Clarke struggled to breathe in Lexa's quarters.
'What the hell is she doing? Is this revenge because for the missile? Because I couldn't save Lincoln?'
She had realised that Octavia had resented her for a lot of what had happened but this was nonsensical.
'It does not matter why.' Lexa said quickly. 'Octavia can rescind the challenge and Indra is talking with her now. If she will not, then you must flee.'
'Flee?' Clarke repeated in shock and terror.
'You must. It is the only way to guarantee your survival. Go to the woods close to Skaikru. Once Octavia has been removed as chancellor and Kane is in charge you will be able to return and seek sanctuary there.'
'Wait- stop, Lexa!' Clarke said, shaking her head. 'You're going to kill Octavia?'
'It is the only way.'
'No, this isn't happening. I'm not leaving so she gets killed in place of myself or Bellamy. I'm not leaving you.' Clarke vehemently told her.
If Lexa killed the leader of one of her clans because of this then she was as good as dead. The other leaders would not stand for such a move, and she would have lost her only trusted ally in Skaikru. Trikru wanted justice for their people, they would not support this.
'Clarke-' Lexa began but Clarke cut her off; Lexa's life would not once again be put on the line for her.
'I know you're scared. Believe me, I went through this with you and Roan, but if this is what has to happen-'
'Do you wish to die?' Lexa challenged.
'I'm not suicidal, Lexa.' Clarke snapped. 'But I'm not running this time. It's about more than survival.'
Lexa looked positively horrified. Her usually cool composure had almost entirely evaporated. Her eyes flashed dangerously with fear and anger. Lexa had always accepted Clarke for who she was and the decisions she made but her impulse had always been to save Clarke at every turn. Clarke needed her to let her do this. If Clarke fled and allowed Lexa to kill Octavia to guarantee her survival, Arkadia would completely fall apart and would see it as another betrayal by Lexa. Bellamy would seize the opportunity to rally opposition against her and the clans would revolt at such brutal leadership.
'I can do this.' Clarke promised her.
What were you thinking?' Indra demanded.
'Octavia, we can't do this. We can't put Bellamy against Clarke in a duel to the death! Think about what you're asking here!' Kane urged.
'Bellamy deserves to die.' Octavia spat with conviction.
'Then you do it!' Indra hissed.
'And what if Clarke is the one to die?' Kane asked, horrified.
'Clarke always survives.' Octavia dismissed, with more nonchalance than she actually felt.
'Bellamy is trained as a guard. In combat, Clarke-'
'Then that's what will happen.' Octavia declared defiantly. 'They've been causing war since they got here and now they can finally sort it out between them. You think either of them will stick to peace whatever the agreement is? We go round in circles with them. They don't know anything other than death.'
'And you will share that fate.' Indra said in a dangerous voice. 'You do not know Lexa's history. Lexa had a love before. I watched as she fell for a girl who was pretty and sweet. Lexa believed her future lay only with that woman, her duty as Heda was merely a burden she must bear until her death. Then the woman she loved had her head cut off and it was sent to Lexa's bed by Nia of Azgeda and Lexa still allowed her into the Coalition. Yet that same queen ended up with a spear through the chest when she threatened Clarke's life.'
Octavia turned away. Lexa could not interfere. Octavia had used Lexa's own laws. Her love for Clarke could not stop this from happening.
'She will do anything to keep Clarke safe. That is her weakness and that is why she is dangerous.'
'You resent Clarke too, I know it.' Octavia insisted vehemently. 'That's why you stopped following Lexa. You always followed her no matter what, but she gave up her own loyalties and advisers in favour of turning always to Clarke. She sacrificed all of the Grounder traditions for Clarke.'
'So what do you think she will do now Clarke is in danger?' Indra wailed, in despair.
'Lexa can't stop this.'
'I know your anger, your thirst for vengeance, Octavia of the Sky People. Lexa left Lincoln to Skaikru and Bellamy was responsible for his death but this is not what Lincoln would want. I knew Lincoln since he was a boy. He was always kind and sweet and good. He would not want to see you turn into this. Bellamy and Clarke were both his friends.'
Octavia's blood boiled at this.
