A/N: I will be putting my other fic on hold for the moment and finish this one first, probably within the next two months. There are more 7-8 chapters to come after this. I hope you stay with this story till the end. Enjoy!
The Price of Success
The procession towards the infirmary was a silent and an uncomfortable affair. Madam Pompfrey wisely suggested to place the two of them as far apart as possible and Ron made sure to voice his agreement at this. Harry was being treated on the far end of the Infirmary by some healers while Madam Pompfrey looked after Ron's wounds. Everyone had gathered around him leaving only the healers to Harry's company.
Hermione was saddened by this animosity between Harry and everyone else but there was nothing she could do. The bridge between them and Harry was broken well beyond repair. He was all alone now and that made her all the more depressed. But he deserved it. It was all his own doing. She decided to later speak with Madam Pompfrey to allow Harry to go to St Mungo's to get him admitted there. He was mentally ill. He needed treatment before it got worse for him. She still cared about him no matter what he had done.
Ron looked dejectedly at everyone and Ginny was doing her best not to break down. She held onto Hermione for support, her eyes never leaving Ron. After a few minutes, Madam Pompfrey cleared him off any lasting damage and requested him to stay in the infirmary for a few more hours just as a precaution. On the other hand, the other healers had told them that Harry had been hurt badly, with several broken ribs and a broken arm. His stomach had also been punctured and he was laced with deep cuts all over his body. He was so brutally damaged that Hermione had to wonder who actually had been in real danger. It had been an hour but Harry still hadn't regained consciousness.
In the meantime, the Weasleys, minus Percy, had arrived along with Neville, Luna, Mr Lupin and Tonks to check up on Ron. Mrs Weasley couldn't hold back the tears as she embraced Ron while the others just stood back and supported each other. Watching their brother fight for his life and finding themselves unable to do anything about it had greatly unsettled them. Such were the circumstances that they couldn't even bring themselves to hate the person responsible for the ordeal they were going through.
Mr Lupin was the only one to go see Harry. When he returned, the grim look on his face told everyone that Harry was in a very bad shape.
Hermione noticed everyone discreetly glancing in Harry's direction as if wanting to go and check on him. However, no one did. Harry lay alone, suffering from the pain he brought on himself. Hermione could only pity him. She had no forgiveness left in herself for him.
A couple of hours later Ron was declared fit to be discharged and everyone stood up to leave. Most of them glanced once again towards the bed in the corner before exiting the infirmary.
The Weasleys, Mr Lupin and Tonks left Ron, Hermione and the others at the entrance of the Gryffindor common room after they bade their goodbyes. Emotions were running high and Ron seemed to be in a daze. No one could blame him though. His best friend had tried to kill him.
Instead of entering the common room, Ron turned around and led Hermione, Ginny, Neville and Luna to the Room of Requirement.
"Why are we here Ron?" Ginny asked with concern when they were seated in the room. Her face had paled considerably and the freckles were more visible than ever. She was worried about his brother's health. Moreover, Harry's actions had broken her heart. She was hurting deep inside. She just didn't know it yet.
When Ron remained silent, Hermione spoke up. "We know Harry was our friend and we know what he has done. He nearly killed you-"
"No, that's not exactly what happened." Ron said, his voice shaking as he spoke.
"What are you talking about? We all saw what he did." Neville argued with a confused look on his face.
Ron looked up at them with reddened eyes. "He-he didn't try to kill me. He saved me. Harry saved me."
***B***
He felt numb. The pain was a distant memory, replaced by an odd sensation that he couldn't explain. Must be the work of healing magic and potions.
It was dark when Harry opened his eyes and after finding himself alone in the infirmary, a grim smile creased his face. It looked as if Ron had listened to his request and kept everyone away from him.
However, from the corner of his eye he noticed a small movement which quickly disappeared. "Show yourself. I know you are here."
There were a few sighs and slowly five people appeared around him.
"You are so clumsy Hermione." Ron was saying.
"It was you who were struggling under that cloak, not me. You are too huge to fit under that and using it for two was just stretching the limit." Hermione argued, momentarily forgetting where they were.
Ginny coughed to draw their attention. "There must be something else that we can talk about than these cheap invisibility cloaks, right guys?" Ron and Hermione looked at Harry and then again back at each other before falling silent.
"Ron" Harry spoke up, breaking the silence. "Didn't I tell you to stay away?"
"I know. But they wouldn't listen. So I made certain no one would know we were here."
Harry glanced towards Madam Pompfrey's office and Hermione chipped in. "Taken care of."
"You should have kept it to yourself Ron, at least for a little while." Harry was still focused on Ron.
"We are still here, you know." Hermione said, crossing her arms.
"I know what you told me Harry but I couldn't let them believe a lie. It was too painful for me to hear them say things about you. You don't deserve this Harry. You saved my life again. I couldn't let you suffer alone here in the infirmary." Ron paused when Harry's hardened face refused to budge. "They are your friends Harry, they deserve to know the truth. They need to know that you are still a very good person who can never turn dark."
Harry stared at Ron for a moment before looking away. He didn't know whether to be angry or relieved. Granted he felt better with his friends around him who still believed that he was a good person, it was still too much of a risk. If someone saw them together, everything he did would go to waste.
"I am sorry Harry." Ron continued speaking.
"What for?" Harry moved his questioning eyes at Ron.
"If you haven't forgotten, I nearly killed you!" Ron exclaimed. Hermione clutched his arm and rubbed his back, which actually seemed to calm Ron down. Harry noticed the others didn't react much to what Ron had said which meant that he had already told them about what had happened.
"So tell us Harry, what exactly happened?" Hermione enquired as the five formed a tight group around Harry and bent forward with eager looks on their faces.
"Didn't Ron tell you?" Harry glanced towards Ron.
"He didn't." Ginny said with annoyance. "He told us that you would be the right person to tell us about it. Now just get on with it and spill the beans." Ginny said enthusiastically, while her hands pulled on his arm as if to encourage him. She seemed very happy about the fact that Harry was not in the wrong.
Even that small touch sent Harry's spine tingling but he did his best not to let it show on his face. "I don't think I am the right person for that. I am not a good story teller. I don't have the ability to blow the facts out of proportion and spice it with unbelievable exaggerations." Harry's eyes glinted mischievously. "Ron, if you would be so kind."
