Chapter 28- "Misery"
Hello Dreamers! :)
The new chapter starts with Edward's perspective, cause I want you to see what happened after his argument with Bella and the accident from his perspective. After that, we go back to "now" and from Bella's perspective in the hospital. So, enjoy (as much as you can) and beware. Once again, a heartbreaking chapter. *grabs tissues* And lastly, thanks so much for all your kind words on the last chapter! You made me smile guys! :)
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Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or anything else that is Twilight or Stephenie Meyer related. Only the story idea belongs to me.
XXX
"I can't hear your voice
but you know I feel your soul.
Where have you gone
My love, my friend
Somewhere without any pain
I'm not afraid now, I'm not alone
We will meet again."
"We will meet again"-Vast
XXX
~Edward's point of view~
I heard glass breaking. The thought that something had happened to Bella made me ran out of the bedroom as fast as I could.
"Babe, I heard a noise. Is everything ok?" I asked as I walked to her and saw shattered pieces of glass on the floor and wine spilled everywhere and giving me the notion that they were drops of blood stains on the carpet.
Once I saw her standing there, like a frozen statue, I followed her stare and realized what it had been that caught her attention and made her react like that.
I approached her more and stood next to her. I couldn't believe the things that bitch on that lame TV show was saying. And these fucking photos. How dare they claim that I was cheating on Bella?
I kept watching and cursing from inside me whoever it was that did this to us. And then I heard that name. That hideous name which seemed to be haunting us for months now. I thought we had got rid of him, but Mike Newton was still there to torment us. I swore to make his life a living hell.
"This is bullshit!" I yelled frustrated and felt on the verge of breaking things around me. Or that bitch's head against the desk that she was leaning on.
I scanned Bella's face searching for any reactions, any signs of hate, pain, despise. Anything. But she was emotionless and her face hard to decipher. Bella should stop watching this thing. I slowly took the remote control from her hand, as she was still holding it and turned off the TV. However, she didn't move an inch. She remained frozen. I started getting really worried. She could yell at me, hit me, call me names. But this? This reaction was not what I expected at all.
"Bella, my love, you have to listen to me."
And then she moved. In fact, she threw my hand away when I tried to reach for her. I felt a light pain in my heart and an ominous feeling that things were not good at all. Dark clouds started gathering above us and I felt a storm coming towards us.
"Don't touch me." She said and I felt another stab through my chest.
She had to listen to me. She had to know the truth. These photos were just an illusion. A trap that Tanya and Mike had made for me. And like the fool I was, I fell in it so fucking easily.
"Please, Bella. You have to listen to me! Please!" I begged her again.
She didn't reply and that gave me some courage to continue.
"What you saw is all a lie. I swear to you, it is not what it seems."
She snorted sarcastically. "Typical."
I passed my hands over my face. She couldn't even look at me. Is that how disgusted she was? "Can you at least look at me?"
She slowly and unwillingly decided to indulge me and turned her face to me.
"They are lying, Bella." I tried to speak out clearly and as truthfully as I could. Because I was saying the truth. I was never with Tanya or any other woman since Bella got in my life. I love Bella. Only her. I don't need anyone else.
"You weren't with her yesterday?"
Her question caught my off guard. If I replied "yes" that would be as if I practically acknowledged and proved her right. If I replied "no", then she would call me a liar.
"What?"
"Were or were you not with Tanya last night, Edward?" She asked again and I realized that I had to answer her. And I would tell her the truth. I wouldn't lie to her again. I should have told her that Tanya stopped me last night and talked to me, as if nothing had changed between us. I was on my way back home, I had decided to buy some flowers for Bella and all of a sudden, as I was walking back to my car, Tanya appeared out of nowhere. I was sure now that she must have been following me.
That bitch! I thought from inside me.
My blood froze in my veins when I realized what I was about to say. "I was."
Bella just moved her head. I could see the word "cheater" written in her eyes. I could see the wild thoughts that were formed in her beautiful mind.
I had to stop that. "But that proves nothing! Let me explain to you. I was just walking down the street and…"
"Is that why you were late yesterday? You came back home at 7 p.m. You usually return at 5."
I exhaled loudly. She made the wrong assumptions. She misunderstood everything. And it was my fault. I should have talked to her about Tanya. I should have explained earlier. She should have heard it from me. Not from a silly TV show. I should have never listened to Alice's advise, who told me to keep it a secret and not tell Bella, because she would get angry and think that I cheated on her. And what was the outcome anyway? One and the same.
"And still I got to know this from that woman on that ridiculous show and not from you." She accused me.
"Because I knew you would react like this!" Lame excuses, Edward.
Definitely not a wise thing to say. I saw Bella's expression changing drastically. She became furious and uncontrollable. I could feel her ready to burst from anger.
"Like this? Tell me, Edward. If I was in these photos with Jacob and you saw them, would your reaction be like this too?"
I wanted to slap myself. Because I knew that she was right. Again. Her questions were right on point and it was hard for me to prove my claims right. Of course, I would get really angry if that happened to me. I would think that Jacob was trying to win her back and I would probably break his bones, just to give him a lesson and a warning to stay away from my woman.
I kept looking at her in the eyes with the only thought in my head to grab her and kiss her and then hold her tightly in my arms and show her in this way that I was hers. I never stopped being hers. That would never change. Not now not ever.
"I thought so." She finally said reading behind my silence.
I had reached a dead end. I didn't know what to do for her to believe me.
I moved up and down the living room. "Fuck!" I yelled and kicked the table from my nerves making a frame with our photo fall off and break into many little pieces. I wanted to care about it, but I couldn't give a fuck about it right now.
"Ok." I said and tried to stay calm as I stopped in front of Bella and held her shoulders staring into her eyes. "You want the truth? I'll tell you the truth." I breathed deeply trying to find the right words to tell her the truth and not make her even more angry. I checked her and saw that she was staring back at me waiting for me to start talking. And so I did. "Last night, I was late, because we had more work than usual to do at the studio. That's all. After that, I drove back home. Somewhere there, I decided to stop by and buy some flowers for you. Remember?" I showed her the flowers that I had brought her the other night on my way back home. I remember how she had loved them, smelled their marvelous scent and put them in that vase immediately, because she wanted them to "live forever like our love would" as she had told me.
"What, you wanted to make up to me for cheating on me with her?"
Her words were a slap on my face. I never thought that she would be so harsh, so stubborn, so jealous. She was driving me crazy! "Can you stop that!" I yelled at her and I understood that I had crossed the line. I wasn't making it easier for myself. Therefore, I decided to look somewhere else, calm myself down and after a few deep breaths I lifted my head up and looked at her again. "Tanya happened to be there. And once she saw me walking back to my car, she came and talked to me."
"Talked? Is that how you usually talk to your ex-s?" She slapped back.
I decided that the best way for her to understand me was to tell her exactly what had happened and then make her understand my deep feelings for her. And I hoped that this would convince her of the truthfulness of my words. "Bella, she doesn't mean anything to me! She never did! I've told you before, I was using her. I am really ashamed about it, but that is who I was before I met you. I used to use women. I took what I wanted and left. The thing is that Tanya wanted something more than just that. She thought I loved her and couldn't understand how and why I left her. And to be quite honest, she was using me too. She never loved me. But I've moved on. I am with you. And I am happy with you! I don't care about any other woman on this planet. I don't want any other woman from this or any other planet. You need to trust me!"
