Sorry this chapter is so long overdue, but it's a super long one :)
Thoughts and comments are appreciated :)
The kiss, mercifully, was quick. When he pulled away, Tyler stared at me expectantly, waiting for my reaction. Dumb and stuck in disbelief, I stood stock-still silently, my wide eyes stuck on Tyler's smirking face. As his smirk grew however, I felt someone drawing nearer. Though I didn't have the good sense to turn around, the large brown hand and arm that snapped and hurled at Tyler's face let me know that it wasn't my brother or Matt who knocked Tyler off his feet and out.
I looked down at Tyler and cocked my head to the side in speculation. His handsome jaw was quickly bruising, and his nose was definitely broken and bleeding. Somehow, I felt zero remorse for his pain in that moment. Nothing about his predicament inspired any sympathy in me. The emptiness inside, the blankness of feelings, was horrifying. I knew that what I needed above all else in that moment was to get away.
Oh god. She's got that look on her face. She's going to bolt. Seth's thoughts, unbidden, drifted gently into my own thoughts, melding with my consciousness. I dimly registered a feeling that I couldn't place…something like comfort, but more empathetic than that.
"You want me to put him anyplace special?" Paul grunted as he toed Tyler in the side. Unresponsive as I was, Paul turned to Sam for direction while I continued to look down at the grass that caressed my bare feet. It was cold and squishy, but it felt nice.
A hot hand enclosed around mine, and Seth's thoughts felt stronger, more concrete somehow.
She needs to go. I want to go with her, but she…needs someone else. Does she want Colton or Matt? Or does she need Leah?
God I want to help her; get that look off her face. She's too pretty to look so sad.
Tell me what to do, Summer. Dammit, I don't know what you need.
Although he wasn't actually addressing me in his thoughts, that whispery plea was all I needed to come back to myself.
My voice, croaky and hoarse, left me feeling even more hollow than before. "I'm leaving. I'll be back tomorrow. Leah?"
"What?" she demanded.
"You're coming with me."
She hmphed in response but didn't comment, just as I knew she would. Leah followed me to my car and hopped in the passenger side. Colton hurried over in a light jog to hand me my purse. I threw the bag into the backseat and felt no annoyance whatsoever when it exploded and scattered money, tissues, lipsticks, and granola bars all over the backseat of my car.
"Caroline?" I called. She had since roused herself from the rental car and stood beside where Paul was glaring down at Tyler and occasionally shooting her death glares. I nodded my head to the backseat of my car and she scurried over and inside. I threw myself into the driver's seat and shut my door, waving distractedly at the watching pack as I spun around and shot down the dirt road to the main road like a bat out of hell.
We ended up, ironically, at the same bar in Port Angeles that I worked at. My boss wasn't in, I knew they didn't check IDs, and it was really the only place I felt even remotely semi-comfortable in. When I dragged Leah and Caroline inside after a super awkward and long car ride, I walked straight up to the bar and smiled at the bartender. The sun was just beginning to set in the cloudy sky outside, but the bar was already as rambunctious as ever.
"Hey there, little one," the bar tender called to me with a wink. "You're not on the schedule this week."
"I know. I'm here on my own time. Can I get some drinks?" I asked sweetly. The bartender, whose name I could not remember, blinked at me slowly, almost sleepily.
"Can I see some ID?" he returned. I increased the sugar in my smile and turned the charm on full as I slowly blinked back at him.
"I really just want some drinks. My friends are waiting." The bartender smiled a dopey grin.
"Pick your poison," he offered with a smirk.
I plopped a bottle of tequila on the table Caroline and Leah had picked and set three shot glasses down alongside it. I slumped into the third chair and glared at the bottle harshly. Leah looked peeved by the whole ordeal but Caroline…watched me, waiting. She understood. She knew better than anyone else what Tyler would drive me to do. She knew better than any other person in Forks-La Push exactly what I needed to get past the fight and Tyler's revelation. Caroline understood what Summer did to escape her reality, Tyler specifically.
