A/N: Characters and world property of JK Rowling. No copyright infringement intended.

Beta Love: ambiguousgoldfish, the best beta in the world


Of Blacks and Boarhounds

By Zorak23


As Lulabelle struggled to hold onto Kritter, and as the two elves continued to hurl insults at each other, Severus leaned over to Harry and murmured, "If Kritter gets away, I'll put five sickels on Kreature."

Harry grinned. "I'll put ten on Kritter. She's smaller, but she looks vicious."


Chapter Twenty Eight


July 2, 1992

"Harry. I'm not kiddin'. If ya don't tell me what ya like, I'll start lookin' for green t-shirts with snakes on 'em," Lulabelle threatened with a grin later that morning. They were in the boys' section of Marks and Spencer, which happened to be just a few blocks from Grimmauld Place. Lulabelle had wanted to go to Harrods, but Severus pointed out that M&S was within walking distance.

Harry sighed. "I'm sorry, really I am, but I just don't know. I've never, well, I've never had a choice before. It's either been Dudley's old clothes, or my Hogwarts uniform," the boy pointed out.

Lulabelle's eyes widened. "Oh sugar," she breathed. "I'm so sorry, I didn't think about that. Okay, tell me what your favorite color is…"


Severus found the two people he had been searching the department store for in the men's clothing section. He listened to their conversation for awhile before making his presence known by stating dryly, "No, I would not wear a t-shirt that says 'snakes do it in the grass'."

Lulabelle and Harry both jumped and turned to him with matching expressions of guilt. He simply looked at them with a raised brow, then said, "What do they have in regards to cats? Minerva might be in need of a wardrobe update."

He grinned and wrapped his arms around his witch, 'Yes, MY witch,' he thought with satisfaction as Harry dove back into the rack of shirts to look for one featuring felines. Lulabelle leaned into him and reached up for a kiss.

"How'd it go at the bank?" she wanted to know.

"Quite well. You now have something called a Barclaycard. I trust you know what this is?"

"I'm guessin' it's a credit card," Lulabelle laughed, "but I've never heard of that exact type before. Thanks for gettin' it for me. Did ya get the locket to the king alright? And make an appointment for Harry?"

"Yes to the locket, but King Ragnuk said to just bring the boy in when he is feeling better. He also suggested using a glamour if we bring him to Diagon Alley for any reason; I have to say that is not a bad idea."

"That's probably true…" Lulabelle started to say but was cut off by the boy in question.

"Look! I found one!" Harry cried triumphantly. "Lions do it with pride!" He held out a garish orange shirt with the silhouette of a roaring lion on the front.

"Good job, sugar," Lulabelle said with a laugh. "I'm sure Professor McGonagall will appreciate all your hard work in findin' it for her," she teased.

"Or maybe we could just put it back…" Harry said and moved to do so, slightly green at the thought.

Severus laughed out loud at his expression. "It will be sent anonymously by owl. She'll know it was from me regardless, but your participation will not be revealed, Harry, have no fear," he reassured the boy.

"Promise?" he asked nervously.

Lulabelle snickered. "Ya know where to tell her to get the snake version. Of course he promises, sugar," she laughed, and Harry grinned at her.


As they walked to a nearby pub for lunch, they ducked into an alley so Severus could shrink their many bags for Lulabelle to place in her purse.

"I really need to learn that spell, Lou," she told the man.

"Me, too," added Harry. "Hermione always has so many books…"

"No, ya need to get her a book bag and have Lou put the extension charm on it," she told the boy. "Then she could carry all her books at once."

They turned pleading eyes as one towards Severus. He rolled his in reply and said, "When we next go to Diagon Alley, we shall look for a bag for Miss Granger."

Harry beamed as Lulabelle hugged Severus. "Thank you, sir," Harry said.

"See? I told ya he was just the sweetest man ever," Lulabelle told Harry, squeezing the man tightly.

Severus looked uncomfortable at her praise and said, "Yes, well, the pub is just up this way…"


They quickly found a table and decided on what to order. As they waited for their food, Lulabelle asked, "Did ya make it to Culpepper's, too?"

"Yes, sweet witch. They're sending a team of exterminators at two o'clock, and the cleaning team at half three. They recommend explaining that the doxy infestation is too severe for house elves; this keeps the elves from being too upset by the use of a cleaning company. We can send them to my house until Culpepper's is finished. Here, they've sent a pamphlet," he said, passing her the parchment in question.

