Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of the characters in Twilight, or anything related to the books and/or movies. If I did, I would be way too busy- doing dirty things with the Cullen boys- to sit down at my laptop and write this story. The scenes that I did borrow from Stephenie Meyer have been revamped to fit my story.
Learning to Live Again
Chapter Twenty-Eight: Compromise
My tears didn't halt when Jasper pulled me into his arms. I clutched to him, burying my head in his shoulder as he carried me up the stairs to our bedroom. He sat us both on the bed and held me while I calmed down with his help. Once I had control over my breathing again, Jasper pulled back and looked in my eyes.
"Bella, I think we need to talk about this, because you misunderstood what I meant when I voted." When I nodded slightly, Jasper continued. "You know that I am in love with you, sweetheart. And in case I haven't made it perfectly clear, I do intend on spending an eternity with you. I don't want this decision to be rushed, though. It is not something to be taken lightly or to be acted upon because you want to look after us."
"That's not the only reason behind my actions, Jazz," I whispered. "I want to be able to start our life together as soon as possible. And I do want to take care of myself and not put you in jeopardy. Hearing Alice's vision, knowing that Victoria is able to get to you is the scariest thing that I have ever heard. It's worse than when I was alone with James. I can survive physical pain, Jasper. I've proved that by being a klutz my entire life. I cannot handle losing the person I love most in the world, though."
"I'm not scared about Victoria hurting me," Jasper rationalized.
"But I am! I know that you're strong and clever, Jasper, but there's never a guarantee when it comes to your safety. I am not willing to gamble with that," I told him. I moved so that I was now sitting in his lap, my legs draped over his and our chests pressed together. "She wants to get to me, baby. And if she's watching me now, then she knows you're the key to that. I couldn't continue living in this world if you were to get hurt because of me."
"Please don't say things like that," he begged me. He moved his hands to clutch onto my hips. "The world wouldn't make sense without you in it."
"Then let's not think about that right now. Let's just think about the best way for me to graduate from high school and separate from my dad without anyone getting suspicious." I was done arguing with him on the specifics of when and where and who concerning me turning into a vampire and joining the Cullens.
"Bella, baby, you won't be able to say good-bye to your father or graduate from Forks with your friends if you turn right now," Jasper explained to me, moving a stray strand of hair behind my ear. "The thirst that you will feel as a newborn will be so intense that you will want to attack anyone within reach of you. You could hurt or kill Charlie before you even know what you're doing."
"But you'll all help me. And I think that it will be to my benefit that I'm making this decision instead of having the lifestyle thrust upon me." I placed my hands on either side of his face, framing the hard features. "I know that I can do this, Jasper."
He leaned forward and kissed me. I responded by opening my mouth for him, pulling him deeper into the kiss. When my need for oxygen reared its ugly head, we reluctantly broke apart from one another. "I have no doubt that you will be an extraordinary vampire with amazing self control, but I am worried that you are taking this too lightly."
"Explain that," I demanded.
"You can never see your family again. You won't ever be able to have children or grandchildren. You will live to watch all of your friends and family members around you die," Jasper stated before pausing for a moment. "The realities are harsh but true, my dear."
"Do you think I have never considered this?" Jasper didn't response so I continued. "I know that I won't be able to have children, but you'll numb the pain. I know that my family and friends won't last forever, but I'll have my own built-in family. And it will hurt to be separated from my parents; however, it would hurt even more if I prolonged the inevitable."
"We still need to plan this out, baby," he said, his tone taking on a serious edge to it. "We need to decide who will be the one to turn you, when we're going to do it, what cover story we'll give to Charlie, and we need to make sure that Victoria won't be ready to attack during this time."
"We'll tell my dad that Alice and I are going on an out of town shopping trip over the weekend. We have a four day weekend from school coming up on Friday, so it would be the best time. Alice can search her visions to see if we can find out any new information on what Victoria's planning and when she's going to make her move." I paused for a moment and leaned forward against Jasper. I threaded my fingers through his hair and kissed my way up his jaw line to his ear. "I want you to be the one to turn me, Jasper. Carlisle can be there in case you need help."
