REMINDER:

Arthur = Neal's father, Sarah's husband

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In Leagan mansion, London, England

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Sarah came home from work early today.

She checked her watch. Arthur and Eliza will be home soon. They'd come home early too and together they'd go to pick up Neal.

Sarah climbed the stairs, hurried into Neal's bedroom which she had redecorated meticulously following each request her son described in his correspondence - before his letters stopped coming abruptly, more than a year ago.

It's been a while, thought Sarah as she walked about the room, making sure everything was perfectly put. She smiled imagining Neal's reaction when seeing his new bedroom. He probably would grin or perhaps he had forgotten about it and would laugh out loud in surprise. She smiled.

"Mother!" boomed Eliza. entering the room with a wide grin. "We know we can find you here!" Arthur followed behind her. "We're home. Let's go!"

"You think Neal will like his new room?" asked Sarah.

"I'm sure he will. You've been working so hard on it," replied Arthur. He smiled and put his hand on his wife's shoulder.

"The blue bed sheet fits nicely with the furniture. I just wonder why he asked for brown curtains though," Eliza snorted. "Doesn't he have enough seeing khaki* or perhaps the mud!" She giggled.

"But that's what he wrote last year, right? He wanted brown," said Sarah. She looked at her husband.

"Right," confirmed Arthur. "We can ask him why he likes brown later." He waved the letter of appointment in his hand. "We need to go now, darling."

Sarah smiled, anticipation lighted on her face. Arthur noticed. The first time she's like that since more than a year ago or perhaps two since Neal joined the army.

"Happy, dear?" asked her husband, softly.

"Of course mother is very happy," teased Eliza. "We all are."

"It's weird that we have to go to hospital to pick him up, though," said Sarah, nervously.

"Probably for precaution," shrugged Arthur, unsuspiciously. "He's coming from out of the country, you know."

Sarah only nodded. Holding her husband's hand on her right hand and Eliza's on the other, the three of them walked hand in hand to the car and went to the hospital.

The hospital was crowded with the veterans and their families. Sarah and Eliza flinched seeing so many soldiers limping using stick, crutches or pushed in wheelchairs with one or more limbs missing. A corporal greeted them and directed them to the officer line. They were seated on a wooden bench in a long dark corridor with awful smell of antiseptic. All staffs looked tired and overworked.

"Such a long line!" complained Sarah. Eliza grunted likewise.

"It's better that them," said Arthur. He pointed to the non-officer line which was up to the main road.

After some time, their turn arrived. An impatient staff interrogated Arthur to verify information like rank, birth date, and more. Then, she gave a pen to Arthur and asked him to sign pages of forms.

"What is it that I am signing?" asked Arthur.

"Discharge forms." She looked at the clock impatiently. "Just sign!" she barked.

Arthur looked at his wife who was as clueless as himself. He shrugged and signed.

After all forms were signed, the staff opened the final folder. "Now, listen carefully." Her voice monotone. "First Lieutenant Neal Leagan has lost a lot of blood and weight. His right arm and knee are not fully healed and he needs to walk with a stick."

Sarah looked at Arthur, dumbfounded.

"S-stick? Lost b-blood? W-We didn't know that," stammered Sarah looking at her husband.

"Well, it's the fact," the staff said curtly. She continued reading. "Your son wants to be treated like a normal person. Be sure don't treat him out of the ordinary." She looked at them from over her glasses. "A private will take you to meet him."

She shouted for someone and a young private appeared. She nodded to him, seemingly glad that she could get rid of one more family.

"No… wait. I am not done yet. I have questions...," fought Sarah.

"Next!" The staff ignored Sarah.

"Hey-," protested Eliza.

An impatient family members pushed them to get their turn. They were quickly whisked away and when Sarah looked back, their seats were already taken.

The private took them to a dark corner where they saw one man standing leaning on a book shelf. He was looking out of the window.

"Mr. and Mrs. Leagan, your son, Lieutenant Leagan," the private said. He moved forward to give Neal a salute and left.