I saw her lost in her thoughts for a while thinking about something. Her lips were pressed in a thin line, wrinkles appeared on her flawless face. She was torn. I could see it.
I was ready to break the silence and ask her if she was ok or to say something, anything! But she got me first. "Why were you laughing?" She asked in an extremely low voice.
"I knew there were paparazzis around. They had been following me. That is why she approached me on the first place. She wanted to accomplish this. To spread doubt between us and most of all, to make the tabloids talk about her again. I mean, can't you see it? It was the tabloid "Spicy" that published these photos! Mike's tabloid, Bella!"
I mean, it was so freaking obvious! It was Mike Newton behind all these! How could she not see it?
Bella remained silent and I saw recognition shining in her eyes. Hadn't she paid much attention to the name till now?
"I swear this bastard will be in great trouble." I threatened through gritted teeth.
"What did she tell you?"
A small hope appeared inside me. Perhaps she was starting to believe me after all. "At first, she was normal and casual. A "hi" and "how are you?". That's all. But then, she must have realized the presence of paparazzis hidden in their cars and the flashes of their cameras and she approached me and tried to seem as if she was flirting me. She was telling me stuff like how much she missed me and how we should give a second chance to ourselves."
"Stop." Bella shouted and put her hands over her ears refusing to hear anymore from the things I had to say. "I don't wanna hear this!" I saw teardrops shining on the corner of her eyes and I cursed myself from inside me from being the cause of these tears.
But she had to let me finish. She had to hear the whole story! "My love, listen to me!" I tried to take her hands off her ears, but she refused to obey.
"No, no!" She shouted and sealed her eyes, so that she wouldn't look at me either.
"Bella, I told her to fuck off!" I spoke loudly so that I would catch her attention between her sobs. God, how I wanted to wash away those tears and take her in my arms and comfort her. Because she was my other half. When she was in pain, I felt pain too. When she cried, I wanted to kill the person who made her cry.
And this time this person was…me.
"I told her to leave me alone and never talk to me again. That photo of me "whispering in her ear" like that bitch in that show said, is me telling her to get out of my way and never bother me again. And I was smiling, because I knew we were being watched. I didn't want to make a scene for everyone to see." I explained once I saw her looking back at me.
She remained silent. Dangerously silent. At moments like these I wished I could read her mind and hear her thoughts. She had this blank stare in her eyes, which scared me to death. Her other times beautiful brown and green eyes were now two huge black holes ready to swallow me in their abyss.
"Why didn't you tell me yesterday then? How much worse would I have reacted than I did now?"
There we were again. At the same point where we started. I don't know which infuriated me more. The fact that she still didn't trust me or that I knew she was actually right and I had the urge to kick myself for not having told her earlier about it. I passed my hands through my hair and exhaled loudly. "Because… I don't know. Because I am a fool. Ok?"
I saw Bella closing her eyes and a few more tears touched her soft cheeks as they rolled down and finally fell on her white dress. It should be me touching her cheeks and not these teardrops.
After a while, she opened her eyes again and spoke with a calm voice. "I need some time to think." And then, she took her keys, her mobile phone and headed to the door.
She wanted to leave? No! She couldn't leave! I couldn't let her do so. I ran after her and grabbed her arm. "Bella, where are you going?"
She gave me a death look. Then her eyes fell on my hand, which was holding her, staring at it in a judgmental way. I knew she didn't like me acting like that, but there was no way I would let her go like that.
"I will return back home later. I promise. I just want to be alone for a while. Don't follow me." She talked as if that was the simplest thing to say. But it wasn't. We never ran away from each other. We always talked things through. We could do it this time too.
And for a second there, I thought she would stay. I thought that my pleading look changed her mind.
But she didn't.
My hand fell lifeless on my side as Bella turned around giving me the coldest look she had ever given me and closed the door behind her.
I passed my hands through my hair and started breathing heavily. I wanted to run after her, but I knew that this wouldn't change anything. She would ignore me again.
My eyes fell on the vase with the white roses I had bought for her last night. I lost my temper. I threw it down and saw it breaking into pieces, as I left a loud cry which echoed in the whole living room.
Roger perhaps heard all this argument between me and Bella, or he just heard my recent outburst, and he started barking and howling. I went outside and checked on him. The moment he saw me, he ran to me and sat in front of my feet with a sad look on his face.
I lifted him up and held him in my arms. "Hey, boy. You are sad too?"
He licked my face. I smiled bitterly. "Yeah.. Me too…"
I took him inside and sat on the couch with him cuddling on my lap. I had never seen him so silent and sad before.
"I know why I'm sad. But what's wrong with you?"
What a fool I was waiting for an answer from a little dog. I huffed and stroked his white as snow fur.
I sat back on the couch, my head leaning back on the cushions and my eyes staring at the ceiling. Something caught my attention though. Something was hidden behind the couch's cushions.
I took them out of the way and saw it. "Oh God…" It was Bella's book. The very first copy I guessed. I opened the first page. Underneath the title she had written a note.
"To the love of my life
who inspires me every single day
and makes me go further.
Thank you!
I love you.
Always and forever yours.
Bella."
I put my hand over my mouth. I remembered how my mother used to tell me all the time that "boys don't cry", but man, was I ready to cry rivers now. My throat was aching. My eyes burnt.
"Fuuuuck!" I yelled and threw the book against the wall with all my force.
I couldn't believe how a perfect night had become a total nightmare. And all this because of me. ME!
Roger jumped away from my lap and started barking and running around me.
"Stop!" I told him as I was searching for my mobile phone.
I had to find her. I had to make it up to her. I would beg her, fall on my knees if I needed too. I didn't care at all.
I dialed Bella's number. I waited and waited, but she didn't reply.
"Why? WHY?" I pressed the call button again. I had seen her taking her phone with her. I also knew that she had asked me for some time for herself. But I wasn't gonna allow any distance or spaces get between us whatsoever.
I threw the phone on the couch frustrated. I left out a loud sigh and sat back on the couch with a noise. The cushions gave in to my weight and I closed my eyes lost in my own thoughts.
Maybe I should give her some time. She told me she would return home anyway, didn't she?
Roger came in my arms again and rested on my laps. I started stroking him again without opening my eyes.
"Just a few more minutes. Let's give Mum some time, shall we, Rog?"
He made that cute puppy sound as a reply, which sounded more like a cry to me. But what did I know about dogs anyway.
Time passed. The room started getting cold. If this argument had never happened, I might have been getting warm by Bella's body right now in our cozy bed. Instead I was sitting alone in our living room with our lovely dog, both missing her like crazy.
I checked my mobile phone. No missed calls. No messages.
"Let's try again." I whispered and called Bella. No answer again. "Where are you babe?" I pressed my lips and called her again. It didn't take long for that woman with the deep voice to come out and inform me that the number I was calling was not available.
I started feeling cold sweat running down my spine. What if something was wrong? What if something had happened to Bella?
And then, I decided that I should call others too and ask them if she had contacted them in any way. And the first person that I thought of -and who was living quite near to us- was Alice Brandon and my manager, Jasper Hale. She might have spoken to them or even better gone to them. That would make me feel a lot more relaxed.
I dialed Alice's number.
"Hey, Edward! Didn't expect you to call me so late." Her voice sounded happy and casual, but at the same time somehow worried too.
"Hi, Alice."
"Is everything alright?"
