Yes, Salad Shooter is back. At 20, they are rediscovering their obsession with the Animorphs universe in general and one Esplin-Nine-Four-Double-Six in particular.
Bad news: this chapter is short. (Edit: Not anymore, it's much longer now!)
Good news: there will be more soon.
If I still have any faithful reviewers out there ... if I ever meet any of you in real life I will bake you MANY MANY cookies. REAL cookies.
**This chapter has been redone because I finally found my original file that this whole story is kept in, and apparently I already wrote this chapter. And I like how I wrote it before ... it was funnier ... so I took ideas from both versions and wrote the chapter you see below.
Also, I fixed the thought-speak problem! Not with official thought-speak symbols, but with something called GUILLEMETS. ffnet recognizes them and doesn't delete them! You can look them up on Wikipedia, or just copy-paste them from my story.
Chapter 28
Esplin was highly displeased to discover that a renegade band of Andalites had apparently survived the destruction of the Dome ship and its fighters.
Except that they weren't really Andalites, and he wasn't really all that displeased.
On some level, in a part of his own mind of which he was not consciously aware, he intuitively recognized that the lack of Andalite opponents to fight would render his time on Earth quite dull. So deep down he rejoiced at the news that not all the Andalites on Earth were dead and hoped they would prove worthy adversaries. Perhaps this same subconscious wish prevented him from guessing the true identity of the "Andalite bandits."
Yet he thought he was quite displeased. After the bandits escaped from their less-than-successful Yeerk Pool raid, he even vented his ostensible displeasure by neatly slicing a Taxxon in half. A minor feeding frenzy ensued.
But the bandits would return, and they would keep Esplin's life interesting. Bad enough to be gradually going insane. Worse to have boredom accelerate the process.
When he got a certain other piece of news, however, Esplin was totally and completely displeased.
He was at the Yeerk pool complex. He had set up an office of sorts there, a personal space that he could access without the inconvenience of having to return to his quarters on the Blade ship. It did not contain much, just the single computer and a few torture devices from his collection. It mainly provided a convenient place to do his own private work, and a degree of separation from the frenzy of activity that went on in the Yeerk pool complex.
When his sister was around, however, the office was not much of a sanctuary.
"IN THE JUNGLE, THE MIGHTY JUNGLE, THE LION SLEEPS TONIGHT!"
‹Hekliss — ›
"IN THE JUNGLE, THE QUIET JUNGLE, THE LION SLEEPS TONIGHT!"
‹Hekliss!›
"AH-WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-EEEE-EEEE — "
‹HEKLISS!›
"WHAT!"
Esplin glared at her. ‹WHAT are you doing?›
His sister rolled her eyes. "It's called singing, Esplin. Singing. It's something humans do."
‹Are you getting host-happy?›
"If I was getting host-happy, don't you think I'd be spending more time with other humans … instead of here at the Yeerk pool with my BIG GRUMP of a brother?" She laughed wildly.
Esplin was not amused. ‹What is wrong with you?›
"I'm hyper."
‹Another human thing.›
"Uh-uh. Not just human. You get hyper too. It's just that when YOU get hyper, heads tend to go flying. Ah-WEEEEEEEEEE — "
‹Stop singing! It hurts my head. You know we Andalites have more acute hearing than humans.›
" 'We Andalites.' And you accuse ME of being host-happy. Oh yeah, guess what I found out."
‹What?›
"Something that you would know if you ever paid attention to the Empire announcements."
‹What?›
"You know that one Yeerk you really hate?"
‹The one who got promoted to Visser One? Don't tell me. She's dead. She got demoted for some reason. Zero-space reconfigured unexpectedly while she was on her way to wherever-she-was-going and now she's drifting around some godforsaken nebula.›
"None of the above."
Esplin snorted in annoyance. ‹Well, what IS it?›
Hekliss smirked, but discreetly backed away until she was well out of tail range. "She's coming here."
‹WHAT?!› His tail twitched in reflex. But Hekliss knew that even a reflexive twitch of Esplin's tail could be fatal if you were in the wrong place at the wrong time.
"She's coming here. Not here here, and not to the planet surface, but to the Pool ship. She's gonna be there for a few days."
‹Why?›
"Um, you're not going to like this."
‹I already don't like this. This is MY planet now. And every time her name comes up, it involves her stealing a lot of MY glory.›
"Yeah, well … "
‹Tell me already!›
Hekliss sighed. "She's coming to monitor your progress. Apparently she is not impressed with what she's heard so far, mainly your issues with the Andalite bandits."
‹I do not have issues with the Andalite bandits. I have simply not figured out the best way to destroy them.›
"Yeah, right. Well, issues or no issues, she thinks there's issues, so she's coming."
‹What is this?› Esplin fumed to himself. ‹I thought I was leading the invasion now. It's bad enough that I'm under orders from the Council not to change her original slow-infiltration strategy here. Now she thinks she needs to oversee my work?› He aimed a stalk eye at Hekliss. ‹So when does she get here?›
"Um … tomorrow?"