Jasper tensed slightly and pulled his head back to look down at me. "Bella, I am worried that I wouldn't be able to stop myself from taking too much blood. Your scent is still very potent to me, even though I've been able to handle our new closeness with some ease as of lately. Actually drinking your blood would be a whole other story, though."
"Emmett could stand by as well in case you needed to have someone physically pull you away," I suggested. "It would mean a lot to me, Jasper, if you were the one to turn me. I wouldn't want to share that connection with anyone else."
"I'll talk to Carlisle about it and figure something out. I'll do anything to make you happy, darling," Jasper whispered against my neck before dropping a soft kiss there. I squirmed against him, the atmosphere in our room changing with just one simple kiss.
"You make me happy without trying, Jazz," I answered back before planting a full-on kiss on his unsuspecting mouth. In just one second, our hands and mouths were exploring each other. I wondered if it was true what people said about make-up sex. I was anxious to find out with Jasper.
Before we could divest each other of any clothing, the door to our bedroom was opened and Carlisle stood in the doorway. Our heads turned to see who had interrupted us, and I swear Carlisle would have been blushing if he was able to. "I'm sorry to bother you, but Esme and I were wondering what was decided."
"Of course," Jasper said. I untangled myself from his lap and stood from the bed. Jasper stood beside me and his arm unconsciously wrapped itself around my waist. It still amazed me how our bodies naturally sought out physical contact if we were in the same room with each other, not that I was complaining.
"Bella has decided that now is the time for her to be changed. She has a four-day weekend coming up from school, so it would grant enough time for the process. We'll tell Charlie that she and Alice are going out of town on an extended shopping trip," he explained.
"That's a good idea," Carlisle praised us. "I don't have to go into the hospital on Friday, so I'll do a quick hunt in the morning and then come home."
"Actually, Carlisle, I was thinking that I would like Jasper to be the one," I said. Jasper tensed next to me, and I turned to curl against the side of his body and held his hand.
Carlisle seemed surprised for a moment but nodded. It was easy to understand that something so intimate should be shared among mates. "Of course, Bella. Jasper, is this okay with you?"
"I want nothing more than to make her happy for the rest of eternity," was his simple answer. "I would like to speak with you first, though. And I would want Emmett to be there just in case I couldn't stop myself."
"Yes, that's good. You two have thought of everything then," Carlisle said, proud that we were able to see past our different views and make the decision together. I truly was his equal.
"There is still the matter of Victoria, though," Esme's voice joined our conversation as she walked up behind Carlisle. "What are we going to do about her?"
"We can have Alice be on the look-out for any news that will help us. The pack will continue to track her for us if we ask. They don't want her in Forks, especially after what happened the last time she visited," I explained.
"That leads me to another question." Carlisle's voice was hesitant, as if he didn't want to break some bad news to me. "We still have the treaty with the wolves. Once we turn you, the treaty will be broken. We would have to leave Forks."
I stilled at the thought. I was really anticipating having enough control as a newborn to be able to finish school here and to have some time to say good-bye to my father. I hadn't thought about the treaty once yet.
"I'll need to speak with them," I decided. "I'll make them see my point of view and ask for this one exception."
"It's too dangerous for you to be around new wolves, Bella," Jasper started to argue.
"You mean the same wolves that are protecting my father right now," I countered. Jasper smirked down at me and didn't further that argument. I reached into the pocket of my jeans and dialed Jacob Black's phone number for the second time that day. "Jake, I need you to meet Jasper and me at the territory border right away. Nothing is wrong, but I need your help again."
I disconnected from the phone, not waiting for his response. I knew that he would meet us there. Jacob would do anything I asked of him; I just hoped that he would be as supportive of me once he knew that I had decided to be turned into one of his enemies.
Jasper- having sensed my uneasiness- rested his hand on the small of my back and sent me calming waves to ease my tension. "It won't do you any good to worry yourself, dear," he whispered to me as he kissed my cheek. I smiled up at him before we both took a step forward to leave the comfort of our room.
Carlisle and Esme started explaining our plan to the others as we walked outside and got into Jasper's car. I was going to be happy when this day was over. The drive to the reservation didn't take very long, but it felt like it took ages to arrive. Jacob was standing at the border, waiting for us.
