lover and talk." She waved her hand to illustrate her point.
He held up his hands. "Woah, woah, woah. The lack of sleep is getting to you! How are you gonna do that? Me, of wealth? No one's gonna buy that. And these marks..." He pointed at his face with two hands. "...will also instantly identify me. Not to mention you don't have any money."
For a minute, she did not speak, nor did she look defeated. "You forget you're in the theatre." She spread out her arms, dramatically. "I work with actors. I grew up wealthy. I can teach you all the little rules, the gestures, the speech, the walk. Everything!" Smiling, she continued. "You're a Turk, right? The black-ops division with all the smart and talented people? I heard you carry out undercover missions? You can act."
Hesitantly, he held her gaze. "I don't think that's the same thing."
"Hmph." She crossed her arms, stubborn and proud. "We'll see. There's no harm in trying."
He pointed a finger at her. "Either way, you don't have the funds to throw a ball big enough to get Rufus Shinra to attend. Or anyone else for that matter."
"That's true." she simply said. "But I have connections. I can pull a few strings if it comes to it. The question is: will it aid your goal, whichever that may be? Again, what do you hope to accomplish?"
Silently, Reno looked at her and saw her in a whole new light. He had been right to come here, even if at first he hadn't been entirely certain what she could do. But this woman standing before him knew what she could do and what she wanted. There was an air of self-assured determination about her, the one that always seemed to come so natural to Rufus. Whatever it was he wanted, she could pull it off. She could actually get him to speak with Rufus without setting off any alarms.
That was, if Rufus wouldn't give him away. If he even wanted to speak with him. He sighed and buried his fingers in his hair. "Do you think he even wants to see me? Or do you think he's got his heart set on that girl now?"
Caitlyn raised a questioning and mocking eyebrow. "Rufus? He's gay. How would he lose his heart to her?"
"That's what you say." Reno countered. "He says he swings both ways."
"I bet he claims that." she answered, not too impressed. "I bet he believes it too. But that's not what I see. As a woman surrounded by many gay men: trust me, he does not swing both ways."
A moment long, they looked at each other without speaking.
Caitlyn shrugged. "Why would he not want to see you? He seemed pretty smitten with you last time he was here. Despite his whole 'no one can know we're together' attitude. I mean, if I were in love with you... I'd be dying to see you alive and well. Even against better knowing."
Hesitantly, he smiled. That's how he would feel too. Perhaps Rufus did too and he just shouldn't worry too much. Huh, he thought to himself, since when do I worry too much?
Still, perhaps it would be better for both of them of Rufus did not know he was still alive. It would be safer and he wouldn't have to burden Rufus. As long as he could just make sure he was all right, Reno could learn to live with giving him up.
"All right then." he slowly said, "Can you get me to Costa del Sol undetected, get me to talk to Rufus in private without him or anyone else finding out I'm still alive – directly or indirectly – and then get me on a train to a remote village in the Nibel mountains? I think I know a place there where I can live without being tracked down."
She nodded slowly, but added a disclaiming 'hmm'. "I can get you to Costa del Sol undetected, assuming I can get you a fake ID, and I can help you talk to Rufus in private without anyone knowing about it, but no guarantees" She hesitated. A sad expression appeared on her face. "You're giving up on him then?"
Reno slowly shrugged. "As I see it: I don't have a choice. As much I'd want to. It's probably for the best."
Caitlyn nodded again, slowly, and dropped her gaze to the floor. For a moment long, she didn't speak. When she looked up there was determination on her face. "Do you have any experience with making fake ID's?"
Surprised, he looked at her and involuntarily a grin tugged on the corner of his lips. "If you provide me the materials, I'll do the rest."
She smiled back, brilliant and excited. "Good. If you have some cash in your pocket, I'll get you that and more. Starting with some strong hair-dye."
