* Chapter Twenty-Eight *
The highlight package.
Foreboding makes my stomach churn and Cato's grip on my hand has tightened to the point of pain, but I barely notice it. My heart is thundering in my chest as I realise that this is it. This is the moment where I have to relive all the "most exciting" moments of the Games. If it weren't for Cato's presence, his body behind me and his grip on my hand as an anchor, I can almost guarantee that my body would be freezing up and my mind shutting down. This clarity of exactly what winning the Games alone would have been like, makes me feel as though I've been thrown into another tree. My chest tightens and the only thing that allows me to breathe is Cato.
In some ways it's more awful than I ever could have expected. In other ways it's not. Every year a team of people must work frantically to put a piece together in time for the Victory Ceremony. This year however, they've had their work really cut out for them. This year, they've had to follow the story of not just one person, but four. It's made easier by Katniss and Peeta being in the same district, but it's clear from the beginning that the sheer amount of footage they're packing into the few hours recap is going to be phenomenal.
It's the first time I can remember seeing a recap with voice overs too. While the reapings of the most important players in this year's games are shown, excerpts from interviews, supposedly private conversations and the Games themselves are played.
Instead of starting with District One like they normally do, the first Reaping they show is mine and cut over it is what Fletcher and Tillia said to me in the Justice Building.
"Listen, Rose. You can fight. You've trained-"
"Not to kill people," I hear myself mutter.
"You can do it," Fletcher's voice is just as certain as I remember, "I know you Rosilda. I know you better that anyone else and I know you can win this."
"You're strong. Stronger than all of them!" Tillia's voice shakes with emotion, but there's a fierceness in it that can't be ignored.
"The strongest of all of us. You can win, Rose."
The camera cuts from an image of Linden and I standing side by side as the train doors close on us, to a sweeping bird's-eye view of the forest. It's District Seven and my breath catches at the beauty of the bird's-eye-view. The river, like spilled ribbon, winds it's way through the green and the sky is pale as the sun rises.
"So do you want to hear my top five, or have you completely written me off?" my voice drips with sarcasm and a shot of the dining car on the train flashes across the screen. It's a bad angle, but Johanna is unmistakable and the moment she replies, the other reapings start to play. I name Brinna first and my throat closes with emotion as I hear the detached way I speak about her and watch her walk slowly to the stage. Her head is lowered, but that just makes her copper hair shine brighter in the sun. Then I mention Thresh. My grip on Cato's hand tightens and his thumb starts rubbing small circles onto my hip. The clip they give shows a close up on both his and Rue's face. District Two's reaping is played next and my initial thoughts spoken to Johanna are woven in with some of the things I confessed to Cato during the last days of the Games. The difference in tone makes it clear to me when I've spoken, but there's a quick shot of Cato smirking and leaning forward to kiss me inside the cornucopia to remind everyone else. Then my tone turns positively sardonic as I start on Katniss. They show District Twelve from the moment Katniss pushes forward and screams that she volunteers and my voice weaves in and out adding my insight to the events.
The audio overs continue all throughout the build up to the Games. I soon see why too, because it seems the Capitol truly did have to piece together what happened between Cato and I. Things both of us said during the Games are used with security camera footage from the Training Centre and behind the stage of the Interviews. Of course the clip where Cato lifts me into the chariot is also included with a montage of clips from various Capitol news broadcasts that somewhat contribute to the entire story. For me, there are glaringly obvious things that are missing from the Capitol's story of Cato and my relationship before the Games. They missed the entire part where he told me about the roof, the conversations with Johanna during training and after the interview. Katniss and Peeta's story is woven into ours too of course and the contrast is exceptionally obvious.
Katniss and Peeta are sweetness and innocence. Cato and I are still romanticised of course, but they don't shy away from me declaring I hate him, from Cato's mentors grilling him and harshly ordering him to do whatever it takes to get me in the alliance. There's a whole thirty seconds dedicated to me storming from the elevator, hurling my shoes around, smashing the vase and then crumpling to the ground. The only sound is my quiet sobs. The scene cuts away from Johanna and Linden finding me to Cato his head down and his feet dragging as he moves back into District Two's quarters. Behind me Cato has buried his face in my neck and is breathing deeply. His body shakes slightly behind me as he lifts his head to kiss my cheek and murmur apologies into my ear.
