I awoke with a start, climbing out of my bed with the excitement that kids reserve for their birthdays. Today was the 14th. It was Valentine's Day, and Ayako and I were meeting for our date. While I didn't have an exact plan, I had enough options ready to keep her entertained. If I disappointed her, I'd probably never hear the end of it.
As I dressed, I looked over my injuries from the day before. The cuts that had made a maze of my arms were nearly impossible to see. They had rapidly healed over the course of the day, and now all that remained was pink scar tissue. I stretched my limbs, checking for soreness. It was like I had never been hurt. Without knowing the cause of the regeneration, I could only accept my good fortune. It probably wouldn't last, so I still couldn't risk any more injuries.
The house was empty. Without Tohsaka or Saber, it seemed as cold and still as a mausoleum. Sakura hadn't come by in almost a week, and Fuji-nee was probably still working with the school as it got ready to start up again. I felt a keen sense of solitude and found myself hoping that Fuji-nee would burst through the front door like she always did. But no matter how many times I glanced back towards the hallway, silence was all that greeted me.
"Breakfast, breakfast," I said to myself, mostly to impart a bit of life to an empty living room. I opened the refrigerator, realizing too late that I still hadn't bought any groceries. I only had a few ingredients, namely eggs. At least that made it easy to decide on a meal. As I put a pan on the stove, I heard footsteps in the hall behind me. Before I could even think to react, a tall figure stepped into the living room and sat down at the table.
"Easy," said Archer," I'm not here to fight."
I let out the breath that I had been holding. "You nearly gave me a heart attack!" I growled, before turning back to my work. I cracked three eggs and dropped them onto the pan.
"Apologies," said Archer, obviously not meaning it. He leaned back on his hands and crossed his legs under the table.
"Aren't you supposed to be at Tohsaka's house?" I asked. "She'll be mad if you snuck away."
"I only plan to be here for a short while," he said. "I just want to talk for a bit."
I gave him a wary look. Archer and I hadn't spoken much during this war. For him to come to me was odd, almost out of character. I didn't think he was dangerous though, so as I put on the water for tea, I got an extra cup for him.
"Thank you," said Archer as I sat down across from him. He took the cup from my outstretched hand and sipped the tea slowly. "It's good to be able to drink tea again. Japanese tea is my favorite, and as a Guardian, I do not get many chances to indulge in such comforts."
"Archer, why did you come here?" I asked. I wanted to hear it straight from him. If I questioned him directly, I had a feeling he'd be more forthcoming than usual. Still, there was the chance that he'd just blow off my attempts.
"Like I said, to talk." I should have expected that response. "There's not much time left, so I thought now would be best."
He was right. With the Holy Grail War set to end in the next few days, if he had any concerns, now would be the time to address them. I still didn't know why he had anything to say to me in particular. Since he came all this way, I decided to hear him out. Archer had been very helpful lately, so I guess I owed it to him.
"Alright, what do you want to talk about?" I said.
"You mostly," Archer said with a shrug. "I've watched your projections. They are getting better and better."
"I still don't understand it," I said. "Kiritsugu always told me to focus on strengthening magic."
"Strengthening is good," said Archer with a nod. "But projection will allow you to use any weapon for any situation. Your power is similar to mine. I'm what you would call a Blacksmith Hero. My weapons are projected from my infinite forge."
"And mine?"
"Yours are pulled from your mind's eye, if you will," he said. "You see, and recreate. It's a rare power, but not unknown. Functionally, our powers are the same."
"How do you know all this?" I asked. There's no way he just has a passing knowledge of magic.
"Come now, you should be able to read stats and skills," he said. "Though I am an Archer as a Servant, I was a magus during my life. My knowledge of magecraft isn't as extensive as Caster's, but it is more than enough to understand certain modern variations."
"I guess that makes sense. At least, I'm not going to argue with you."
"You shouldn't," he said with a sly smile. It was only a little less annoying this time. "In any case, the more you project, the easier it will get. Push yourself too hard, and well, let's just say I broke my arm the first time I projected something."
I nodded, reminded of my fight with Rider. I probably broke something then as well. If it wasn't for my weird healing, I would have been out of action for a long time.
"There's one other thing I'd like to talk about," said Archer. "It's not polite to speak about personal things so suddenly, but you'll have to accept it."
"It's not like you ever cared about offending me before," I said.
"I suppose you're right." He sighed, then looked up at me sharply and got right into it. "That girl that you saved at the school, do you love her?"
I nearly spat my tea across the table. "W-what are you talking about?" I shouted, staring at Archer like he had grown a second head.