'Bellamy is the reason he's dead and Clarke abandoned all of us! I am sick of paying for their mistakes. I'm sick of other people dying because of them. They can end it once and for all!'
'Octavia,' Kane pleaded, 'if you call this off no one has to die. The deal that Lexa proposed was radical and visionary. It can be how we move forward from such destruction in peace. Do not go back to blood must have blood. You're in pain because of the murder Bellamy committed, do not create yet more deaths.'
'It is done.' Octavia spat.
'Leave.' Lexa whispered dangerously when Indra entered the throne room.
Indra had failed. She could not even convince Octavia that this was folly.
Indra ignored her.
'Where is Clarke?'
Lexa did not answer, she only gripped her arm rests of the throne tighter.
Clarke had insisted talking to Bellamy. Lexa saw this as a pointless endeavour. Bellamy could not stop this, only Octavia could. It was a waste of time.
'You cannot kill Octavia.'
Lexa pulled the dagger from its sheath and carefully ran it through her fingers. She slowly stood up and made her way down the steps, anger pouding through her heart. She was millimetres from Indra's face, almost mirroring the exact stance she had held against Bellamy.
She took in her features, hatred rampaging through her body. She had respected Indra as a child, been intimidated by her strength and control but Indra had betrayed her, and to do the bidding of someone who believed in jus drein jus daun. Indra's desire for murder, her raw emotion, had forged a connection with Octavia, a bond that would end up with blood on everyone's hands and had put Clarke's life in danger.
'I am Heda.' Lexa replied, murder in her heart.
'Octavia does not know what she is doing, Lexa. You know how angry she is at her brother. It is a childish act but she does not deserve death for it.'
'You would see Clarke die.' Lexa hissed.
Indra swallowed noticeably but a fire blazed behind her eyes.
'Wanheda is death, Commander.'
Lexa gripped her dagger and brought it to Indra's face slowly. Indra's eyes never left Lexa's.
'She was screaming like a wild animal when she was brought here. You did not see the mountain, Heda, but I did. I went with Skaikru when they sought supplies and to put the bodies to rest. Hundreds of them with their skin melted as though Clarke had dragged them into hell. The girl is dangerous. She's a poison. When you brought her here you tainted Polis. How quickly you listened to her above everyone else, even Titus. It was Clarke that drove Titus to betray you, it was Clarke who tried to murder the Ice Queen without even thinking about what ramifications that would have. It was Clarke who destroyed our tradition and crushed everything that our people believed in. Those villagers wept because they were not given justice. It was her who made you cast me out because I did not follow what she believed in. Clarke will survive, if only because she is adept at cursing the fates of everyone else.'
Lexa pushed the dagger into Indra's skin and a spot of blood appeared at her throat. How dare she speak of Clarke in such a way. How dare she even say her name.
'I know I was hard on you, Lexa, but that's because you needed it. You were not strong enough then. Anya believed too much in you. You showed great strength in uniting the Coalition but since this girl fell from the sky you have abandoned all that you were taught. Your love for her makes you weak. You've betrayed your people for her. Do not let Octavia suffer because of your mistakes.'
'My mistake was sparing Octavia's life.' Lexa replied coolly.
Indra grabbed Lexa's blade and tried to pull Lexa's legs under her own but Lexa was too swift. She punched Indra with her left hand with such force that Indtra staggered several steps back and her hands went to her face as she stumbled pathetically. Lexa advanced slowly and Indra dove at her but Lexa dodged and kicked Indra's legs from beneath her so she fell onto her back with a dull thud.
Lexa straddled her and stabbed Indra's thigh and shoulder so that she screamed in agony.
'You will cause no more trouble here. You will leave Clarke in peace.' Lexa told her in a low voice. 'It is a shame by those terms that you cannot thank her, for she was the one who convinced me to spare Octavia's life.'
'You want a trip around Polis?' Bellamy asked sceptically.
'You've not had a chance to see it.' Clarke shrugged.
She took him through the crowded streets. Despite anything that ever happened politically (bar the ALIE mess) Polis always countinued on much the same. Barely anyone spared them a second glance. It was freeing to be lost in the crowd, well, except for Lexa's guards trailing them. She wanted to show Bellamy just what she was fighting for.
