Still depressed...and have been roped into being a co author/beta for someone else's work. also, in this chap of Good Intentions, I've had people comment on how Optimus is basically planning to rape Sara and want to reassure everyone that that isn't his intention.

At the same time, ya'll need to look at things from a different perspective.

Mechs aren't known to violently sexually assault someone. They would literally rip them to pieces if they did.

And being that Optimus is an very old, alien mech- things like rape- while the information is at his fingertips and easily assessable, he would not understand the horror of it. He could try until he's blue in the face but unless he saw the devastation up close and personal, he still wouldn't understand it.

So- those of you who are upset by his current mindset, please take a few steps back, breathe and thinks for a moment about things from his point of view.

I'm not going to lie and say what he's doing is one hundred percent right. But he thinks it is. And that thought is backed by his instinct to be near his new found mate and to bind her to him no matter what.

With that in mind, there will be times where he toes the line in the sand. And a few times where he may even cross it.

But Optimus is still Optimus. His worries, his concerns, his fears, and his former heartaches or spark aches in this case) will guide him in everything that he does.

So all that aside, don't expect much, just in case. And let's see what our favorite bot does. I think in the end, he really just might surprise you.

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Optimus didn't have a totally good feeling about giving drug laced juice to Sara to drink so that he could do what he needed to do to create a spark bond between them. In fact the very thought of drugging her left a bad taste in his mouth.

It also caused his stomach to tie itself into knots and to feel more than a little bit sickened.

He had heard horror stories about human femmes and what often happened to them when they were drugged. Though he didn't understand as much of it as he would both like/dislike to. And it was with many of those horror tales in mind that he firmly decided against slipping anything in the juice that he was preparing for Sara.

If his femme needed to be well rested and was having trouble sleeping then he would deal with it. But for now, he would leave things untampered with. Placing the orange juice back in the fridge, he picked up the glass and turned to leave the kitchen when he heard a somewhat muffled thump from upstairs, and frowned.

It sounded as if something had fallen.

Moving more quickly than he had ever moved before in his holoform body, he made it across the room and up the stairs in the blink of an eye and then found himself standing outside of Sara's bedroom. Silently listening to the soft sounds within it.

It sounded as if his femme were up. Or...down? Whatever the case may be.

Reaching out, he slowly pushed the door to the bedroom open and peered inside to see that Sara wasn't in bed. No- his dear little femme was instead lying net to the bed half curled on her side, facing away from him.

"Sara?" Optimus whispered, not wanting to disturb her if this was some weird human ritual that he didn't know anything of. When she didn't answer him, he became vaguely alarmed and quickly crossed the space between them and set the glass of juice down on her bedside table as he slowly knelt down next to her and reached out to turn her over and then stopped.

His hand freezing in mid air before coming into contact with her as his mind puzzled over the startling new information before it even really registered with him that his little femme was burning up with fever. Eyes widening once he realized what was going on, he grabbed her shoulder and rolled her over onto her back and felt a sliver of fear snake it's way through him as he looked down at her face.

His beloved femme was ashen, her face and long dark hair damp with sweat, and there was bile coating her chin and the front of her shirt. Her eyes fluttered open for a moment as she took a gurgling breath as he picked her up and then quickly carried her back to her bed and propped her up while he then grabbed a waste basket and put it underneath her face as she began throwing up again.

Her trembling hands coming up from her sides to weakly grasp at the object that she was emptying her stomach into as Optimus carefully collected her hair to hold it back from her face and keep it from being messed up. He figured that he may be a tad bit late in that regard, but he could fix that easily enough once he had established the spark bond with her and she was once again resting.

Finally she seemed to finish puking, at which point Optimus removed the waste basket from her hands and placed it as far away from her and the bed as he possibly could before then going to collect a clean night shirt and a pair of panties and then returning to her side and carefully picking her up again and heading into the bathroom.

He seriously doubted that his femme would try sleeping covered in bile, no matter how miserable she felt at the moment.

The smell of it alone would upset her delicate stomach even more.

Setting her down on the edge of the sink countertop, he quickly went about laying out what he would need to help her bathe- if she needed his help- he doubted that she would truly allow him to help beyond simply wiping her down and running the shower, but he intended to stay in the room with her, even if he had to turn his back on her to allow her some measure of modesty while she cleaned herself up.

Until she bathed though, he would have to content himself with wetting a rag and wiping her pale skin off.

Due to the fever and illness, her awareness of what he was doing was minimized. He wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not, but he was leaning more towards not. However it allowed him to strip her of her shirt and bra without her fighting him. Something that he was grateful for given her condition.

Ignoring the idea of simply staring at her for a moment (he was a hot blooded male in the presence of his chosen mate, after all) he quickly grabbed a rag and wet it with some lukewarm water and then began the task of wiping her off. Starting at her mouth, he quickly worked his way down to the valley of her breasts as he watched the faint flicker of awareness finally show within her dull soft green eyes as she shivered.

