Return to Love

Chapter 28

John came back to consciousness on his bed.

Clara was looking at him with tears in her eyes.

He sat up, the room tilted.

"Careful!"said Rory grabbing for him.

"You don't want to fall out of bed..John"

He laid him back against the pillows.

"How did I get here?" John said confused.

"You passed out in the lounge,after we got back" Rory said.

"Amy and me managed to get you up to bed " Rory continued.

"Where's Pond?"

Rory looked at Clara,knowing John was not going to like what he was going to say next.

"She's downstairs,ringing the Doctor"

"WHAT! I said NO Doctors!" John started to sit up again.

Rory held him down.

"STOP this! John enough is enough! you're upsetting Clara"

Clara held his hand.

"Please,John,see the Doctor,if not for me for the baby"

The tears were pouring down her cheeks!" she pleaded with him.

John could not stand to see her cry,wiping some of the tears away with his fingers said,

"Okay,okay,you win...!"

Amy came back into the room.

"Back with us then?...

...Dr David is coming see you,Raggedy Man, you know him"

John gave her a look.

"What is he still playing up,even after face planting in my living room? Clara shall we make the coffee while Rory helps him into his P.Js .Think we need it after lugging his heavy body up all those stairs!"

"Oi!" John returned.

Rory smiled at Clara.

"Go, you can come back to sit with him when he's in bed"

"Kay" she replied following Amy out the room.

Turning back to John,he said.

"John will you stop sulking, let me help you get undressed" Rory said.

"I'm not!" he sat up on the bed,as Rory helped him into his pyjamas.

"Doing this under protest"

Rory raised an eyebrow at that.

When he was back in bed. He to him.

"Look John,this as gone far enough...you want to marry Clara?"

"Course I do!"John said.

"Well,the way your carrying on,you're going to kill yourself first!"

"Now hang on a minute,Rory!"...he started to say...

Rory rounded on him...

"Shut up,John,...I'm talking, YOU,are going to listen for once. Do as your told!"

John opened,then closed his mouth, didn't say anymore.

Rory went on.

"When the Doctor comes we are going to tell him everything that as gone on...right? If he gives,you pills like bullets,you are going to take them, no arguments.I MEAN IT! Didn't hear what you said,John "

"Yes",John said quietly, sighing.

"I'll do as,I'm told"...

"Good." Rory said.

"I'll get Clara,to come and sit with you" He patted his hand.

" Go to sleep,you look knackered"

Walking on to the landing, shuting the door.

Amy was,stood just outside.

She touched his,face.

"Well done you! I was going to come back in when I heard you read him the riot act. Thats the first time I've ever known him do as he's told!"

She opened the door.

John was fast asleep.

Amy smiled kissing Rory, shut it again.

"I love you stupid face...Lets go and tell Clara,what you did!"

Clara was sat at the kitchen table,with a cup of tea in her hand. She looked up as the couple came in.

"How is he,Rory?"

"He's asleep,for now"

Clara got up to go upstairs to see him.

"Finish your tea,Clara,he's not going anywhere,we will hear him if he calls out"

Rory said.

Amy made them all a sandwich,

"When the Doctor comes,we need to tell him how he's been,the panic attacks,everything,all that has happened." She said to them both.

"Finding out about Jack, the drugs as well as Sue set this off"

Rory said. He had told them what had happened at the police station.

"Clara,I know you have only known him a few weeks you have noticed things as well?"

Yes "she replied.

"He also blames himself for his parents death"

Pausing said.

"He seems to cope,then when things go wrong seems to think he deserves nothing nice to happen. Like meeting me,Daisy. Even the baby"

She put her hand on her stomach...

"I had a big fight with him before we came here over this" She said tearful.

Looking at them both.

"He is wonderful though,taking on my problems,helping me make it up with my Dad."

"Is that who Daisy is,staying with?"Amy asked.

"Yes, he disown me before she was born, John helped us make it up now,he is getting to know his,Granddaughter"

Smiling at the couple.

