February 26, 2010

It had been nearly two weeks since Éponine had ended it with Alex and she felt as if she was plagued with guilt, she could scarcely look at him as he passed her in the halls. It made her feel sick to her stomach, she couldn't handle it, she wanted to apologize but she was so afraid that he would reject it. This thought had been bothering her the entire time, and was why she kept avoiding him, but it was very hard to do so, they shared too many mutual friends. In order for this to work she was going to need to buck up her courage and at least try, Cosette had been bothering her all week to do just that.

"Please 'Ponine," Cosette begged as they were walking to the cafeteria, "you are going to end up worrying yourself sick over this matter."

"I know, it's just I'm so afraid," Éponine sighed, "I really don't think I can do this," she had reverted to not being nearly as confident as she used to be.

"'Ponine, I don't think Alex could ever hate you, and you know how much this is hurting you," Cosette pressed, "please, just go and talk to him, I know I always say that he'll understand, but he does."

Éponine knew that Cosette was right but that didn't make her less afraid of approaching him, "I know," she lowered her head. In her mind she was thinking that maybe she could find him after lunch, all she could do was hope that by the time that came around she would still have the courage to speak with him.

As the bell rang she spotted Alex, she started walking towards him but when he looked up at her she froze, she was barely ten feet away from him and she started walking away.

"Eponine, wait!" Alex called to her and he ran over to her, "did you want to talk to me?"

Éponine felt immensely tongue tied, and she was quickly losing her courage, "I-I... Y-yes," she managed to stammer out.

"What's up," Alex asked, it surprised Éponine just how casual he was being, perhaps this wouldn't be as hard as she thought, maybe they really could still be friends.

"I wanted to apologize, for Valentine's Day," Éponine replied blushing, "and I was wondering if we could still, you know... Be friends?"

Alex's heart felt much lighter but he tried not to let it show, after all they were only to be friends, they weren't getting back together, it seemed she didn't want that. Either way he was greatly relived in this change in the situation, "Sure," he replied.

Éponine sighed with relief, "thank god," still she wished that they could go back to the way they were, but that was impossible. Sure he was accepting her now but there was no way he would take her back after what she did to him. It was best to leave it at this, it was a simple friendship and nothing more, sure it hurt her but what else could she do, she smiled weakly and left the cafeteria for class.

"I talked to Alex," Éponine whispered to Cosette, "we were able to sort of work things out."

"'Ponine that's great," Cosette smiled, "maybe you can get back together eventually-"

"No," Éponine spoke sharply, "that can't happen," she shook her head.

"But 'Ponine," Cosette looked at her friend with wide eyes.

"No 'but 'Ponine's' it's not going to happen," Éponine replied, "I wish it was, but it won't."

Cosette sighed, she knew Éponine was hurting and she wanted to help her, but she felt that the only way that was going to happen was through Alex. "It couldn't hurt to try..." she muttered under her breath so that Éponine could not hear her.

Although Alex wasn't exactly thrilled with his current standing with Éponine he had to admit that it was better than nothing, in fact he was going to make it a goal, as her friend, to learn more about her, see if he could get her to open up. The only question was, how?

"So I hear you are back on speaking terms with 'Ponine?" Courfeyrac sauntered up to Alex.

"You could call it that," Alex shrugged, then in hit him, Antoine could help him, "wait a second, can you help me with something?"

"It all depends," Courfeyrac shrugged, "what kind of mayhem needs to be caused."

"Antoine, I don't need mayhem, I just need to talk to Éponine, get her to open up," Alex explained, "you know a lot about her, don't you?"

"Well not nearly as much as Pontmercy, but either way man, she is your problem, you need to figure it out," Courfeyrac nodded his head.

Alex huffed, "Thanks for all the help."

"Alex, I'm sorry, but this is your battle," Courfeyrac replied.

"You know Antoine you are actually talking sense for once," Alex glanced at his friend.

Courfeyrac started to smile, "Thanks! Hey what?" he processed what Alex had said, "screw you!"