"Uh…Actually no. It's not. You see…I've had this awful fight with Bella and…."
"Wait." She interrupted me. "A fight? Why?" She seemed like she couldn't believe her ears.
I explained everything that had happened and since she was the one who had advised me to not tell Bella about this, she started apologizing and asking me to forgive her. But to be quite honest, it was not entirely her fault. It was mostly mine. I should have known better my own fiancée. I should have spoken to her on the first place.
"I am sorry, I shouldn't have got you in all this." I told her moving my head resigned, as if she could see me through the phone.
"I-I don't know what to say." She exhaled and there was silence for a while. "Look. Let me call her. She may reply my calls. It's the least I can do to make it up for all this mess."
I huffed. "All this mess is not your fault, Alice." Obviously not. "It is Mike Newton's and my ex's, Tanya's, fault. And they will pay for it."
"Yeah…"
And then I remembered. "Is Jasper there?"
"Yes, he is right here."
"Can you please give him to me? I need to ask him a favor."
"Sure." She replied.
"In the meantime, Alice, please try to reach Bella and explain things to her. I'll owe you." I really would. I would do anything to get Bella back at our home. Back in my arms again.
"I definitely will."
After a few seconds, Jasper came on the phone.
"Hey man, I need you to do something."
"What is it, Edward?"
"Do you remember Mike Newton?"
"That guy who was threatening you guys with stories about you?" Oh yeah, he did remember him well.
"Yes, him." I almost spilled out the words like they were the most despicable words that ever existed. As despicable as this low-life asshole. "He is back, Jasper. Did you see the news about me and Tanya and all this shit they've been telling about us?"
"Yeah, I did. Where did that come from?" He sounded puzzled himself.
"That came from Mike and Tanya."
"Tanya? Mike? How…? Oh!" He figured it out in the end. He had found the connection between them all. "They set you a trap."
I moved my head. "Yes, they did. Tanya wanted to get more famous and promote herself and Mike wanted to get richer." I said and felt my blood boiling in my veins. "That is why I want you to use this evidence about Mike Newton that you had found almost a year ago. Remember?"
"Oh yes, about him and his father and how they tricked the system and paid judges to win their cases?"
"Exactly! These two are the reason me and Bella had a huge fight. So, I want this evidence out in every single paper and magazine that exists. I want every show on TV to show this assholes face. I want him to go down." I spoke with vengeance and so much hate and repulsion, that I never thought I would ever feel for any person in the whole world. But I despised him down to my core. I wanted him to pay. Putting him in jail was a good start.
Jasper talked after a while. "Ok. I will do it. Tomorrow morning, everyone will know who he really is."
"Good." I replied satisfied. "And one last thing, Jas. Make also known to the press that Tanya Jones tried to manipulate me and falsely show everyone that there was something between us. That will for sure have an impact on her career and her future relationships as well. Let people see the bitch she is." More anger boiled inside me threatening to burn me inside out.
"Ok, Edward. I am on it." Jasper said simply.
I hang up and clinched my fists with my mobile in one of them. I felt it ready to break between my fingers. I hated the fact that my hands were tied and I was sitting here doing nothing.
But I had to act. I had to find Bella.
"That's it." I said through my teeth. "I'm going to find her." I walked to the front door, taking my car keys and the house keys as I opened the door. I wouldn't wait for Alice or anyone else to find her. I, her fiancé, had to do that.
I was ready to close the door, when Roger ran out of the house barking.
"Roger! Get in the house now!" I shouted behind him and I followed him in the rain. But he had already reached my car and was jumping around it and barking like crazy.
"I said get in the house!" I commanded him again, but he growled to me and grabbed my trousers dragging me to the driver's door.
I moved my head giving up. "I can't deal with you too now." I set off the alarm and opened the door. Roger jumped in the car and sat on the passenger's seat. I yelled at him when he dried his fur on the seat, but he barked as a response. He seemed as tensed as I was. As if he could sense what was going on.
Ten minutes later, I was on the main road searching for Bella's car. No sign of her anywhere.
I took the first right turn and almost lost control of my car on the slippery from the rain road.
"Shit!" I shouted and did a maneuver. "That was close, right Rog?" He turned to me and barked twice.
A few more minutes passed. I ignored a STOP sign, then a red light and I was sure that I should stop driving like a maniac, but that feeling that Bella might have had an accident and that was why she hadn't called me back, made me tremble and my heart ache.
"She is fine, Edward. You are acting silly. She is fine!" I tried to remind myself whenever my thoughts took a wild turn and insane scenarios were formed in my head.
Five more anxious and never ending minutes passed. My phone rang. I took it in my hands and once I saw the name, I answered it immediately.
"My love, where are you? Are you ok?"
"Eddie…"
A sigh of relief escaped my lips. Not only because I heard her voice again, but also because the way she spelled out my name proved to me that she wasn't angry with me anymore.
"Where are you?" She sounded worried.
I now laughed with the whole idea and the reason that got me out in the streets. How dumb was I? "You know, funny thing. I am out searching for you. I thought something bad happened to you and…"
"Edward, please, pleaaase go back home, ok?" She pleaded me and her voice was the sweetest spellbound that touched my heart.
And to be honest, that was the only thing I wanted to do. Go back home to where I belonged.
"Yes, I am returning home right now. I'll see you there love." I felt so much lighter now. Like a huge burden had been lifted off my chest. It was all over now. We would be together again and this night would be nothing but a bad reminiscence.
"Eddie, my angel… I am so sorry. I didn't mean to worry you. I overacted. I shouldn't have…" Her voice almost broke. I couldn't bare hearing her like that.
I interrupted her. "Bella, we'll talk about it at home, alright?" I tried to sound as calm as I could, because I was. And to be quite honest, talking was the last thing I wanted to do right now. In my thought I imagined me waiting for Bella in our living room and once the door would open and I would see her, I would run and take her in my arms. And I would never ever let her go again.
"Yes, yes of course. See you soon." She replied.
"Really soon." I corrected her, because I would make sure to reach home as fast as I could. I smiled thinking of her beautiful face.
"I love you, Eddie." I heard her saying and my heart skipped a bit at the sound of it. It did every time she told me that she loved me. I closed my eyes briefly taking in her sweet like honey words.
"I love you too my Bella." But no answer was heard. "Bella?" I repeated when instead of her voice, I heard that noise which informed me that she wasn't on the phone anymore.
I looked my mobile's screen.
"Damn phones!" I said and threw it on the back seats. I took a sudden turn on the left ignoring the yelling from the other drivers and the horns. And as it seems that move of mine infuriated Roger, because he started barking like crazy and jumping up and down on his seat.
"Roger stop! Stay! Stay!" I tried to command him according to the lessons I remembered me and Bella did to him. But it didn't seem to work at all. Roger kept barking and growling and suddenly, he lifted his front legs up and almost jumped on the dashboard.
"Roger get off!" I yelled and used my right hand to push him away. But then I saw from the corner of my eye an old lady crossing the street.
"SHIT!" I shouted and held tight on the steering wheel turning it right to avoid hitting her. But the car refused to obey. I heard the sound of the tires screaming on the wet road and then…
And then I saw flashes black and white, some red spots in my vision and what seemed like memories of my Bella, all passing in front of me. She was kissing me with passion, hugging me, talking to me. Somewhere between Roger's barks and the blinding light from the street lamp which was coming towards me, I heard Bella telling me that she loved me.