Clarke wanted nothing more than to tell him everything that they were facing but it would serve no purpose except burden him with yet another horror. They were still going to have to face each other in a bloody conclusion. If she died, Lexa was more than capacble of deciding whether he could be trusted and Lexa was more than enough to get them through this. Raven had managed to make the Flame stop rejecting Lexa's blood. Lexa would go on and save the rest of her people and the world, she had no doubt.
They walked on in silence until Clarke reached the artists' square. She smiled softly at the sight.
'It's beautiful, right?'
Clarke blinked back tears as she thought of when Lexa first brought her here. She'd been so angry with her and so tired of being consumed by hate and grief. This square had been the first bit of hope she had witnessed in a long time. It had made her believe that maybe life and all its agony was worth it all.
She half wanted to run back to Polis and simply be held by Lexa until she had to face Bellamy. She didn't want to waste time but it ripped her heart to see Lexa so fearful. Lexa had seen Costia's head be delivered in a box and now she might have to watch Clarke be slain in front of a crowd, so she had walked to Bellamy for a conversation she knew she must have, even if her heart ached to be with Lexa.
'Yeah,' Bellamy admitted quietly, 'it is.'
Clarke turned to him but Bellamy continued to watch the square for a moment before he could bring himself to look at her.
'Clarke-' His voice crumbled.
'Bellamy,' Clarke said, forcing steadiness to her own voice, 'we have to do this.'
Bellamy would look for any way out he could find but it was hopeless.
'How?' Bellamy asked desperately.
'For our people.' Clarke shrugged. 'I don't want to hurt you, Bellamy but if the choice is your death or my own, a fate for my people that I don't believe in or unity then I'll do what I have to. You don't want them to follow me or Lexa so this is where we are.'
'But death?'
'That's what this life demands.' Clarke replied.
'And you're okay with that?' Bellamy asked, outraged.
'I've not been okay with any of it but I'm not going to stand in that ring and let myself be killed and neither are you. ' Clarke told him. 'I needed you Bellamy but you walked away. All of our choices have led us here. After losing Wells and Finn, I could always count on you but then we broke it, or at least I thought so, but maybe the truth is that we forced our own unity. We were both headstrong but we always fought about how best to lead. We almost never agreed on what was right. We kept trying to force the issue that we'd be perfect leaders together so we can't be surprised now.'
'I hated you for choosing Lexa.'
'I chose a life better than the one you and blood must have blood offered.' Clarke said. 'Even if Lexa wasn't commander, I wouldn't have wanted all that you've brought. We can't keep blaming her and the Grounders for our problems. We have to face this.'
'You're right. I still don't want that life.' Bellamy replied. 'But I don't know if I can do this.'
'We didn't know if we'd be able to burn three hundred Grounders alive or iradiate three hundred people, including children. We did it because we wanted to survive. This is what comes next.'
'And afterwards then what?'
'Then whoever survives has to live with it.'
Lexa watched from her doorway as Clarke sat on the sofa, staring at herself in the mirror. Having this quiet moment to watch Clarke was both soothing and terrifying. She couldn't imagine ever not having Clarke in her life. Clarke had stormed into her tent, a force to be reckoned with and had broken the mundane life of death that being Heda had meant. It was not just Clarke's sheer unrelenting will she had fallen for, it had been the softness of her voice when she spoke about her loved ones, the rare twinkle of her blue eyes whenever she made a joke, her fire whenever she was challenged, her total and embracing capacity for love. It had been frightening to be faced with someone with such a large heart. Clarke cared beyond anything and everything. Her love ran through her veins. As Lexa had begun to realise that love was strength she had fallen in love with Clarke. She remembered the anxiety that plagued her each day that someone as loving as Clarke may hate her and feel nothing in return and yet she had found herself engulfed by Clarke's passion. It had not made them reckless or set Polis on fire, it had given her strength through quiet contentment, from moments where Clarke would give her that delicate smile and Lexa would feel her heart soar.
'Will you help me?' Clarke asked softly, looking up from the mirror and Lexa nodded, walking towards her and she wished that she could just watch Clarke forever.
'War paint?' Lexa asked, her voice thick with emotion.