I could remember all too clearly the nights Caroline had been my companion when we tore up the tiny town we had been born in. I could vividly remember raising hell with her by my side, drinking ourselves into oblivion when Tyler was high with his stoner buddies and making moves on Matt's sister Vicki. The clarity of my past was startling, and I realized that it was a side effect of my magic returning to me.
"So," Caroline said in a bright, distracting voice. She looked around uneasily. "This is a nice place."
"You liar," Leah huffed out bitterly, crossing her arms over her chest. Her glare swiveled from Caroline to me and honed in on my bland expression. "This is where Summer works."
"Hmm. Well. It's just lovely," Caroline punctuated sarcastically with a dramatic eye roll. She gestured to the tequila and I nodded my assent. Caroline opened the bottle and measured out three healthy shots in the glasses on the table. "What the hell are you doing, Summer?" Caroline sighed softly.
I knew that just as her question had a variety of meanings, my answer could have a variety of answers as well. I chose the easier, less scary and more lighthearted route.
"Drinking tequila and drowning in my sorrows," I told her drily as I threw back the shot and reveled in the slow burn down my throat. Leah and Caroline exchanged a charged, angry look before looking away mutually and focusing their eyes on me. I had already managed to down Caroline's shot and was working on Leah's.
The burn of the alcohol in my throat faded to a nice warmth in my belly. With the fire of the burn, I felt as though the alcohol was burning away the bad in me, and the problems associated with it. The idea was very poetic and made a lot of sense to my drunken mind and scattered thoughts.
I was pretty sure that I made it through half the bottle of tequila on my own. As far as I could tell, Leah didn't touch the stuff, and Caroline only took a shot or two. Before I knew it, I was moaning out my whole life's story for Leah in the noisy, crowded, stuffy bar while Caroline added some input herself every now and then when I paused for another shot. I didn't discount anything she said, but it was mainly because I couldn't hear her rapid whispers that were eerily close to Leah's ear. I did, however, begin to regale them both with my current problems, starting with my mother two years previous and ending with Tyler being the asshole that he was.
"And I mean, he's just such a little bitch," I finished my final slur with an eye roll. Caroline and Leah, though looking tired, were both still listening to my every word. I took comfort in the girls that cared for me; Seth, Jake, and Paul were great, but a girl needed some girlfriends, too.
"What happened with you and Jake?" Leah asked curiously as I paused to slop more tequila down my numbed throat. I wasn't even sure where I was anymore; it didn't even look like the place I worked at. I wondered idly when Caroline and Leah had moved me, and how they had done so without my realizing it. They were geniuses!
"I healed him with the magic of the beyond!" I shouted at her excitedly. My outburst and subsequent giggles earned a few stray looks of mild annoyance our way, but didn't deter the bar patrons in their own activities.
"Cut the crap, Summer," Leah rolled her eyes. "He follows you around almost as bad as my brother. And he made you wake up from your...kind-of coma. What. Happened?"
"I need more tequila," I pouted, shaking the empty bottle in Leah's face. She and Caroline wore matching frowns.
"You need a glass of water," Caroline stressed. She and Leah wore that same stern expression and glared at me. Hysterical giggles bubbled from my lips at the sight of them, frowning at me together, questioning my sanity.
"You two are the same person!" I squealed in delight. I clapped my hands together obnoxiously.
"Summer. Stop," Leah told me firmly with a frown.
"Yes mom," I snorted sarcastically. Tears sprung immediately to my eyes after the retort, suddenly regretful. Leah blanched at my tears while Caroline turned concerned. They had some differences, then.
"Summer, what's the matter?" Caroline asked me. Leah looked distinctly uncomfortable.
"I…I don't have…my mom is DEAD!" I wailed as I threw my head dramatically into my arms. Idly I wondered how I had consumed this much alcohol and was still alive and semi-functioning. Though my emotions were haywire and my brain fried, I could still hold a somewhat coherent conversation. Score two for Summer!