"Bella…" was the only word that could get out of my lips as I was gazing at her face being formed on the raindrops on my car's windscreen and I reached out to touch her through the cold glass.
And then she smiled to me…
XXX
~Bella's point of view
Can your life go from being the perfect dream to the worst nightmare? Can your world collapse in just a few minutes?
As it seems, it can.
And the results can be devastating. The sorrow, the sadness, the tears leave behind nothing more than the debris of what was once a wonderful, dreamy life.
And you are just standing there, in the middle of this chaos, wishing for a miracle to happen. Even though you feel your hopes are getting less and less with every beating second, with every ticking of the clock, which so shamelessly counts the time backwards and warns you that there is an end coming.
And sometimes it is coming faster than you think. Faster than you were ever afraid of.
Tick Tack. Tick Tack.
The sound of the clock ticking became louder and louder in my head. First, it was coming from a distance, but then the sound came closer and closer with every passing second.
Tick Tack.
My eyes flickered. Like young birds which try to spread their wings.
Tick Tack.
My eyelashes felt heavy, but I managed to move them and open my eyes for a while.
"Where am I?" I wondered as I looked the white sheets I was lying on. I was still in the hospital. My eyes fell on the clock on the wall right over the blue door in the other side of the room. So, that was it. That was the clock which was counting shamelessly my Edward's minutes.
"Eddie…" I spelled out his name and felt tears appearing in the corner of my eyes.
"Bella?"
I turned on my right. "Alice?"
She smiled to me and hugged me. "How are you feeling?"
I gave her a stern look. "As if someone has ripped out my heart from my chest."
She stroked my hair.
"What happened to me?"
"You fainted."
It all came back now. Flashes from the last memories I had before everything became black and darkness sucked me in.
Before I could talk again, Alice had pressed a small button over the headboard of the bed I was lying on.
"What did you just do?" I asked her.
"I called for a nurse to see you. You passed out, sweetie. Thankfully, me and Jasper caught you before you touched the ground. The doctor got worried though and did some blood tests to you and then put you to rest."
I tried to take in all the information Alice had just given me. I moved my head. "How long have I been sleeping?"
"For thirteen hours Mrs. Swan." The doctor replied as he walked in the room and had obviously heard my question. "How are you feeling? Any headaches? Stomachaches?"
"I feel like throwing up. Does that count?" I said a bit ironically. The love of my life was struggling to stay alive. I didn't care how I was. What mattered to me was only him and his health.
"Actually yes. It is quite…relevant." He replied and he threw a mysterious look at Alice, who half-smiled and nodded. She knew something I didn't.
"How is Edward?" I asked thinking that there probably was some good news from him and that is why they were so secretive and smiling.
"He is in critical condition, but stable Mrs. Swan, but…"
"I want to see him." I put my elbows against the mattress and tried to get up. But both the doctor and Alice grabbed me and put me back on the bed.
"You should better stay here and relax." The doctor advised me.
"I don't want to relax! I want to see Edward!" I yelled impatiently and threw their hands away.
"Mrs. Swan please, stay calm! You must remain calm!" The doctor advised me sternly and a bit too bossy.
I opened my mouth ready to protest, but Alice interrupted me. "Bella, dear, listen to Doctor Gilbert. It's for your own good."
My eyes moved from Alice to the doctor and back again in a few seconds.
"Will anyone tell me what is going on here?" I was running out of patience.
Doctor Gilbert took a deep breath, remained serious and then talked. "Mrs. Swan, we did some blood tests to you, while you were unconscious, to see if there was anything wrong."
I checked on my hand. I could see the place where the needle had passed my skin and took out a sample of my blood. There was a small bruise now. I put my hand over it. "Yes, Alice told me about it. And?"
"And we found out that…" He paused for a while trying to find the words I guessed. "You are pregnant, Mrs Swan. You are in the sixth week of your pregnancy. Congratulations."
My blood froze in my veins. My breath hitched. I felt Alice closing my hand in hers and stroking it gently. My thoughts were lost in nowhere. Images of that mysterious dream of me and Edward, that I had seen a few days ago, were passing through my head so fast, that it caused me dizziness and made me feel nauseous. Me and Edward in older times, dancing gracefully, then us kissing in secret in the woods and how Edward touched my belly and told me that he would protect me and our baby and begged me to run away with him.
Oh how I wish I could run away with him from everyone and everything…
"Wh-What?"
"That explains why you fainted and the fact that you feel dizzy and want to vomit."
"Oh my God!" I said and put my hand over my mouth. I brought my legs close to my chest and became a human ball. I started crying hard.
"Eddie… Our baby… Oh my God…" I sobbed, as I was moving back and forth.
"Sweetie, please…" Alice sat next to me and hugged me bringing me closer into her arms.
"Mrs. Swan, I know you feel bad about Mr. Cullen and it's normal." The doctor came and sat on the edge of the bed. "But right now, trust me, you need to stay as calm as possible. For the life that you carry inside you. You fainting is a sign that your body reacted to the extreme angst and psychological pain that you are going through."
I huffed. "And what exactly do you suggest I do? We are talking about the love of my life here! The father of my child! How am I supposed to stay calm and relaxed?" I talked and felt my voice breaking when I spelled the word "father". Alice stroked my back. I was still hidden in her arms.
"You must protect your child no matter what. This must be your main concern at the moment. Let us worry about your fiancé. Cause I can ensure you, we are and will do whatever humanly possible to keep him alive and help him wake up from his comma."
The doctor's words put me into thoughts. I instinctively put my hands over my belly and cried again. Cried because dark thoughts came to my mind. What if Edward didn't make it? What if our child never got to meet his or her father?
What if…?
What if…?
After a few minutes, I lifted my head up and used the back of my hands to wipe away some lonely last tears.
"Ok." I finally said. "I will try."
The doctor was right. This human being which was growing inside me was a part of me and a part of my precious Edward. By hurting me, I was hurting our child too. Thus, Edward as well. I don't know if he could hear or feel anything now that he was in comma, but I was pretty sure that there was a secret strong bond between us, which connected our souls magically. And I was convinced that somehow he could feel me. And therefore, I should stay positive and strong for him. And now for our little baby too.
"Alright. Now, I would like you to eat something."
"Eat? Are you kidding me? I am not hungry at all." I replied instantly.
"Mrs. Swan, you just told me you would try."
I sighed and looked down on my clothes. I wasn't wearing the white short dress that I was wearing last night. I just realized that with all this chaos going on, I didn't even notice that I was wearing this somehow transparent dress, when I came to the hospital last night. Thankfully, I had put on a coat to protect me from the cold, so not many would have seen it. I still wondered though, how I ended up with a pair of black jeans and a white pullover.
"I will bring some food for her." Alice announced and stood up from the bed willingly.
"Thanks Mrs. Brandon. Take care of her, please. We will keep you informed about Mr. Cullen." Doctor Gilbert said and walked out of the room.
I grabbed Alice's hand. "Alice, wait."
She stopped and turned to me. "Bella, no. You are not going to change my mind. You need to eat and I won't…"
"No, no. It's not that." I dismissed her claim moving my hands in the air. "I want to ask you something else."
Her eyebrows became a straight line. "What is it, sweetie?"
She stared at me again.
"What happened to my…other clothes?" I asked and bit my lips.
