Chapter 28: Insomnia

So apparently promising that the next update won't come a year later is an absolutely horrible idea and you end up completely jinxing yourself. For those of you that I've lost, you will be missed. For those that are still here, and have been since the beginning… thank you for your constant support, patience, and feedback. I am deeply grateful to all of you. And to those newcomers… welcome to Monster. Hope you've enjoyed the ride so far.

Anyway. This chapter was obscenely long. Like. Disgustingly long. I did, however, happen to find a place where I could smoothly cut it off, so this chapter was split into two separate parts, this being the first half and the next chapter, 29, being the second half. Trust me, it's better this way.

The only reason I didn't want to initially split the chapter was because I didn't want to keep dragging you guys along with absolutely no answers, answers you've nearly waited a year for. BUT, because I prefer this than a huge update, I'm going to be posting the next chapter within a few weeks of this chapter, depending on when I send it to Andrea and when I get it back. But it won't be another year. That's right. You'll get two updates of Monster, both very long chapters, today and then again sometime not too far in the future. And I can say that confidently this time because it's already pretty much written. How's that for a peace offering?

And I also want you to know these chapters were a rare case. It usually does not take me a YEAR to finish a chapter but given the content… I had a really hard time. You won't see why it took long in this chapter (this first half was the easy part and has been finished for a long time, it was the second half, what is now chapter 29, that gave me the trouble.) I promise chapter 30 will be written much faster, mostly because I will enjoy it A LOT (did not enjoy writing these two chapters) and it's going to be epic. And yes I'm so confident that it will be epic that I'm willing to overhype it to the point where you might be disappointed when it actually comes out. Willin' to risk it.

It is strongly suggested you skim the previous chapter before starting this chapter, since it's been so long.

And, as usual, I hope you enjoy this chapter.


I loved you; and perhaps I love you still, The flame, perhaps, is not extinguished; yet It burns so quietly within my soul, No longer should you feel distressed by it. Silently and hopelessly I loved you, At times too jealous and at times too shy. God grant you find another who will love you As tenderly and truthfully as I.


Shizuru Fujino sat at her desk in the teacher's lounge. She was the image of perfection. Her dark eyes peered into nothingness over the rim of her teacup. Her lips gently blew onto steaming tea and her fingers wrapped around the ceramic cup so delicately that one would think it was of the finest quality. She was afraid of breaking it with just her grasp.

Colonel Anh Lu sat atop her own desk across from Shizuru's. She hadn't said a thing for a good two minutes, almost a record. Violet eyes never left Shizuru's blank stare. The Colonel shifted uncomfortably, unsure what to make of her friend's silence and not entirely certain how this situation should be handled.

"What are you looking at?" Anh finally asked. Her voice harshly split the silence that had settled, not because she did not have a pleasant voice, but because Shizuru had grown so used to the calm.

The Kyoto woman winced a bit and then gently lowered her teacup to the desk under her.

"The track," she replied simply, her eyes flickering away from Anh's to look out across the empty running track once more. "It is so empty."

Anh followed Shizuru's gaze to the barren track. There was a light fog that fell across Garderobe's campus, and it gave the track such an eerie look and feel. She could almost see Natsuki running around it, her raven hair flowing freely behind her, her piercing green eyes so focused on some distant goal, her feet pounding at the track as if she owned it.

"It's just another obstacle you know, another test," Anh said quietly. She slid slowly off her desk and walked around it to her chair, which she sunk into.

Shizuru's gaze, dull and lacking its usual sharp fierceness, found Anh. "I am sick of tests. When do they stop?"

The colonel shrugged and she pulled a yellow notepad from one corner of her desk to just in front of her. "You're a teacher. Last I checked testing was your job."

Shizuru silently watched as Anh reached for a pen and then began scribbling down what appeared to be a list on the notepad. She was tempted to ask what Anh was jotting down, but she figured it was boring school stuff and she wasn't in the mood to discuss such things.

Instead Shizuru let out a small sigh and rested her chin on her fist, turning to look out the window again. The track was still empty. There was no beautiful girl running it, conquering it with purple sneakers and attitude.

"The first time I saw her I thought… this girl was born of ice… and then I thought, no, she is of fire," Shizuru said suddenly, causing Anh to snap her head up and peer across the room at her companion. She stopped scribbling whatever it had been she was writing and sat up, paying attention.

"Yeah? You remember meeting her?"

Shizuru continued staring out the window, her face an unforgiving mask, made of secrets. She gave nothing away. Was she even breathing? Anh couldn't tell.

Do I remember? How could I not? My heart knew she was there before my eyes did.

Of course Shizuru remembered. It hadn't been that long ago. Not even a year. Natsuki had walked into the room unannounced, saying not a word and not stepping out of the darkness though everyone knew someone had walked into the Council room. The Council room was so dimly lit that they had heard nothing but the door opening and closing and then the applicant's timid but determined footsteps.

Before the applicant had even stepped under the dim yellow glow, Shizuru's heart had been beating so fast she feared she would pass out. The second she had heard that door open, the footsteps, the light, barely audible breathing of someone who had just escaped something… Shizuru knew.

Knew what, she wasn't sure, but she had a feeling that whoever this applicant was, she was someone important. And then Natsuki stepped into the light and Shizuru, though outwardly not moving an inch, inwardly reeled from what she saw. It was as if, upon seeing this girl, she was meeting someone important from her past, someone she had known many times before and had been trying to find throughout the years. Like an ancient part of her was recognizing something in the person she saw and was desperate to call out, 'You found me! At last, you found me!'

I know you. I know you again. I've always known you, every little piece of you.

Those secretive eyes, that silky sable hair, those pink lips, so familiar… so perfect and innocent, shimmering with youth and beauty. Shizuru had peered into those eyes before, had ran her fingers through those locks, and gently placed her lips upon those of the girl down there… yet she had never met her before in her life, so why did she feel like she knew these things? Could pull on them from the deep recesses of her mind and nearly relive them?

She knew the thoughts were ridiculous at the time, so she had stayed silent, sipping her tea to soothe her stirring stomach. After all, the girl was young, and though Shizuru felt an instantaneous connection deep within, she knew she had never met Natsuki Kuga before in her life, at least, not this life.

And when their eyes met that first time, Shizuru felt somewhere deep inside, the clicking of something into place. She had always wondered since then, had Natsuki felt it too?

I was terribly afraid of her, Shizuru recalled, wistfully staring out across the track again and wishing a figure would charge through the fog though not surprised when none did. I did not want Haruka to assign her to my class, though I knew she would. I was afraid how having her in my class would affect me…

After having such a strong immediate reaction, how could she be certain it wasn't just a one time, random thing? She had no idea how to decipher what had happened upon meeting Natsuki Kuga, where those strange feelings came from, but she knew it would cause trouble later if she didn't try and shrug them off, as if she never felt them at all. It wasn't necessarily a romantic feeling as much as an intimate one, so Shizuru hadn't worried about falling for her student… at least not at first.

"She knew me," Shizuru whispered, so quiet that Anh almost didn't hear her. "And I knew her." Somehow.

Anh said nothing, just watched her friend's stone-cold reflection in the window.

Eventually, the colonel said, "You should get to class."


Natsuki woke up in panic like she used to, like she did when she wasn't sleeping in Shizuru's bed. Her nightmares had nothing to do with Akio, but they had a lot to do with a certain teacher leaving her, abandoning her. She wakes up, sweaty and even more exhausted than before when she has dreams such as these. She had been running, chasing after Shizuru through endless tunnels of darkness, pursuing those glimmering red rubies into the night until a flash of gold catches her off guard and she trips into consciousness.

Then, as she looks around her tent, she becomes relieved. It was just a nightmare.

And then… then she realizes it wasn't too far off from reality.

That morning was an interesting one. Nao didn't say a thing to Natsuki and Natsuki was much too busy mentally planning out her day to notice much. She'd glance over at the redhead, who would occasionally shoot her a look over her shoulder, and then she would continue pulling on her pants.

"You know, why don't we cut class?" Nao suggested as they walked side-by-side to the Academic's building.

Natsuki shook her head. She needed to go to class because she planned on skipping out on the training session. If she skipped both, surely Shizuru would go looking for her… right?

Oh wait… maybe she'd just be relieved that she didn't have to deal with Natsuki for a day.

Natsuki felt a clinching in her stomach and chest, her movements becoming more robotic as she fought the inner turmoil trying to break through to the surface where Nao would see them.

The redhead gave her roommate a sidelong glance and said, "We're so early anyway, why did you skip breakfast, again?"

Natsuki shrugged. "You didn't have to skip breakfast with me. I have two stops to make before class."

Nao frowned a bit. Natsuki was being soooo boring. "Fine," she snapped. "Deadbeat," she muttered under her breath.

She got a glare in response, but nothing more. Nao sighed.

"Okay I'll meet you in class in a few minutes," Natsuki said as she walked down the hall, not even looking back at Nao before disappearing through another door.

Nao's eyes narrowed at the space where Natsuki had just been. What was her deal? Aloof much? And why the hell was she going into Sergeant Suzushiro's office?

Nao rolled her eyes and hesitated before opening the door to Fujino's classroom. It was going to be incredibly awkward being the only one in there with that creepy woman.


Haruka eyed a form in her hands and then slowly lifted her violet gaze to peer at Natsuki from over the top of it. "Are you sure you want to do this, Private Kuga?"

Natsuki, eyes not giving anything away, nodded once. "Yes, ma'am."

The blonde gave Natsuki a searching look before slowly lifting a hand to salute the first year. "Well I'll handle it…" she said uneasily, wondering if Shizuru knew of her student's decision and betting that the Kyoto woman had no clue.

Natsuki gave Haruka the most serious salute she had ever given the woman. It was not lazy or slack at all. "Thank you very much." Her tone was sincere and she sounded almost relieved. Haruka wondered how difficult it was for Natsuki to be there, to request such a thing.

The master sergeant nodded and glanced down at it again. "I won't promise anything. It's hard to change something like this in the middle of the school year." The confused blonde looked up when the student didn't immediately reply. "Get to class then, doesn't it start soon?"

Natsuki turned and headed for the exit. "Yeah, ten minutes about."

Haruka watched as the door to her office closed behind Private Natsuki Kuga.

She then looked down at the form once more. "What the hell?"


This time Natsuki headed upstairs, stopping outside of Youko's medical office and turning the knob. Natsuki entered, surprised to find Dr. Sagisawa and General Jin sitting around a square table, their hands around ceramic mugs. It smelled like coffee.

They both turned and looked at Natsuki standing in the doorway.

Youko's eyes widened, her mouth slightly agape.

Jin's lips formed a sly smile, her eyes shining with victory.

"Um…" Natsuki started, looking between the two women that were staring at her like she belonged at the circus freak show.

Youko finally turned and looked at Jin. "You were right."

Jin nodded, her arms folding over her chest as she leaned back into her seat. "Yes, I was. You owe me 30 bucks."

The doctor pouted and reached into the purse at her feet.

"Hey!" Natsuki barked, fists at her sides. "What the hell is going on?"

Then she noticed the syringe, already filled and ready to go lying on the table just between Youko and Jin's coffee mugs. Oh.

Natsuki finally looked ashamed and she fidgeted uncomfortably while Youko handed the money over to Jin.

The General tucked the money into her pocket, giving Youko an apologetic smile before standing up and looking at the first year once more. "Ready for round two, Natsuki?"

Again with Natsuki! When was it okay for Jin to start calling her by her first name? Then again, she called Jin by her first name too, but so did everyone in Japan that knew of her. She was equally known as General Jin as she was for General Higa.

Natsuki's lips curved downwards and she stepped into the room. "I um…"

"It's alright," Jin said soothingly as she gestured for Youko to grab the needle. "I knew you'd be back. It felt great didn't it?"

Natsuki gave a small nod. Last night she had promised herself she wouldn't continue the trials… and yet here she was, ready to feel amazing. She probably wouldn't have wanted it so much if not for the way her hands felt shaky, how her brain never felt fully awake, how her muscles felt sorely sapped of all their strength ever since the first dose ran out last night. She just felt weak now.

Her body just felt so slow.

Youko watched Natsuki curiously. Earlier, Youko had already asked why Jin was so confident that Natsuki would be back for more. After all, Jin had bet 30 bucks that Natsuki would be back in the morning for another shot. Jin had shrugged, saying she 'just had a feeling.'

Youko took the syringe and stood up, lifting a brow at the first year whose inner-conflict was written all over her face. Youko certainly didn't want to give this to Natsuki again, but it was up to the first year and it was government orders to encourage the continuing of testing if the subject so wishes.

Natsuki averted her gaze from Jin's and mumbled a, "Not that great."

"Uh-huh," the general grinned and then strode forward, grabbing Natsuki by the shoulders. The girl lifted her head to meet her gaze head on. "You're going to be great, Natsuki. I can help you get there."

Natsuki blinked up into those terrifying golden suns. "I-I don't need your help," she finally growled, moving away from Jin's hold. And why would you want to make me great?

The dark-haired general shrugged and took a step back, "Whatever you say." She turned to Youko and then nodded her head in Natsuki's direction. "You gonna stick her or what?"

Youko rolled her eyes and then gestured for Natsuki to sit down where Jin had been sitting minutes ago. Natsuki stayed where she was and held her chin high. "Youko should get her money back. I'm just here to… tell you the negative side effects."

Youko met Natsuki's eyes. She appeared quite surprised as she said, "Really?"

Natsuki gave a curt nod. "I'll just tell you what happened last night, and then I'll go."

Jin stared at Natsuki like the girl had grown an extra head. "Excuse me?"

Natsuki flicked her hair over her shoulder before folding her arms over her chest and eyeing Jin like she was a piece of trash. "I'm not taking it again." Her voice was clear, and yet in her eyes Jin saw a little crack in her resolve.

"Are you so sure?" Jin asked, her chin lowering as she gave Natsuki a pointed look. "Your brain says no but your body…"

Natsuki swallowed.

"…says yes."


Nao felt positively awkward being alone in the classroom with, not Fujino, but Colonel Alyssa Goddamn Searrs. She had tried to hide her surprise at first, but those piercing sapphire eyes being the first thing she saw when she opened the door to Fujino's classroom was a shock, and she had paused there in the doorway, staring.

She had quickly recovered and, promptly tearing her gaze away from the predatory blue eyes of the Fuuka colonel, sauntered over to her desk. She pretended that she couldn't feel those icy eyes on the back of her head. It felt chilling, and she tried to hide her involuntary shiver by quickly sitting down.

Colonel Alyssa Searrs sat with her butt upon the front edge of Shizuru's desk. She had her arms folded over her chest and was peering steadily at Nao, her gaze as relentless and as unwavering as the rest of her. She was, surprisingly, not in a green Garderobe uniform, but in the dark blue of the enemy school, Fuuka. It fit her perfectly, showing off her long legs, which were crossed at the ankles. Alyssa's hair was in its usual ponytail, high and not a hair out of place. Nao was certain it had been a good minute and a half and not one muscle in Alyssa's face had moved. Why was Alyssa in Shizuru's classroom again? And where was Shizuru? For once Nao wished the teacher was around.

"Were you not going to say 'hello?'" Alyssa asked after a moment, her eyes still unmoving. "A salute, perhaps?" She phrased this as if it were a mere suggestion.

Nao let out a sigh, though it was really an excuse for her to exhale. For some reason, breathing around this woman seemed lethal. "Why should I? I don't even like you."

The colonel arched a blonde brow then straightened. "It is not a matter of whether you like me or not," Alyssa pointed out. "It is about respect for your superiors."

"You don't even work here! You're not my superior! Besides, what do you know about respect?" Nao spat, feeling stupid for giving Alyssa attitude while sitting at a student's desk. She wanted to be taken seriously but if she stood up just to insult the colonel she would look even more stupid. She stayed where she was, deciding to go with her usual, 'I do not give a fuck about what you say,' routine.

