Forgive Me
Dimitri's POV
It had been ten days…the tenth day in the pits of hell for me…my chest still hurts from the flogging – I couldn't contain a wince at the pain brought about by the slightest movement of my upper body…But, it's nothing; like a single drop of water in the ocean - infinitesimal, compared to the agony in my heart…the guilt, the pain…my angel's still unconscious on the hospital bed, pale as a sheet.
"Your Majesty, she's suffering from a severe case of blood loss, internal bleeding, hypothermia, dehydration, concussion and infections, on top of 5 broken ribs, a punctured lung, a broken wrist and a swollen ankle…there's little the doctors can do. She'll need a miracle even to survive tonight…"
I had yelled, threatened and pleaded; I had gotten every single reputable surgeon in Rarccia to treat my Roza; I had drained 2 litres of my blood for transfusion; I had turned the entire Royal Hospital upside down…but her heart still failed…my heart stopped when I saw the cardiac monitor showing a flat reading…my knees buckled beneath me…
Miraculously though, Roza survived.
All the surgeons claimed that it was her unwavering will power that dragged her back from the gates of hell…it doesn't matter…as long as my Roza lives…
But, she didn't regain consciousness. For ten long days I waited by her side, day and night, hoping against hopes that my angel would open her eyes…My mother had to step in to order for me to be seized and restrained to be treated - I was struggling to get back to Roza's side…
"Roza…Roza…"I chanted, the billionth time now as I held on to her hands with one of mine and stroked her hair gently with the other. All my five senses unaware of anything except the beautiful angel lying before me.
And she stirred…
Her fingers twitched and her eyelids flickered…My heart almost jumped to my throat.
"Roza!" I called more forcefully, leaping onto my feet. "Are you awake? Roza?" I punched the button to summon the doctors.
Within seconds, 3 surgeons rushed in. "I think she's awake." I said, my voice trembling.
The head surgeon quickly produced a penlight which he shone into Roza's pupils. "Yes, Your Majesty, the patient has just regain consciousness. She would need some time to adjust and gather her bearings though."
"Does that mean that she'll survive?" I whispered, praying hard that the answer would be affirmative.
"Your Majesty, all the doctors have been monitoring and examining Ms Hathaway's detailed report carefully for the past nine days, and we have reasons to believe that she will make a full recovery once she'd regain consciousness, although it will be an long and unpleasant process for her. It's truly a medical miracle, Your Majesty."
I nodded, too overwhelmed to respond. With a flick of my wrist, I was again left alone with my angel.
A quarter of an hour later, Roza's eyelid finally flickered open. Her eyes were misty, unfocused, unseeing..."wa-ter" she murmured in a barely audible voice.
Immediately, I grabbed for the pitcher of water on her bedside counter. Filling a cup and plucking a straw in, I carefully brought it to Roza.
She opened her mouth slightly to take the straw, but in the next moment, her unfocused eyes settled on me. In that instant, I knew that she'd recognized me. Roza let the straw drop back to the cup and squeezed her eyes shut, tears escaping her closed lids, body trembling…
I swear a million arrows just pierced my heart. "Roza…Roza…" But no matter how I called, pleaded and begged, she just refused to look at me again…
Eddie and Mason came, and I was driven out of the ward. I wouldn't have budged even at gunpoint, but the calm, emotionless, "ask him to leave" had me automatically out of the door.
Night came, but Eddie and Mason stayed. At some point in time, I fell into a deep sleep on the hard plastic chair outside Roza's ward. I didn't intend to, but I'm only human. After 10 nights of negligible rest – terrified that Roza's condition would deteriorate in my sleep, I'd been in a zombie like state for a long time…
I woke up startled to an earth-shattering thunder - anything less wouldn't have disturbed me. I glanced at my watch…00:34. Eddie and Mason had been with Roza for more than eight hours now. I need to go back to her.
Silently, I opened the door separately me and Roza - to stare at an empty bed…
Rose's POV
An earth-shattering thunder sounded, followed immediately by a heavy downpour. We'd crossed the hospital's precinct and are heading towards the Eastern gates – it'd be closed by now, but Eddie and Mason had promised that they'd fight the guards and patrols for the keys if necessary. I'd begged them to bring me out – out of the Palace, out of Rarccia, out of Dimitri's life…I cannot face him now…I don't even know how I feel towards him. He'd left me on my own, into Victor's hands…it's not his fault, but something still nagged inside me…all the promises he'd made to me…everything he'd ever told me about his love for me…
More importantly though, I'm no longer worthy of him…I must be hideous now and damaged beyond repair…the scars which Victor had inflicted on me…they're never going to fade…and they covered every inch of my body…the searing pain I feel every time I breathe tells me as much…
We'd sneaked out at the struck of midnight, when the hospital and guards are changing shifts, right past a sleeping Dimitri. I'd almost asked Eddie to push me back…he looked so pale, so tired, so disheveled…he cared; he's worried about me…but I'm no longer worthy of him…
We'd taken nothing…we're leaving the Palace just like how we'd first came in – with nothing…nothing except a necklace with a pendant shaped like a Rose and outlined in gold…it was on my bedside counter, right beside the water pitcher…I couldn't persuade myself to leave it behind no matter how hard I tried…
We're taking a long time - trying to evade detection. Security is very tight, but we know the patrol routes by heart. We hadn't been prepared for the thunderstorm though, and within seconds, the three of us were thoroughly soaked.