"Happy Elf, Happy Self: A Guide For When Your House Elf Needs Help," Lulabelle read aloud. Turning the page, she snorted. "They even offer a basket of doxys for five sickles if ya don't actually have an infestation," she said with a laugh, handing the pamphlet to Harry.

"House elves and doxys are natural enemies, so it is a plausible excuse," Severus pointed out.

Lulabelle grinned as the food was delivered. "Whatever floats their boat, I guess," she said. "Now the next thing we need to decide is where we're gonna stay. I mean for good; obviously we're gonna get a hotel for the night…"

"Your house will be ready for habitation by this evening, but what do you mean by 'for good'?" Severus asked.

"Really? So soon?" she asked.

Severus rolled his eyes. "Yes; don't get sidetracked."

"Right. Do ya wanna stay at your house or my house?"

"Er…"

"Your house is wonderful, don't get me wrong. But my house is a lil' bit bigger. And while I love Harry dearly, it might be nice to have him on a different floor rather than the next room…"

"Your house. Let's stay at your house."

Harry snickered even as he wrinkled his nose and said, "Ew."

Lulabelle laughed at his expression. "Besides, this way when his lil' friends come over they won't be all up in your stuff," she said to Severus.

The older man curled his lip at the thought of multiple students surrounding him during his time off, but then his expression softened when he caught the look on Harry's face.

"I… I can have friends over?" the boy asked hesitantly.

"Of course ya can, sugar," Lulabelle said, dismayed at his surprise. "It's your home. Ya can have anyone ya like over," she started to say, but Severus interrupted her.

"Maybe not anyone," Severus said, sounding stern. "We can't have him bringing home strangers off the streets," he pointed out with a grin.

"Oh you," Lulabelle replied, smacking him in the arm. "And Harry, Lou said that the British Library is just a few blocks away from the house, too. The opposite direction from Marks and Spencer, but not quite as far. Just if ya needed something to mention to Hermione when ya write to her," she said to the boy with a wink. "Ron might like seein' the zoo and the London Eye, too," she added.

"What's the London Eye?" Harry asked.

"That big Ferris wheel? It's right on the… okay, tell me how to say the name of the big river so I don't screw it up."

"The Thames?" Harry asked with a grin.

"Yeah. The Tims. It's that big Ferris wheel on the Tims."

"Er, sweet witch, that may not have been built yet," Severus said apologetically as Harry snickered at her pronunciation.

"Well damn. I was kinda lookin' forward to that myself. Oh well. We can still go to the zoo; y'all supposedly have one of the best in the world. And while we're there we can see if Harry can talk to any other kinds of reptiles, too, or if it's just snakes."

"Wh-what?" Harry stuttered.

"It might be best to discuss this at home, sweet witch," Severus said pointedly. "It is nothing to be worried or ashamed about, Harry, just not something to be discussed in public," he reassured the boy.

"Alright," Harry said softly, then asked, "Do you think we should go soon? I know you told them not to fight while we were gone, but I'm pretty sure I'll have won ten knuts by the time we get back."

She looked at Severus in shock. "You made a bet with him over my elves fighting? Lou!"


"And no treats for a week!" could be heard being shrieked from the other room as Severus counted out ten knuts into Harry's waiting palm.

"I have to admit, I never expected to see a house elf riding a Cŵn Annwn and chasing down another house elf. Not even in my wildest imagination, and I was a Death Eater for Merlin's sake," Severus commented.

"Do you think a tiny suit of armour would count as clothes?" Harry asked, and Severus raised his brow in question. "Cause I'd really like to see Kritter joust," he added.

Severus looked down at the boy for a moment, then broke into laughter when he actually pictured what Harry was talking about. "Help me sneak the beast treats this week and I'll find out for you," he snickered.

"Deal," Harry said with a grin as Sinaka slunk into the front hall with his head hung low and his tail between his legs. "Poor Sinaka," he crooned to the large dog, scratching behind his ears as he did so. "Got in trouble, didn't you? That's okay, you're still a good dog. I know you didn't mean it."

"Don't you placate him, he knows what he did was wrong," Lulabelle started to say as she walked towards them, only to stop when Harry tensed. "Oh sugar, I'm sorry. I want ya to know I would never harm Sinaka. It's just that he's too damn big to not have any manners," she told the boy.