"Evidently, more than you," Alyssa replied smoothly. "And just because our schools are rivals does not mean we're not, in the grand scheme of things, on the same team, correct? I still outrank you and therefore I am your superior." She paused when Nao didn't seem to care, and then, not wanting the conversation to die for some reason, asked, "Why are you here so early?"

"I could ask you the same question, or why you are even here. Shouldn't you be at Fuuka?"

"I need to talk to Lieutenant Fujino."

"Why don't you just leave her a message? I hear you're into leaving stupid messages in creative ways." Nao, of course, was referring to the rumor that the two other Trias members often received or found small index cards with a note from the Fuuka colonel without knowing how it got there. Nao also remembered Alyssa sniping Mai that one time, with an invitation for Natsuki to join Fuuka attached to the tranq. That had been kind of funny.

Alyssa's lips twitched. How did Shizuru put up with this little snot all day? If Nao were in Alyssa's class the girl would be half-dead from having to do hundreds of pushups daily for her insolence.

Nao smirked at the blonde. She had to admit, Alyssa was incredibly attractive, but she had nothing on Natsuki. Natsuki had a soul. She glowed… with a presence immensely different than the presence that was Alyssa Searrs.

"I have to give her something to give to Anh, actually," Alyssa ended up saying. The muscles in her face relaxed and she gave Nao a slow and sexy lopsided smile.

Nao blinked, suddenly feeling overwhelmed and stunned by the brilliance of the woman's smile.

Noticing this, Alyssa's expression became triumphant, and all the cockiness and arrogance came flooding back to her. Nao, on the other hand, sunk into her seat and looked out the window for a bit before sneaking a peek at the colonel.

"You know, you're kind of an asshole," the redhead muttered, wondering if she was about to get killed.

Alyssa's brightness didn't fade, and she simply smiled wider. "I prefer the term jerk but I suppose you're not quite far off. And you?"

Nao grinned. "I like the term bitch but you know, I'll take what I can get these days."

Rich laughter filled the room and Nao straightened up in her chair at the sound of it, her fingers nervously playing with the edge of her desk. Why were her palms so sweaty?

Coming down from her mirth, Alyssa wiped at her eye and hummed gleefully. "You know it is no surprise that Shizuru likes you."

Nao blinked and straightened a bit in her seat. "I don't think you know her as well as you think, Colonel. She despises me."

Alyssa gave a curt nod and then appeared wistful, her eyes narrowing at Nao as she thought something over. Nao could practically see the cogs turning in the woman's head. "Indeed, but she is also very fond of you. Not fond in the sense that… that we think of usually. Fond in the sense that… if she were to… perish… she would trust you to protect…" Alyssa trailed off, her eyes becoming thoughtful. This happened often, when her mind moved too fast for her to articulate her thoughts out loud.

The redhead stared, brows knitted in confusion. "Natsuki," she deadpanned. "She trusts me with Natsuki."

Alyssa, drawn from her thoughts, shook her head. "No. She definitely does not trust you with Natsuki. Well, she did, before it turned out you and Natsuki had a little romp in the forest the other night."

Light green eyes widened and Nao's lips parted in awe. "What romp? There was no romping, thank you very much!" Even so, her cheeks burned and for once she was the one blushing.

"Uh-huh." Alyssa didn't sound convinced. "We have an eye witness." A pause. "Not to mention that's all I keep hearing about all over campus."

"Damn them," Nao cursed under her breath, remembering those four pairs of eyes she and Natsuki had seen spying on them. "Well they lied," she said loudly, confidently. "Natsuki and I… listen, you started this whole mess by putting the moves on Shizuru, so don't go blaming this on me!"

The blonde colonel said nothing, simply stood there like a statue. "You know," she said quietly, "You should really be careful what you say to me, Private Yuuki…" and then she turned and faced the door.

Nao had no idea why, but then she heard the faint footsteps of someone walking down the hall and knew why Alyssa had gone quiet. How Alyssa had heard those footsteps so much earlier than Nao was mindboggling, the blonde must have freakin' bat ears. Then again, Nao had seen Lieutenant Fujino demonstrate the same skill before. It soon became apparent that there were two sets of footsteps.

And when the door opened, Nao wasn't sure if she were relieved or even more terrified.

Alyssa stood up off the desk, her expression becoming one of stone as she peered at the newcomers. "Shizuru, Anh." She saluted.

Anh, much to Alyssa's irritation, gave the blonde the finger, a lazy grin on her face. Shizuru gave a quick salute back before roaming the mostly empty classroom with her eyes. She first ignored Nao's presence, stalking over to her desk and sitting down in her chair. When no one said anything she said, "You are here early, Private Yuuki."

Nao gave a carefree shrug. "Your pet made me. I'd have skipped today if it were up to me."

Shizuru's eyebrow twitched only slightly at Nao referring to Natsuki as her pet. Jin did that as well, and it was not appreciated. Her irritation quickly evaporated. If what Nao said was true, then where was Natsuki?

"And where is Private Sexy Pants?" Anh asked, seeing the question on Shizuru's face and seeing how Shizuru was afraid of asking.

Nao shrugged. "Beats me. She forces me to come early and then disappears."

Shizuru stood up from her desk. "I shall be right back." And with that, she turned and exited the classroom.

Anh and Alyssa exchanged glances.

Colonel Lu turned to Nao and winked. "So what's up, Red?"


"What do you want?" Natsuki asked without turning around as she headed for the stairs again.

Jin jogged to catch up with Natsuki and then slowed down her walk to keep pace. After all, her legs were much longer than Natsuki's. "I'm observing you again, obviously."

Natsuki shot the woman a sidelong glance. "I'm not even doing anything strenuous." Yet. "It's just class time."

Jin frowned at her. "So you want me to meet you when you're training instead?"

Natsuki stopped walking, spun around, and stared hard at Jin. They were at the base of the stairs this time, now on the first level of the Academic's building. She peered at her suspiciously.

General Higa returned the steady gaze. Eventually she lifted a black brow. "What are you staring at?"

"Why are you following me everywhere?" Natsuki demanded to know, her eyes fierce.

Jin's lips formed a frown and she suddenly appeared defensive. "I am supposed to be observing you, remember?"

Natsuki didn't seem convinced. "Just stay out of my way then," she said with a shrug as she turned and began walking down the hall towards her classroom. Jin hesitated before trotting after the first year.

Natsuki froze when she saw Alyssa Searrs exit Shizuru's classroom. The blonde saw her and came to an abrupt stop. Bright sapphire eyes flickered from Natsuki then to her company, Jin, who was standing right beside her.

"Well," Alyssa said with a slow smile. "This is not something you see every day. Jin Higa hanging out with Natsuki Kuga?" The blonde turned and faced the two other women, her arms folding over her chest and her eyes twinkling with delight. "You ladies friends now? What an interesting pattern this has been…" Alyssa seemed to become thoughtful again, as if analyzing the situation. "Like history repeats itself…"

Natsuki said nothing. She just stared at the cold Colonel Searrs. This woman was born of ice.

"Do you have a visitor's pass, Searrs?" Jin asked calmly as she drew her pistol in one fluid motion and had it aimed at Alyssa's smirking face. "Because if you don't, I'm afraid I'll have to tranq you."

Natsuki held the smile that was trying to force its way onto her lips. Something was incredibly wrong with her life. She was on Jin's side suddenly? Happy that Jin was aiming a gun at Alyssa Searrs? Two days ago, something like this would've had Natsuki backing Alyssa up, not like Alyssa would need any back up. Instead she felt almost giddy at the nanosecond of shock that showed in Alyssa's usually carefree eyes.

The blonde merely shrugged, not even reaching for her assault rifle on her back. "I actually don't… but I have a friend behind you, so I'd consider putting your toy away, Higa."

Jin scowled. She hated Alyssa Searrs. She glanced down at Natsuki, who turned around to see Shizuru behind them.

Shizuru had her own pistol out and was pointing it at Jin's back. She looked exhausted and definitely was not in the mood for this. "Jin, just put your pistol down and let her leave," Shizuru said quietly, her accent making the words not seem like a command. When Jin, who hadn't turned around to see who it was, heard that voice, she let out a dark chuckle.

"Of course," she said through her chuckles. She sounded like a villain.

Shizuru glanced at Natsuki. "Come here," she said. That did sound like a command.

Jin, knowing she was talking to Natsuki, turned around and grabbed Natsuki by the collar. Natsuki made a grunting noise and attempted to slap Jin's hand away, but she noticed it was in some type of protective grasp rather than possessive.

Jin, ignoring Searrs who was behind her, stared straight ahead at Shizuru. "You know you can get in trouble for pointing a gun at your superior, Shizuru." A twisted smile appeared on her lips and her eyes flashed. "Technically, you are aiding Colonel Alyssa Searrs in an invasion of Garderobe. Not surprised you'd be a traitor too."

Shizuru rolled her eyes, which didn't seem like a Shizuru thing to do. Then again, nothing Shizuru did these days seemed like a Shizuru thing to do. Natsuki was slowly beginning to realize just how different Shizuru had become over the last few weeks, not just after the Alyssa incident, but even before then. Something had just been slightly off, but Natsuki had never thought much of it until now.

Shizuru kept her gun trained on Jin, however, and said in a tired tone, "It is too early for this." She glanced at Natsuki, "And Natsuki is not your hostage so please return her."

Jin tilted her head back and laughed. "Hostage? Natsuki is mine now. She's my little friend. She could leave if she wanted to, but here she is, standing next to me." Jin removed her hand to prove her point, and Natsuki, unsure of what was going on, stood where she was.

Shizuru's brow wrinkled and her gaze flickered to a confused looking Natsuki, who was not struggling to get away from Jin.

The Kyoto woman lowered her weapon. "Alyssa is gone now," she said, smiling when Jin blinked and turned to look behind her, seeing no one where Alyssa Searrs had been moments ago. Shizuru glided passed both Natsuki and Jin. "I will see you in class, Private Kuga," she murmured simply as she headed into her classroom.


It annoyed Natsuki that the woman that was breaking her heart was also the only one that could make it beat so damn fast. Shizuru was the one making Natsuki feel awful, yet she was the only one able to make Natsuki really smile. It was both infuriating and bothersome.

Natsuki was surprised to see Anh in the classroom, conversing with Nao. From the glint in Anh's eye and the immensely displeased look on Nao's face, Natsuki concluded that the colonel was putting the moves on her redheaded friend.

Finding it a bit funny, Natsuki decided to let it continue for a bit, and she turned to face Shizuru, who was already watching her. Those crimson eyes froze Natsuki where she was, and she felt her insides melt.

A small, very sad smile formed on Shizuru's luscious lips. "Private Kuga… how are you?"

"Don't call me that, Shizuru," Natsuki muttered as she found the strength to walk past her teacher and make her way to her desk.

Jin, after giving Shizuru a crooked grin, headed towards the back of the classroom where she sat in the desk that was usually empty.

Anh glanced at the brigadier general and chuckled. "I see you learned to sit in the back of the classroom, Jin. No one can throw things at you from there." She smirked when Jin shot her a glare.

Shizuru cleared her throat. "Anh, didn't Alyssa ask you to step outside with her?"

Anh's lower lip protruded, making her look like a child not getting their way. "Maybe."

"Go. She said it was important."

Anh rolled her eyes. "Alyssa Searrs thinks everything she has to say is important." Anh sighed before sending Nao a wink and then heading towards the exit. "Catch ya later, Shizuru."

And then she was gone.


The classroom slowly filled up with students. It seems everyone felt like hitting the snooze button that morning. Shizuru hadn't said a thing, though she would sometimes be caught staring at Natsuki, making the young woman feel uncomfortable but also, in a strange way, safe.

Class was boring. It usually was these days. It wasn't long before Shizuru announced they had to head to the library yet again to finish their group papers. They would be handed in by the end of class time or lose ten points for each day that passed before it was handed in.

Natsuki gathered her things and headed to the library, feeling a bit like a zombie but also thinking of the future. She had to focus. If she didn't beat Tomoe then… she had to win the final match. She wasn't sure what that would mean but, even though she felt as though her good fortune had stabbed her in the back in the worst way possible, she knew she couldn't risk Tomoe winning. She had to fight, she had to believe that doing what she had set out to do since her third day of being at Garderobe would fix everything. At least… fix something. Maybe she wasn't good enough for Shizuru Fujino, but she was good enough for herself, and she was going to prove it to the entire school.

Natsuki sat at the computer, typing away. Every few seconds she would hear Shizuru's voice, and instinctively look up.

"Ara, ara that is the wrong font. A size too big, Private Oshiro, nice try."

"Good work, Private Marguerite."

"Private Kudo, don't you think you should work on your paper instead of staring at Private Yuuki?"

"Private Harada… I can see you and Private Senoh behind that bookshelf… that… is not appropriate library etiquette. Get to work."

"Did you need help?" This time the voice was close, and Natsuki nearly fell backwards in her chair.

"Ah!"

"Oh my," Shizuru exclaimed when she reached forward to help if Natsuki had tipped too far backwards. Natsuki caught herself, however, and let out a shaky breath.

"Don't do that," she snapped, staring straight into Shizuru's eyes. It was an excuse to stare, so she did. Why did Shizuru have to be so beautiful? It made everything so much more complicated.

"Kannin na," Shizuru murmured. The teacher watched her student with sorrow, her voice quiet. The student stared back, her emerald eyes flashing dangerously.

"I'm fine, I don't need your help," Natsuki said as she saved her work and then scraped her chair backwards away from the desk. Shizuru took a step back.

"Where are you going?"

"To find another book," Natsuki lied, "I haven't found enough information yet." Natsuki turned to leave.

"But—"

"Ah, Natsuki." Natsuki stopped in her tracks and found herself staring straight into the pretty hazel eyes of Rei Nara.

Natsuki found herself speechless for a second, racking her brain for any information on Rei Nara. She had completely forgotten about Rei. She works at the library, right, I remember now. She was that girl I saved from Kato. She tried to... Natsuki blushed, remembering how Rei Nara had been rather… forward the day of her party.

She then remembered they had had a somewhat pleasant conversation the other day, and Rei seemed to be just a normal human being when she wasn't intoxicated. She had also invited Natsuki out, hadn't she? To apologize?

Shizuru, who witnessed the exchange, watched Natsuki's blossoming cheeks with unease. Why was Natsuki blushing? Rei hadn't said two words to Natsuki. Unless 'ah' counted, but Shizuru decided it didn't.

"Hey Rei," Natsuki greeted with a smile. She even gave a wave, and felt dumb afterwards. Rei was the cool upperclassman and Natsuki suddenly felt like a Garderobe newbie. She didn't know why, since she hadn't felt this way yesterday during their small exchange, or around other third years. There was something about Rei Nara that made her feel like she was in a normal high school again. This girl hardly seemed like a soldier. She belonged on a magazine cover, not at Garderobe. "How are you?"

Rei's lips, covered in a thin layer of pink lip-gloss, curved into a smile. She looked as if she were about to pinch Natsuki's cheeks, coo over how cute she was. Instead she shot a glance to the Lieutenant standing near Natsuki's computer. "Hello Lieutenant." She turned her undivided attention back to Natsuki, ignoring Shizuru's rather flimsy salute. "I'm doing good. I was waiting for you. Do you need help with anything? I can get you whatever you want."

"She needs a book," Shizuru answered for Natsuki, when Natsuki seemed to be unsure of what to say.

Natsuki looked over her shoulder at Shizuru, who raised a brow at her in response.

"Well," Rei offered Natsuki a grin. "This would be the place for that. Here," she grabbed Natsuki's hand, "Let's take a walk and we'll see if we can find anything for you."