"That's so not nice." Ron said crossly. "I would act as if I didn't just hear that." The others chuckled as quietly as possible.
After the laughs subsided their attention returned back to Harry who was trying to think of a way out of this. He figured he had no other choice but to relent.
"Well, where should I begin?" Harry asked them.
"How about just before Ron went ballistic." Ginny requested. Ron's face darkened slightly but it was only Harry who noticed it. He also knew why.
Harry cleared his throat and sat up in his bed, with help of course. He still had some recovering to do. "I had Ron under pressure and the match was going in my favour. Suddenly, something took over Ron and he began to hover in the air. I could even feel his rampant magic lashing out at me from where I was standing."
"I noticed that as well." Hermione said turning to Ron. "Where did you learn to do that?"
"I didn't." Ron said quietly. Besides Harry, everyone looked shocked. "I... I actually don't remember what exactly happened. It was only after I got bitten by the snakes that I became aware of my surroundings."
The eyes went as wide as possible and the jaws were nearly grazing the floor. Such was the state of the four shocked students in the Infirmary.
"What does that mean? Were you under the Imperius curse?" Hermione said, looking between Ron and Harry.
"I don't know. It didn't feel the same way though when compared with that class we had with the fake Mad-eye Moody. I didn't know what was happening around me." Ron responded with a pensive look on his face.
"I know what happened to you Ron." Harry said quietly and all heads turned in his direction. "During the duel I noticed an odd thing. Ron's wand was giving a faint glow while Ron wasn't himself."
"We... didn't notice that, did we?" Neville looked at the others and shook their heads. "Maybe we were too far."
"Yes and I was the closest when it happened." Harry said nodding his head.
"Wait a minute!" Ron exclaimed in shock. "Are you implying that my wand is responsible for what happened to me? There must be some other explanation." Ron said, protectively clutched his wand in his pocket and moved his eyes to Harry. "I think you are just-"
"For the hundredth time, no, I am not jealous." Harry said sharply. "There is no reason for me to make up things when the matter is so serious." Harry turned to Hermione. "There had always been something weird about the wand, a side effect maybe, which I am sure you must have noticed, right Hermione?" Without waiting for her to answer he went on. "Remember how Ron's great uncle used to act when he had the wand with him. However, as soon as he passed on the wand to Ron, he seemed a changed person. At first, I didn't give it much thought but now I am not so sure."
"I agree with you Harry but it's still too early to come to that conclusion. There might be a perfectly good explanation for this that might have nothing to do with the wand at all." Ron gazed gratefully at Hermione while Harry just shrugged.
There was a bit of silence which was quickly broken by Ginny. "I think we all got a little side tracked and I am sure it was another one of Harry's sneaky strategy to escape our interrogation." Harry held out his tongue at her as she chuckled. "So what happened next?"
And Harry had the room's attention again. He knew there was no way to not tell them about it. Ron knew it already. "I saw that Ron was not in control of himself and his wand wanted to do more than just stun or disarm me. It wanted to hurt me. So I tried to reach out to him. That didn't work too."
"Reach out to him? What does that mean?" Ginny inquired. Hermione's expression indicated that she already got the gist of what he was saying.
"To force my thoughts in his head using Legilimency." Harry replied and waited for their reaction. He wasn't disappointed. The dumbstruck expressions on their faces were proof enough.
"Dumbledore taught you that too?" Ginny managed to say.
"No. It just came naturally to me. It's not much different from Occlumency, you know." Harry tried to downplay their overreaction. "I am not that good at it either. My skills are rusty at best."
"Still, that is really an amazing gift you have with you." Neville praised him with a smile.
"There are people much better at it than me." Harry said as he glanced at Hermione. She shook her head discreetly and Harry moved his eyes to Ron. "Right, so I tried to reach out to him but I couldn't hear a response. Either I wasn't doing it right or there was something very wrong with Ron. I had to do something that could awaken him without jeopardizing the duel. After all, it was Ron who was supposed to win the duel." Another surprise for everyone.
"But-but we saw what happened." Neville stammered. He was slightly getting overwhelmed by Harry's disclosure. The others were as well but they were slightly better at hiding their emotions.
"It happened because I made it look that way. Fairly convincing wasn't it?" Harry had a smirk on his face.
"Very" Ginny agreed with a chuckle. "The Minister even wanted to arrest you for using dark magic. I don't blame him though. It looked extremely dangerous and scary from where we sat."
"What happened? Did the Headmistress stop him?" Harry had been out cold and wasn't aware of what had occurred after that.
"Umm... no. It was… Professor Hart." Hermione informed him.
Now it was Harry's turn to look shocked. "Are you sure?" Hermione nodded. "Why would he do that? There must be a motive for him to have me here."
"Or we could be entirely wrong about him." Hermione suggested. Harry remained silent.
"Harry, you still haven't told us how you pulled off the whole thing." Ginny reminded Harry.
"Well, for my plan to work I had to first to bring Ron out of his trance or whatever it was. I decided to use pain as a means to draw his conscious. I knew that any spell would not work against his shield. I had to think of an alternative."
"So you just came up with an idea to use snakes? And that to when you were badly hurt and didn't have much time." Hermione remarked.
Harry frowned. "And your point is?" Hermione opened her mouth but decided against it. She shook her head and remained silent. Harry wasn't surprised that Hermione had picked up on that information. She must have figured that he had planned in advance. "Anyway, I needed time to think and had to stall Ron. So I used the smokescreen as cover and bought some time for myself to prepare. I summoned some harmless snakes and used Parseltongue to give them instructions. It turned out well in the end. Ron wasn't expecting such an attack."
"I knew those snakes weren't poisonous." Neville said with a nod. However, when Hermione shot him a look he retraced his words. "Or maybe not."
Harry gave a reassuring smile to Neville and continued. "While Ron was struggling with the snakes I felt Ron's mind clearing up and I reached out to him again."
"It worked that time because I heard him." Ron took over. "It was a strange sensation, it felt as if he was inside my head. At first, I thought I was hallucinating because I couldn't see him. However, as soon as the smoke cleared I saw Harry looking me in the eye and I knew it was him. Then my eyes moved to the huge snake next to him and my eyes nearly popped out. I had to rub my eyes twice before I could confirm what I was seeing was real."
