Chapter Twenty Eight –Only You Can Love Me This Way

Nathan laughed loudly as Jamie read him The Cat in the Hat. He was laid out on his stomach as Jamie sat a few feet away from him with the book in his hands. They were surrounded by blankets all around them in a fort they had built last night. He listened intently as Jamie continued. He wondered what Haley was doing upstairs alone.

He missed her last night. She had gone up to bed alone while he had a guys' night with Jamie. It was the first night since he had moved in that they hadn't slept together. It felt weird not holding her while she slept.

Jamie closed the book and grinned. "All done. How did I do?"

"Great," Nathan replied proudly. "You're really smart."

"That's what Momma says."

"You take after her," Nathan chuckled. Jamie certainly wasn't smart because of him. He was all Haley. Nathan was glad. He didn't want Jamie being like he was before the accident. Jamie was better than him and he would make sure that Jamie had a better life than he did.

"What do you want to do now, Daddy?"

He grinned. "I want to talk to you about something, buddy."

"Ok."

Reaching over, Nathan picked up his jeans lying on the floor before reaching into the pocket. He pulled out the small black box before tossing his jeans back aside. He moved his body closer to Jamie's before opening the small box and showing Jamie the ring inside.

Jamie's eyes got big. "Whoa, treasure."

"You like it?"

"It's nice," Jamie muttered. "But it looks like something Aunt Brooke would like."

Nathan chuckled. "It's for your mom, ya dork."

"Oh."

"Do you think she'll like it?"

Jamie nodded. "Uh-huh."

"How would you feel if I asked your mom to marry me?"

"Ok, I guess," Jamie shrugged. "Why?"

Nathan chuckled once again. Jamie was something else. "Because I'm going to ask your mom to marry me."

"Why?"

"Because I love her and I want us to be a family."

"Like Aunt Peyton, Uncle Jake, Jenny, and JJ?" Jamie questioned curiously.

"Just like that," Nathan answered with a grin.

"And you'll live with us and you won't leave ever again?"

"Never," Nathan nodded. "This is home now, James. I'm not going anywhere. I love you and your mom very much."

"Sweet," Jamie grinned. "I want you to live here forever, Daddy."

"So, is it ok that I ask your mommy to marry me? I know that you've been the man of the house for a while now and you've been taking care of your mom. I want to make sure that it's ok with you. I want to make your mom happy and I promise that I won't hurt her…either of you. This is going to change things for you, too, James. So what do you think?"

Jamie nodded eagerly. "You can marry Mommy."

"You sure?"

"Yep," Jamie grinned. "Does this mean that I'll get a brother?"

Nathan chuckled. "Let's take one step at a time, huh? We'll worry about that later. Now, you can't say anything to your mom, ok? I want this to be a surprise. Can this stay between us?"

"Uh-huh."

"Good man."

"Now, can we play?"

"Sure thing," Nathan grinned. "Whatever you want, Jimmy Jam."

"Let's go play basketball, Daddy!"

"You got it, little man," Nathan stated as he pushed himself up. He saved the ring back into his jean pocket before placing them on. He then crawled out of the fort with Jamie right behind him. Jamie took off to the back door with his space pajamas still on. Nathan chuckled as he followed him.

~***~

The weather was cool as she glanced down the beach. They had been out here all afternoon. It had been a tradition for years and years. Every forth of July her whole family would get together with the Bakers and have a huge party at the beach. Her dad would barbeque, the guys would play football while the girls gossiped, and when it got dark Julian and Jake would set off the most beautiful display of fireworks she'd ever seen. Each year they would surprise her with something new.

This year was different though. She smiled as she watched Nathan chase Jamie down the beach. It was different because he was here this year. Nathan. Just the thought of him had her heart racing. After suppressing her feelings for so long it was good to feel this way. Happy. More happy than she ever had been in her whole life.

Nathan loved her and she loved him back. He had given up basketball to move down here and be with her and Jamie. Even though she hadn't asked him to do that, she was still glad that he did. He lived with them now and that made Jamie so happy and her so happy as well. It was like they were a real family.