"You don't have to apologise" I whisper back, carefully repositioning so that I'm curled in his lap and can nuzzle into his neck, "It's all part of how we got to be here so I wouldn't change a second."
Cato's arms wrap around me protectively,"I would. I wish I could. I hate knowing that I made you cry. That I hurt you-"
"Shhh," I whisper, lifting my head to kiss his lips softly, "I'm okay now and that's because of you."
Cato shakes his head slightly, but kisses me back sweetly as I press my lips to his once more and then intertwine our fingers as I turn back to the screen.
"So?" Enobaria is demanding, getting to her feet the moment Cato enters the dining room. The tension in the air is notable and for once Clove is not smirking. Her own head is down, but she shoots Cato an anxious glance that turns to one of panic as his shoulders slump further.
"I failed," he says in a clipped voice, "She won't be joining the Alliance."
"I told you it was a terrible idea," Clove bursts out, but shrinks away as Enobaria bares her teeth at her and growls angrily.
"Both of you get out of my sight. You might as well kiss your lives goodbye," she snarls, "At least they can't turn you down and humiliate you and our entire district!"
Cato and Clove both leave the room and move in silence down the corridor, but then Cato stops, "She hates me," he whispers, "I hurt her Clove, I think I really hurt her."
The dark haired girls' mouth twists and I can see the mocking come-back on the tip of her tongue, but then she stops and stares at Cato a moment, "You're an idiot," she states instead, "You never should have taught her how to throw the spear. That's when you went stupid."
Cato shakes his head and Clove does the same a moment later, "No, it was the moment you saw her," she's quiet for a moment, peering at Cato intently, then her dark eyes soften, "I don't think she hates you."
"You heard her. You saw her," his voice cracks on screen and behind me Cato draws in a deep breath, his arm tightening around my waist. I turn my chin into him and squeeze his hand reassuringly.
"What did you do?" Clove whispers staring at him, "Fuck Cato, you're not supposed to look like shit the night before the Games start! What did you do?"
"I kissed her," Cato mutters and drags a hand through his hair and across his face, "I kissed her and…"
Clove's eyes widen, "You actually did what Enobaria told you to?"
Cato on screen shakes his head and groans, "I did something even worse," he whispers, "worse than kissing someone on orders."
"You wanted to," Clove murmurs her mouth dropping open, "Like… more than just lust, wanted to. Damn it Cato!" she scowls darkly, "You couldn't just have some fun with Glimmer?"
He doesn't respond, just shakes his head and closes his eyes. Clove inhales deeply and concern reappears on her face as she evaluates him. Then she reaches out and touches his shoulder, "I'm not good at this feelings crap, but," she exhales noisily, "she's got a chance Cato. A good chance. You'll see her again. You just have to decide if you want her to see Cato the tribute, or Cato the person," her lips curl up, "She probably thinks you have multiple personalities with all the crap you've been pulling."
"You're shit at this comforting thing," Cato states, shaking her hand off his shoulder, "Absolutely fucking terrible."
Clove rolls her eyes, "The way I see it, you've now got some actual experience to put in your spank-bank so stop your whining and—"
The camera cuts away as Cato let out an indignant cry and shoves Clove away from him with a scowl. The sound of her laughter carries over to the next scene which is a bird's-eye view of the arena. Dramatic music booms over the speakers and the voices of Capitol presenters announcing that it is the big day, lap over each other as the view of the arena time lapses until the tributes rise up.
I take a long deep breath and try to detach as I watch the next hour and a half. I see Brinna, Linden and Peeta run into the forest. I watch myself fight Bien and am shocked to see Katniss sprint further into the bloodbath to tackle a tribute who was sneaking up on Rue. She slashes him desperately with a knife and I realise it's the boy from Six who Cato tried to kill and I took the fall for in Training. He's not much older than Rue, but remembering how desperately Katniss protected her sister I realise it wouldn't matter who had attacked the little girl from Eleven. While I fatally wound Bien, Katniss similarly injuries the young boy. Rue hesitates as Katniss scrambles away from the boy and I gasp as Clove's knife hits her directly in the middle of her forehead. Katniss turns to her and cries out, leaping to catch the little girl as she falls to the ground.