Alice's mouth was lifted at its side a little. "I guessed you wouldn't mind me borrowing your house's keys and dressing you up with something less…revealing."
Oh.
I moved my head blushing a bit. Not that any blood was running in my veins anymore. I felt empty and cold inside. "You guessed right."
"That's what I thought." She smiled to me and turned to leave the room in order to bring me food to eat.
"Alice." She stopped at the door and turned to face me. "Thank you. For everything."
She smiled as much as she could -cause I could see she was really sad and emotional too, but she was trying to stay strong for me- and left.
I laid back on the bed again and looked at the clock on the wall. It showed exactly twelve o'clock in the afternoon.
I left a sigh and tried to put my thoughts into a logical order. Edward crashing. In critical condition. I was pregnant. Six weeks.
I started counting. This means that I conceived in Paris, where we had gone to spend our Christmas holidays along with our friends and family. Which would be quite possible, since I had stopped taking my pills and Edward didn't use protection.
I passed my hands over my face exhaling heavily. What was I going to do now?
Suddenly, the door opened.
"Hey."
"Jasper?" I was surprised he came in the room.
"I wanted to see how you were and Alice told me to…"
"To check on me while she is away." I pressed my lips and moved my head realizing the real reason of his presence in here. "So, are you gonna be my bodyguard or just my guard now?"
Jasper's expression changed. There was something else in his eyes now, a sentiment I couldn't decipher.
"Bella, I am here as your friend. I care about you whether you believe it or not." He came and sat next to me. "You know, Edward loved you. A lot. And I am sure he would want me to protect both of you at this difficult moment. Until he wakes up that is and takes his place again."
I felt something getting stuck on my throat. The inside of me burnt from the words I had just heard from Jasper. It meant so much for me hearing all these from him.
But the sound of Edward's name and how he would want me and our baby to stay safe made me lose it. I breathed in trying to suppress the new waves of tears which threatened to emerge from the corner of my eyes.
"Oh no, don't start this. I am not feeling comfortable with women crying." Jasper said in a failed attempt to lighten the atmosphere.
Yeah. Like that was even possible.
"I'm sorry, Jas. It's just too hard. I can't stop it… I…" Teardrops started running down my cheeks. "I'm scared Jasper. I'm afraid of losing Edward. I swear if anything happens to him… If he doesn't make it… I will die too. I won't be able to move on. I won't survive." I sobbed and moved my head from side to side passing my hands through my hair.
"Sshh! Don't talk like that." He stroked my hair. "Of course he will make it. Edward is a fighter. He would never give up. Especially now." He motioned to my belly. "He loves you too much to let go."
I pressed my lips and looked up at the ceiling trying to stop my tears.
"You have to be strong for him, Bella. For your baby. For all of us actually." I turned and looked at him.
"You are a good guy, Jasper." I held his hand. "You should show this sensitive part of yours more often you know."
He snorted. "It's not that easy in my job."
"I know. But your job has nothing to do with what we are going through right now, has it?"
He thought my words for a while and then nodded unwillingly pressing his lips. He knew I was right.
"And Bella, please take it easy on Alice. She has a really hard time right now."
I looked at him puzzled. "How you mean?"
"She blames herself for all this. She keeps saying that if she hadn't advised Edward to not tell you anything about Tanya, he wouldn't be here now." He explained and I felt a weight being gathered on my chest. I felt really bad for her now. Because for a while, I had accused her and spoken badly to her on the phone when she told me what she had done. But it wasn't her fault.
I nodded. "I will. Don't worry. I know she just wanted to help. She didn't know."
"She tries really hard to make up for it. You have no idea."
"I can imagine." I sighed. "Tell her that I don't blame her though."
Jasper smiled relieved. "I will." Then, he hesitated and after a while, talked again. "You know, there is something more."
I furrowed my eyebrow. "What is it?"
"Remember Mike Newton?"
I pressed my lips and frowned breathing angrily. "That asshole? Don't even remind me his name. He is the main reason Edward is in there!" I accused him and pointed to where I thought was the intensive care.
"Well, consider yourselves done with him once and for all." Jasper announced with a proud look in his eyes.
"Done? As in…"
"As in totally over."
I couldn't believe in my ears. We were finally free of him? "What do you mean?" I approached him on the bed. "Tell me, please."
"Remember a long time ago, when he threatened you with some photos and clues he had about Edward's ex fiancée, Kate, and his friend's, James's, gang, which the Newton guy thought Edward belonged too?"
I nodded infuriated. Of course I did. He made my days a living hell. Mine and Edward's too. "He threatened to publish them and ruin Edward's career."
"And what did I do?"
I tried to think back and dig deep in my subconscious. I had deleted these memories of Mike Newton, but now I had to bring them back in the surface from the dark places where they were lying. Just temporarily though.
I finally figured it out. "Oh yes. Of course!" I smiled bitterly. "You found out information about him and his father. His father, Jack Newton, who is a lawyer, was involved in economical scandals. He had paid judges in order for his clients, some big financial companies, to win the trials. And Mike Newton was the one to hide all these cases away and make sure that no one would ever shed any light on them and make them known."
Jasper nodded. "Exactly."
I opened my eyes widely and a smile started being formed on my lips, after many hours of tears and sorrow. "Tell me that you sent the information to the press."
Jasper shrugged. "It was Edward's request."
"Edward's?"
Jasper remained silent for a while thinking of something. He grimaced and he pressed his lips. "I don't know how to tell you this…"
"Tell me what?" I got really worried with his mysterious words.
He sighed. "Edward called me a while after the fight you had yesterday…" His voice fainted when he saw my reaction. "Oh no, please. Don't."
"I'm ok. I'm ok. Look." I talked too fast and rushed into proving him wrong. The fact was that I wasn't alright, at all. But I couldn't break down now. "What did he tell you?"
Jasper stared at me for a while torn between talking to me and making more sadness and tears appear or not talking and leave me in the darkness.
"You can tell me, Jasper."
He took a deep breath. "He told me about your fight. He sounded very furious and devastated."
I tried really hard to stay calm and not start sobbing from the images of Edward that passed in front of my eyes.
"He asked me to publish all the information I had for Newton. He told me that he wanted to take him down. To destroy him."
I closed my eyes breathing with great difficulty.
He went on. "And that's what I did. This morning, I went at my place, took all the information and photos I had gathered and sent them to the newspaper of a good friend of mine. It will make the headlines by tomorrow. And Mike Newton with his father will have to go to court and face the judges."
I thought of Mike's and his father's future. Jail for sure. For many years. And I can't say I felt bad about it.
"I also accused him and Tanya for making up the whole "dating" story, which caused all this trouble and angst between you and Edward."
I turned and looked Jasper in the eyes. "You did what?"
"I said the truth, Bella. I sent them proofs that Tanya and Mike had set Edward a trap and Newton was ready to publish the photos and the fake news that they had constructed."
"So, basically, Tanya will be in trouble too." I assumed.
"Not the trouble that the Newtons will face. But still, I don't think that many will want to work with her now. Her true colours have been exposed." Jasper said and I could hear satisfaction in his voice.
I moved my head. "They both deserved what they get. They did this to my Edward." I spoke totally aware of the bitterness of my words.
Jasper nodded agreeing.
"Here I am." Alice announced as she walked in the room holding a tray with a plate full of food.
"Alice…"
"Hush, Bella! You heard the doctor. You are eating for two now. You must eat. End of story." She didn't leave me any chance to protest.