Seeing my response, Archer laughed to himself. "I suppose I was young once," he said. "In some ways, it's good to be so naïve."
I still couldn't believe what he had asked me. My ears were burning at just the thought of it. Sure, I thought Ayako was cute, and we were going on a date today, but that didn't mean that I loved her or that I had any special feelings for her. Wait, did going on a date with someone mean that you have feelings for them? Can you go on a date without feelings? Somehow, that didn't seem right either. Sure, there was a large just from feelings to love, but wasn't there a larger jump from no feelings to feelings? Maybe Archer was onto something and I didn't even realize it. I'd have to-
"Emiya Shirou," said Archer sternly, interrupting my stream of thoughts. "Calm down. It was a joke, mostly."
I took a deep breath. "Why would you even ask something like that?"
"Because I'm wondering," said Archer. "Rin said that you're going out with her."
"We have a date later today, but does that mean we're going out, in the strict sense of the term?"
"I suspect that most would take it that way."
"I see." My reply was succinct, and I began thinking over the implications. Certainly Tohsaka would have a lot to say about it. I found it odd that she hadn't made fun of me yet. Maybe she was waiting for afterwards to tease me. Ayako was her friend, so she probably would be even harder on me.
"Let me continue," said Archer. After I hummed my assent, he proceeded, "What I mean to ask is, do you care about that girl?"
"Of course I do," I said. It was true. I wasn't sure if I loved her. In fact, I probably didn't right now. She was definitely important to me though. I couldn't deny that.
"Then you realize that choices that are ahead of you," said Archer. "Do you think you can be an adequate partner, and still live the life you want to live?"
"What are you talking about?" Archer had no way of knowing my wish. As far as I was aware, it was something that only I knew.
"You have a look about you," he said. "like everything in this world is precious to you. I saw what you did for the Einzbern girl. A normal person wouldn't go out of their way to save a former enemy like that."
"I want to protect people," I said. "Everyone, if I can."
"Even those that commit evil?" asked Archer.
"If they redeem themselves, yes." Maybe it was foolish, but I believe that anyone can be saved. Even the vilest of men can have a change of heart.
"If such a goal was realistic, it would be admirable," said Archer sternly. "The fact of the matter is that not everyone can be saved. It is not a thing that can be achieved in this world. But it is not impossible to make people, that girl, happy. Isn't that better than nothing?"
I was taken aback. I didn't expect to hear an answer like that from him. "I want to do my best for everyone," I said after gathering my thoughts.
"Then should you not start with those closest to you?" Archer stood and walked over to the wall, like he was about to leave through a door that didn't exist. "Think about that, Emiya Shirou, and reflect on whose happiness matters most."
Then he vanished, dissolving into the air as he entered spirit form. Once more, Kiritsugu's house seemed dead. Now that I was alone again, I quickly cleaned up the dinner and prepared to depart. Archer's words nagged at me, fastening themselves into the back of my brain. No matter what I did, I couldn't shake loose the logic in his words. It was the first coherent challenge to my dream that I had ever heard. Was he right? Should I really give up my ideal to focus on my friends and family? The answer had to be "no".
How could I give up so easily? While I did care about my friends, the promise I had made to myself and my dad was far more important to me. How could I give up on something that I had prepared my entire life for? It had to be done. If anything, my friends would support me. I would do everything I could for them, but I had to help others to. I couldn't let catastrophes like the Fuyuki fire happen again.
Ayako's house was in Miyama City, so it wasn't a long walk from my house. In only a few minutes, I was at her front gate. Sandwiched between two similar houses, Ayako's was more typical of a Japanese family than the sprawling mansion that I lived in. Seeing its small porch and western style windows gave it a sense of warmth and family that my house lacked.
I took a deep breath, then unlatched the gate and walked up to the front door. While I didn't see a light in the window, she had to still be home. Swallowing my nervousness, I knocked firmly on the front door. I waited awkwardly. My eyes drifted to the right as I tried to look casual. Then I heard the lock open, and my back went rigid. The door opened inwards, revealing Ayako in the entryway.
"Hey Shirou, you're early," she said.
"Yeah," I said sheepishly, "I didn't wanna be late."
Those words actually came out of my mouth. Did I have to talk like an idiot just because we were going on a date? I silently berated myself, but Ayako just smiled.
"Come in and sit down! I'm nearly ready to go."
I stepped over the threshold, but before I could get more than a few meters into the house, Ayako turned and leaned close to me.