"Sum, you told us that your mom died years ago, remember? She hasn't been the same since your dad…"
I cut Caroline off with another dramatic declaration.
"I don't have a dad either! I'm an ORPHAN!" I wailed.
"You have a brother," Caroline offered weakly.
"Two brothers," Leah inserted sourly. Caroline looked over, surprised, and I continued sobbing into my arms.
"I'm a failure to both! I can't be a mom to Colton and he turned into a wolf! And I missed out on Sam's whole life! I'm a terrible sister!" I squealed.
The rest of the night passed in a long, colorful blur. I remembered playing beer pong with a large, scary looking biker man and also taking bets on winning at poker. I won, about $100 total, but Leah freaked and made Caroline give it back. After that, I remember being in the car, but not getting in or the ride home. After that, everything was fuzzy and punctuated with a stabbing headache.
"Hey there," a soft voice called quietly when I finally cracked my eyes open into slits. I sat up quickly, which was a big mistake, and threw up violently in a bucket someone held under my chin.
"You're okay, Summer," the soft voice continued soothingly. I blinked rapidly for several seconds, clearing my vision, and looked up into Seth's warm dark eyes. He smiled at me tenderly, with trembling lips, and waited for me to say something. I don't know why he looked so damn depressed, but I knew that I would find out if it killed me.
"What…where…" I couldn't even form a coherent question. Seth smiled at me sympathetically and rubbed my back with his huge, hot hand.
"You're back at home. Leah and Caroline brought you back. They're both in the kitchen now. How's your stomach?" he told me slowly. I blinked for a second, unresponsive while I formed my thoughts. All of a sudden, my thoughts were slower and my mouth felt disconnected.
"Last night…" I groaned. My back slumped, unable to hold my weight up, and Seth caught me before I slumped back onto the pillows behind me.
"You went to that bar in Port Angeles," Seth finished my thoughts for me. I nodded slowly, tracing back the events of the evening. "Tyler woke up a few minutes after you left," Seth explained, guessing my thoughts from my expression. I wasn't sure how he was exactly following my disjointed line of thoughts, but it certainly was helpful.
"Are you…"
"Mad at you? No. How could I be?"
"He kissed me."
"But you didn't kiss him. I know that. You were shocked. I mean, it was like an ambush."
"Yeah. But…"
"Do you want me to be mad? Would it make you feel better?" His question held no hint of sarcasm or bitterness, only concern. He wanted me to be comfortable with this, whether it meant he was mad or not. He was trying to make me feel better about my potential tryst with Tyler. I wasn't sure how this made me feel- did I want to be mad? Did I want Seth to be mad?
"You're confused," Seth said with a little smile. "I'll get you some coffee. I'll be back in a minute."
Seth returned with the largest mug we had, filled to the brim with hot coffee. I sipped on it slowly, and Seth smiled softly as he watched me.
"Why are you smiling?" I croaked curiously.
"Well…you don't like Tyler."
"Yeah. Didn't we talk about this a long time ago?"
"It's just nice to be reassured. You know, that you love me and not him. It's just nice."
"I love you," reminded him with a smile. Even with my head pounding and my skull throbbing, I could always muster up a smile for Seth. It was too difficult to not smile at him.
Seth laughed lightly and handed me two small blue pills-blessed pain relievers! Blessed boy!
"My hero!" I crowed as I downed them with a gulp of hot coffee. The coffee burned and scalded my mouth and throat, but I didn't care. Seth continued to chuckle at my antics and then slipped under the covers beside me on the bed. I scooted a little so he could fit his whole butt on the mattress and then relaxed against his chest with a relieved sigh. He gently pried the mug of coffee from my hands and placed it on the bedside table so we could cuddle properly. As the pain in my head dissipated and the throbbing lessened, Seth murmured sweet nothings and stroked my hair lovingly.
We were rudely interrupted two hours later when Jacob and Paul burst into my bedroom. Seth had fallen asleep and I was busy tracing patterns across his bare chest and humming softly. Their production shocked Seth awake and into a sitting position with his hair wild around his head and his chest flushed with surprise.