Sarah, Arthur, and Eliza stood, waiting for Neal to turn around. But he didn't flinch and remained quiet. Three of them looked at one another, puzzled.

"Neal?" Sarah started.

"Mother, father, Eliza," greeted Neal quietly. He turned his head a bit before turning back to stare out of the window.

It didn't feel right. Neal usually ran to hug her. How come he didn't? Sarah moved forward approaching her son.

"Neal." Sarah reached out her hands to hold her son's arms. "How are you d-" To her shock, she found only an empty sleeve in where supposed to be Neal's right arm.

Sarah gasped. She remembered the nurse said that Neal's arm was not fully healed. "Your arm…?" In horror, Sarah squeezed the empty sleeve. Completely forgetting the nurse's advice to stay calm, Sarah stammered, "Arthur... h-his arm..."

"Oh?" Eliza screamed, covering her mouth with her both hands.

Neal turned from the window to face his father, waiting for his humiliating reaction.

"Welcome back, son. We miss you," Arthur said simply. He stepped forward giving his left hand for a handshake.

Neal looked at his father suspiciously but couldn't tell what he actually had in mind. He knew his father well. Even when the worst news hit the company, he could stay calm in front of clients or investors although inside he was anything but.

"Darling," said Arthur to Sarah. "Let's take Neal home first. He must be tired."

Neal picked up his stick that he leaned on the wall. "I'm not tired," Neal grunted and started to limp.

"Oh Mother, Neal is using a stick!" cried Eliza.

"Oh my God...," Sarah whispered. For a moment she was too shocked to do anything and could only stare at his son. His face was pale and hollow, it lost all the tan. He's extremely thin. His eyes were blank and cold almost like unseeing with dark circles around them. "Neal, what happened to you?" Tears began to pour from her eyes.

Neal didn't answer. He looked at his suitcase and then to his father. Someone had to carry that. It's too heavy for his right knee which wasn't properly healed.

Arthur promptly stepped forward to pick up the suitcase.

"No servant?" asked Neal dryly.

"It was too crowded. We didn't take them in. That's alright." Arthur dangled the suitcase handle using only his two fingers. "It's very light." Sarah nudged her husband's elbow. Arthur cleared his throat and glanced guiltily at Neal.

Neal pretended not seeing them and started to limp.

Outside they're met by the driver's assistant, Paul, who gave Neal a pithy look. Neal looked around to avoid seeing his face. It struck him to see that many tall buildings standing and such a large crowd wearing civilian clothes. He looked at them, they looked back at him, staring pithily at his stump and stick. Neal looked at the road to avoid their sickening glance.

"I drive," said Arthur cheerfully. "We all can sit together in one car. How does that sound, Neal?"

"How many cars do you take here?" asked Neal. Behind him, Sarah and Eliza were crying non-stop, disturbingly mumbling pithy comments.

"Two, dear," said Sarah, still sobbing.

"I want to be by myself." Ignoring everyone's stare, Neal looked at Paul, "Take me to one car."

oOo

Less than half an hour later, they arrived at the mansion. Paul swiftly opened the door and extended his arm to help Neal get off the car.

"I can manage," said Neal, refusing the offer.

Putting his weight on his stick and left leg, Neal brought himself out of the car. His family and servants immediately surrounded him offering help.

I don't need help," said Neal. He limped to the front steps.

"Mrs. Leagan, Master Neal could use the kitchen door. It has no stairs there," one servant whispered.

Neal set off to climb the steps, pretending not hearing.

"Poor master Neal," Neal heard when he reached the top of the stairs. He heard sobs.

"Should we move his room to the first floor, Mrs. Leagan?"

Ignoring everyone, Neal limped and disappeared into the mansion. His parents and sister followed and they gathered together in the family room like usual. Two servants soon came to serve a platter of refreshment and tea. They glanced at Neal's stump then quickly looked away pretending they hadn't looked.

"We're happy that you're home, Neal," Sarah said.

Neal nodded.