Natsuki blinked but allowed herself to be tugged away from Shizuru and towards the library's stacks. Shizuru watched them go. She wondered if Natsuki thought Rei was pretty. Shizuru thought so, though she wished Rei was hideous.

This is ridiculous, Shizuru thought. Not only did she have no right to be jealous, but Natsuki had just met Rei. Shizuru had nothing to worry about.

Then again, shouldn't Rei be hitting on someone her own age? Natsuki was a first year! Rei was a third year that likely had more experience and bad intentions! Shizuru then blinked, realized she was older than Rei by a little bit, and then instantly pretended she hadn't just thought that. Did it bother her that she was older than Natsuki? Not really, though the moral decision of dating a student still sometimes bothered her. Then again, it's not like she had to worry about that much anymore, considering she was no longer with her student.

Why must she always want the things she cannot have?

Her mother would often scold her father for spoiling his daughter.

"Ikuto!" Her mother's shrill voice would call her father's name. "What do you think you're doing?"

Colonel Ikuto Fujino was so close. She could see the freckles in his chocolate eyes, the sprinkle of a few gray hairs in his chestnut hair. He had recently shaved his beard, and when he kissed Shizuru on the cheek at night, his stubble against her soft skin would make her giggle. Ikuto was a strong man, with broad shoulders and strong arms. He had chiseled features, as if his face was carved out of stone, yet when he smiled the world seemed to become a friendlier place, warmer. His military uniform, though never as flashy or as splendid as his wife's, always seemed more rugged, more real.

Shizuru was staring up into her father's face, waiting ever so patiently with a broad grin on her lips as he held the long-awaited necklace in his palms. He had just been about to give it to her. It was just barely out of arm's reach, so close but so far.

Shizuru had been eyeing it for a while now. She had never seen anything quite so pretty. It was a simple silver heart, small but perfect. Shizuru had never wanted anything so badly in her life, but she was no ordinary child. She did not stomp her feet or throw a fit. She was polite, patient, mature beyond her years. She would wait for it.

Shizuru's mother hissed her father's name again, "Ikuto!" and he froze before offering Shizuru an apologetic smile, a smile she knew all too well. It was usually only received before her father was about to give in to something her mother said. He stood up from his kneeling position and straightened his uniform out before peering at his wife.

"Yes?" he would ask, his unusually deep voice full of so much boredom. "What is it?"

"What do you think you're doing?"

Shizuru could remember watching her father's hand close around the necklace with its silver chain dangling through the space between his fingers. If she could reach out and grab it… but no, she was a good child. She knew not to touch anything that wasn't hers. She would wait for her father to give it to her, like he promised he would weeks ago.

"I'm buying her the necklace," Ikuto said calmly. It always surprised Shizuru how calm her father could be with her mother. Her mother could be so infuriating sometimes! Perhaps Shizuru inherited her patience and serenity from her father? Then again, she could remember throwing quite a few temper tantrums as a child. The skill was most likely observed, copied, and learned.

Shizuru could clearly see her mother, standing there with that displeased expression on her tight face. "I don't remember her doing her chores this morning."

"It's alright," Ikuto replied, patting his daughter on the head. "She's been good all week." He offered her a beaming smile. Shizuru couldn't help but to smile back, even though she knew it would only make her mother more difficult to deal with.

"I seem to remember Hideki's parents complaining that Shizuru threw him off the slide at the playground… he had to get stitches, Ikuto. Stitches!"

Shizuru had to defend herself. "He tried to kiss me!" She argued, making a grossed out face. "Boys are gross!" She stuck her tongue out to emphasize her displeasure with the opposite gender.

Ikuto titled his head back and let out a loud laugh before patting Shizuru on the head again. "That's my girl!" he then paused and glanced down at her. "That little prick really tried to kiss you?"

Shizuru nodded.

Her father made a face and glanced at his wife. "Seems like she did a good job then if you ask me. She's much too young for that stuff! She always will be. No boys for you, Shizuru, got that honey?"

Shizuru nodded enthusiastically. She wouldn't mention it then, but she had always liked the other girls better.

"We're leaving," her mother declared, gazing steadily at her daughter with familiar wine-red eyes. With that, her mother, clad in her fancy military uniform, turned on her heel and stormed out of the store.

Ikuto sighed. "Well, come on then," he said as he gently grasped his daughter's small hand in his large one. "You know how your mother gets…"

Shizuru pouted. She had really wanted that necklace too.

"I'll get it for you for Christmas, alright? I promise." He said it gently, not being able to stand the crestfallen look on his daughter's face.

Shizuru never did receive such a gift, and when she asked for it, her mother would simply reply, "You always want what you can't have, Shizuru. Prove to me you deserve that necklace. Earn it and you shall have it."

Shizuru fidgeted a bit, feeling uncomfortable and very, very alone as she stared into the darkness of Garderobe's library.

You always want what you can't have, Shizuru.


After a long jog through Garderobe's campus, Anh finally caught up to the fleeing blonde.

"Al!" Anh called after the blonde. Alyssa was walking towards a large black SUV. A Fuuka student, Nina Wang, was holding the door open for her. They were not on Garderobe's school grounds anymore, but standing in the street just in front of Garderobe's overly large and looming gates.

Alyssa paused, her army boot already in the car, ready to lift the rest of herself in. Instead she glanced over her shoulder and stepped down, turning to face the approaching Anh. "What is it?" She asked, as if she were in a rush. "And if you call me 'Al' again I'll blow your head clean off your shoulders."

Anh frowned and came to a halt a safe distance of three feet away. "You said you wanted to talk to me about something serious."

Alyssa, this Alyssa, was stone cold and angry. "Oh, so you did decide to show up then? I was just about to leave."

"Well I'm here now. What do you want?"

Alyssa, tall, slender, and sculpted from ice, snapped her fingers. Anh didn't get why, until the young girl behind Alyssa that had been holding open the door, disappeared into the SUV and then jumped out, holding a manila folder in her hand. She handed it to Alyssa, saluted, and went back to standing near the SUV's door.

Alyssa, face unchanging, handed the folder to Anh, who hesitated before reaching out and taking it. "That is for you," Alyssa said quietly. Her gaze was the only thing that softened. The rest of her remained hard as ice.

Colonel Lu tucked the folder under her arm and stared straight into Alyssa's eyes. "You really should've stopped it, Alyssa. You saw how stressed out Shizuru was, you saw how vulnerable, how blind, how depressed she has been. You should have seen how distant she was being, how reckless."

Alyssa licked her dry lips and muttered, "Open your goddamn folder." She turned and entered the back seat of the car. Nina closed the car door after the colonel and then walked over to the other side, getting into the driver's seat.

The tinted window was rolled down and Alyssa peered at Anh, who stood there wordlessly. "You seem to be under the impression that I still have some form of power over Shizuru. I do not, I never really did. It's up to Natsuki to save her now."

"Natsuki has no idea. You know how Shizuru hides that side of herself from Natsuki." Hell, I didn't even notice until too late.

"Then maybe their relationship isn't as strong as she likes to think it is," Alyssa replied. "Survival of the fittest can relate to love as well." She then turned her gaze to Nina. "Take us home, Nina."

The large black SUV sped off down the road. Anh stood there, watching it disappear down the hill, before turning and walking back towards Garderobe's gates. She slipped the folder out from under her arm and opened it up. She pulled out a simple piece of white paper with an address and a name written on the front.

A teardrop fell onto the paper, smudging the black ink.


"So what book were you looking for?" Rei asked as she and Natsuki came to a halt somewhere deep into the library. A mischievous smirk formed on her lips and she winked, "Or did you just want to get away from Lieutenant Fujino? Was she bothering you? You both looked so tense and strained I decided to walk over and save you." Rei, suddenly appearing distracted, reached forward. Natsuki flinched away but Rei smiled and whispered soothingly, "Relax," as she gently brushed some hair from Natsuki's face.

Natsuki swallowed and then said firmly, "We're friends, right?"

Rei's eyes widened a fraction and she seemed to look disappointed. "Yes. If that is what you want us to be, then we're friends, yes."

Natsuki let out a sigh and ran her hand through her ebony locks. "Okay, thanks. I just… yes, I don't actually need a book. I just wanted to get away from her. So thanks."

With that, Natsuki turned to leave. A firm hand on her shoulder stopped her and spun her around. Natsuki gave Rei a questioning look.

Rei appeared apologetic and offered a rueful smile. "I'm sorry but may I ask where you are going? Can I join you?"

Natsuki blinked. "I was going to cut the rest of this period and go train for the final match coming up. I only have today and tomorrow to train."

"Ah, right," Rei suddenly appeared to be very excited. She clasped Natsuki's hands within hers and stared straight into Natsuki's green eyes. Her own hazel pools were lit up with joy and she seemed very giddy, almost childlike. "I would love to help you train, or at least watch you. I'm a third year, so I'm sure I can give you some tips."

"Actually I was going to look for my friend Naba—"

"Nabatame?" Rei made a displeased face, but upon seeing Natsuki's unhappy reaction to it, she quickly changed her expression to one of joy, "she's great and very talented, but there are some tricks she doesn't know."

Natsuki looked skeptical. "Nabatame is the best there is."

Rei, once again, looked downtrodden. Natsuki almost felt bad. "You can… watch though?" The third year perked up at that, her eyes full of hope. Natsuki blinked and then asked, "But aren't you working the library right now?"

For a second, Rei appeared thoughtful. Finally she shrugged and said, "I'll tell my friend to cover for me, he works here too part-time."

"Uh, okay then," Natsuki said, uncertain. She hadn't expected Rei to agree. "We'll wait a bit and then sneak out."

Rei nodded then leaned her shoulder against a bookshelf, peering at Natsuki with smoky eyes. She didn't say anything at first, seemingly just content to stare.

Natsuki cleared her throat and pretended to find a book interesting.

"Do I make you nervous, Natsuki?" The question hung in the air, Natsuki wasn't sure how to respond. Rei had asked the question in a soft, delicate voice… as if she feared Natsuki would break her.

Natsuki glanced at Rei and let out a nervous laugh. "Not… really. I just… I hardly know you."

"Get to know me," Rei suggested, a smile dancing on her lips. "You won't regret it."

Natsuki looked into Rei's seemingly innocent hazel eyes and saw nothing but sincerity. "Okay, I guess you can never have too many friends," Natsuki said, still feeling a bit cautious. "But I'll have to grab my duffle bag before we go." She paused, deciding that they needed to kill some time before they snuck out. "So… where are you from?"


After Rei had dragged off with Natsuki, Jin had sidled up to Shizuru's side and swung an arm around the lieutenant's stiff shoulders. "Aw, relax. Must be tough, seeing the love of your life walk off with another woman."

Shizuru ignored Jin and moved away from her arm. It was not comforting in the least. "I suppose you would know," Shizuru snapped as she set her fierce gaze on the now shocked brigadier general. "Wouldn't you, Jin?"

Jin bared her teeth and looked like a dog wanting to snarl. Shizuru stood strong, refusing to be intimidated. Jin then let out a harsh laugh. "I suppose you're right. Maybe this is karma coming to slap you in the face and this is me getting to witness it."

Shizuru gave her a humorless smile. "I never loved you Jin. It is not the same."

Jin's face paled. She already knew that, yet hearing it from Shizuru's lips, so cruel, so painful. It was like she was at Garderobe again, being picked on by the Trias once again, except this time the third member, the youngest most beautiful Trias member, didn't show up to defend her. Jin was thinking of several hundred ways in which she could kill Shizuru while making it look like an accident. Her options weren't that great in the middle of a library, surrounded by so many people that adored the lieutenant.

"Stay away from Natsuki," Shizuru growled quietly, her crimson eyes burning with a piercing flame that threatened to burn Jin to the core. "If you continue following her around I will personally make it so that the bones in your legs turn to dust."

Jin was still frozen, but a cruel smile soon found its way onto her face. "I always had suspicions about you, Shizuru. Quiet, lovely, Shizuru Fujino. Only fighting when threatened, only fighting when challenged, only fighting when you had to and only to the point where the other person could no longer fight back. You never took the extra hit, never did more damage than was necessary." Jin paused, and then added, "Do you think I don't know you're more talented than everyone thinks? Do you think that I don't know you could probably hold your own against Anh, Alyssa, and maybe even Haruka if you truly unleashed all the fierce power inside of you?" Jin took a step closer, invading Shizuru's personal space. Their faces were inches apart. "I know all about your strengths, Shizuru, as well as your weaknesses. They're the same thing. You can't pretend to be weak anymore, I know what lies in you, dormant now, but waiting for the moment to unleash its fury upon the world. I'm going to force you to bring it out, Shizuru, that power within you. I could taste it on your lips that time I—"

"Am I interrupting something?" Officer Rauschenberg asked as she came to a stop just before Shizuru and Jin, who both turned to look at her. From the looks on their faces, Rauschenberg blinked and let out a nervous chuckle. "I'll take that as a yes… but… Shizuru," her face grew grave, "this is important. I need to talk to you."

Shizuru shot Jin a glare, before nodding to Rauschenberg and following the third year teacher out of Jin's earshot. "Yes? What has happened, Harris?"

Harris Rauschenberg let out a sorrowful sigh before running her hands through her long dark hair. Her brown eyes found Shizuru's wine-red and she said, quietly, "Shizuru, my student is missing."

Shizuru's brow furrowed. "Your student is…?" And then she put it together. Her eyes widened and she placed her hands on Rauschenberg's shoulders and leaned in close. She asked, in a hushed whisper, "Is Anastasie Tanaka missing, Harris?"

The teacher's face looked pained and she had to avert her gaze from Shizuru's intensity. "She is. Haruka just told me... her entire troop is missing. She was the best Specialist they had and bam! She's captured by the enemy."

Shizuru's heart was hammering in her chest. Another mission failed? "They were looking into the Renegades?" She asked, though she knew the answer.

"Yes."

"Again… again the Renegades have captured Garderobe troops." Shizuru was thinking of Yukino, and the three other captains before her. The Renegades were a big problem. The Renegades… would be the ones Shizuru would be facing very soon. She feared she shared the same fate as their victims.

"They haven't returned anyone yet… Haruka is sure all the captains, minus Yukino, are all dead by now… hell, Tanaka could be dead by now. Shizuru this is my top student!" Rauschenberg appeared frantic then, as if Tanaka's capture just hit her. Mist formed in her eyes, and Shizuru brought the woman into a hug.

"Shhh, shhh," Shizuru murmured into Rauschenberg's hair, "It'll be alright. I will bring her back unharmed." All these promises Shizuru was making these days... could she keep them? She wasn't sure, but she felt like these promises were the only thing she could give. "I will get her and Yukino and all the others back," Shizuru promised loudly, "Even if I die trying." Which was very, very likely.

"There's something else," Rauschenberg said as she broke away from Shizuru's comforting hold. Shizuru questioningly met those brown eyes. The officer swallowed hard before saying, "Nabatame. Nabatame doesn't know yet."

Shizuru's eyes widened and her heart cried for that beautiful young soldier. Their love, often reminding Shizuru of the love shared between her and Natsuki, was a lovely thing. Those girls… one would not be complete without the other, not after the way they had shared their souls so intimately. Shizuru saw herself and Natsuki in this situation. Would Natsuki care if she died? She quickly stopped her selfish thoughts. "You want me to go with you, then, to tell her about Anastasie?"

"Yes, if you can leave your class for a few… it won't take long, I just… I can't face Nabatame alone. I was the one that recommended Private Tanaka should take this opportunity." Rauschenberg wasn't so worried about Nabatame harming her, but rather, Nabatame harming herself in her grief. Rauschenberg felt guilty enough, though she knew this really was not her fault. There was something about Shizuru's presence, soothing as it was warming, that Rauschenberg hoped would calm not only Nabatame, but herself as well when they broke the news.

