I mentioned I have an entire book of outlines for "How Many Ways to Say I Love You." Since this one's been officially jossed, I wrote it any way, but as a deleted scenario. Enjoy, bitches.
"Kate!" said Martha when she answered the door. "What a pleasant surprise. I'm afraid Richard isn't here right now - "
"I know, Martha," Beckett said gravely. "I'm here to see you."
"Darling, what's wrong?"
Beckett sighed. "Can I come in?"
Martha eyed the folder in Beckett's arms.
"What's this about? Is this because of that raid in the sixties? Because I think the statue of limitations has well and truly - "
"You're not in trouble, Martha. I just need to ask you something."
"Well, then, come in, come in."
She entered and Martha closed the door behind her. "Can I get you something to drink?"
"No."
"Well, at least sit down - "
"I'd rather not."
Martha was starting to panic. "What is it? Is it Richard?"
"This... concerns him but don't worry, he's fine." She pulled out a sketch of a man from her folder and showed it to Martha.
She gasped.
"Do you recognise this man?"
Martha stared. "Where did you - ?"
"Answer the question, Martha."
Martha continued to look from the picture to Beckett before sighing. "It looks a lot like Richard's father."
Beckett nodded slowly, as if this was what she had been expecting. "Are you sure?"
"Well, it was a long time ago and we only met for one night, but – yes, I'm fairly sure."
Beckett nodded slowly and returned the picture to the folder.
"What's this about?"
"I can't tell you. I need to speak to Castle first. Until I do, I need you to keep this between us, Martha. I wanna tell him myself."
"Tell him what?"
"He'll explain it to you after I've explained it to him."
And with that she left, leaving a gaping Martha in her wake.
"Well," Martha muttered, "I need a drink."
She stood up when she heard the spare key through the door, preparing herself to tell him.
Castle sauntered through cheerfully, bags in hand, propping them on the kitchen counter.
"I brought Chinese! "
Beckett followed him into the kitchen.
"And... I got the good mustard you like," he said, bringing out the bottle and waving it proudly. "I also got Ice-cream! Strawberry!"
"Castle - "
"And for entertainment, I got you the complete box-set of Nebula Nine on Blu-Ray!"
she smiled in spite of herself. "That's... really nice, Castle - "
"You and I are going to have a great night - " He cut off when he saw her face. "What's wrong?"
"I love you." The words were ripped from her before she realised.
Castle stared, his expression frozen in place. "Uh... what?"
The next thing he knew, she was kissing him urgently.
Castle was still frozen in shock.
"I love you," she breathed against him. "God, I love you so much."
Finally, he grinned. "Whoa, is this for the DVD?"
"This is for everything," she said, unbuttoning his shirt.
"Uh, Kate, the icecream 's gonna go cold."
"It's already cold, Castle."
"Uh, right, I mean it's gonna melt."
"Don't care," she gasped, and as she grabbed his crotch, Castle decided he didn't care either, lifting her up
onto the counter.
"Wow," Castle gasped against her temple as he kissed it gently before carefully withdrawing from her.
"Where did that come from?"
"You're just... amazing," she said.
"Well, I know," he smirked, "but... is there something wrong?"
Beckett sighed. "I have to tell you something.
They both sat up on the counter.
"Ok," said Castle. "What is it?
Beckett sighed again. "When I was in that room with Peterson, he said something to me. "
"Kate, the man is a liar."
"I know, Castle, but you need to hear this. Castle, he told me he was your father."
Castle stared. "Uh, Kate, that's ridiculous."
"I thought so, too. That's why I went to one of our sketch-artists at the precinct and I described him. I asked him to shave off about forty years and then I brought it to Martha."
"You went to my mother behind my back?"
"Castle - "
"When?"
"Yesterday. She – she identified him, Castle, without any prompting from me."
Castle got up, doing up his pants.
"So... my biological father is the guy that had your mother killed? The guy that had you shot? I come from him."
"Yes."
There was a long pause. "Can I... can I see the sketch?"
"Oh. Yeah, of course," she said, getting up and picking up the folder from the couch.
Castle stared at the sketch when she gave it to him.
"This is him?"
"Yeah."
"He looks like me."
"A little."
"So, that's what all this was about? You felt like you needed to compensate?"
"What?! No, Castle!"
"Well, then how do you explain the fact that you have never told me you loved me before and then you find out this and you're all over me!"
"Because I was afraid I was going to lose you once I told you the truth!"
"Then why did you tell me?!"
"Because you deserve to know."
Castle sighed. "Kate, I don't know – I don't know if I can do this."
"Do what?"
"Us."
She stared. "Are you breaking up with me?"
"Maybe that would be best. I don't know if we can survive this."
"No. No, sorry. Not acceptable.
"It's not entirely up to you.
"Well, it's not entirely up to you, either. There are two people in this relationship - "
"If one person wants it to be over, it's over. It's called being dumped, Becket. Now, you know what it's like to be on the receiving end."
"That's a stupid rule. As far as I'm concerned, we've reached an impasse."
Castle sighed. The woman was just too stubborn for her own good. "So, what do we do?'
She took a deep breath. "I guess... we take a break," the words tasted wrong in her mouth, "until one of us can convince the other."
"Can we see other people?"
Her mouth dropped open. "Other people?"
"Yeah, well, if we're on a break -
"No."
"What if I do?"
She stared at him, shaking her head. "That would... crush me, and if you'd really be willing to deliberately hurt me that badly... then, you're not the man I fell in love with, and maybe we shouldn't be together. Maybe. But even if you did, I think I might still feel the need to fight for us. I don't want to give up. I can't give up."
"How can you have any kind of future with me? How can you even look at me without being sick?"
"Castle, you're not him."
"Part of me is."
"That's genetics. It's what you are but it's not who you are."
"How are you going to explain to your children that their grandfather murdered their grandmother and tried to murder their mother?"
"Castle, we haven't even talked about kids - "
"But you want a family,right?"
"Well, one day, yeah."
"And you really want to poison them?"
"Poison them? You think Alexis is poisoned?"
Castle swallowed. "No."
"Does knowing that she's related to him make you love her any less?"
"Of course not."
"Than it would be no different with our kids. Castle, he might have informed your DNA but he didn't raise you. Alexis is who she is because she was raised by a caring, loving father. That's how it'll be for us. Come on, Castle. We've been through too much to let a slight complication - "
"A slight complication?!"
"Yeah."
"You're acting as if this isn't a big deal."
"Well, of course it's a big deal - it's a huge deal – but it's not worth losing you over. Nothing is worth that."
"Nothing?"
"Nothing."
He saw the determination in her eyes, the pure love.
Fuck, she means it.
"It's going to be hard; I get that. But you know what's harder? Not being with you."
She needed him like he needed her; he could feel it. If his feelings were right, it would be cruel to walk away from her. If she loved him like he loved her, walking away – for any reason - would cause her intense visceral pain and he could not bring himself to do that to her.
"I'm sorry, Kate."
She held her breath. Did that mean, I'm sorry I've been acting like a stupid little bitch, or I'm sorry, but I'm sill breaking up with you, you sad, pathetic woman?
But then he was right in front of her, touching her, one hand on her nape, the other in her hair and her insides cheered.
"I'm sorry I've taken this so badly," he whispered.
She pulled him close to her, skin-to-skin.
"You scared the crap out of me," she whispered back.
"I'm sorry," he repeated.
"I love you so much."
"I love you too."
She swallowed his words with kisses, whispering "I love yous" against his mouth. She found now that she had finally said the words, she couldn't stop herself.
"We'll get through this," she told him between kisses.
"I hope so."
