Saarebas - "The Dangerous Thing"

Chapter 28:

We walked away from the town and towards the point where she'd told us the Qunari were. I was startled when Duncan spoke to me.

"How are you holding up?"

"... I've been better. You?"

"About the same, not great. Want to talk about it."

We continued to walk through the sun-dappled forest.

"I suppose we should. Where do you want to start?"

He scratched the back of his head, "Guess it's only fair if I give you the opportunity to ask questions about me first."

I motioned it away. "Not important. You always told me you had your past. Go ahead, you can ask me what you want."

"Was... was it telling the truth. Is there someone else in there with you Rebas? He hinted as much back in the alley and when we met him in the fields."

Do we trust him with this information?

Yes.

"It's true. I didn't really know for sure until he shown me."

"He entered your mind too?"

I nodded, not willing to say more.

"Which one am I speaking to now?"

"That's harder to explain. We've always been here, but I'd hoped he was more of an extremely vocal conscious. We both have a say in what happens. He calls himself Lucas and the spirit calls himself Whistler. But just think of us as one person if it helps. We're Rebas."

Nicely put. And you're right. When we work together, we're Rebas.

Thanks, Lucas.

"This explains so much about your abilities and why I've never seen anything like them before. They're from the Fade."

"Quite possibly. Honestly, I really don't know. I can't remember being a spirit. Maybe he was lying, but I don't think he was..."

Duncan let the conversation lapse for a time. When he picked it back up, he'd switched subjects. "So, you're looking for the Qun?"

"I'm not sure, I think that's what I want. I haven't really decided yet."

"But you're a Saarebas."

"Yes, and worse."

He wanted to say something more, so I made an encouraging gesture for him to continue. "Well... the best case scenario would be for them to chain you up for life."

"Maybe that's what we want, Lucas and I."

"But if they knew you were an ab-um... duel-souled shall we say, they'd kill you, right?"

"After what I know, would that really be a bad thing? We're not sure it is."

"Rebas, don't say that!"

"I'm just looking at all sides here. You don't have to come, Duncan. You could leave. Take the gold and start a life away from people. You could forget about what you saw."

A shutter ran down him. "I'm not sure I'll ever be able to do that."

We walked on.

"So, I guess you heard when the demon said I hadn't passed my harrowing, huh?"

"He mentioned it, yeah."

"Well, it's true. I'm no Circle Mage that ran away. I was an apprentice."

"You don't have to tell me about this, you know that right?"

"I know, but since you shared with me it's only fair that I do likewise. Me and a girl, Elaine, had an agreement. When the Templars came to take one of us for their Harrowing the other would sneak in and watch. If we needed saving, the other would help. They took her one night. I followed and managed to sneak in. They place was old and it wasn't hard to manage. They surrounded her, emptied a vial of liquid lyrium, and sent her through the veil, then waited."

We continued on. I thought he didn't mean to continue, until he did. "Now I can't un-see it, those six men flanking her, one with his sword already out. I stood back and held my breath, to scared to do anything more. Then she kind of cried out and fell. The men all gathered close and waited. I saw the man draw the sword over his head and hold it there. I could have saved her maybe if I'd acted them, but I didn't. She burst out all over and I watched in horror as the man took her head off in one clean swoop. I'm not quite sure what happened after that, but I think I may have pulled some demons through the gate that was still partially open. They fought the specters and I ran. Truth is, I'm a coward."

"You're not."

"It's kind of you to say, but I am. I'm always hoping to atone for that, but only end up in the arms of a woman, any woman, to take that memory away for a time."

There was nothing more to say, so we continued our walk. Eventually we began to hear distant voices. I grabbed his arm and turned to him. "It's not too late, you know; to atone. You don't need to do this with me."

"No, I'm too old, I'm too-"

"Martyrdom doesn't suit you, Duncan. You're a man with a man's tastes."

"But I can't just forget."

"You don't need to forget, nor should you, but you also don't need to sacrifice yourself in this way. When I go in there, there's most likely no coming back. They'll turn you into a mindless slave."

"And what about you?"

"They can't. I've taken the antidote to qamek, the poison. All they can choose to do is chain or kill me."

"But I don't want either one to happen to you, Rebas. Yer' a good man, if a little too serious. You deserve better."

"No," I shook my head. "Lucas deserved better. I'm an abomination."

If you're an abomination, then so am I. Still, I'll stand by your call. The world out there isn't what I'd always thought it would be, and I called out to you. We'll face this together.

I took the pouch of gold out of my bag and handed it to him. "Go, start over, let yourself be happy."

He took it, then gave me a tight hug. "Thank you Rebas. I won't forget you."

"I know, friend. Now go."

He did, looking back over his shoulder several times before he was out of sight.

We'll probably never see him again.

It's for the best.

You're right. You ready for this?

Almost.

I took out my bag and rummaged through it, pulling out the heavily mended and stained robes of the Tamassran.

Really?!

Why not? I'd once held this role in the Qun, it's only fitting that I return to them the way I left.

I can't believe we never got rid of those damn things.

I remembered fondly the way that Duncan mocked my keeping them, saying that's why I'd never been with a woman, because I was wanting to be one; but according to Qun laws, I had been one.

I miss Duncan already.

Me too, Lucas.

I stripped off my old clothes, leaving them draped over a stump, and got back into my old Tamassran outfit. It didn't fit right, but the robes never had in the first place. I did my best anyway.

We're really doing this?

Stop me if you want. I'll gladly cede control to you. This was your body to begin with, you have the final say.

... Let's do it.

We walked towards the voices and sounds of the camp. Soon, shapes of people became distinguishable between the trees. I continued my pace. A nearby voice called out. "Hello there. This is a Qunari encampment. If you come seeking enlightenment and a cure to the sickness, come join us. If not, continue on. We mean you no harm and hope you'll show us the same consideration."

It was the kind of talk that I'd heard years back. It was nice to hear it again, now that over five years had elapsed.

I missed it too, Whistler. We're home again.

Yes, we are.

I continued to walk towards the man. His face lit up with a smile, but it twisted in confusion when he got a better look at me. "Are you a Tamassran?"

When I spoke, I felt the old powers of my role in the Qun come back. "Who is in charge here? I would like to speak to them privately."

The small dwarf stopped to think. "Guess that'd be Poker. I'm Taarbas. You can call me Pint."

He held out his and. I shook it, and for the first time in years, I spoke my old name. "Nice to meet you, Pint. I'm Tamassran Whistler."