"That was some mean piece of magic you did there." Ginny acknowledged.
"Even I haven't mastered the summoning charm yet. We are only going to learn that later in the term. Who taught you to do that? Was it Dumbledore?" Hermione questioned Harry who nodded. She looked a bit circumspect but Harry looked away.
"That huge snake that I summoned weakened me greatly and it was only with the last bit of my strength did I manage to stay on my feet." Harry paused as he turned his eyes to Ron. "I had to make it look real so that no one could question about what really happened. Making it look more fierce and deadly was the only way to ensure that."
"You might have gone a bit overboard with that, if you ask me. I was practically scared out of my wits. It had to take every last bit of my resolve to not run out of the arena, screaming my head off." Ron admitted, shaking his head.
"Wouldn't that be something to remember?" Ginny teased him while the others chuckled.
Ron joined in as well. "And then I hear Harry telling me to not worry and everything would be fine. This happened while that monstrous snake was slithering towards me with those menacing green eyes and those sharp poisonous fangs thirsting for my blood. I would have laughed at Harry if it wasn't for the fact that I had only a few moments to live."
"See? I told you how good he is at exaggerating the situation?" Harry remarked with a chuckle.
"It's true. And then Harry had the gall to tell me to let the snake whack me with its tail and not to struggle when it coils around me. At that moment I knew Harry had lost it and I began shooting spells at the snake."
"Little good that did." Harry argued. "You only managed to annoy the snake and made it even more difficult for me to control it. It wanted to eat you there and then." Ron shivered in fear.
"What about the sound of breaking bones that we clearly heard when Ron was being crushed?" Ginny wondered aloud.
"It was Ron's wand. I had the snake comfortably coil around him." Harry explained.
"There is no such thing as being comfortable when you have a humungous snake twisting around you, ready to squeeze the insides out of you." Ron retorted with angry eyes.
Harry shook his head with amusement. "The snake had left Ron's wand arm free and that was when I told him to make cracking sounds using his wand."
"Ah... that explains it." Neville said as he nodded his head. "Nice trick you played on us. Fooled as all."
Harry just gave a wry smile. "When I had the snake poised for an attack, I told Ron to stun me immediately and hence, win the duel."
The others exhaled with surprise on their faces. What an eventful day it had been. However, it was the way it had ended that took the cake.
"Harry, even though you did let me win, it doesn't mean that I cannot defeat you." Harry didn't respond to Ron and just smirked. "I am serious."
"Tell me Ron, what was going through your head when you were on the floor under my spell fire?" Harry cross questioned him.
Ron looked momentarily confused with the sudden change of subject. "I... well... I thought I was going to lose. I was thinking about how desperately I wanted to win. To show everyone my real worth. I... that's all I remember." Harry shared a look with Hermione. "Why are you asking me this?"
"I was just trying to extract information from you and find out what could have triggered your wand to act so strangely." Ron tried to argue but Harry cut him off. "I think you should learn Occlumency to stop this from happening again."
"First of all, there is nothing wrong with my wand. And who is going to teach me Occlumency, you?" The fact that Harry could meddle with his head didn't sound too good to Ron.
"Hermione could to do it too." Harry said gesturing towards the person in question.
Ron turned to Hermione with an eager smile. Now this sounded much better to him. "You can teach me?"
Hermione glanced towards Harry before nodding. "I could if you want."
Ginny chuckled. "Ron are you sure you want to let Hermione into your head and let her know all your little secrets?"
Ron suddenly looked peaky and this idea suddenly started to look a lot less appealing to him. Everyone laughed which they quickly tried to subdue but the damage was done. The Muffliato spell seemed to have worn off.
"What's going on here?" Madam Pompfrey said as she came out of her office.
Everyone had quickly hid themselves under their invisibility cloaks and it was up to Harry to deal with the situation.
"I am not sure, Madam Pompfrey." Harry said while trying to stifle a laughter. "It seems some of the potions in my stomach is causing me to-" He gave a few chuckles before he resumed. "-laugh. I just can't stop myself."
Madam Pompfrey eyed Harry severely but he was too experienced to break under her stare. Her expressions eased up a bit as she said. "Weird. This is not supposed to happen. I will fix you a potion to counter it." Saying which she returned to her office.
As soon as she was gone, he heard stifled giggles and chuckles around him.
"Smooth Harry" He heard Ginny whisper in her ear. He found himself liking it very much.
"We should be on our way then." Hermione voiced, followed by the shuffling of their feet.
"See you soon Harry." Luna wished him. She hadn't spoken one word the entire time and Harry had nearly forgotten she was even there.
The infirmary door slowly opened and closed moments later. He was back to being alone. He finally had some to time to himself, to rejoice and celebrate his success. He really did it! It had been very difficult at times, bad enough to almost stop moving forward with his plan. But he persisted and now he was finally there.
The hardest part was behind him now. Now he just had to lay low for a while and let his hard work bear its fruits.
***B***
"Mr Potter, what brings you here so early in the morning?" The Headmistress said searching Harry's guarded eyes as he sat before her in the office. "Aren't you supposed to be in the Infirmary?"
"I am alright. Madam Pompfrey didn't mind me leaving the Infirmary for a while." Harry lied without giving himself away. "I had something important to talk to you about."
"About yesterday?" Her lips thinned ever so slightly as she gazed down at Harry.
"The last two months in general." Harry sighed, his tired eyes glancing around the office before returning to the Headmistress who gave a small nod asking him to elaborate. "I know it was Professor Dumbledore's wishes to make me the Head Boy and I truly respect that. However, in light of what has been happening in the last two months, I have been left with no other choice."
The Headmistress' eyes widened slightly but she maintained her stoic expression. "What are you proposing?" She asked, even though she already knew what Harry was going to say.
"I am resigning from the post of Head Boy." Harry removed the badge from his pocket and placed it on the table. He looked up and met the Headmistress' gaze. "It has been a difficult decision for me and I know you had a lot of expectations from me too. However, things haven't gone as planned for which I am partly to blame. I hope you respect my decision and accept the badge and pass it onto someone worthy."
Her sad eyes moved to the shining badge. She knew Harry was right. In the position he was in at the moment, there was no way he could carry out the duties of a Head Boy. He had already been through a lot and she couldn't stop him from unloading a huge burden he had been carrying for a while. How she wished things were different?
