Lost. Chapter 28
A/N: This chapter will be a little different than other chapters. Point of views will change often and at some times will show multiple sides.
In the middle of a gun fight
In the center of a restaurant
They say, come with your arms raised high
Well they're never gonna get me
Like a bullet through a flock of doves
To wage this war against your faith, in me
Your life, will never be the same
On your mothers eyes, say a prayer, say a prayer!
Now but I can't
And I don't know
How we're just two men as god had made us
Well I can't, well I can
Too much, too late or just not enough of this
Pain in my heart for your dying wish
I'll kiss your lips again
They all cheat at cards and the checkers are lost,
My cellmate's a killer, they make me do push-ups (in drag)
But nobody cares if you're losing yourself...am I losing myself?
Well I miss my mom
Will they give me the chair, a lethal injection
Or swing from a rope if you dare
Ah, nobody knows all the trouble I've seen
No but I can't
And I don't know
How we're just two men as God had made us
Well I can't, well I can
Too much, too late or just not enough of this
Pain in my heart for your dying wish
I'll kiss your lips again
To your room
What they ask of you
They'll make you want to say "So long"
but I don't remember
Why remember, YOU!
Do you have the keys to the hotel?
I'm gonna strike the motherfucker on fire! (FIRE!)
Life is but a dream for the dead,
And well I, I won't go down by myself
But I'll go down with my friends.
Now now now now (I can't explain)
Now now now (I can't complain)
Now now, yeah!
Lyrics to Do You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison by My Chemical Romance
"How did the mission go?" Feliciano asked. The Italian leaned over his desk. He rested his head over his gloved hands and looked at his fratello, his eyes shining and lips pulled back other his white teeth in a smirk. He knew the answer already but he wanted to hear it come from Romano and see the pride in him at completing his first mission.
Romano's white teeth smiled back at Feliciano and his eyes darkened dangerously, "It was a success." he reported, "Antonio and Ivan is dead now and we have captured Francis, as you have requested."
Feliciano nodded approvingly. He had to admit, his older brother was turning out to be one of his best allies. He had the guts and the drive; he might be able to take them to victory. Romano could help his brother and his band of misfits succeed and make those who had ruled over them and taunted them pay. They finally had their moment to shine, to be the ones to rise above and rule. It brought joy to Feliciano that his brother would be able to be a part of this and be able to share the satisfaction and delight of seeing those who had been so strong crumble under their hands.
Feliciano stood and clapped a hand over Romano's shoulder, "Good joy, Fratello. You did well!" he praised him and smiled. He made contact with Romano's golden eyes and was pleased to see they too were hardened and hungry for more. Feliciano let out a chortle and smirked.
"When is our next mission?" Romano asked, his unflinching gaze burrowing into Feliciano's own unwavering stare.
Feliciano smiled, pleased with his enthusiasm, "Unfortunately, it is not for a while now. We're just going to give them some time to get settled in America and then Mattie has his men ready to commence the next set of plans. But I'm sure there will be plenty for you to do and I'm sure Mattie could use some help." Feliciano purred.
Romano smiled, obviously liking Feliciano's response. He nodded respectfully, "Is there anything you would like me to do?" he asked.
Feliciano shook his head. He paused, his eyebrows knitting together. He smirked at an idea that popped into his head, "Actually, you can do one thing."
"Si?"
"Send Peter in, will ya?" Feliciano smirked, his brown orbs gleaming. Romano looked surprised for a moment but nodded again.
"Yes." he simply answered before going out. Within a few minutes, Peter opened the door and peeked through. Feliciano motioned him in and the small boy came close, his smirk mirroring Feliciano's.
Time seemed to fly by. The paper work was hastily brushed off the desk to the floor and was replaced by Peter. Feliciano pinned him to the table and pressed their lips together in a crushing kiss. Peter wrapped his arms around Feliciano's neck and pulled him close. A fire seemed to spark within Feliciano; though not the spark he had felt when his skin accidentally brushed against Ludwig's. It felt oddly different and he couldn't explain how.
He thrust his tongue in Peter's mouth and tasted the inside of his mouth. He swept along the roof of his mouth and let his eyes drift close. Peter wrapped his legs around Feliciano's waist, causing a groan to escape from Feliciano's mouth and into Peters. Their hot breaths mingled and their hands wandered and explored the rest of each other's bodies. Both were desperate for affection but both seemed to be unsatisfied and wanted more.
