Author's Notes: Please don't hate me.


The city is veiled by a thick cloud of smog that obstructs her view, making it difficult to see the stars above her head or even the people on the streets below. She sighs, pulling away from the telescope and slowly pacing. She hasn't been back to this place since before her and Delphine were a couple. She wishes she could have returned on better terms, but then the terms rarely seem to be her own these days. She leans over the rail, her stomach fluttering as she tries to keep her face straight. The minutes are ticking down, she doesn't have much time left and she wonders if the doctor will make it. When she hears the heavy doors swing open, instead of smiling in relief, her lips become an even straighter line and the muscles in her stomach tense/

"Cosima?"

Delphine approaches her from behind, though the clone doesn't bother to turn around to greet her. She continues leaning over the rail, trying to make sense of what's going on beneath them. She doesn't need to see Delphine's face to know that she sports a look of pure confusion.

"Why are we here, Cosima?"

She can sense that something is wrong. The clone's text had been urgent and cryptic, demanding that they meet at such an odd yet familiar location. She slots herself next to Cosima, leaning on the rail, as well, trying to read the brunette's expression. She would reach out for her, but there's a strange energy in the air and she has the feeling that the shorter woman wouldn't be very receptive.

"Do you remember when we came here before?" Cosima asks.

She smiles for the first time that night, but she still doesn't turn to face her lover, keeping her eyes fixed on the shrouded street below.

"I always sorta considered that our first date, even though we weren't together or anything."

It seems so long ago and yet, she still remembers the feeling so well. They had almost kissed that night and just being that close to Delphine had her floating, soaring. In that moment, she knew without knowing that she was in love. Even with that knowledge, she still never could have imagined that circumstance would have brought them here, to this point on this night.

"Cosima?" Delphine asks, more confused than before.

Why the sentimentality?

Cosima grips the rail with white knuckles, frowning. There's no way to avoid it now. Like ripping a bandage off, it's best to do this quickly. There's no time to sugarcoat, no time to ease Delphine into this conversation. They've wasted it all, greedily eating up all the seconds of the day, so foolishly certain in the knowledge that there would always be more waiting for them.

Except here they are.

"I'm leaving, Delphine."

Delphine takes a step back, baffled. Cosima turns her head to spy the blonde's reaction out of the corner of her eye; she looks as though she's been punched in the gut, stunned and breathless, like a mother whose child has just been ripped from her arms.

"Leaving? Where? For how long?" she fires off, her voice trembling and eyes wide with panic.

"I don't know yet," Cosima tells her. "But... I don't think I'll be coming back."

Delphine shakes her head in silent protest, words failing. Reality comes rushing in all at once and it's too much for her to handle. Everything she's done up until this point has been to keep Cosima safe and with a single sentence, the clone has managed to shatter it all. She knows there's no place Cosima can go to escape DYAD, that running will only put an even bigger target on her back.

"Cosima, please-"

"I want you to come with me," Cosima bursts, interrupting her girlfriend before she has a chance to try to talk her out of it.

It hadn't been an easy decision for her to make but she'd made it, all the same. Delphine seems just as startled by the request as she did by Cosima's initial confession and Cosima can tell that she's uncertain, that she doesn't have an answer just yet. She's determined to give her one.

"We don't need DYAD, we don't need any of this bullshit!" Cosima says, pushing away from the railing and becoming impassioned. "Let's just go, Delphine! Just the two of us! We could do it if we really wanted to!"

Delphine's brow furrows, her lip trembles. Cosima steps closer, reaching for her. She finds Delphine's hand and strokes it gently, hoping to sway her. She knows what she has to do, but she doesn't want to do it without Delphine. As hard as it is for her to pack up and go, she knows that if the blonde is with her, she can make it work. She'll survive somehow.

"This is a bad idea, Cosima," Delphine whispers, her eyes tearing.

"I'm out of time. This is the only choice I have now," Cosima answers, her voice quiet.