"Here, you are." She placed the tray on my lap.
"I'll wait outside." Jasper said.
I took his hand in mine. "Thank you for everything. It means a lot to me. And Edward would appreciate it a lot."
He smiled a bit and leaned in to kiss my forehead. "It's the least I can do." And he left the room.
I forced myself into eating. Bite after bite. It felt as if I was chewing haystack. Or mud. It was chicken and rise, but it didn't have any taste in my mouth whatsoever.
But then I remembered and stopped suddenly. "Oh my God! I need to call Edward's parents! And…And Emmett! He is his brother. He needs to know!"
"Bella, relax sweetie. I've already done it." Alice consoled me. "I called Rosalie, she told Emmett and he informed his parents. They are all flying to here from New York."
I felt cold all of a sudden. Edward's mother, Esmee, hated me. I was pretty sure that now, she would hate me even more.
I got serious again and looked down trying to grab some rice with my fork.
"Stop messing up your food and eat." Alice advised me a bit sternly and I lifted my free hand up, as if I was surrendering.
"I think you would be happy to know that I also called Angela. Since we are friends too and we talk a lot, I thought it would help you if your best friend was here at this hard time."
I was speechless and totally satisfied with the unexpected news. "You didn't. Angela is coming too?"
Alice nodded. "She told me she will take a few days off and fly here as well to stand by your side."
I fell on Alice and hugged her tightly. "You are the best!" I told her and squeezed her in my arms.
"Hey, easy. You will throw down all the food." She warned me with the sweetest voice she could find.
I sat back straight again and began my struggle to eat once more. I didn't know why Alice had bothered into calling all these people for me. Maybe she was just kind and helpful? Or maybe she felt guilty, as Jasper had told me and she wanted to make up for interfering with the problem that Edward was having with Tanya. Whatever the case, I could feel that she had really regretted doing so and if she could, she would definitely turn back time and advise Edward to talk to me instead of keeping all this a secret from me and hide the truth. But I had forgiven her. Cause I knew she meant no harm. And I also knew that this was what Edward would do too.
XXX
Many more torturing hours flew away like wild birds in the dark sky. It was night now. A whole day since Edward's accident had passed. Whenever I asked the doctors, the answer was the same. His condition was critical, but stable. Not a consolation for my restless heart. I wanted some good news. Any good news. Anything to help me hold on to and not lose my hope.
The invisible clock was ticking in my head again.
Tick tock tick tock.
I wanted to break every single clock that existed in the whole world. I wanted to stop time. Or turn back time to the moment I decided to turn off the television and saw that TV show and the photos of Edward and Tanya. I wanted to rewrite history and do it all right this time.
I was sitting there on the uncomfortable hospital chairs for hours. Sometimes I tried to close my eyes and doze off, but it didn't work. I was numb. I couldn't feel my body. In fact, I couldn't feel anything at all. And that scared me. A lot. I waited for a miracle. But even the hope of it seemed so far away at this point, so lost somewhere in the back of my head, that it was nothing but a fainting light in the endless tunnels of my mind.
At about ten thirty that night, the Doctor passed in front of us and I stopped him.
"Doctor Gilbert." I put my hand over his arm. "Since we are waiting and we have no news for now, can I please see Edward?" My voice was shaking from the pleading.
He hesitated. "I am sorry, I am afraid I can't allow that Mrs. Swan."
I snuffed. "What? Why?! And don't use that silly excuse on me about relatives and that only they can see patients."
"Well, actually…"
I saw he was about to prove me right, so I interrupted him by lifting my hand up. "Doctor Gilbert, his parents and brother are on their way here. I am his fiancée, we were going to set a date for our wedding and I am carrying his child inside me. So, this is as much of a relative as it can get." I talked nervously and sarcastically. "And I know that he needs me. He must know that I am here by his side all this time."
He moved his head still unconvinced. "Mrs. Swan, he is in comma. He can't hear you."
"Yes, he can!" I replied sternly and totally sure about my words. "He can at least feel my presence. And I desperately want to see him."
His eyes narrowed and I sighed. I decided to go for a last attempt to convince him. "Please. I am begging you, Doctor Gilbert. Please…" I was pleading, but my voice practically gave out that I had already given up. I knew he wouldn't do me the favour.
I lowered my head.
I heard him exhaling. "I am so gonna regret this." He mumbled almost to himself.
I instantly lifted my head up and faced him. "What?" A new hope shone inside me.
He pressed his lips and moved his head. "Only five minutes. And only you. And of course, it will stay between us. Cause it is too soon for visitors."
I wanted to hug him. That is how happy I was. But I thought it would be inappropriate, so I just thanked him warmly and honestly and moved to Edward's room. I opened the door hesitantly and my eyes fell on the bed with the white sheets.
The light sound of an unhappy surprise escaped my lips and I put my hand over my mouth.
Oh God…
Edward was lying on the bed, totally covered with the sheets. Only his hands were resting on each side of him. He seemed like he was in a deep sleep. But the worst were all the marks on his skin and the drips that "hugged" his arms and seemed like snakes which held him tight on the bed and I imagined them trying to suffocate him by entering him from his wrists and nose. I had to remind myself that these things were actually what kept him alive at this point. They fed him and provided the vital medicine, which was necessary for him.
I heard the sound of the electrocardiogram and electroencephalogram, which were both connected to Edward. More wires around him. I checked the lines on the screens. They were going up and down counting his heartbeats. Counting his life. They appeared and disappeared with a steady, almost hypnotic way.
I walked slowly to where he was lying. His eyelashes were shut and I wondered what was going on underneath them. What was he thinking, if he was thinking at all that is.
I shook my head and tried to think positive. He was thinking. He was listening to everything that happened around him. He was just in a deep sleep. And he would soon wake up and tell me to relax, because everything was gonna be alright and he was there for me and our child. Therefore, I wouldn't have to worry about anything ever again.
I caressed the white bandages that were all around his head. I didn't even want to think of the pain he must have gone through. But.. was he able to feel any pain? Or did he lose consciousness and then, all the rest were a fading distant dream for him?
I sat on a chair that was placed next to his bed. I brought it closer to him and took his hand in mine.
"Hey, Eddie." I managed to talk, but I realized that my voice was barely audible and about to break into a million pieces. I barely held on.
"You know, everyone is coming here for you." I said trying to fool myself that he was actually listening to me. "Your parents and Emmett with Rosalie are on their way. And Jasper and Alice have been here all along. They didn't leave your side for a single second."
I ceased talking trying to breathe in and regain my self control again. I didn't want to break down now. Not in front of Edward.
Remember that you have to be strong, Bella. For Edward. I tried to remind myself.
I brought his hand to my lips and kissed it.
"I've missed you, you know." I sighed. "I miss you terribly."
I stroked a cut that he had on his cheek, I guessed that is was caused by the broken glass of the windscreen of his car. It would be healed though. As would he. He had to. He had a few stitches on his forehead too. The sight of all these marks proved to me that his accident had happened for real. Because I found out that I had hoped for all this to be a lie, a very very bad dream. It was the silliest thing for me to believe.
And then I thought that I should tell him. He should know about our baby. Perhaps, that would give him strength and motivation to fight harder and return to me from wherever he was at that moment.