"I will also have to tell you about the day Daisy came out of school because she was being bullied...

...The day she met John"

"John helped with that?" Rory said.

" Yes"

Clara,smiled at that.

"I'll tell you another time. I want to go up and sit with him"

Rory smiled at her,as she got up.

"Your sure you have only known each other two weeks? So much seems to have happened to you both"

Pausing near the door,Clara said.

"John can make good things happen" sighing "I just wish he believed in himself. I'll go and see how he is?"

She went out the door.

"Well,"Amy said," if anyone can sort him out,Clara can!"

Upstairs John was still asleep. Clara sat, pushed his fringe gently away from his eyes.

Thinking as before,he looked younger when he was sleeping.

He was started to mutter to himself.

"Mummy,please don't want to go !" He seemed to be dreaming.

"Sush,go back to sleep" Clara stroked his face...trying to calm him as she would Daisy.

"Its okay,baby" he seemed to settle,then suddenly his eyes shot open, he sat up in the bed crying out.

"NO NO..!"

He started Screaming..."PLEASE...ARRH..!"

"LEAVE ME ALONE...!"

Clara climbed on the bed, trying to put her arms round him.

"John,love,come on,it's Clara! Please."

He was fighting with her.

Rory hurried in then with Amy. Taking in the situation,tried to help Clara with him. Hurried over to the couple on the bed.

"John,come on mate!"

Looking at Clara and thinking about the baby, said.

"John's in a nightmare,watch out he doesn't hurt you. Clara,be careful love!"

John pushed her away."No...go...way! Not naughty..!"

"Clara!"

Amy cried as she fell to the floor.

Rory,grabbed John by the shoulders.

"Stop it John,enough is enough!"

He shook him gently...the tears were coming thick, fast now,he was getting worried about him.

"I'm sorry,I'm sorry,!" He was crying harder.

"Want my Mummy" then "Daddy!" Sounding so lost.

Not knowing what else to do,Rory climbed on to the bed with him, rocking him,stroking his head.

"Its alright...okay...hush now John !"

Amy picked up Clara from the floor.

" Its alright, I'm not hurt"she was looking across at John.

He had not really woken as Rory rocked him seemed to be settling back into sleep.

" Rory?" Amy said.

He put his finger to his lip.

Making sure John had settled back down before climbing off the bed. They walked over too the window. Rory rested his head on the pane of glass,then looked up at both women.

"Nightmare" he said "he wasn't here,it was though he was a frightened three year old again"

Looking over at John,then back to the girls.

"He was just like that when he came to live with us,my Dad use to have to go into him at night...he would cry out in his sleep. God...I had forgotten! until now"

...Amy said.

"Rory,it was thirty years ago...perhaps this is for the best? Maybe we are,getting him the help he needs now if the Doctor puts him on some medication? It should help him right?"

He looked back across at John who was now calm again.

"He needs something,we can't go on like this, we've got the funeral to get through,I can sort out the arrangements, knowing John he will want to go,even if he hated her,she was his wife...he looked over at Clara.

"Are you alright? Didn't hurt you did he?"

"No,only my dignity,"she said rubbing her behind.

Rory said.

"We should wake him,see how he is,the Doctor will be here soon.

When he comes , I'll have a word with him before I bring him up too see John."

He walked over to the bed,touched John on the shoulder.

" John mate! time to wake-up"

"Hmmm Clara!?" John moaned.

"Hardly" Rory smiled. " But she's here"

"Raggedy Man,put my husband down!"Amy joked.

"Come on John wake-up,open your eyes for me" Rory said.

"...Too early,having a lie in,go away..."He sounded normal,just awkward"

"Let me try"Clara said.

"John how about a cuddle?" His eyes,shot open.

Seeing Rory and Amy stood with her...

"What,not doing it with an audience,maybe later tonight"

He shut his eyes again. Clara giggled.

"John Smith,stop it!...open your eyes."

He did and smiled at her yawning

"Hello! sweetheart,what time is it,?"