"Eat something, dear," said Sarah, offering a plate of sandwich to her skinny son. "Your favorite."

"I'm not hungry," Neal answered.

"How did the Germans treat you?" asked Eliza.

"Well."

"Did they starve you?" asked Sarah.

"No."

"What did you do there?"

"Teacher."

"Wow! You were a teacher? They didn't confine you in a cell?"

"No."

Neal heard a hush of surprise from everyone. "So, why didn't you write us any letter?" asked Sarah.

Neal didn't reply.

"Everyone sent best wishes to you," Sarah said, trying a different topic.

Neal stayed silence.

"William had been asking about you. He's in London now. How about having a welcoming party for you this weekend? They have a baby boy and you can also meet -"

"I'm not going to any party," said Neal.

"Oh why not, dear?"

"I don't want to scare them." Neal moved his stump, gestured at his stick.

Sarah didn't reply. That was quick. She didn't even try to argue with him like she used to do. She must have thought so herself, Neal thought.

"I don't want to see William, either," quipped Eliza, supporting her brother. "We can just invite Neal's friends, say, Chris and Sid."

"Yes, of course. Are they back in England, dear? You always said you wanted to invite Chris and Sid here."

Neal didn't reply. He abruptly turned around and looked out of the window. Sarah, Arthur, and Eliza looked at one another.

"Neal, dear," tried Sarah again. "Do you want Sid and Chris to come over?"

"Yes," answered Neal, his voice heavy with irony. "But, they're dead."

Neal heard a gasp from his sister.

"I'm sorry," whispered Sarah followed by a similar mumble from Arthur. She didn't know what else to say but silence simply was unbearable. Neal never stopped talking in the past, eagerly telling her what he's up to. She looked at Arthur.

"What did you teach?" asked Arthur, supporting his wife.

Neal slowly shook his head and exhaled. "It didn't matter," Neal muttered. He struggled to his feet. "I'm tired. I go to my room."

Neal picked up his stick and limped crossed the room to the main hall where stood the grand curvy marble staircase led to the second floor. He stopped, staring at the tall stairway.

"Let me help you, son," said Arthur quickly stood next to his son.

"I don't need help," said Neal sharply. "I can climb stairs!"

Neal turned to several servants who're lingering around the stairs. "Get out!" he barked.

The servants instantly stopped whatever they're doing. In gripping silence they glanced hesitantly at Arthur. Arthur nodded to them. They gave a slight bow and left.

Neal arrived at the foot of the stairs. Balancing himself on his stick, Neal started climbing up, dragging his right leg, a step at a time. Progress was slow. Before long he was beginning to feel out of breath. His stump was throbbing and the pain over his right leg was back making it feel stiff like covered by dry mud.

Mud! Like that in the trench… the no-man's land... the muddy battleground where Sid and Chris fell. He heard those voices again which never quite stop, making him sway almost tumbling down the stairs.

"Let your father hold you, Neal," screamed Sarah as she watched it. She was worried sick seeing her son limping on a stair relying only on a thin stick and with no free hand to hold the railing.

"No!" Neal limped on, focusing back on his step.

Halfway toward the top, just around the curve where the staircase bent and narrowed, Neal misplaced his stick. His half right arm hugged the stair railing just in time to keep him from falling but his stick fell out from his grip. It rolled down with a sickening clatter on the stairs.

"Father, Neal's stick!" Eliza shrieked. She had stopped breathing since the moment her brother hung dangerously with only half arm.

"Oh, Arthur! Hold Neal!" cried Sarah equally tortured.

"I don't need help!" Neal shouted, steadying himself against the railing. Once balanced, he lowered himself to sit on the stair and reached for his stick but it's too far. Frustratingly, Neal stretched his arm farther and farther more than his stiff leg could support. His feet slid and he slipped two stairs down.

"Oh! Father, do something," cried Eliza helplessly.