From the air or his touch? He didn't know. He was trying to ignore his own wants and needs in lieu of her own. However it was an uphill battle and he was kind of losing.

He could tell by the annoyingly persistent aching and throbbing of his lower body. The sensations there told him that while his mind was attempting distraction, his body didn't give a damn. It was ready to do what he needed to do.

Which was what exactly? It wasn't like Sara was in any condition for coupling of any kind. But then again, Ratchet had mentioned that he wouldn't need to copulate with her to establish a spark bond.

He merely had to bring her to climax.

Which sounded easy enough. He could either use his hands or his mouth on her, or even a combination of both. However he feared that she may be so weak right now that she would pass out on him before he could do so.

Maybe he should wait?

But she was growing weaker. What if he waited too long and she went in for her surgery and never returned? He set the rag aside and grabbed the mouth wash for her. He couldn't allow her to brush her teeth, but he could let her hold the minty mouth wash in her mouth just long enough to kill the taste of her bile.

Once that was done, he grabbed the waste basket between the sink and the toilet and let her spit the mouth wash out in it, and then set it aside again as he quickly collected her in his arms again and then set her on her feet outside of the shower and then straightened his spine and said, "Strip." Causing her to blink owlishly at him for a moment.

He ignored her lack of reaction to his demand and simply busied himself with turning on the tap in the shower and adjusting the water temperature so that she would be comfortable before turning back to her and making a small growling sound.

Blasted femme hadn't moved so much as a muscle to do as he had said. Sighing heavily, he leaned down and slipped an arm around her shoulders to pull her against his torso and then hooked a finger in the waistband of her panties and tugged them down, earning a shocked sounding gasp from his femme before he quickly and gently pushed her into the shower and then handed her the shampoo and then quietly closed the door and then went to sit himself down on the toilet until she got out.

She was in the shower for about ten minutes before she called out to him, and told him that she was starting to feel dizzy. At which point he jumped up and went to get her before she had an accident and fell and cracked her head open or something.

The moment that the water to the shower was off, he wrapped her in the warmest, fluffiest towel that he managed to find and then drug her out of the shower and sat her on his lap while he grabbed another towel to dry her soaked hair, neck, shoulders and face.

"Are you feeling any better now?"

"Not really. Tired."

"Hn. I can imagine." He said gently as he used one hand to push some of her hair off of one of her shoulders so that he could lean in and kiss her there.

"W-What are you doing?" Sara squeaked as she felt his lips against her skin.

"Kissing your shoulder."

"Why?"

"Why not? It's a nice shoulder." He said gently as he let her climb off of his lap and head towards her clean clothing and closed his eyes to let her have some privacy. Though he wasn't exactly sure just how much privacy she really had since he could hear the rustling of her clothing.

Finally the room was quiet and he slowly opened his eyes, as if he were checking to see if she were really done or if she had for some unfathomable reason managed to fall asleep standing up while dressing. Upon opening his eyes, he noted that she was dressed, and leaning against the counter trying to catch her breath.

"You done?"

"Yeah."

"Alright. I'll take you back to bed then." He said as he got back up again and then walked over to her and scooped her up. Strangely, she said nothing at all about him carrying her around like a doll or about how he had taken care of her thus far.

Instead she had simply wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face against the side of his neck and let him do as he pleased.

Once in her bedroom, he hesitated for a moment when he got to the bed. Not wanting to lay her on it if she had accidentally thrown up somewhere in the messy sheets and covers. Especially since she had just cleaned herself in the shower and now smelled normally again despite her fever and illness tainting her normally pleasant scent with something akin to a thunder storm's like smell.

"You didn't throw up in the bed, did you?"

He felt her slight shake of her head in response and sighed in relief. Oh thank god. He thought to himself as he shifted the covers and sheets around so that he could lay her down and then climb into the bed beside her. No matter what happened from this point on, he would not allow his femme to sleep alone this night.

Not after finding her as he had a little while ago.

Laying Sara down on her bed, he took the time to carefully pry her arms from around his neck before nudging her a bit so that she would scoot over for him. Earning a small puzzled look from his femme before she complied. And once she had moved over enough and was curling up to doze back off, she suddenly jerked wide awake when she realized that he was climbing into her bed.

"Optimus-"

"Hush, little one. You're still ill and I will not leave you like I did before."

"B-But-"

"No arguments. I'm just going to lend you my strength and let you use me as a body pillow." It wasn't technically a lie. He had every intention of doing just that. However he knew that she wasn't aware as to just how he was going to go about it.

Come to think of it, he was still sort of stuck on that little detail himself.

He had only had one spark bond to another before, and well to be honest, it had been only a partial spark bond. Something that was incredibly rare among his kind given that a true spark mate was meant to be bonded to one another in life, death and every world beyond so that if one was reborn, the other would be too.

The idea of a true spark bond was what Optimus supposed human's equivalent to a soulmate. Both were born searching for the other, and once found, were bound by a bond stronger than life, death, and even time.