"6 o clock" Amy said."we're waiting for Dr David,he should be here to see you soon.

John pulled a face,

"I thought you had forgotten about that."

"John,!"

said Rory,

"Behave yourself! what I said to you before still stands...which is",he prompted...

"I do as am told, take the pills when I'm given them"

He sighed. "You're bossy you are Rory Williams"

"Comes of being a solicitor"

He walked to the door,

"Amy and me will wait downstairs for the the Doctor,"

" I'll bring you some soup and bread up Raggedy Man,you need to eat"

Amy said to him.

"Don't want anything...I'm not hungry,"

"John,you have had one sandwich,one piece of toast since we got here.

You must try,for me please?"Clara said.

"Oh alright...!" he sounded obstinate.

Amy said,"I've got tomato your favourite.I'll go,heat it up.

She went downstairs with Rory.

Getting the soup out of the cupboard she opened it to put in the pan.

"Well,he seemed okay "she said,"Do you think he remembers any of it" she said as she stirred the soup on the stove.

"Shouldn't think so"

Rory said as he buttered some bread and put it on a plate.

"He never did before,then he was only three Amy"

"He may still have to speak to someone about what happened .The Doctor will put him on medication, it looks as though he has been bottling things up for a long time...

...This thing with Sue, the drugs brought it to a head. I think"

Putting the soup and bread on a tray,with a glass of Orange juice,Amy took it upstairs putting it on John's lap.

"There you go,Raggedy Man" John pulled a face.

"Don't really want anything,not hungry"

He picked up the spoon, pushed it round the bowl.

"Don't play with it,eat it!"

Amy took the spoon from him.

All of a sudden John threw,the tray away from him.

"NO NO! Don't want it...go ...way!"

He sounded like a petulant child!

Amy looked startled at the change in him.

"John! " Clara said

"What's the matter?"

She reached over to him,he cowered away from her,falling out of the bed then crawled into the corner of the room.

He started hugging, rocking.

"No,No,No,...!"

Amy,said in panic

" I'll get Rory,"

She dashed out of the room.

"Rory" she yelled from the top of the stairs.

"Get up here now!"

Rory appeared in the hall.

"What's the matter"?

"It's,John,he seemed to have gone like he was before"

Seeing the panic in her face,taking the stairs two at a time.

When he got into the bedroom John was in the corner curled up away from Clara.

"John please,sweetheart"

she was,pleading with him.

John was saying,

" Not naughty, Don't smack me! ...No,no,no!" Tears were pouring down his face.

Rory got down next to John

"Johnnie,come on you're not in trouble,no one is going to smack you"

John looked at him in a daze.

"Daddy!?"

He didn't seem to know it was Rory...

He was crying, terrified.

"Yes,it is ...come on,let's get you to bed...

Mummy is tired too"

He looked at Clara.

"Turn the bed down Mummy", luckily none of the soup had gone on the sheets.

Amy was cleaning up near the door, watching how Rory was coping with John.

Clara turned down the bed. Watching as Rory helped John get up from the floor leading him to the bed.

"That's a good boy Johnnie " he laid him down in the bed.

"Mummy will stay with you until you go to sleep...right Mummy?" Clara nodded at Rory, taking over,stroking his head saying,

" Go to sleep,sweetheart,it's alright now"

John was still crying slightly.

"Don't cry,hush now...!" His breathing evened out,he was asleep.

Rory looked at Clara,letting out the breath he was holding.

"Well Done!"

She looked at him..."what's going on Rory why is he like this?"How come he thought you were his,Dad...why Johnnie?"

Rory pushed his hand through his hair looked from Amy to Clara.

"I think he is,going back to his, childhood because of this trauma he has had with Sue today...

...My Dad called him Johnnie,he probably thought I was him...

...Anything could set him off,did you say or do anything?"

Amy said.

" It could have been my fault,I told him off for not eating the soup, playing with it..Sorry..."

He closed his eyes.