I see Cato's spear stop the young girl from Three stabbing me in the back. The moment where Cato and I stare at each other is intensified by the loud music and by the split screen that shows Katniss forced to leave Rue and sprint for her life. She hitches her backpack higher just in time to protect herself from Clove's knife. Clove might have caught her if she hand't paused to finish off the boy from Six that Katniss had severely injured.
It reminds me that it was really Cato who finished off Bien and that neither she or I would have been credited with a Bloodbath death. Katniss levels Cato with a hate-filled glare that does not match her sweetly innocent costuming. Clove was his district partner and I'm not sure she will ever forget who killed Rue.
The moment Katniss escapes into the trees is the same that I suddenly turn and sprint for the lake. Cato's arms tighten around me in real life as he follows after me on-screen, viciously finishing off Three and only turning away from watching me swim when Clove yells his name. The pair finish the rest of the fight together like they were no-doubt trained to do. Cato protecting Clove as she focuses on bringing down all who try to run with her knives. Together they would have been credited with almost every Bloodbath kill, clinically finishing off those cut down by their allies. It's Marvel who brings the boy from Three into the alliance. Cato dislikes Bomb-Boy from the start and Clove has to hold him back long enough to listen to the plan.
It's interesting to see the Games like this. To feel the way Cato reacts as he sees that I had the opportunity to kill him on the first day and didn't take it. To know how close Katniss was to dying from dehydration. I learn that Glimmer tried to make a move on Cato but was rejected, that Cato practically carried Clove along because she froze up with fear during the forest fire and that Peeta glimpsed Brinna stealing food and distracted Marvel so he wouldn't see. Linden's death is just as sudden and hurried as it was in real life. One moment he's stumbling along beside me and the next he's telling me to run. The cannon seems to go off quicker than I remember too. I throw myself out of the way of a fireball and then stand up and turn back only to have a burning branch fall in my face. His name drops from my lips and then with a sob I turn and start running. The cannon comes almost instantly. Cato whispers promises that it'll be okay in my ear, but I barely hear them. There's a lump in my throat, but I can only cling to Cato and stare at the screen, wishing that I could cry.
It's safe to say that the Tracker-Jacker scene is uncomfortable for all of us. Especially since the Capitol plays the audio of me condemning the Girl-on-Fire to Brinna.
"I was literally stuck up the same tree as her and she tried to kill me. We are nothing to her!"
I can feel the eyes of the pair from Twelve on me for the entire confrontation after the nest. Me covering Glimmer and speaking quietly and Katniss barging in and then attacking me. Peeta throwing me into the tree and then me choosing to help Cato. The hours I spend looking after him is contrasted with the clear panic he feels as he tries to help me after the dog mauled me. The make-out session we had against the tree is coupled with images of Katniss and Peeta both passed out, and Brinna stealing from the Careers as Clove hikes back to the place where the Tracker-Jacker nest fell. She looks desperately for any sign of Cato and it's only a timely sponsor-gift that appears to help her keep it together as she's forced to go back to camp without him. Cato was right, they did send her extra throwing knives. The scene where he returns to the cornucopia and I sit down and bury my face in my hands and wonder aloud why I'm such an idiot is lingered on and it makes Cato lower his head to rest his chin on the top of my head. I know it must be hard to watch his interaction with Clove and it's our turn to pin Katniss with an unforgiving stare.
It's hard to watch me plotting and scheming with Brinna too, and I refuse to acknowledge the stares from Katniss. I want to look away when I watch myself move to put out the fire, but I force myself to watch the short, but violent tussle with the boy from Ten. Peeta stares at me during that too and I wonder if they both assumed it was Cato that killed him.
Cato laughs out loud when Peeta pops out of the riverbank during my monologue, "I knew you were crazy," he whispers, kissing the top of my head tenderly as I clean Peeta's wounds.
Katniss only stares some more.
The rest of the recap is just as hard to watch. I hold Cato tighter when Katniss blows up the supplies and my mocking voice saying,"Goodbye District Three," comes over the speaker as Cato kills him and Katniss drags herself to safety in the knick of time.