"I would rather you didn't," Alex couldn't help but smirk a little bit at Courfeyrac's annoyance.

"Goddammit, it seems Éponine has taught you a thing or two about pissing me off," Courfeyrac leaned against his locker.

Alex hadn't realized it until Antoine said it that it was something Éponine would have said to get on Antoine's nerves, he smiled.

"So as I was saying before," Courfeyrac spoke up, "I think the only thing you can do is talk to her, it seems you didn't really do enough of it while you were together, you could change that now."

Alex knew that Antoine was right but he still questioned the "how" that needed to fit into the equation, it was complicated. The bell rang for the end of the day and Alex tried to look for Éponine in the parking lot but it seemed she was long gone, his pocket vibrated, he looked at the screen and noticed he had a new text message from Éponine, it said "hey" and that was it. Alex decided to reply to her message, at least she was talking to him even if it wasn't face to face.

Alex: What's goin on?

Éponine: not much, I just wanted to talk.

Alex: you want to call?

Éponine: no, this is good.

Alex sighed, but he knew getting frustrated with the situation would not be a good way of going about this so he just went with it.

Alex: what are you doing?

Éponine: I went to the library, trying to do some research, and failing...

Alex: you need help?

After he hit send he wished he didn't, what if she thought that he was coming onto her? Then it probably wouldn't end well and there could be trouble.

Éponine: that would be nice.

Alex: what are you researching?

Éponine: It's for biology, we all have different retro viruses that we need to research... It's the books they're so dry and boring.

Alex: I can't really help you there, you should probably text lucien or laurie.

Alex then got into his car and started driving home, and his phone buzzed again, he didn't answer it because lately the police had really been cracking down on teens who were caught texting and driving. When he finally got home he saw he had two new messages.

Éponine: I know, I just need someone to tell me to stop procrastinating and get to work.

Éponine: Alex, you there?

Alex: I don't txt and drive, sorry.

Alex: Stop procrastinating and get to work.

Éponine: Thanks :)

Alex: No prob.

Alex slipped his phone back in his pocket as he went to go and tackle his own home work, it was an odd conversation to say the least, but it was better then two weeks worth of silence.

Éponine slammed another biology book closed, she was having very little luck on making her outline on HIV/AIDS and sending that initial text really set her back a bit. Now she was even more distracted then she had been before because her mind was abuzz with thoughts of her ex-boyfriend.

"What the hell did I think I was doing?" Éponine sighed as she leaned back into the chair she was sitting in. She pulled a book on the AIDS epidemic of the 80's and 90's closer to her and started leafing through the pages although she was hardly reading the next. "RNA... Reverse transcriptase... Immunodeficiency..." she sighed, there was no way she was going to get any research done today. She peeked around the shelves until she found Cosette who was researching Human T-Cell Leukemia, "I give up." Éponine declared to Cosette.

"'Ponine we haven't even been here for a half hour, besides yours is relatively easy, there is a ton of information out there," Cosette replied.

"I know..." Éponine grumbled, "but I'm distracted."

Cosette sighed, "is this about Alex?"

Éponine stuck out her lower lip and nodded her head, "I was texting him."

"'Ponine!" Cosette sighed, "you are just making this really hard for yourself aren't you."

"What?" Éponine was getting a little defensive, "I told him we could still be friends."

"But you and I both know that you want more," Cosette was trying to reason with Éponine, "Alex doesn't know that, aren't you the one that told me you seriously doubt he will take you back?"

Éponine lowered her head and blushed a little, "yes..."

"I think we need to find a chance for you and him to actually talk, because as far as I'm aware while you were dating you never did that," Cosette replied.

Éponine knew that Cosette was right, "I guess we just never got around to it..."

"We're going to change that this time around, you have to know things about your friends, otherwise there is no point," Cosette smiled.

"I guess you're right," Éponine sighed.

"You know I am, now get back to work, we have a lot to do," Cosette pointed in the direction from which Éponine had wandered from.

"Yes mother," Éponine grumbled as she went to back to her books.