sorry it's short and has errors!

"Do you want to go out? As in, on a date?" Barbara, or, Babs, as he'd dubbed her, asked him via face time earlier that night.

"Of course I want to go, Babs..." Dick started. Of course he did, but he'd have to get off patrol tonight, and even then, he doubted Bruce would let him skip out for a date. He was still keeping Sparrow confined to bed after the last mission, although she'd insisted she was fine, and Dick repressed the urge to sigh.

"Great, pick me up at eight." Barbara said, before smiling. "And thanks, Dick." she ended the chat, not waiting for a reply.

Dick sighed. There was no way he was telling Bruce he was going to a date tonight. For one, Bruce probably wouldn't let him go, and for two, he didn't want to get 'the talk' from Bruce again. They were just going out to dinner, for gosh sakes!

He sighed. He'd faked sick before, always finding it easy, but tonight Bruce was short-handed, unless he could convince him Sparrow was better off than he was at the moment...

"Bruce, please! I'm fine! It was only a little dehydration..." Sparrow's voice drifted upstairs and Dick smiled. Sparrow even wanted to get stuck with night patrol. Dick knew the real reason why Bruce had been keeping her confined to bed, though. He was afraid of putting his little bird in harm's way. It would be good for them to go out on patrol tonight, a good bonding experience.

Dick sighed, grabbing the onion he kept under his bed for emergencies and quietly slicing it open, putting it under his armpit and laying down for fifteen minutes. Onions, for some reason, probably the antisepsis affect, caused him, as well as Sparrow, to get a fever if you held it under your arm pit for a few minutes. As he waited for his temperature to rise, he listened.

"Don't you have homework to do? I told you to stay in bed." Bruce said, sounding genuinely concerned.

"I did my homework, Dad, and I've been sleeping two days on and off. I appreciate the rest, but I'm ready for some ACTION!" Dick heard a stomping noise and smiled, knowing his sister has punctuated the last work with a black flip.

"Scarlet Grayson. I said no, now get back up in bed." Bruce said, voice firm.

There was silence, followed by the sound of hands grasping something...

"Scarlet Grayson, get off that chandelier now." Bruce said, and Dick struggled not to chuckle. The chandelier was a place where he and Sparrow often brooded, hanging upside-down like the bats they truly were...

"No. Not until you let me come on patrol." Sparrow said, and Dick could tell by her voice she was pouting. She had good reason to, as well. Bruce was being crazy over dehydration had been moderate, as well as the wounds on her wrist and sun burn, and he'd already treated the emotional wounds at the cave...

"Scarlet, don't make me come get you." Bruce threatened.

"Yeah, right." Sparrow said, rolling her eyes from where she hung.

Dick heard a chair scrape the floor as Bruce no doubt went to stand on it, then Sparrow's distinct laughter.

"Dad... stop it! That tickles!" she gasped out, and Dick grinned, knowing she was probably fighting off a tickle attack. Bruce himself chuckled as the little acrobat's legs lost heir hold and she fell into his waiting arms.

"Can I go on patrol Daddy, please?" she asked.

"We'll see." Bruce grunted, and Dick could tell by his tone he was smiling.

Dick hated to ruin the moment, but he felt hot already and knew his temperature was hot enough to pull this off.

He hid the onion back in a plastic bag before standing, Yes, he was flushed and sweating. Perfect for what he was about to pull off...

He stood and started downstairs, being sure to do a few silent jumping jacks so he was even sweatier before he came into view.

"Hey Dad, Sparrow." he said, nodding to them both and trying to mop the sweat from his forehead with his sleeve. He puncuated his greeting by coughing soightly into his hand, being sure to act like he as trying to muffle it.

"Dick, come here for a minute. You don't look so good." Bruce said, voice taking on a fatherly tone.

"What? Dad, I'm fine." Dick made a point of swallowing like it was hard to do so, and Bruce's brow furrowed more.

"Do as I say, Dick." Bruce ordered. Dick acted reluctant but obeyed, stumbling on the last step but quickly catching himself. Bruce laid a hand on his son's forehead and frowned.

"You're sweating. Have you been to the gym at all today, Dick?"

"N-no... I didn't feel like it..." Dick admitted, which wasn't a lie. He had felt much more like face-timing Barbara than going to the gym...

Bruce frowned. "How long have you been feeling like this?" he asked.

Dick knew he meant feeling sick, but he just shrugged, so as not to lie.

Bruce frowned again. Dick always answered his questions. "Dick. How long have you been feeling like this?"

"Forever, it feels like." he said, because he had always felt like face timing Babs rather than working out.

"Go upstairs and lie down. I'll be up to se you in a few minutes." Bruce said, and Dick sighed, heading back upstairs.

As soon as he was on his bed, he smiled. Phase one finished.

He listened carefully to what Bruce said as his eyes were closed. "It doesn't look like Dick will be going on patrol tonight, it looks like I'll need Sparrow to make an appearance."

"Thanks, Dad." Sparrow said, and Dick could imagine his sister hugging Bruce now.

"No problem. Grab a nap, though. These have been a rough few days for you, I want you to be alert tonight."

"You'll wake me up when it's time?" Sparrow asked.

"Don't I always?" Bruce said, and Sparrow knew he was right.

"I won't disappoint you, Dad!" she said, clambering upstairs. Bruce chuckled slightly before heading to Dick's room.

He gently palmed open the door. "Dick?" he asked.

Dick opened his eyes and blinked slowly a few times. "Yeah, Dad?"

"I don't want you on patrol tonight."
"What!?" he made a point of sitting up abruptly and nearly falling out of bed.

"Dad! I'm fine. It's just a little fever, is all..."

"Dick, it's flu season. Now stick this in your mouth." Bruce handed him a thermometer. Dick eyed it hatefully.

"Do I have to do it?" Bruce asked, and Dick rolled his eyes, putting it under his tongue. So far Bruce was buying the act perfectly...

The thermometer beeped and Bruce took it before Dick could read what it said.

"101.4. Congratulations. You're officially sick." Bruce said, trying to cheer up a sulky Dick. He sighed when Dick's expression refused to budge. "I'm sorry, Dick, but your health comes first. Now, I'll have Alfred bring you up some soup and I want you to rest, alright? Take two of these." Bruce handed him some tablets of tylenol.

"I'll call to check up on you, alright?"

Dick popped the pills into his mouth and nodded. "Alright. Feel better, Chum."
Bruce rarely called him chum anymore and Dick smiled despite himself, hiding the pills beneath his tongue and swallowing.

"Thanks, Bruce." he closed his eyes and waited until Bruce's footsteps faded away before heading to the bathroom, spitting the pills in the toliet before sitting back on his bed. Phase two, done. Now all he needed to do was sneak out later. His phone beeped, and he saw t was Sparrow's text.

Y R U faking sick?
-SG

Who says im faking?
-DG

Me.
-SG

Oh. U always do know. I have a date w/ babs. Cover 4 me if im out late?
-DG

OK. U owe me, bro.
-SG

Dick smiled with relief as he laid back against the pillow. The fever the onion had given him wasn't high or dangerous, and would slowly abate, Besides, he still felt fine, just a little hot. He couldn't wait to go out tonight.