Brinna's death does make me cry and because it's coupled immediately with the announcement that two people can win, it makes Peeta and Katniss' eyes bore into me once more. I watch the relief on Clove's face, the hope on Katniss and Peeta's and then the defeat on my own. Thresh is just as stony faced as ever and he shakes his head and snorts, "You're still causing me problems, Seven," he mutters to himself, making guilt churn in my stomach.
The next twenty minutes are dedicated to the action packed last few days. Violence and fighting is sandwiched with the awkward sweetness of Katniss and Peeta and the more passionate scenes of Cato and I. The attentive way that Katniss cares for Peeta surprises me almost as much as Cato and I surprise her. I don't think she thought we were real. I think she thought that our relationship was born from pure lust, hyped up for drama to get sponsors.
"Katniss killed her!"
Knowing now that Katniss tried to save Rue, the lie is all the more terrible. Peeta stares at me in shock and Katniss hides her face in his shirt as her arrow takes Clove's life. Coward.
I whisper in Cato's ear, but his attention is fixed on Katniss. In front of her murderer he shows only rage and the promise of retribution. I refuse to look away as the rest of the violent tussle is lingered on. It is depicted as clear that it was either going to be Thresh or me; one of us was going to die and the blade fell on Thresh's neck. It's the bloodiest death of the Games, made all the more vicious by the psychological elements involved.
Rue was a missing piece of the story. A loose string that the Capitol had found and was now pulling on mercilessly. She had died on the first day, but only because I had befriended her. Katniss and Thresh had wanted to save her. Clove killed Rue. Katniss killed Clove. I tried to kill Katniss and instead killed Thresh.
Then Katniss tried to kill herself…
I barely look away from the screen for the entire recap. I killed people and people I cared about died. I was going to face those facts. Cato's hands tighten to the point of pain when they show me lunging at him and then going limp as he pins me and starts to squeeze my neck. I stroke his face and tell him I forgive him as he stares at me with haunted, horrified eyes. Katniss and Peeta stare some more, especially as Cato then sews up the wound Katniss inflicted and holds me with careful tenderness as I swear like a good lumberjack.
The final scene at the cornucopia when I fling my knife a moment too late to take down the archer makes Cato start to shake. My horrified scream as Cato falls off the cornucopia is followed immediately by me launching myself off it. I look heartbroken and then absolutely feral. I hadn't realised that the mutt I took down as I jumped saved Peeta's life. It gave him the chance to get his feet and seize Cato's fallen sword. The camera moves away from him and focuses on me as I fight my way to Cato's side.
Somehow they manage to linger on the frantic way we cling to each other when I reach him. It can't have been more than a split second before we were fighting for our lives again, but the moment is clear and the relief on my face is undeniable. Nobody can say I jumped for any reason besides him.
We see Peeta bring down a mutt that leaps at him and then climb over it to shelter inside the cornucopia as two more try and come at him. His expression is grimly determined and pained, and his scream when one of the mutts gets hold of his leg is inhuman. I don't know how I missed it, but the memory of the deafening sound of my own blood-thundering in my ears is clear. Cato is on the ground and doesn't react either, but back on top of the cornucopia, Katniss screams too. She's used her last arrow and had thrown her knife at the head of one of the mutts attacking Peeta so is weaponless and simply screams and tries to stop the blood pouring from her shoulder blade where my knife is still deeply embedded. Whilst Katniss had tried to get Peeta back on top of the cornucopia, yelled at him to climb and tried to grab his arm to hoist him to safety, Cato and I were depicted to be constantly fighting to get to the other's side.
When Peeta crumples, Katniss screams and yanks the knife from her own shoulder. She hits one of the mutts sniffing around the mouth of the cornucopia right in the eye and it goes down silently. It's strange the way I missed it. I'm being flattened by a mutt when she first starts yelling, but when she makes her final threat, I'm caught in the split second moment of silent horror at seeing Cato on the ground.
"I'll do it!" Katniss roars holding up a fistful of nightlock berries, furious and hysterical, "Turn me into a mutt too! You won't get a victor! I won't let you have one!"
I look over at her and see that she's staring, transfixed and curiously blank faced at the screen. Peeta looks faintly nauseous beside her and the space between them on the love seat seems to be infinite. Cato shifts under me and his arms tighten as the screen fills with his prone form and my heartbroken horror.
