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Bones is definitely not mine. Or so I'm told.
Whistling merrily to himself, Booth stopped in front of his partner's door. Making something of a production of it, he raised his fist and gave the material two smart knocks.
"Hello?"
Her voice called from within, sounding slightly apprehensive.
"Bones? You ok?"
He couldn't be sure, but he thought he heard a groan from inside.
"Booth? Um…I'm fine. Everything's fine. How are you?"
Looking down at the floor in disbelief, Booth leaned slightly against the doorframe as he responded.
"I'm fine too, Bones. Are you going to let me in or do we have to conduct the entire conversation through a closed door?"
There was a prolonged silence. Booth pressed his ear against the door, trying to figure out what was happening inside. He got nothing.
"Bones?"
With a definite sigh of frustration, he heard his partner begin to move towards him. Something about her steps sounded strange.
The door opened and Brennan stood there looking at him, a 'this better be good' expression dominating her features.
Convinced now that something was up, and determined he was going to find out what it was, Booth cocked his head and gave her his absolute best charm smile. The one he knew she couldn't help responding to.
"Well…aren't you going to invite me in?"
Looking slightly pained, Brennan shuffled sideways and opened the door wider.
Nodding in acknowledgement, Booth crossed the threshold and began to move across the room.
He heard the door click shut behind him…but no footsteps following.
He did rather a fancy turn on the heel of his shoe. Brennan was still standing in front of the door.
"Everything ok, Bones?"
She shifted her weight onto one hip and glanced around her, almost as though trying to show that this, exactly this spot, was exactly where she wanted to be.
She nodded at him, smiling tightly.
"Sure. Everything is definitely ok."
"So, he made a sweeping gesture towards the living room, are you going to come join me?"
She appeared to give the proposal some consideration before pursing her lips slightly and slowly shaking her head.
Booth let out a short bark of incredulous laughter.
"You're just going to stay there then?"
Addressing her feet, Brennan said in a very small voice, "That's right. I'm just going to stay here. You can go inside if you want."
Booth gave his head a quick shake. When he looked up again his partner was still in the same spot. She caught him looking at her and shifted her features into a pained smile.
Muttering slightly to himself, he advanced toward her.
"Ok, Bones, what's up?"
Her face took on a 'deer-in-the-headlights' expression and she took a shuffly half a step back.
"Nothing, Booth. Nothing's…ah…up. I'm fine."
His eyes and posture took on a rather predatory appearance, making her breath quicken slightly for more than one reason.
"Really, Bones? Because you're not acting fine."
He began slowly circling her, speaking his words breathily into her ears. In spite of everything, she found her eyes closing, almost of their own accord, and relished the delicious tingling sensations radiating out from where his soft breath tickled her skin.
He stopped at her right side and leaned in closer than at any other time previously. This time he spoke his words somewhere beyond her ear, into the handful of her hair he had gathered up into his deft embrace.
"Am I going to have to start examining you to see what's wrong?"
Her eyes flew open and she took a hasty step away from him. Booth didn't realise what she was doing until it was too late. She moved forward but that section of hair remained stationary in Booth's grip.
The force of the pull to her head sent her jolting backwards. She connected solidly with his chest, knocking the wind out of him. She spun around furiously at him. The two stood for a moment, frantically rubbing their injured areas and giving the other one the evil eye.
A growl of frustration rumbling through her, Brennan began to march into the living room.
Booth opened his mouth to comment, but was overcome by silent, all-consuming laughter as he watched his partner's progress across the floor. He gave her a minute to settle herself, and for him to calm down, before he followed her.
She was seated on her couch, looking rather pleased with herself. She evidently thought she'd put on some kind of impressive performance that would have completely fooled him.
He leaned against the wall, not trusting himself to move towards her yet. He drummed his fingers absently then suddenly looked at her with a clear of his throat, as though something had just occurred to him.
"Say, Bones…how come you're walking like a peg-legged penguin?"
Her stricken face broke down the barriers he had placed against the violent expression of his humour. He laughed long and hard, gasping for breath. Brennan seemed to shrink in on herself. She crossed her arms defensively against her chest, her cheeks quickly colouring.
With a haughty turn of her head, and a tone to match, she responded, "Penguins don't have pegs for legs, Booth. I think you should know that." She shot him a pitying glance.
Sighing gently, Booth regained control of his emotions and moved over to sit down beside her.
"You learn something new every day." He muttered quietly to himself, but loudly enough that she could hear.
She eyed him warily, not sure about what he would do next.
He reached a hand over and placed it firmly and assuredly on her knee. Heat spread like wildfire from the spot. He moved his thumb slightly. She shook her head gently. How did he always know what to do, even when she herself felt utterly lost? Encouraged, she raised her gaze to meet his.
"I…well, it's really quite embarrassing…it's just…"
He nodded at her, willing her to continue. His unwavering gaze and the slight increase of pressure on her knee gave her the strength she needed.
"Well, you see, I went to get a…a wax…eh…you know…THERE, but the stuff they used reacted really badly with my skin and…"
At the word "wax" Booth had jumped slightly. As her brief explanation continued, he brought the hand that wasn't resting on her knee up to his mouth, attempting to use it to shield the smile that was forming.
Unfortunately, Brennan realised what he was doing. With a "kah" of disgust, she pushed his warm hand off her knee and gave his thigh a quick punch. Then another for good measure.
He raised his hands defensively, but his enormous smile didn't really help his case.
"Booth! That was really difficult for me to say. It's very embarrassing and…and you don't know just how much women have to go through. You have it easy. You just shower, put a truckload of gel into your hair and occasionally shave your face. You don't have to wax or pluck or exfoliate or poke yourself in the eye with the mascara. Not to mention stomach cramps."
Booth looked suitably abashed and even slightly horrified at her list of tortures, especially the last one. He decided it was safer not to take offence at the 'truckload of gel' snipe.
"You're right, Bones. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have laughed."
She nodded quickly at him, then stared off into the distance. Booth examined his hands, occasionally stealing quick glances at her profile. The comfortable lengthy silence had seeped into every corner of the room when Booth finally lost the battle against the words that had been fighting to escape since she had told him what was wrong.
"Just so you know, the offer for that examination still stands."
