MEMORIES: CROWNING A QUEEN

Later that evening, after Leliana had played her Song of Iloren for us, we sat in Sybille's garden. Although the heat of the day had subsided after sunset, it was still very warm in the house, so we dined beneath the magnolia tree in the garden.

"Well," said Sybille, sipping the sweet vin mousseux the servants had brought out with the peaches after dinner, "it seems we've almost come to the end of your story, Aedan. Perhaps you can complete it tonight, before Leliana and I go to Chateau Picart for the funeral?"

"I don't know if there will be time to complete it, but I can perhaps get as far as the Landsmeet this evening. Although we had gathered the armies, we still had much to do, as Wynne was fond of saying.

I have to confess that my first priority before getting back to Redcliffe was a rather personal one. I finally coaxed my shy, chantry-raised boy into my tent for the evening the night we left the Dalish camp. Though I knew he was still reticent, I felt that we might never have another chance. So after a long kiss—when I could tell he was aroused from the beating of his heart-as well as other signs," I glanced into my lover's lap, "I asked him if he would join me and he did."

"I was still nervous about the physical part of loving Aedan, but I trusted him and he would not want to hurt me or…shame me, so I knew that he must mean to make…love, and not just take. And with Eamon planning to make me King, I suppose I wanted to know what it was that I would be…missing."

Sybille looked puzzled, "Why do you both speak as if your relationship might have come to an end? I imagine that you were worried that you might not both survive the final battles, but…"

"It wasn't that, or not only that," I replied. "If Alistair were King, he would have to marry, try to conceive an heir to the throne. And—well, obviously, he could not do that with me."

"But many kings have women on the side—or men, if that is their taste," pointed out the Comtesse.

I chuckled, "Alistair would not be most kings."

He shook his head. "No, I would not have dishonored my marriage that way. I mean, I loved Aedan, but if I were married to someone else, I wouldn't be…playing around."

"It was one of the few times we quarreled. I saw it much as you did, Sybille, and told him I didn't mean to give him up, but Alistair…well, I knew him well enough by then that I wasn't surprised. But it still hurt a little to know that he would be willing to end our relationship. And he seemed almost angry at me for suggesting otherwise. You didn't think that I wanted you because you might be king, did you?"

He shook his head. "It wasn't that, my dear, you know that I wanted to stay with you. I didn't want to be King, at all. But if I was going to be King, my duties would have to come first."

"So I thought, that if he did, that at least we would always have those nights we shared in the tent. And I must say it was one time that I was glad I had not taken Alistair's suggestion and made Morrigan our camp cook."

"Why is that?" Alistair could not see the connection.

"I would not have wished to explain why I wanted lard in the middle of the night to her," as Alistair turned a scarlet so bright that it was obvious even by candlelight.

"Lard?" asked Leliana. "What for?"

I looked up toward the large white blossoms in the tree above us, "Some activities are easier and more pleasurable with a little grease." Understanding dawned in Leli's eyes, and we all laughed as my love's face changed from scarlet to crimson.

"I must say that you appeared to lose all your doubts about making love rather quickly, once you realized the Maker wasn't about to strike you down with lightning. You seemed quite avid to explore all the possibilities. But after a few of these delightful nights, we were back at Redcliffe and ready to go to Denerim for the Landsmeet. Eamon was certain that we needed to make Alistair King and my heart was heavy at the thought of losing him. But there seemed no other way forward, so we returned to Denerim to try and sway the nobles of Ferelden to reject Loghain and join forces with us to fight the Darkspawn.

We had been in Denerim only a short time when Queen Anora's maid came to us with a most curious request. She claimed that the Queen was imprisoned on Howe's estate and begged us to rescue her. I was dubious, but Eamon convinced me that even if it were a trap, we had little choice because if Howe killed Anora and blamed us, the Landsmeet would turn against us. In any event, I had business to conclude with Howe myself.

With the maid's assistance, we managed to enter the estate unnoticed, disguised in the uniform of Howe's guards. But when we reached Anora's room we found her trapped behind a magical barrier. It seemed the only way to free her would be to find the mage who had constructed the barrier, and he had descended into the dungeon with Howe.

Although we had passed unnoticed through the house, entering the dungeon required a password—which needless to say, we did not know. And so, once more our path was spattered in blood as we fought our way through the guards in Howe's prisons and torture chambers until we faced the monster himself, as well as the mage who had imprisoned Anora.