I inhaled deeply and closed my eyes firmly. "Edward, my sweet angel…" I brought his hand to my face and felt the back of his hand against my cheek. It was colder than mine. And much paler than mine too. "You must know something. I learned about it this morning too." I gathered all the psychological power I could find inside me. "I am pregnant, my love. I have our child inside me." And I gave in to my sorrow. Silent tears appeared and streamed down my cheeks falling on Edward's hand one after the other. Like drops of rain on a desert, which hadn't seen of a rainy weather for far too long.
"I need you, Edward. I need you, because I love you so much!" My voice was trembling. An invisible wind of fate was threatening to blow out the sound of my voice and Edward's remaining flames on the candle of his life. But, he had to hold on to something. He had to stay alive. He had to fight.
"Please, don't leave me. Don't leave us. Please…. Please…" I started sobbing and I leaned my head over his covered with the white sheets body.
"I am begging you, don't leave me, my angel. Please, stay with me. I can't make it without you!" I kept crying feeling my soul pouring out so many feels and emotions that my heart ached and I feared I would choke from my own tears.
"You promised!" I said and hit my fist softly on his motionless body. "You promised you would never leave me!" I lifted my head up and stared at him intensely. "So, that was your never? Huh? It expired only few hours after your promise?" I spoke with my voice full of accusation and what seemed like retirement.
I held his hand tighter. I wanted to yell as loudly as my lugs would allow me to. I wanted my voice to reach Edward, wherever he was, and drag him back to me.
"I am sorry, my love. Forgive me for being so jealous, for starting that fight with you, for leaving our house in the first place. I should have known you wouldn't stay back and wait for me. Of course, you would search for me. Because that is what we do. We always search for and keep each other close."
I approached him and leaned in to leave a soft-as-air kiss on his lips.
"You are my whole life. My reason for waking up every day. Please, stay with me…" I stroked his cheek gently and scanned every little scar, every little bruise that he had from the accident.
"Mrs. Swan, I am afraid I can't let you stay in for much longer." The doctor was standing at the door. I hadn't even realized when he had got in. I was too lost in my own personal nightmare to pay attention to anything that happened around me.
"What? That's it? The five minutes have already passed? Are you kidding me?" I asked refusing to move an inch.
"I am sorry, but these are the rules."
I wanted to tell him to fuck the rules and let me stay with my man for as long as it was needed. Instead I turned to Edward and gazed his precious face one more time. I kissed his forehead and whispered an "I love you. Hold on my love." and followed the doctor leaving the room taking long glances of Edward lying peacefully on the bed of his personal torture.
"We will keep you informed for anything new. Now all we can do is wait and hope for the best." He advised me and I just nodded. The doctor touched my shoulder sympathy dripping from the corner of his eyes. I didn't need anyone's sympathy though. What I needed was in that room, fighting to stay alive.
"Please, help him. Do your best." I pleaded him with all the power of my heart, my soul.
He pressed his lips and nodded. "You can be sure about that. We have the best doctors and crew here. He is in safe hands."
My lips became a firm straight line of what was supposed to be a fainted broken smile.
I was ready to turn around and head back to Alice and Jasper who were waiting for me to tell them the news about Edward, when I heard a voice and footsteps approaching me from behind.
"There you are! What did you do to my son?"
Esmee Cullen.
I froze in my spot. I clenched my fists and sealed my eyes trying to decide what to do. Turn around and face her or ignore her and be polite and nice? In my current state, neither of these two options seemed plausible.
In just a few more seconds and a few more claps of her high heels on the hospital's floor, Esmee reached me. I felt a hand on my shoulder and she turned me around with great force, so that I was looking at her.
I feared for the worst. Her face depicted anger and hate. So much hate towards me. I got tensed and waited for her outburst. I saw Carlisle trying to keep up with her and reach me before she would, in order to prevent her from doing anything that she had in mind to do. But she was faster.
She was yelling now. "Tell me, why is my son in there? You filthy petty…"
I wanted to confront her. And I would under other circumstances. But I had no power at all. I didn't have the psychological strength nor the courage to reply and argue with her.
"Ms. Cullen!" Alice got in front of me and grabbed her from the waist a few minutes before she would practically attack me. Jasper came to help her too. That didn't seem to affect Esmee though. She kept calling me names and struggling to reach me.
"Esmee stop acting like that!" Carlisle said and grabbed her shoulders.
"It's her fault that my boy is fighting for his life! Her fault!"
I felt my knees weak. It was this moment that I dreaded the most. And as it seems, for a good reason. Her reaction was a thousand times worse than what I had expected. I knew she would blame me, but this…
Before I could realize it, I started crying. Silent tears rolled on my cheeks and I hid my face in my hands to prevent them from falling.
"Oh yes, of course. She is crying now. Let's all feel pity for her! She is crying!" Esmee kept shouting and I was sure that people would hear her any minute now and they would gather around us. Not what I needed at this point. My mental state wasn't good at all. I didn't need more reasons to go insane. There was a totally thin line between sanity and insanity and I was on the verge of crossing it if things would keep on going like this.
"Ms. Cullen, please stop! You are not helping her at all!" Alice yelled back at her and caught her attention.
"Oh, really? My son is in comma and in a life threatening state. Please, forgive me if I am overreacting." Renee talked with a bitter and sarcastic voice.
Alice sighed. "For God's sake, Ms. Cullen. Bella is pregnant! To Edward's child. You are not helping her at all right now. Nor the baby."
Renee ceased struggling and froze at her spot. Her eyes opened wide. "A what?"
Alice's voice was soft again. "A baby. Your grandchild." She repeated and smiled.
"Is…Is this true?" Renee addressed me with a much sweeter tone this time.
I nodded and put my arms around my body trying to contain my tears.
"Oh God…" Renee broke slowly free from the hands which were holding her and approached me. "May I?" She asked me and showed my belly.
I tried to smile and moved my head as a "yes". And then she put her hand over my belly.
"My son's child…" She whispered and I saw tears shining at the corner of her eyes. "A part of him lives inside you right now, Bella."
I remained silent, unable to find any words to say. Esmee broke the silence. "Come, sit down. You shouldn't stay there." And she guided me to one of the seats right outside the ER, where Edward was.
I am sure it was the news about her grandchild, but from that moment on, a totally new, different and much sweeter Esmee was revealed to me as time passed. This moment, right here, in the middle of the hospital in which Edward was giving the biggest battle of his life, would be a huge turning point to my relationship with Esmee.
"Ms. Cullen, I am really sorry, I…" Why was I apologizing anyway? It wasn't entirely my fault. I had been really jealous, but wouldn't anyone be in my place? If they saw all these photos of the love of their life talking with their ex?
"Ssshh! It's ok." Esmee interrupted me and slowly brought my head over her shoulder. "I should apologize to you for yelling like that. It's just that I am really worried about my son."
"And it's normal and understandable, Ms. Cullen."
I saw her smiling and stroking my cheek. "Esmee. Call me Esmee. We are gonna be a family soon."
"Bella, congratulations my dear girl." Carlisle said and kissed the top of my head, as he came to stand next to me. "We will help you with everything you need with the baby."
"Yes, yes, of course." Esmee rushed in. "Our little baby will always have a grandma to look after him. Or her."
"Hey!" Carlisle reprimanded her. "And a grandpa too! I'm here as well you know."
Esmee moved her hand. "Yeah, yeah, ok. And a grandpa too."