Clarke nodded, her eyes pools of sorrow, regret and love.
Clarke lay back on her seat yet did not turn so she could face Lexa next to her. Lexa read her movements and brought her legs over Clarke, straddling her so their faces were inches apart.
Lexa reached for the war paint from the table but she stopped her movement when she felt Clarke's head against her shoulder and then to the crook of her neck. Clarke buried herself in Lexa. She pulled Clarke closer, stroking her back, and hoping her grasp on her would keep her safe forever.
'It will be okay.' Lexa promised her.
'Even if I can do this, how will I live with it?'
'Together.' Lexa replied.
She needed Clarke to know she would not abandon her. That whatever happened their fates were one. She would not walk away from her as she had at the mountain, as Bellamy had at the gates of Arkadia.
She pulled Clarke's chin up so that she could look into those blue eyes once more and her fingers traced Clarke's cheek.
'We'll get through it together with the knowledge you did what needed to be done for all of us.'
'So we just keep going from fight to fight?' Clarke asked.
'Yes,' Lexa said, 'and when our bodies meet death, our spirits will walk to death and to peace with the knowledge that our loved ones were given hope.'
'There is hope in any of this?'
'Clarke, if there wasn't, would any of us be here at all?'
Lexa pressed a tender kiss to Clarke but Clarke pulled their mouths together greedily. Clarke sucked Lexa's bottom lip and cupped her face to kiss her nose, her eyes and then lowered to her neck to place adoring kisses to Lexa but Lexa pulled away, cupping Clarke's face once more.
'No,' Lexa said, fighting back tears as her voice wavered, 'this is not goodbye.'
Clarke tried to give a smile but the corners of her lips barely twitched. Lexa stroked her hair back and picked up the war paint.
'Are you going to make me like you?' Clarke asked, her voice small but hopeful at the sentiment.
'No, Clarke.' Lexa smiled. 'You deserve more than that.'
Lexa carefully painted Clarke's face and the situation reminded her of so many mornings where she would find Clarke staring intently at her and sketching. Clarke always took great care to present Lexa as the best possible version in her art. Lexa saw love in those pictures but also reality. Clarke knew Lexa's flaws well, the anger that could rise in her eyes, the clench of her jaw when she was annoyed but Clarke did not edit these features. She drew and painted them all as worthy. Lexa promised to take as much care with Clarke in this moment to give her artist the representation she deserved. It took time and Lexa could not help but stroke along Clarke's jaw or brush her hair behind her ear with her free hand as she worked.
She finally slipped from Clarke's legs and handed her the mirror. Clarke's eyes widened for a second but broke into a genuine smile.
'I do look like Wanheda.'
'That is the point, Clarke.'
Black marked along Clarke's eyes, the only gap at the ridge of the nose. It was a similar style as she wore to the night of the summit when Skaikru had been initiated into the clans. Now, however, there was also a shard of black running down each eye to almost the corner of Clarke's lips. It honoured what they had achieved together by being not too dissimilar from Lexa and yet it was ultimately Clarke's design.
'I did not expect you to want war paint.' Lexa admitted; Clarke identified so strongly with Skaikru she thought she would stick to their traditions.
'I am Skaikru, but also a Grounder, and you are Trikru and Lincoln was Trikru. I'm opposed to Bellamy because I want unity. It felt right.' Clarke explained. 'It is right.'
Clarke put the mirror down and stood up, pulling on her black boots. She was wearing the grey top that Lexa knew she'd had worn when she had landed. Armour in these contests was not allowed except for leather which was considered adequate clothing but Clarke had shunned it. She wore the clothes of her kin but the war paint of her allies and friends. She would fight to the death for the ideal of unity.
They both started when the door opened and Murphy walked in, although he looked as though he would rather be anywhere else right now.
'It's time we went down, Clarke.' Murphy said sadly.
Clarke nodded. The fact he did not joke or make some comment made the situation feel even more grave.
'You ready?' Murphy asked in a clipped voice and Lexa eyed his nerves.
'Ready as I'll ever be.' Clarke replied tightly.
'You're a survivor. Remember that.' Murphy urged her and Clarke suddenly ran forward to give him the briefest of hugs.