"What's with the huge smile, Hales?"

She glanced at Brooke. "Nothing. Just happy."

"Of course," Brooke nodded.

"Slow down Jake," Lydia shouted.

The sight of Jake shoving a hotdog down his throat was one of the funniest things she had ever seen. He glanced at them guiltily before pushing the rest of the hotdog into his mouth like it was nothing. He smiled with his mouth full before washing it down with a bottle of beer.

"He's such a pig," Brooke declared.

"Don't talk about my husband that way," Peyton told her.

"Call 'em like I see 'em!"

"Bitch!"

"Whore!"

"Play nice," Haley giggled.

"I'm so happy that the kids can't hear," Lydia announced.

Haley agreed with her mother. Jenny was building a sandcastle away from them and the boys were with the guys playing football. Haley stood there next to Brooke as she glanced around at everyone. They all looked so happy. It felt nice to have everyone in her life so happy.

"Do you think Deb will like all of this?"

Haley glanced at the plate of food her mother held in her hands. Her mother had fixed a little bit of everything in it. She wanted to laugh at how much food she fixed but didn't. She was sure that Deb would like most of the stuff. She nodded with a smile.

"Yep."

"I'll be back."

Her eyes followed her mother until she made it to Deb and Julian's mom. They were currently sitting in the sand talking. She was glad that everyone seemed to like Deb. She wanted Deb to feel comfortable with all of her family. It was like they were all family now and she was glad that everyone was getting along. Everyone really liked Deb.

"This potato salad is so good!"

"My mom makes the best," Peyton said as she glanced at Solaris.

"I agree," Solaris nodded before taking another huge bit.

"Aren't Supermodels supposed to like starve themselves and hardly eat?" Peyton teased.

Brooke rolled her eyes. "Keep eating, girl."

"I plan to," Solaris smiled before eating another bite.

"Mom, can I have another sparkler?" Jenny asked.

"Here you go."

"You having fun?"

"Yep!"

Jenny took off running with the sparkler lit. When she reached the sandcastle she stuck the sparkler in it before yelling for her grandpa to take a picture. They all laughed as they watched her.

"Well this is new," Brooke announced.

"What?" Haley wondered.

Brooke pointed and Haley followed her gaze until she noticed Julian and Nathan tossing around the football. She stood there frozen as she watched the two of them laughing along with each other. Was she really seeing things clearly? Were they really getting along? She opened her mouth to ask but the words stayed inside. She was in complete shock. She knew that they weren't fighting with each other anymore but she didn't know that they were…friends?

"They're like totally BFF," Peyton joked.

"So, are they like friends now?" Brooke questioned.

"It looks like it."

"Since when did they decide to play nice?"

"Who knows with them?"

"Well, I think it's nice," Lydia declared. "Don't you agree, sweetie?"

She nodded distractedly as she watched. "Uh-huh."

"Don't act so surprised," Brooke muttered. "Nathan's been completely different lately. Of course that means he's friends with Julian now. You turned that bad boy into a reformed bad boy." All the girls laughed but her. She couldn't help but continue to gaze at Nathan and Julian.

"I just didn't expect this so soon," Haley breathed. "I thought it would take time."

"We all did," Peyton shrugged. "What the hell did you do to that boy?"

She glanced at her sister. "Nothing."

"Right," Brooke chuckled. "I went over the other day to see if she wanted to go shopping and I heard them doing nothing in her bedroom. I'm just glad that Jamie was playing over with Julian."

Her face instantly flushed as she glared at Brooke. Of course she knew what Brooke was talking about she just didn't know that Brooke had gone over and heard them. She was completely mortified as the girls started laughing. She didn't know what to say. She thought they had been all alone.

She shook her head. "We were talking." It was the first thing that came to her mind.

"Well, you certainly were agreeing with him a lot," Brooke chuckled.

"Haley James," Peyton teased.