Slaying Howe was…not as satisfying as I had imagined it would be. Of course, I knew it would not bring my family back, but somehow I thought I would feel more…closure than I did. Instead, he was just one more body, in the end.

Howe had a number of interesting prisoners. One was an Orlesian Grey Warden named Riordan took the initiative to free himself by reaching through the bars of his cell and strangling his guard when he was distracted by our arrival. Another was the son of a Bann who had been at Ostagar and was imprisoned for telling of Loghain's betrayal. We found a Templar who had been captured when Loghain had got his hands on Jowan, the blood mage that had poisoned Eamon. And finally, we found Vaughn, the son of the former Arl of Denerim. The Arl himself had fallen at Ostagar and Howe had succeeded in getting Loghain to name him Arl in his place, as Vaughn was thought dead as well. Ugh…I wish I had never let that one out of the dungeon. Denerim would be a happier place if he were dead. But at the time, I thought we needed as many allies at the Landsmeet as possible, even if the man seemed an arrogant fool. He has since proven to be far worse than that, though that is another story.

After releasing all the prisoners, we returned upstairs to free Anora and attempted to smuggle her out of the manor. It seemed none of the guards on the upper floor had heard any of the commotion from below and we almost escaped.

However, we were prevented from leaving by the arrival of Ser Cauthrien with a substantial force, coming to arrest us for the murder of Arl Howe. The timing of her arrival—and the charge of murdering Howe—has always struck me as suspicious, though the palace is very close to the Arl's estate and I suppose that if his spies had seen us going there, he could hardly think that I was paying Howe a social visit.

I could not help but suspect a trap, but I can't see how Anora could have laid such a trap without Howe's help. She was imprisoned by magic, and Howe was clearly not prepared for our arrival. Nor did Ser Cauthrien appear to have any notion that Anora was there. I have a suspicion that she might have gone there to try and get Howe's support against her father, but he decided he didn't like the deal. In any event, I contemplated trying to fight our way out but decided against it, much to Oghren's dismay. I saw—and still see-Ser Cauthrien as an honorable woman, and was confident she would not execute us without trial. And if I could not bust us out of Fort Drakon myself, I had no doubt that Leliana and Zevran would. Only Alistair and I were imprisoned; the others—including Anora—went back to Arl Eamon's estate.

As it happened, we were able to free ourselves before the others mounted a rescue mission. It was almost disturbingly easy to escape. I pretended to be suffering from some dreadful ailment and when the guard came in to check on us, we beat him senseless with our fists. I snuck into the armory and stole some uniforms and we were able to pose as new recruits going out on our first patrol.

When we arrived back at Eamon's estate, Anora was waiting for me with a proposition. Knowing that we needed more support to topple her father, she offered to speak on our behalf to the Landsmeet…if I agreed to support her as Queen. Although I knew Eamon would be enraged by this suggestion, I could not help but agree with some of her arguments, in particular that putting a Grey Warden on the throne might be viewed as an inappropriate interference in Ferelden's politics. After all, the Wardens had only recently been allowed back into the country, and were still not fully trusted.

She offered an…unflattering description of Alistair as a King and suggested that he was too inexperienced and would serve Ferelden better as a Warden than as a King. Despite that—or maybe because she thought she could control him—she was willing to marry him, even willing to put up with him continuing his relationship with me on the side, much as she had tolerated Cailan's mistresses. While I think my love has a stubborn streak that would make him harder to manipulate—by her or Eamon-than she imagined, I could not help thinking that simply leaving her on the throne might be the best solution. And one which would let us stay together."

"Aedan, surely you're not saying that you considered our happiness more important than Ferelden's future! I always assumed you were joking when you said it was a selfish decision, and that you knew I just wouldn't make a good King."

I paused and looked over to him. "I—would not put it that way. I thought it was better to have Anora as an ally than an enemy, and I did not think having Thierin blood was as important to most of the Landsmeet as it was to Eamon. Maybe you and Anora ruling together would have been better than Anora ruling alone, but the Wardens needed you too. I needed you. And it's not like I was placing an idiot or a monster on the throne."

"You know I didn't want the throne, but if you really thought it was in the best interests of Ferelden, shouldn't—"

I didn't let him finish. "But it's only my opinion that you might have been better together and Eamon's opinion that you should have been King. You said you thought Anora would be better. I might be wrong." He still looked troubled but said no more, and I continued my story.