Shizuru nodded. "We'll leave immediately. The class can take care of themselves for now." She looked behind her, not seeing Natsuki anywhere. "Come on," Shizuru said, gently grasping Rauschenberg's hand and leading the somewhat hesitant officer towards the Library's exit.


Natsuki stepped out into the area where her class worked on their reports. Nao was at the computer, typing away. Arika was standing behind her, leaning so close that Natsuki could tell Nao was about to explode. You do not invade Nao's personal space. Especially when your voice is ridiculously high-pitched and stab-worthy.

"Hey," Natsuki said, stopping beside Nao and smiling innocently when the redhead shot her a glare.

"Where the hell have you been?" She snapped. She then noticed Rei Nara, standing a few foot behind Natsuki. Her eyes narrowed and she slowly brought her gaze upon her friend. "You've got to be kidding me. That skank, Natsuki? Really?" Nao thought Rei was a poor choice for a rebound fling.

Natsuki's eyebrow twitched and she had to resist the urge to throttle Nao. Who said that stuff when the person was within earshot? Oh right, that would be Nao. "Will you shut up? She's not a… she's a nice person. She just wants to watch me practice with Nabatame or whatever."

"Are you dumb? Nabatame doesn't even like that chick. If you recall, she's the one that tranq'd her at your party…?"

Natsuki shrugged. Honestly, Rei was rather persistent and Natsuki felt bad constantly shooting her down and telling her to back off. "I know, I kind of feel like I owe her an apology for that though. She was left alone, in the freezing cold, lying in mud for hours, Nao. The least I can let her do is watch me train."

Her roommate looked unconvinced but shrugged. "Well, whatever. Are you cutting class? Because now would be a good time, Fujino just left with Rauschenberg five minutes ago."

Eyebrows knitted together, Natsuki asked, "What? Why? Where'd she go?" She hated that a feeling of concern nearly caused her to go on a search for the Kyoto woman.

The redhead gave another carefree shrug. "I have no idea." She then leaned in closer, as if to tell a secret. But instead of whispering, like one might expect, she said (quite loudly), "Don't leave me here with the retard. If I don't put a bullet in my own head first, I'm going to murder her."

Natsuki had to bite her lip to prevent herself from laughing, after all, said retard was two feet behind Nao, and had been meant to hear every cruel word.

Arika, who was used to such treatment from Nao, sighed. "You say some mean things, Nao."

"And you say too many things," Nao snapped back, shooting a glare at Arika from over her shoulder.

Natsuki rolled her eyes before sending a patiently waiting Rei an apologetic look. She received a 'take your time' look in response. She turned back to Nao. "Listen, Nao, I'll pay for your breakfast for the next two weeks if you finish my part of the essay for me."

Nao quirked a brow at that. "You do know it would be a mediocre job, right? As in, I'm going to bullshit everything included in your section of the essay?"

Natsuki nodded. She would've probably written bullshit anyway.

The redhead seemed to think it over. Suddenly the muscles in her face tensed, her jaw tightened, and she averted her gaze from Natsuki's to the computer screen. "You might not live up to your word."

"I will, I promise. Two weeks, my money, your breakfast."

"No I mean, you really might not live, as in, you might not be around to keep your side of the deal. There's a good chance you'll be dead in three days, Natsuki."

Private Kuga stared at Nao's profile. "Nao I…" she had no idea what to say to that. It was true after all. Tomoe had promised it. She'd send Natsuki to hell in a hand basket the day of the final match. It's what she's been preparing for, what they've both been preparing for, for months now. Natsuki took a deep breath and said, "I'll talk to you later." She grabbed her duffle bag and gestured for Rei to follow her out.

Nao gave a curt nod, not even looking up from the screen as Natsuki walked by her, towards the exit. Rei Nara glided after her like a shadow, and then they were both gone.

Arika looked at Nao's stony expression and softly asked, "Are you alright, Nao?"

Nao glanced at her. "Did I give you permission to speak?"


Shizuru and Rauschenberg found Nabatame doing pull-ups in her tent. She had (illegally) installed a metal pole going from one end of the tent to the other and growled out, "Thirty-two," as she pulled herself up.

The third year had her long dark hair tied up in a loose ponytail. Shizuru had never seen it like that before, but it reminded her of how Natsuki sometimes wore it during their training sessions and she thought it was cute. Nabatame's toned abdominal area was also on display due to the sports bra she was wearing. Other than that, she just wore simple army pants and her army boots.

"Akemi," Shizuru greeted as her eyes followed Nabatame's strong form lifting over the pole and then down again. "I see you are keeping yourself busy."

Nabatame offered Shizuru a cocky grin and then, with a grunt, released the pole and landed on the ground. A bead of sweat rolled down the side of her face, and she wiped at her forehead with her forearm. "Hey, Lieutenant," she then glanced at her teacher, Rauschenberg, and saluted, "Officer Rauschenberg."

Akemi was a little confused, though she didn't show it on the surface. She kept herself relaxed and laid-back, as usual. Her eyes flickered back and forth between Harris and Shizuru. Although she liked them both (Shizuru not as much due to recent events), she knew it wasn't good that they both appeared in her tent, especially with such grave expressions on their faces.

Harris offered one of her favorite students a weak smile. She couldn't do this, not when Nabatame looked so… carefree. The private first class had been rather quiet the last few days of class, but she had generally seemed fine in the midst of Tanaka's absence. Of course, Harris had suspected Nabatame was hiding the sorrow and longing, but she couldn't be sure.

Shizuru cleared her throat and then said, "There is something important we need to tell you." The Lieutenant had a feeling this wasn't going to go down well. She could tell Akemi was a passionate person. People who loved so passionately did not take news like this well.

Nabatame reached for her water bottle and tilted her head back as she downed the rest of it. Some dribbled down her chin but she didn't seem to mind, simply reaching for a towel and wiping at her body. "Yeah? What's up?" She paused and then added, "If this is about that fire in the cafeteria… I swear that was Sasaki's ide—"

"This is something else," Shizuru said, though she made a mental note to look into any mysterious cafeteria fires.

Akemi blinked, her brow furrowing.

"I think you should sit down, Nabatame," Rauschenberg suggested softly, her tone one that Nabatame hardly recognized, but knew meant serious business.

Akemi eyed the two professors warily before chucking her emptied water bottle behind her and folding her arms over her chest. "I'll stand, thanks." An uncomfortable feeling was forming in the pit of her stomach, making her almost nauseous.

Please, don't say what I think you're going to say. Please don't. I can't take that.

Shizuru and Harris exchanged glances. Shizuru then took a step forward, reaching out to firmly grasp Nabatame's shoulders as she peered into the student's dark blue eyes. Nabatame inhaled deeply, struck by those cardinal eyes and feeling guilty about it. She thought of Natsuki. Damn, that girl was one lucky chick. Or… at least she WAS one lucky chick…

"Akemi… Specialist Anastasie Tanaka has gone missing," Shizuru said as clearly as she could, so that there would be no mistaking what she had said. Shizuru's throat had tightened upon seeing Nabatame's innocent expression, and it came out sounding more like a hushed whisper instead. Shizuru prayed she wouldn't have to repeat herself.

But then she saw Akemi's eyes, and knew she wouldn't have to.

Nabatame didn't say anything. Her brow furrowed, as if she didn't quite understand. She looked into Shizuru's eyes, as if praying that Shizuru would say she was just kidding. When all she received in return was a sorrowful look, Nabatame lost focus. Her mind went fuzzy and all she could see was Tanaka's face.

Shizuru focused on Nabatame's facial expression, wanting to get a clue of what this girl was feeling. She could feel the girl tensing, see the student's eyes become dazed, sense all hope deserting Rauschenberg's top student. "Akemi, please," Shizuru said quietly, soothingly. "Speak to me, are you alright?" That was a stupid question. Of course she's not alright.

Nabatame's silence continued, though her eyes averted from Shizuru's to the ground. Her eyebrows twitched, as if she were being overcome with emotion but fighting it back. Her throat felt tight, as if she had swallowed a softball. "I—I have to go after her," Nabatame finally said, her voice full of restrained anguish and terror. Tanaka was her life, her shield, her everything. "We have to go and get her!" This time she yelled it, and violently broke free from Shizuru's grasp.

"Akemi, calm down," Shizuru tried, though she felt tears well up in her eyes as well. She couldn't imagine the feeling of loss Nabatame must be feeling. Nabatame wasn't a fool, they all knew there was a good chance Tanaka would never be seen again.

How dare I tell this girl to calm down when I know nothing of her grief? Shizuru wondered as she stared at Nabatame, who had wrapped her arms around herself and appeared to be shuddering, her eyes squeezed closed.

"We'll find her," Harris said from behind Shizuru. "I… Akemi I know you must blame me…"

Nabatame's eyes shot open and she glared daggers at Rauschenberg. She knew she shouldn't take it out on her favorite teacher, but the heart shut down the logical side of her brain and she ended up growling, "If you hadn't suggested she accept the mission… she would still be here. She'd be with me."

Shizuru, upon seeing a hot tear roll down the curve of Nabatame's cheek, felt her own threaten to fall. No, if she gave in to her weaknesses then everyone else would fall. It's how it always was. She kept her own tears to herself. She had to be strong.

"Akemi this is no one's fault." Shizuru was finding it hard to speak as well. Was this her fate as well? Natsuki's? This is what she feared the most, losing the one she loved or leaving her love behind, being where Natsuki couldn't follow or where she could not follow Natsuki. "I know how this must feel," Shizuru whispered, her accent caressing the words in a way only Shizuru could.

They did no good.

Nabatame turned rage-filled eyes on Shizuru. "What would you know about loss? You willingly lost your love! Willingly betrayed…" Fresh tears fell from her eyes and a heart-breaking sob ripped itself from Nabatame's throat, making her unable to finish. Nabatame instantly regretted those words when Shizuru's eyes widened and her own tears were finally released. Nabatame was rendered speechless. She hadn't meant to make the lieutenant cry.

But Shizuru knew it wasn't Nabatame, it was everything that was going on in her life. Seeing Nabatame cry, seeing her future so up close, was killing her. She instantly wrapped her arms around Nabatame, kissing the third year's hair and cooing, "Shhh, shhh, it'll be alright, Akemi…" I am weak.

Shizuru prayed it would be all right. She really had never felt so unsure in her life.

Feeling those arms wrap around her only served to make Akemi Nabatame cry harder. Her throat felt raw and her entire body trembled against Shizuru's. Why did Shizuru feel so much like Tanaka? Nabatame's legs lost all their strength, and the girl fell to the ground, taking Shizuru with her.

Shizuru never let go, grasping Nabatame to her chest and squeezing her in a strong embrace. Each time Nabatame let out a broken, almost feral sob, Shizuru tightened her hold and squeezed her eyes shut. "Shhh, oh Akemi… Kannin na…" she whispered against the girl's dark hair. Nabatame nuzzled into the crook of Shizuru's neck, sobbing uncontrollably, her whole body wracked with tremors.

Harris watched the entire thing unfold, eyes wide and feet frozen to the ground. She too felt tears sting her eyes. It was never a nice thing, seeing someone react to the news that the one and only soul mate they will ever have was likely no longer sharing the same Earth. It was a pain, she thought, reserved only for human beings. It was pain people had suffered since the beginning. It was written into everyone's fate.

Bringing Shizuru to this was the best idea Harris had ever had, though she had a feeling Shizuru's tears weren't solely for Nabatame's grief. Officer Rauschenberg had seen it too, the parallels between Shizuru and Natsuki's relationship and that of Tanaka and Nabatame. Harris could only wonder if Shizuru was thinking of Natsuki then.

Shizuru kissed Nabatame's hair, remembering for a flicker of a second doing the same thing to a terrified Natsuki one stormy night. Shizuru ran her hand up and down Nabatame's back and then through the girl's dark hair. "I'll find her," Shizuru whispered, giving Nabatame another tight squeeze. "I will find her and I will bring her back for you, Akemi. There is hope yet."


Natsuki was rather quiet, Rei thought, as the two trudged towards Rauschenberg's tent sector. They passed several other students. If they were third years they would wave to Rei, who would give a flirty smile and wave back. If they were second or first years, they would wave to Natsuki, who would give them a small nod of acknowledgement but continue on, not stopping to socialize.

"Are you alright?" Rei asked when Natsuki still hadn't said anything. After her talk with the redhead she had seemed to have a dampened mood. "You seem down all of a sudden."

Natsuki turned to the third year and gave her a wide smile. "I'm fine, there's just been a lot of stuff going on lately…" She trailed off, not wanting to get into details.

"You look like someone broke your heart," Rei said quietly, recognizing the look of longing and pain on Natsuki's face. This girl could not hide her emotions well. It was very endearing.

Natsuki avoided Rei's pretty hazel eyes. She knew if she looked into them she might burst. She had felt the pressure building all day, and knew it was only a matter of time. It was hard. She had no one to run to anymore. "Nope, you're mistaken."

"Am I?"

"I've never been in love," Natsuki lied, offering up a carefree shrug. "I mostly just focus on the competition these days."

In love? How do you know what the difference is between loving someone and being IN love with them? How do you know how they feel? Can you divide love? Between how many people? If you love one person, can you equally love another or do you measure love by how many times that word has been said? Or how many times it's been taken back? How many times you've wanted to say it, but didn't for some foolish reason?

What is it about that word that makes it mean so little, yet so much at the same time?

Too many questions, not enough answers. Why was it always like that?

Nabatame and Tanaka's tent was not that far off now, and at the sight of it Natsuki's spirits lifted. She wanted to talk to Nabatame. At least she understood what was going on… sort of.

"Are you afraid of dying?" The question was random, awkward. It hung in the air as Natsuki thought it over.

Was she afraid of dying? Natsuki had only feared being killed a few times, and that's when Akio had held his knife to her throat, had his gun to her back, had beaten her until she had no idea how long it had been until he had disappeared… had he even disappeared? Or maybe it was she who had disappeared.

She remembered that fear, but she had thoughts that haunted her worse than any actual experiences she had ever had. The future, she found, shook her to her core. It was so uncertain, so ominous, so… unknown. The possibility of loss often made her brain automatically switch subjects. With Akio she could expect him to throw her around and threaten and break her but with the future… she had no idea what to expect. What was coming? And why did she have a feeling it would be worse, if only because she knew Shizuru would likely be involved?

"No," Natsuki answered honestly. Natsuki didn't fear her own death, but she certainly regretted allowing Rei to tag along. Sure, the girl was company and Natsuki felt like she owed her a proper apology, but she was beginning to see Nabatame not being too pleased with that decision. She did enjoy Rei's company, it was nice having someone new to talk to, someone who didn't know… everything that was going on in her life. It made Natsuki feel a bit anonymous. Rei didn't know everything, she wouldn't question Natsuki, she wouldn't remind Natsuki. It was okay. It's probably the reason Natsuki let her tag along. Being alone was getting lonely and having all your friends know your problems only served to be a constant reminder, especially when they all tip-toed around you like you'd break any second.

I'm stronger than that, Natsuki thought. I won't break.

Rei said nothing more, taking Natsuki's short answers as a cue to shut up. She had no idea how she got so lucky in the first place. Here she was, walking side by side with one of Garderobe's finest, most talented students. Girls wanted to be Natsuki Kuga. They were jealous of Natsuki Kuga, but they adored her at the same time. Boys were all in love with Natsuki Kuga, wanting to date the bad ass first year that had trumped the competition and was going up against the fierce Tomoe Marguerite.

Natsuki Kuga was fearless. Natsuki Kuga was a winner. Natsuki Kuga… was incredibly attractive. Rei Nara wanted to possess her, wanted to show Natsuki off to all her friends and show that she, Rei Nara, was friends—or more—with Garderobe's rising star.