Sarah couldn't stay still anymore. Ignoring her son's demand, Sarah jumped up the stair to help Neal but Arthur grabbed her arm. He looked at his wife and shook his head. Gently, Arthur pushed her back and quietly climbed up the stairs himself. He picked his son's falling stick and crouched next to him, handed him his stick.

Neal looked at the petty-looking object which his life so dependent upon, very much tempted to scream, break it into two and throw it as far as he could. He hated to use it, he hated everything. But, it's better than asking for help!

With rage, Neal snatched his stick from his father's hand, pushed it on the ground and took several more desperate attempts to lift himself up.

"Let me help you, Neal," Arthur said calmly.

"I don't need help!" Neal yelled angrily.

"Oh brother!" Eliza cried frustratingly. "Why?"

"Neal let your father help you!" sobbed Sarah.

"I can do this!" Neal roared.

"Son," said Arthur patiently. "We know you can." Calmly, Arthur gave his hand. "But, for once lets just do it together. Please..."

Somehow, this time Neal didn't object so Arthur inched closer and pulled him up. Once he was back on his feet, bitterly Neal shook his arm to release it from his father's hold and, without uttering a single noise, he began to climb up the stairs again.

When Neal finally reached the top of the stair, his leg ached so badly and he was so out of breath.

"Father?" Neal called between his breathes, leaning momentarily against the wall to rest his limbs and draw deep breaths. "May I ask you a favor?"

"Of course, son. Anytime."

"If you don't think I'm too embarrassing, can I go to work with you again?"

"Delightedly." Arthur nodded firmly. "I can't be more proud, Neal," Arthur said. His voice steady, his eyes looked straight into his son's.

Neal looked away, didn't believe that was true.

"After things settle down in say, a week or -"

"Tomorrow," Neal demanded. "I want to start tomorrow."

"You should rest, dear," pleaded Sarah, looking at Neal's tired face.

"I don't need a rest!"

"But…," muttered Eliza, looking at her brother. "How would you… Don't you think he should get a wheelchair?" Eliza looked at her mother.

"I don't need a wheelchair!"

Neal picked up his stick and continued limping to his room with his family following behind him. In the doorway, he stopped, looking around to see if he's in the correct place. His room looked different.

"Surprise..," said Sarah, trembling with hope. "Do you like your new room, dear?" She hoped finally she could see something positive shine from her son's frozen face.

Neal stared at the brown curtain and suddenly he smelled acrid scent of explosives and

heard the whiz of flying shrapnels. Chris fell on his machine gun, Sid lay dead in his arms. He came back home alive leaving them alone in the cold mud. Had they found their bodies? Would they ever? Neal almost choked.

"C-could we change the curtain?" Neal whispered. "Now."

"T-to what color?" asked Sarah, dumbfounded.

"Anything but brown," Neal yelled. He banged the door close so his family didn't see him break down and cry.

Eliza's face fell. Sarah started to sob. Arthur pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped his wife's tears.

"He changed so much," sobbed Sarah.

"It can't be easy for him," Arthur whispered gently, giving his wife a hug. "Give him sometimes to adjust, darling."

Eliza watched her mother cry in her father's arms. Her mother had changed so much. She never cried before but these two years she had been in tears. This morning finally she smiled thinking she'd meet her son soon. And now... This?

oOo

The following day, Neal found all his suits were too big for him. Sarah got new sets of suits fitted for him and on the third day Neal started going to work.

"Let me help you with your tie, Neal," said Sarah before Neal got into the car.

Neal didn't reply and let Sarah knot his tie.

"You look handsome, dear," she kissed her son's cheek. Neal saw her eyes glisten.

"Bye, mother," avoiding her eyes Neal limped into the car.

"I'm glad that you're coming with me to work again, son," said Arthur when they entered the Leagan London corporate office.

An elegant young blonde readily leaped up greeting Arthur with the most polished smile.

"Good morning, Mr. Leagan - ," she faltered when noticed Neal who's limping behind her boss.

"Morning, Maddy. My son, Neal," introduced Arthur.