"Wish that bloody Doctor would get here.I think we need to get him on the anti depression tablets,they could help,you might still get 'John or Johnnie'

...We won't know until he's on them a few days...

...He will still maybe have to speak to some one about his childhood"

"Do you mean a psychiatrist?"Clara asked.

"Yes,would that bother you,Clara?"

"No!l love him too,much for that,I knew he had problems from day one,I will stand by him course I will"

Downstairs the doorbell rang.

"That must be the Doctor," he said,"I'll go and let him in explain what's,happened before I bring him up"

Down the stairs,Rory answered the door.

On the step stood a middle aged man with a Doctor's bag.

"Doctor David..."He started to say when he realised who it was.

"Rory Williams,I thought I recognised the address,not the name."John Smith?"

"He is one of your patients he lives at, he gave the address of John's flat.

My friend,he's staying with us,when he was taken ill."

"That John Smith I haven't seen him much over this year,he looked at his notes,we have a report, the death of ...Susan Smith,his wife?"

"Yes ,it is come in Doctor. He should have realised that the hospital would inform the surgery about Sue as it must have been hers too.

Rory took him into the lounge,Doctor David looked round puzzled.

"He's not here?"

"I will take you up to see him in a moment,we have had a few ...problems with him" Rory said.

He started to tell him what had happened to John in the last few hours...

Upstairs, Amy sat with Clara waiting for Rory to bring the Doctor up to see John.

"I'm sorry about the carpet" Clara said looking at the stain near the door.

"Don't worry about that,it will shampoo..bet he won't even remember throwing it...the tray."

There was a soft moan,from the bed.

"John!"Clara rushed over to the bed."sweetie"

"Clara,my head,I've got a splitting headache."

She looked at Amy,thinking it not surprising with all the emotions that he must have been through in the last few hours said,

"The Doctor's here now,he will give you something for it"

Rory came into the room then followed by Doctor David.

" You know Amy..."This is Clara,John's fiancee,who I was telling you about."

"Hello",Clara said to him.

The Doctor walked over to the bed.

Rory helped John sit up.

"Hello John,I understand you have had a bad time in the last few days?"

John nodded at him.

He continued,"I'm going to give you some mild anti depression tablets I want you to take one now, one tonight."

John pulled his face at that,"Don't like pills" he said.

"I know,they will make you feel better, get you through the next few days"

The Doctor was saying.

"Now I'm also going to get you a appointment at the hospital to speak to a Doctor there."

"I'm not a "nut job" John replied.

"I know I've got problems,I can talk to Clara" Taking her hand in his.

"You can talk to us both,you want to get better don't you, John?"

she put his hand on her stomach."For the baby?"

"For the baby..."He smiled at that,his head feeling slightly better now.

The Doctor handed the prescription to Rory.

"Make sure he takes the pills"

Rory nodded.

"Any problems ring the surgery,taking them should help with the trauma.I will get that appointment for him as soon as I can, he should talk to someone,from what you told me"

Turning back to John.

"Well goodbye John,hope to see you well,soon. I won't see you again,maybe because you've moved to Tadchester,I believe? We'll transfer your notes on to there.

Bye Clara, you look after him?"

"I will,"she smiled at him"Thank you!"

Rory said,

"See you out,Doctor...

...Going to get this Amy"

walking down the stairs,he said to Rory,

"That is an unusual young woman,she is just what he needs I think?"

"Oh,yes," smiled Rory.

"Clara can get him to do things he doesn't want.

Thank you Doctor."

As he left.

Rory went to the chemists to get the prescription for John,he thought.

'Yes,Clara was the best thing that happened for John'...They just had to get him through the next few,days, get Sue's funeral over with.

When he got back John was,Sat up eating a sandwich.

Rory went up to him with a glass of water in one hand a pill in the other.

"Good", he said "you can have this now you have had something to eat"

John pulled a face, took the pill, swallowed it.

He put his tongue out at Rory.

"See,it's gone,bossy boots"

Rory grinned back at him."Okay,I believe you" he held his hands up in surrender.