Hell, if Rei could even get to spar with Natsuki, just for a second, then she could even say she had helped with Natsuki's training. Already she would be offered missions and entry into the government's top institutions and programs. Having Natsuki Kuga on your resume wasn't a bad idea.

They finally reached Nabatame and Tanaka's tent.

Natsuki paused just outside, hearing something from inside. Suddenly, the grief-stricken sob of someone whose world who had just shattered reached Natsuki's ears. She wasted no time in racing into the tent.


The sight that lay before her was truly one to behold, causing Natsuki to drop her duffle bag to the ground.

Natsuki's thoughts instantly led her to an old movie she had seen once. She was much too young to remember much of it. The plot… she couldn't even remember the plot. She did, however, remember one scene. Two women clung to each other as if their very lives depended on it. They howled in their shared agony, clutching the other desperately, as if they were afraid the world would slip away if they let go.

Natsuki didn't know why she remembered this particular scene. Maybe because her mother's quiet sniffles had fascinated her. Saeko Kuga was an extraordinary woman, and Natsuki couldn't remember ever seeing her mother cry before that night, as they sat on their couch in the TV room and watched a movie together. Natsuki couldn't remember where her father was, but she remembered not caring much.

The scene in front of her brought back that film, playing in her head as if she were a child yet again, sitting beside her mother, watching with wide eyes, not understanding. What was this they were in such pain over?

Was it love?

What is love?

How do you measure love?

For another split second, Natsuki could've sworn she saw Shizuru and a copy of herself holding each other like there would be no tomorrow. But it wasn't her Shizuru was holding, it was Akemi Nabatame.

"N-Nabatame…" Natsuki uttered, eyes wide. She had never expected to see the brave, goofy Private First Class Akemi Nabatame crying. She looked so destroyed, and when she let out another loud sob… it was as if the world was inevitably about to end.

Natsuki took a stilted step into the room. It seemed, to her, that Shizuru had everything covered. Not surprising. Shizuru was great at the types of things Natsuki would be awkward at, like comforting people.

Why was Shizuru here? Everywhere! In Natsuki's mind, printed behind her eyelids like some constant reminder of what she had and what she had lost. Shizuru was supposed to be back at the library, where Natsuki left her.

Shizuru ran her hands through Nabatame's hair again, marveling at the dark color against her pale fingers. Suddenly those dark ruby eyes shifted to where Natsuki and Rei stood just by the entrance.

Natsuki froze. "Shi-Shizuru…" she stuttered, feeling stupid when the name came out sounding so… wrong. She cleared her throat and corrected herself, remembering where she was. "Er, I mean Lieutenant Fujino…."

Nabatame seemed to stop crying so loudly upon hearing Natsuki's voice. Not out of embarrassment, but she wanted to hear what Natsuki had to say, if anything.

"What happened?" Natsuki asked, glancing over her shoulder at a shocked Rei and taking another step into the room.

Officer Rauschenberg gave Natsuki an apologetic look. "Perhaps it's best if you come back—"

"No," Nabatame called out, her voice sounding raw, like her howls had scraped the insides of her throat. Blue eyes peeked at Natsuki from under Shizuru's chin. "Kuga can stay."

Natsuki, against all logic, felt a burst of jealousy. Why did Nabatame get to hold Shizuru like that? Why did Shizuru hold Nabatame and touch her as if she were in love with her? Natsuki's jaw tightened until she told herself she was being ridiculous. Now was not the time for her issues with Shizuru to surface. Her friend needed her.

"Tell me what happened," Natsuki said, walking forward and kneeling down next to Nabatame and Shizuru.

Shizuru's wine red eyes hadn't left Natsuki's face, watching her with the kind of adoration Natsuki was praying she wouldn't see in Shizuru. If she saw that look of love, then why didn't she feel it? It made it worse.

Shizuru finally turned back to Nabatame, running her hand up and down the crying girl's back. "I regret to inform you that Specialist Anastasie Tanaka is currently… missing in action." Shizuru met Natsuki's shocked eyes, a grave expression on her face, "But she is not dead."

"Or so you think," Nabatame grumbled. She knew the chances of Tanaka being dead were frighteningly high. She wasn't stupid. War wasn't a game no matter how much she liked to pretend it was, and whether the government acknowledged it or not, the Renegades were certainly at war with Japan's current government and they were gaining strength.

Shizuru gave Nabatame another reassuring squeeze. Natsuki longed to be Nabatame, just for a minute or even just a second, to feel that warmth, to feel that touch.

The third year had stopped crying as heavily, though she looked so shaken, Rauschenberg almost expected her to collapse into the ground. "I'm sorry, Nabatame," Harris said somberly, shifting her weight foot to foot awkwardly.

Nabatame looked up at her teacher through tear-filled eyes. "It's… I know it's not your fault…" she trailed off, realizing she really would love to blame it on Rauschenberg but knowing deep down that it was no one's fault. No one's fault other than the bastards that stole her love from her!

Harris Rauschenberg had been a great teacher, amazing even. How else would Nabatame and Tanaka be so talented had they not learned from the best? No, Nabatame knew she shouldn't blame her teacher. If Anastasie was still alive, it would be because of Rauschenberg's excellent training.

But one thing Nabatame did not understand was why the hell Rei Freakin' Nara was in her tent. She felt a little ridiculous being seen so vulnerable by an old enemy. Her eyes narrowed at the pretty girl standing just behind Natsuki.

"What is she doing here?" Nabatame snarled, making to stand up. Shizuru helped her up, placing an arm of support around Nabatame just in case she broke down again.

Nabatame's legs felt like jelly and her body still had tremors going through it, but she managed to stand straight and tall, staring Rei straight into the eyes. "What," she repeated, "is she doing here?"

Natsuki blinked, having thought Nabatame was looking at her for some reason. Instead, she remembered Rei was behind her, and she turned to look back at the girl. The third year's hazel eyes met Natsuki's and she lifted a slender brow, as if to say 'What do you want me to say? Why AM I here? By the way, did I mention Nabatame hates me? And I hate her?'

Natsuki looked back at Nabatame and said, "Uh, she wanted to come. We were on our way to get you to see if you wanted to train…" Natsuki trailed off, her eyes meeting with the stern ones of her ex-lover.

"You were cutting class?" Shizuru asked, her expression stoic.

This wasn't about cutting class, Natsuki knew. It was about cutting class to train… and bringing Rei Nara along with her. That had to be it. Shizuru was usually quite lenient when it came to Natsuki cutting class to train, though she usually got permission first.

Besides, wasn't Shizuru cutting class as well? Last Natsuki checked, Shizuru was supposed to be overlooking her class in the library.

Natsuki wanted to see that smile again. That beautiful, perfect, smile that always had a bit of inner sorrow behind it. It was so innocent, yet mischievous at the same time, like she had a secret. You'd have to know what you were looking for.

Natsuki knew now wasn't a time to smile. Tanaka was missing. There was no way Shizuru would smile for her. Was it selfish to wish she could see it just for a second?

Private Kuga couldn't imagine how Nabatame must feel. The thought of losing someone like that, the person closest to her heart… how angry you must become! Feeling angry at the world, feeling angry at your lost love, feeling angry towards anyone stupid enough to look at you the wrong way.

Natsuki noticed Shizuru was staring at her again. Oh right, she hadn't answered the question. "Yup," she replied. "Cutting your class, sorry, more important things to do." She waved her hand dismissively. "You know how it is."

Shizuru had to admit, she'd prefer Natsuki train hard for her match with Tomoe rather than stay in class. Class wasn't going to help her beat Tomoe, only hardcore training would.

And I am the best to train her, but she would not let me near her now, Shizuru thought with an inward groan. She had been angry before, but she knew… she knew this wasn't Natsuki's fault.

The blame is mine.

All of it.

"Very well then," Shizuru murmured, glancing at Rei, who continued lurking behind Natsuki. "Your absence is excused."

Rei straightened when those rubies landed on her, burning through her like an all-consuming wildfire. The third year swallowed, finally averting her gaze from the lieutenant's. What is her problem? There's no way she could know Rei had left work early, so what was with the death glare?

Rei met Nabatame's eyes instead. Oops. That didn't help either. Nabatame's blue gaze was fierce and lethal. Kato's would-be victim blinked and then stepped closer to Natsuki, wrapping an arm around Natsuki's as if for protection.

Natsuki hardly noticed, but Shizuru did, her eyes drawn to the touching like a moth to the flame, as if an inner alarm in Shizuru went off the second Rei's skin touched Natsuki's. Why did Rei Nara think it was okay for her to touch Natsuki like that? How well did Rei even know Natsuki? And… no, Shizuru wouldn't go there, she knew deep down Nao was not relevant to who touched Natsuki and who didn't… she knew.

Didn't she?

"Nabatame…" Natsuki said quietly, not realizing everyone else in the room was focused on how Rei had attached herself to Natsuki's side. "I… I'm sorry…" the first year was at a loss for words. What do you say to someone whose world had just been shattered?

'Here, let me pick those pieces up for you.'?

Nabatame shook her head. "Don't be. There's nothing to be sorry for." The third year's voice was still gruff, her throat raw from all that screaming and crying. She separated herself from Shizuru, having felt bad for accepting the love and comfort Shizuru hadn't spared Natsuki.

Everyone watched in silence as Nabatame made her way over to her mini-fridge (also illegal to have in a tent) and opened it up. She gave everyone in the room an expressionless look. "Anyone want a water?"

Everyone shook their heads, except Rei, who knew Nabatame wouldn't have given her one even if she had asked.

Nabatame grabbed a water bottle, opened it, and downed nearly half the bottle in one go. She wiped at her mouth with her forearm and took a deep breath. She held back any fresh tears.

It almost hurt to breath, just thinking of Tanaka lying somewhere in the cold snow of the area surrounding Fort Rust… bleeding to death, wanting to see Nabatame one last time, reaching for the sky with the last of her strength, using her last breath to whisper her love's name…

But if a soldier falls in the snowy forest and no one is around to hear her, does she make a sound?

When Nabatame finished her bottle in silence she met Natsuki's eyes, a new ferocity in her blue eyes. "Let's go train you, Kuga."

Natsuki blinked. "I… um… are you sure, Nabatame? Shouldn't you rest a bit?"

Shizuru didn't like the sound of that at all. Nabatame was emotionally unstable and probably did not care about anything at the moment. Having Natsuki train with Nabatame in her condition could be dangerous.

She cleared her throat. "I am not sure if that is such a good idea either…"

Rei's lips twitched as she tried to hold back a satisfied smile.

Rauschenberg stayed silent, not really getting why Nabatame training Natsuki now was a bad idea. "I don't see why not," the officer said, completely not registering Shizuru's looks that told her to stop talking, "it'll help her get her mind off things."

Nabatame nodded, crunched her empty water bottle in her hand, and stalked past Shizuru and Harris, grabbing Natsuki's other arm, the one not entangled with Rei's, and dragged the first year out of the tent and into the cool late winter weather.

Shizuru exchanged looks with Rauschenberg.

"Hey, that Rei Nara girl is really diggin' Kuga, huh?" Harris commented, thoughtful.

Shizuru's lips twitched. "Is she? I did not notice."

The two women exited the tent. They saw Nabatame, followed by Natsuki and Rei, already half way to the gym. "That girl… I cannot imagine what that is like," Rauschenberg murmured sadly, her expression growing wistful.

Once again Shizuru wondered what had happened in her friend's past. The woman was mysterious to say the least, and never divulged that much personal information though Shizuru considered them very good friends. Rauschenberg was very reliable and warm, though her cool brown eyes often spoke of past horror, Shizuru never knew what those horrors were. If she even ventured into that territory, what had happened on Rauschenberg's mission, the other teacher would simply reply, "Classified information, Shizuru, sorry."

Shizuru could however, imagine what Nabatame must feel like. Her sorrow, her cries, it sounded so similar to Shizuru's own inner fear. The thing she feared most in the world had happened to Nabatame.

I must speak with Natsuki. I have to… I have to make things right before I lose her forever. Before I… before we run out of time.

Shizuru made a mental note to talk to Natsuki sometime that day. She knew it was pointless to try and talk to Natsuki when Natsuki so obviously was not ready to or willing to listen, it would be like talking to a brick wall, but Shizuru knew she had to try. She had to tell Natsuki the words in her heart or she'd go mad. At this point it didn't matter if Natsuki listened or not, Shizuru would make her listen.


Natsuki walked alongside Rei. Nabatame was a few feet ahead of them, stomping through the school campus like a titan about to tear down Olympus.

"She seems upset," Rei commented.

No, really? Natsuki resisted the urge to roll her eyes and instead muttered, "Stay back here for a second," as she jogged to catch up with the third year. She reached out a hand and placed it on Nabatame's shoulder "Hey."

Nabatame glanced sideways at Natsuki, and Natsuki almost flinched away. "Hey," she replied before staring straight ahead again.

The gym was not that far away, especially with the speed Nabatame was setting for the three of them to walk in.

"Nabatame—"

"Why is she here?" The third year interrupted, shooting a glare over her shoulder at Rei Nara, who followed the two girls at a safe distance. When Rei lifted a brow, Nabatame turned back to Natsuki. "She's bad news."

Natsuki nodded. "I know she can't be the greatest person in the world. I haven't forgotten Kato's bullying or her… proposition on the night of that party but I feel like I owe her something. Besides, she's been really nice so far."

Nabatame didn't seem to be convinced. She opened the doors to the gym and then let Natsuki take the lead. Natsuki headed straight for her favorite workout room, it was the same one she and Shizuru had often trained in. In fact, it was the same room Nabatame and Tanaka used to train her in. Natsuki wondered if maybe that decision had been a bad one. She didn't want to remind Nabatame of Tanaka, though she had a feeling that's all the other girl was thinking about anyway.

"She's not trying to befriend you Natsuki," Nabatame said as she headed to one corner of the room and dropped her bag off. She turned around, watching as Natsuki too approached and dropped her duffle bag next to Nabatame's.

"What do you mean?"

"She wants something from you. Either sex or popularity from being with you or something, anything she can get from you. Rei Nara is a snake, trust me."

Natsuki grabbed Nabatame's arm just as the third year was about to stretch. Nabatame met her gaze and Natsuki had to swallow at the intensity. She was afraid Nabatame would slug her. After she regained her courage she asked, "Will you explain to me why you know these things? Or am I going to have to guess?"

Nabatame sighed and glanced at Rei, who had her cell phone out and was leaning against the far side of the workout room, eyes focused on the small screen. There was no way she would overhear them, but she would know they were talking about her.

Nabatame lowered her voice, "Last year Rei followed me around, tried to befriend me, and offered to spar with me every day. She seemed nice at first, but then I realized she was only using me to get popular. I was the top second year in the school, and so everyone knew of me. Natsuki, you're the youngest first year ever to make it to the final match of the competition and everyone knows who you are now. You're like a popularity gold mine. I'd be damned surprised if she weren't trying to pull the same thing with you." She paused and added, "I'm pretty sure she got that job at the library because she mentioned that she used to tutor me or some stupid lie like that. Lord knows the girl doesn't have the brains to read a good book."

Natsuki blinked. She had never seen herself as a popularity goldmine, and hated herself when she realized she was slightly flattered at that. "Well, how'd you get rid of her? Why the sour feelings?"

Nabatame's eyes softened, her lips twitching into a fond smile as she saw something Natsuki's couldn't see. "T-Tanaka tranq'd her when she tried to put the moves on me… it was… funny."

Natsuki wanted to laugh at the image in her head; Tanaka was a total badass! But the look of pure anguish that came over Nabatame made her chest seize, and she tugged Nabatame into a tight hug instead. "Shizuru knows what she's doing," Natsuki whispered into Nabatame's hair. "I… when I go with her, I will help her bring Tanaka back."