"Rose, we need to get under shelter and dry you up fast…you're so weak. If you catch a cold on top of it…" Eddie's voice sounded in the dark.
"No Eddie, I want to get out of here as soon as possible. I've survived the worst, a bit of rain won't kill me." I protested weakly, fighting to control the pain from my talking.
"Rose…"
"Please." I pleaded in distress.
"Damn it Eddie, let's just get the hell out of here." Mason's voice erupted, pushing Eddie away to grip at the handles of my wheelchair.
"Roza!" A desperate plea sounded from behind. A voice I'd recognize anywhere…I gasped, dropping my hands onto the wheels, trying to propel myself forward, away from him…to double up moaning in pain at the sudden movement and a broken wrist…
And, a dark shadow appeared in my peripheral vision, a huge shape like a bear, advancing at us at an incredible speed…
In less than 3 seconds, he appeared right before me, towering above my pathetic self, thoroughly drenched.
"Roza, where are you going?" He pleaded, bending down in front of me.
"Home." I choked out even though the thought had barely been formed for less than a fraction of a second in my head.
"Roza, please don't go…you're very weak…stay, if you really want to go back, I'll take you when you've fully recovered…" He gripped on tightly to my chair, clearly without the intention of ever letting go.
I must leave now…I need to get away from him…if I hear his voice one more time…just one more plea uttered through his mouth…my resolve would crumble…I cannot afford that…I'm no longer worthy of him…I'd been disfigured…
Mustering everything I had, saying the words I didn't mean, and will never mean in an eternity, I uttered the greatest lie of my entire life, "I've given up on you." I said softly. "Love fades. Mine has."
The look on Dimitri's face would linger to haunt me until the day I die - the shock, the pain, the disbelief…he slumped onto the ground weakly…
My heart bled, but I chose to look away. He deserves better.
"Let's go." I whispered.
Slowly, the chair moved through the downpour, towards the gates, away from the man I love…
With him out of sight, I let my tears flow freely, letting it blend into the rain, falling invisibly in the dark, disappearing into the ground…
The gates are in sight – the point of no return. Goodbye Dimitri…
Abruptly, my wheelchair was stopped from the front. My heart identified the obstruction even before I could blink away enough tears to see him…
I can never shake him off, can I? There, kneeling straight in front of me, blocking my escape path is Dimitri Belikov; he had his hands around the arm rest of my wheelchair, gripping onto it so tightly that it shook.
"Roza, I know you didn't mean it…you wouldn't have taken the necklace otherwise. Please…I'm sorry…I cannot tell you how sorry I am for leaving you…forgive me…I'd do anything within my power to make up for you…anything…I swear I'll spend the rest of my life redeeming myself…you can punish me in any way you want…as long as it'll appease you…please…just don't leave me…I can't take it…It'll hurt too much…I would rather you kill me. I've almost lost you once; I'm not going to let you out of my life again…Roza, please…forgive me" He stared at me imploringly; his body shaking uncontrollably. I had never seen him so low, desperate; dejected…
You don't understand, Dimitri…it's not you, it's me…
Sometime later, my wheelchair moved, in the opposite direction. I didn't protest…Dimitri was still kneeling in the rain, set like a statue…
Mason's POV
He loves her.
With all his heart and soul.
She loves him too, although she wouldn't admit it now.
I wouldn't have believed that anyone could love Rose more than I do…10 years, we'd been together, first in the US, then in Terki and finally in Rarccia. We hadn't spent a day apart since Eddie and I walked up her doorsteps 10, almost 11 years ago…
I'd pretended not to hear Rose cry just now after she told him that her love for him fades, but I know…the pain's killing her, more than any physical pain she's experiencing…How can I not know? I've seen them together, I've seen how Rose brighten up beside him, how happy she is with him…I'd been deluding myself…Rose loves him, every bit as much as he loves her. And seeing him, the almighty King lowering himself to beg Rose to stay, the tone of his voice, the look on his face…Rose would be better off with him. No, Rose belongs here…they need each other…just like living things need oxygen…
It's time to let go.
Pulling the wheelchair backwards, I then turned it in the opposite direction, heading back to the hospital…
Well, Mason loved Rose...but he's giving her up now :( want to find Mason a partner Any suggestions?
I turned the table around in my chapter as I could never quite forgive Dimitri for "love fades, mine has" so...didn't feel like letting him off too easily. But the pair will make up in the next chapter. Promise :)
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