She watched the broken boy before her who sat with a bowed head hanging in defeat. He looked tired and drained as if the last few months had sucked the life out of him. She raised her arm to console the boy but she couldn't get herself to do it. It was if there existed an impregnable wall between them. What could she do for Harry to make his life easier? She started with what she could do first.
"Alright Mr Potter, I will accept the badge. However, let me tell you that I still don't regret my decision. You were the best choice, make no mistake, and it had nothing to do with the wishes of the late Headmaster. If only we were under different circumstances you would have certainly prospered in your position."
Harry gave her a wry smile. "If only wishes could come true. I have spent my whole life wishing for something better and each time I had been left sadly disappointed. I have learned my lesson though and stopped engaging myself in such pointless activities. I have learned to just deal with reality and move on." Harry paused and stood up to leave. "I am sorry if I sounded disrespectful but I needed to get it out of my system." He turned around and moved towards the door.
"Harry wait!" The Headmistress called out using Harry's first name. She had never done that before. She was getting soft on him, he realized. How a few words and a bit of acting could make such a difference. He stopped at the door but didn't turn around.
"Do you have a suggestion on who should step in your shoes?" He heard her ask.
"Someone who is respected by everyone and is worthy of the badge." Harry disappeared through the door after saying that.
There were only a few candidates who fit that bill and one student stood out the most.
The Headmistress pondered on when she would make the announcement.
***B***
After earning an earful from Madam Pompfrey, Harry returned to his bed and was lost in deep thought. He didn't even notice when someone came and stood right beside his bed. He wasn't expecting anyone either since his friends had promised to stay away from him for a while.
A small cough brought him out of his trance. "Susan, what are you doing here?" Harry was certainly surprised to see her. He looked in her eyes but she looked her normal self; it was as if yesterday never happened for her. Or was he mistaken?
"That's so rude. I brought you breakfast and that's how you thank me?" Susan said doing a perfect imitation of Mrs Weasley. He glanced at the steaming sandwiches on the table before returning his eyes to Susan.
"Er... thanks." Harry said with a guarded look and then eyed the food. It certainly smelled delicious and was making him feel hungry.
Susan took Harry's glance the wrong way. "And no it isn't poisoned."
"No! I never said that!" Harry exclaimed in confusion. He quickly picked up a sandwich and hungrily bit into it. "Dankz" He said through a mouthful.
This managed to bring a smile to her face as she sat down on the chair next to his bed and picked up a sandwich herself. "I brought them from the Great Hall. I thought you would be hungry."
Harry smiled gratefully and made quick work of the sandwich before moving on to the next one. They ate in silence till the plate was licked clean. Harry rested his back on the pillow and moved his eyes to Susan who was watching him. "Thanks." He said again for the lack of anything else to say. He couldn't directly ask her why she was here, could he?
"I know what you are thinking." Harry looked at her enquiringly. "I don't believe a word everyone is saying about you. You are such a good person that it seems impossible that you could hurt your best friend."
"But-but you saw what happened yesterday..." Harry spluttered, astonished by what Susan was telling him.
"So what? Sometimes things are much different from the way they seem. There has to be a perfect explanation for whatever happened in the duel between you and Ron. I don't exactly know the circumstances but I am sure you were not at fault."
Harry was left dumbstruck by her unwarranted blind faith in him. His mouth opened and closed like a fish making Susan giggle.
"I don't know what to say." Harry said quietly.
"You don't have to." She said. Harry broke eye contact and scanned the empty infirmary. They both remained silent for a moment. "I still don't understand how your friends didn't believe you. They have known you for a long time, haven't they?"
"Well..." He couldn't answer her. He had to change this uncomfortable line of questioning. "I appreciate your believing in my innocence but it would be unwise to talk to me in public. I would never want you to suffer what I have been through."
The intensity in which Harry told her made her cheeks redden slightly. "That's very kind of you Harry but that won't be necessary. With us being Head Boy and Head Girl, we would have plenty of opportunities to interact with each other."
"Umm... about that..." Harry said uncomfortably and trailed off.
"What?" Susan enquired with concern.
"I... umm..." Harry couldn't understand why he was finding it so difficult to tell her what he did. Steeling himself he told her. "I resigned from the post of Head Boy."
However, he was not ready for Susan's reaction. She looked completely distraught and upset. He could even notice hints of tears appearing in the corner of her eyes. "But why?" Her voice cracked slightly and Harry suddenly found himself in dangerous territory. A crying girl was the last thing he needed. She slowly began to sob and Harry found himself helplessly looking around and figuring out ways to console her.
"Your personality has certainly hit rock bottom, Mr Potter." Madam Pompfrey said sternly as she watched them from the entrance of her office. "The only person who came to see you and you end up making her cry." She huffed and returned to her office, banging the door behind her. Harry was left with his mouth hanging open.
Amazingly, Harry heard a chuckle from Susan. Now he was totally confused. Either both of them had gone crazy, or was it just him?
Susan rubbed at her eyes and tried to wipe her face clean. Her reddened eyes were wildly clashing with the smile on her face.
"I am sorry about that. I must have got you confused." Harry dumbly nodded making Susan giggle. "I laughed because of the way Madam Pompfrey treated you. You did nothing wrong but the situation we were in made you look like the villain. A similar situation like yesterday, won't you agree?"
Harry was left speechless by her incisive thinking process. He just couldn't figure her out. There were so many questions he needed answered but he couldn't ask anyone of them to her. "Why were you crying then?" He started with the easiest question.
She gave Harry a sheepish grin. "I...well... I didn't see it coming. I really enjoyed your company, talking to you and sharing the head duties with you." Her smile disappeared. "However, with you gone, it would… never be the same again."
Harry chuckled uncomfortably. "It's not as if I am leaving Hogwarts. I would still be around."
"It would not be the same though. Without you around it would be so boring." Her voice was heavy with emotion and Harry was again starting to fear the worst. "I... would surely miss... you." She almost whispered, afraid that Harry would hear her. He heard her clearly though.
Harry gulped and focused on reigning in his emotions. He took a deep breath as Susan looked up at him. He opened his mouth to say something but it seemed he had lost his voice.