‹WHAT?! Why did you not tell me sooner?›
"Number one: I only found out by accident two days ago. I overheard a conversation between Iniss-Two-Two-Six and some other guy. Number two: I only visit the pool every three days because I have a human life to live and I need to not blow my cover. Number three: You should have been the first to know! Why are you not keeping up with the Empire announcements?"
Esplin looked guilty. ‹Because I got promoted, I got to lead the Yeerk invasion of Earth. I wasn't expecting any more announcements that are relevant to me, and I CERTAINLY wasn't expecting the Council to go and pull something like this!›
Hekliss rolled her eyes again. "Holy freaking monkeys, Esplin. When did you get so freaking full of yourself? The whole galaxy does not revolve around you, you know. Sometimes it's a good idea to keep up with what's going on with the rest of the Empire. Yeah, you're the first and only Andalite-Controller. Yeah, you're Visser Three. Whoop-de-freakin'-doo. Newsflash: You're not the only Yeerk in the universe."
‹Whoop-de-freakin'-doo?›
"That's the one thing I say that you worry about? Dangit, Esplin, you're the reason I have a hyper twelve-year-old human girl for a host, so don't even start. The point is, Visser One is coming tomorrow, and you should be grateful that I warned you, otherwise you would've looked REALLY stupid tomorrow."
‹If you keep taking advantage of the fact that you're the only one allowed to patronize me and live, you will quickly lose the privilege,› Esplin threatened.
But Hekliss was making sure to keep out of tail range. She knew her brother too well. "Keep your nasty tail to yourself, thank you. You need me. If only because I am the only common-sense influence on you."
‹You. Common sense. Right. I'd bet my Blade ship you are under the influence of the substance humans call caffeine. You would never be this bold otherwise.›
Hekliss laughed. "Guilty as charged. And hey, you haven't killed me yet, so it looks like caffeine is safe enough."
‹The operative word is "yet." You are getting REALLY annoying, and I am extremely unhappy with the news you have brought me. I would say you are pushing your luck.›
"Okay, I'll shut up," Hekliss acquiesced. "So. You going to rant to me about it? Isn't that what you keep me around for? I'm all ears."
‹YES I'm going to rant,› Esplin growled, beginning to pace back and forth. ‹I don't want to see her face. I want to forget she exists. The biggest promotion of my career, and she has to outdo it, and not only that, but she does it by taking the glory for my achievements! She profited off of the species that I discovered! She stole my rightful title as the first human-Controller!› He made a noise of disgust. ‹She's nothing but an overambitious, usurping dapsen.›
‹A little envious, are we, Yeerk?› Alloran said smugly. Since Elfangor's death, he directly addressed Esplin in his thoughts much less frequently, although the Yeerk could still see his host's every thought. Alloran mainly limited himself to tossing out a cutting remark here and there to provoke Esplin, rather than maintaining a constant annoying presence. The rest of the time he withdrew into himself and brooded. His thoughts were very depressing and Esplin had learned to ignore them as much as possible.
"Feel better?" Hekliss asked.
Esplin stopped pacing. ‹You just watch,› he insisted. ‹She doesn't deserve that rank. One day the Council will see her for the worthless free-rider she truly is. I promise you, Edriss 562 will not hold her rank for long. One day I will be Visser One.›
tigergirl: Nope, not heartless. No one's really heartless ... at least, they don't start out that way. In fact, I have a series of events in mind to keep Esplin from ending up that way ... hint hint ... although I will let him go very, very close to the edge. Stay tuned for when the real drama starts.
("Stay tuned." God, I miss Shona, my fellow Esplin-obsessee. Did she drop off of the face of ffnet? that makes me sad ... )
Sinister Shadow: Hope you are still around so I get to freak you out again. Sorry, I probably owe you like a million new chapters by now. Sorry I did not update soon like you asked. Life got in the way ... isn't it annoying how that happens? Anyway. I am so sad that you stopped writing. Seriously. I hope it heartens you that I have not entirely done the same.
Yes, I just used a word like "heartens" outside of a story ... anyway. This is for you. Visser Freaking One Is Coming. The next chapter ... their first encounter ... is for you too.
Mel: Haaa nice. Wait, wouldn't demorphing have cured the indigestion? Just saying. (Because of course I must be a technically correct Animorphs geek.) Of course, indigestion even for a few seconds would be uncomfortable ...
And I'm gone two years and they STILL HAVEN'T FIXED THE DARN THOUGHT-SPEAK PROBLEM. Come on ffnet. Give us Animorphs writers a break.
Anyway, PLEASE REVIEW! I put up my first chapter in two years and no one's reviewed yet :(
Reviewers will receive my eternal gratitude. In addition to the aforementioned cookies.
~Salad Shooter `Ô›
