A/N: I dont own Twilight
Chapter Twenty-Eight: Charli
As I stared up at Jacob I was finding it nearly impossible to be angry with him. I had practised this moment so many times in my head, but the words I had rehearsed slipped from my mind completely. I wanted to yell at him and pound his chest with my fists. I wanted him to hurt the way he hurt me. But, every time he looked into my eyes or touched my skin, I was like putty in his hands. I had never felt this helpless around a man before and I wasn't sure if I liked it or hated it. Even now as he was gazing down at me I was a complete mess. I could feel my knees' slowly melting underneath me like they were made of wax and Jacob was the fire that was threatening to liquefy them.
He nervously put his hands on my waist and I held my breath as he leaned in closer to me; so close I could feel his breath on my lips. I let my eyes flutter closed, fully understanding that allowing myself to fall in deeper with Jacob Black was going to do nothing but cause me anguish.
"Are you ok?" He whispered his breath hot on my skin.
"I'm-I.." I ached for him to press his lips to mine and I tilted my face upwards waiting for the heat of his mouth to consume me.
"Jacob Black! What the hell do you think you are doing?" We both looked up abruptly and I was shocked to see Leah Clearwater standing a few feet away from us her hair dishevelled, and her feet dirty and bare. I looked up at Jacob confused.
"Leah. What are you doing here?" Jacob asked pushing me behind his body like he was shielding me from something. Leah crossed her arms and stared angrily at both of us. Her beautiful black eyes were fiery.
"I asked you first."
"Is she your girlfriend?" I whispered to Jacob mystified as to what would make Leah this furious. She laughed hysterically.
"Charli I wouldn't date Jacob if he were the last dog alive on this planet." She sneered staring me down.
"Leah. This isn't necessary." Jacob said firmly returning her glare.
"Not necessary? I would say that this is absolutely necessary! You are making a terrible decision here."
"Leah." I jumped in surprise when I heard Jacob growl her name. The sound was so raw and dangerous for a fleeting moment I was worried for her, but she didn't flinch.
"Are you really ready to lose everything for this?" When she said 'this' she looked directly at me.
"I will speak with you later do you understand me." Jacob spat through gritted teeth. I could feel his body shaking in anger and I couldn't deny the fact that I was frightened. I had never been around someone whose emotions were so palpable. The fact that I was sensitive made it that much worse. Normally I could block an unwanted emotion or even tune it out but there was something about Jacob's emotions that made me feel them like they were my own. His anger was bombarding me relentlessly hitting me like a series of mammoth waves one after the other crashing into my very core with no relief. I started to get light-headed and I knew I needed to pacify him somehow. I saw that he was clenching and unclenching his fists repeatedly so I gently slid my hand down his tense, forearm and twisted my fingers around his. To my relief the shaking subsided and he regained his composure almost instantly.
Exhausted after his emotional onslaught I leaned my forehead against his shoulder and breathed deeply.
"Thank you Charli." He whispered into my hair.
"Jacob!" Leah protested.
I heard a rumble start deep in Jacob's chest. I gripped his shoulders tightly pressing my fingers into his flesh praying that he wasn't going to make it start all over again.
"Leah. Leave right now. I am not going to say it again." His tone was different this time. His words rang with a sort of incontestable authority and I could tell that Leah noticed it to. She didn't respond to him at all and instead stood there gaping like the wind had been knocked out of her. She nodded once and then to my complete shock practically dove back into the woods disappearing from sight instantly.
"What was that about?" I asked still gripping onto Jacob trying to keep myself upright. Jacob slid his arm around me and supported most of my weight with extraordinary ease. He took a deep breath and looked back towards the woods where Leah had so quickly made her exit.
"She is like a sister to me. Whenever I am making what she considers a mistake she feels that is her duty to protect me from myself."
"Me being the current questionable mistake?"
He laughed and nodded. "Yeah, pretty much."
"Is she the reason why you feel like you can't be with me?"
"One of many." He answered sadly turning towards me, the frown on his face triggering a familiar wave of nausea in the pit of my stomach. He wasn't going to stay with me. He couldn't stay with me and it wouldn't be right for me to ask him to. It was unfair that his family and friends were asking him to make a choice. They knew that he wouldn't be able to choose me. I was virtually a stranger, not to mention an outsider who had a gift that for some reason threatened them. On the off chance that he did sacrifice his family for me, I knew that I would never be able to live with myself. I took a step back and swallowed the lump that was forming in my throat.
"Are you ever going to talk to me again after this? Or are you going to run away for good this time."
I watched his face carefully and the look of grief that froze his features let me know I wasn't going to like his answer.
"I don't know yet." he murmured quietly.
I felt my heart fall to my feet. With tears stinging in my eyes I knew what I had to do. I could never ask him to turn his back on his family so I turned around slowly and left Jacob standing alone, his arms hanging defeated at his sides.
I felt the tugging in my chest trying desperately to get me to turn back around but I ignored it. My heart hurt so much that it felt like it was tearing in two. No matter how badly I wanted to be with him I knew I wasn't going to be able to handle knowing that I was the reason his family abandoned him. I was sensitive to everyone else's emotions as it was and I didn't need any of my own guilt ridden emotional baggage dragging me down too. I walked towards the house without looking back.
"Charli!" I heard him call and the pain in his voice almost broke me. I stopped but didn't turn around to face him. If I saw his face I knew that I wouldn't be able to walk away. I would run back to him and I would let go completely giving all of myself to him. Right now I still had some control and I wasn't about to give it up no matter how hard he begged.
"Jacob, you can't just pick me up and play with me whenever it is a good time for you. So, do me a favour and don't come near me until you are 100% sure of what you want."
Without another word I marched into the house and slammed the door shut. As soon as I was inside I backed into the wall and slid to the ground tears streaming down my face.
I hoped I wasn't going to regret what I had just done.