Clarke stepped back, her hands shaking slightly and Lexa wished her fear away. Clarke needed to focus.
'Look after this one for me.' Clarke told Murphy indicating her head at Lexa.
'I won't need to.' Murphy assured her. 'But I promise I'll do my best.'
Clarke tried to recall how at peace with her fate Lexa had been before her fight with Roan and suddenly she felt a new wave of respect wash over her because right now she was fighting the urge to run out of Polis. She reminded herself that this would be pointless, she was already surrounded by so many crowds on the way to the arena that she'd be lucky to get any further than she did when her and Roan tried to break out of Polis.
Octavia followed behind her. Kane was by her side. She didn't know if this comforted her or made her feel sick at the association with Skaikru leadership given what they were demanding she do.
'No one will think any less of you for anything that happens here today.' Kane told her.
Clarke felt some reassurance at that but she did not believe it. Her and Bellamy were about to fight like feral animals. No matter what others thought of her she would surely think less of herself.
'Have you spoken to my mother?' Clarke asked.
She had not radioed her mother. That was one conversation that would ruin her. She needed strength and if she talked to her mother she'd be too busy worrying about her pain rather than focusing on what lay ahead.
'No.' Kane admitted.
Clarke looked at him surprised.
'She'll be pissed but you did the right thing.' Clarke offered.
They made their way into the arena. Kane squeezed Clarke's arm but she stepped back when she thought he would hug him. She needed to look in control and she could feel Bellamy at the far end of the arena as so many people were hissing in that direction.
'Clarke-' Octavia started.
Octavia's face seemed contorted with regret and Clarke felt a mingle of pity at the sight. She wasn't sure Octavia even knew what she wanted from this. Even if she won, how would Octavia then feel watching Clarke murder her brother?
'Good luck.' She wished her quietly before climbing up to where the clan leaders, Lexa and Murphy sat.
Clarke turned away quickly. She didn't think she could look at Lexa. She'd fall apart. She was sure she was already mourning the things she worried she'd never have with her. The image of the Flame flashed in her mind and Clarke felt some reassurance tug at her heart. At least one Lexa would never be alone. At least a part of her would always remain with Lexa.
The air was heavy already with the cheers and shouts of the crowd. Clarke wondered how many had lost relatives because of the actions of herself and Bellamy. This was truly a personal fight for all involved.
There were half a dozen guards scattered against the arena. All had spears, swords, daggers and one held a set of chains. Perhaps he was so armed for if anyone in the crowd became too rowdy and interfered in the fight that saw two of the most hated members of Skaikru pitted against one another.
She finally looked at Bellamy. Her fear increased tenfold. This was her friend that she was set to die by or have to murder. Selfishly, there was a trace of dread as she noticed just how ready for a fight he was compared to her. He was far taller and stronger and Clarke knew she would need her wits to win this one.
The contest was almost certainly going to be clumsy. Clarke had trained with a blade but it was hardly anything to rival the skill of a Grounder. She did not know Bellamy's experience. It was probably an insult for him to fight the Grounder way but she did not care much. If Bellamy had his way then they'd just keeping shooting at each other.
Bellamy grabbed a sword from the guard who offered him one and Clarke did the same. She pulled it out and looked at its length for a moment. This was the weapon that would fail her or save her.
She finally looked at Lexa and her heart was in her mouth. She'd never seen such a devastated look in Lexa's eyes. She vowed that if she survived this she would make sure that Lexa's eyes would never burn like that again. Her face was pale but as impressively impassive as ever but Clarke had long ago learnt to read those giant green wells of emotions that were her eyes. She just wanted another moment to look into them, and that was when Clarke knew what was coming.
She ducked as Bellamy sliced through the air. The same trick that Roan had used. Bellamy could not and would not ever be able to turn their love into a weapon against them.
The ground was hard beneath the soles of her boots as she circled the arena. Bellamy and Clarke matched each other's steps staring into the face of the other. Bellamy's face was racked with regret and rage and Clarke knew that Bellamy would not back down, despite his earlier hesitancy, this was to the death. Neither of them could live now and it was everything and nothing to do with Octavia. They'd driven themselves to this point a long time ago. Clarke wondered if it had been when she had sent him into the mountain and grew so much closer with Lexa, but in her heart she realised that they had argued long before that. They had always been set apart from the moment they landed.