Harry grinned shyly and said, "Language."

"Oh you," she laughed. "We might need a swear jar. Hey, sometimes I can make Lou here swear like a muggle. I've only done it twice, though. We could have a competition…"

"I think not," the man in question replied.

"…and whoever gets him to do it wins the contents of the swear jar," Lulabelle continued as if Severus hadn't spoken.

"I like that idea," Harry offered. Severus folded his arms and harrumphed at them both.

"If you are quite done, we need to send the elves away," Severus said. "It is nearly two o'clock."

"Yeah yeah," Lulabelle said with a smirk, then called out, "Kreature? Kritter? Could y'all come in here, please?"

The two elves popped into the front hall and glared at each other as they both tried to be be the first to reach their mistress. Lulabelle sat down cross-legged on the floor and held her hands out towards each of them.

"None of that, now. I'm not gonna order y'all to like each other, or even to get along, but I am gonna order y'all to never physically fight each other again. We just can't have that, can we?"

"No, Missy Alula," and "No, Little Miss," were said at the same time, although neither house elf looked pleased with this command.

"Now, I need your help. We, Lou and Harry and I, are gonna move in here. Right now all our stuff is at Lou's house in Spinner's End. Kreature, I want you to talk to Lou about what he wants ya to pack up and bring here for him, okay?"

"Yes, Missy Alula, Kreature is honored to bring the belongings of a friend of my Master Regulus to the Noble House of Black," the ancient elf croaked, and moved to speak with the man in question.

"Thank ya, Kreature. Now Kritter, I need you to gather up all of my stuff and all of Sin's stuff, and bring it back here. Also Harry's trunk should be in the spare room if ya can bring that as well."

"Kritter will bring all of Little Miss' things home. Because Kritter knows how Little Miss likes her things," she said importantly.

Lulabelle rolled her eyes at them both and squeezed Kritter's hands. "Now one more thing. I need y'all to take Sin with ya when ya go, and stay at Lou's for a lil' bit. I'll call for ya when it's safe to come home. This house has doxys; we have some people comin' to clear them out, but I just couldn't live with myself if y'all got hurt. So promise me that you'll stay away until I call. And Kritter, it's not Kreature's fault that the house has doxys. He's been all alone in this house for seven years. You've had to be invisible but ya weren't alone. And don't try to tell me that Sin couldn't see ya; you were ridin' him like a cuttin' horse, ya sneaky thing," she added.

"Kritter not a cutter," the tiny elf said with an affronted air. "Kritter a barrel racer!"

Lulabelle's jaw dropped. Her laughter rang out through the hall, much to the confusion of the three males in the room. "Well we'll just hafta find ya some barrels for the backyard, then, won't we?" she said when she finally caught her breath. "All those times at the arena, were ya there? It wasn't just Sin showin' off for the kids?"

Kritter shrugged. "Only when he run less than twenty five. He go slow when Kritter not ride," she replied.

"Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit! Where's my purse? I betcha I got that on video, Kritter!" Lulabelle exclaimed.

Severus cleared his throat. "Now might not be the best time, sweet witch. The exterminators should be here soon…"

"Right, right. Okay, now y'all head on over to Lou's house, alright? I'll call for ya when it's safe to come back. Gimme some sugar," she said and opened her arms, surprised when Kreature popped away and only Kritter went into her embrace.

Kreature returned moments later with a silver sugar bowl. "Here you go, Missy Alula," he croaked.

"Oh, Kreature, you're a peach! Thank ya so much, but I meant gimme a hug. I'm sorry, I shoulda been more clear," she said apologetically.

"Missy Alula wants to hug Kreature?" the elf asked incredulously.

"Well yeah. You're bound to the House of Black, so that makes us family. I don't know how the Blacks do it, but the Blackburns love family. We also love on family, so I'm sorry but you'll just hafta get used to it," she replied with a smile, and opened her arms to him once more.

Kreature slowly made his way to her, and into her arms. He slowly wrapped his own spindly arms around her neck and returned her embrace. Lulabelle was amused to see him blush when she kissed his cheek.

"Thank ya, Kreature. Now, of with ya both. And don't forget, we'll call ya when ya can come home. And no fighting!"

"Yes, Missy Alula, Kreature will remember."

"Yes, Little Miss. Kritter keep Kreature in line."

And with two pops of apparition, the elves and the dog were gone.