"I am sorry." Susan said quickly when Harry didn't say anything. "I am just... so confused. I don't even know what I am saying." She stood up suddenly, the chair almost toppling over. "I... guess I should be going." She was trying hard not to meet Harry's eyes but failed. Catching Harry's surprised gaze she said. "Get well soon." And she almost ran out of the infirmary.
Harry however, was frozen to the spot looking blankly where Susan's head was a moment ago.
Such was his confused mental state that he had involuntarily entered Susan's mind and read her thoughts. Stuff he should have never known about.
I love you Harry. I love you so much. I... just can't tell you.
***B***
It had been an hour since Susan left but Harry's head was still spinning.
Someone loved him. Someone alive. He just didn't know how to react. Should he be happy or sad? How did her feelings affect him? What did it mean to have someone love him? How did it change things for him?
Harry's mind was stretched thin with all the thinking he was doing but he had no answer yet to show for it. He was driving himself crazy.
Harry took a deep breath to try and control his chaotic train of thoughts. Bringing Occlumency into play, Harry began to compartmentalize his emotions and tried to make sense of it all. However, the two loud voices within his head just won't let him.
Susan loves Harry. But he doesn't love her. He likes her. Only as a friend. Harry has to respond in kind. There is no obligation on him to do so. Yes there is. She is the only one who loves him. No one knows that. And there is Ginny too. She doesn't love him. Harry likes her. But he doesn't love her. He does, he just doesn't know it yet. A sorry excuse. Ginny has no feelings for him. She has but she is not aware of it. That's just conjecture. Harry knows that Susan loves him. But he doesn't love her...
And the cycle kept on repeating itself. It was almost self-inflicted torture. Harry was almost to the breaking point and yelled. "Shut up you two!"
Madam Pompfrey came rushing out of the office with surprise. "What's wrong?" She demanded when nothing seemed amiss.
Harry looked slightly embarrassed by his own situation. "Well... you see... these voices in my head just won't shut up."
Madam Pompfrey shook her head in annoyance and returned to her office.
Now she thinks Harry is crazy. He had to tell her the truth. Fat good it did. It was the right thing to do...
Harry gave a loud groan and dropped his head in the pillow.
***B***
"I have an announcement to make." The Headmistress said, standing up behind the staff table after lunch was over. The hall silenced itself waiting for her to continue. Ron and Hermione looked at each other with confusion. Did she have anything to say about Harry? "In light of recent events some tough decisions had to be made to maintain the peace in our school. It seemed that Mr Potter could no longer perform his duties and hence has resigned from the post of the Head Boy." The crowd of students almost instantly broke into loud and vociferous cheers. She never expected them to react in such a manner. It saddened her greatly. She held up the Head Boy badge which was in her palm and stated. "Therefore, a new candidate had to be chosen to replace Mr Potter. After a brief meeting with the staff," she glanced around at the teachers seating at the staff table before returning her attention to the front. "…, we have come to the decision that Mr Ron Weasley would be the perfect choice as a replacement."
The students didn't even let her complete as they all started clapping, some even standing on their feet to acknowledge him. Some of the Slytherins also joined in, much to the Headmistress' surprise.
Ron and the others were stunned by the shocking chain of events. When did Harry resign? And why?
Ron stood up slowly and after making a discrete eye contact with Hermione, he walked up to the staff table.
As soon as the Headmistress pinned the badge to his cloak, the hall burst into a thundering applause followed by loud shouts of wishes and congratulations.
Ron's ears were slightly pink with embarrassment as he fought down the urge to run from the stage. There was something more he had to do and he would not get a better chance than this.
His hand involuntarily touched his wand and suddenly his tension eased and a confident smile spread across his face. He nodded his head towards the professors sitting at the staff table and turned around to modestly acknowledge the students with a raised hand.
When Ron didn't move from the stage, the students quickly quietened down and gave him their complete attention. A small smile spread across Ron's face as he began addressing them after a quick Sonorous charm to his throat.
"Thank you everyone for your support and your kind wishes. I will do my best to live up to your expectations." Ron paused as he surveyed the silent crowd. "It's been more than six years since I have been here and I have learned a lot. I know I am not perfect and I have made my fair share of mistakes." He turned his head towards the Slytherin table. "I have been prejudiced in my thinking and believed in things that were never true from the start. I have been immature in the ways I have treated people for which I am truly sorry." Ron stopped again and bowed his head. The silence remained as the students eagerly waited for him to resume. Ron raised his head up with a flash in his eyes. "However, I have understood my follies and I have finally overcome them. I have learned that everyone is not bad, that everybody deserves a chance and a choice to choose from." Ron glanced down at his gleaming badge. "I am certainly very honoured to be chosen as a Head Boy. My family and friends would be very proud of me." There was a shine in his eyes that everyone noticed. "I will justify this opportunity which had been presented to me by doing everything in my power to bring peace and happiness to this school. I will treat everyone the same and bore contempt for no one. I will stand against any wrong doing and support those in need. I will fight for the weak and push back the oppressors; even if it is You-Know-Who."
There a few gasps which were quickly muffled to ensure that they didn't miss a word. "However, I cannot do all of this alone. I need your help. I need to you to stand by my side and support me in this good cause." Ron's voice became heavy with emotion "I need you all to raise your wand against the dark and show that the beam of light cannot be stopped, nor can it be smothered, that we would keep on shining even through the most difficult times. Make a promise to yourself that you would do your best, that you would not go down without a fight and that you would do everything possible to make this world a better place." Ron's body gave a faint tremble as he drew his speech to a finish. "We may be young and inexperienced, we may not know what lies out there, we may not understand the gravity of our situation but we know this; that the world we are living in now is far from perfect, held together by thin strands of an illusion of peace. If we don't do anything about it right now then it would be too late for all of us." There was a brief silence where Ron just surveyed the crowd and observed their reactions. "You know what I am asking of you. It is dangerous, yes, but there is no other way." With one last look he walked of the stage and back to his seat.
The stunned crowd were silent for a few seconds before they broke into an ear shattering applause which Ron was sure, could be heard all over the Hogwarts Castle.
***B***
"What are you doing, Mr Potter?" Madam Pompfrey exclaimed with confusion.
Harry wore a sheepish grin as he stopped midway through his exercises. "I was just stretching my body." Madam Pompfrey eyed Harry with a sharp look. Harry sighed. "I am tired of sleeping all the time. I am sure all my wounds have healed, thanks to you." He gave her a sweet smile which quickly faltered as he realized his manipulation was not working on her.
