AN- A LITTLE DETOUR FROM OUR MAIN STORY TO GIVE YOU ALL A TASTE OF WHAT WE HAD BEFORE THE YAOIWEH ARC. AND BTW THE NEXT CHAPTER AFTER THIS ONE IS THE LAST ONE OF THE YAOIWEH ARC. BUT IT WILL BE A MAJOR CHAPTER...LIKE A MOVIE SO TO SPEAK.
THEN I'LL RESUME DOING FAIRY TALES...AND WHATEVER ELSE PEOPLE WANT.
NOW WITHOUT FURTHER ADO..
THE CHRISTMAS FILLER.
Sasuke appeared.
"What the hell? Weren't we just fighting Naraku?"
Think of this as a filler episode.
"Filler sounds like something I hate with a passion."
As do I sasuke...As do I.
"So this is another fairytale?"
Sorta...it's a christmas poem.
"I hate Christmas."
Why Sasuke?
"Because It was christmas the day Itachi killed the clan."
Ooooh...Well hey cheer up. Maybe this year you'll get them back as a present from Santa.
"THAT'S SO WRONG OMG!"
'Twas the night before Christmas,
"What the hell is 'Twas'? Was he to lazy to write 'This was'?
when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
"Why the hell would a mouse stir something?"
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;
"Wait Shouldn't they be waiting for Santa?"
They are.
"So who is this st. Nicholas guy?"
He's Santa.
"Santa's name is Nicholas?"
Apparently.
"So where did he get the name Santa from?"
I don't know.
"Why not?"
Because I don't.
"Oh I'm sorry I thought you were the greatest author in the world not a noob. You are suppose to know these things man."
Your right. Normally parents know these things. Hey I've got an idea, why don't you go ask your pa-OH wait I forgot...You can't anymore.
...
...
Too personal?
"Too personal."
Sorry.
"It's ok. It was the heat of the moment."
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads;
"Shino why do you have shades on in the bed?"
"DON'T TALK TO ME YOU WHISKERED FACE PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A NINJA!"
"I didn't see you take out Gaara. In fact you almost got beat by Kankurou. KANKUROU FOR KAMI SAKE! HE'S BARELY A MAIN CHARACTER!"
"...Watch your back Uzumaki."
"Mendukosai,Chouji stop spooning me please."
"You would have a spoon in the bed wouldn't you tebayo."
Choji reached across Shino and smacked Naruto.
"I wish Sasuke would spoon me. From the front AND back."
"But you have no front OR back Sakura."
Once again Naruto was smacked
And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,
"Hold up. Who is telling the story?" Sasuke asked.
Me. But you are playing me, so technically you are.
"Awww I didn't know you were such a Sasuke fanboy Inuyonas."
I'm also a SasuSaku fan and-
"I'll be quiet."
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
"HAA...breast."
Real mature Sasuke...
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
"What the Hell! I said make a right and you dumbasses crash into the damn ground! I swear if the Icha Icha Book I'm writing in my pockets is damaged...THEN IT'S YOUR ASSES!"
"It's not our fault un! I was distracted something utterly disgusting popping into my thoughts."
"That can't be true because you don't think Deidara. And what was it?"
"I was thinking about what you call art Sasori-senpai."
"...Oh no you didn't."
"Well I for one think Itachi is to blame. He's the one going blind."
"Me? I think it was the fact that you can't breathe normally because YOU HAVE FREAKIN GILLS MAGIKARP!"
"...Magikarp?"
"Well I for one am blaming Nagato. You see how skinny he is, you all know he can't pull his weight."
"No konan I can pull my weight just fine. It's YOUR weight that drug us down. You gaining weight and you know it. I cannot lie to you anymore."
Konan looked like she had just been slapped.
"All of you guys are wrong. It was the old man. He's like 200 or something. You people know he's elderly and can't function normally."
Madara glared. "Listen here you...you...what the hell are you anyway?"
Zetsu shrugged.
"All of you shut it!" Jiraiya shouted. "Now I have to call you by names."
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! on Cupid! on, Donder and Blitzen!
"Now Dickhead, now puppet!, Now Magikarp and Sightless!
On Fat girl! On Scrawny , Old man, and green haired Black-and-white Bitch!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too.
They all Shunshined to the roof.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
"I don't have hooves."
"He talking about your face."
Kisame glared at Itachi.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.
"Jiraiya? your Santa claus?"
"Sasuke? you have a family?"
His eyes - how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;
"With the way I'm describing him...I'm starting to feel a little gay."
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
"Little? Then I guess Choji' is SUPER small huh?"
"Watch it brat! Don't make me get my reindeer on you..."
"I can take anything you got!"
"...you are so lucky I'm not Orochimaru."
That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
"Where's the milk and cookies at?" Jiraiya asked.
"Uh...Hello...I live with Choji."
"Oh right."
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, when he drove out of sight,
"MAGIKARP PLEASE HELP THAT MAN WITH NO SIGHT!"
"Screw... all of you." Itachi said.
"FINALLY!"
...
...
...
...
Everyone just stared at Konan.
"So this guy...with illegal and probably radioactive mutated deer lands on the roof of my house, somehows fits and slides down the chimney, winked at me then left...WHERE THE HELL ARE MY PRESENTS!"
"Sasuke can you quiet down your agitating us." Naruto said walking up torward Sasuke from behind.
"Why are you sleeping with a bunch of boys anyway Naruto?"
"Hey Sakura's in there too."
"And I repeat, Why are you sleeping with a bunch of boys anyway Naruto?"
"Point taken."
AN- CUT! PRINT! PUBLISH!
REVIEW...PLZ?