"Cato! NO! You can't have him!" I shriek frantically and the film makes it clear that it's my desperation to save him that gives me strength. Even though my words strangely echo Katniss', they don't seem to realise I had wanted to save my perverted district partner just as much as I wanted to save Cato.
I can't tear my eyes from the screen now, but I press myself closer to Cato and his steady heartbeat to reassure myself he's safe and alive. The cinematography makes it seems that I killed the mutt - Linden's mutt - with my final breaths. It shows that I collapsed onto Cato, capturing my fists clenching around him, holding us together with dying strength. Katniss dropped the berries into her mouth as my eyes fluttered closed. Then suddenly the trumpets are sounding and she's spitting them out. The camera flicks to Peeta, a pool of blood clear around him. Then to Cato and I, being pawed at by mutts but locked together and unmoving. Then it settles back on Katniss as she slumps into unconsciousness herself. I don't know whether it's blood-loss or a tiny amount of ingested poison reaching her stomach, but the screen goes dark and the flatlining sound of a heart monitor replaces all sound. It flatlines for a long time, then suddenly it beeps, and then beeps again. The screen comes back on to show two heartbeats instead of one. Their rhythm strips are slightly different, making it clear they belong to two different people, but they started activity at the same time and they beep in synchronisation for a few beats. The film cuts as they even out and change and it's only the deafening applause from the Capitol that shakes me enough to realise it's over - we survived the tape.
I sag back into Cato and plaster a victorious smile on my face as I clap too.
"That was definitely us," Cato says to me with a smirk, nodding to the screen that had just shown the EKG. It's loud enough for the microphones to pick up and laughter ripples through the applause as I pretend to roll my eyes at boyish competitiveness as he throws a challenging look at Katniss and Peeta.
The pair from Twelve still haven't realised they've separated from each other as they've watched the clip, but when they meet our gaze, Peeta's hand jumps protectively to Katniss and they suddenly reconnect themselves. Peeta's move seemed unconscious, but Katniss glances towards her mentor as she shifts and I wonder at her motivations for her attempted suicide. I knew she was the cause of the problem. I knew she was the reason we had to walk like we were on rotten wood.
"Well now! That was an action-packed tape! My congratulations to Chief Editor Torrent Domitian and our Head Gamemaker Seneca Crane for such a memorable Games and some superb cinematography!" Caesar exclaims, wiping his brow as if he's overwhelmed, "give it up for them!"
When the applause dies down Caesar launches into more questions. The interview starts well, Cato and I field our questions easily enough and Peeta's natural charm carries Katniss too. Still it seems like every question is loaded and I find it increasingly impossible to forget the eyes of the whole country on me.
"Obviously there are many key moments in the Games," Flickerman says slowly and dramatically, his eyes scanning the audience solemnly, then turning to us, "but there are some choices which have a huge impact on the way things play out. Moments when alliances are formed and broken. The choice to run or fight. The choice to lie or tell the truth…"
The way his eyes pause on me makes my stomach turn and I have to concentrate immensely to keep the stress from showing in my expression. Katniss killed her…
"Peeta…" the blonde shifts uncomfortably under Caesar's suddenly fixed gaze, "What made you decide to join up with the Elite Alliance?"
What made you betray your district and ally with the Careers?
"I… I had no choice," Peeta looks down at Katniss and swallows visibly, "After she got her eleven… I had to try and protect her and the best way to do that was by joining those most likely to kill her."
Cato tenses beneath me and lets out a hiss of breath through gritted teeth. I almost turn to comfort him, but then Peeta continues and his words immediately fix my gaze on him.
"Like Linden said in the Interviews: he knew his district partner had a better shot than him, so he knew that if he had to pick… he'd pick her. Katniss didn't have any of Rose's advantages… she needed someone in the Pack keeping an eye out for her too."
"Advantages?" Cato growls, though I can't tell if it's him or me that's shaking, "What did Rose have going for her that The-Girl-On-Fire didn't have?" he hisses furiously, protective arms tightening around me as he leans forward threateningly in his seat.
"You," Katniss is the one who answers, her voice harsh and stony as she unflinchingly meets Cato's eye, "her very own territorial guard dog—"
"Watch it Everdeen," I cut her off in a low menacing tone, "it won't take much for me to show you exactly how territorial I can be."