Harry sighed again and returned to his bed. "What are you doing, Mr Potter?" He heard her repeat the question and now it was his turn to become confused. He glanced at her but her expressions were unreadable. "Dumbledore had told me that he trusted you more than anyone else." She went on, a sad expression finally capturing her face. "You have broken his trust. You have chosen to walk on the wrong path." She moved closer to Harry, her eyes never leaving his. "It's still not too late for you to amend your ways. Please don't disappoint him, Harry. Please..." She trailed off, unable to find any other words to say to him. They stared at each other for a moment before she returned to her office.
Harry could only stare at the door which closed behind her.
***B***
Harry walked through the double doors of the great hall and as expected all heads turned in his direction. Something was different though. They were smiling, nodding their heads and waving their arms in his direction.
Harry froze in his step, unable to comprehend what was happening around him. His eyes moved towards the Gryffindor table where he found Hermione gesturing towards him.
"Ron! I have saved a seat for you."
Harry's mind went blank as he slowly pulled out his wand. No! What was happening? This wasn't real. Why did he have the Amber wand?
"Ron..." Harry heard a very familiar voice whisper from behind him.
Harry slowly turned around, preparing himself for who he was going to find. However, no amount of preparation was going to help him here.
His breath got stuck in his throat and his eyes widened to their limits. His whole body just froze and his mind went blank.
Standing before him was none other than his own alter ego, the masked marauder, with the Elder wand pointed at Harry's chest. "You took my place Ron and for that I will never forgive you. Your punishment is death by my hands." With a cruel smile and dark cold eyes, he spoke the dreaded words, "Avada Kedavra!" There was a flash of green and then nothingness.
Harry's eyes snapped open as he rose from his bed with his whole body drenched in cold sweat. His hand trembled as he reached for the glass of water. He was not even sure whether he could hold onto the glass.
"Wait! Let me help you." He heard a whisper.
"Ginny?" Harry recognized her voice as he spotted a hand from under the cloak grab the glass and bring it to his mouth. He gulped the cool water down and felt it clean his insides as he closed his eyes and rested his back. "Are you alone?"
"Yes" Ginny pulled the cloak from around her body making her visible to Harry. Concern was etched on her face as her questioning eyes met his. "Had a bad dream?" Harry gave her a stiff nod before looking away. "Want to talk about it?"
Harry shook his head. There was no way he could he tell her that he dreamt about him killing her brother in cold blood? "What are you doing here, anyway?"
"I came to tell you that the first Hogwarts Army meeting is going to take place today in the evening. I brought you some lunch too. Thought you would be hungry." As if on cue, Harry's stomach grumbled earning him a chuckle from Ginny.
"You don't need to trouble yourself with this. Madam Pompfrey can look after me." Harry said without emotion, eyeing the delicious meal.
"I just wanted to ensure you were doing okay." Ginny said looking Harry in his eyes.
Harry gulped a lump which was starting to form in his throat. "You cannot risk being seen with me."
"You don't want me to come and visit you?" Harry didn't respond, his eyes trying to look anywhere but at Ginny. "Alright" He could hear the hurt in her voice. "Take care Harry." She stood there for a moment as if waiting for Harry to stop her but there was no reaction from him.
Harry had to do fight down the voice from his heart that wanted to stop her, wanted her beside him, wanted her to look him in the eyes...
Harry's cold mind won eventually, as Ginny slowly turned around and walked away. Harry watched her as she moved towards the exit, swallowing down his emotions. She glanced back at him one last time from the door and he had to quickly avert his eyes away from her.
The sound of closing of the door told him that she was gone. Even that thought ached his heart. What was wrong with him? Shouldn't he be happy that he had finally succeeded in both of his missions? Then why did he feel so terrible? Why were his insides churning and his heart moaning in pain? Was he sick with some kind of disease or something?
All he knew that his life was in a complete mess. He no longer knew what he wanted to do. Everything was so muddled up in his head that he couldn't make head or tail of what he was thinking about.
So he smacked his head into the pillow. Little help it did…
***B***
Hermione waited along with the others by the door to an enlarged classroom as students walked in. In fifteen minutes almost all of the candidates from the three houses had arrived and the noise inside was growing louder by the second. She had mentally counted the arriving students and only two were left unaccounted for.
When the corridors became empty and no one else seemed to be coming, Hermione turned to the others and with a slight nod they moved inside.
However, before they could close the doors, they heard someone outside the door. Hermione hoped it was the remaining two but what they saw startled her and the others. A bunch of Slytherins had turned up.
In the lead was a girl who Hermione was familiar with; Tracey Davis. "So all that talk of equality and fair play was just crap talk. You didn't invite a single Slytherin. How will we prove ourselves if you don't give us a chance?"
Hermione knew that she would have to handle this delicate situation. Their alliance was critical for the Hogwarts Army to work at their full potential. At least that's what Harry had said.
Hermione extracted a parchment from her pocket and opened it. "Tracey Davis, right?" she inquired with raised eye brows to which she received a curt nod. Hermione moved her eyes to the other Slytherins gathered behind her and she called out their names as well after referring to the parchment. Each of them were mildly surprised when their names were called out.
"Why do you have our names on that list?" Tracey spoke for the group.
"There are many more names over here and all of them are Slytherins." Hermione gave her a reassuring smile. "And as for why I have your names, you must have already figured that out."
Tracey didn't react. "If that is the case then why weren't we invited?"
"Many reasons. Our main goal is the formation of the Army. Slytherin participation is equally important but we cannot rush this because it would only jeopardize the whole situation." Hermione paused trying to come up with a different tact to convince them. "Even though the relationship between your house and the other three is much better than it used to be, it is still very fragile at the moment. Putting you in the same room as them would be catastrophic." She sighed with relief as she noticed the understanding expressions of the Slytherin students' faces. "You know, if it were up to me or any of us here, we would have got you in the first chance we got. I completely understand how eager some of the Slytherin students are to prove their loyalty. You coming here by yourselves is a good enough proof of that. It may seem like I am refusing your participation but I am only requesting you to bear with us. I promise that we will approach the Syltherins as soon as the time is right."