The fire intensified, Feliciano realized. It burned within him, craving more. Each kiss was like blowing air onto a fire and making it flame up, consuming anything near or around it. He forced himself close to Peter, their bodies so close that he could feel him everywhere but at the same time, his mind was elsewhere and Peter was nowhere. He did not feel Peter's small arms around his neck. Instead, he felt strong, warm arms holding him close, gently exploring the curves of his body. Arms that the simple touch caused him to feel warmth spread across his chest and through his body, taming the fire of want. He did not feel his body against his; instead he felt his own back against the soft sheets of a bed and felt a strong, chiseled body enveloping his, surrounding him completely with a feeling of safety and comfort. He did not feel Peter's bruising lips; he only felt bigger, fuller and gentler kisses, moving from his lips to his jaw and leaving a line to his neck where they gently kissed the tender skin and whispered words of love to him.
The fire was not the reaction of wanting more of Peter; but of wanting more than Peter. He knew who that person was; it was the person he hated the most yet whom he had also wanted the most.
No sooner had he realized this that there was a knock at the door. Feliciano, half glad for an excuse, pulled up and quickly straightened his disheveled hair, avoiding the curl, and smoothing out his uniform. Peter was also soon up from the desk and making himself decent.
"Who is it?" Feliciano asked, sounding as though he had a grip on the situation. He knew he was confused; why was he still having these feelings for a man who he hated, who had caused him so much pain, who had been a catalyst that had caused him to form his plan? Luckily though, his voice was more reliable than his thoughts and emotions and he was able to stay cool and collected despite the swarm of emotions in his mind.
"We have a new prisoner," one of Feliciano's guards grumbled in a rough voice.
Feliciano smiled and he wondered who his new prisoner was. Part of him hoped it was Germany but the other, stronger part hoped it wasn't. That would take all the fun out of his plan.
"Come in."
The door was opened and parted to reveal a dead man...or at least a man Feliciano had thought was dead. Green eyes stared at him with an unreadable expression. His arms were held by a guard on either side of his body and did not seem uncomfortable despite having been captured. In fact, he looked almost comfortable.
"Antonio?" Feliciano asked, remembering to keep his cool. He nodded to the guards who sat the Spaniard in a chair and closed the door, taking the care to lock it as well. Antonio sat in the chair as if it was just a business meeting. Not only did this confuse Feliciano but it infuriated him he had the nerve to look so calm and casual in his office when he had been told he was dead. Romano HAD told him he was dead. Killed him himself. So why was he sitting before him looking so calmly?
Feliciano smirked. If Antonio could play games; so could he. He sat down in his desk chair and folded his hands over the oak surface. He scanned the Spaniards body for a moment. The Spaniard stared back at him almost as if he couldn't decide whether or not he should speak first. Feliciano's mouth curved into a smile that would make even the Cheshire cat jealous. He leaned back casually and Antonio seemed to let out a breath that Feliciano hadn't realized the Spaniard had been holding.
"So, what brings you to my office?" he asked. Maybe sounding like a school principle would help him to relax...not that he wanted him to. He wanted Antonio to fear Feliciano and his brother but he wanted to test and see how the Spaniard would act. Part of him hoped he would act cocky so he could beat some respect into him but another part of him wanted him to tremble and quake with fear.
"U-uh..." the Spaniard stuttered. It was as if he had suddenly gotten cold feet. It caused Feliciano's eyes to sparkle with a twisted delight. He loved to see others react this way to him. It reminded him that he was in power now. People took him seriously now. They no longer thought of him as the weak Italian who only waved white flags and ran to Ludwig for help. He was not that person he had pretended to be anymore. He wanted to make those who had been cruel to him to wave a flag and run to Ludwig for help. He wanted to make them all break; break like the way Feliciano had broke. No matter how much he wanted to deny it, he still had the ugly scars marring the tan skin on his wrists as a constant reminder of his weakness and also a reminder of how strong he had gotten since then.
"Spit it out." He ordered sharply.
Antonio took a deep breath and forced himself to relax. Not only did he surprise Feliciano but he surprised himself by looking straight into the Italians eyes. His green eyes were calm and respectful; not filled with hatred or fear or betrayal or anything Feliciano expected from him.
"I want to join your side." Antonio declared. Feliciano blinked at the Spaniard but kept his face straight. He leaned over on his desk, propping his head up with his hands again. An amused smile took the grins place and his eyes glistened with anticipation. He really wanted to hear this now.
"Do you now? That's awful strange considering we've tried to kill you twice now...that is...unless you still don't remember the first time." Feliciano smirked at his words hit his target. Antonio flinched at the words but much to Feliciano's surprise, he smoothed a determined expression on his face.
"I do not remember much except for a few little spots of memory." Antonio told him respectfully. From his tone, it sounded as if he was at a job interview and in a way, he was. Only, if he couldn't get Feliciano to trust him, there was a chance that he would be added to the quickly growing list of fallen countries. He had already risked blowing Romano's cover by coming here but he could not stand to let his little tomato to be in any sort of danger. He still didn't like Romano being part of Feliciano's group even though it was just to spy. If anything, that made it worse. Feliciano was unpredictable. He may be very capable of killing his own brother if he found out he was spying for Feliciano's enemies.