"Better a guard dog than a whining mutt," Cato adds in a low rumble, his eyes unforgivingly fixed on Peeta, "in Two we put those sort of dogs out of their misery!"
"Then you wouldn't know that the downtrodden are always the ones who best know how to survive!" Katniss spits back with some of the fire that earned her her title.
Unfortunately for her, this statement only makes me laugh. Cato, who had swollen up with even more fury at her condescending, ignorant comment silences under the hand I lay to his chest.
"We wouldn't have got to where we are now if we hadn't had things in our pasts that made us stronger," I inform her quietly, speaking for both Cato and myself, "the difference is, we've risen above what life handed to us and we don't need anyone else to tell us so to make us feel like a victor. I am no longer the same girl I used to be and I am grateful for every single thing that brought me to this moment. You don't keep fighting for a better life just to sit and look back on how 'downtrodden' you were! You thank every single person, event and thing that allowed you to get to where you are and you go on to enjoy the rewards of what you've earned; the glory and honour of victory. Until you can accept what happened, shoulder your mistakes, acknowledge the support you received, feel honoured to be where you are and look at the future without the past clouding your eyes, you have not truly survived."
I hold her gaze strongly, trying to convey the warning hidden in my words. She's digging herself a hole. She's digging herself a grave.
Unfortunately, Katniss is clearly not as intelligent as her mentor thinks she is, because her eyes narrow into slits, "You're grateful!" she all but roars at me, "what is that supposed to mean Aspen?"
"It means," I grind out tersely, "that I will never take the fact that I am sitting here for granted! Twenty-one people sacrificed themselves for the greater good of Panem for me to sit here, Capitol citizens sent me life saving gifts so I could sit here, the districts endured for years so I could sit here. It's thanks to the sacrifices of so many others that I am sitting here, the support of Panem as much as any of my own merits. I'm not a survivor, I'm a victor and I will be grateful and proud of that for every single day of my life, but it won't be my past that defines me. Those that live in the past, corrupt the future and my future is something that I'm only going to protect, because—"
"Otherwise what was the point?" Cato finishes for me in a rather sardonic tone, flashing Katniss a smirk that I'm sure will only disturb her. The crowd is silent for a moment, then a roar of approval starts. The Capitol loves us. The proud, bloody, passionate pair that burn so much brighter and so much more familiarly than Katniss' candlelight and leaping infernos.
"Which is why, I'd like to take the opportunity to say thank you," I turn my attention to the audience with a wide smile and they quieten slightly to hear me, "Thank you to all our sponsors! Thank you to all our supporters! Thank you to each and every one of you that has been with Cato and I for even part of the journey! Your love, your sacrifice and your belief is the reason we have these crowns and it's a reason we're never going to forget."
"You gave Rose and I each other," Cato's grip has tightened to the point of pain again and I can sense a similar intensity under his winning smile that betrays the true extent of his purpose, "I didn't…" he closes his eyes and then turns to look at me, there's frustration in his gaze, but determination too and sensing how important whatever he's trying to do is, I lift my hand to his cheek encouragingly, "I didn't really think… think that… love was real. I now know that it is possible to have something this good and hold onto it and I'm going to hold on," his gaze burns into me and his voice deepens with intensity, "I'm going to hold onto you so tight… or as tight as you will let me."
"Careful Cato," I smirk at him, though my eyes are soft, "haven't you heard that Rose's have thorns?"
"The thorns are what makes the flower all the more beautiful," Cato tells me and it would be pure sweetness but for the devilish glint in his darkening eyes, "I like your thorns."
This makes another shiver of anticipation go down my spine, while the audience gasps and coos. I wouldn't be surprised to learn some of the Capitolites have been reduced to tears. The noise is phenomenal, but after registering that I have succeeded — that we have succeeded — I can block it all out and focus on him. Just him.
It's only been hours and I already know the only thing that'll keep my picks lodged in the tree-trunk, my head above the current and a smile on my face will be him. With Cato at my side, I can navigate the rotten branches of Capitol politics and I can do so without losing sight of the healthy roots.
...
Another wordy chapter, but I think it was necessary to tie up the loose ends and explain exactly how all four of them won. Only a couple of chapters left now, so please let me know what you think!
Thanks so much for all the support!
-xoxo