"Although I had a hunch that with Anora's help we would win the Landsmeet—surely few would support a man whose own daughter had turned against him—we decided to see if we could learn anything else that would be damaging to his case. The Queen suggested that there had been a disturbance in the Alienage that might bear investigation. I wondered if she knew more than she let on, but we went there to look around.

When we arrived in the Alienage, we found a large, angry crowd gathered outside a hospice. We were told that there was a plague spreading, and that healers from Tevinter were inside the Hospice, giving a magical cure for it. The trouble was that people did not seem to be coming back out. It sounded suspicious, to say the least. We were not allowed in the front door—supposedly because of the plague—so we paid off the elven guard at the back door to get in. What we discovered was that there was hardly anyone inside, certainly not the dozens of elves who had been brought in for treatment..

With a little more investigation—and quite a bit of fighting, for the Tevinter guards were not of a mind to cooperate—we eventually found out what was going on. The whole hospice was a front for an operation to smuggle elves that were to be sold as slaves in Tevinter. With the express permission of Loghain, in direct contravention of Ferelden law, I might add. It was one more crime to lay at Loghain's door, when the Landsmeet met.

The Landsmeet itself did not prove as difficult as I feared. Loghain seemed deranged, focused on a threat from Orlais, even as the Darkspawn ran amok over Ferelden. He accused me of being a tool of the Empress and of having Anora kidnapped, a charge that backfired when Anora herself appeared and spoke on my behalf. After that, he received very little support from the Landsmeet. Still, he would not give up, and rather than drowning the chamber in blood as his supporters and mine fought it out, I chose to fight a duel. Had I planned on making Alistair king, I would have asked him to fight the duel, but as it was, I thought Loghain would be less familiar with opponents of my fighting style than his. Though thirty years my senior, he was still a formidable warrior, but with the help of a helpful little mixture I bought from Cesar in the market, he was overcome and yielded in the end.

It was then that Riordan suggested that Loghain be made into a Warden, and my love became more furious than I have ever seen him. For my part, I was irritated by Riordan making this suggestion with no prior warning…I rather think he and Anora must have talked about it beforehand. I wasn't even sure what he was doing at the Landsmeet. In any event, I had less faith than he that making him a Warden would wed him to our cause. Even Cauthrien and Anora called him "mad". I was not about to put trust in a madman or someone who thought me an Orlesian agent. Had he freely offered to become a warden before the duel, stepped down from the Regency to spare the kingdom further division before it came to that, I might have thought he had seen the error of his ways and done as Riordan advised. But even so, I was taken aback by Alistair's vehemence. My dear, would you really have abandoned the Wardens, abandoned me, if I had made him one of us?"

"I—I was really angry. I don't know if I—no, I don't think I could have…" He frowned. "It would have been very hard to call him brother, after all he had done…"

"Well, in any event, I ignored Riordan, though it meant breaking a promise to Anora, for I had told her that if there were a way for Loghain to live, I would take it. But I had in mind imprisonment or perhaps exile, not the rite of conscription. I slew him before all the nobles gathered there and his blood spattered his daughter's dress.

She was overcome with grief, or perhaps overcome with her own role in her father's death—but composed herself remarkably well when I advised the Landsmeet to make her Queen. I suppose she might well have feared that having broken one promise, I would break another and tout Alistair for the throne. But I chose otherwise, and so, I believe I lost Arl Eamon's friendship, as well as hers. But Ferelden was united, the armies were gathered, and there was nothing left but to fight the final battle against the Archdemon. But as I said, that's too much story telling for a single night…how is your epic going by the way, Leli?"

She smiled. "It is coming, though I have been a bit—distracted by other concerns. I have been doing some research on the Blights, and noticed something remarkable."

"Oh?"

"In the last four blights, there has always been one Warden whose heroism has been celebrated above all others. I had thought to mention each of their names, and then finally yours, in a prologue…with apologies to Alistair. But the remarkable thing is that the other four all seem to have died in the final battle. You are the only one that managed to survive the Archdemon to be feted in life."

Alistair looked like he might fall out of his chair then, but fortunately Leli's eyes were focused on me, and she did not notice.

"Really? I had no idea. Maybe you had it right all along and the Maker had a special plan for me." I finished my glass of wine and made my way to bed soon after. Madame LaRousse had secured an audience for me early the next morning, and I wished to be well-rested for it.