"Hey man, time for you to patrol," Jake chirped cheerfully.
"Don't worry," Paul reassured him with a dramatic wink and a glance in my direction. "We'll watch Summer for you."
Seth turned to me and kept his voice in a soft murmur as he kissed me softly on the cheek and forehead. "I'll be back at four. Don't wait up for me."
"So, Sum," Paul said after Seth had left reluctantly. "What's up?" Paul made himself comfortable on my left, on my side of the bed I shared with Seth, while Jacob took the spot Seth had been on. Squished between two full grown shifters was a tight squeeze on my queen size bed, and only barely manageable. On the plus side, I wasn't cold.
"I don't know," I murmured as I picked at threads on my blanket. I was suddenly shy around my guy friends-how had I looked, being kissed by my ex in front of their brother, and then taking off with his sister to go gallivanting in Port Angeles and drinking the night away? And from what I could remember, most of the morning, too…
"We're not judging; I hope you know," Jake told me with an eye roll. "We're just curious. What did you get up to exactly? Leah and Seth wouldn't give any details. Everyone could see you were upset…"
Why did they sound like such gossips? They were almost acting like teenage girls, and it was going to give me the giggles.
"Well, Jake's not judging," Paul leered. "I make no promises."
"Ha ha," I laughed sarcastically with an eye roll. I sighed and spoke seriously. "I took Leah and Caroline to the bar I work at. I remember a bottle of tequila. I think I drank it by myself." Paul whistled appreciatively, but neither of them commented. They waited for the rest of what I would tell them. "I think I cried about my mom and dad, but I don't remember that part. I mean, I remember thinking about it, but not talking about it. And then…I mean, Tyler's an ass. He always has been, but…I just…I don't know how things ended up like this. He and I…if I hadn't met Seth…" I trailed off, fighting back frustrated tears. For all that Leah and Caroline were able to do for me, I didn't understand how I could pour my heart out to Jacob and Paul and not them. Or Seth.
"You would have married him. Had a life together…back in Virginia," Paul guessed softly. His normally rambunctious, joking voice was subdued and pitched low.
"Yes," I whispered, choking on tears that really wanted out of my eyes. Paul slung his arm around my shoulders and Jacob took one of my hands. How could I feel as though I had known these boys my whole life? Why were they so important to me? Why did their opinions matter so much?
"You know, Sum," Jake started softly. He was staring at the wall directly in front of him, next to the closed door. He sighed softly. "None of that matters to Seth. You need to stop worrying about he feels in all of this. He loves you, and all he wants to do is make you happy. With you worrying about him and about everyone else around you, you're not happy. You're worried about everyone but yourself. That's what makes Seth upset. Not Tyler, not Colton, not the pack or your job or any of that crap. He gets upset when you're upset."
"How does this make you feel?" Paul asked, going off on Jacob's little tangent.
"Tired. Sad. Mad," I listed. "Angry that I can't please everyone. Agonized because I try anyway. Pissed because nothing seems to work out. Frustrated because someone always ends up hurt. Even if I don't like Tyler, I…I don't want him to suffer." I paused. "Well," I amended. "Not too much, anyway."
"You're too worried about everyone else," Jacob repeated. "Worry about yourself for a change."
"I can't. It's ingrained in me. Like a mother loving her child; I just can't not care."
"Yeah," Paul laughed. "That's one of the things Seth loves about you. You care too much. About everything."
"I can't help it," I whispered. Paul pulled me tighter into his side and chuckled.
"Yeah, we know."
"The point is, Summer," Jacob said softly. He was twisting my blanket into little knots. "You just have to reassure Seth that you love him. And it's okay to remember Tyler and your old life, but you have to make up your mind what your future is going to be. No one is going to stop you from going back to Virginia-it's part of who you are, just like La Push is part of us. But you have to decide what you want, and you have to decide soon."