Nabatame pulled back and stared into Natsuki's pure green eyes. She was overcome with a feeling of gratitude towards one of the greatest friends she had ever had. Being number one didn't always make you popular with the rest of your peers. Everyone knew you, sure, but that didn't mean they didn't also resent you for your talents. Luckily, Natsuki didn't seem to have this same problem that Nabatame had growing up. Perhaps it was a sign of the times?

"You're too good, Natsuki Kuga," Nabatame said with a weak smile as she playfully tousled Natsuki's hair and then turned to glance at Rei, who was still preoccupied with her phone. "Just watch out for her. She's sneaky."

Natsuki gave a curt nod and then fixed her hair. "Will do."

Nabatame had to admit, she was surprised Natsuki still wanted to compete, still wanted to go on this mission with Shizuru. Then again, she shouldn't be surprised. Natsuki was a determined girl. She deserved everything she wanted and more.

"Come on," Nabatame said, smiling for the first time since hearing the news about Tanaka. "Let's do some stretches and do some quick warm ups. I'm not going to take it easy on you today, too much energy."

Natsuki inwardly cringed. She wasn't in the mood for a beat down, but if it would make her better she would do it. There was no more fooling around now. "Alright," she agreed as she stood next to Nabatame and then mimicked the third year's stretches.


"Will you tell me why," Haruka said, peering at Shizuru over a pile of papers. "Your student came in here today requesting I sign these," the blonde placed the pile of papers to the side and slid a separate, smaller piece of paper towards Shizuru, who sat dumbfounded on the other side of the desk.

Shizuru looked down and reached for the piece of paper. It looked like a form of some sort. Shizuru recognized Natsuki's messy handwriting and Haruka's signature just below it.

Shizuru's eyes trailed over the form, and when the words she read processed in her mind, her heart froze in her chest. Panicked crimson met with Haruka's violet. "Tell me you do not plan on going through with this. She is not thinking!"

Haruka huffed and reached for the form back from Shizuru, but Shizuru quickly pulled it just out of Haruka's grasp. The sergeant peered at Shizuru and grumbled, "She seemed to know perfectly well what she was doing." Haruka would know, she had asked Natsuki if she was sure several times before signing the form.

Shizuru's hands were shaking and her palms were sweaty as her fingers clutched at the form. "She… she did not mean it. Please, let me talk to her before you go through with this." Shizuru gave the form a shake, and wondered if she could possibly accidentally rip it.

Haruka shrugged. "I don't even know if it is possible. It's so late in the school year and it's so out of the blue. It might even be impossible for her at this point."

Shizuru felt some hope in her chest and she slid further back into the office chair. She let out a long sigh. "Alright."

Was there any good that could come from this? She wondered. There would be fewer distractions in class for one. She wouldn't randomly cut off in the middle of an explanation just because her eyes met those beautiful emeralds. She wouldn't have an overwhelming urge to walk over to Natsuki's desk, lean down, and surprise her student with a kiss. Those days were the worst, watching Natsuki sitting there at her desk and being unable to touch her. It was the worst kind of torture, but Shizuru had been content just to watch before she had ever known what it was like to touch. Touching Natsuki had been her downfall, her forbidden fruit. One taste and she had to have more.

No, Natsuki couldn't leave her class. It would make getting through the school day even more unbearable! Who would she 'accidentally' touch during training period? Who would she sneak a peek at? She could hardly remember what class was like before Natsuki was in it. There was only Shizuru's life pre-Natsuki and, now, Shizuru's miserable life post-Natsuki.

"Shizuru, why did Natsuki fill out a request to change classes? Teachers?" Haruka asked, her chin resting on her fist. She stared at Shizuru with pity. "What is going on with you two? I've been hearing all kinds of crazy rumors…" From those delinquent kids loitering in my halls.

Shizuru's expression darkened and she averted her gaze from the searching one of her old friend. "We… had a problem…"

Haruka appeared bored. She arched a brow. "Oh really? Care to enlighten me?"

Shizuru forced herself to meet Haruka's eyes. She held her chin high, and tried to look as confident as possible as she whispered, "I am a fool, Haruka."

"Tell me something I don't know, Bubuzuke."


Natsuki let out a grunt as she fell, rather roughly, onto her back for what was maybe, what, the fifth time? She had lost count. She sat up and let out a groan, rubbing at her lower back and shooting a glare at the third year peering down at her.

"I told you I wouldn't be taking it easy on you, Kuga," Nabatame said with a shrug in response to Kuga's glare. "Just be thankful I'm not beating your ass as badly as Searrs." Nabatame instantly shut up, realizing what she had just said. She winced when she saw—no—felt Natsuki shrink into herself. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean—"

"I know," Natsuki grumbled as she jumped to her feet. At the feeling of pain spreading up and down her spine, she wished she had gone with a less 'badass' way to get to her feet. "Don't worry about it."

Nabatame still felt a bit bad. She had only mentioned Alyssa because she remembered watching as Alyssa mercilessly beat her lesson into Natsuki not too long ago. She realized apologizing again would not be welcome, and she instead asked, "Wanna go again?"

Natsuki cracked her knuckles and gave a curt nod, her determined green eyes meeting with Nabatame's blue. "Of course. Can I get a five minute break though?"

Nabatame nodded. "Sure."

The first year turned and walked over to where she had carelessly dropped her stuff. Rei Nara was sitting beside Natsuki's water bottle, a sly smile appearing on her lips as Natsuki approached.

"You looked great out there," Nara complimented as she passed Natsuki the water bottle.

Natsuki took it and smiled. She waited until after she had downed half the bottle before replying. "I have no idea what you're talking about. I'm getting my ass kicked." She stretched her arms and then placed both of her hands on her lower back and bent backwards. "Goddamn, my back hurts."

Rei stood up from her sitting position against the wall and gently placed her hand on Natsuki's lower back. "It hurts here?"

Natsuki swallowed and instantly straightened. "Uh, well yeah."

Nara's hand slid under the back of Natsuki's tank top and pressed into the flesh. She put pressure on her fingers and moved them in circular motions, causing shivers to go up and down Natsuki's spine. She couldn't help but let a pleased moan escape. The small massage felt like heaven to sore muscles.

Nabatame, ears perking up at the barely audible sound, glanced over to see what had created the moan. She scowled and rolled her eyes before averting her attention to other things. Like the picture of her and Tanaka she always placed into her uniform's top left pocket every day before going out.

"That feels good," Natsuki admitted, her eyes closing as Rei moved completely behind Natsuki and let her other hand join in on the fun.

"Does it? That's good," she cooed, moving her fingers and thumbs slowly up Natsuki's back. "Wow your muscles are so tight," she exclaimed, as if she were both concerned and shocked. "Have you been really stressed out lately?"

Natsuki let out a huff. "You could say that."

There was something icky about someone touching her. She had never been one for touching, especially ever since… that had happened. She had never been the same. But she had slowly gotten over her issues with the help of Shizuru. Shizuru touched her often and a lot, and Natsuki enjoyed every second of it. It had made Natsuki all right with touching, at least light touching, from her friends. It was still not a completely okay thing yet, but she was working on it.

This, however, was a little more intimate, and though Natsuki enjoyed it immensely she still felt a bit nauseas at the feeling of someone else's fingers touching her in such places. This wasn't a light tap on the shoulder from Mai, this wasn't Chie poking her in the ribs, and this definitely was not Nao smacking her over the head or hugging her. This was Rei Nara rubbing circles into her sore back. It felt good, but it made Natsuki feel… wrong.

Before Natsuki could say anything, Nabatame had beaten her to it. "Hey, isn't there some guy you should be blowing right now?"

Nara's ministrations stopped and she peered lazily over at her peer. "Excuse me?" She asked, her jaw tight.

Natsuki moved away from Rei and cleared her throat, sensing that this situation was about to escalate to places she didn't want it to go. Emotions were running high with Nabatame, and Natsuki was well aware of Nabatame's reputation as a 'loose cannon.'

"I said—" Nabatame started again, taking a step towards Natsuki and Rei.

"Should we get back to training?" Natsuki asked quickly.

Rei ignored Nabatame and gave Natsuki a small smile. "If you'd like, I can give you a quick massage and you can get back to training."

"She doesn't need your massage, you hussy," Nabatame barked. "Give me my first year mini-me back or I will break every single one of your fake nails, which I know you consider a fate worse than death."

A muscle in Rei's face twitched. Her nails were real, for one. "It's called a manicure, you knuckle-dragging Neanderthal. And Natsuki isn't your 'mini-me,' if she was, I wouldn't hang out with her!"

Natsuki let out a groan. "Seriously, guys, I need to train—"

"Oh, I see how it is. Still butthurt over me rejecting you and my girlfriend tranq'ing your pathetically unimpressive ass?"

Rei's jaw dropped and Nabatame couldn't look happier. The top third year folded her arms over her chest and looked triumphant.

Natsuki got an even worse feeling about the situation when Rei's eyes narrowed and she looked damn near evil. The usually pretty third year's nostrils flared and she looked like she was about to bare her teeth and snarl like an animal.

Catfight? Natsuki wondered.

"At least," Rei growled, "I'm not missing in action like your French girlfriend." A cruel grin formed on her lips and she added, "I bet you she surrendered. It's the only war strategy the French know, isn't it? How to flee?"

That was it. Nabatame's eyes filled with such rage it appeared like she was going to bring the entire building down. She let out another angry growl, "You're going to regret that, Nara," before stomping menacingly towards the other third year.

Rei shoved Natsuki aside and prepared to defend herself from the oncoming onslaught.

But Natsuki wasn't one to just be shoved aside. She quickly jumped in front of Rei. Though she was on Nabatame's side, and also wanted to pummel Rei for the comments she made, she didn't want to see Nabatame get kicked out of school for murdering another student.

"Nabatame stop!" Natsuki yelled, her tone desperate as she spread her arms to her sides in a protective manner. Rei stood behind her, looking unhappy.

Nabatame came to a stop but she didn't take her eyes off of Rei. Piercing sapphires bore into Rei's hazel. "You're really going to take her side over mine, Natsuki?" Nabatame asked, finally snapping her gaze to Natsuki's.

Natsuki swallowed hard. Nabatame looked stone cold, like the muscles in her face turned to ice. Her body appeared still, but Natsuki could see the third year's fists trembling at her sides, begging to make contact with Rei's face. Though Nabatame was trying, the raging animal in her was charging to get out. It wanted blood. Sure, Nabatame probably wouldn't kill Rei, but she'd get close if Natsuki let her do her thing.

"I'm on your side," Natsuki said seriously, trying to keep her tone as soothing as possible. This was something Shizuru was much better at, of course, and for what was the hundredth time that day, she wished the Kyoto woman were nearby.

Bail me out, Shizuru. Show up at the perfect time, add the weight of my world to the weight of your own, save me endlessly.

"Doesn't look like it," Nabatame snapped. Her anger was bleeding out of her in spasms, invisible but felt by everyone in the room. It was like hot fire, and the receiver of such flames would be burned badly.

Natsuki tried to give Nabatame the 'Shizuru' look. The one that seemed to make anyone calm down, anyone mesmerized, anyone do whatever Shizuru asked them to do. "I agree, what Rei said was awful, but I won't let you take out your anger on her." Natsuki paused and then added, "If you get kicked out of Garderobe… I wouldn't know what to do."

There was a small spark in Nabatame's eyes, and Natsuki could see there was some understanding going on in the third year's brain. Natsuki was protecting Rei for Nabatame's sake.

The top third year felt a pang of longing for her girlfriend. She just wanted to curl up inside her woman's arms and cuddle all night. But that might never happen again. Nabatame shook the thoughts from her head, or at least she tried to, they stayed there. "I have to go," she growled as she turned to grab her things.

Natsuki lowered her arms, not liking that she had to protect Rei Nara from a beat down she felt was sorely deserved. She watched as Nabatame gathered her things. She didn't like that her training was ending now, but she figured it was best. Nabatame was in no condition to train and Natsuki could use the time to check out that anatomy book Chie had found for her.

Nabatame, duffle bag over her shoulder, shot Rei a glare just before leaving. "This isn't over, Nara." And with that, she was gone.

Natsuki sighed and ran her hand through her hair. "Damn," she muttered, wondering what to do with Nabatame. A part of her wanted to run after the third year and spend the rest of the day watching shitty movies but she knew she couldn't do that. She had to train.

Rei didn't say anything at first, which made Natsuki angry.

"Nothing to say?" Natsuki snapped when she turned to face the other third year.

Rei's brow furrowed only slightly. Natsuki could see the wheels turning in the girl's head as she thought over what to say. Finally, she cleared her throat and said, "I was wrong to say those things about Tanaka. Nabatame is having a hard time and I was a bitch."

Natsuki blinked. She had expected Rei to stubbornly say, 'She started it.' She was mildly impressed with Rei's sudden maturity, but no less pissed. What she had said was wrong and provocative.

"I'm sorry," Rei repeated again, her voice meek, her eyes apologetic.

Natsuki opened her mouth but snapped it shut again. Rei seemed sorry, had apologized twice now, and Natsuki did not have time for this crap. "Apologize to Nabatame when you see her," Natsuki finally ended up saying. She sighed, ran her hands through her hair, and stared dully up at the ceiling. She sighed again.

Rei frowned a bit upon noticing Natsuki's unhappiness. Great, she thought, I just cost her her trainer. "I can spar with you a bit, if you'd like," Rei offered, a hopeful smile on her face. "I know I'm not as good as Nabatame but I'm still a third year. Don't underestimate me."

Natsuki brought her gaze back down and gave Rei a skeptical look. "Uh-huh. I'm pretty sure Kato took you down, and he's a second year."

"That's not fair, he ambushed me."

Natsuki chuckled. "Right, right, sorry."

That was still no excuse, Natsuki thought. Garderobe students had to be prepared for anything at all times. Their reflexes were supposed to be the fastest. They couldn't be ambushed! This is why Rei reminded Natsuki more of a normal high school student. Did she even have what it took to be a soldier? It didn't seem likely.

"Well?" Rei asked, waggling her brows. "Want to spar a bit?"

Natsuki hesitated, but eventually nodded. At this point, what other options did she have? Any practice would be good practice.


Rei wasn't strong. Every punch she landed was weak, as if she had no force. Natsuki wondered if Rei was just taking it easy on her, but something told her the older girl was really just afraid of breaking a nail or something similar.

Rei was, however, pretty quick, and though a good punch would knock her down, it would take Natsuki a while to even land one. The girl was agile, moving from left to right, avoiding being hit as if her life depended on it. Natsuki wondered if she just didn't want any bruises on her pretty face.

Thirty minutes later, and Rei was too exhausted to keep avoiding Natsuki's fists. Natsuki, who liked to think she was pretty fast and was actually known for her speed, was grateful. A slowed down opponent was an easy target.

Two seconds later, and Rei was on the ground. She landed with a thud onto her back and let out a gasp. Natsuki hoped she hadn't hurt Rei, too much anyway, and waited for the older girl to get up.

"Ow," she muttered, sitting up and peering at the first year. "You're tough, girl." She smiled then, and Natsuki felt both relieved and disappointed.

"So you're okay?"

"Yeah, that was fun," she insisted, making to stand up. Natsuki helped her up and blinked as Rei stumbled onto her.

"Uh," Natsuki uttered, looking curiously into Rei's eyes. Her face was suddenly too close, and Natsuki quickly helped her up before moving a few feet back. "So, you look tired, maybe you should head out."

Rei stretched a bit and then peered at Natsuki with suspicious eyes. "Why? Trying to get rid of me, Kuga?"

"N-No I, uh," Natsuki searched her brain for an excuse. She wanted to practice the Kiyohime move. After all, she now had Shizuru's very own book to help her out. A thought struck her. How could she practice without a dummy?

