Chapter 28: Gone forever?!
When Piper got home she fell on her bed and cried. Why did this happen? Drugs? Why of all things had it been drugs? Moreover heroin? Alex didn't know why this point exactly affected her so much, she hadn't told her the story. She couldn't believe that her girlfriend used to do illegal stuff. If it had been that she only took it a few times Piper would have been upset, but eventually okay with it. She would have attributed the drug use to experimental curiosity. But dealing drugs? That was a whole other level. It helped other people destroy their lives. Yes - the users chose to use it. But still it was not acceptable for Piper to support this.
Laying on her bed crying for what felt like ages she suddenly felt so exhausted. She couldn't sleep though, her mind was still too filled with so many questions and she couldn't stop herself from thinking about what Alex had just told her. She tried though however to find out how she felt about all this and what she would do now, knowing that her girlfriend did all those things. Would she be able to forgive Alex that she hadn't told her sooner? Did she not tell her sooner because she was afraid to lose her or scare her away? Would Piper leave the love of her life because she made mistakes in her past? Piper didn't know the answers to all these questions. She knew she loved Alex. But could she forgive her specially with all the things from the past that came rushing back into her memory? She didn't know. She just hoped she could, cause she didn't want to lose Alex. She had a feeling that losing her might hurt even more than hearing the fact that she used to deal drugs.
-Alex's POV-
She still sat on one of the boxes in her café crying. She had no idea how much time had passed since Piper left. Slowly her cries died down. She felt exhausted and like there were no tears left to cry. She still sat there now staring at the wall her head completely empty. She didn't notice anything around her and jumped up when she felt a hand at her shoulder.
"What the …" she yelled.
"Sorry, honey I didn't mean to scare you. I just came by to see if you need help." Diane said, just then noticing the shocked look on her daughters face and the puffy red eyes that implied that she was crying.
"What is today? The day of surprise Alex at work?" Alex was mad but realized none of it was her mother's fault and quickly apologized when she saw her shocked face. "I'm sorry, mom. It's just… First Piper came by and offered for help. And that was great." she could feel the tears coming back "But then Nicky came and Piper left because she heard things and now she's gone. I've lost her, mom. Piper left." Alex fell back on the box and the tears came back. Diane stood there for a second, she was perplexed to see her daughter like this. Even in some of the worst times she had never seen Alex cry. She was one of the strongest people she knew. But seeing her like this was heartbreaking for the mother.
"Shh. Calm down. Slowly tell me what happened." Diane said, now cowering next to her daughter hugging her from the side.
"P-p-iper was helping me sort books." Alex began, her words interrupted by sobs. "She sat on the other side of the shelf when Nicky came in and asked if I'd go to a NA meeting with her." Alex buried her face in her hands while her whole body shook from the sobs.
"Shhh. It's okay. Tell me all of it. Piper heard her ask you?" Diane tried to calm her.
"Yes. She heard everything. Nicky hadn't noticed her sitting there. And when Piper asked why she would ask me to come to a meeting I told her everything. I couldn't keep it a secret. I hadn't told her yet because I was afraid that she would run away and leave me. I was right. She is gone. I've lost the love of my life." Alex cried out.
"I'm sorry honey. I'm sure she just needs time to figure out how she feels about all this. I mean it can come as quite a shock. I'm sure she'll be back. I saw the way you two are with each other. I saw how she looked at you. I know she won't leave. And if she does, she has no idea what she misses out on." Diane told her quietly still hugging her shaking daughter.
"Thanks, mom." Alex said, slowly calming down a little.
"You can't keep sitting here on these boxes. Go home, rest a bit and don't drive yourself crazy. Don't overthink it, honey. She'll be back. She just needs time to think about things." Diane looked at her with so much love written all over her face that Alex immediately felt a little better and agreed on going home.
[Nicky: How are you? How did it go? I'm sorry, I didn't know she was there.]
[Alex: Told her everything. She's gone. I don't know if she'll come back.]
[Nicky: Fuck. I'm so sorry. Do you want me to come over? Drown your worries with some drinks at TLT?]
[Alex: No thx. You've done enough today. Gonna go home and drown my "worries" there.]
[Nicky: You're mad. I get that. I swear I didn't know she was there!]
[Alex: yes. I am. The best thing that ever happened to me just disappeared out of my life. Because someone couldn't get the hint I didn't want to talk about all this.]
[Nicky: A short 'Piper is here' would have helped prevent that. I'm sorry you're hurting, but I don't take the full blame here.]
Alex turned her phone off. She didn't really want to go home and be by herself. But she didn't want company of her mother or Nicky either. So she decided to just hit a bar and go for a drink alone. No way she could go to their mostly frequented bar, too many memories of the few times she'd been there with Piper, even though it was close. She just went into the next one she could find.
She'd been sitting at the bar for a while sipping her drinks slowly and completely immersed in her thoughts when a man came over sitting down next to her.
"You look like you had a bad day. Need someone to lend an ear?" he asked.
"No thanks. Bad day - yes. Talk about it - no." Alex shortly replied.
"It helps. Most times. I had a pretty bad day too. We could help each other out." he offered again.
"So you told your girlfriend about bad mistakes from your past and now she left and you don't know if she'll ever come back?" Alex asked annoyed.
"Uhm, no. That sounds pretty horrible actually." he sat there dumbfounded.
"Yeah well. If yours not worse then I'd like to drown my pain in piece please. Thank you." she really had no intention to keep this conversation going.
"Sorry, I just wanted to help."
"Thank you for your offer but I'm really not in the mood." she tried to stay polite.
One or two drinks later, she had kept ordering drinks with not too much alcohol, she wanted to find her way home, she didn't have a friend to help her if she was too drunk, she decided to go home and if she felt like it get really drunk there. She'd have a short way to her bed and no worries of not getting home alright. She checked her watch and was surprised when the clock showed 11pm already. She slowly made her way back home. She hadn't noticed that she had spent so much time at that bar. When she arrived at her apartment building she slowly walked up the stairs and down the hallway to her apartment. As the light in front of her door was broken the floor in front of her door was poorly lit. But even with the dim light she saw someone sitting at the floor leant at the door and from the body position obviously sleeping. Was that …?
"Piper?" Alex said softly.
I know this was a short chapter, but it will be worth it with the next one.