Tracey sighed and she turned around to share a look with the others. She nodded to Hermione and the others and walked away.
Hermione and the rest let out deep breaths that they were holding as the Slytherins disappeared around the corner. "That was well handled Hermione." Ginny praised her and Neville nodded in agreement. Hermione could only smile in response.
Ron however, was looking curiously at her. "I didn't see a single Slytherin name on the list that you read out."
"Okay, my fault. That list is still with Harry and I don't have a copy." Hermione responded guardedly. "I didn't want to deceive them. Whatever I did was only to diffuse the situation. I-"
"Cool it Hermione." Ron interrupted her, holding her by her shoulders. "No one is accusing you of anything. You thought on your feet and did the best thing that came to your mind. You did great, okay?" Hermione gave a small nod. "Let us go inside. Everyone is waiting for us."
***B***
After distributing refreshments to everyone, Ron walked up to the front of the class to address them. Hermione was moving from student to student speaking with each of them on a personal level in an attempt to understand their reasons to join the Army.
"Thank you everyone for arriving in such huge numbers. I am truly honoured by the support you have showed to me." Ron had everyone's attention if the pin drop silence was anything to go by. "First of all I would like to inform you all that we have complete support from the Headmistress and the other Hogwarts staff members and hence there is nothing you need to hide. Secondly, some of the Slytherins will be joining us later on when we have everything going smoothly. I know we cannot trust them but we will carefully scrutinize their intentions and only then let them in when we are hundred percent certain about where their loyalties lie." Ron reassured the students and the slight nods he received was a good sign.
He noticed that Hermione was almost finished with the students in the first row. He needed to distract everyone by keeping them interested in whatever he had to say. "Some of you are wondering why you have been chosen to be a part of this army in spite of your average duelling skills. It is because you have other skills of value which would greatly help us in the long run. Some of you are excellent at healing, some are good potioneers while some have great flying skills. You can all contribute in different ways to make us stronger than ever. I can guarantee you that within a month we would be a force to be reckoned with." Some of them cheered loudly and a wave of energy seemed to flow through them bringing a smile to Ron's face.
He waited for everyone to settle down and then continued. "Most of you might be worried about how your participation would affect your families. I will not lie to you and tell you that nothing would change. You all might be safe here but your families would possibly be targeted by the death eaters." There were a few gasps of shock but Ron pushed on before fear could take over them. "That being said, it doesn't mean that we cannot do anything about it. We have come up with a few strategies ourselves that could safeguard and protect them from danger and I could even get help from the Minister of Magic who I am confident would certainly hear me out." Some of the students still seemed unconvinced. "There is more. Our role of defense would not be limited to just Hogwarts. We would sometimes work outside the boundaries of this castle to protect our loved ones. I was not lying when I said that we would play a more active role in this war. Everyone would get a chance to prove your mettle and get an opportunity to show what you can do. We may be young but that doesn't mean that we cannot make a difference. Multiply our numbers and our enemies won't know what hit them." Students cheered again but this time more loudly than before. They all seemed pumped up and Ron really liked how he was able to motivate them.
"I had my say and explained to you what is required of you and what you are getting into. Now is the time for you to choose whether you want to be a part of this army or not. I know it is a difficult choice and a lot would be at stake. However, even if you opt out of this proposal, there won't be any hard feelings. You all are free to walk away from here. I just hope you don't regret your decision." He paused for a minute, letting the students think it over.
"We will do this in an orderly fashion. Your names would be called out and each of you would have to get yourself registered with us. You would also have to sign a binding contract that would prevent you from disclosing any details of our army to someone who is not a part of it. It won't be dangerous but as soon as anyone let slip even a minute detail, knowingly or unknowingly, we will find out. So before we begin, is anyone having any second thoughts? If so, you are free to leave." Ron waited for two whole minutes but no one moved. "Excellent! Let us start!"
***B***
"…and after everyone signed the parchment, we moved everyone to the Room of Requirement and had a small initiation party. We had a lot of fun…" Neville trailed off after noticing the discrete shaking of heads of his friends.
"It is alright. I am in no shape to party myself." Harry gave a dry chuckle as he looked around the dark infirmary, moonlight being the only source of illumination. "I guess no one figured out that the refreshments you gave them in the start had Veritaserum in them."
Hermione grinned. "Nor did anyone detect my Legilimency when I asked each of them questions about their motives. However, I couldn't identify anyone who was trying to join us with a malicious intent in mind. It means either everyone is actually on our side or some of them are rather good at hiding their true intentions."
"Of course they all are on our side." Ron said with certainty. "They are not Slytherins."
"Actually, I had already done a detailed background check on all our candidates and there was little chance that I could have allowed a death eater in our midst." Harry remarked, glancing at Ron. "Whoever I left out was either too weak to be a part of our Army or had questionable character or suspect loyalty. I was completely thorough when I made that list." Ron didn't respond and looked away. "Slytherins on the other hand I am not so sure of."
"So how are you going to go about getting them in?" Hermione gave him a questioning look. "As I told you earlier, some of them tried to join us today."
"I have a plan for them." Harry replied vaguely.
Hermione thought of pushing Harry for information but decided against it. Now was not the time. "What about Auror Sam? How do we coordinate with him?"
"You could tell me and I could pass on the information to him." There was nothing more to discuss as everyone stared at each other and then at Harry. Ginny had been quiet from the start and she was trying not to look at him. She seemed gloomy and Harry noticed Luna discreetly pat on her back as if to console her.
"Umm… Harry, where will you go after you leave the Infirmary?" Neville asked with a concerned look on his face drawing away Harry's attention.
"That is going to be a difficult one." Harry answered with a grimace. "Since I am no longer a Head Boy, I would have to return to the common room."
"Merlin Harry! That would be suicidal!" Ron exclaimed and others agreed with him.
"I have a plan for that too." Harry smiled wryly. "And Ron, you are going to help me with it."
***B***
With a deep sigh, Harry pushed through the portrait hole of the Gryffindor common room. He hoped no one would notice his entry but all his hopes went crashing down as every head turned in his direction, hate and anger being the only expressions on their faces. His chances of surviving this encounter were diminishing by the second as the air in the room suddenly became hostile. It looked as if every Gryffindor had been waiting in the common room to get a piece of him.