"Well?" Rei said, sauntering closer, her movements slow and deliberate. Natsuki swallowed. "We can just hang out," the third year offered, her face getting much too close yet again.

It's not that Natsuki didn't like the sight, Rei was gorgeous, but it was not the sight she wanted. Besides, people invading her personal space made her uncomfortable beyond belief.

Natsuki noticed a punching bag nearby, and she felt relieved. "I think I'll just punch that bag."

"Huh?"

Natsuki laughed nervously and discreetly took a step backwards. "I meant that I think I'll just work on that punching bag over there… could use the cardio and work on my form, you know." She shrugged, hoping that she didn't look nearly as nervous as she felt.

Rei looked over her shoulder at the punching bag and then returned her gaze to Natsuki's. Disappointment shimmered in her hazel. "I see…" She paused and then added, "Are you sure? I can keep you company while you—"

A pointed look from the shorter first year cut her off. "Don't be ridiculous, Rei. Just go back to work, I'll be fine on my own."

"You sure? Not like I've known you long, but I've seen you in the library and you… well you look down sometimes."

Natsuki's eyes widened a fraction and her breath caught in her throat. Damn it. Her sorrow was visible? She thought of Shizuru, the woman that had given her everything when she had nothing, and once again longed for her touch, her love.

Rei suddenly looked panicked, and she lightly touched Natsuki's arm. "Are you alright? Did I say something wrong?" She cutely bit at her lower lip and then asked, "Do you want to talk about it?"

It took her a minute, but Natsuki finally managed to shake her head. "Ah… no, I'll get over it. It's just a… thing." She let out a fake laugh. "Don't worry about it."

The third year looked unconvinced, but realized Natsuki needed some alone time. "Alright... well, we can do this again tomorrow since I doubt Nabatame will be around."

Natsuki found herself nodding, and then mentally cursed when she realized that, as much as she liked Rei, she wasn't the best of sparring partners. Sure, she wasn't bad, but she had gotten a much better training session with… Shizuru. Maybe I can ask Anh to train me? Or… Rauschenberg? Rauschenberg trained Nabatame and Tanaka, right?

Then again, Natsuki really wanted to focus on learning Kiyohime before the final match. If she could learn it in time, that would be great!

"Actually," Natsuki started, "I was going to practice how to learn a new move tomorrow, that's potentially dangerous, so I'll probably be by myself."

This seemed to amaze Rei, and she suddenly looked absolutely interested. "Oh, cool! A new move? Which one? Maybe I can help."

"Uh," Natsuki swallowed, was she allowed to tell people? The way Rei was looking at her though, all excited and eager for a secret, made Natsuki want to share. "Have you heard of the Kiyohime?"

Rei's jaw dropped. "No way! Is Lieutenant Fujino teaching you? That's crazy! How did you get permission?"

Natsuki fidgeted a bit but had to admit, it felt pretty cool. "Uh, getting permission was difficult," she lied. "And no, Shi—Fujino isn't teaching me. I'm teaching myself."

At this, Rei appeared taken aback. Her brow furrowed and she tilted her head slightly. "You… how can you possibly teach that to yourself? That's impossible."

"No I'll work it out. Lieutenant Fujino did it, didn't she?"

"I don't know, did she? Nobody knows, really."

"She invented it," Natsuki pointed out. "By herself. She didn't need help."

Rei's lips twisted into a frown. "Yeah, right. Fujino's got to be helping you. There's no way you could learn it without her." The third year become thoughtful, and then asked, "Are you and Lieutenant Fujino close?" She swallowed hard and then blinked at the pained look on Natsuki's face. Holy shit, she wondered. Were the rumors true? "Na—" She reached out, gently touching Natsuki's face.

Natsuki turned her face away but kept her eyes on Rei's. She knew what the third year was about to ask, and couldn't handle that right now. No the rumors are not true! Not anymore! "Don't," Natsuki said quickly. "No."

Rei stepped back, realizing she was entering territory she was not welcome in. Unfortunate, she thought, since her interest was now piqued. It would make sense, she realized, what with Shizuru always looking at her funny. Could it be because of the attention I am giving her student? Rei thought about it some more and then decided her imagination was getting out of hand. There's no way Fujino was sleeping with Kuga. No way! She almost laughed out loud at her inward thoughts. Too funny, what a joke!

"I'll see you again tomorrow, Natsuki," Rei said, her tone soothing. She lowered her eyelids a bit and gave Natsuki a sly smile before giving a quick wink, turning, and leaving the room.

Natsuki realized how smelly the gym was when the perfume Rei seemed to radiate had disappeared with her out the door. Natsuki was thankful to have some alone time. She hadn't realized it, but even being with Nabatame was emotionally exhausting. When you're hurting, it's not wise to hang out with other people that are hurting. Especially if 'hanging out' is beating each other up. Hurt people can hurt.

Natsuki rubbed at her arm and then slowly made her way over to the punching bag. She glanced over at her duffle bag, knowing that Shizuru's book rested in there. It begged her to be opened, to be read. Learn from me!

How did I get this book, Natsuki suddenly wondered. There was no way the library would keep an outdated anatomy book on its shelves, not to mention the book itself says it was never returned to the library ever since Shizuru had taken it out all those years ago. That would make it Shizuru's possession, yet Chie had been the one to give it to her. At least, Chie had been the one to give it to Shizuru to give to her. So either Shizuru didn't take a good look at the book Chie had given her to give to Natsuki or she knew damn well what was in the book and had somehow planned for it to fall into Natsuki's possession.

Maybe she should ask Chie specifically where she got the book.

Natsuki wrapped her hands, remembering how Tanaka taught her how. She felt a stab at her heart as she realized that she might never see Tanaka again. Or worse, she would, but it would be in a coffin. Poor Nabatame, Natsuki thought.

And then she saw Shizuru in a coffin.

Natsuki's heart threatened to rip out of her chest and she had to fight to keep her balance. It was as if the mental image nearly knocked her off her feet. Tears pricked at her eyes, and Natsuki had to swallow and slow down her breathing to make sure they didn't get free.

Shizuru could die. There was a good chance Shizuru was going to die.

Natsuki quickly began pummeling the punching bag. She had to get these thoughts out of her head, away from her, far, far, far away where they couldn't bother her.

Whack, slam, hit!

The punching bag swung at the mercy of Natsuki's fists. Violently it moved, and Natsuki enjoyed every minute of it.

Damn it, she thought. She just wanted Shizuru. That's all she wanted. A kiss, a hug, a conversation… she would be content to just stare into those eyes forever, to get lost in them like she often did. Shizuru was her protector, her love, her best friend. She needed Shizuru, wanted her. That's why this mess was so hard, because Shizuru wasn't hers anymore.

Had she taken Shizuru for granted? Had she depended too much on her teacher? Maybe she had driven Shizuru away by being such a needy child.

A tear slid down Natsuki's cheek. She held in the next ones that threatened to fall. She didn't want to cry again. Crying was so lame and she could vaguely remember promising herself that she would never cry again, not while Akio was gone and Shizuru was with her.

But Shizuru wasn't with her, not really, so technically that promise was now null and void.

Natsuki was unable to fight the tears back as she desperately hit at the punching bag. She cursed herself for crying. This was ridiculous. She hadn't lost Shizuru. Maybe they could work it out. Maybe she could still somehow be friends with Shizuru. Natsuki knew she couldn't have Shizuru out of her life. She needed her in there somewhere. Even if Shizuru were to become her enemy, as she was now, at least she was there.

But what if she wants me out of her life?

The new thought caught Natsuki off guard, and she forgot the correct fist form. Her hand slammed into the punching bag, in the wrong way, and she fell to her knees. Clutching her arm to her chest, Natsuki squeezed her eyes shut.

Shit, shit, shit, OW. She feared that if she verbalized her pain it would make the injury more real. She didn't want to open her eyes, didn't want to look and see that she had stupidly done damage to herself that wouldn't heal before the final match. She would never forgive herself for that, for sabotaging her chances of finally reaching her goal.

Shizuru was the only reason Natsuki understood what love was. She couldn't lose that, such knowledge. She'd be lost again without it. She didn't want to be lost again. She couldn't handle going back to that, living like that, like she was in a large room with not a speck of light to guide her.

"Get up."

Natsuki stopped squeezing her eyes shut and opened them. She saw nothing but the punching bag swinging to a slow stop in front of her. The voice had come from behind her. She looked over her shoulder and up. Standing behind her was Shizuru.

"Shi—"

"Get up, Natsuki." The Lieutenant repeated, her wine red eyes looking merciless in the dimly lit room.

Natsuki, feeling embarrassed, quickly scrambled to her feet, wincing when she forgot her recent injury and had used her hand to push herself off the ground. "Ah…" she groaned, trying to discreetly move her injured wrist behind her back so that Shizuru wouldn't notice it.

Too late. The teacher held her hand out, palm up. "Give me your hand."

Natsuki eyed Shizuru warily. Shizuru looked exhausted, like she hadn't slept in a few days. Green eyes stared down at the older woman's open palm. It was almost like a peace offering, but with nothing to offer. Her hand was empty.

"I'm fine," Natsuki said, refusing to move her injured hand from behind her back.

Shizuru seemed to expect this answer. Her hand stayed where it was. "Why must you always be so stubborn?" She asked, taking a step forward. "You've hurt yourself in your carelessness. Let me take a look at your hand or you will jeopardize your chances in the competition."

Natsuki scowled. "All the better for you, right?"

The lieutenant stared, and finally lowered her hand. "That is what you think? That I want you to lose the competition?" The look Shizuru was giving her made Natsuki feel like the lowest being on Earth, like she had not only bit the hand that fed her, but chopped it right off.

Um… Natsuki had a ton of 'thoughts' about the entire thing. Shizuru sabotaging Natsuki's chances in the competition was only one of the thousands of 'motives' Natsuki had come up with for the entire mess. Then again, it did sound kind of ridiculous. Shizuru wouldn't make out with Alyssa just to get Natsuki out of the competition. Shizuru wouldn't want Natsuki out of the competition for Alyssa's peace of mind. No. Shizuru was right. That made absolutely no sense.

Natsuki wasn't thinking clearly. She was much too angry.

"I guess not," Natsuki mumbled, averting her eyes.

Shizuru exhaled slowly and lifted her hand once more. "Please, let me look at your hand."

Natsuki forced herself to meet Shizuru's eyes and all she saw was concern. Natsuki hesitated but eventually lowered her hurting hand onto Shizuru's. The other woman's hands gingerly touched her own, moving it slowly back and forth and pausing when Natsuki would hiss in pain.

Shizuru turned Natsuki's hand palm up and gently rubbed her student's wrist. "Foolish," was all she whispered. She looked incredibly displeased, sighing every time Natsuki twitched or winced when her hand was moving in the wrong way.

Natsuki had to admit, this is exactly the kind of thing that would have had her pre-relationship-with-Shizuru self blushing and having a heart attack. Natsuki wasn't used to people being so concerned over her wellbeing. Shizuru had been one of the few to truly give a damn about her for the first time in her life. It's why they had gotten close, too close by society's standards.

"How's it look?"

Shizuru met Natsuki's eyes and frowned at her. "Judging from your grunts it certainly looks better than it must feel."

Natsuki nodded. "It'll probably swell soon."

"I'm hoping you didn't sprain it. It won't heal in time for the final match," Shizuru released Natsuki's hand and gave her a pointed look. "Wait here."

"Yes, ma'am," Natsuki muttered, averting her eyes once again when Shizuru gave her another unhappy look before heading towards the duffle bag she had left beside the door.

Shizuru returned with a bandage. "You're going to need to ice this," Shizuru said, slowly wrapping Natsuki's wrist so it was snug. "All night, preferably."

Natsuki watched Shizuru's intense expression as she silently wrapped Natsuki's wrist. Her eyes were focused on the bandage and her fingers were gentle but skilled. Natsuki was glad Shizuru hadn't commented on her crying, if she had heard it at all.

"Why are you here?" Natsuki asked.

Shizuru didn't answer at first. She finished wrapping the wrist, placed a metal pin to keep it in place, and then finally took a step back and met Natsuki's eyes. "I wanted to talk to you."

Natsuki frowned. "Why? I don't really want to talk."

The lieutenant's lips formed a knowing but humorless smile. "For someone who has grown so much you truly can be such a child sometimes." The smile didn't last long, and Shizuru sighed. "I know you, Natsuki. If you do not want to talk, if you are not ready to talk, I will be talking to a brick wall." Shizuru paused and lowered her head a bit. "But I would like to try regardless. This has gone on far too long."

Natsuki knew she'd be a huge hypocrite if she didn't accept the talk. After all, hadn't she complained to Nabatame that Shizuru wasn't trying to make it right by talking to her?

Natsuki frowned, but nodded. Shizuru was right. Nabatame had been right too. Shizuru hadn't been trying to talk to her because she knew Natsuki would need time to cool down, and that anything Shizuru said would go in one ear and out the other. Maybe she was still a child in some ways.

"You are still going to compete in the competition, correct?"

Natsuki gave a curt nod. "I am."

"Then do it for you, Natsuki." Shizuru smiled and couldn't resist brushing a few strands of sable hair from Natsuki's eyes and tucking them behind her ear. Natsuki seemed to freeze at the intimate gesture, just like she had when Shizuru was still just her teacher and did such a thing all the time (solely for the same exact reaction). "You signed up for the competition to prove yourself to Tomoe, you then continued to participate telling yourself you were fighting for me, but now you must win because you want to, because you are the only one that is worth it."

Natsuki stared, eyes wide, at the woman standing before her. She felt so many words and thoughts and couldn't get any of them to make sense. She couldn't have formed a coherent sentence if she tried, so she simply stared.

Shizuru continued. "When you fight I want to know that you are fighting for you, not for me and not for Tomoe." Shizuru smiled. "Your worth will not be based on how you do in this competition. It will be based on what you do every day of your life, Natsuki. It is continuous. Do what you do and do it well. Do you understand?"

Natsuki blinked, gave a small nod, and stared some more. Shizuru was right. This was not about Tomoe. This was not about Shizuru. This was about Natsuki. This was about her doing what she wants to do, and doing it to her best ability. This was about fighting for her own honor, which she already proved she had by making it so far already. She had to finish the fight.

"Thanks," Natsuki finally said. "I know… you're right. The competition is my own goal and mine alone." It does not define me, no matter the outcome. Although winning would be pretty cool, she mentally added.

Shizuru nodded, glad that Natsuki understood. The two stood in relative silence for a few seconds. It surprisingly wasn't awkward. At least Natsuki didn't think so. They were both deep in thought it seemed. Natsuki wondered what the other woman was thinking.

"Why is it, Natsuki," Shizuru looked away, as if ashamed, "that I never notice you are hurting until the damage has been done?"

Natsuki frowned. Was she talking about Akio? "This is different." That hadn't been Shizuru's fault. There was a reason Shizuru couldn't figure Akio out, and that's because he was manipulative, and because Natsuki had been trying her hardest to keep Shizuru uninvolved.

"No I was stupid then, not seeing the signs. I have been selfish this time, ignoring your pains to tend to my own." Shizuru looked away as if ashamed. "I should have seen, Natsuki, especially when I was the one causing you so much pain, but for some reason I am always so blind."

Natsuki felt anger erupt, burning hot in her chest. Shizuru was apologizing for having her own problems to attend to? "Don't say that, Shizuru. You have always been there for me. To guide me, to save me, to help me. You've never asked me for help." Natsuki's brow furrowed as she took notice of Shizuru's eyes. Tired, not as sharp as they usually looked. All of her medals and ribbons that were usually attached to her uniform were not there. In fact, Natsuki realized, they hadn't been there for a few days now. The dark mark on Shizuru's cheek, only visible to those who knew it was there, served as a harsh reminder for what Natsuki had done the other day in her fury.