Clarke waited, still circling, knowing that Bellamy's hot head would make him give way at a moment and she was soon proved right as he lunged forward. She parried his attack at her and launched a series of strokes at him of her own. He managed to counter all but the last where he quickly rolled out of the way and jumped to his feet again.
As Bellamy continued to back away from her, Clarke's eyes were set with determination. She remembered the position of each guard and as Bellamy passed once she advanced on him again but the expected attack did not come for she grabbed a dagger from the guard and held it in her left arm ready. Bellamy eyed the knife and the sword and cursed the armed guards.
He ran at Clarke again but she jumped out of the way. She could see that he was reading her natural defensiveness as hesitancy and it would surely be one of their downfalls.
Clarke struck out this time but Bellamy was ready. He grabbed both of her wrists, dropping his blade that he had no skill with and he forced Clarke onto her knees. Bellamy kneed Clarke in the face and she dropped her dagger but she swung her legs from underneath her and knocked Bellamy's legs from under him, his back slamming into the dusty ground. He scrambled to get clear as Clarke rose to her knees and grabbed her sword and swung it at him, slicing through his clothes and his lower leg started dripping blood.
Clarke jumped up and felt a surge of triumph at this small gain and then her heart turned to ice at the thought that she could take such joy at hurting her friend; but this was survival, she told herself.
Bellamy hurled himself at her and Clarke crashed to the ground but she brought her leg up sharply, kneeing him in the gut. She rolled over and struck Bellamy with her fists again and again. His face was bloody and she felt his nose break but he grabbed her wrists again and with all his strength he kicked out and threw her over his own head so she landed on her back. Clarke jumped up and ran to the guard with the chains, grabbing them from him.
The crowd gasped as Clarke swung them around menacingly in her hand and Bellamy paled. He grabbed his sword from the ground and stood facing Clarke with a look of terror but in that moment, Clarke thought she saw hate too. Hate for all that she had done perhaps, for risking his sister with the missile, for leaving them but Clarke felt her own hatred for him too.
Clarke swung the chains at him but he jumped twice out the way and cut inside, where Clarke just missed the sword. She swung around and Bellamy had his back to her after his failed lunge and she grabbed the ends of the chains and hurled them over his neck, jumping on his back. Bellamy grunted as he fell on his face, the chains choking him as Clarke's weight held him down, her knee in his back. The crowd screamed at such a way that this would end. Bellamy fought desperately but Clarke would not be tricked like she had with Roan as she started to count how long it was taking so that she would know when Bellamy would have slipped to death.
Clarke's focus on the back of Bellamy's neck missed his outstretched hand as he grabbed his sword and plunged it in Clarke's forearm. Clarke shrieked in pain, pulling it out. Bellamy took advantage and forced Clarke away from him. As she stumbled back, Bellamy freed himself from the chains.
Dark red blood dropped from Clarke's arm to the ground and she held it with her right hand. Clarke circled Bellamy again and stopped quickly to pick up the dagger as he had picked up the sword.
Clarke's left arm felt as though it was burning from the pain. She winced as she tried to move her left hand but she found it sluggish. She knew the pain was impacting her movements of it and she was on the back foot now. Bellamy held control.
Bellamy eyed the wound and she saw a look of victory and sorrow cloud his eyes.
Clarke unfathomably chanced a look at Lexa and her heart swelled with love while Lexa's eyes widened at Clarke's distraction. Clarke dodged Bellamy's predictable strike again and with her arms weak she head butted him in the face so that he howled and collapsed. She stamped down hard on his right hand and injured leg before driving her blade through his left hand as he used it to try to fight her off. She held him down again with her weight, his legs locked beneath hers as she pressed the dagger to the middle of his throat.
Bellamy froze for a second, knowing what was coming, his body still except for the blood that was pouring from his wounds. His eyes were orbs of pain.
'It's okay.' He whispered.
Clarke choked back a sob and forced the blade through his throat, pulling it out in an instant and wrenching herself away from Bellamy's broken body.