She continued to shake her head. "It was…I…"

"Oh sweetie, don't listen to them. It's about time you get some," Lydia spoke up before all the girls started laughing harder. It only seemed to make her face more red as she noticed her mom looking at her. She was going to kill Brooke for this.

"What's so funny?"

She noticed her father walking up to them. "Nothing," she rushed out. "Nothing."

"The next batch of burgers are almost done if you want to get the bowl ready."

"I'll be right there."

She watched as her parents walked away from them. It was only then that she turned to glare at Brooke. Brooke shrugged innocently and it was only then that she tossed a handful of sand at her.

"I'm going to kill you," Haley declared.

"What?" Brooke giggled. "Lucas and I do it all the time."

"You have nothing to be ashamed of," Peyton smiled at her.

"Yep, I'm sure you guys are just making up for lost time," Solaris added.

She continued to glare at Brooke. "I want my key back!"

"No way," Brooke chuckled.

"I'm going to get you back for that," Haley announced minutes later.

"I'm sure you will," Brooke grinned wickedly.

Peyton and Solaris went back to talking about her job and she went back to watching the boys play football. She needed a moment to collect her thoughts. She wanted to pretend that the last five minutes didn't happen. She would have to change the locks if she wanted any privacy.

"You all packed?"

She didn't move as Brooke scooted closer to her. "Yep."

"And the boys? You packed all their stuff?"

"Of course," Haley smiled. "Nathan did help a little."

"Are you excited?"

"Yep."

"I'm gonna miss you," Brooke pouted. "I want a postcard every place you visit."

"I know," Haley smiled.

"Did he tell you anything else besides the fact that you're going to be gone for over a month?"

"No."

"I know Jamie's excited," Brooke smiled.

"He thinks we're going on an adventure."

"I'll bet. He wouldn't stop talking about it yesterday."

"You think Lucas knows where he's taking us?" Haley wondered.

"I'm sure," Brooke stated as she glanced at her boyfriend. "I think I'll go try to get it out of him. I want to know so badly and Nathan won't tell me anything."

"He thinks you'll tell me," Haley spoke up.

Brooke smirked. "Duh."

~***~

Nathan held the football tight in his hands as he waited for Julian to get open. It was seconds later when Julian out ran Lucas and he tossed it. Julian caught it before doing his victory dance. Nathan chuckled as he watched him. It wasn't long before Jamie was running up to him. Jamie jumped in his arms.

"We win," Jamie declared.

He nodded. "We did."

"Uncle Jake is mad."

"So is your Uncle Lucas," Nathan chuckled. "They'll get over it."

"I'm sure. I'm going to go play with JJ."

"Ok, little man."

"It's time," Jake announced.

"You boys ready for fireworks?" Julian asked the boys. They both nodded eagerly as they tossed the football to each other.

"Yep."

"Get ready then."

Nathan watched as both boys took off running back towards everyone. He shoved his hands in his pockets as he turned to find Haley. He noticed her talking with her sister and Brooke. He smiled at the sight of her. He could feel the ring burning a whole in his pocket as he watched her.

He had been waiting to do this since he moved here. Today was the perfect day for it. All of her family and friends were here as well as his. Then there was the fact that they would be leaving in the morning for their surprise trip. He was taking her and Jamie to all the places that she wanted to visit. He had the whole trip planned and each stop they would make. First he was taking them to London. He knew that Haley really wanted to go back there.

He couldn't wait another day to ask her. He had thought of so many ways to ask her but in the end this seemed like the best. Plus, it meant that he could ask her now and he was tired of waiting. Ever since her trip up to New York he had wanted to do this. He had bought the ring the day she left. He couldn't help but think back to their talk.

"I think we should talk," Haley said softly as she glanced at him intently. He didn't want to talk. All he wanted to do was kiss her and make love to her again. He wasn't ready for it to be over and yet looking at her now he knew that it was. Lifting his hand up, he brushed a few loose strains of hair behind her ear. "We have some really big decisions to make."