However when he had partially park bonded to Elita, it had been under the pressures and duress caused by his peers. They had felt that since the war on Cybertron was just starting, and spark mates were being targeted, it would be an bad idea to have the only Prime currently living, spark bonded to another that upon being destroyed, could also cause his own death.

They had been right for the most part, but he had figured out long ago that Elita was not meant to be his true spark mate. Which was why he had not followed her in death upon learning of her demise at the hands of his enemy.

He had been enraged by her death. Even sorrowful that she had perished.

She had held such a lovely spark, and such potential. Killing her had been pointless. He had spent much of his spare time over the centuries thinking of her and mourning her- but he had long realized that he did not love her the way that he should have.

He had been in love with the idea of her.

Sara however...he could feel that she was his true spark mate. There was simply an inescapable pull that drew him to her. The more time he spent with her, the more he could imagine their lives together. In a few years, once they both finished with school/college, he would present her with a nice ring someplace- possibly romantic like Paris or something- where he would tell her just how much he both loved and adored her, feed her her favorite foods (with tons of buttermilk ranch dressing, he knew that she wouldn't touch her food without it).

And then take her out dancing someplace nice (not a club, he wanted class not trashy music and strange women in slutty clothing and strange men touching the two of them while he was trying to romance his mate) then he would take her to a nice... something he was still trying to figure out now was if he wanted to buy or rent a cozy vacation home for them to live in half of the year, technically speaking he had the money to do both) where they would curl up in their bed after several rounds of world shattering love making and he wanted the last thing that he saw each amazing night, to be Sara's pretty face.

Just as he wanted to awaken each day and kiss her awake.

And plus he also wanted their kids to be included. He was hoping for at least three or four. He didn't care if one gender wound up being outnumbered by the other as long as each of them were happy and healthy.

And any daughters that they had looked like their mother and never dated anyone while he was still alive and kicking. Literally. That right there was the total package deal to him. The ideal, white picket fence life. It was what he wanted for himself and his mate, and he would settle for nothing less.

Curling his body around hers, he slipped an arm around her middle and pulled her flush with his front and caused her to stir slightly and ask him to talk to her.

Optimus smiled as he settled his chin on top of her head. There was a lot that he could say in this semi perfect moment while he had her in his arms. He could tell her of what he was, or rather who he was- but that would place her in danger if anyone should even find him out. So he opted not to speak of something that could place her life at risk.

So instead he quietly told her of his feelings for her and how deeply they ran. He knew that he had already approached her about a relationship before, but that had been a mere introduction to what was to come.

He was not a being of sedate passions.

He would have died of possible boredom or insanity long ago if he had been. No- he was someone who once a flame was ignited, was consumed by that flame until it turned into an raging inferno.

He kept his voice low as he paused speaking to her to ask her what her thoughts were on the two of them. Needing to gain some sort of permission from her before he went any further. When she made a small humming sound as if she were both still half asleep/thinking over his question before answering him, he was quiet and patient.

Wanting to be able to address any legitimate concerns that she may have about them as a romantic couple. Surprisingly, she wasn't as adverse to them being a couple as she had seemed to be. She just didn't know him too well at the moment and wished to take her time doing that.

Getting to know him.

He had no real issues with that, if it was what she wanted. But he still needed to spark bond with her to help strengthen her body.

So when he asked if it would be alright to touch her- nothing else, he refused to be the sort of male that terrorized a helpless and defenseless femme just to satisfy his own needs. She hesitated for a moment but then asked what he wanted to do to her. Apparently she didn't want it to be a shock or surprise. Or perhaps she simply wanted to know so that he wouldn't be taking advantage of her current weakness.

He wasn't sure which, but he relented and told her in almost excruciating detail what he wished to do to her, and by the time he had finished she rolled herself over onto her back and was looking at him oddly before asking in a distressed tone if she was going to survive this particular ordeal.

He snorted in amusement at her question and leaned down to kiss her softly, telling her against her lips that by the time he was done with her she would feel, much, much better.

And also that she could kick his ass in the morning as long as she was feeling up to it.

Spark boning himself to Sara didn't take nearly as long as he had thought it would. Her body was simply too responsive to his ministrations for it to take as long as he had expected it to. And though there had been once or twice when she had begun to panic and fight the bond, he had been able to calm her easily enough by allowing their sparks to entwine with one another and sooth her fears.

All in all it was a very pleasant experience for them both.

He brought her to her peak three times, screaming his name before she had finally passed out on him. Whereas Optimus himself had brought himself to climax just as many times and upon realizing that his mate had fainted on him, chuckled softly and then lay himself back down next to her and gathered her pliant body up in his arms and cuddled her to his chest as he practically purred with satisfaction.

Finally, Sara was his in every way but the human way.

He would fix that soon enough though, he thought as he slowly dozed off. The exhaustion of sharing his spark with his human mate was finally washing over his senses, causing them all to shut down for the moment.

He just hoped that if Sara decided to kick his ass tomorrow that she decided to do so once he was awake and alert.