"By the way," she said, "You don't have to worry about meeting my parents. They'll be away on business until late this evening. No need to feel awkward or anything."
"Ah, I guess that's a relief," I said, trying to avoid worrying about the other set of problems that entailed. How had Ayako not realized the real issue with the two of us being alone? After I took off my shoes, Ayako led me to her living room before running off to her room to finish getting ready.
Her house was normal, something that was rapidly becoming a description of Ayako's influence on my life. With all the magic and fighting, it was refreshing to get away and experience an ordinary day. Spending time with the girl I liked was just a bonus.
Ayako returned to the living room in a rush, sliding to a stop on the smooth wood floor. She looked down at me with her hands on her hips. "How do I look?" she asked.
Ayako raised her head in pride. She didn't look much different from usual, though I could easily see where her preparations had been focused. Her jean shorts and grey crop top were normal enough for her, but her hair was held back with a black headband. The faintest traces of makeup were also evident, highlighting her natural beauty.
"Incredible," I said, standing up to join her. Her outfit not only accentuated her athletic build, but also showed off some curves that I didn't know she had. Before I knew it, I was staring at her, and forced myself to look away.
"Good," she said. "It may not look like it, but it took me awhile to come up with this."
She hummed quietly to herself as we left the house. After locking up behind her she turned to me and asked, "So where to?"
Way to put me on the spot, Ayako. "Uh, I made a few plans, but if you don't like them we can do something else. I tried to come up with stuff that we'd both enjo-"
She cut me off mid-sentence, grabbing my hand and forcefully dragging me along with her. "Whatever! Let's just go to Shinto and see what we can find!"
I lurched forwards as she pulled me off balance, but recovered quick enough to avoid falling. This would be fine too. If she wanted to take the lead and choose places to go, I was totally ok with that. We'd have a great time no matter what.
Immediately upon arriving in Shinto, Ayako's eyes were glinting with anticipation. "Man, I haven't been here in forever!" she sighed, looking around at all the things we could do.
"Well, we can go wherever you like," I said. She looked at me like an eager child, beaming at me as if to ask "really?"
"To the arcade then! It's been so long I hardly remember what its like," she said. She ran ahead of me only to turn back to admonish me for going too slow. I smiled, realizing that this was how the whole day was going to be. I caught up to her, laughing at her impatience. I guess being dragged around by the girl you liked wasn't so bad.
The arcade was a ton of fun. I've never been big on video games, but I went a few times with Shinji when we were younger. Ayako professed to not play often either, but she was a natural. No matter what we played together, she wiped the floor with me. Fighting games were the worst. I was bad in real life, but that was nothing compared to my inability to combo.
"Yeah! Take that!" laughed Ayako, enjoying her imminent victory. Her character pummeled mine no matter how many buttons I mashed. As she set up her last combo for the round, I considered giving up entirely as the hit counter went higher and higher. With a depressing cry, my character was annihilated by Ayako's super move.
"How can you even do that?" I asked, looking around the arcade cabinet at Ayako on the other side. She stuck her tongue out at me and winked.
"You have to work on those quarter circles, Shirou," she said, giggling at my confused expression.
"I don't understand any of that," I said, rubbing the back of my head. Ayako stood up and walked behind me, taking my hands.
"Here, it's not so hard." She ran my hands through a few of the motions. Still, even after understanding the concepts, I couldn't reproduce it on my own. After a few more attempts, I backed away, exasperated.
"This is rough," I said. My hands were numb after trying so many times.
Ayako nudged me in the side and grinned slyly. "This is what you get for being so good at archery. I have to be better than you at something." She changed tone and grabbed my arm. "Come on, there's a lot more that we have to do!"
"I'll let you lead the way," I said. We'd been playing so hard that we had forgotten about the time. Before we knew it, it had already gotten to be one in the afternoon. Still, the day was only just getting started.
She took my arm again and pulled me along with her. Together we walked deeper into Shinto. I didn't have a planned end time for our date, but I found myself hoping that it would last until the evening. Video games weren't exactly my thing, but I could tell that Ayako was having a great time. If she was enjoying herself, then I would definitely have fun too.
Interlude In
Archer returned to Rin's house without being noticed. His Master's leash was looser as of late, and he was free to move as he wished. While normally he haunted the roof, there was little threat of attack in broad daylight.
Making his way to the kitchen, he found their new houseguest sitting at the dining room table. Little Ilya sat on one of Rin's fancy high-backed chairs, her feet dangling from the seat. Swaying her legs back and forth, she looked like she was sitting on the chair of a giant.