I smiled a bit with this. For a friction of a moment, I saw my life as it could be in the future. A big family, my children running around in the house and the garden, people who had nothing but love for them playing with them, hugging and kissing them. And then Edward would come next to me and smile to me utterly happy and satisfied with our lives and he would tell me that he loved me and would take me in his arms.
The moment Edward's face came in my mind so vividly, I burst into tears. I leaned in and closed my face in my hands.
"Hey…Bella…" Esmee, who was sitting next to me, hugged me tightly. "Bring her some water. Don't you see she is not ok?"
"I'm going." Alice said and left fast.
I heard Edward's mother sighing. "Listen to me, my dear. Anything that I've told you before is because I didn't know you. My son has made many wrong choices in his personal life. Many women who broke his heart, many women that he broke their hearts. But he will always be my son and I care for him. Him and Emmett are all I have."
"Mum." A rusty, deep voice was heard.
I lifted my head up and saw a tall figure standing above us.
"Emmett!" I was so happy to see him there. He was one of my most favourite people in the whole Earth.
"Shit. What did you tell her and she is crying?" He asked ready to punch whoever hurt me.
"Emm…" Rosalie came from behind him. "She is having a hard time. What did you expect?"
"Rose! I am so glad to see you!" She came to me and I hugged her.
"It's gonna be ok, Bella. You will see." She told me and I nodded hoping that it was true. Really deep inside though, like lava ready to come out of an erupted volcano, my fear and worry that things would turn out not so good "ate" me from inside out.
"I brought some water for… Hey guys! When did you come?" Alice came and greeted Rosalie and Emmett.
"Just now. We came with the same plane as my parents, but we got in a different cab and that jerk went from a different street." Emmett explained. "I had to yell at him to make him finally search for a faster way to come here."
Alice handed me the plastic glass with water and I tried to drink some. It felt as if I was trying to swallow spikes. Every drop scratched my insides as it was falling down to my stomach. Like a burning fire setting my body on fire.
I handed her the glass back. "I don't want anymore."
"No, Bella. You must drink some water and eat too." Esmee advised me and tried to give it back to me again. "You are not alone anymore."
I turned to look at her. I opened my mouth to say something, but the moment air entered my lungs, every word seemed to be washed away and everything I had in mind seemed unworthy mentioning at that point. Without thinking about it much, I fell in her arms and hugged her tightly starting to breath faster and more deeply.
"I love your son so much. I really do. He is my everything. I can't afford to lose him. I'll go insane!" I mumbled between sobs and teardrops.
Esmee stroked my hair. "I know you do, Bella. I know. He loves you too. A lot. You are the first girlfriend that he stood up for to me. That moment I knew that you were really important to him. At first, I couldn't see why…" I tried to laugh a bit, but it sounded like I exhaled loudly and my breath stopped for a second.
"Seriously, Bella, you are the best thing that ever happened in his life. You have changed him so much. He is a better person, because of you. And I am grateful to you for that." She confessed and made me cry even harder. I never thought that I would hear these words from Esmee. They meant so much to me.
She kept stroking my hair and my back. "We know what happened. Emmett told us on our way here. Alice had informed him." She sighed. "It was your fault for getting so jealous of Edward, but it also was Edward's for giving you a reason to be jealous of him. And to be honest, that Tanya," She made a noise of rejection. "I never liked her. Such a posy, high opinionated bitch."
I lifted my head up and used my hand to wipe away the tears from my face. I looked at her and we both laughed slightly with her words. Finally, something we both agreed with.
And as the atmosphere had become just a pinch lighter, I saw from the corner of my eye people wearing white uniforms running to somewhere. Everything around me stopped, the voices weren't audible anymore and everything seemed to move in slow motion. I followed them with my eyes in order to find out where they were going.
"Edward…" I whispered. They were heading to his room.
"Edward!" I said louder now and stood up.
Some hands tried to stop me, but I pushed them away.
I saw a doctor running towards Edward's room too and stopped him. "Doctor, please. Tell me, what is going on with Edward?"
"I am sorry, I need to hurry…"
"I said tell me!" I yelled at him and grabbed his hand tighter. "What is happening?"
I saw him sighing and then he talked. "Apparently, his health deteriorated. We don't know exactly what caused it yet, but we need to go in there and see what is going on."
"Deteriorated? Like…a stroke? A heartattack? WHAT?"
"Mrs. Swan, I can't tell you more right now. Please, I really have to go in there with the other doctors."
"No, NO!" I shouted and tried to follow him. I felt someone grabbing me from behind, his arms around my stomach and bringing me closer to his body.
Damn you Emmett and your strength!
I struggled to set myself free from his tight grip.
"Edward! NO! NOOOO! NOOOOO!" I screamed and moved my legs hectically hitting the air, as I was trying to escape.
"LET ME GOOOO!" I yelled and hit his arms violently. "NO! NOOO! Edwaaardd…." My voice broke the moment I realized that there was nothing I could do anymore. I was useless. I couldn't even run out from Emmett's death grip.
I left a loud shout and resigned. I stopped fighting. There was no point.
The others' came around me. But I couldn't see them. My vision was blur from the tears. I couldn't hear what they were saying either. My mind was frozen to that moment when all the doctors and nurses passed in front of me and headed to Edward's room.
I prayed to God. I prayed to the universe. I prayed to anyone who could help my Edward stay alive and come back to me and his family.
I prayed, because without Edward, I had no life.
For he was my life.
XXX
Chapter end notes: Another extremely difficult and emotional chapter for me. It was hard to write it, but I enjoyed writing it, cause it was a big challenge. I admit that I cried while writing this chapter too… And here is the big question. Will Edward live? Or die? The reply will probably come at the next chapter. And what about the new fact? Bella is pregnant! What will she do now?
As you saw, the dreams that Bella had seen in the previous chapter weren't random. I do believe that our dreams have a hidden meaning of things to come. So, that is what happened to Bella too. She saw that she was searching for Edward, that he was asking for her help and he had the accident. She saw that she was pregnant and it happened too. Hope you got the meaning of them now.
So, what do you think will happen next? And thank you so much once more for reading and reviewing! Means a lot to me. :)
Till next time. :)
~Copyright ImaginaryWitch
Anonymous reviews replies: nikol: Thank you so so much! I really appreciate it. :) Glad you liked the chapters and I hope you like the next ones as well. Thanks for your constant support. :)
Fatsoula1980: I am glad you liked the dog howling part. ;) I love Roger. Killing him was a hard thing I had to write. :'( Ahaha! I hope you like the next chapters. Sometimes sad stories remain in our minds, because they are so different from the usual things. Don't you think? But we will see what happens in this story. Thank you so so much, you are always very kind! I can't even. :') You make me smile every time. Φιλιά!
Guest: Thank you very much! :) I appreciate it. Yeah… I love Roger… Poor doggy… :'( Thanks for reading and taking the time to review. We shall see what is up for Edward.
Guest: I know right? Edward is a person though. He can make mistakes. Take the wrong decisions. Don't we all do anyway? He should have talked to Bella. And yes, poor Roger… :'( Tanya… She is a bitch, isn't she? And Alice, poor Alice, she just thought she was helping. She couldn't have known, could she? Thank you for reading and reviewing! :)
xxHopes4Everxx: Ahaha! I hope you won't kill me after all. :p I know. It hurt me killing Roger… I loved him too. And we will see what happens to Edward. Thanks dear for reading and reviewing! I appreciate it. :)