He went to go back downstairs.

John said."Rory..."

Rory turned back round from the door,"Yes?"...

"Thank you for looking after me...now and when we were little..."

He walked back up to the bed gave John a hug...

"You are,quite welcome,after all we are family,you,me and Amy...

...We have to get you well so you can marry Clara and add her,Daisy,the baby to the mix...

...Now get some sleep"

"What about ,the funeral? when will we sort that out?"

"Tomorrow..we will do it tomorrow."

Rory pulled his pillows down.

"Get some sleep John "

He yawned, closing his eyes.

"Hmm... night,Rory..."

Rory went downstairs,Amy was preparing the supper,Clara,was sat on the sofa in the lounge half asleep.

"How is he,?"Amy turned round from the stove,

"Asleep I hope?"

said Rory "I'm knackered !"

looking over at Amy.

"But, I'd do it all again."

Amy put her arms round him.

"Come here you"she kissed him.

"Do you think he will have a nightmare tonight?"

"He could do, will cross that bridge if we have too"

He held Amy too him,

"We will have to be there,for Clara,if he does"

He watched her from the doorway.

"She looks exhausted!"

"She is"

Returned Amy,

"I will try get her to go to bed when we have eaten,I'll dish up if you tell her suppers ready..."

Rory walked into the lounge, touching Clara on the arm...

"Hey...You okay?"

She jumped slightly.

"Sorry" he said " didn't mean to make you jump" noticing there were tracks of tears on her face.

" Clara,he will be fine,might take a few days,he will get there."

"Sorry,Rory,just being silly"she rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand.

He pulled out a hankie from his pocket,saying.

"Here,it's,clean"

Clara dissolved into fresh tears then throw,herself in to his arms...Amy came in to put the supper on the table.

"Rory,What did you do!"

He shook his head at her.

"Nothing. I gave her my hankie"

"Sorry,Amy,I didn't mean to cry all over your husband"

Moving away from Rory,then blowing her nose.

"When he did...reminded me of something John said...did before we came here"

She wiped her eyes.

"Sorry Rory"

"Clara,you don't have too keep apogising, for being you,come on, have something to eat"

They went and sat at the table.

"Its chicken and salad" said Amy.

"Very nice,"Clara replied "I'm starving.

She made short work of the meal which pleased Amy,as she didn't think she would get Clara to eat anything worried as,she was,about John.

Rory went to make coffee and a tea for Clara,which she seemed to be drinking lots of since she got pregnant.

"Amy,"she said too her,

"Yes"

"Why do you call John,Raggedy Man?" she continued.

Amy grinned at that..." Now that's a story..."

Continuing.

"...it's because when he came back to Leadworth,at first he wouldn't get washed,or dressed wouldn't talk to anyone,but Rory and me...

...He looked really scruffy...like no one cared for him..."

Amy looked wishful,remembering back to that time.

"...The name, sorted of stuck!"

Clara said,"His Aunt told me how difficult he was just after his parents were killed...

...She couldn't do anything with him."

Rory came back in then with the drinks, hearing the end of their conversation.

"My Dad was very good with him,we had lost my Mum the year before, he thought it would be good for me too have the company as well"

"Oh,Rory,I didn't realise you never said anything"

Said Clara,upset for him.

He shrugged his,shoulders."Suppose I didn't hurt as much as John did,then we were only three. I forgot...John seems to have forgotten even more which is why it seems,to be coming out now."

Clara smothered a yawn.

"Sorry" she at them both.

"You should get some rest" Rory said.

"Hopefully he might sleep through with out a nightmare"

He kissed Clara on the forehead as he got up to help Amy clear the table.

"Sleep well..shout us if you need anything!"

"Okay,night Amy"

"Night"

Clara thought as she went into the bedroom. John was fast asleep on his side,they might all get some sleep.

It was wishful thinking,and not to be...

A/N

John is still very traumatised,will they get him through this?

Please read and review.

Thanks for reading.

Next chapter SOON.