The girl looked up at Archer as he sat down across from her. With a solemn face, he glanced down at the young girl, wondering what he could say. He had never planned on being alone together, much less speaking to her.
He settled for, "Would you like something?"
When she nodded, he went to Rin's kitchen cabinets to make tea for her. It had become second nature for him, a mindless action devoid of any enjoyment. A few minutes later, he placed the black tea down in front of Ilya's spot, only to pull it back almost out of reflex.
The white haired girl's confused look was answered with a clipped comment, mumbled under his breath. "I forgot, you prefer it sweet, don't you?"
Archer returned to the kitchen with the cup and mixed the tea with sugar and cream. When he sat down, Ilya's face had changed. Her wide-eyed look was gone. Now her eyes were solemn, avoiding contact with Archer's gaze.
She sipped her tea quietly and squirmed in her seat, obviously uncomfortable. After a few minutes of awkward silence, she placed the cup down before her and looked Archer in the eye. Noticing the newfound will in her eyes, Archer's stony face broke slightly. His lips curled downwards as regret mounted within him.
"Do you know what I am?" he asked.
"Yes," she said, her eyes boring into him.
"I'm sorry," He said. "I couldn't save you."
"I forgive you." Ilya's words were sincere. She smiled at Archer, and he sunk back in his chair as if he could escape the shame that was building up within him. He drew his hand through his hair, leaving himself looking even more distraught than he did before.
He looked down at his lap and said, "I don't deserve it. Of all people, I should have been able to protect you."
Thin warm arms wrapped around his shoulders, and he felt a weight in his lap. He opened his eyes, and found himself staring into Ilya's white hair. She hugged him tightly, rubbing the back of his head like he was the child. "There's no saving me," she said. "No matter what's done, this body won't last another year."
Ilya pulled away and climbed off Archer's lap. He looked down at her, his mouth half open. He didn't expect forgiveness. Though it was just a distant memory, he had watched Ilya die. He didn't do anything but hold her hand. How could she just shrug off his apology for something that hadn't happened yet?
"Can you just accept this?" he asked. "None of what I'm telling you has come to pass."
"It was obvious from the beginning," replied Ilya. She looked at the floor, mulling her words over before speaking. "I could see you in his magecraft. And I can still see him in you, no matter how much the eons have molded you."
"I'm ashamed," said Archer. "My only hope was to be summoned to this time period, to do something to save myself from this eternity of servitude. Yet, this reality is so similar to the one I walked in life. It was clouded and dark at first, but it must be the same."
He turned sharply as Rin entered the room. She looked like she was in a rush, bustling around as she gathered her things.
"Archer, I'll be back soon," she said, grabbing her bag from the living room couch. "I left some of my things at Emiya-kun's house. I'm going to get them now." She muttered under her breath as she stomped across the living room.
Then she was gone, and a moment later the front door slammed behind her. Archer's gaze lingered on the empty living room. Then he looked down once more at the small girl that stood beside his chair. "How cruel is it that I can only see clearly at the very end?"
He stood and walked into the living room, Ilya trailing him. "You remember everything?" she said.
Archer nodded, and gave the front door of the house a quick glance. "There isn't much time left. I have to do what I can to stop him."
"Stop who?" asked Ilya. Her confused expression made Archer grin. She wasn't sure whether to front a serious personality or a childish one.
"I have to stop Emiya Shirou from making a terrible decision," he said. "I have to push him as far as I can."
"I see," said Ilya. She nodded to herself. "I don't understand why, but I can see you're not the same as the other Shirou. You must have lost your way."
"The world has a way of dispelling our infantile sentiments," said Archer. He crouched down in front of her and placed his hands gently on her shoulders. "I have no right to ask this of you, but you've become my only hope. Please save me."
Ilya stepped forwards, and for the second time that day, she put her arms around Archer's neck. "It's ok," she said. "I'll do my best for you. So please don't worry."
Archer closed his eyes and hugged her tightly, struggling to hold back a pain in his chest that he hadn't felt for what seemed like centuries. "Go upstairs," he said, turning his head to look at the door. "You don't need to see this. He'll save you soon."
He could feel Ilya's tears on his cheek as she pulled away. "I'll be waiting, Onii-chan."
Archer stood and turned his back on the girl. "I don't deserve to be called that. I didn't understand anything back then."
"No, I'm sure you were a perfect little brother."
Light footsteps were audible from behind as Ilya ran up the stairs, vanishing into the back rooms of Rin's mansion. Archer sighed to himself and shook his head. Facing the front door, he projected his twin swords. An instant later, the door blew off its hinges, showering the immobile Archer with wood splinters. A figure stepped in, rigidly holding a familiar red lance in its hands.
