I managed to write one more! Enjoy!

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28. The Real Deal

Elliot and his friends had been at the Saloon for about twenty minutes when he saw Kathy and Olivia coming in. He was slightly relieved that Nick wasn't there tonight. It was his last night in town and he wanted to enjoy it without feeling like he was being chaperoned. The women walked over to where the men were sitting and introductions were made. Elliot got everyone a drink and when he came back, his friends were already asking Kathy all kinds of embarrassing questions about Olivia. He knew it was what they did when they accepted someone, and he winked at Olivia when she glanced at him. He hoped she would understand that his friends' teasing was because they really liked her.

He made sure to tell her when he finally had a few moments alone with her on the dancefloor but she laughed and told him she knew.

"You have great friends, Elliot. I hear that the company a man keeps says a lot about him."

Elliot pulled her a little closer, swaying in time with the slow song they were dancing on.

"So what does it say about me? What have you found out about me so far?" he asked her softly.

Olivia leaned her head against his shoulder and he could feel her relax into him.

"I think that a guy with friends like those two, has to be a good guy."

Elliot rubbed his cheek against her forehead before placing a soft kiss there.

"I am Liv. Trust me."

She was trying. She really wanted to trust him but she dreaded the moment he would have to leave. Suddenly, the idea of going to New York with him didn't sound as ridiculous as when Kathy had first suggested it. But he hadn't asked her to come. Yet. She pushed the restless thoughts out of her head and decided once again that she should enjoy this last night with Elliot.

When a more upbeat song started and Elliot began leading her away from the dancefloor and back to their table, she grabbed his hand and pulled him along in the opposite direction instead. Elliot's eyebrows shot up in surprise but he followed her willingly to a quiet area behind the dancefloor. A few couples were making out back there and Elliot caught on quickly. He grinned when she pushed him up against the wall, and when she crashed her mouth over his, he responded immediately.

She drank in the feeling of his muscular body against hers, the taste of his lips and tongue and the way he held her and caressed her while they kissed. No man had ever made her feel like this by just kissing her. She had known when he kissed her behind the waterfall. They had an undeniable connection. When Elliot turned them around and pushed her against the wall instead, she didn't even mind. She knew she was safe and he would never hurt her. Even if he dragged her outside and to his hotelroom, she would still know she was absolutely safe with him. He wouldn't force her to do anything she didn't want to do. And she knew she wouldn't resist. She wanted it all with him. She was falling very hard for him.

When they finally broke apart, Elliot could see that Olivia was surrendering to him. It was up to him now to make sure she didn't do something she'd regret. He placed his hands next to her head against the wall and leaned in to ask her softly,

"Are you okay? I mean, is this all okay?"

She snaked her arms around his waist and pulled him closer, until the proof of his arousal pressed up against her body.

"Yeah," she said with a smile, "this is all okay."

"I don't wanna rush things," he told her, ignoring how his body was screaming at him to take things further. "I want the real deal, Liv."

She was silent then, and he pulled back a little to look at her. She blinked quickly and he wondered if she'd gotten emotional. She flashed another smile though, and placed a hand against his cheek, turning him to mush once again.

"I want that too, El. But right now, I just want to be alone with you."

They left the Saloon after checking in with their friends. Olivia felt a little guilty for leaving Kathy behind but her friend assured her it was fine. She just smiled at her and told her to have fun. Once they were outside, Elliot took her hand in his and they walked for a while. He hadn't asked her where she wanted to go, and she had just assumed they were going to his hotelroom. But right now, they were walking in the opposite direction. She glanced at her handsome companion, wondering what exactly 'the real deal' entailed for him. She had kind of expected him to want to have sex tonight but Elliot seemed to be deep in thought.

"What are you thinking about?" she finally asked him.

He sighed and admitted,

"I don't want to leave tomorrow."

She sighed as well and looked down at their feet while they walked. They were moving completely in sync and she liked it. But there was a sadness looming because he had to leave again.

"I wish I could go with you."

She had said the words out loud before she realized it, and her eyes widened in shock. She looked at Elliot, who had stopped walking and was looking at her with a big smile on his face.

"Could you?" he asked her hopefully, and her shock gave way to a different feeling.

Panic.

"No," she said quickly. "No, I can't. Not on such short notice."

"Okay, so when?"

She blew out a breath slowly and started walking again. After leaving the Saloon, they had strolled to Lake street and they were now heading towards the lake. The snow had melted again and the streets were clean enough for a longer walk now. The moon was even peeking through the clouds from time to time so it wasn't too dark to be at the lake.

"You really want me to come to New York?" Olivia asked after a minute.

Elliot laughed. Was that even a question?

"Of course I do, Liv. I want to show you my life, and show you off to my friends and co-workers. I want this to work, Liv. I'll come out here as often as I can, but if you could come over too from time to time, that would be even better."