"Ok," Nathan muttered hoarsely.

"Where do we go from here?" Haley questioned carefully. His eyes searched hers intently. They stayed like that for minutes just gazing at each other. It was like she was looking into his very soul. His heart was hammering out of his chest and he wondered if hers was doing the same. Just her looking at him made him feel weak.

He didn't know how to put anything into words at the moment. Everything was all jumbled together and he could barely think with her looking so intently at him like that. A part of him was so scared to leave this moment and for them to talk. He didn't know what would happen or where they would go from there. Yeah, they loved each other and had a kid, but that didn't change things. They had to completely separate lives. Sometimes love just wasn't enough, he knew that. Still, looking into her brown orbs now he couldn't seem to look away.

He knew that this was it. This is what his time after the accident had been leading up to. He had a choice now. He could see the two paths clearly in his mind. What the future would hold in either of them, he didn't know. He still couldn't open his mouth to speak. Leaning in he kissed her tenderly never wanting the kiss to end and yet knowing that it would. She was right though, they did have some big decisions to make.

She pulled away from him seconds later. "Nathan?"

"Right," Nathan nodded. "We should talk."

They gazed at each other intently for minutes. "Where do we go from here?" Haley repeated hesitantly. "I mean, with what happened between us and…I understand if today was just about needing someone. I would get that, Nathan. I don't want you to feel like you owe me anything…"

"What?" Nathan rushed out confused. "No. That isn't what this is about." His hands moved up and down her arms softly.

"It isn't?"

"I love you, Haley," Nathan told her.

"And I love you but you live here and we live in Tree Hill and where does that leave us? What's going to happen once I leave and return home? How can this work? That's even if you wanted this to work. I mean…"

"Hales, I have to be with you," Nathan stated simply. "Since I left Tree Hill I've felt so empty. I can't go back to that…to this life." He glanced around his penthouse.

"What are you saying?"

"All my life I've only ever had basketball but now things are different. I'm different. I want to be with you and Jamie. It's the only time I feel whole. I can't explain it. I just know that I need you both in my life. I'll do whatever it takes to make that happen. I won't drink anymore. I don't need it. I just…I need you. You and Jamie are all I need."

She nodded before brushing her fingers against his cheek. His eyes snapped shut at the contact of her warm fingers.

"How can we make this work?"

"With everything that's happened recently I think I need to take a step back from everything here. I'm just done. For so long it's been the same thing in my life, basketball, hanging with the guys, and…girls. I'm sorry." His face dropped as he watched her eyes close. He hated that he was hurting her yet again.

She shrugged. "It's part of your past."

"I know," Nathan whispered. "But I wish that it wasn't. I wish I could take it all back but I can't. It'll always be there but I want you to know that none of it meant anything to me. I love you. I've only ever loved you. You're it for me. I don't want anyone else."

"What about Rachel?" Haley wondered. "You were with her in Tree Hill."

He felt his heart drop. "She kissed me. It was all her, Hales. I told her how I felt about you and then she was going on and on about how I would never be enough for you and how you could never love me. She kissed me and I pushed her away. I swear nothing happened. I would never do that to you. I would never –"

"Wow."

She looked lost in thought. "You do believe me, don't you?"

"Uh-huh," Haley nodded absentmindedly. "So you mean that nothing happened between the two of you but that one kiss?"

"Yes. Nothing else. I told her that I didn't want her, I wanted you. I was going to tell you but then Jamie walked in on us and then at the game you told me that you wanted us to try and I was so happy that I didn't want to ruin it. It meant nothing."

"It doesn't surprise me that she tried to make it seem like more," Haley muttered.

He glanced at her cautiously. "You're not mad?"

"I was but now that I know the whole story I'm not. I just wish that you had told me. Hearing something like that from her…well, you can just imagine what was going on in my head. I'm sorry that I didn't give you a chance to explain."

"I should have told you right away."

"Yeah," Haley nodded with a smile.

He smiled back. "God, I love you." He couldn't help but lean in and kiss her again.