Natsuki took a deep breath. "What… what do you mean, your own pains?" What's wrong? Natsuki wanted to shout. And why hadn't Shizuru told her if something was wrong? Other than the obvious, of course. Suddenly Natsuki's own problems seemed less important. She'd make sure Shizuru was fine first.

Shizuru offered Natsuki a weak smile. "It does not matter now. But I have hurt you—"

"What pains, Shizuru? You're always so worried about me, what about you? When are you going to open up to me for once?"

Maybe I'm the one that never notices when you're the one in pain, Natsuki thought. Maybe I'm the selfish one, the blind one. Maybe I just always assume you're happy when you're not. I thought I could see through your mask but maybe I can't, but you only show me what you want me to see, so is that really my fault? Or should I stop so easily believing your smiles, simply because I will them to be real?

Natsuki wouldn't admit it, but all she wanted was to see Shizuru smile. A real smile, the one that would stop Natsuki's heart and melt her insides. The one that made Natsuki realize she was in love with her teacher.

Shizuru laughed but it was empty, a sham of her usual laugh. "I am not so perfect, Natsuki, as you now know." Her aura didn't bathe Natsuki in the usual amber glow. Shizuru's aura was barely felt by Natsuki, almost like someone had unplugged the woman's power source and she couldn't even generate enough power to keep up her usual self.

"Shizuru…" Natsuki hated seeing Shizuru like this, regardless of the current situation.

"There is something you must know, before I leave you."

Leave me? Haven't you already left?

"Natsuki I have never been unfaithful to you." Shizuru stated this in the calmest voice she could muster, but she was sincere. "I have made many mistakes these past few days, but that is one thing I will never do." It was made clear by the clarity of her words that it was taking all of Shizuru's nearly non-existent energy to make these words sound as genuine as possible. Did that mean Shizuru was lying, or that she just truly wanted Natsuki to believe her?

Something beeped and Shizuru looked down at her belt where her cell phone was attached. Letting out a sigh, she reached down and retrieved it. Her eyes moved from left to right once as she read the message on the screen and then looked at Natsuki. "I must go."

"But—"

"Kannin na, we will continue this another time." Shizuru hesitated, wanting to let Natsuki know she truly did not want to leave her at the moment either. They did have a lot to go over though that was for sure. "Natsuki," Shizuru whispered the name, "never give up."

Natsuki nodded. This wasn't about them right now, it was about the future, their future. Natsuki had a duty, had made a promise… she would succeed with or without Shizuru, but it was certainly nice to know that Shizuru believed in her when even Natsuki was beginning to doubt herself.

"I will never."

"Take care of your hand." Shizuru added in a serious tone as she began to turn away.

"I will." Natsuki paused and said, "Shizuru… take care of yourself alright?" Natsuki was still angry, still confused, but she never wanted to see Shizuru look so tired, like she had given up on everything. The thought of Shizuru being brought down from her pedestal terrified Natsuki. Then again, there must be a lot of pressure on someone as high up as Shizuru.

Shizuru almost laughed at the concern. It was cute, yes, but far too late. Shizuru's mental health wasn't where it usually was, but she would be fine for now. "You, who is nearest to my heart, have been wounded deeply by my foolishness and I intend to fix things as soon as possible." That sounded like a promise.

The student didn't say anything. Shizuru hadn't explained a damn thing as far as she was concerned, though she had to admit, Shizuru certainly appeared apologetic, even if she hadn't really said anything concerning the situation yet. Anything that confirmed important stuff anyway.

The Kyoto woman's lips formed a weak smile and dull red eyes peered into Natsuki's green. "I promise, just wait for me."

"I'm not one for waiting around." In fact, when it came to Shizuru, Natsuki preferred to follow rather than wait. She felt like she had been waiting forever as it is. For what, she wasn't sure, but she was waiting for it.

Shizuru's phone beeped again.

Shizuru opened her mouth to speak but was cut off by the door to their room being slid open. After quickly distancing herself by a few more feet, Shizuru followed her student's stare at the door, expecting Jin to be there.

Instead it was Rei Nara. Shizuru almost preferred Jin.

The third year's eyes had been homed in on Natsuki the second she entered, but upon noticing the other figure in the room, widened in surprise. "Ah, hello Lieutenant…" Hazel eyes flickered between the teacher and the student. "What's going on? Just left my bag by mistake, had no idea you'd still be here, Natsuki."

Rei sauntered on in.

Natsuki let out a nervous laugh and stole a quick glance at Shizuru, whose face had hardened. She hadn't removed her gaze from the third year, not that Rei noticed. Natsuki was sure Rei would erupt into flame if Shizuru stared any harder.

"Ah, here it is," Rei sang happily, bending down and lifting up her duffle bag. She had accidentally left it behind one of the wooden benches near the back wall. She hoisted it over her shoulder and turned around again, sensing something odd about the two other women in the room. What was with the exhausted, slightly angry looking Lieutenant? And why were Natsuki's eyes red, like she had been crying?

The atmosphere of this room was almost electrically charged.

"Everything alright?" Rei asked the Lieutenant, who seemed to snap out of it and offered an apologetic smile.

"My, that bag looks quite heavy," Shizuru said, fake smile in place. "Everything is quite all right. I was just going over some things about the competition with Na—Private Kuga."

Almost calling Natsuki by her first name only happened these days when Shizuru was feeling possessive. She usually caught herself before calling Natsuki by her first name in public. Usually, when out together, she would repeatedly label Natsuki 'Private Kuga' in her head to help cement the thought.

Rei nodded enthusiastically, but she hadn't missed the way Lieutenant Fujino almost called Natsuki by her first name. Were they close or something? Rei wouldn't be surprised. Natsuki was one of the best students. She probably got a lot of one on one time with Fujino. Maybe Fujino even wanted her to win over Tomoe?

And why, Rei wondered, did Fujino look like she hadn't been sleeping for days? She had looked tired that morning too, at the library, but now she looked even worse.

For a woman who looked like she had risen from the dead, she sure looked damned scary when she glared. Like she could kill you with her sweetly deceiving smile.

Thinking back on it, Fujino seemed so hostile all the time. What was her problem?

There she goes again, glaring at me like I kicked her puppy. Rei frowned and then cleared her throat.

"Well, um," she felt a bit awkward, a bit small, "I guess I'll be going then." She turned to Natsuki, "See you tomorrow, right?"

Natsuki nodded dumbly, not quite hearing what Rei said but hoping that if she agreed the third year would leave quickly.

"Great!" The third year gave Natsuki a seductive wink before walking towards the exit, her hips swaying side to side as she went. She hadn't missed the tightening of Shizuru's jaw, the way the Lieutenant's fingers curled into fists for a second and then released, like a nervous habit.

Rei knew what those subtle physical cues meant, having seen them quite often while gallivanting with other girls' boyfriends.

Was Fujino… jealous?

How very interesting this whole thing was turning out to be.

When Rei was gone, Shizuru relaxed. That girl just gave her a bad vibe, and Shizuru didn't think it was solely because the girl so obviously desired something that belonged to her. Many students stared at Natsuki with admiration, with lust. Natsuki was incredibly attractive, yes. Shizuru knew this. Yet it bothered her when other's watched without shame. Technically she could not blame them. Natsuki wasn't officially taken, was 'fair game' as far as they knew. At least, the ones that knew her well enough to know that she and Nao weren't actually dating.

It was the way Rei did it, however. It was not exactly lust… it was not a look Shizuru recognized. Rather than staring at Natsuki like a piece of meat, Rei stared at Natsuki like she was a million bucks. There was a distinct difference. Was Rei lusting over Natsuki? Or was she lusting over something else that Natsuki happened to have?

Shizuru knew she could not blame the others for staring at Natsuki, but something in her found Rei's staring somewhat… unsettling, more unsettling than when others did it. Then again, no one knew Natsuki had been dating anyone at all. To them Natsuki wasn't officially taken. She was fair game when she was dating Shizuru, because no one knew she was dating Shizuru.

Or they had heard Natsuki was dating Nao, but they were not afraid of Nao enough to stop staring at Natsuki. Surely, Shizuru thought, if they knew Natsuki was hers they wouldn't dare stare so lustfully, like a bunch of dogs. Shizuru was a woman whose things you did not touch. She worked hard forher precious things. No, if they knew to whom Natsuki truly belonged, they would not even try.

Shizuru knew Natsuki was hers. She had known Natsuki only looked at her. So why did Rei, who Natsuki didn't even seem particularly interested in anyway, make Shizuru feel like her skin was covered in tiny spiders? It's the same feeling she had received from Akio, despite his charming smile and seemingly friendly demeanor.

"Why have you… befriended Rei Nara?" Shizuru found herself asking, forgetting she had somewhere to be. She immediately scolded herself afterwards. After all, there were more important things to discuss and she really had to go, Haruka was getting so angry that her last sent message had so many spelling errors it was hard to decipher.

The look Natsuki gave her only proved her correct. "Why not?" The student watched Shizuru with indignant eyes, folding her arms over her chest in a way that said stay away.

The teacher inwardly sighed. She knew what this meant. "Kannin na, I was merely curious."

"Right." Natsuki didn't seem convinced. In fact, she seemed slightly insulted. "You're not my mother," she added, "I can do whatever I want."

"And you have," Shizuru said back, without thinking. She appeared cold then, withdrawn. She felt as if someone had opened a window and the remains of winter's freezing wind had blown right by her, making her rigid. That's how she felt when she remembered hearing about Natsuki and Nao, how they had… been intimate. Yes, Shizuru knew she was at fault, but she also knew she was not the only one.

Natsuki scowled. "I can explain that."

"And I can explain—"

"That's different."

"How is it different?" Shizuru couldn't remember ever wanting to know the answer to a question so badly. Why could Natsuki easily explain away her infidelity, and Shizuru could not?

"Forget it," Natsuki grumbled. In a way she felt as if Shizuru had definitely started to redeem herself, but it wasn't enough, not even close. "I have to train and stuff so… if you don't mind," Natsuki gestured towards the door, and hid her amusement from the stunned teacher.

Straightening, the poised lieutenant cleared her throat. "I have somewhere to be." Shizuru tried to say this all without seeming disappointed, but she knew she failed when Natsuki looked away too quickly, as if she were afraid of giving in.

With that, Shizuru turned to leave. She would try again the next day, and the next day, and the next day. She didn't know how much longer she had, how much longer they had, if they had any time left at all. But she would try again. Shizuru wouldn't give up either.

"Shi-Shizuru…" and the way her name was said, so desperate, so urgent… Shizuru instantly turned around, eyes hopeful.

"Yes, my Natsuki?"

Natsuki inwardly cringed. Don't say that, don't say I'm yours, don't. But she knew it was true, she was Shizuru's whether she wanted to be or not. Was there even a point in fighting it? Even Natsuki's own skin felt foreign. It was Natsuki's skin, but Shizuru was the one under it.

Shizuru seemed to sense her mistake and she quickly corrected herself by merely repeating, "Yes?"

Natsuki took a deep breath and tried to calm her racing heart. Why were her palms so sweaty? She felt like she was talking to someone so above her, so untouchable. But this was Shizuru, her best friend. Why was asking such a simple question suddenly so hard?

"You look tired," Natsuki said instead of 'are you all right?' Of course Shizuru wasn't all right. That would be a stupid question. Besides, the Kyoto woman would think of it in terms of her and Natsuki, when Natsuki really only wanted to know how Shizuru was feeling sans relationships. She looked tired, more tired than Natsuki had ever seen her look. With sleepy eyes and an aura of 'I surrender' radiating off of her.

The bruise on her cheek, now only visible to those who knew it was there, made the teacher look as though she had had a rough night. Natsuki would be lying if she said she wasn't concerned for the woman's health.

A slow, shy smile appeared on full lips at the question. She was an incredibly miserable person and did not wish to smile, but it was involuntary. Natsuki cared. That was a good sign. "I'm afraid I have not been getting a good amount of sleep the last few nights." It was only half the truth. Shizuru ran a hand through her chestnut locks and let out a sigh. "I fear I have a sudden onset of insomnia."

"Oh…that's too bad…" Natsuki was floundering now, though she appeared relatively nonchalant on the surface. She half-wished she had just let Shizuru walk out, without asking about her health. "Do you uh, know why?" I know why, I know. Why do I want her to say it?

"Natsuki," Shizuru said the name as if she were surprised Natsuki had to even ask such a thing. "You are my insomnia." This was not said with hostility, and Shizuru didn't seem to be accusing Natsuki at all. Rather, it was an answer full of sincerity. "I cannot say I mind it much. It gives me a lot of extra time to think about things, to think about you." I could be dreaming of you instead, but being awake in the world where you aren't a figment of my imagination, that is the world I prefer, even if you were not with me, knowing you exist suffices.

Speechless again. She really needed to build up some type of immunity to the things Shizuru said to her. Her softly spoken words, so raw, so loving, drove Natsuki nearly to her knees every time. She surely would have fallen had her body not turned to stone. Only Shizuru could turn a sleeping disorder into something romantic.

Seeing that Natsuki wasn't going to reply, and expecting as much, Shizuru simply gave her student a salute and walked towards the exit. She hesitated just before stepping through the doorway, hoping to hear that voice one more time, but she knew better, knew Natsuki. With another step she was out of the training room and walking down the corridor.

Natsuki watched the empty doorway. Shizuru had forgotten to slide the door closed again.

No, Shizuru never forgot to do anything.

Natsuki, I'm always thinking of you. Don't forget that.

Natsuki knew she was gone by now, but tip-toed to the door anyways, peeking her head out and looking down the empty corridor quickly before slowly sliding the door closed and walking back into the room to continue her training.


Yup. It's Natsuki's fight and hers alone. You probably have even more questions after this chapter. Sigh. I promise you next chapter will begin to answer some if not most of them.

I know I know I know, "I waited nearly a year for THAT?" (Yes, 'nearly', I still have two more days until the 14th! Boo ya.)

No, actually, you waited (nearly) a year for this and the next chapter. Together. But since that didn't work out, you get just this instead! For now, anyway. I will be sending 29 to Andrea very soon. Within a day or two. 29 will be the chapter with all the crap in it. This chapter used to be the 'chill' half of the 'mega-chapter.' Anyway, Andrea already has the next chapter of SoS for those of you waiting for that. I doubt I'll be able to update it on the 15th like I normally do each year, but I'm hoping it will not be too long after.

Once again thanks to my lovely beta, Andrea, who is now living in Australia amongst the kangaroos and giant spiders and massive sharks. She's managed to beta this chapter while in a constant state of mortal peril, so yay!

I'm reposting this from last chapter's author's notes because I will fully and openly make fun of myself: "I have a feeling 28 will be easier/faster, but then again, every time I say that it seems to be bad luck, so I'm going to say "Omigod 28 will take a year" to counter this bad luck.

And because I know by now that there will be at least 12.3 of you that are going to not read the above correctly and think that chapter 28 seriously will take a year to come out, let me ease your minds by making it even more obvious: I'm just effing with you. It won't really take that long. Christ."

Oh how wrong you were, past-ShayP. So so so wrong. I apologize to the 12.3 of you that could smell my bullshit from a mile away. Impressive. Have you the gift of prophecy?

Chapter Song: Gravity by Vienna Teng

So right. Anyway. Hope this wasn't too painful. We'll work on redeeming myself with chapter 30, if you guys are still here, that is. Sound good?

And now, to completely make you forget that this update has taken so long, I am now going to hit on all of you... AT THE SAME TIME.

Ahem. What are you guys wearing ;)?

Feeling distracted yet? Turned on? No? Nothing? Damn it.

(Feel free to leave a review if you would like. Questions, comments, or concerns? PM me, Formspring me, or leave it in a review.)

Thanks guys!

-ShayP.