"Alright," said Archer, staring down his opponent, "Let's see how this goes."
Interlude Out
After grabbing a late lunch, Ayako and I decided that we were too tired to keep going. We had run all over Shinto, doing everything we could think of. The quiet walk back was a relaxing end to our date.
Our posture together had changed. Earlier in the day, she had walked ahead of me, leading the way and only slowing to pull me after her. It was like I was just along for the ride. Now we walked side by side and looked more like a couple than ever before. I was so comfortable with it that I couldn't feel the embarrassment that I usually would. This was what I wanted.
"I had a great time," said Ayako, after a long period of silence. She moved closer to me as we walked, taking my hand in hers. It was warm and softer than I thought it would be. She turned her face away as I smiled. "Dammit, I'm blushing."
"I had fun too," I said, squeezing her hand. She squeezed back and the two of us strolled on in silence.
We reached her house only a few minutes later. After opening the front gate, she paused and turned back to me. I shifted awkwardly from foot to foot. I had no clue what I was supposed to do.
"Shirou, I want you to tell me the truth." Ayako looked me in the eye as she spoke, her face dead serious. "Are you involved in something dangerous?"
I chose my words carefully before speaking. "Tohsaka and I are fighting to stop a disaster from happening. It's definitely dangerous, but we're helping each other."
"You'd better make it out ok," she said. "I don't want you to die after our first date."
"I promise I won't," I said. Then, to top off the clichés for the day, I said, "I promise I'll protect you too."
"Idiot, I don't need your protection!" she growled. She crossed her arms and looked away, upset.
"No wait!" I said, waving my hands to try and calm her. "I know you don't! You're strong, tougher than me, tougher than anyone! But I care about you. I really like you, Ayako, so I want to be there for you."
Ayako looked stunned. Her mouth was open slightly, and her glassy stare made it seem like she hadn't heard me at all. But over the next few seconds, her ears reddened and she broke eye contact.
"That's really no fair," she said quietly, her voice filled with faux-anger. "You can't just say things like that when I'm not prepared."
She took two steps forward, and I resisted the mounting urge to pull away as her arms wrapped around my neck. My pulse quickened as she leaned in with closed eyes. I met her kiss halfway though, and we parted after only a brief moment. My ears matched hers now, and I could still feel the warmth on my lips.
"Heh, this is weird," she said before leaning in again. Then, as we parted for air, "Right? Isn't it weird?"
"A bit," I said with a smile. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her closer to me.
"I don't hate it though." She kissed me once more before pulling away. As she walked to her front door, she looked back over her shoulder at me and called my name. "Shirou, when everything is over, I'll be waiting for you. I want you to tell me everything then."
"I promise I will," I said.
"Good, you can't keep secrets from your girlfriend." She flashed me a smile then shut the door behind her and vanished from my sight.
I walked home in a daze. Rubbing my lips unconsciously, I repeated the events that had just played out over and over again in my head. I had a girlfriend now. The thought only reinforced my resolve to end the Grail War as quickly as possible. I had cared about Ayako before, but now it was different. As strong as she was, I couldn't let anything happen to her.
Upon arriving at home, I noticed the lights were on in the living room. Tohsaka must have made it back, and was probably cooking dinner or something. My pace quickened as I crossed the yard. She was probably eager to hear about the date, and while it was a bit embarrassing, I was looking forward to talking about it.
I heard voices coming from the living room, but thought nothing of it as I took off my shoes. It was only when I stepped inside that I realized something had gone horribly wrong. Tohsaka sat at the living room table with Gilgamesh and Kotomine, talking in hushed voices. The three turned as I walked in. Even Gilgamesh's face was grim and I could tell that Kotomine and Tohsaka were working on some kind of plan.
"What happened?" I immediately asked.
Tohsaka took a deep breath to calm herself before speaking. "Archer is dead Shirou. Caster took Ilya while I was out this afternoon."
I gritted my teeth. Immediately, the day that had seemed so perfect was empty of joy. While I was out having fun, Archer was killed and the girl I promised to protect was kidnapped. If I had been with her, maybe I could have done something.
He must have read my expression, because Kotomine said, "Worry not. Rin and I have been working on a plan. The endgame is upon us now. The Holy Grail War will end tonight."
I nodded and sat down at the table next to Tohsaka. "Alright. Tell me what you have so far."
Author's Note: Here's a short little chapter before we begin the Grail War endgame.