Olivia was struggling. She wanted to believe every word Elliot was saying to her. He'd make the long drive for her again if he had to. But hadn't things with Dean started off exactly the same way? He had treated her like a princess, going along with all her wishes, for a while. But after a few weeks, that had changed. Actually, it had changed after she had started sleeping with him. He had become more demanding. By then, she had been willing to do anything for him. She didn't want to lose herself like that to a man again but she felt the same reflexes kick in when she was with Elliot. She wanted to please him. Keep him happy so he wouldn't leave her. But Elliot was going to leave again. Not like Dean had left, breaking off all contact, but he was going back to New York and she wouldn't see him for a long time. After tonight, she'd be alone again. She would still have her friends and her life like before, but she knew that she'd feel alone as soon as Elliot had left.

And that was what had terrified her all along. Not feeling whole without someone else. It gave him power over her, whether he wanted that power or not. She shouldn't need someone else this much, and certainly not someone she hardly knew. Running after him to New York wasn't the answer. She should be able to stand on her own and not become dependent on another person again. That was why her feelings were all over the place, ranging from feeling safe to sad, from to desire to panic and fear, and back to feeling safe whenever he touched her.

Elliot wrapped his arm around her shoulders and they walked in silence for a while, until they reached the lake. He seemed to understand that she wasn't going to set a date for a trip to the Big Apple right now. They stopped and Elliot pulled her close to him, wrapping both arms around her shoulders. Olivia put her hands on his waist and leaned against his chest, looking out over the partially frozen lake. She wanted to enjoy these moments with him, but all she could think about was how he was going to be gone tomorrow.

"What are you thinking?" Elliot asked her, his lips brushing her cheek while he spoke.

She forced a smile and avoided looking at him directly.

"Nothing."

"Bull."

"What?"

She looked up at him, a little shocked.

"Hey, if we're going to be a thing, I'm gonna be honest with you and call you on your bullshit, Olivia," Elliot told her, and she could tell he was serious.

It was new for her. Nobody ever talked to her like that, except Kathy.

"So tell me. I know it's not nothing, because I could feel you tense up just now. Are you freaking out because you're actually feeling something between us? Does that scare you that much?"

Olivia was torn. Part of her wanted to step back and put some distance between them. To shield herself from him. From feeling him. From having feelings for him. But another part wanted to stay exactly where she was and not ever be away from him again. She stayed in his arms and thought maybe it was best to just answer his question. She took a deep breath and nodded.

"Yes. It scares me that much."

Elliot groaned softly and dropped his forehead on her shoulder.

"What can I do?" he asked her, not looking up at her.

"Nothing," she whispered. "It's me. I … I guess that as soon as there are feelings, I feel like I do have something to lose."

Elliot held her a little tighter.

"Not just you, Liv. Me too."

Olivia rested her head against his.

"Doesn't that scare you El? Like you could lose a piece of yourself along the way?"

He lifted his head slowly and she did the same so they could look at each other. While they were being completely honest, he was going to be as well.

"The only thing that scares the shit out of me is if you give up on us before we've even tried to make this work."

He could tell that his words were coming in loud and clear but he wasn't finished.

"I know you were hurt, badly. But that wasn't me Liv. I'm not that guy and I can't prove that to you unless you give me a chance."

He had spoken from his heart and hoped he wasn't scaring her away. She was moving away from him, turning towards the lake and they stood side by side, not touching, while he gave her some time to digest what he'd said. He worried that she was going to rethink continuing dating him after all once he'd left. Couldn't she see that these feelings were a good thing? That it meant that they truly meant something to each other?

"I know I have to leave tomorrow but we are going to stay in touch now, right?" he said after a minute. "We can talk on the phone until we see each other again. It's not like there will be complete radio silence for three months like before."

"I know," Olivia whispered, but he wasn't convinced that she was convinced yet that things would work out between them.

"You're right," she said then and she looked at him. "You're not him. In fact, you're nothing like him." Please don't be like him! "I thought I loved him but the more I think about it ... the more I see that he never loved me. He only loved himself."

Her chin trembled and Elliot put a hand on her back tentatively. She tried to smile but she couldn't stop a tear from sliding down her cheek.

"He's an idiot for ever letting you go," he rasped and she knew he meant it.

He really wasn't like that. He couldn't' be. Elliot wiped away her tear gently and kissed the corner of the eye it had come from.

"I know I have to go back to New York, but I'm not letting you go, Liv. Not until you tell me to take a hike. I'm in for the long haul."

He wasn't sure if he was coming on too strong now, but he felt that she should know where he stood before he had to go. Olivia blinked a few times and looked at him then.

"How can you be so sure?" she asked him softly. "Maybe you'll grow tired of me after a while."

"Never."

"How do you know? How do we ever really know that about anyone?"

Elliot put his hands on her shoulders and turned her towards him so she was facing him. This was the moment of truth.

"Olivia Benson, I can't explain it, but I know. This is it. You're it for me. I just know it. I …"

He took a deep breath and when he saw fresh tears brimming in her eyes, he knew he had to say it.

"I love you."

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A/N This really was the last one before my move. Please review!