"So do we do the whole long distance thing?" Haley wondered.

"I can't," Nathan shook his head. "I can't be away from the two of you. I won't. I've wasted so much time and I don't want to waste anymore."

"So you want us to move here?" Haley whispered before dropping her hand from his cheek.

"No," Nathan replied quickly. She glanced back at him confused.

"Then how…?"

"I want to move to Tree Hill, Hales."

"But what about basketball?"

"I can't…play anymore. With everything that's happened I just don't have it in me. I can't even remember why I loved the game so much. I've always put basketball first and I can't anymore. I'm just done. I'm going to retire," Nathan explained.

"But you love playing."

"I love you and Jamie more and I need to put you guys first."

"We would never ask you to give –"

"I know. But I want to do this. I have to do this. I need a break from it all, Hales. I don't know if I'll ever play again. Maybe someday in the future I'll be ready but at this moment in time basketball is the furthest thing from my mind. I just want us to be a family. I want to move to Tree Hill and be with you and Jamie. We missed out on so much and that's my fault but I want to make it up to you…that is, if you want to be with me."

"I love you," Haley nodded. "I've been in love with you from the second our eyes locked, Nathan. I want us to be together. I want us to be a family. It's what I've always wanted." With that he couldn't help but kiss her.

The memory faded and he smiled. It was seconds later that he felt nervous. The anticipation of her answer was killing him. He had never been so nervous in his life. Julian and Jake took off walking towards the huge box of fireworks. Once Lucas made it pass him he took off walking towards everyone else. He was sure that he looked like an idiot just standing there. He blocked everything out as he made his way towards her.

"Hey, you," Haley smiled as she walked up to meet him.

He wrapped his arms around her and her head fell on his chest. "Are you having fun?"

"Yep. You?"

"Yeah," Haley stated as she glanced up at him. "Are you ready for the fireworks?"

"Sure," Nathan nodded as he smiled at her. It was minutes later that he heard the boys cheering as huge explosions started going off. He couldn't take his eyes off of her as she glanced up at the sky. He was breathing heavily as he lifted her hand in his and placed it over his heart. She quickly glanced at him.

"Your heart is beating really fast," Haley smiled.

He nodded. "You're the only person that makes my heart race."

"Nathan," Haley smiled softly. "Are you ok? You're shaking."

Without answering her, he bent down and kissed her tenderly. He moved his mouth over hers slowly. He felt lightheaded as he pulled away from her lips. He kissed her cheek before moving his mouth to her ear.

"I want to ask you something."

"Ok. What is it?" Haley asked nervously.

He pulled away from her and glanced at her. "I want you to know how happy you make me. Every day with you is amazing. I don't know if you know this but you saved my life. I love you so much. I –"

"I love you, too," Haley smiled.

He reached in his pocket and pulled out the ring slowly. He then reached for her hand and bent down on one knee. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest as he opened the box nervously before glancing up at her. It was only then that he noticed her staring at him in complete shock.

"Oh my god!" Brooke shrieked.

"I can't believe this is happening right now," Peyton added.

"Let the guy do his thing," Lucas chuckled.

"Yeah, be quiet," Julian spoke up.

He blocked out their voices. He was sure that everyone was looking at them now but he didn't care. That was the point in asking her in front of everyone. Her family meant a lot to her and he wanted to share this moment with them.

"Hales, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?"

She didn't move an inch as he watched her. He could still hear everyone whispering to each other and fireworks going off in the background but he ignored it. He then heard Jamie telling JJ about how they were going to be a real family now and he wanted to chuckle but he held it in. When she still didn't answer minutes later he felt his heart drop. He gripped her hand more tightly in his.

"Say something…please," Nathan whispered.

"Yeah, momma," Jamie spoke up. Everyone started laughing but not him. She still hadn't answered him and he was getting worried. Maybe doing this in front of everyone wasn't the best idea. It was seconds later that a few tears rolled down her cheeks.

She nodded softly. "Yes."