The path which lead to the stairs was blocked by the raging crowd of students and some were even moving in to block his escape route. He realized that he was not in control of the situation. Merlin help me.
He tried to push his way through but they pushed him back. Some of them were even reaching for their wands. Harry stopped struggling and smiled maliciously. "Ganging up on me like cowards. Didn't know Gryffindors were such pussies."
Everyone raised their wands as one, outraged by the insult. Harry didn't react though and maintained a neutral expression on his face.
Before a spell could be cast someone yelled out. "Hold it!" It was Ron and everyone seemed to obey him. He pushed through the students and walked right before Harry, digging his wand into Harry's chest. "I will not have you slandering the name of our house on my watch, Potter." Ron said sharply. "There would be grievous consequences if you crossed the line again. This is your final warning." Harry's smirk faltered slightly and he broke eye contact. Ron looked around at the students surrounding him. "Don't play into his hands. He hungers for all the attention that you give him. You want to make his life miserable? Ignore him. Treat him as if he is not even there. If he gives you any trouble, come to me." Ron turned to Harry with a cruel smile on his face. "I will ensure that he gets expelled." Everyone nodded in agreement and moved out of Harry's way.
Harry quickly slipped through the opening before something else could happen. He had to give it to Ron though. He wasn't a bad actor himself.
***B***
Harry was sitting right at the back of the class as Professor Flitwick lectured them on some advanced charms. Harry felt really bored. It had only been two days since he was released from the Infirmary and the hectic week before that had really kept him on his toes. It seemed he was going through a dull phase now.
And then his Portkey vibrated, bringing an eager smile to his face. Swallowing a modified version of Fever Fudge that didn't have any side effects, he quickly moved towards the front of the class interrupting the Professor. He could feel his body already begin to heat up and the look the Professor's face indicated that he was looking worse. "Professor, I… don't feel so good. Can I-"
"Yes Mr Potter, you may go to the Infirmary. Do you need someone to escort you?" He asked with concern.
"No Professor, I… I should be fine." Harry quickly left the class and swallowed the antidote while he searched for a hidden spot. After changing his appearance, he activated the Portkey to its destination. It seemed a ward had been tripped.
An invisible Harry appeared in a spot surrounded by bushes with a huge multi-storey house standing imposingly before him, its marble shining under the afternoon sunlight. The large front door was left ajar indicating that the death eaters were already inside.
Still invisible, Harry rushed in without making any noise and found a death eater standing just behind the door looking the other way. It seemed they were looking for someone and had placed someone here to cut-off the exit.
Harry took him out without missing a beat and searched the rooms on the ground floor. He found another death eater standing guard at the backdoor entrance. He didn't even see Harry coming. Harry combed the floors, taking out a few more in the process as silently as possible. The house was disturbingly quiet and Harry didn't know whether that was good news or bad news.
Suddenly, he heard a commotion above him and a loud scream broke through the house. Harry apparated to the floor above him and searched the rooms without caring for the noise he was making. He was not going to let anyone else die.
"Tell me what I need to hear and I will end this suffering for you." Harry heard a familiar voice above the shrill cries of pain, coming from behind a door in the corner.
Harry burst through the door with his wand at the ready but the death eater was facing the door and Harry lost the element of surprise. The death eater broke the Cruciatus curse and blocked Harry's furious assault which was threatening to overwhelm him. He seemed skilled but not enough to trouble Harry. The death eater was forced back into a balcony which overlooked a steep cliff with raging waters flowing almost a thousand feet below it. Harry maintained his assault without giving his quarry a chance to attack.
One of Harry's cutting hexes seeped through the death eater's defences and managed to shatter his mask, revealing the face hiding behind it. Lucius Malfoy.
There was a mixture of rage, hatred and helplessness on Malfoy's face as Harry's assault pushed him to balcony railing. Although Harry's face remained expressionless, a torrent of thoughts were going through his mind. He knew that Draco was reluctant to come over to his side because of his father. He knew it was his fear of his father that was stopping him. This meant there was only one thing that Harry could do; kill Lucius Malfoy. It was vital for his plans that Draco turned and got support from Slytherin. He had to do it, even if it was in cold blood. There was no other option.
Harry managed to disarm Malfoy, whose wand went flying from his hand and into the river below. Harry expected him to beg for mercy or come at him with a desperate attempt to save himself but what Malfoy did completely surprised him.
He glanced behind him and looked back at Harry with sad look in his eyes. "You are going to kill me, aren't you?" Harry remained silent with a blank look on his face. "You don't have to tell me. I can see it in your eyes." He closed his eyes and a sense of serenity took over his face, waiting for death to claim him.
Harry's wand shook for a moment before he gritted his teeth. Why was this being so difficult for him? He had done it before and he knew he could kill again. Moreover, he detested Malfoy and there was a lot to gain from his death. He just had to do it.
Harry heard someone move behind him and found the person who was being tortured looking in their direction. His chest heaved with painful breaths and he had small cuts and bruises all over him but it seemed he would live. Harry returned his eyes to Malfoy who still remained stationary in his place.
Bringing all the hatred for that man standing before him into his wand, he said the words. "Avada Kedavra!"
The killing curse struck Malfoy whose body slumped over the railing and disappeared from view. Harry had disapparated even before Malfoy's body fell over. It seemed he could no longer stay in a place where he executed someone in cold blood. How was he even going to face Draco, the son of someone he murdered?
***B***
Harry stared blankly at the infirmary ceiling trying to arrange his chaotic thoughts. He didn't know whether he made the right decision or not. He didn't know what the consequences of his actions would be. He didn't know what he was doing anymore.
Earlier, he had gone to the Infirmary after returning from his adventure. Madam Pompfrey was not amused at his arrival but she didn't trouble him much. He had taken another Fever Fudge to show her the symptoms and she had reluctantly assigned him a bed after pouring down a rather bitter potion down his throat.
Harry's thoughts moved to Malfoy junior. Draco must have realized by now that his father was dead. How was he going to react to this news? Was Draco going to do as he predicted or would it just push him over the edge? Harry had taken a big risk and he hoped he had done the right thing.
Gathering his thoughts, he stood up from his bed and left for the exit. As he opened the door, the first thing he saw was a student with blond hair, wearing Slytherin robes and standing right before him, looking anywhere else but at him.
"I want out."