A look of alarm crossed Maddy's face. She gazed at Neal's stick and right arm, then back again. Neal felt lucky that he had learned to toughen himself up while working for months in Germany.

"Mr. Neal Leagan," greeted Maddy, finally. She extended her right hand for a handshake. Neal sticked out his left hand.

"Sorry," Maddy mumbled. She pulled her right hand and changed it with her left hand. "Nice to meet you, Mr. Neal Leagan."

Arthur personally took Neal to his office. It's brand new, much grander than his old office.

"What do you think?" Arthur looked at his son, grinning. He walked to the window and pointed to the next door building. "That building is ours too now. We just acquired that this year."

"Nice!" For a brief second Neal's heart sparked, until he remembered himself.

He always wanted to emulate his father. He's a very accomplished businessman and yet he had a loving and successful marriage, too. Few men could have both. Sadly, he would never be like him because without Candy he would never get married, ever.

Neal felt his eyes getting watery, he was grateful that Maddy came again distracting his father's attention from him.

"Everyone is ready for the morning briefing, Mr. Leagan," said Maddy to Arthur.

They walked there and Neal limped there. Maddy opened the conference room door which already full of staffs. Silence fell as soon as Neal limped inside. Again, people looked him up and down with some didn't bother to even shut their mouth.

"My son, Neal Leagan, is back," said Arthur briefly.

Neal heard some gasp. He looked up and many quickly turned away awkwardly. He was so sure if not because he's the son of the chairman, they would have been staring longer.

"Do you need help, Mr. Neal Leagan?" A man got up ready to lend his hand as Neal limped to his seat.

"No, thank you."

"Would you want a wheelchair, Mr. Leagan?" added someone, trying to be helpful.

"I don't need a wheelchair," snapped Neal.

OOooo

Time moved on. One weekend, Neal was siting in the living room with Eliza, pretending reading when a servant came.

"Master Neal, Ms. Candice Andrew and Sir William are outside want to see you," the servant announced.

"Ask them to leave," said Neal, his eyes never left his book.

"Great Neal," murmured Eliza.

The servant left and came back."Ms. Andrew insisted on coming in, Mr. Leagan."

"You're deaf? I said ask her to leave!" barked Neal.

"She refused." The servants started to sweat and tremble. "I don't' know what else to tell her, Mr. Leagan."

"Tell her I'm dead. Who the hell cares? Just make her go!" Neal bellowed.

The servant trembled, looked hesitant.

"Let me do it," volunteered Eliza, much to the servant's relieved.

"Good…," said Neal, trusted that his sister would do the job well.

Eliza left the room. When Neal heard Eliza's heel echo along the corridor, he limped to the window. Hiding behind a curtain, Neal saw the Andrew's car leaving the mansion.

"Goodbye, Candy," Neal murmured. I love you. This is what best for you.

His chest was in agonizing pain more painful than being pierced by bullets. Neal lifted his right arm to wipe his tears and all he found was a stump, no hand. Neal stopped crying right away. He felt thankful instantly that he asked Candy to leave. She should never see him like this, ever.

Not long after Eliza came back.

"Done. Candy is gone."

"Good job, sis. Thank you."

"You want to know what I told her?"

"No need. I get to go now, visiting some friends."

"Let me call the driver."

"No need. I don't need help, I can use a cab."

Ignoring her shock face, Neal put Sid's diary and Chris' address in his pocket and limped outside.

oOo

-To be continued-

Thanks for reading.

Oooo

*khaki: another way to call British WW1 uniform. The color is like brownish

Arthur = Neal's father

William = Albert. He's married with someone, chapter 5

OOooo

Thanks to my reviewer :

Sabrina: Back to be only you and me ;) We'll be done in around 8 chapters. ABOUT STEAR: I tried to make Stear the soldier appears earlier but i can't figure out how without diverging the storyline too much from Neal! I can't wait to show you how he appears later. I hope you'll be "surprised" by his grand entrance instead of a let down. In manga, he's a WW 1 officer! I had never appreciated its importance until I wrote this story. Thank you.