"I see." Feliciano nodded, "So if you can't remember much, why are you here?"
Antonio took a breath. He knew this was the most important part of all. He had to sell his story and make it look believable. If he didn't, he risked his life and possibly Romano's cover and he could not let that happen.
He looked straight into Feliciano's eyes in an unwavering, determined stare. He bit back his grin of satisfaction when he saw Feliciano's expression look surprised for just a fraction of a second.
"I can remember little spots of memory from my past. Like for example, I know England was an enemy of mine and we still have grudges against each other. Ever since I lost my memory, Romano had been the one caring for me...or so I thought. Back with the others, England had turned everyone against me but Romano stayed with me. He was patient with me while the others quickly grew impatient. He was the only one I could feel comfortable around. He helped me to forget the cruelness of the others. Then he tried to kill me." Antonio took a pained breath, working a few tears into the corners of his eyes. "Without him, it felt as of everyone hated me. They teased me and picked on me constantly and filled my head with horrible memories that I knew weren't true. I became their fun game; they locked me out of their shelters and made me sleep outside. They shunned me from their group and I can take it anymore. I can't take their cruelness and they're sick games. I want to be treated better. I want revenge."
Antonio let the last sentence hang in the air. He was trembling like a leaf. Feliciano could see the angry scowl on his face and took it for his strong desire, no, his need for revenge. Antonio tried to calm the rapid beating of his heart. It felt as though it was going to break through his rib cage and burst from his chest. He hoped desperately that his story would work. He could practically see his and Romano's fate hanging above his head by a thin string.
Feliciano stayed silent. So Antonio sighed and finished his speech, "I-I realize what I have done to Romano in the past. I have hurt him badly and I do not blame him for what he did. But I am a changed man now. I want to make things better between him and me. I want to help him get revenge for what the others did. Despite what he did to me..." Antonio took a breath. This part he wasn't faking and it was hard to say aloud. He had started to realize it himself but he hardly wanted to admit it. It just felt so weird when he hardly knew Romano yet he also felt as though he knew him so well, "Despite what he did to me, I still love him. I love him with all my heart. I feel horrible for what I did and I understand if he doesn't want to see me or talk to me but I just want him to know how sorry I am for hurting him."
The air seemed to become too hot and the room too cramped. He pulled at the collar of his shirt trying to let air in. He could feel his face flaming red. His heart was pounding faster in his chest that it was like it was going to fly away and he would have no chance of helping his tomato. His sweaty hands dropped to his lap and trembled once more.
Feliciano rubbed his chin with a hand. He leaned back in his chair, thinking with a blank expression. Antonio gulped and waited for his sentence. Time seemed to freeze and Antonio's heart only seemed to beat furiously, almost painfully. Feliciano seemed to notice and took even more time, occasionally "hmmm"ing in thought.
Antonio froze when Feliciano glanced up at him with an unreadable expression. He held his breath, scarcely daring to breath. The string holding his and Romano's fates seemed to be thinning.
Oh God, what have I done!
Feliciano put his hands on the table and looked up at Antonio, the corners of his mouth being tugged by a frown. Antonio's heart stopped right then, panic coursing through him faster than any drug.
I'm sorry, Lovi! Please, forgive me!
"Fine." Feliciano said. Wait what? "But consider yourself on probation. If I think for a moment that you causing trouble or are disloyal, I will kill you, no questions asked!"
Antonio's heart started up again and a relieved smile spread across his tan face. Feliciano glared back to assure that his message was received
"Thank you very much, sir! I promise you won't be disappointed!" Antonio exclaimed happily. Feliciano rolled his eyes.
"I'll believe it when I see it. I have to discuss something upstairs so I guess I'll show you to your room." Feliciano groaned. He stood up and Antonio was surprised by how large the Italians muscles were. They weren't the size of Ludwig's or Ivan's or Alfred's but for his size, they were considerably large. Antonio stood up, grin on his face and shoulders back. He could 'prove' himself to Feliciano. He would protect his Romano and keep him from any harm.
Feliciano gracefully strode around from the back of his desk. Antonio fell into step beside him as the pair approached the door. Feliciano silently opened the door and left it open wide for Antonio to slide through. Antonio closed the door as Feliciano requested and followed him to a small empty room on the second floor.
"Romano's room is the last on the right. Do not bother him yet; I must speak with him. You have a task anyway. Mattie should have chained Francis in the basement. Your job is to fill the bucket in the basement with water from the sink and make him drink it. You are not allowed to let him refuse it; he must drink it." Feliciano told him, staring into Antonio's eyes, searching for any signs of doubt. Antonio smirked and nodded.