Delphine gives her hand a firm squeeze, then reaches for the other one. They stand like that, in the exact same spot where they'd stood so many months ago, where they'd smoked a joint and laughed and fallen for each other just a little bit more.

"It's not," Delphine says softly, meeting her gaze. "You could stay and we could fight."

Cosima shakes her head in disagreement, pulling her hands away.

"Rachel made it pretty clear that things'll get ugly if I don't give up Sarah- which is never gonna happen- so now's my only chance to make a clean exit."

"Rachel?"

Delphine watches as Cosima paces. She waits for Delphine's response, considers the undesired answer. Can Delphine say no? Will she? If she feels the same way Cosima does, there's no way she'll say no... and yet, the blonde remains conflicted as her eyes follow her girlfriend back and forth, back and forth.

"Will... are you gonna come with me or not?" Cosima asks again, halting.

Delphine stammers, unsure of how to answer. She's trapped by the question, trapped by her feelings for the woman standing before her- the woman she loves- begging her to abandon everything they know and live a life on the run.

"It's not that simple, Cosima," she says.

Cosima's eyes narrow.

"It's very simple, actually. You're either in or you're out."

"Running away isn't the answer," Delphine tries to reason. "If you stay, we can figure something out together."

She approaches Cosima again, reaching out to cup her face. The clone shrugs her off, stepping out of her grasp. She blinks a few times, trying to fight back the tears. She knows the blonde's answer now and if she allows herself to linger, to cling to the warmth and comfort, she might lose her nerve.

"I've already made up my mind, Delphine. With or without you."

Anger flashes red in the European's eyes, a way to ward off the sense of impending doom she feels in her chest. She can't let things go down like this, she knows that she needs to convince Cosima to stay for both of their sakes.

"Do you really think there's somewhere you can go that DYAD won't be able to find you?" Delphine asks.

The question catches the brunette off guard and anger fills her, too.

"Is that a threat?"

Delphine sighs angrily.

"No! Not at all! I'm just saying that your plan is unrealistic!" she clarifies. "It would make more sense to stay and fight from the inside! You could do more damage that way!"

"This isn't about doing damage, Delphine!" Cosima bites back. "This is about survival!"

They stare each other down, just as they always do when they find themselves in another one of their inevitable arguments. In that moment, Cosima finally comes to accept that the arguments are never going to end, that their views and methods are just too different. Delphine will simply never understand, only her sisters will. She swallows the jagged pieces of her heart that have somehow made their way upward and lodged into her throat, trying not to grimace as they scrape and cut on their way back down.

"You're not coming with me, are you?"

The words are more of a whimper than anything else and when she searches Delphine's eyes again, the blonde's gaze is needy and desperate and tearful. She pleads with Cosima, but just as the clone realizes that their arguments will never relent, the doctor realizes that neither will her lover's stubbornness.

"Cosima, I can't," she tells her. "The work I do- the work we do- is important. I can't walk away from that."

There's a mountain of research waiting for them back at DYAD. People are dying. Cosima's people are dying. How can she walk away from that? It's up to them to find a cure and without DYAD backing them, that will never happen. Without DYAD, Cosima has just as good of a chance of falling victim to it herself. What good would running do then?

"You can't outrun your biology," Delphine whispers, hoping to appeal to her scientific mind.

Cosima's breathing falters, her legs nearly give beneath the crushing weight of her decision, but she turns away and heads for the door.

"Cosima!" Delphine calls out to her.

"I'm gonna go," she mumbles.

"Cosima!"

Delphine darts forward, catching her arm. Cosima is quick to pull it away.

"Don't," she warns the French woman.

"Please don't leave me," Delphine begs.

Cosima rushes away, pushing through the door and waiting until she's on the other side before she releases a loud sob. She doesn't bother stopping, doesn't bothering looking back to see if Delphine is following her. She allows her feet to carry her on autopilot until she's as far away from the wreckage as possible. On the roof, Delphine collapses to her knees and buries her face in her hands.