"As you wish." he said. He and Feliciano walked in stride down the hallway until Feliciano turned to go into Romano's room. As Antonio walked past, he bit his lip. He prayed that he didn't get Romano in trouble in any way.
He doubted Feliciano could hurt his brother for that reason but he didn't want any harm to come upon his little tomato.
Feliciano pushed the door to Romano's room open and peered inside. He scanned the room with a quick eye. The room was mostly empty as Romano hadn't brought any personal objects other than his clothes. He quickly spotted his fratello sitting on his bed. His back was propped against the bed and he had a book spread open across his lap. His eyebrows were knitted together and his golden eyes quickly scanned the crisp pages. His thumb sat just above the top corner of the page, ready to turn when he reached the end of his page.
Feliciano cleared his throat and Romano's head snaps up. Feliciano chuckled, curious to see if Romano knew about the Spaniard. Romano relaxed and smirked up at his brother. He slid his book mark into place and shut the book.
"Hey Feli." he greeted his brother casually. Maybe he hadn't known of the Spaniards alliance with them. Nether the less, he hadn't done his job properly and he must be punished.
Before Romano had any time to see it coming, Feliciano slapped his face, sending him reeling back into the bed. Tears sprung to the corners of Romano's eyes and a hand reached up to gingerly touch his red cheek. Confusion, betrayal and fear illuminated his golden eyes. Feliciano's lips curled back in a snarl.
"You told me the Spanish bastard was dead!" Feliciano snapped at him angrily. Romano seemed to break out in a nervous sweat. Feliciano grinned. He must really believe that he would kill his own brother. If Romano thought it, who was just an ally, then his enemies must know it too.
"H-he was dead!" Romano stammered. His voice was laced with fear and perhaps uncertainty, "He was dead! I know he was!"
"He obviously isn't. He asked to join us as an ally?" Feliciano spat at him calmly. He never raised his voice to Romano, his tone said it all and his eyes reinforced his words. Romano started to tremble out of fear.
"H-he did? W-what d-did you say?" he asked quietly. Feliciano rolled his eye at how weak he sounded.
"Calm down. I'm not going to hurt you anymore," he coldly retorted, "I told him that he was on probation. If anyone suspects that he is disloyal or using us, he will be killed."
Romano was silent. He bit his lip and glanced away. Feliciano could see a thousand different thoughts swimming in his mind. He found himself wondering what he was thinking. Did he speak to quickly? His brother did only make a mistake. The Spaniard had hurt his older brother and he had let him join them without even discussing it with Romano. Romano was still his brother and had wanted to help his younger brother so passionately. He had been brave and fought past his injuries and learned to fight. He pushed past his fears just for Feliciano. Shouldn't he be more trusting of him?
"Do you not want him apart of our alliance?" he asked. His tone was much softer though still hard. He couldn't allow himself to get that relaxed around anyone. No matter what his heart said, his brain told him that he could only trust himself.
Romano relaxed more at the softening of Feliciano's voice. He looked back and shook his head. "No." he whispered silently.
Feliciano waited, expecting him to continue. When he didn't, he spoke up, "Fine. He can stay but as soon as you want him gone, I will dispose of him myself."
Romano nodded quickly. His hand fell away from his still red cheek. Feliciano could see an imprint of a hand in his skin.
Did I really slap him that hard?
Feliciano rewarded him with a pat on the opposite cheek. "Sorry about that fratello."
Romano flinched away from his touch but relaxed when he was not struck. He just nodded at Feliciano. Feliciano was not bothered by it as he usually would. He understood Romano's position. He would be confused as well if their roles had been reversed and it had been Ludwig who asked to be his ally and spoke as passionately as the Spaniard did. Then again, he should know that could never happen. Ludwig never cared about him and could never speak like that. Antonio could. He was the country of passion. Ludwig was just emotionless and uncaring. He was done getting his hopes raised for Ludwig. He was only ever disappointed.
Feliciano forced a chuckle and went to the door. "Antonio's room is the old storage room down the hall. You can't miss it." he told him. Romano looked up and nodded. Feliciano couldn't bear to see his red cheek or see those golden eyes of his. He quickly turned on his heels and left the room, closing the door behind him and leaving Romano to himself more confused than he ever had been before.
Maybe my plans weren't the way to go...Maybe I still do have feelings for Ludwig. What am I talking about? I hate that bastard. He deserves what's coming for him… and I'm looking forward to watching him beg for mercy.
A/N: Sorry for waiting so long guys. I've had a major case of writers block. I worked really hard on his chapter and I'd appreciate some reviews. I'd love to see suggestions or how you think the story is going so far. Thank you!
